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Video Information: Shastra Kaumudi Live, 20.12.2018, Advait BodhSthal, Noida, India
Context:
~ What is self-love?
~ What is the Love that saints sing of?
~ Is love that saints sing of different from self-love?
~ How love helps in the path of liberation?
~ What is the difference between self-love and spiritual love?
~ How to live selflessly?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...
Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books?
Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...
Read 3 handpicked wisdom articles, just for you: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/articl...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Video Information: Shastra Kaumudi Live, 20.12.2018, Advait BodhSthal, Noida, India
Context:
~ What is self-love?
~ What is the Love that saints sing of?
~ Is love that saints sing of different from self-love?
~ How love helps in the path of liberation?
~ What is the difference between self-love and spiritual love?
~ How to live selflessly?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00What does Love mean to you, and what does it mean to me?
00:08Jai Ji, you told us about Love, about that crawler that looks up to the sky,
00:15and this word Love, we have heard it, read it a lot of time in various sacred texts,
00:22and it leaves us perplexed because
00:24there is some talk of Love as something that has been passing through generations
00:33and eventually turns or ends into marriage, a bond of two people.
00:42Then there are those who talk of self-love and self-respect,
00:50no, my life, my rules.
00:53Then there are the Bhakti saints who have talked of Love, of longing.
01:00So, there is this question by Dori Febri for Montreal.
01:07He says that, I want to know this Love that the saints talk of.
01:12Is it a feeling that one comes to, or is it permanent?
01:17Because I have been badly disappointed by the social Love,
01:21and even if I claim that it is 100% false, I still get attached to it.
01:30And the self-love doesn't really help me within the moments of agitation,
01:34or really doesn't give me any direction.
01:36So, what is this longing that Kabir Sahib is talking of?
01:40You seem quite experienced, Dori, in matters of social Love.
01:45So, I probably need not say much about it.
02:04What is this Love that saints sing of?
02:07You'll have to come out and give yourself a chance to fall in real Love.
02:29Because it is not something that can be known through
02:33prior experience, or books, or the narrative of others.
02:46So, you will not be able to recognize it when it happens.
02:55To recognize something, it is important that you must have had an earlier experience of it.
03:04If you've never seen a handkerchief, it would be very difficult for you to come across this
03:08thing and say it's a handkerchief.
03:13This Love that saints sing of, you cannot be told about.
03:24You can just give yourself an opportunity to probably let it happen to you.
03:40And when it would be happening to you, you will not be able to name it, recognize it,
03:48identify it.
03:51Later, way later, one day you will suddenly remark, oh,
04:02have I really been in Love all this while?
04:06Is this that?
04:09And then you will feel so stupid.
04:10You have been in Love for so long without knowing it.
04:22Not only have you not known that you have been in Love, you have no idea who the Beloved is.
04:32And yet you are madly in Love.
04:35No doubt about that.
04:40This social Love is a very, very marketable thing.
04:54It's a thing that belongs to the warehouses, the shops, the inventories, the shopping bags.
05:05When they are setting the Love goals and marriage goals.
05:09Love goals and marriage goals.
05:12So, you can easily identify it.
05:24The man is gaping at you or the woman is winking at you.
05:28You can immediately stamp Love.
05:38Hey, I just got a wink and I have recorded it.
05:50Love certified.
05:50He just held my hand.
06:02When I think of him, certain things happen in my body.
06:08Love.
06:14In the Love that Kabir Sahab talks of,
06:22stranger things happen, but those stranger things have not been chronicled.
06:31Great things happen in that Love, but they are not pattern-based.
06:37One thing happens with one person, another thing happens with another person.
06:47So, there is no set way of telling that you have fallen in the Great Divine Love.
06:59The talkative one may go quiet.
07:02The quiet one may go singing.
07:04How do you know what a definite sign is?
07:13On one day, you might be found weeping.
07:16On the other day, you are found ecstatic.
07:21Such contradiction.
07:28And lovers are found praising their luck.
07:31Lovers of God are often found cursing the moment when it happened to them.
07:48Look at the songs of saints.
07:51Often they are full of such deep melancholy.
07:54It borders on grudge.
08:10You almost feel as if the singer is complaining.
08:14He is saying, why did it happen to me?
08:16And he is saying, you are killing me.
08:23Softly, silently, gradually, why are you doing this to me?
08:29And the saints have repeatedly asked this.
08:33Why are you doing this to me?
08:40And the beloved is so indifferent, even arrogant.
08:44He does not even bother to respond.
08:47As if he is saying, if it is too much for you, walk out.
08:52If you can't handle it, break up.
08:58He doesn't bother.
09:03It's all yours to gain or lose.
09:06He is non-challenged.
09:11But very beautiful.
09:17You can't get him and you can't avoid him.
09:22What to do?
09:29So, if I have not already confused you enough, Duri, it suffices to say
09:37that transcendental love cannot be detected.
09:59For very long, it will go unnamed.
10:02And it's good that it goes unnamed because if you come to know too soon
10:18that you have fallen in real love, then you will block that love.
10:26It is great that the real thing keeps happening for very long outside of your knowledge.
10:41You know, once the fetus reaches three months or four months, it cannot be aborted anymore.
10:52So, it's good if to a violent and loveless mother, the news of her pregnancy comes quite late.
11:14At least now she will not be able to kill the child.
11:23Had she immediately known that she is pregnant, the child was gone.
11:43Come out, come out.
11:44That's all that can be said to you.
11:47Give yourself a chance.
11:49A chance for what?
11:50That cannot be told.
11:52A chance to let strange things happen.
12:03The other two types of love that you have talked of, love towards a woman,
12:09culminating in marriage and self-love, these are just Prakriti.
12:19Game of chemicals.
12:22Chemicals eager to react.
12:38Atoms eager to satisfy their valencies.
12:45Two missing electrons, and I can see them in that woman.
13:00Can you give them to me, baby?
13:07No, if I give them to you, I will fall short.
13:10All right, let's go co-operative.
13:12Or if it's just, you know, the dating flirting kind of thing, more than a friend,
13:32just, you know, the dating flirting kind of thing, more than a friend,
13:46yet not a girlfriend.
13:51It's a hydrogen bond.
13:52It exists, but not strongly.
14:12So, that's the brain.
14:16Dopamine and the other chemicals you already know very well of.
14:28Methane.
14:31You know, if you observe your brain, you see strange things.
14:41If you are a young man, and you see a beautiful woman,
14:49there is a certain impact on the brain, and it can be measured.
14:58And equally, if you are a young man,
15:00and equally, if you are a young man,
15:06and you get some unexpected money, there is a certain impact on the brain, that too can be measured.
15:16And if you are a young man, and somebody comes and showers you with effusive praise,
15:22there is a certain impact on the brain, and it can be measured.
15:26You have probably already guessed what I am next going to say.
15:30These three impacts are the same, or at least very similar, very similar.
15:39Same chemical, same kind of brain waves, same movement of electricity in the neurons,
15:50in the synapses, same kind of lighting up of particular brain areas.
16:01You know what is common between the three experiences? The ego is feeling satisfied.
16:09Good girl, good money, good reputation, same source.
16:17All that is just Prakriti.
16:21And that is why often if you cannot get a good woman, good money helps.
16:32And that is also why if you have a good reputation, you are likely to get a good woman.
16:38Or if you have good money, you are likely
16:41to have both good reputation and a good woman. All these three are just one, Prakriti.
16:56Anshanji, can we say that even because of the availability of more and more resources now,
17:04people who are getting money more easily than it was before,
17:09so even now they are deciding to not to get married for the same reason,
17:13because all of their requirements are getting filled, that same chemical, by other means now.
17:20Yes, partly yes, partly yes.
17:30Also, as you shared that the self-love, self-respect, or the ones who say that
17:37there is no justification to my actions and this is my life, they say that this is all Prakriti.
17:43But many spiritual teachers, they teach that the self-love is basically, it's more of a spiritual
17:50love and that is how they even meditate upon that and do the practices accordingly. Why does that
17:57happen? It sells. It sells. It sells. It sells. The ego wants to remain confined within itself.
18:28The ego wants to know only that which is within itself
18:41and also claim that that which is within itself is full and absolute.
18:59Therefore, everything that is lovable is also bound to be within
19:17the circumference of the ego.
19:24That's what self-love is.
19:26Self-love is living by the ego center and self-love
19:36expresses itself in many neo-age slogans.
19:45Accept me as I am.
19:48Love me for who I am.
19:50Be who you are. Be yourself. I must warn the viewers, the listeners,
20:03that these are extremely poisonous statements.
20:10Extremely poisonous. Be cautious of them. I'll repeat.
20:16Love me for who I am. Be who you are. Accept me as I am. Be yourself.
20:30Live by your heart. That's really
20:37top of tops. Live by your heart. Listen to your heart.
20:55These are extremely
20:57dangerous. Avoid them. All these statements are just the attempt of the ego to declare itself
21:18the sole authority. All these attempts are
21:23to say that I know best.
21:29All these attempts are anti-truth.
21:34All these attempts say I know.
21:42I know. I will decide. The truth rests in me.
21:53I am the truth. The ego declaring I am the truth.
21:57I am the truth. I know. I am lovely. And I will decide.
22:08This is not merely not spiritual. It is actually anti-spiritual.
22:15This is egoism to the core.
22:18Live by your heart. Live by your understanding. That's another
22:25new age motive. Live by your understanding.
22:48And there are a few more as well. The young people would know.
23:03Believe in yourself.
23:07Be the master. The driver of your life. Be the driver of your life.
23:12Is there any significance of the statement that accept yourself as you are?
23:23Yeah, that means accept your cage. Accept your cage. The moment you say I accept myself as I am,
23:32you have killed all dissatisfaction against yourself.
23:38Now there is no possibility of change.
23:47The spiritual one
23:51does not say I am dissatisfied against myself, so I want to be a particular way.
24:00He merely says I am dissatisfied.
24:03Please understand this. There is one kind of egoism that says
24:09I am satisfied with myself. I have accepted myself as I am. That kind of creed.
24:17There is another kind of egoism that says I am not happy as I am and therefore I want to become
24:24and therefore I want to become somebody else. This too is egoism.
24:34Who is the spiritual one? He says as long as I decide what to become,
24:44I will remain dissatisfied. I am dissatisfied as I am and I will remain dissatisfied as I would be.
24:54The only way to gain contentment is to leave matters to something beyond the ego.
25:13So, spirituality is neither about passively accepting who you are, nor is it about
25:23radically rebelling to bring about a new order.
25:33And you do not think that those who have been great rebels and revolutionaries
25:38and who have tried to bring about a new internal or external or social order
25:44are spiritual people. They are not.
25:53And therefore, spirituality is so very
25:59tricky, puzzling.
26:05It irritates the mind. The mind says, all right, I am prepared to accept that I am wrong.
26:12Now tell me what is right so that I can go to the right. Spirituality says not only are you wrong,
26:19you also cannot go to the right because whatever you will go to will be wrong precisely because
26:27you have chosen it and gone to it. Now this really rubs the ego in a very wrong way, in a very rough way.
26:42There are the status quoists, the pacifists and then there are the activists.
26:48The spiritual man is neither a status quoist nor an activist. He is totally different.
27:08Acharyaji, you talked about the love of saints, the love of the wise ones, about the longing.
27:14So, Alokji has asked in the same frame that, first of all, he asked that what is this longing that
27:20the saints talk of, that you already talked of in the previous answer. And then he said that
27:24we do have a deep desire which gets manifested in running behind rules or finds its ways to
27:32materialize in our relationships with things. So, there is this person who is preparing for
27:38competitive exams. When you look into his eyes, you know that he is deeply desirous. There is a
27:43deep desire that's there to crack that exam and that is something that happens in relationships
27:49too when the two people are there together. So, he says that do they have any similarity,
27:54this deep desire and the longing that the saints talk of and also how do they differ?
27:58The similarity is that the desire is deeper than the normal desires.
28:12The difference is that even this deep desire is not deep enough.
28:21The similarity between deep desire for a woman or worldly success
28:27and the spiritual longing is that in both you won't change.
28:40The difference is that in deep worldly desire
28:47you are prepared to change everything except your core. But in spiritual longing,
28:57you are prepared to let go of absolutely everything including yourself.
29:04When you prepare for a worldly mission, be it a competitive exam or be it about wooing a woman,
29:15you do it for yourself. You do it for yourself.
29:21You will add the new qualification to your name.
29:29You will add the woman you are wooing to your house. You are doing it for yourself.
29:36You are doing it for yourself. But in spiritual longing,
29:46that which you are seeking or courting is so big that you cannot bring it to your house.
29:56Your house is too small to contain it.
29:58So, you go to his house.
30:10You bring the woman to your house. But when you are in love with God,
30:18you don't bring God to your house. You leave your house and you enter God's house.
30:23So, there is a bit of similarity. The similarity is that there is a lot of fervor.
30:29There is a lot of desirous energy. But the difference is tremendous.
30:40In one case, you are seeking to boost yourself. In the other case,
30:45you are prepared to just fade away, dissolve away.
31:09It's another dimension.
31:14God is not something you can add to your CV.