Bullwinkle Takes Hollywood Starring Rocky & Bullwinkle
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🛠️
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00:30Oh, Bullwinkle the Moose, and a host of others.
00:37Hurry, Bullwinkle, the show's about to start.
00:40I'm coming as fast as I can.
00:43Wave to the people.
00:46Yay!
00:48Now what are you doing?
00:49Signing autographs. This is John Smith.
00:53But your name is Bullwinkle.
00:55I know, but that's hard to spell.
01:00We're gonna have a lot of fun. Come on and join us.
01:06Sure. There's always room for one more.
01:19Well, it looks as if Frostbite Falls is really on the way to becoming a big town.
01:24For the tiny Minnesota hamlet can now claim its own movie theater,
01:28the Frostbite Falls Bijou Theater and Pet Shop.
01:31And here coming out of the lobby and past the white mice are our two heroes,
01:35Rocket Squirrel and Bullwinkle Moose.
01:37Keen pictures, eh, Bullwinkle?
01:39Yeah, all except that last one.
01:41You mean a trolley named Tallulah starring Marge Marlowe and his ultra-sultry look?
01:46Yeah, too much mushy stuff.
01:48He sure had an ultra-sultry look, though.
01:50Oh, anybody can look like that.
01:52Can you?
01:53Just watch.
01:54I'm not here, Stella. Things are gonna be done my way, I'm not alone.
01:58You understand, Stella?
02:00That didn't look very ultra-sultry to me.
02:02But as fate would have it, Bullwinkle had inadvertently opened a cage full of white mice
02:06and at that instant they were spotted by two nearby girls.
02:10What, what, what?
02:11Gee, you just looked at them and they fainted.
02:14I told you I got an ultra-sultry look.
02:16Boy, try it again.
02:18Okay.
02:19I've got a thing here they call a Napoleonic code, Stella, and...
02:25Pretty sensational, Rock.
02:26I didn't know you had it in you, Bullwinkle.
02:28Me neither. It just sort of oozed out.
02:31You're as good as Marge Marlowe.
02:33Who's he?
02:34Try it one more time, just to make sure.
02:36Well, I hate to give it away for free, but okay.
02:39It's gonna be you and me all the way, Stella, honey.
02:43But by this time the mice were all gone and this lady's reaction was different.
02:49Hey, hey, lookie there, Rock. She's hysterical with love.
02:52Sure looks like it.
02:54But when Bullwinkle had passed on, the lady recovered enough to gasp.
02:57The most ridiculous thing I ever saw in my life.
03:01But it was too late.
03:02By the time he got home, Bullwinkle was already convinced that he was the greatest actor who ever lived.
03:07Oh, come now, I'm not big-headed.
03:08No?
03:09I'm just the greatest actor since Elmo Lincoln.
03:12Elmo Lincoln?
03:13And there's only one place where I can give of my talents.
03:16The annual moose picnic?
03:18No, Hollywood.
03:20Hollywood?
03:22No, no, Hollywood, with three or four L's.
03:25And Bullwinkle swiftly packed the suitcase and flung his mattress over his shoulder.
03:29Why the mattress, Bullwinkle?
03:31Well, lookie here, it's stuffed full of money I earned on my paper route.
03:34It's my life savings.
03:35In a mattress?
03:36Why don't you use a safe deposit box?
03:39My feet hang over the edge.
03:41Not to sleep on, to keep your money in.
03:44Because when you put it in a bank, you can't take it with you.
03:47And I'm going.
03:48Well, I think it's just silly.
03:50You go on if you want to.
03:51I'm going to stay here.
03:53Tot, tot, Rockin' J Squirrel.
03:55Who are you?
03:56I'm your conscience.
03:58You can't let Bullwinkle go.
04:00Why not?
04:01Think of your friendship.
04:03Well...
04:04Think of your years together.
04:06Well...
04:07Think of the plot.
04:09Yeah, that's right.
04:11Okay, I'll do it.
04:13I'll go along to keep him out of trouble.
04:15You should live so long.
04:17And so a short while later, Rocky and Bullwinkle stood together at the railroad ticket counter.
04:21That'll be 91.60, Bullwinkle.
04:23Right.
04:24Got it right here.
04:26My gonnies, that's the biggest wallet I ever did see.
04:29And in a short while, our heroes were on a train headed toward the setting sun
04:33and perhaps Bullwinkle's rising star.
04:36All unaware that a few seats away,
04:38two pairs of sinister eyes were staring wickedly at Bullwinkle's mattress full of money.
04:43Don't miss our next episode of Punch in the Snoot or The Nose Tattoo.
04:50Last time you remember, Bullwinkle tried out his ultra-sultry look
04:53on a couple of young ladies who promptly fainted dead away.
04:58Bullwinkle didn't know that the girls had really fainted because they saw a mouse.
05:02Yeah, now he's convinced he's the greatest actor in the world.
05:05Oh, I am not.
05:06You're not?
05:07I'm just one of the greatest.
05:09But you can't go to Hollywood, Bullwinkle.
05:11I don't want to go, Rock.
05:13But they need me.
05:15You ought to be in pictures.
05:16Oh, isn't that terrible?
05:18You were born to be kissed.
05:20Come on now, Bullwinkle, you're not serious.
05:23Just watch me.
05:24And snatching up a mattress full of money earned from his paper route,
05:27the movie-struck moose had left the cottage.
05:29Wait up, Bullwinkle.
05:30You're my buddy.
05:31I gotta go along with you.
05:33Yeah, no blessed oblige, eh, Rock?
05:35What's that mean?
05:36I don't know, I just made it up.
05:38Now our boys are on their way to California,
05:40unaware that Bullwinkle's mattress full of money
05:42is the target of two pairs of sinister eyes belonging to...
05:45Oh, no, it isn't...
05:46Oh, it can't be.
05:48Say the name.
05:50Boris and Natasha.
05:52Ta-da!
05:53Then we steal mattress, Boris.
05:55No time like the president, Natasha.
05:57Look, we're coming to tunnel.
05:59When it gets dark, we grab mattress and make a run for it.
06:02Okay?
06:03Okay.
06:04And as our heroes sat unsuspecting,
06:06the train plunged into a dark tunnel.
06:08Now, Natasha.
06:10Hey, what's going on?
06:11Yeah, who are you?
06:12I'm Bullwinkle.
06:13Not you, you.
06:14I'm still Bullwinkle.
06:16I got it, Natasha, let's go.
06:17But Boris...
06:18Don't argue, let's get out of here.
06:20And as the train emerged from the tunnel,
06:22Boris chuckled gleefully.
06:24Well, here it is, Natasha, right over my shoulder.
06:27I certainly am.
06:29Natasha, it's you.
06:31Boris, how could you mistake me for mattress?
06:34Can I help it if you put on weight?
06:36Boris, we've missed our chance.
06:38Silly girl.
06:39Remember old Pozzolainian proverb.
06:41We have only begun to fight.
06:44Darling, that was said by American, John Paul Jones.
06:48We invented John Paul Jones.
06:50Oh.
06:51Well, our boys weren't bothered for the rest of the trip
06:53and finally arrived safe and sound in the movie capital of the world.
06:57Hollywood, here I am.
06:59Nobody seems to care very much, Bullwinkle.
07:01Ah, but Rocky was wrong.
07:03Somebody cared a lot.
07:05Welcome.
07:06Welcome to Hollywood, stranger.
07:08Well, that's Betty.
07:10We greet you with open hearts, darling.
07:12What would you like to buy?
07:14Buy?
07:15I thought you were greeting us with open hearts.
07:17It's 50-50 deal.
07:19We open hearts, you open mattress.
07:21Buy a souvenir of Hollywood, darling.
07:23Sure.
07:24Postcards, oranges, cemetery lads,
07:26bottles, smog, all kind tourist attraction.
07:28Tourist?
07:29I'll have you know I'm a bona fide actor.
07:31An actor?
07:33Oh, boy, are you in luck.
07:35Sometimes, why?
07:36Do you know who I am?
07:38Come to think of it, you do look familiar.
07:40And that voice.
07:41Of course.
07:42Allow me to introduce myself.
07:45D.W. Grifter at your service.
07:47Not D.W. Grifter, the famous talent scout.
07:50Who else?
07:51Stick with me, boobie, I'll make you a star.
07:54Cross your heart?
07:55Of course, doll, baby.
07:57Just place your mattress, your fate in my hands.
08:00Your hands.
08:01And the world will be at your feet.
08:03Your hands and feet.
08:05Your serrate, sweetie.
08:07Now, why should Bora stand there patting Bullwinkle on the back?
08:10Looking for soft spot for the night.
08:13Better not miss our next episode,
08:15Fun on the Freeway,
08:17or the Quick and the Dead.
08:21Well, Bullwinkle arrived in Hollywood
08:23as a movie capital by storm.
08:25But so far, he hasn't even drizzled.
08:27With his mattress full of money, though,
08:29he was an immediate target for a talent scout
08:31named D.W. Grifter who looked a lot like you-know-who.
08:34Stick with me, boobie, and your name will be in lights.
08:37Oh, I can see it now.
08:39Me too.
08:40Bullwinkle J. Moose.
08:42Bullwinkle J. Moose.
08:43No, no, no, no.
08:44We need name with more zing.
08:46Bullwinkle J. Zing?
08:48No, wait.
08:49It's coming, it's coming.
08:51What's coming, darling?
08:52Christmas, maybe?
08:53Possibly St. Swithin's Day.
08:55No, the name, the name.
08:57Yes.
08:58I got it.
08:59Lay it on me.
09:01Craig Antler.
09:03Take it off me again.
09:05Craig Antler?
09:06Yes.
09:07Can't you just see that name in light?
09:09Yeah, and it's got bigger bulbs, too.
09:11There's no time to lose.
09:12We got to get you in school right away.
09:14Cool.
09:15I knew there was a catch in this acting business.
09:17But first, let's settle my little fee.
09:19Fee?
09:20Yes, I take ten percent.
09:22Of my salary?
09:23No, of your mattress.
09:25Well, the next day, a poorer but no wiser Bullwinkle...
09:27Please, Craig.
09:29Craig enrolled in the Thimble Ridge School of Drama and Dance
09:32and awaited the appearance of his dramatic coach.
09:34I'm all a Twitter rush.
09:36I think he's coming.
09:37Hello, hello, hello.
09:39Allow me to introduce myself.
09:41Gregory Rath at your service.
09:44Well, let's get to work.
09:46You mean I got to go to school to learn how to act?
09:48Of course, it makes big difference.
09:50Look, here is picture of actor before and after lessons.
09:54Quite a difference, Bullwinkle.
09:56Yeah, this after picture looks great.
09:58You a nut or something?
10:00That's the before picture.
10:01You mean he looks like this on purpose?
10:03Believe me, it's the only way to crack showbiz.
10:06You've heard of the method school of acting?
10:08I think so.
10:10This is the shortcut version of the method.
10:12I call it the system.
10:14And the disguised Boris began to teach Bullwinkle the system.
10:17He took courses in elementary slouching,
10:21advanced slouching,
10:23t-shirt tearing,
10:25contemporary beards and how they grew
10:27and theoretical and applied mumbling.
10:29All at the rate of $20 an hour.
10:31Boris was very happy.
10:33Look at that pile of frog skins, Natasha.
10:36Don't move, catch on eventually, Boris.
10:39Catch on? Look at that face, Natasha.
10:42Yes, I guess you're right.
10:44But the villains hadn't counted on the intelligence
10:46of his buddy, our hero, Rocket J. Squirtle.
10:49Bullwinkle, you look terrible.
10:51Yeah, isn't it great?
10:53When I get to be a complete mess, I graduate.
10:55But you're not learning anything.
10:57Not learning anything? Listen.
11:02What was that?
11:03That was my mumbling lesson for today.
11:05Pretty good, huh?
11:06Bet you couldn't understand a word, could you?
11:08No, and neither will anybody else.
11:10Nobody will ever give you an acting job.
11:12But at that moment, the door burst open
11:14and in strode a commanding figure.
11:16Hold it. Don't move a muscle.
11:18Can I tremble a little?
11:20Marvelous. Sensational.
11:22He's just what I want.
11:23And who are you?
11:25You don't know me, you peasant.
11:27Who is he, Miss Fitz?
11:29He's the famous movie director,
11:32Alfred Hitchhike.
11:34Alfred Hitchhike?
11:36Yes, and Moose Uncle Alfred wants you.
11:41Well, is this Bullwinkle's big break?
11:44We'll find out next time in Bullwinkle Makes a Movie
11:47or The Feature from Outer Space.
11:52Last time you remember, Bullwinkle was discovered
11:54by the famous movie director, Alfred Hitchhike.
11:56He's sensational.
11:58He's got a certain something that no other movie actor has.
12:01What certain something?
12:02A pair of antlers.
12:03That's good.
12:04You mean you're really going to put Bullwinkle in a movie?
12:07We start shooting in the morning.
12:09Oh boy, a western.
12:10Non, non.
12:11It's a stark and soul-searing tragedy.
12:14A picture to tear at your purse strings.
12:16At heart strings.
12:18What's the name of this picture?
12:20The Last Angry Moose starring Craig Antler.
12:23That's me.
12:24Directed by Alfred Hitchhike.
12:26That's you.
12:27Produced by Bullwinkle Moose.
12:29Hey, that's me too.
12:30What does a producer produce?
12:33He produces money.
12:35And so Bullwinkle's mattress got lighter and lighter
12:37as the moose paid for a studio,
12:39a spotlight, a camera, and even a chair for Bora,
12:41I mean Alfred Hitchhike.
12:43Okay, quiet on set.
12:44Roll them.
12:45You can't do it, Commander.
12:47It's murder to send up an orange in a crate like that.
12:50Cut, cut.
12:51Oh boy.
12:52Easy, darling.
12:53Remember, he's paying you a thousand dollars a week.
12:56It's not enough, Natasha.
12:58Okay, next scene.
13:00You heard me, T-Texas.
13:02This here town ain't big enough for the both of us.
13:05Well, I'm a-fixing to do something about that right now.
13:08You gonna draw?
13:09Yes, sir, I'm gonna draw up plans for a bigger town.
13:13Oh, Natasha, there must be easier way to steal money.
13:17But then one day, the last angry moose was finished
13:19and our heroes prepared to attend the big gala premiere
13:22of their picture.
13:23Hurry, Bullwinkle.
13:24Rocky, it's gone.
13:25My money mattress is gone.
13:27Oh, who could have tooken it?
13:29Who indeed but your fiend and my fiend, Boris Baranov,
13:32who was at that moment heading for the border.
13:34But darling, why did they steal mattress?
13:36Moose was giving us the money.
13:37I just couldn't face another day of watching him act.
13:40Meanwhile, our heroes rumbled and ejected.
13:43That's Rocky and Bullwinkle.
13:44Oh, well.
13:45Anyway, they arrived late at the theater
13:47just as the picture was ending.
13:49Don't get too close, Rock.
13:50You'll get your feet wet.
13:51What do you mean?
13:52It's a pretty tragic tragedy, you know.
13:54So?
13:55So when these doors open,
13:56there's gonna be a flood of tears.
13:58But when Bullwinkle opened the theater doors,
14:00he heard...
14:03Rocky!
14:04Rocky, they're laughing at the ending.
14:06And that's the saddest part.
14:08Yes, even the sight of Bullwinkle's plane
14:10being shot down in flames
14:11by a band of marauding Apaches...
14:15Even this didn't make the audience cry.
14:17Instead...
14:20Well, it seems that Bullwinkle had inadvertently
14:22produced the greatest laugh hit
14:24since Tilly's punctured romance.
14:25Last angry moose smash hit.
14:28At Laurant Expo 4 at box office.
14:31And here's my latest exclusive
14:33to coin a phrase,
14:34a star is born.
14:36Yes, Bullwinkle's picture
14:37caused a sensation, all right.
14:38Almost as big as the sensation
14:40when its star,
14:41Craig Antler,
14:42disappeared.
14:43Next week, Craig Antler disappears.
14:45Movie starring, quick fade out.
14:47And here is my latest exclusive
14:49to coin a phrase,
14:51a star is gone.
14:53Meanwhile, back in Frostbite Falls,
14:54Rocky was speaking to his pal
14:55who reposed on a brand new mattress
14:57full of brand new money.
14:58But gee, Craig...
15:00The name is Bullwinkle.
15:01Don't you want to be a famous comedian
15:03and make a hilarious movie?
15:04Nope, it's just not fitting.
15:06What's not fitting?
15:07Well, you go to all that work
15:08and then people laugh at you.
15:10And so as the sun sinks slowly
15:12behind our threadbare plot,
15:13we leave our heroes.
15:14Be with us next time
15:15for the further adventures of
15:17Rocky the Flying Squirrel.
15:22This episode is over,
15:23but the very best of my collection
15:25is banned on YouTube.
15:28To see what you have been missing,
15:30go to archive.org
15:33and search for Gyro Screw Loose
15:36and I'll see you there.