Frasier Season 9 Episode 18 War Of The Words
Frasier Season 9 Episode 18 War Of The Words
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Next time your perfectionist tendencies drive you to distraction, just remember this quotation from Henry James.
00:08Excellence does not require perfection.
00:13That's very helpful. Thank you.
00:16Or is it demand? Hmm. Require, demand. Excellence does not require perfection. Excellence does not demand perfection.
00:23Aren't they the same thing?
00:24Of course not, Roz. Shush.
00:27Excellence. Demand. Require. Demand. Require. Oh! Or is it mandate?
00:32I really have to go now.
00:35Oh. Well, doesn't really matter anyway, does it?
00:39Meantime, Seattle, this is Dr. Frasier Crane wishing you good day.
00:43It's, it's, it's require. It is require. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
00:47And good mental health.
00:51Frasier, would you please give this to Freddy for me?
00:58It's for a spelling bee tomorrow.
01:01Roz, it's not a spelling bee. It's the national championship.
01:05Oh. Ooh, when is Lilith coming in?
01:08Well, actually, she's not coming in. She'll be watching the competition from home.
01:12Her victory dance at state finals earned her a long overdue suspension.
01:18So, what is this anyway?
01:20It's a flattened penny.
01:22I found it at the railroad tracks once when I was going through a really bad time.
01:27But as soon as I picked it up, I started getting lucky.
01:31Oh. So that's where it all started.
01:37You know, why are you turning a nice gesture into something dirty?
01:42I'm sorry, Roz. I know it didn't bring you that kind of luck.
01:47Because that would be one tired penny.
01:57Eddie Crane from Seattle, your word is wolf.
02:02Woof!
02:10W-O-O-F.
02:14Woof, woof.
02:17Very good.
02:19Frederick Crane from Massachusetts, your word is onomatopoeia.
02:26Wrong.
02:30Where are your knees? I want to see spelling knees.
02:32Oh, yeah. Right.
02:34Last thing you want to do is pass out on stage because of locked knees.
02:39I know. Allison Scharf, the Frisco fainter.
02:44She went down like a sack of hammers.
02:49All right. Now, go to the hallway mirror and look at your form.
02:56Aren't you two going a little overboard with this?
03:00The drills, the stance, the spelling diet?
03:06Dad, Frederick really wants to win this competition. I'm doing my best to help him.
03:11Oh, you shouldn't over-train him. He needs to have some fun.
03:15I told him he could bring his clarinet.
03:19All right. I'll talk to him.
03:22Thanks, Dad. I think I got my stance down now.
03:26Good boy. Frederick, have a seat for a minute.
03:30Something I want to tell you.
03:35Listen.
03:38I don't want you to get consumed by this spelling bee thing, all right?
03:44It's not important if you're a good speller or the best speller.
03:49The important thing is that you have fun.
03:53Okay?
03:55Okay, Dad. That would be really fun.
03:57What's that?
03:59Kicking butt in the spelling bee.
04:03Oh, Niles.
04:06I'm afraid I've got some bad news.
04:08I could only get two tickets for the spelling bee competition tomorrow.
04:12Oh, that's a shame.
04:14But we'll be there in spirit.
04:17It's probably just as well, considering how emotional I get watching children compete.
04:22I keep thinking how much it means to them.
04:25Like the little girl who studies over candlelight
04:28while her father's down at the local pub drinking away the money for the light bill.
04:34Or the little girl on the school bus
04:36who pretends not to see her father waving at her from the pub.
04:41Then there's the little girl who thinks that by doing well,
04:45she can grow up, purchase the local pub and turn it into a circus
04:49so her father can keep his promise.
04:54We had a little wine at lunch.
04:58Don't worry about the tickets.
05:00While I certainly would have gone to support Freddy,
05:02I have to admit I wasn't looking forward to being back in that environment.
05:07Don't get sidetracked by all the glitz and glamour of the bee.
05:15Spelling well is its own reward.
05:20What was that about?
05:23Well, your uncle Niles has a painful history with spelling bees.
05:28Really? Was he any good?
05:30Yeah, one of the best to ever compete.
05:32Better than you, Dad.
05:35Son, as good as I was,
05:40my spelling couldn't compare with Niles's.
05:44He was right up there.
05:47He was right up there with the likes of William Carrick from Akron
05:54and that Peterson girl from Omaha.
05:59Except your uncle was even younger.
06:03Some people thought he wasn't ready,
06:05that it was a mistake to bring him up to the show right out of elementary school,
06:11but he made it all the way to the last word.
06:17What happened?
06:21He didn't even try to spell it.
06:25He just stood there for a moment
06:29and turned and walked off stage.
06:33He was immediately disqualified and he never competed again.
06:38Never?
06:40Sure, he'd spell now and again.
06:46But only to help you out.
06:48And you had to really need it,
06:50because he could spot a setup a mile away.
06:54Wow, sounds to me like he choked.
06:57Choked.
06:59Or was he the victim of an elaborate conspiracy?
07:04Really?
07:07Well, I thought I heard him coming down the hall.
07:09He choked.
07:16Logorrhea.
07:18Can I have a definition?
07:21Always a bad sign.
07:23Excessive use of words.
07:25L-O-G-O-R-H-E-A.
07:31Logorrhea.
07:33I'm sorry, that's incorrect.
07:36Log homeschool.
07:39And that completes the 10th round.
07:41We'll begin round 11 of the National Spelling Championship
07:44after a five-minute intermission.
07:48Freddy, you're doing great, son, great.
07:51Yeah, you got it made,
07:52especially since that Asian kid was eliminated.
07:55They're the ones you have to watch out for.
07:57Dad, don't stereotype.
08:00Not even a positive one?
08:02Jeez, what's happening in this country?
08:07Hi, Freddy.
08:08Hi, Amanda.
08:14Don't let her distract you with her wiles, son.
08:19There'll be plenty of women once you win this thing, all right?
08:23Okay, now, a little wobbly on that last word.
08:25Just remember, when the root word is Greek,
08:28the sound is made with the letter Y.
08:32So far, all the sneaky ones have had Greek roots.
08:35Oh, so it's okay for you to stereotype.
08:39Dad, we've gone over this a million times.
08:42I got it.
08:43Where'd you get the soda?
08:45Oh, come on, I'll show you.
08:49Hey, hi there.
08:51John Clayton.
08:52Oh, hi.
08:53You're my son and one of the finalists.
08:55Oh, nice to meet you.
08:56I'm Frasier Crane.
08:57I'm Frederick's dad.
08:59You've got a great little speller there.
09:01Ah, yeah, you too.
09:03First year, I take it.
09:05Look, let me give you a little advice.
09:07Watch out for some of the parents.
09:08They can be kind of cutthroat.
09:11Oh, well, thanks for the tip.
09:13No problem.
09:14So, you and Freddy, you work on all the usual things.
09:17Roots, suffixes, prefixes.
09:19Yes, yes, all of that.
09:21How about attitude, breathing, endurance?
09:24Sure, sure.
09:25Yeah.
09:26Endurance.
09:27Excuse me.
09:31Patsy, the green kid's got no legs.
09:37All right, we're ready to resume.
09:41Amanda Abrams.
09:44Amanda, your word is milieu.
09:48Milieu, M-I-L-L-I-E-U, milieu.
09:54Oh.
10:01Won't be long now.
10:09Selepsis, S-Y-L-L-E-P-S-I-S, selepsis.
10:18Warren Clayton.
10:20Recipesense, R-E-C-I-P-I-S-C-E-N-C-E, recipesense.
10:30I'm sorry, but that's incorrect.
10:33If Frederick Crane gets the next word, he will be the national champion.
10:41Your word is hermeneutic.
10:47Um, may I have a definition?
10:51Interpretive or explanatory.
10:55Hermeneutic, H-E-R-M-E-N-E-U-T-I-C, hermeneutic.
11:05We have a new national champion.
11:08Congratulations.
11:13Congratulations.
11:26When you were spelling that last word, I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
11:30Weren't you scared?
11:31A little, but then I just kind of relaxed.
11:34That is your spelling stance working for you.
11:39Bend at the knees, spell with ease.
11:45Well, this calls for a toast.
11:47Is it all right if Freddy has a little C-H-A-M-P-H-A-N-E?
11:51Definitely. He's the best speller in the country.
11:54So I should get the good stuff?
11:56Yes.
11:58You should be very proud of your accomplishment, Freddy.
12:01Just keep it in perspective.
12:04And don't forget the 26 little friends who got you here.
12:10Gather round, everybody.
12:12Almost time for ESPN to air Freddy's interview.
12:15That's right.
12:21You know, I have no idea where ESPN is.
12:26Thanks, Jeff.
12:27See, I told you that penny would bring him good luck.
12:30Oh, well, actually, Roz, I never even gave it to him.
12:33You see, with all of Freddy's hard work and dedication, inspired coaching,
12:39he had no need for your superstitious talisman.
12:45Just a gesture.
12:48I mean, I found it at the railroad tracks, not in some enchanted wood.
12:54Oh, well, what a surprise.
12:59Please come in, everyone.
13:01This is Dr. Bernard Gadsden from the Spelling Bee.
13:04Hi, Doc.
13:05So lovely of you to join us in our little celebration.
13:08Can I get you some refreshment?
13:10Unfortunately, this is not a pleasure visit.
13:12I must inform you that there has been an accusation of cheating.
13:16Not the Asian, kid.
13:20What? I said not the Asian, kid.
13:24Could somebody tell me the rules?
13:27Whoever the culprit is, we have no wish to soil this noble event by filing a formal protest.
13:34We're certainly happy with the way things turned out.
13:37I'm afraid it's Frederick who has been accused of cheating.
13:41What?
13:44I don't know what kind of a sick joke you're playing, but my son is no cheater.
13:49I was there. I didn't see anything.
13:52We have evidence to the contrary.
13:54Mr. and Mrs. Clayton noticed an anomaly on the tape while they were making Warren watch it.
14:03What sort of an anomaly?
14:07You were clearly mouthing the letters as Frederick spelled the last word, Dr. Crane.
14:13I did no such thing.
14:15We have it on the tape.
14:17Well, if I did, it certainly wasn't a conscious act.
14:20It was like singing along at a concert.
14:23You know, I remember being admonished once by the ushers for joining in
14:27in a particularly intense performance of Das Liebe von der Erde.
14:33I wasn't even looking at him.
14:35Let's not make this any more painful than it already is.
14:38The committee has reviewed the tape and decided to award the trophy to Warren Clayton.
14:42What? You can't do that.
14:44It stinks.
14:46I'm sure you'd like to avoid embarrassment as much as we would,
14:49so we'll just say that this was all due to a technicality.
14:52That way, Frederick can keep his regional title
14:55and even attend the banquet tomorrow night for all the finalists.
14:59This isn't fair.
15:01I'm sorry, son.
15:04I hope I'll see you at the dinner.
15:12Thanks a lot, Dad.
15:21Should have given him the penny.
15:31Great news!
15:34I have just spoken with a lawyer
15:36who believes we have a case against the Spelling Bee officials.
15:39Isn't that great?
15:47Frederick...
15:50Look, I know how upset you are.
15:56I'm so sorry.
15:59Frederick, aren't you going to say something?
16:04I talked to Mom today.
16:06You're a bigger man than I am.
16:09That's what she said.
16:18I've never done it this time, have I?
16:21I feel terrible.
16:24He just hates me.
16:27He just hates me.
16:29Oh, he's disappointed, that's all.
16:32Still, he knows that if I made a mistake,
16:34it was only because I wanted him to win so badly.
16:37Oh, he'll get over it.
16:40And when you were 13, you had that science project.
16:43I came in your room and sat on it.
16:46You forgave me.
16:48True.
16:51I spent six months working on that project.
16:55Well, my point is, accidents happen.
16:58He'll come to see that.
17:01I suppose you're right.
17:06Three perfectly good chairs in my room,
17:08you had to sit on my hybrid orchid.
17:12Well, let's hope Freddie's as forgiving as you are.
17:18So, uh, you gonna go to that banquet tonight, Freddie?
17:21I don't think so.
17:23There'll just be a bunch of people saying bad stuff about me.
17:28None of which is true.
17:30But they think it is.
17:33Here you go.
17:35Uncle Niles,
17:37is it true that you walked off stage
17:39on the last sort of the national beat?
17:43Now, where did you hear that?
17:45Dad and Grandpa.
17:47They said you were one of the best.
17:49Well, they exaggerate.
17:51They said you were just as good as somebody named Carrick?
17:55Just as good.
17:59Funny.
18:04Anyway,
18:07the story is true.
18:10I've never talked about it before, but
18:13I will.
18:15Since you also have the gift.
18:18Have a seat.
18:22I was, uh, a little younger than you.
18:26Been winning numerous
18:30competitions, but, uh,
18:32I was obsessed with one thing, and one thing only.
18:35The national championship.
18:38And the time finally came, and
18:40there I was, standing on that stage,
18:43waiting for the judge to say the final word.
18:48And suddenly it happened.
18:51It all clicked.
18:53All the rules, I before he,
18:56assimilations, etymologies,
18:58they all became one.
19:03And them
19:05became nothing.
19:10In that moment, I realized
19:13there was no word I couldn't spell.
19:18Competitions didn't matter anymore.
19:21Because I was one with the higher truth
19:25that is spelling.
19:30So when the judge said that last word,
19:33I simply walked away.
19:36Didn't you care what people said?
19:38Oh,
19:40people said
19:42a lot of things that weren't true.
19:44He didn't know the word.
19:46He was scared.
19:48Mafia this.
19:53No, it didn't bother me.
19:55Because they couldn't take away
19:57what I knew in my heart.
20:00You know how to spell.
20:04And it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks.
20:12Hey, hey, don't you want your ice cream?
20:15No.
20:17I have a banquet to go to.
20:24Ah, here we are.
20:27Hi, Amanda.
20:35Never mind her, Freddie.
20:37It's her problem, not yours.
20:40You didn't do anything wrong.
20:44I know.
20:46And neither did you.
20:50Excuse me.
20:54Good evening.
20:56I'd like to take this opportunity
20:58to welcome you to this year's annual spellabration.
21:05Because of the irregularities with this year's event,
21:09this gathering has been renamed
21:11the Unity Dinner
21:13and is in honor of all the finalists.
21:21What the hell is that supposed to mean, irregularities?
21:24Frazier, Frazier, let it go.
21:26Crane,
21:28no hard feelings.
21:32No feelings at all.
21:34Oh, don't be like that.
21:37You're not the first person tempted to get around the rules.
21:40You just got caught.
21:42I did not get caught.
21:45Well, cameras never lie and cheaters never prosper.
21:48And you never shut up.
21:50Frazier, Frazier,
21:52let's try to follow Frederick's example
21:54and carry ourselves with dignity.
21:56Where are your carrots?
21:58Freddie?
21:59What's going on?
22:01I caught these two fighting in the men's room.
22:04He punched me.
22:05Is this true?
22:06He deserved it.
22:09Why didn't you do it, Freddie?
22:13I called my dad a cheater.
22:15You are defending me?
22:17Where's your blazer?
22:18It's in the bathroom.
22:20Oh, dear. If it's touched the floor, we'll have to destroy it.
22:25Freddie, I want you to apologize to Warren right now.
22:28Yes, and Warren, you apologize too.
22:30Being a name-caller is almost as bad as being a cheater.
22:34I am not a cheater.
22:36You are a thief.
22:38My son is the true champion.
22:40Yeah, when your dad's here to help you.
22:42Hey, I can outspell you any time, any place.
22:45Oh, yeah? How about right now?
22:47Hold on, son. We don't have to prove anything.
22:50I can take you in five words.
22:52Okay, you're on.
22:53For the trophy.
22:55We already have the trophy.
22:58Creighton, why don't you talk some sense into your boy there?
23:02Freddie.
23:03Dad, I want a spell.
23:13What's the matter, John?
23:15You scared?
23:23For the trophy.
23:24We have already selected an official winner.
23:27If you would like to brawl, take it someplace else.
23:30Let's take it outside.
23:31To the street!
23:38Sudden death.
23:39Scripps Howard rule.
23:41Bring it on.
23:42People, stop, please.
23:45Look at yourselves.
23:49This is wrong.
23:52What are words, after all, but a way to communicate?
23:55To bring us together?
23:57But you, you're using them as weapons.
24:04Now, we still have an opportunity to walk away from here as winners.
24:09And wouldn't that be the greatest spell-ebration of all?
24:18He's right, son.
24:21Let's go home.
24:24Scott, we're all winners.
24:26Except for the two cheaters.
24:31Hey, you know how to spell loser?
24:33C-R-A-N-E.
24:39You don't have to worry about ever seeing him again, son.
24:41Chances are he'll end up at a state school.
24:48How dare you!
24:53Can you take him?
24:54Yeah.
24:56Then spell his ass off!
25:09Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling
25:12Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:15Oh, my.
25:18And maybe I seem a bit confused
25:21Yeah, maybe, but I got you pregged
25:26But I don't know what to do
25:28With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:34They're calling again
25:38Scrambled eggs all over my face
25:41What is there more to do?
25:46Frasier has left the building
25:51He's gone
25:53He's gone
25:55He's gone
25:57He's gone
25:59He's gone
26:01He's gone
26:03He's gone
26:05He's gone
26:07He's gone
26:09He's gone
26:11He's gone
26:13He's gone
26:15He's gone
26:17He's gone