• 3 days ago
Handsome Hank | Viva TV
Transcript
00:00Think I'm gonna transition to a full-time kids show. I beg your pardon imagine kid letting the kids screaming for Rossi
00:07No more promoting diabetes
00:10No more football 50. That's the worst week of the year worst week. What are you doing?
00:20So I think this is this is it this is a home runner it's a miss like a complete mess
00:30I
00:48Mean Titus right now. Yeah, I got abandoned by my family here in Chicago right here. I call this chair. Yeah, you got it
00:55What's up squad? How's it going? Good? It's going on the gentleman beside you
01:00Overall just his vibe. Yeah, I don't like it. So I made a new family. I have Blutman who's a cousin a very near cousin to me
01:08quakes, who is my mean uncle and
01:11We got some guy off the street over there to produce too. So he'll he'll do a good job
01:18This guy's the worst yeah, we're gonna we're trying to keep the I mean the thing afloat here
01:23I guess nobody got the memo that we're still doing most of sports this week. So someone's someone's gotta carry the boats
01:28You know, I'll do it. What about the Normulans?
01:32Why are you hollering are you hollering I can't see you can't see it. No, I mean like it's all blurry
01:39What's the point? I'm asking chat GPT to write a list of topics for the show
01:44We're not going to AI this video is never coming out. Anyway, this guy Evo is the most like oh
01:50Let's do this idea and then just have no idea guy all the time. So this might just be the worst thing
01:57I'm I'm one person offended that the closest thing we got to Brandon Walker
02:02I'm over here on the couch, but it's fun. The couch is an honor the couch. No. Yeah, it's great
02:07There's three things in life. I care about big TV. That's the SEC. That's SEC football and that's
02:14Mississippi State
02:18Is that a Penn State Jersey a large
02:21Not gonna happen. Yeah, so are we just like doing a show or am I look legitimately?
02:27Pretending to be you you can just be me. Okay
02:31the most annoying
02:33What I'm here about Paul Skeen's era. Well, it's Ken Griffey seniors
02:41So we talk about hockey, all right, three two one
02:47There's nothing else to do in the office this week, but a fake Moses Morgan's yeah, I
02:52Also anything to get away from smokes dictatorship, yeah, it's the worst week of the year worst week of the year
03:02Caitlyn you know where we keep trash bags
03:08No more
03:10obesity snacks
03:12No more promoting diabetes
03:14No more football 50 no more, Ohio Tate. No more getting fat
03:20We're making healthy changes around
03:23Eat all this
03:25high cholesterol
03:27diabetes
03:28This this is gonna have you on ozempic
03:40But don't worry there's still gonna be snacks just better ones watermelon
03:46Pineapple tomato cucumber broccoli peppers
03:50cauliflower
03:51Grapes, we're gonna have the most fit office. Not not in just Barstow the entire country
03:57Obesity, I think not fresh watermelon
04:03Now look at that look how much better that is
04:06Clean organized healthy, you don't get this everywhere, but you do when smokes is in charge
04:16I
04:24Usually I don't have many good things to say about the Obama family, but Michelle was right looking back
04:30We need healthier snacks. Go get some fruit. No you're gonna be up late tonight
04:36Smokes is just Michelle Obama in all of our snacks, so that's where we're at right now. Where's it at?
04:41I'm starving. I would like some fruit and it's not a bar
04:45snack bar
04:47Bunch of processed garbage. It's poisoning us all exactly look at this fresh fresh watermelon
04:55Yeah, it is a little fruit bar like this like that a little pineapple too I
05:01Get some broccoli in there, I'll be fine. I like that
05:07Go ahead give them a give a review tell them how fresh the fruit is
05:11That's a vegetable look time. That's cucumbers fruit
05:14Kind of cover the fruit stuff the vegetable right? We don't need that diabetes shit. I like pineapple me too
05:23Whatever happened I do it because it makes my come taste sweet respectfully
05:28No
05:31This is I mean, I just need a real snack money
05:37This isn't great either
05:41No wafers healthy these are healthy snack
05:49I mean, what is this? I like the fruit but like what is this? This is the same. We're eating like mr.
05:56Pear, this is the same diet that mr. Pear. That's
05:58Why are we doing this who eats just cauliflower with no?
06:03There's just raw cauliflower. Where are the snacks they have to be somewhere. Oh my god
06:11These are the snacks
06:13What are you doing to her? I'll stop being fat. Go get some fruit. I bought the fruit for you to eat it
06:18This is you. What is this type shit? Is this you're helping?
06:23Yes, also, I like this to a weed fucking fruit like Tony Soprano weed fucking fruit
06:30It's looking good for you. No one in this no one in this truck. No one in this fucking house. You understand
06:35I'm trying to fucking through here. Here's our water. I do like watermelon. Thank you
06:40Well, maybe next time go to Whole Foods cherry tomatoes cause inflammation
06:44Surprised you know that I don't have to worry about inflammation. I'm not a diabetic like you
06:49Know these cause inflammation Tom Brady doesn't eat tomatoes. Fuck Tom Brady only got to bring a championship to Florida
06:56Not South Florida two different states
07:01This sucks
07:04But instead of like
07:07Regular Wi-Fi you just use Starlink. It's the satellites
07:10I don't know enough about how that would be better than what your current setup is now
07:15I want to get rid of all the wires for like
07:19Apocalypse situations, right? You ever seen wires?
07:22Yeah, I don't like why I don't like wires. I don't want why I just don't
07:26Know that it's worth it for what you're trying to do
07:29Like if you have good internet, I have great internet. There's no reason to be launching it to the stars then
07:35I just thought I would get rid of all my wires. It's just Wi-Fi. That should be like free
07:38I got three wires on the outside of the house
07:43Yeah, those are thick
07:48129 I think but that's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you would have
07:52Starlink receiver. Mm-hmm a router and then three different cables
07:58You have three cables now might be more cables, but it would be cool. Like I
08:03Want exactly I don't know but I want it
08:07Who's gonna come in stolen one of Elon's guys? Yeah, I mean, I doubt the guy coming to your house will know Elon personally, but
08:14You don't think so. No
08:17Driver no Bezos, right true. Yeah
08:22What's the next invention that's what you gotta figure out
08:25There he is Jerry I didn't mean to put you on the spot. Can we talk about it yet or no?
08:31Yeah
08:32Yeah, it's fine. It is what it is. It's all good
08:34It's not like I I mean if somebody I don't think anybody's gonna take it and run with it
08:38You know, I think I'm gonna transition to a full-time kids show like a Miss Rachel, but mr. Jerry I
08:44Beg your pardon. I
08:47Could like a Dave. Could you ever picture? So I had a video that I had a video that I had a video
08:53So I had a vision to where obviously barstools and network been around for a long time 20 plus years very successful
09:01Could you see a separate entity of Barstool like Barstool kids and a separate network?
09:08I mean that would be massive massive if it works. I hate it. It doesn't yeah, I mean I
09:15Love it. I wouldn't prevent anybody from doing anything
09:19Just just about human interest level Dave aren't you interested in watching the pilot episode of mr. Jerry just just to see what it looks like
09:28No, I
09:31Can't have less interest in this. All right, Jerry. We'll talk to you. Good luck. Yeah. Okay. Thanks guys. This is happening
09:39Listen, I'm gonna give it a try. It'll be a
09:41like miss Rachel like blippy kids show and
09:45You
09:46Know we'll do ABC's we'll do fun songs, you know, we'll build stuff
09:51Play with fire trucks go to the playground. So I think this is this is this is a home runner
09:56It's a miss like a complete mess, but quick is right if it's a miss
10:00At least it's a funny mess this I think I would have fun and like actually do something positive for the kids
10:07Listen, I always been for the kids long before I had kids. I was always for the kids. I got my notepad today
10:14Jot down some notes first things first need a name of the show
10:19And need an outfit the outfit has to be on point outfit has to be on point you could do spinoffs
10:26Like the signs this is a stop sign. It's an octagon. What color is the stop sign? It's red
10:32Red, how do you spell red? R-E-D-D is dog. You know, there's a lot of things you could do
10:37Do you feel like you're sharp enough right now to be in a teaching position?
10:43No, but but I like
10:48Imagine me doing multiplication or long division to the kids
10:52They think it's funny
10:56Yeah have different side characters come in to imagine Mincy coming up dressed as a mime, you know
11:07What is he gonna teach my child, you know
11:10He's a mime he can't say anything, that's why I said that
11:14You could like teach lessons with people like Rico could help teach like anger management. Yeah, he's like, what's what's the what's the um
11:22The one that lives in the trash in Sesame Street
11:25Oscar the grouch he can be like Oscar the grouch. I like it. I like a brand complete rebrand
11:31But remember that rumor growing up that Steve from Blue's Clues used to be addicted to meth
11:36No
11:38Crack I
11:40Don't want the kids to know that though. Imagine me doing like a kid show and it like blows up
11:44Then I'm toast in a foot competition. I
11:48Know I don't see the natural fit of us being a kiddie show. It'll be green screen pre-recorded, right?
11:55Yeah, you think mr. Jerry is good. Yeah, we need we need the outfit to slap though
12:01I think that's the that's the biggest thing is the outfit. I'm thinking khakis with like a sweater vest
12:06That's tucked in. I kind of like this wigs
12:14I like that magic kid. Let me kids screaming for Ross. Yeah, but I run me Oh
12:20Wigs this this kind of slaps
12:23So you don't have to have like an opening song you'd say or a beat teaching kids about football teaching them about that baseball
12:29Yeah, like teaching the sport, you know what I mean? Yeah
12:33Wow, yeah, I mean you'll have to be good at anything. No, it's your team or knowledgeable than a one-year-old child
12:40Yeah, mr. Jerry
12:43What is it Jerry what's a Jerry what are you thinking like logo wise?
12:48Mr. Jerry, but every letter
12:52Is something it's like a jet like a jackhammer or a J. Yeah jeans like okay
12:58Picture this picture blue jeans in here. You're like an E could be like a paperclip, you know that way that way that way
13:07Kids love about this right down balls
13:09like do you think I start with like ABCs and like stuff like that or do I jump right into like
13:15Teaching sports once we get the color scheme, but I don't want black and yellow like Steelers. That's not good
13:20Yeah, go with that baby blue like baby blue. Yeah, I like those colors though. Yeah, I think don't think those colors
13:27I think that's the color baby blue and yellow
13:30So baby blue and gold when you say yeah, baby blue yellow. Oh, oh my god. I got it
13:38Oh, yeah
13:44I mean, what did you just know these are just like, you know, I'm not not not putting ideas together right now
13:51It's like a song
13:58Oh
14:01What
14:03What's team
14:07Do you think it's a guy's voice or a girl's voice, what do you think probably girl's voice I do too
14:28Hey, hey kids, it's time to play with mr. Jerry learn today shapes and colors
14:36Every day's a blast
14:58I
15:00Took you what?
15:03They say hey
15:07How do you feel about the people saying mr. Jerry Sandusky, yeah people are common
15:11Yeah, I mean it is what it is. I'm gonna have to go through it. You can literally make a show through AI
15:17I know that's that's the craziest. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty crazy. But how do you how do you know?
15:21It's not copyright cuz never been made before. Oh, okay. Got you
15:26We would be able to would we be able to copyright it?
15:28I don't know if you'd be able to copyright it, but nobody could copyright strike you. Gotcha. Okay. How did you try my voice?
15:34It just was bad
15:37Hey, hey kids, it's time to play with mr. Jerry
15:43Shapes and colors and honors to every day
15:56I
16:02Didn't mean to make it make it make you gag. I just wanted to eat my lunch. Oh my god
16:06It smells like literally fried death in my fucking area. It's great
16:11I don't give a fuck if it tastes great. It is a criminal offense to microwave salmon. I
16:17Can't live here. It's like impossible for me to just be
16:26You don't do it like everyone knows that I
16:30Don't know. Yeah
16:32Look, I'll be either the men in here are shitting up a storm or they're fucking microwaving. What are you guys doing now?
16:38I'll be honest if I knew it was gonna reach off you guys all the way over there. I would have never did
16:45Weeks weeks, it's great
16:47No
16:54You know, I'm an airhead yeah, I wanted to like my salmon for a little bit
16:58So it's a little warm when I ate it and I didn't know it reached all the way over
17:02No
17:06I'm sorry
17:08I think you learned a lesson
17:13If I knew it was gonna be such a big deal
17:16I would have never done it. Yeah, but then to like come out here and take my head off like I
17:21Like that was insane
17:26Guys just try to eat
17:30Had to go to Lowe's myself who breeds drivers couldn't find the correct
17:35Tubing to break over my back shout out to deathmatch wrestler or invite for
17:40Telling me which light tubes can break over your back without breaking skin. These are filled with mercury though
17:45So doing a new segment on who can't sleep called breaking news
17:49And we are also adding Hannah Montoya as a co-host and she will be breaking news
17:54with these light tubes
17:56Over my back
17:59Yes, Phil
18:01Filled to the brim with mercury caution
18:05Lamp may shatter and cause injury also
18:09Filled with lamp contains mercury
18:12When I'm down like this, that's when you go like upper back, right? And then you want to hit like the meat of it
18:19Like you're crap. Yeah a little bit more. Yeah
18:24Do you want me to talk you want to get the guy on the phone?
18:28Sure, yeah, it's cool getting a deathmatch wrestler on the phone right now. Hello. Yo, Oren
18:34What's up here with Hannah? Hi
18:38So she's about to smash this light tube over my back just want to get the form down
18:42Oh
18:52So don't be scared about beating the shit out of him correct, how about the mercury is that uh, is that an issue?
19:05Cool thank you, dude. Thank you. Appreciate it
19:09All right
19:11Awesome so as hard as I fucking can yep. I genuinely feel like I'm going into battle right now. I'm joining
19:19Luke can't sleep
19:20For Montoya Mondays. Yeah, it's gonna be at 8 p.m. Every day on Mondays. Yeah, what if you go back there?
19:27Is that or what? Oh, I could pop up behind you or something. Give me heart
19:32Ah
19:36We got one shot at this
19:38We got one shot. Oh
19:40Are you ready?
19:42Hey, I'm ready
19:44Finger ready. Yeah, Colton ready ready
19:50Breaking news
19:56Every Monday at 8 p.m. Central tuning
20:02I
20:13Feel like I have like like tingling sensations going through
20:18I think I need to be a deathmatch wrestler. Are you okay?
20:22Yeah, I feel it hurt for like a second. I'll get a picture of my back at some point
20:27But it just it's like a red mark
20:29I'm Hannah Montoya and you're watching Luke can't sleep
20:35Luke ouch, I don't feel anything. Is there anything there?
20:40Is there anything there?
20:42My bleeding a little bit a little bit. No, you're good, but that's me. I
20:47Got put all the fucking diabetes back out
20:59This is good stuff review, all right
21:08Every day's a blast with you. Mr. Jerry's fun and bright
21:17Learning here is such a delight

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