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00:00When I was still married to Cody, Nancy, our therapist, told me to make a list of qualities
00:12that I was looking for in a husband that was super important to me.
00:15And it was like a good communicator, someone who was going to be present in my life, someone
00:20who wanted to be around my children, someone who was attracted to me, just a list of things.
00:25And Cody wasn't any of the things on the list.
00:31I told him the list, and he's like, I'm not any of those things for you.
00:35I said, no, you're not.
00:40Dave and I have been dating for about a month, and he's awesome.
00:43He loves family.
00:44Family is his most important thing to him.
00:46He's owned his own drywall business.
00:48He has a reputation of being honest and real with people, and he's really a great communicator.
00:59Hi, baby.
01:01Can I come in?
01:05Hi.
01:06I would like you to meet David.
01:09Ta-da!
01:10My boyfriend.
01:11Isn't that the dumbest word?
01:12Boyfriend?
01:13We're adults, so I feel like love of my life, but that really is a lot.
01:20This is David.
01:21I'm your burrito.
01:22Okay.
01:23That's probably inappropriate.
01:24Soulmate.
01:25Yeah, definitely soulmate.
01:26Soulmate.
01:27Yeah.
01:28Unicorn.
01:29You're my unicorn.
01:30Yeah.
01:31Thanks, babe.
01:32My name is David.
01:33I am from Salt Lake.
01:36I have eight kids, and my wife passed away about 12 years ago, started dating, and gave
01:41up about eight years into it, and then three years afterwards, she messaged me on a message
01:48on a date site, and here we are.
01:54Third date, I was like, are you going to friend zone me?
01:58You didn't kiss me and blah, blah, blah.
01:59Yeah, you're aggressive.
02:00Like, boom.
02:01We're on a date, wanted a kiss.
02:05Like you didn't kiss me on the second date.
02:06Or you're desperate for some affection.
02:11I was.
02:12Okay.
02:13Specifically from you, though.
02:14Okay?
02:15Yes.
02:16The lights are pretty.
02:17They are pretty.
02:18So are you.
02:20And I'm like, well, what?
02:21I mean, you didn't kiss me on our first date, so I'm like, you know.
02:22No.
02:23First, second, no.
02:24Third date, it was a make-out session.
02:25You don't need to go that far.
02:26I'm sorry.
02:27I'm sorry.
02:28I'm sorry.
02:29I'm sorry.
02:30I'm sorry.
02:31I'm sorry.
02:32I'm sorry.
02:33I'm sorry.
02:34I'm sorry.
02:35I'm sorry.
02:36I'm sorry.
02:37I'm sorry.
02:38I'm sorry.
02:39I'm sorry.
02:40I'm sorry.
02:41I'm sorry.
02:42You're really, really special to me.
02:43I know.
02:44Someone told me that when I least expect, I'll find that person, and they're so right.
02:51I wish I left after one week.
02:54You, however, you are fast.
02:58No, when you see something good, see how well you are with your kids, I love it.
03:04Everything about you, I like your craziness, I like everything about you.
03:09You're just, you're perfect for me.
03:12Your eyes are what gaunt me first.
03:15I remember you saying that.
03:16Oh no.
03:17Why do you like your eyes?
03:18♪♪
03:32What's going on with you?
03:34Oh, I'll be up in Paraguay.
03:37So are you going to move there and live there?
03:39I am now.
03:41I mean, we had that discussion about where our relationship is at.
03:47After you made it very clear that you weren't interested in working on a relationship with me.
03:54Well, don't blame me for not loving you. I was doing my duty.
03:57Blame yourself if I don't love you, okay?
04:00When I'm in love with a woman, that's her fault.
04:07So what happens if I'm not in love with a woman? Is that just my fault?
04:13If I'm mad about a woman, passionate, want to serve her, want to rub her feet, want to carry in her groceries.
04:22If I'm in love, if I want to buy her jewelry, if I want her to feel special all the time.
04:28If I'm in love with a woman, I think that is her fault.
04:34I'm not placing blame. All I did was acknowledge the fact that he told me he was not interested in working on a relationship.
04:41You want me to own it that much?
04:43I'm not saying anything about owning anything.
04:46I didn't say I wasn't interested in working on it. I did say I didn't want, I could fake through it.
04:52Yeah, I'm not interested in faking a relationship.
04:55But that's not me saying I can't work on it. You're trying to make me own it.
04:59That's really not where this works.
05:01We're having a fight here. I did not know that this was a fight conversation because I'm not open to that.
05:06It's not.
05:07I'll shut it down right now if it's a fight.
05:09It's an accountability conversation that we agree mutually that the relationship isn't going to progress.
05:16You're right. We did.
05:17Okay.
05:23You had a part in it. I had a part in it. I took the steps and we're done.
05:29Moving on? Moving forward together?
05:36There's no moving forward together.
05:38Right.
05:42I used to hang out with Mary and Cody before I even married Cody.
05:45And they always were just goofy together.
05:48They had their arguments for sure.
05:51We were in it for the long haul. We were figuring it out.
05:55And there was a lot of emotional growth, I think, that came from all of us trying to figure out how to work with family around all the different personalities.
06:02The breakdown of mine and Cody's relationship is definitely not all on him because I definitely had my part in it.
06:08And I don't think that he likes to see that he failed.
06:14But if you didn't want to fail, maybe you shouldn't have married the wrong person one or two or three times.
06:22Nobody won here.
06:27I never would have thought we would be here.
06:29Yeah, me either.
06:32I got a special phone call from a special person.
06:35I got a call from the church.
06:37They said they'd give Mary a release, a divorce on account of abandonment.
06:41I just don't believe that that's true at all. She was never abandoned.
06:45He knew it was happening. He could have been involved.
06:48He could have gone to the meeting with me.
06:52I know that they use the words abandonment, and he really didn't like that.
06:59Most people don't like what is truth.
07:09Why'd you move so quickly on it then?
07:11Quickly?
07:14It's interesting that you're saying that it's quickly.
07:16This has been a long, long, slow and painful process.
07:20I married you in 1990 because I was committed to it, and I loved you.
07:25Basically, the statements are all of this.
07:29You can choose, but I cannot.
07:32I... Who said that?
07:34When I was called and told about our...
07:36Termination.
07:37Termination.
07:38That's bull...
07:41Well...
07:42That is so not fair to me, and that is so not fair to you.
07:45I agree.
07:46I would have rather you have told me, Cody, years ago.
07:51I felt compelled to always stick it out with Mary, even though the relationship was terrible.
07:56I remember when Sonny and Cher got divorced when I was six, and it rattled me.
08:02I do not know why I'm still holding on a little bit, because I know damn well that I don't want to be in this relationship.
08:15And I know damn well that I don't want to be in a relationship with Janelle.
08:21And I know that Christine did me a favor by being brave enough to leave.
08:34Had I wanted to leave sooner, I would have left sooner.
08:38You don't know you're in a bad relationship.
08:40You just think you're in a normal relationship.
08:42Some people call it F and F, and the second word is fight.
08:45That doesn't create intimacy.
08:47That just creates orgasms.
08:57I'm not going to offer him a lot of information.
09:00With me, with Christine, with Janelle, you know, they've left him.
09:05They've separated their relationships.
09:07Like, they're going to have lives that he doesn't need to know about.
09:12I think that realization is going to be a little bit hard for him.
09:16Listen, it's confusing from day one.
09:19That's sad to me that our relationship was so confusing.
09:23That our relationship was so confusing after the first year, the second year, the fourth year, or whatever.
09:28I wish I wouldn't have ever married her.
09:32I married a woman that I just didn't love so much that I wanted to serve her.
09:41And then because whatever I did was never enough.
09:49This marriage was on the rocks, the entire marriage.
09:55And how would I know that?
09:58Because I had such a better relationship with Janelle, with Christine, with Robin.
10:08And Janelle and Christine didn't survive.
10:13I should have gotten out of the relationship 25 years ago.
10:18I don't know who this guy is.
10:20To say the things that he's saying now, this is not the guy that we were married to.
10:27I wish you would have made your choice sooner.
10:30My choice was always to stay.
10:32Had I wanted to leave sooner, I would have left sooner.
10:37You don't get to be in plural marriage with a leadership.
10:40Leadership will never allow you to marry again if you're discarding wives.
10:44Well, I was in terrible relationships but wasn't willing to discard them, didn't want to discard them.
10:51Didn't even know I was in terrible relationships.
10:53You don't know you're in a bad relationship.
10:55You just think you're in a normal relationship.
10:57Because all your friends have the same problem.
10:59Until you're in a normal relationship that has deep emotional intimacy instead of the...
11:09Some people call it F&F and the second word is fight.
11:13Or F&F and the first word is fight.
11:17That doesn't create intimacy, that just creates orgasms.
11:22You know what really sucks?
11:23It's not divorce that sucks, it's marrying the wrong person.
11:26Because you don't know.
11:36Wow, okay.
11:37Because you married me at six months, you married the wrong person and you just didn't know.
11:42I'm not even saying that, Mary.
11:43That's what it sounds like.
11:44We're breaking up now, does it mean it was the right person?
11:46Or was just right at the right time?
11:48I don't know, I can't philosophize this.
11:50We could philosophize it to death.
11:52All I know is that you and I have different time stamps on when we weren't happy anymore.
12:00What sucks is marrying the wrong person and not having the decency to tell her until 32 years later.
12:19I'm just excited to be with somebody.
12:22There's no threats of anybody else.
12:25It's just me.
12:26Isn't that weird to think of polygamy as a threat and the other women as a threat to your relationship?
12:33Remember how I told you my biggest thing on New Year's Eve was to have somebody to kiss?
12:38Because we all just did it together and you don't really have someone to kiss on New Year's Eve.
12:43Nothing wrong with being affectionate, nothing wrong at all.
12:46Cody and I never really were affectionate.
12:48Even when we were just together, with the two of us, we really weren't that much.
12:53Not like we are.
12:55Not like we are.
12:56No, we're not at all.
12:57Oh my God.
12:59All the time.
13:01I love it, thank you.
13:03I didn't know I liked being affectionate so much.
13:06I felt like Cody and Robin were soulmates.
13:08I feel like today they are soulmates.
13:12And just like last week, I realized, oh, this is how soulmates feel.
13:20Okay, now I know why Cody really wants to be over at Robin's house all the time.
13:25This is how they feel.
13:26Of course, I would never want to leave David.
13:28I would not want to go stay somewhere else.
13:32If a polygamist were to find a soulmate and have a soulmate relationship with one of their wives,
13:39I don't know what that looks like for their family.
13:42Because how can he have a good relationship with his other wives if he has a soulmate relationship with one of them?
13:50I really do care for you.
13:52You're a lot of fun.
13:53I'm excited.
13:56I'm a little nervous, a little scared about where it's going, but I'm good for it.
13:59I'm 100% on.
14:01Me too.
14:02Because you're too good to be true.
14:04It's true.
14:06It's a little scary.
14:07It's a little scary because you're too good to be true.
14:09It's because it's too good to be true, right?
14:11Yes.
14:12That's why it's scary.
14:13Yep.
14:14How can we be soulmates so fast?
14:17We just clicked.
14:18It was just something there.
14:19Scary.
14:20It was just, I knew it was real.
14:23You know, the second time I seen you, I really care a lot about you.
14:28God, I love you.
14:30So I'm excited to where this is going to be going to.
14:33I'm really excited.
14:35We are moving fast, but we're not going to slow down.
14:47I'm in a really good place.
14:51I feel very peaceful about our situation.
14:55He doesn't.
14:57Some of the things that he's saying are really, really, really mean.
15:03He clearly has a lot of internal that he still needs to work on here.
15:10Where we are now is I actually like you.
15:16Now.
15:17Gods be praised.
15:18Well, I didn't for six years at all.
15:22I was trying to be.
15:23I think it was more than that.
15:25Be honest with yourself.
15:26No, I wasn't just, I don't even know.
15:29But it's like move from that point to get to the right place.
15:33I have no idea.
15:35I'm not going to go hang out at Christmas.
15:39I'm not your wife anymore.
15:42I do have a wife who says that Mary is our family and you need to have her come over for Christmas.
15:53I normally just disregard her opinion.
15:57No, you don't.
15:58Oh, yes, I do.
16:02Really? You don't know me if you think that I'm not a man of my own mind.
16:06I know you're a man of your own mind.
16:08I also know you take into consideration people's opinions.
16:13I don't know how we define ourselves with each other from here.
16:17We're exes.
16:19Let's be real.
16:20You don't need to worry about me.
16:25Okay.
16:26I just wish you knew how amazing of a person I really am.
16:34I don't want any more enemies and I don't want another loss.
16:38I mean, bon voyage.
16:40I just, happy life, happy journey.
16:42I don't know what to say besides that, Mary.
16:45I just hope that in the future Mary will call me when she's got something fun to share.
16:50I'm embarrassed that my other divorces have created contempt and contemptuous enemies.
17:04Yeah, I'm sad about that.
17:07We'll see.
17:08I just do not know what the future holds here.
17:13Next time on Sister Wives.
17:15So when we married in our church, it's not a big deal.
17:18Like, I didn't even have a dress.
17:20My wedding day and my reception was not about me.
17:25And stop.
17:26Perfect.
17:27He said what he wanted to do and he done it.
17:30He's so amazing.
17:31We're going to grow up now and put on a smiley face.
17:35Okay, well great. I hear you guys are engaged.
17:37Not engaged yet.
17:39It's the end of January.
17:41We met the beginning of December.
17:42It is moving extremely fast.
17:45Faster than I think I would like.
17:48That would be so cool to have a wedding here.
17:50Amen.