Rocky & Bullwinkle Starring In Bullwinkle The Quarterback
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00:00Je ne sais pas pourquoi, mais j'ai l'impression qu'il y a un problème avec la musique.
00:07Je ne sais pas pourquoi, mais j'ai l'impression qu'il y a un problème avec la musique.
00:30Pour Bullwinkle the Moose and a host of others.
01:01Nous allons avoir beaucoup d'amour. Venez nous rejoindre.
01:06Bien sûr, il y a toujours de l'espace pour un autre.
01:19Notre histoire s'ouvre aujourd'hui sur le campus d'un grand collège de Minnesota, l'université de Wasamata.
01:24A l'intérieur du bâtiment d'administration, une importante rencontre se déroule.
01:28Je ne veux pas vous alarmer, mais ça semble être un désastre pour Wasamata.
01:32Qu'est-ce que ça veut dire, désastre?
01:35Qu'est-ce qu'il dit?
01:36Le chancelier a dit qu'on se rencontre avec un désastre.
01:39Que dire?
01:40Désastre.
01:41Je ne connais pas les mots. Qu'est-ce qu'il dit de camp-town races?
01:45Mesdames, si nous ne faisons pas rapidement, nous allons rencontrer notre doom.
01:50Qu'est-ce qu'il dit?
01:51Doom, doom, doom.
01:52Les filles de camp-town chantent la chanson.
01:55Please, this is no time for levity.
01:57Our enrollment has dropped 80%.
01:59Our buildings are crumbling away.
02:01And what's even worse?
02:02Yes, yes.
02:03They're taking the coke machine out of the faculty lounge.
02:07Oh, horror!
02:08But why, why?
02:09The answer is simple, gentlemen.
02:11What does every successful university have that we don't have?
02:15Well-heeled alumni?
02:16Electric lights?
02:17The address of the Ford Foundation?
02:19No, a successful football team.
02:23Do we even have a football team?
02:25Yes, what's the matter? You did have a team of sorts, but it hadn't scored a goal in 22 years.
02:30And it's time we did.
02:32Oh, I don't know. Seems a shame to spoil a perfect record like that.
02:35But Coach, Rocky Canute had something to say about that.
02:37I move we get the best football team money can buy.
02:40Hear, hear.
02:41But how will we pay for it?
02:43How else? We'll fire a few English teachers.
02:45Yeah, who needs them? We all speak English already.
02:49Some of us do, anyway.
02:51Are you incinerating that I'm dumb?
02:53That you're what?
02:54Dumb, dumb, dumb.
02:56Gone to run all night, gone to run all day.
02:59And so it was settled. Five professors were sacked, and five football scouts were hired.
03:04All right, you guys, I want you to scour the city, comb the countryside, and especially beat the bushes.
03:10Why beat the bushes?
03:12The kind of fellas we want are probably living in them. Now go on.
03:16The scouts sought high and low for candidates for football glory.
03:19They poked into every nook and cranny in the state.
03:22A couple of them even went further than that.
03:24They got completely lost, and as a result, wound up in Frostbite Falls, where as fate would have it,
03:28Rocket Squirrel chose that moment to save.
03:31Gosh, Bowinkle, I'm making a salami souffle, and I'm all out of wiffle powder.
03:36Dad, this is fraught with portent.
03:38What's fraught with portent?
03:40This picture, see? There's Eddie Frost and George Portent. Nice fellas.
03:44Bowinkle, I gotta get down to the store and back before the salami souffle flops.
03:49Stop snuffling and speak up.
03:51Well, give me a hand, Bowinkle.
03:53Delighted.
03:55Hurry!
03:56Oop!
03:57And propelled by mighty moose muscle, Rocky Flash cleared a town into the grocery store and back before you can say,
04:02Jack Robinson!
04:03Jack Robin!
04:04Here I am!
04:05By golly, I couldn't do that.
04:07Of course, all this hadn't gone unnoticed.
04:09You know what this means, Chauncey?
04:11Certainly. A fluffy souffle.
04:13No, it means we found the football sensation of the year.
04:17I think he's too furry for a football. And that tail.
04:20Not the squirrel, the moose.
04:22He's the wrong shape for a football.
04:24But he's the right shape for a passer. Come on.
04:26And the two Scots dashed into Bowinkle, pen in hand.
04:29Sign here, fella.
04:30It's a college scholarship.
04:32A scholarship?
04:34Certainly. I can see at a glance, you're brainy.
04:36Yeah!
04:37You're intelligent.
04:38Yeah!
04:39You're brilliant.
04:40Yeah!
04:41Then why don't you sign?
04:42I forget how to make a B.
04:43Maybe he'll remember next time in A College for Two or Rock in Rolls.
04:49Last time you remember, the trustees of What's the Matter You were wondering how to keep their college from going bankrupt.
04:55How about giving an honorary degree to Daddy Warbucks?
04:58You nanny, he's only a make-believe character.
05:01We're real?
05:02In the end, of course, they followed the lead of so many other colleges, they decided to get a winning football team.
05:07As a result, two Scouts are trying to sign up Bowinkle.
05:10Bowinkle, you know who these fellas are?
05:12Pick and Pat?
05:13No.
05:14Gallagher and Sheen?
05:15No.
05:16Mull and Voight? Fair and Wormy?
05:17No, they're Scouts.
05:19If they're Scouts, let's see them rub two sticks together.
05:22They're football Scouts.
05:23Then let's see them rub two footballs together.
05:27Let's check the little old rulebook, Edgar.
05:29Uh-oh.
05:30Trouble?
05:31Says here we can enroll anybody except a moose.
05:34Let me see that.
05:35Oh, Chauncey, that doesn't say moose.
05:38No.
05:39That's mouse.
05:40Hot diggity!
05:41Come on, sign.
05:42Okay.
05:43X.
05:44Bowinkle, you know how to spell your name.
05:47Yeah, but I don't want to look like a show-off.
05:49That's not...
05:50Humble, that's me.
05:51Yeah, but...
05:52Mr. Modesty.
05:53But...
05:54When it comes to humility, I'm the greatest.
05:56So I see.
05:58And so it came to pass that a few days later, Bowinkle Moose arrived on the campus of Wassamatta U.
06:03It's like a beautiful dream rock.
06:05There must be a catch in it somewhere.
06:07You sure you got everything, Bowinkle?
06:09Well, let's see.
06:10I'm wearing my bell-bottom trousers and three-tone shoes.
06:13Yeah.
06:14I got my ukelele and my hair stick-em.
06:16Uh-huh.
06:17Do you have your textbooks?
06:18Don't bother me with details, Rock.
06:20Mr. Moose, I'm your counselor.
06:22Now, about your classes...
06:24I just wear them to read.
06:25No, no, your classes.
06:27I gotta go to classes?
06:28Of course.
06:29I told you there was a catch in it somewhere.
06:31Now, I'd suggest you take Introduction to Chemical Kinetics, Differential Calculus, and the History of the Peloponnesian Wars.
06:37Take them! I can't even pronounce them!
06:39Boy, they sound tough!
06:41I'll never have time to play football!
06:43Oh, you're a football player?
06:45The Frostbite Falls Flash!
06:47Wanna see my clippings?
06:48From your last game?
06:49No, from my last haircut!
06:51It won't be necessary.
06:52You'll take the regular classes for an athletic scholarship.
06:55Which are?
06:57Personal grooming, crocheting, and reading modern classics.
07:01That last one sounds tough.
07:02What modern classic do I have to read?
07:05Dick and Jane at the Seashore.
07:08Well, that's more like it!
07:10I'm afraid so.
07:12Well, how you making out, Flash?
07:14Just dandy fool, Mr. Scout!
07:16You know who this is?
07:17Of course! The Scoutmaster!
07:19No, this is our coach, Rocky Canute.
07:22What a day, pal.
07:24Oh, thanks a mil. It was getting a mite heavy.
07:27Maybe you better suit up, Moose.
07:29In a few moments, Bullwinkle was retired in his very own football uniform.
07:33Bullwinkle, you're barefoot.
07:35Yeah, I like to feel my toes grip the earth.
07:38Besides, they didn't have any size 22s.
07:41Well, let's see you throw one, Moose.
07:43Throw a game already? I haven't even started practicing yet.
07:46Not a game, a pass.
07:48Let's see you throw a forward pass.
07:50Okay.
07:51How's this?
07:52And Bullwinkle faded back, cocked his arm and fired a forward pass that traveled...
07:58...a miserable ten feet and fell to the ground.
08:01How's that, coach?
08:03Coach?
08:05Gee, way to go!
08:06Over in a dead faint, that's where!
08:08Well, is this the end of Bullwinkle's sports career?
08:11Be sure to see our next episode,
08:13The Hidden Ball Play, or Goal is Where You Find It.
08:19Well, Bullwinkle's career as a football player had quite a setback last time when Coach Canute said...
08:24Well, Moose, do you think you can pass?
08:26I don't know. I'll study hard.
08:28No, no, I mean a forward pass.
08:30Oh, that! Sure!
08:32How's this?
08:33And Bullwinkle lofted a forward pass that didn't travel more than ten feet.
08:37That's a forward pass.
08:39It went forward, didn't it?
08:40Turn in your suit, Moose.
08:42No, wait. I think I know what's wrong, coach.
08:45Let me send her the ball.
08:47Okay. One, two, three.
08:50Now, Bullwinkle, alley-oop!
08:53Well, it was the alley-oop that did it.
08:55The football zoomed into the air, down the field, over the goal post,
08:58over the stadium, and across the campus toward the administration building!
09:02Now, Chancellor, this here stadium will cost you only seven million dollars,
09:05and we can start building on...
09:07A lot of money, Mr. Herdlicka. I don't think we...
09:10What's that?
09:11It's a football.
09:12How did it get here?
09:13Offhand, I'd say it was thrown here by your new fullback.
09:16Well, don't just stand there, Herdlicka. Build something.
09:20And immediately, work started on a brand-new stadium for What's the Matter You,
09:23while on the practice field, Bullwinkle and Rocky worked out with the rest of the team.
09:27Ollie!
09:28Oops!
09:29Oh, I got it, I got it!
09:32Gee, not so hard, Bullwinkle. That's the third pass receiver we've lost today.
09:37We don't lose them, Rock. They pick them up in the next county.
09:40But passing wasn't Bullwinkle's only football talent.
09:42When he put his head down and charged, he could take out one whole side of the opposing line.
09:47That's what I like, a player who uses his head.
09:50It's also good for hanging hats on.
09:52Came time for What's the Matter You's first game with the Watchmakers Technical Institute.
09:56Or as it is known, Tick-Tock-Tick.
09:58It wasn't a game, it was a slaughter.
10:01Ollie!
10:02Oops!
10:04Ding!
10:05Ollie!
10:06Oops!
10:08Ding!
10:09A minute before the end of the game, with What's the Matter You leading 66 to nothing,
10:12Coach Canute took Bullwinkle out.
10:14Immediately, things were different.
10:18In the next 60 seconds, Tick-Tock-Tick scored 60 points.
10:21But then the final gun sounded.
10:23Bang!
10:24Well, a big upset like that didn't go unnoticed.
10:26Wow! Look what the newspapers say about the game, Rock.
10:29I don't see anything.
10:30Look down here.
10:31What's the Matter 66, Tick-Tock 60.
10:34The type's too small for me to read.
10:36But as the season progressed, the headlines got bigger and bigger.
10:40What's the Matter You, 90, barely normal, zero.
10:45What's the Matter 89, pretty polly, zero.
10:48What's the Matter 150, De Quoin's grammar school, zero.
10:54A little mix-up in the schedule there.
10:56What's the Matter was the only team in the nation which was undefeated and untied.
11:00Not untied, we're just a little loose, is all.
11:02But on television, every silver lining has a dark cloud, and our show is no different.
11:06For in a downtown bat cave in a large city,
11:09some professional gamblers were posting betting odds on next week's game.
11:14Oh boy, you see the odds on What's the Matter You, 200 to 1.
11:18Incredible.
11:19Well, Natasha, this is it.
11:21This is the time for me to turn over a new leaf.
11:23What?
11:24You know how I am, honey bun.
11:26Always destroying things, wrecking them, smashing them up.
11:30Yes.
11:31Well, now I'm going to do just the opposite of breaking things.
11:35You mean...
11:36Yes, I'm going to fix a game.
11:40And he's just the fixer to do it too.
11:42Oh, don't fail to see Wager at Dawn or Early to Bet.
11:48Well, the latest sensation of the sports pages these days is What's the Matter You,
11:51and it's forward passing phenom, Bullwinkle Moose.
11:55Look, Natasha, 200 to 1.
11:57Some score, darling.
11:59Score nothing.
12:00Those are the betting odds on What's the Matter You.
12:04Boris, why are you smiling that sneaky little smile?
12:07I know Moose can throw passes.
12:09I wonder if he could throw a whole game.
12:11Meanwhile, it wasn't all cleats and shoulder pads for our heroes.
12:14Eager to make good grades, they really had to burn the midnight oil.
12:17How come we're burning the midnight oil, Rock?
12:19They turn off the electricity at 10 o'clock.
12:22Oh.
12:23Knit 1, purl 2, knit 2, purl 1, knit 1, purl 2.
12:25What are you doing, Bullwinkle?
12:27Studying for a test.
12:28In what?
12:29My toughest class, advanced crocheting.
12:31Knit 1, knit 2, purl 1, purl 2.
12:33Yeah, but why so fast?
12:34I'm cramming.
12:35Not that life at What's the Matter You was all work and no play.
12:39There were lots of typical collegiate good fellowship and hijinks.
12:42Howdy, fellers.
12:43How about seeing how many of us can pile into a phone booth?
12:46I don't think we've met, old boy.
12:48I know, but how about some typical collegiate good fellowship and hijinks?
12:52We can all go over to my place and swallow goldfish.
12:54But...
12:55There's enough for everybody.
12:56I just got my allowance.
12:58You must be insane.
12:59Come on, chaps.
13:00We're all going over to pick at Norman Mailer at the student union.
13:04Gee, Bullwinkle.
13:06What am I going to do with 300 goldfish?
13:08Why don't you...
13:09Although Bullwinkle didn't know it, he had an even more serious problem.
13:12Well, Natasha, it's great to be back on the campus.
13:15Back?
13:16Boris, you went to college?
13:18Penn State?
13:19No, State Penn.
13:22But how are we going to convince Moose he should lose a football game?
13:26We got secret weapon, honey bun.
13:28Oh, I love secrets.
13:30Let's see.
13:31Here is secret weapon.
13:34Boris, it's me.
13:36And thus it was that next day when Bullwinkle and Rocky left the practice field,
13:39they were confronted by a weeping figure.
13:42Boo-hoo-hoo.
13:44Hold it, Bullwinkle.
13:45That sounds like a lady in distress.
13:47So?
13:48Gee, didn't you ever read the hero's handbook?
13:51I can never get past the picture of General MacArthur on the cover.
13:54Well, chapter two says we should always help ladies in distress.
13:59Hi there, lady.
14:00Are you in distress?
14:02This dress, that dress.
14:03Who cares?
14:04I'm distraught.
14:05Do we help ladies in distraught?
14:07What's the trouble?
14:08It's about next Saturday's game.
14:10With Hard Knocks College?
14:12Don't worry.
14:13We'll mobilize them.
14:14That's just it.
14:15My little brother is on that team.
14:17Your brother?
14:19Crazy Legs Kalbfuss.
14:21And if Hard Knocks doesn't win Saturday, they'll throw him off the team.
14:26Gee.
14:27They'll take away his sweater.
14:29And it's turning cool, too.
14:31They won't even let him watch American Bandstand.
14:34Is there no pity anywhere?
14:37So, your great, big, wonderful moose.
14:41That's me, all right.
14:42Maybe you could see to it that Hard Knocks wins next Saturday.
14:46Why not?
14:47Bo Winkle, you can't do that.
14:49I'm supposed to help ladies in distress.
14:51But chapter three says you never throw a game.
14:54Well.
14:56You read your chapter, I'll read mine.
14:59What was that you called me, missy?
15:00A great, big, wonderful schnook.
15:04Sounds different this time.
15:05Well, has Bo Winkle fallen prey to Boris and Natasha's vile scheme so quickly?
15:10Be with us next time for Standing Room Only, or Bo Winkle sells out.
15:17Well, well, the Wassamatta U football team continues to roll like a juggernaut over its opponents.
15:21Sparked by the flashy passing combination of Rocky Squirrel and Bo Winkle Moose.
15:25Billy!
15:26Oop!
15:28But Boris Baranov, against all common sense, is betting heavily against Wassamatta.
15:32Put all this on Hard Knocks College next Saturday.
15:35On Hard Knocks?
15:37Fellas, take off your hats.
15:39It ain't often we see such touching, childlike faith.
15:43Mister, you got our sympathy.
15:45Put your hats back on.
15:47I also got a fiendish plan.
15:49And what a plan it was.
15:50Natasha, disguised as a forlorn co-ed named Miriam Calvis,
15:54convinced Bo Winkle that her brother was on the Hard Knocks football eleven.
15:58And if they don't win, he'll be thrown off the team.
16:01Never fear, Miriam, dear.
16:03Oh, poetry.
16:05Isn't it, though?
16:06And what's more, curfew shall not ring tonight.
16:08What's that mean?
16:10I don't know, but it sure sounds impressive.
16:12Bo Winkle, I don't think she even has a brother.
16:15Yeah, but she sure has long eyelashes.
16:17I think she's trying to trick you.
16:19Rock, I'm surprised.
16:20If she does have a football player for a brother, where is he?
16:24Where is this crazy-legs Calvis?
16:26You called?
16:28You crazy-legs Calvis.
16:30Just look.
16:31Crazy legs, all right.
16:32Well, that did it.
16:33The following Saturday, Bo Winkle just wasn't playing his usual game.
16:36At the end of three quarters, the score was still nothing to nothing.
16:40Boo!
16:42Bo Winkle, you fumbled!
16:44I bet those eyelashes are two inches long.
16:46As a matter of fact, the only reason Hard Knocks hadn't scored
16:49was that they were almost as bad a team as what am I to you?
16:52Two, seven, hike.
16:56Bo Winkle, you missed him.
16:58Go on, Whizzer, you're in the clear.
17:00And he was too, but unfortunately, in donning his uniform,
17:03Whizzer Black had inadvertently tied together the laces of his right and left shoes.
17:07As a result...
17:09Boy, that's a lucky break.
17:11Eyelashes must be three inches long.
17:13Hey, you know who we haven't seen on the field yet?
17:16Among others, Prince Suvala Fuma.
17:18Non, Crazy Legs Kalfus.
17:20Probably saving him for the last quarter.
17:22This is the last quarter.
17:24Maybe they're four inches long.
17:26What are?
17:27Miriam's eyelashes. See?
17:29Where?
17:30There in the end zone behind us.
17:31Sure enough, Miriam Kalfus.
17:33Or as we know her, Natasha Fatah.
17:35What's in the stands cheering for Hard Knocks?
17:37Kill the moose!
17:39And look who's beside her.
17:41Crazy Legs, it was a trick.
17:43Signals. One, two, three, hut!
17:47Oh, what a dirty guy.
17:48I'll get you, Crazy Legs.
17:50Bullwinkle, no! You're running the wrong way.
17:53Nobody can make a monkey's uncle out of Bullwinkle Jay.
17:56Oh, boy.
17:57You know, Boobie, I don't like the look in his eye.
18:00I told you moose had no sense of humor.
18:02Quick as a flash, Burra slipped out of his seat and disappeared into the crowd.
18:05Where'd he go?
18:06Bullwinkle, look out!
18:08Yes, by now the mighty moose stood at the one foot line,
18:10just 12 inches away from scoring the winning goal for his opponents.
18:13The Hard Knocks players struggle closer.
18:15Jay Day's football fields are long.
18:18Burras was still ducking through the crowd.
18:20And where?
18:21Clear at the other end of the field,
18:22the Hard Knocks players leaped on Bullwinkle to drive him over the goal line.
18:25And at that moment, the referee raised his gun to signal the end of the game.
18:29Boy, we've had everything in this episode but the kitchen sink.
18:33What do you think this is?
18:35Well, is Wassam out of you?
18:37Doomed to its first defeat?
18:38We'll find out in our next excitement-riddled episode,
18:41Bullwinkle Scores Again, or Fool's Goal.
18:47Well, in our last episode, Bullwinkle was just about to make football history at Wassam out of you.
18:51He's heading for the wrong goal.
18:53Right. For in the stands, Bullwinkle had spotted Crazy Legs Cobfoot.
18:56Doggone Crazy Legs.
18:58Here I'd been taking it easy so he wouldn't get thrown off the team.
19:01Now I find out he's not even on it.
19:04Where'd he go?
19:05And Bullwinkle stopped just one foot short of the wrong goal line
19:08with a herd of tacklers coming after him.
19:10But just then...
19:12Bye-bye, birdbrain.
19:14Yes, Boris popped into sight clear at the other end of the stadium.
19:17Oh, bastard.
19:19Things had happened fast and furious.
19:21I'm fast and he's furious.
19:23So angry was Bullwinkle that he looked around for something to throw at the fleeting Boris.
19:26There was only one thing handy, the football.
19:28He hurled it just as he was hit by a cloud of tacklers.
19:32The ball zoomed over the heads of the astonished players.
19:34It was clearly headed right out of the stadium.
19:37But just as it reached the end zone, a furry streak intercepted it.
19:42It's a touchdown! We win! Yay!
19:49Ow!
19:50Is that the end, Boris?
19:52It's not my elbow, honeybun.
19:54Let that be a lesson to you, Bullwinkle.
19:56Always play your best game no matter what the provocation.
20:00Yeah, what the provocation, I always say.
20:03As a result of Bullwinkle's performance,
20:05Watsamata became the top-ranked team in the country.
20:07Their new stadium was packed every weekend with thousands of fans.
20:11Watsamata was making money hand over fist, over hand.
20:14Gentlemen, Bullwinkle Moose is the greatest football attraction since blue grain.
20:18Isn't that red grains, Chancellor?
20:21Let's not be controversial, Harkaby.
20:23Watsamata is in the black for the first time in history.
20:26At last we can afford to get some new teaching equipment.
20:29Yes, my world map is so old it still shows the Earth is flat.
20:32But nobody believes that.
20:34Our current event books say that McKinley is still president.
20:37And lots of people believe that.
20:39You mean he isn't?
20:40But now we can afford better teaching tools.
20:43Gentlemen, you must be mad.
20:45No new equipment?
20:47Of course, new athletic equipment.
20:49We can't afford to offend Coach Canute.
20:51And so in rapid succession, Watsamata built an indoor baseball diamond,
20:55a 97-room home for Coach Canute,
20:57and a pink marble field house shaped like the Taj Mahal.
21:00It's lovely by moonlight.
21:02How about another test tube for the physics lab?
21:05Ah, ah, ah, we got to draw the line somewhere.
21:08Besides, it's time to meet the latest addition to our faculty,
21:11the world's greatest mathematical genius,
21:13Dr. Isosceles Digit.
21:15Dr. Digit, are you here to start a new math department?
21:18Are you kidding, Jack?
21:20I'm here to figure out new football plays.
21:22And meanwhile, what of those two heels without soles,
21:24Boris and Natasha?
21:26Yes, what of us, darling?
21:27Natasha, there's only one way to fix the game and beat that idiot Moose.
21:31And that is?
21:32We got to get our own football team.
21:34And within a few days, Boris had assembled the meanest, toughest gang of rascals and rogues in the state,
21:39the Mud City Manglers.
21:41Look at them, Natasha.
21:42Must I, darling? I just had lunch.
21:44And wait till you meet the coach.
21:46Darling, who could be mean and cruel enough to coach this mob of killers?
21:50Who else?
21:51You don't mean...
21:54All right, team, a little pepper.
21:56Last man out of the huddle is the first man dead.
21:59Boris is fearless leader.
22:01Yeah, he's doing a guest shot in this sequence.
22:04A guest shot?
22:06There goes a guest now.
22:08Well, what a team this is for our heroes to face.
22:11Be sure to see our next episode, Rogues Gallery, or hold that line up.
22:17Well, it was a big day for Wassamata U when the chancellor said,
22:20Many colleges are de-emphasizing football. Wassamata will re-emphasize it.
22:25One of the college's first acts was to sign up the Frostbite Falls Flash,
22:28Bullwinkle Moose, who, aided by Rocky the Flying Squirrel, proceeded to decimate the opposition.
22:32No, no, we just beat the other teams.
22:34That's what the man said.
22:36Well, why don't he say what he says?
22:38But it looked like breakers ahead for Wassamata, for in a carefully guided hideout,
22:41Boris Baranov's Mud City Manglers were hard at work.
22:44They were a dreadful band of thugs and killers,
22:46coached by our own nemesis, fearless leader.
22:49And even he had to use a whip and a chair.
22:52All right, we'll try number 17.
22:55Hut, one, two, three.
22:58Uh-oh, Strangler fumbled the ball again.
23:01Yeah, I bet the coach gives him a light reprimand.
23:05I bet he gives him a severe reprimand.
23:10You were right, it was just a light reprimand.
23:13Yes, with a team of hard goons and criminals, fearless leader was at his best, or worst.
23:17I want all of you men to read the sign I'm posting in the locker room.
23:21Play carefully, the life you save may be your own.
23:25But of course, being villains had certain advantages too.
23:28Attention, tackle practice.
23:30I want you to tackle that dummy as if it were a Wassamata.
23:33You run up, go.
23:36Terrible.
23:38Awful.
23:42Fearless leader, all the sand is running out of the tackling dummy.
23:45All right, which one of you stabbed the tackling dummy in the back?
23:49It was me.
23:51You stabbed a defenseless dummy in the back?
23:54Yeah, one of it.
23:56Well, congratulations, my boy.
23:58You are my kind of folks.
24:00From now on, you're captain of the team.
24:03That's the way to talk, coach.
24:05When I want your approval, I'll ask for it.
24:07Yes, fearless leader.
24:09All right, I'm asking.
24:11Hooray!
24:12Meanwhile, in the chancellor's office at Wassamata U...
24:15Hey, you guys.
24:17Yes, coach Canute.
24:18I got a letter here from a team I never heard of.
24:21Challenging us to a game.
24:23What's the team?
24:25The Mud City Manglers.
24:26A challenge game?
24:29They'll pay us a thousand dollars.
24:32It's a deal.
24:34And so in a short while, the wire services were buzzing with the news...
24:37Mud City, never heard of them.
24:39Here's the picture of the team.
24:41How do they look?
24:42They sure got funny-looking helmets on.
24:44Helmets, nothing. That's hair.
24:46Bullwinkle, those are girls.
24:49Yes, to drive the odds even higher,
24:51the wily Boris had dressed his entire team in curly wigs and mini blouses.
24:54Bullwinkle, this is terrible.
24:56It is?
24:57What kind of game can you play with girls?
24:59Boy, this really is a children's show, isn't it?
25:02Parcheesi, of course.
25:04That photograph caused a sensation.
25:06Girls challenge nation's number one team.
25:09Dub, you turn to tackle Juggernaut.
25:11Little did the press of the nation know that the Mud City Manglers
25:14were a vicious gang of thieves, blackheads and unspeakable Turks.
25:17All right, girls, and I use the term loosely,
25:20time to check your equipment.
25:21Shoulder pads?
25:22Check.
25:23Spike shoes?
25:24Check.
25:25Poison for spikes?
25:26Check.
25:27Switchblade knives?
25:28Check.
25:29Brass knuckles?
25:30Check.
25:31Hand grenades?
25:32Check.
25:33Then we're ready.
25:34Just remember one thing.
25:35Yes?
25:36I want you to behave like ladies.
25:37Well, these are shady ladies indeed,
25:39and we'll see their fiendish plot unfold next time in Mailbags,
25:43or Homely of the Brave.
25:47Wassamata, hats off to you
25:50To thy colors, ochre and alice blue
25:54We will ever be faithful and true
25:57Hail, Wassamata, hail
25:59Better we should be in jail
26:01Hey, Wassamata, you
26:03The stirring strains of the college fight song
26:07herald the big game between Wassamata Yu
26:09and Boris Baranov's Mud City Manglers.
26:12But, gee, Rock, the Mud City Manglers are girls.
26:15They look awful big for girls.
26:17I guess football doesn't appeal to the petite ones.
26:19And on the way to the football field,
26:21Boris and Natasha dashed into an illegal betting parlor.
26:24Okay, Manny, what's the odds on the big conflict?
26:27World War III, 6 to 5 in Peckham.
26:30No, no, the Wassamata game.
26:32Oh, an unbeaten team playing a bunch of girls?
26:35500 to 1 on Wassamata.
26:37I'll just take me some of that.
26:39I'll bet all this on Mud City.
26:41And I'll bet all this.
26:43Fearless leader, where did you get all the loot?
26:45Bad enough, that is the entire contents
26:47of the Potsilvania treasury.
26:49You carry the treasury wherever you go?
26:51You don't think I'd leave it with those crooks
26:53in my government, do you?
26:55Who says you can't take it with you?
26:57All right, boys, you got a bet,
26:59but you're throwing your money away.
27:01I hope he's wrong and you're right, bad enough.
27:03Oh, I am, I am.
27:05Because there's something else I always carry around with me.
27:08A cheery smile?
27:10No, my own firing squad.
27:12Oh, boy. Natasha, we really got to make sure of this one.
27:15But, darling, we already got fiendish plans.
27:18We can't take chances.
27:19This time our fiendish plan will have a fiendish plan.
27:21And back in our hero's dormitory room...
27:23Come on, Boo-Wickle, it's time we left for the game.
27:26Just a sec, Rock. I'm still studying these new plays.
27:29Why? The only play you know is the forward pass.
27:32Besides, you're not the quarterback.
27:34No, I'm the all-back.
27:36Full-back.
27:37Yeah.
27:38Oh, if our boys only knew.
27:40For at that moment, the Wassamatta quarterback,
27:42Bob Waterbucket, was receiving a caller.
27:44I don't wear a collar. My neck's too big.
27:47Not a collar. A caller. A caller.
27:49Oh.
27:51Emergency telegram for Bob Waterbucket.
27:54That's me.
27:55Well, read it.
27:57It's got long words in it.
28:00Oh, very well.
28:01It says your aunt in Azusi fell down and broke her crown.
28:04You should rush right out there.
28:06But I can't. I gotta call the big game.
28:08In that case, here's another telegram.
28:10The president has just declared a national emergency.
28:13You're drafted.
28:14I'll get a deferment. I gotta call the big game.
28:17Oh, boy.
28:18In that case, here's my third and last emergency telegram.
28:21Nothing can stop me from calling that game.
28:23It's from a professional football team.
28:25They want to hire you for...
28:28You're not going to call the game?
28:29Sure. I'm calling it off.
28:31As a result of Waterbucket's sudden departure,
28:33Coach Rocky Canute had a tough decision to make.
28:36OK, Moose, you're quarterback.
28:38Boo!
28:39Aw, come on, fellas.
28:41Even the Moose should be able to beat a team of schoolgirls.
28:44But as we know, the Mud City Manglers are only disguised as girls.
28:47Actually, they're a tough bunch of thugs and plug-uglies.
28:50But, Bordy, suppose the Moose remembers all the plays.
28:53What plays? I got the only other copy of the diagrams here.
28:57Then what was Moose studying?
28:59The diagrams I substituted for them.
29:01Which were?
29:02For three weeks, the Moose has been studying battle plans for the Civil War.
29:06Well, it looks as if the South may rise again.
29:09Don't miss Mine Eyes Have Seen the Gory,
29:11or Moose is in the Coal-Coal Ground.
29:16Well, there's no turning back now.
29:18There really is going to be a game between the Mud City Manglers and the Wasamata U Pigeons.
29:22En plus, Bullwinkle est maintenant notre quartier.
29:24Et en plus, ce sont les diagrammes des jeux qu'on va jouer.
29:28Et en plus, c'est la mauvaise diagramme.
29:30Oui, Boris a changé les diagrammes,
29:32et le moindre Moose est maintenant en train de réfléchir aux plans de bataille de la Civil War.
29:36Ou comme nous l'appellons, la guerre entre les États.
29:39Attendez, qui êtes-vous?
29:40Colonel Jefferson Beauregard Leeser.
29:42Oui, mais tu n'es pas partie de notre histoire.
29:45Non, je suis de la Ligue des Correcteurs confédérés.
29:47La Ligue des Correcteurs confédérés?
29:49Chaque fois qu'un programme s'appelle à l'inconvénient de la Civil War.
29:54Vous vous présentez et le corrigez?
29:56C'est ça, Chuck. Nous appelons ça la guerre entre les États.
29:59Oui, mais...
30:00Je n'aborde pas le mot civil.
30:03En même temps, dans la salle de bain des Mud City Manglers...
30:05Rappelez-vous, si l'un de vos adversaires s'éloigne du terrain sous son propre pouvoir,
30:10cela signifie 20 couilles.
30:13D'accord, hommes, et j'utilise le terme légèrement, prenez le terrain.
30:17Les équipes se sont réunies et Wasamata a tiré sur les Manglers.
30:23Tout d'un coup, il y avait un bruit et quand ça s'est brûlé, personne n'avait la balle.
30:27Qui devrions-nous attaquer?
30:28Allez, qui d'entre vous a la balle?
30:30Qu'est-ce que tu penses que je suis, un loup?
30:32Tu l'as eu, mademoiselle!
30:33Et devant l'étonnant public, les Manglers se sont déplacés innocemment dans le terrain,
30:36au-delà des joueurs de Wasamata.
30:38Puis, quand ils ont atteint la ligne de but,
30:39l'un des scoundrels a tiré la balle déflétée de son mini-bloss.
30:43Touchdown!
30:44Touchdown!
30:47Touchdown!
30:48Any objections, wise guy?
30:51Miss, I'll thank you to keep a civil tongue in your head.
30:54Ah, ah, ah, a war between the states tongue.
30:57Oh, boy.
30:58Now, wait, Mr. Referee, did that really count six points?
31:02Well, of course not, Wacky, it...
31:04Oh, it counted seven points.
31:07Well, with the referee intimidated, the Manglers had it all their own way.
31:10Hop!
31:11Pass it, Bullwinkle!
31:13Pouf!
31:21Incomplete, incomplete.
31:22The pass?
31:23The ball.
31:24Are yous ready, Guy Truth?
31:26Let's have it, Sybil.
31:28Ah, ah, war between the...
31:29I said Sybil, not Sybil.
31:32Sorry, ma'am.
31:33Play the game, play the game!
31:35It was easier said than done.
31:37We're close enough to try a little field goal, Bullwinkle.
31:39Just kick it between the goal posts.
31:41Right, Rock.
31:42Hop!
31:44The kick looked good until two Manglers moved the goal posts.
31:47At this rate, we'll never win.
31:49We'll be lucky to lose.
31:50But on the next play...
31:54Bullwinkle, look at this.
31:55Good heavens, Rock, you've scalped the scat back.
31:58Scalped nothing, this is a wig.
32:00Bullwinkle, they aren't girls at all.
32:03Oh, darn.
32:04What's the matter?
32:05I was going to ask the halfback to the prom tonight.
32:07Well, anyway, it's our ball.
32:09Yeah, but look at that defensive line.
32:11Hokey smoke, they've dug trenches.
32:13And they've all got guns.
32:14Mr. Referee, how about calling a penalty?
32:17Oh, I will, Rocky.
32:19Five yards against Wasemade for delaying the game.
32:22Don't you have any courage?
32:24Yes, but I've also got a wife and kitties.
32:26And with the score seven to nothing,
32:28the hands of the clock crept closer to defeat for our boys
32:30and triumph for Boris Baranov.
32:32Don't miss our next episode,
32:34Bullwinkle's Battle Plans or Sybil def...
32:37Ah, ah, ah, War Between the States defense.
32:41That is not funny.
32:42Ah, no, I can't abide jokes neither.
32:46In our last episode, you remember,
32:48Wasemade's football future looked very dim.
32:50First, Boris Baranov's mud city manglers had intimidated the referee.
32:53Intimidated, heck, I'm terrified.
32:55Then they had turned their defensive game into trench warfare,
32:58complete with barbed wire and gun emplacements.
33:00And to make matters even worse,
33:01Boris had stolen all of Wasemade's plays.
33:04Natasha, now I think I'll take up smoking cigars.
33:07Why now?
33:08So I can light one with these football plays.
33:10Other people use a hundred dollar bill, darling.
33:13Right now, these are worth a million.
33:15Yes, they were, for Boris had made hundreds of bets on the game
33:18in illegal gambling joints all over the nation.
33:20Hey, Manny, it looks like that girl's team is gonna beat Wasemade, you.
33:24Don't worry, lefty, I'm prepared.
33:26You're gonna pay off?
33:27You're kidding? You see that emergency box on the wall?
33:31In case of disaster, break glass.
33:33What's inside, money?
33:34Nope, a one-way ticket to Brazil.
33:36At that moment, the referee raised his pistol
33:38to signify the end of the first half.
33:43Lying flat on the ground, our heroes were safe momentarily,
33:45but the spectators in the end zone didn't make out as well.
33:48Manny, the mud city manglers just shot away the end of the stadium,
33:52what do you say to that?
33:54Adios, amigos.
33:59When our heroes finally made it under fire to their dressing room,
34:01gloom was written on every face.
34:03Except mine, I got despair written on mine.
34:06If only they hadn't stolen our football plays.
34:09Well, they left these in their place.
34:11Bowinkle, those aren't football plays,
34:13those are battle plans for the civil war.
34:15War between the states, you mean?
34:18Colonel Beauregard, you hear?
34:20Us members of the League of Confederate Correctors is everywhere.
34:23I've noticed.
34:24I just can't abide the word civil.
34:27Well, here, maybe you'd like to have these plans.
34:31My pleasure.
34:32Ah, Chancellorsville.
34:34There was a battle.
34:35What a cavalry charge.
34:37Looks more like an end run to me.
34:39Bowinkle, that's it.
34:40If the manglers are going to use battle tactics on the gridiron,
34:43why can't we?
34:44Why can't we?
34:45Bowinkle, you've done it again.
34:47Come up with a brilliant plan like that.
34:49Yes, sir.
34:50Now, there's just that one little question.
34:52Yeah?
34:53What is it?
34:54This is the plan.
34:55Instead of football plays, we're going to use the battle plans of the...
35:00I was going to say war between the states.
35:02Us Confederate Correctors can never be too sure.
35:05And so, when the whistle blew for the second half of the game,
35:07it was a strange-looking team that emerged from the Wasamata U dressing room.
35:11Look at them fellas, Roof.
35:13They're going to fight the war all over again.
35:16Shucks, we southerners have been doing that for years.
35:19The ball was snapped and Bowinkle commanded.
35:21By the right flank, ho!
35:25Well, the game started up again,
35:26but this time the Mud City Manglers were no match for the military genius
35:29and the flower of the Confederacy.
35:31In one great flanking motion, the Wasamata team turned the end of the line
35:34and swept down the field.
35:36Bowinkle, you did it.
35:38There's the goal, just ahead.
35:41Bowinkle, why are you stopping?
35:43Which direction are we running in, Corporal?
35:46Well, south, of course.
35:47South, eh? I thought so.
35:49These plans call for us to go north.
35:51And Bowinkle turned and began dashing toward his own goal line.
35:54On he went, swivel-hipping his way through the opposition.
35:57Dagnabbit, you said civil.
36:00All right, war between the states, hipping his way through the opposition.
36:03Oh, what can save the game for our boys?
36:06Maybe we could get some new writers.
36:08Don't miss our next hysterical, historical episode,
36:10Bowinkle Buys a Fence, or Pickets Charge.
36:20That loud wailing noise you hear is the sobbing of thousands of bookmakers
36:23all over the country.
36:24For every one of these illegal gamblers
36:26bet that unbeaten Wasamata U would trounce a girls' team
36:29known as the Mud City Manglers.
36:31Little realizing that the Manglers were owned by Boris Baranov
36:34and had been coached by Fearless Leader himself.
36:37Hold that line, fellows.
36:38Oh, they won't retreat, Baranov.
36:40How can you be sure?
36:41The second team is right behind them, with bayonets.
36:47What?
36:48See?
36:49The hapless bookies watched as the Manglers held Wasamata U's corners
36:52for the first half.
36:54I'll never make another bet again as long as I live.
36:57Three to one, you do.
36:58You're on.
36:59You lose.
37:00Things looked a little brighter for our boys
37:02when Rocky decided to play the game according to some old battle plans
37:05of the war between the states.
37:07Now you're talking, Yankee.
37:09But even this idea backfired
37:11when Bowinkle decided to take the plan seriously.
37:14But Bowinkle...
37:15Cuddle moose to you, Corporal.
37:17What direction are we heading?
37:19South.
37:20You mean south?
37:21South, so what?
37:22The sheer plan says we march north.
37:24North it is.
37:25And with flags flying, Bowinkle began running toward his own goal line.
37:28Again?
37:30Disaster was imminent,
37:31but as fate would have it, the clock suddenly marked the end of the quarter.
37:35What's the trouble?
37:37Now the teams change goals.
37:39Moose is now running in the right direction.
37:41Yes, at that moment, Bowinkle dashed into the end zone for a touchdown.
37:45Hooray!
37:46That's six points!
37:48But the referee, who was under some pressure, decided...
37:51No, only three points.
37:53Hooray!
37:54It's a handicap. After all, you're playing an all-girl team.
37:58Youse wouldn't want to take advantage of a lady, would you?
38:01But you're not a lady!
38:03Sir, Youse is a cat.
38:08Penalty on the play.
38:10About time.
38:11How many yards do we get?
38:12Get? I'm penalizing Wasimata 30 yards.
38:15Insulting a lady.
38:16Yeah, but that puts us behind our own goal line.
38:19That's a touchback.
38:20Right. Three points for Mud City.
38:22Three points?
38:23They get an extra point for being girls.
38:26Bowinkle, we can't win.
38:28That's the general idea, Squirtle.
38:30And who are you?
38:31I'm the leader of the all-girl team.
38:33You are?
38:34I'm the field spitalny of the grid aisle.
38:36Yeah, but those aren't really girls.
38:38I know that. You know that.
38:40But does the referee know that?
38:42Do you know that?
38:43All I know is this fella behind me has a gun aimed right at my 50-yard line.
38:48Bowinkle, that fella's intimidating a referee.
38:51Not very well. He doesn't look like one at all.
38:53No, I mean he's threatening that poor little guy's life.
38:56Well, that does it, Rock. Now my dandruff is up.
38:59Give me those battle plans. Ladies or no ladies, this is war.
39:03And it was.
39:06In the next ten minutes, Wasimata, you'll replay the entire last two years of the Civil War.
39:11War between the states.
39:12And this time, the South won.
39:14In that case, you can call it the Civil War.
39:17Yes, just before the final gun sounded, Rocky flashed into the clear.
39:24And zoomed for the goal line.
39:25Bowinkle, pass it to me.
39:27Ollie!
39:28Ah, but that was the moment Boris Baranov had been waiting for.
39:31He quickly seized a large rock, painted it to look like a football,
39:34and hurled it right at the unsuspecting Squirtle.
39:37Oh, don't miss our next heart-stopping episode,
39:40A Rock for Rock, or To Each His Stone.
39:46In our last quarter of the episode,
39:48our heroes were right on the verge of winning their game with the Hudson Manglers,
39:52or losing it, as the case may be.
39:55For Rocky the Flying Squirtle had just zoomed into the clear of the goal line,
39:59and shouted back at Bowinkle...
40:01The forward pass, Bowinkle! Ollie!
40:04Oop! But the oop had come from Boris Baranov,
40:07who had thrown not a football, but a cleverly disguised rock.
40:10Would you like a nice Squirtle coat, fearless leader?
40:13You got one bad enough?
40:15No, but I know somebody who won't be needing one in a minute.
40:18But let us stop everything right here,
40:20and change our scene to an emergency meeting of the Bookmakers and Gamblers Protective Association.
40:25Fellow bookies, I would like to take advantage of this brief moment
40:28to remind you of our untenable position.
40:31A what?
40:32A lousy setup.
40:33Oh.
40:34Look, the Squirtle is going to get clobbered, right?
40:36Right.
40:37Now if he loses the game, we gotta pay off the bad enough, right?
40:40Right.
40:41Wrong. There ain't enough money in the world to pay off at the odds we gave him.
40:45So what do we do, skip town?
40:47Would I suggest a cheap trick like skipping town?
40:49Sorry, Mickey.
40:50I suggest we skip the country.
40:52Yeah, where do we go?
40:54Yeah, who'd want crooks like us?
40:56Follow me, boys. I know a country that'll take anybody.
40:59But the villains had reckoned without the keen eyes and instant reflexes of our furry hero.
41:04Ok, Smokes, that's not a football!
41:06And Ruggie swiftly zipped to one side.
41:08The heavy stone passed him and plummeted right for the timid referee,
41:11who still had a gun held at his back by one of Boris' thugs.
41:14Duck! Duck!
41:15Hey, what's he mean, duck, duck?
41:17Maybe there's a flock of them coming over.
41:19Hey, that ain't no flock of ducks. That's a...
41:24But where's Bullwinkle?
41:25You cold?
41:26Yes, out of the pall and smoke and flame that covered the gridiron galloped Bullwinkle Moose,
41:31the football dangling from his antlers.
41:33Quick, Bullwinkle, there's only a few seconds left.
41:36Now, what do we do, Badenov?
41:37Relax, fearless leader.
41:39Relax?
41:40Shoo, Mike. Look at this diagram of the end zone.
41:42Hmm, what are the circles?
41:44Landmines. I've mined the whole end zone.
41:47Explosive landmines in a football field?
41:50Badenov, that's a rotten thing to do.
41:52I just knew you would like it, fearless leader.
41:55Boris, I like to have you around. You're my kind of folks.
41:59Could I call you F.L.?
42:01I'm on my way up, Boris, and I'm going to take you with me.
42:04But alas, for the villain's plans, Bullwinkle dashed into the end zone,
42:07turned and galloped all the way across it, and didn't step on one mine.
42:11Touchdown!
42:14Six points!
42:15Wasamata wins!
42:18So, you had landmines in the end zone, eh, Badenov?
42:22I can't understand it, fearless leader. I could swear I had one right.
42:26And you were right, fearless leader. You're on the way up, and I'm going with you.
42:32And so, Wasamata, you finished its season unbeaten.
42:36Only one fly in the ointment, Bullwinkle.
42:39Well, that's about par for ointment. What is it?
42:41I didn't like all those gamblers escaping to some other country.
42:44Ah, if Rocky had only known the Bucky's boat was even then approaching its destination.
42:49Well, there it is, man. Potsylvania.
42:52And look, there's a reception committee to meet us.
42:56Hey, Charlie, if I ever get you ten, we goofed.
42:59Bet heavily, Schweinhund. It's a sure thing.
43:02And so we come to the end of another fun-filled episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle.
43:07You know, Rock, he sure got some funny ideas about fun.
43:23To see what you have been missing, go to archive.org and search for Gyro Screw Loose.
43:30And I'll see you there.