Frasier Season 8 Episode 10 Cranes Unplugged
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00:00Next Ross. We have Cleo from Redmond on line three.
00:05Hello Cleo. I'm listening. Hi Dr. Crane. I've been dating three different guys and I can't choose
00:12between them. Is it that you can't choose or you don't want to choose? It's just hard. One's really
00:19funny, one's adventurous and one's sensitive. They're all gorgeous too. Oh excuse me Cleo.
00:27This show is for people with real problems. Ross, it sounds to me as if each suitor possesses one
00:36quality that you admire rather than choose among them. Why not try to find one person
00:42who fits all your criteria? Why don't you call back when you're a working single mother whose
00:47choice in dates is between a guy with eight teeth and a guy whose hair is painted on?
00:52Sadly we're out of time. This is Dr. Fraser Crane saying good day Seattle
01:01and good mental health. Unless of course Ross has a problem with it.
01:12Is there something wrong Ross? Because if there is,
01:16we should discuss it before it bleeds into your work.
01:19I'm sorry. I'm just sick of hearing people complain about their love lives while I face
01:24another weekend without plans. Well I empathize but. I know look who I'm telling.
01:34It so happens I have big plans this weekend. Let me guess you and Niles are playing your
01:42zithers again at the renaissance fair. Get real Ross. The renaissance fair is a fortnight after
01:47St. Swithin's day. No my son is coming to town. In fact dad and dad should be picking him up at
01:55the airport right now. I didn't know Freddy was coming. Well it was sort of last minute actually.
02:01You know you remember I had that reunion of sorts with my old college mentor Dr. Tewkesbury.
02:08Well it led to a lot of soul searching. He helped me to realize that I've been defining myself by
02:17my career and it's time that I rearrange my priorities and my first priority is my son.
02:26What is he now 12? No 13 Ross. Wow gosh you know the years really have flown by.
02:34I feel like I've missed so much. So what are you guys going to do? Oh lots of things. I thought
02:40we'd go and see a play and maybe take in the computer show. He loved that and oh I've decided
02:47we are going to read Walden together. It's on vacation. No no Ross it is actually. You see
02:55every year we pick a book to read and discuss. It's it's been sort of a bonding thing between us
03:01and gosh you know I hate to brag but Freddy really is a very articulate young man. He's
03:09very imaginative and you have not to mention what a great sense of humor he has. Oh that reminds me
03:15Frasier Alice said the cutest thing this morning. Careful Ross you don't want to
03:20turn into one of those mothers who bores everybody talking about her child.
03:24At level seven grab the bio suit and then teleport to the acid tank.
03:30Really? Hey grandpa put on MTV channel 46. All right.
03:40Oh geez what is this? They're half new. That's just not right.
03:50I saw this one already.
04:00Oh hello dad. Freddy don't give your dad a heart. I'll call you back.
04:07God it's so good to see you all. Well so how was your flight? Good good good good. Did you
04:16get all your unpacking done? Yeah. Great. Gosh Freddy I've been really looking forward
04:21to seeing you. We're gonna have so much fun. What would you like to do first? Whatever.
04:29Hello? Hey Zack. Hang on let me get some privacy.
04:34Oh that's certainly not the greeting I was expecting. I've never seen such dancing.
04:54What do you think those shorts are made of?
04:57Some sort of steel mesh.
05:11What the hell are you watching?
05:14That's Freddy's program. Good lord.
05:19He doesn't seem very happy to be here. He hardly said two words to me.
05:23Oh it's perfectly normal. You're his dad. Kids that age don't want to talk to their dad.
05:28I never stopped talking to you. I know buddy.
05:38Evening. Oh hi dad. Dinner will be ready soon. Niles is joining us. Good good. Say Daphne um
05:48did Freddy say anything in the car? Not really. We put your show on the radio.
05:54Can I broth give that call of the business? Oh yeah. Oh I'll get that. You know it's a pity she
06:01hasn't found someone to love. I mean what could be sadder than growing old alone? Yeah I wasn't
06:09talking about you Dr. Crane. You've got your father to grow old with. Oh yes.
06:19Niles. Hi. Hey Niles. I didn't miss the squash date did I? No no no I was playing with Jack
06:26Betcher from the club. He humbled me but good. From now on I'll stick to playing you.
06:33Where's Freddy? I can't wait to see him. Oh I'll go and get him.
06:35You always smell so masculine after you've finished exercising.
06:44It's the mango kiwi shower gel.
06:54Hi there. Oh hello. I'm Jack. I just dropped Niles off. Jack. Left this in my car. Oh thank you.
07:02Uh Jack this is Daphne my girlfriend. Oh you're a fine looking one aren't you?
07:10I don't know. Modest. That's good. I don't see a wedding ring. You're single? Yes. Looking? Sure.
07:16For a woman? Right. Employed? A surgeon. Impressive. Thanks. Yeah. Okay well it's good to see you again
07:27Jack. Thanks. Goodbye. What's happening? I think I'm having some kind of stroke.
07:35Rose is lonely so I thought I'd try and set her up with someone. Oh maybe Jack. Hmm. Okay I get it.
07:45Here we are. Oh um hello Freddy. Hi Uncle Niles. Daphne would you give us a moment? Sure.
07:57Freddy about what you just saw uh I know you've always had special feelings for Daphne and there's
08:04something I need to tell you. I already know about you guys. Oh uh and you're okay with that?
08:12I liked her when I was a little kid. I'm over it now. I mean she's like a hundred.
08:18She most certainly is not. It just burns you up that I got her.
08:31Why don't you get us both some sherry?
08:39Well Freddy you know I've made some wonderful plans for our time together.
08:44Uh I've already chosen the book we're going to read. I'll give you a hint. Published in 1854
08:52this paean to self-sufficiency was known as the cornerstone of the transcendental movement.
09:02Yes yes Niles I'll let you get the next one. Freddy any thoughts? No.
09:08Niles it's Walden by Henry David Thoreau. Of course it is.
09:14It is life near the bone where it is sweetest. Should be the source of much lively discussion
09:21wouldn't you say? I don't know. Why don't you just talk about it with Uncle Niles?
09:27Oh yes well uh yes if if that's what you'd like we'll discuss it together.
09:35If the engine whistles let it whistle till it is hoarse for its pain. Oh shut up Niles.
09:42Hey how was the computer expo? Okay.
09:48Say Freddy why don't you tell Grandpa about the new virtual reality?
09:53And he's gone.
09:56Uh did you have fun? Oh yeah it was a blast. We spent the entire time trying to figure out
10:02what the hell was going on with the computer. I don't know what you're talking about.
10:07Oh yeah it was a blast. He spent the entire time trying to ditch me.
10:13You know I only get to see Freddy a few times a year and usually we make the most of it.
10:21Now all he wants to do is play that damn computer game.
10:24Oh you know Fred he's not much different than you were at that age except instead of video screens
10:31and electronics you always had your head in books. That's entirely different Dad. No it isn't.
10:37We couldn't get you to do anything. You know I remember when you read that Walden book it was
10:42on the family camping trip. So what better time to read about nature? Well that's just it. While
10:49you were in the cabin reading about it we were outside enjoying it. You'd rather read about
10:56something than experience it firsthand. You know my mentor remarked on that very thing.
11:12Freddy.
11:16Freddy I've made a decision. We are going to the woods. What for? We are going camping. It'll be
11:23good for the both of us. But I don't want to. Too bad. It'll be fun. Fathers and sons should do fun
11:30things together. Well Grandpa don't do fun things together. Hey leave me out of this.
11:38That's why he's coming along as well.
11:43There will be no TV. There will be no electronics. There will be no distractions. Just three
11:49generations of cranes cooking over a fire and sleeping under the stars. We leave at daybreak.
12:01Good work Freddy.
12:10Oh what an idyllic spot. I'm already beginning to fear like Thoreau.
12:17You can't sleep here. This place bites. It does not bite. It is shelter as good as the best
12:28and sufficient for its coarser and simpler wants. Is that you talking or that guy from Where's Walden?
12:37Good one Freddy. Yes you know the two of you may want to immortalize this
12:43good-natured railroad in these journals that I bought for you. Well thanks but I wouldn't know
12:49what to write. Well Dad you simply write down your experiences. I have to go to the bathroom.
12:55Freddy I I don't see a bathroom. You're surrounded by 50,000 acres of it.
13:02Oh how quaintly rustic. Yes Frederick just pick a tree and make it your own.
13:09So Dad I thought we might do uh an activity later. What kind of activity? Oh I don't know maybe
13:17press some leaves or or whittle a bird call and see if we can lure some finches to our sill.
13:26Take it easy now. We want to save something for tomorrow.
13:31Dad could you please be a little more supportive? Well I'd like to but I tried to get you to come
13:35camping a million times and you had to wait till the playoffs were on. Dad you can watch the playoffs all year.
13:43The kids at the next campsite built a rope swing. Can I go over? I'll see why not. Thanks.
13:52What the hell was that? It's just a rope swing. Wait till he sees his drying weaves in the sun. He'll come running.
13:58You know I'm just about fed up with your sarcasm. I'm trying to do some father-son bonding here so we can just butt out.
14:03You know what? I just thought of something to write in this thing.
14:15This is a bad idea. My hair is flat. Never have a good date when my hair is flat. If it's flat
14:22My hair is flat. Never have a good date when my hair is flat. If it's flat after that's a good date.
14:33Your hair's not flat Roz. It's delightfully frizzy.
14:40Hello. Hey Jack come in. You remember Daphne. This is Roz. Hi Jack. Hi.
14:48So uh where are you two going for dinner? I thought we'd try the pergola. They have a garden patio.
14:54Unless you'd rather eat inside. I don't want you to get cold. Oh don't you worry about that.
15:03Come on Roz. I have a couple of wraps. You can borrow one.
15:08What do you think? She's pretty. You know I should check my service before we go. Oh okay.
15:13Can I pour you some wine? Sure.
15:19It's Dr. Boettcher. Really? Well isn't Dr. Unger on call? I'm kind of busy right now.
15:27All right I'm on my way. There's an emergency with one of my post-op patients.
15:33Please tell Roz I'm really sorry. Of course. Thanks though. Yeah good luck.
15:39We need a man's opinion. The velvet trim or the multi-colored? Where's Jack? He left. He left?
15:48It was an emergency. What kind of an emergency? Like he saw me and thought I was a dog emergency?
15:57No no no. He said you were pretty. That's it? Well he flew out of here as soon as you left the room.
16:04Oh god he was just trying to get out of this date. I've been dumped. Oh I'm sure you weren't dumped.
16:11He was paged right Niles? Oh yeah the whole fake page routine. No no no not even. He actually called in.
16:23I should go. We understand you want to be alone. No Roz I won't hear of it. You'll stay right here
16:29Roz I won't hear of it. You'll stay right here with us. Oh I don't want to be a pain.
16:33You guys have a big evening planned. Roz you are so considerate. We can have an evening any old time.
16:41You'll stay for dinner. I love me. Well what are we having because I don't like fish.
16:50Oh Freddie there you are. Thank goodness. Can I have dinner with these guys? They're having sloppy joes.
16:56I'm sorry but Frederick is going to be having dinner with his family this evening.
17:00Come on dad. That's okay. Come by later. We're making s'mores. Yes we'll see. All right now off you go young people.
17:10Let's uh sit down Frederick and eat your meal. Have a good time? I guess.
17:19What'd you do? We played some frisbee. Sucked with all those trees in the way.
17:29Yes well perhaps one day civilization will come to us.
17:34I don't know. I'm done. Can I go now? No. Why not? Because this is your first camping trip and we're going to enjoy it together.
17:44This isn't my first camping trip. I'm not going to go.
17:50I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going.
17:56I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going.
18:00This isn't my first camping trip. You never told me that. I don't tell you a lot of things. Oh I see.
18:13You may go.
18:21So he's been camping before.
18:26Instead of this being something special between us, it's just another thing I've missed out on. This trip was a bust from the get-go.
18:34We leave at daybreak.
18:38What's with you and daybreak?
18:44I'm going to see if those kids have a generous grandpa with a six-pack.
18:48Sit.
18:56Sit.
19:04I once dated a guy who was so grabby, I jumped out of his car while it was still moving.
19:10Did I ever tell you about this jerk named Nick?
19:14I dated a Nick.
19:16My Nick had a silent G at the beginning of his name. He was Vietnamese.
19:23I wonder who this could be.
19:29Oh, what an incredible surprise. It's Hans. Hans, come in.
19:33Roz, Daphne, this is Hans. He's a doctor from my building.
19:39Nice to meet you.
19:41Hello, Hans. What brings you by?
19:43I'm a friend of Frasier.
19:45Uh, I was downstairs, so I thought I'd pop by, see if he was in.
19:52Yeah, well, he's not.
19:54But still, you could stay for a drink. Why don't you come here? Sit next to Roz.
19:58Niles, help me fix those drinks, will you?
20:00Yes, dear.
20:04Doctor, my eye. That's Ted, the moron from the deli.
20:12Are you sure?
20:14Oh, stop it.
20:16You invited him over here for Roz while she's in no mood to be trifled with, and neither am I.
20:20I'm sorry. I was trying to help.
20:22Yeah, well, if you want to help, get rid of him.
20:24Love you.
20:32Can you believe this, Daphne?
20:34Roz, I am so sorry. This evening's been a disaster.
20:38No, I mean, things are looking up.
20:40Hans and I are really hitting it off. Do you have any mints in here?
20:44Try the cupboards.
20:46Thanks.
20:48I have a feeling about Hans.
20:50He's very funny.
20:52He just told me he was chief doctor of brainiatrics.
21:00Where did he go?
21:02I gave him the boot. He's gone.
21:04Who's gone?
21:06Hans. He had an emergency.
21:08Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
21:10Oh, Roz, I thought this one liked me.
21:12Man, I've driven away two doctors in one night.
21:16No, Hans is just the meat slicer from the deli.
21:22And that's supposed to make me feel better?
21:28Oh, God, I just want to put this whole night behind me.
21:32I don't blame you one bit.
21:34I'm sure it'll all look better in the morning.
21:36I sure hope so.
21:38You two have listened to enough of my problems for one night.
21:46Oh, look, Titanic just started.
21:58When you hear that scratching at your window late at night...
22:04...remember that young couple...
22:08...and fork him!
22:16Oh, come on!
22:18That's scary stuff.
22:20Told that to Duke last summer, and he wet his sleeping bag.
22:26Wait a minute.
22:28It's on this Duke's sleeping bag?
22:32Now you're scared.
22:38Oh, gosh, Dad.
22:40I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier.
22:42I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier.
22:46You know, I guess I was just hoping this trip might give me and Frederick...
22:50...some sort of...
22:52...I don't know...
22:54...golden moment.
22:58I guess I'm just disappointed.
23:00I know.
23:04But, you know, none of this would be happening if we had a TV.
23:08TV makes everyone get along.
23:14Oh, hey, buddy.
23:16Hi, Fred.
23:18Well, I'll just take a little walk.
23:20All right.
23:22See you in a bit, Dad.
23:24All right.
23:26Frederick?
23:28We're going to be leaving in the morning.
23:30But I don't want to go.
23:32No?
23:34I thought you'd be dying to get back to your game, boy.
23:36Well, yeah.
23:38But I kind of made plans.
23:40Oh, really?
23:42With who?
23:44Nobody.
23:46Oh, then you don't have plans.
23:48We leave at...
23:50...nine-ish.
23:52Okay, fine.
23:54I have plans with Melody.
23:58The s'mores girl?
24:00Yeah.
24:02She's cute.
24:04She's a cheerleader.
24:06Oh.
24:10I remember a particular cheerleader from my youth.
24:14Lorna.
24:16She was a beautiful girl.
24:18In fact, I was so intimidated by her, I could never even work up the courage to approach her again.
24:24Dad.
24:26I kissed her.
24:30Oh.
24:32I know.
24:34It was her first time.
24:40It was my first time, too.
24:44I see.
24:46Don't tell Mom about this, okay?
24:48She asks all kinds of stupid questions.
24:50Don't worry, son.
24:52It's just between you and me.
24:56You know, I think I'll write for a while before bed.
25:02Okay.
25:06Whoa.
25:08Did you see the stuff that Grandpa wrote about you?
25:10Give me that!
25:20Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling for salads and scrambled eggs.
25:26Quite stylish.
25:28And maybe I seem a bit confused.
25:31Well, maybe.
25:33But I got you pegged.
25:37But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
25:43They're calling again.
25:47Goodnight, everybody!