Chiquito Pero Peligroso (Little Man)(2006) Película Completa en Español latino
Chiquito Pero Peligroso (Little Man)(2006) Película Completa en Español latino
Chiquito Pero Peligroso (Little Man)(2006) Película Completa en Español latino
Chiquito Pero Peligroso (Little Man)(2006) Película Completa en Español latino
Chiquito Pero Peligroso (Little Man)(2006) Película Completa en Español latino
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FunTranscript
00:00:001, 2, 3, 3, 3. Hey, what's next to 3?
00:00:08Uh, 4. 4 goes after 3.
00:00:10I can't hear you count!
00:00:124.
00:00:144!
00:00:155.
00:00:165!
00:00:186.
00:00:196, fast!
00:00:207.
00:00:20Sam's.
00:00:218.
00:00:23You're leaving.
00:00:30We'll see you later, sweet lips.
00:00:34Exit inmate!
00:00:36You'll be back!
00:00:38See you later!
00:00:40Where is that man?
00:00:42Open the doors!
00:01:00Where is that idiot?
00:01:16Cal! Cal!
00:01:22What an idiot.
00:01:24I'll open the door for my boss, my old man is coming!
00:01:26Idiot!
00:01:30I'm sorry, Cal.
00:01:32Idiot!
00:01:34Wait a minute.
00:01:36Do you want us to steal a diamond?
00:01:38And how much are you going to pay for that?
00:01:40Listen to this, 100 grand.
00:01:42100 grand?
00:01:44That's a lot.
00:01:46So I can start with my brand.
00:01:48I'm going to give you a taste of my first single.
00:01:50That's good.
00:01:52Yeah?
00:01:54They've never shot me.
00:01:56But they've always hit me in the neck.
00:01:58With a lever.
00:02:00Look at the lyrics, look at the lyrics.
00:02:02I'll take you to the butcher's.
00:02:04So you can suck a pig's dick.
00:02:06Even though I know you like ham.
00:02:08If you're a Jew, I have ham for you.
00:02:10Hey, hey!
00:02:12Hey, camel's mouth.
00:02:14That's 50 cents.
00:02:16Cal, this isn't 50 cents.
00:02:18He's talking about candies.
00:02:20I'm talking about meat.
00:02:22Please keep your money in the mattress, camel.
00:02:24Yeah, I bet you'll use it better.
00:02:26In bars and cheap shirts.
00:02:28What?
00:02:30What you have to do is find yourself a good girl and settle down.
00:02:32Please, Percy, that's not going to happen.
00:02:34Since you're a dwarf, your ideas outdo you.
00:02:36I'm going to tell you something about love, Percy.
00:02:38I never had it.
00:02:40I don't need it and I don't want it.
00:02:42You're not going to keep hitting me, Cal.
00:02:44I'm not your son.
00:02:46I'm going to be an unequal rapper.
00:02:48So take your hands off me.
00:02:50Because I'm close to the limit.
00:02:54So you stay back until Vanessa gets here.
00:02:56I'll give you a signal and you get out, okay?
00:02:58Okay, understood.
00:03:00Hey, Jimmy, please, this is the best day of my life.
00:03:02This has to be sensational.
00:03:04Hey, man, I understand you.
00:03:06And can I tell you something?
00:03:08Congratulations, that's my hero.
00:03:10You got to the base, right?
00:03:12Oh, man, you did it.
00:03:14You did it, Daryl.
00:03:16Hey, you don't have to do this.
00:03:20The trip I had to make to get here...
00:03:22Jimmy, yes, yes, yes, goodbye, goodbye.
00:03:24Thank you, thank you.
00:03:30Hello.
00:03:34I'm so glad you were able to get out of work.
00:03:36Oh, you think I would have stayed at work
00:03:38and I would have missed this? Are you crazy?
00:03:40Look how you are.
00:03:42You are beautiful, beautiful.
00:03:44Oh, my God.
00:03:46It seems that it was just yesterday
00:03:48that we sat down in this same restaurant
00:03:50and I asked you to be my wife.
00:03:52And I'm still working for that diamond.
00:03:54I haven't forgotten the diamond.
00:03:56I know, you are the sweetest man on the planet.
00:03:58Can I talk now?
00:04:00Sorry, yes, yes, yes.
00:04:02Correct.
00:04:04So you know what I've been waiting to know.
00:04:06Well, I have the news.
00:04:08Yes?
00:04:10I'm pregnant!
00:04:12You'll have my baby.
00:04:14No, no.
00:04:16It's not important to me.
00:04:18There's nothing better than that.
00:04:20No, I'm not pregnant.
00:04:22No, I'm not pregnant.
00:04:24Sir!
00:04:26Sir!
00:04:28Sir!
00:04:30Enough.
00:04:32Jimmy, enough.
00:04:34I'm not pregnant.
00:04:36No?
00:04:42What do you mean you're not pregnant?
00:04:44You were pregnant, my love, but you had nausea
00:04:46and you were vomiting every day.
00:04:48I was very nervous.
00:04:50My love, what are we doing here then?
00:04:52Terry, they gave me the promotion.
00:04:54Well, let's go upstairs.
00:04:56To the west side.
00:04:58Jimmy, Jimmy.
00:05:00Now, now, now.
00:05:02No, I'm not pregnant.
00:05:04Enough, Jimmy, please, please, enough.
00:05:06You didn't have to do this.
00:05:08Please.
00:05:10Okay, go.
00:05:12Congratulations. I'm very happy.
00:05:16But?
00:05:18But I thought the kids would come to the family.
00:05:20And they will.
00:05:22But later.
00:05:24With this promotion, everything has to be planned.
00:05:26In a couple of years, I'll be vice president
00:05:28and I'll have time to have a child.
00:05:30In a couple of years? I don't want to wait that long.
00:05:32Daryl, it's just that a baby changes everything.
00:05:34I want to do whatever is necessary.
00:05:36Then there won't be poker at night.
00:05:38Well.
00:05:40Neither
00:05:42fast in the afternoon.
00:05:44Wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:05:46We haven't had fast in the afternoon since your father moved.
00:05:48No, that's not true. My dad is already an old man.
00:05:50Sometimes he forgets things and I don't feel comfortable
00:05:52with him living alone.
00:05:54Do you forget Whispering Glen?
00:05:56The brochure says that place is like a country club.
00:05:58It has machines that sell Viagra.
00:06:00Listen to me. As long as there is any danger to him or to the people,
00:06:02he will stay with us.
00:06:04Now,
00:06:06can we celebrate?
00:06:08Celebration.
00:06:10Come on, come on.
00:06:12Let's celebrate tonight.
00:06:14We're not going to fight.
00:06:16I'm not going to talk tonight.
00:06:18Women, I can't hear you.
00:06:20Celebrate, celebrate.
00:06:22Celebrate, celebrate.
00:06:24Run!
00:06:36Hey, asshole. What are you doing?
00:06:38I'm getting ready to rob the jewelry store.
00:06:40I'm going in like Jesse James.
00:06:42Percy, better keep the gun.
00:06:44The guns will take you to jail. I'm telling you right now.
00:06:46I'm not going back to jail. Is that clear?
00:06:48Better keep the gun.
00:06:50Why do you keep hitting me, Cal?
00:06:52I'd like you to come in right, Percy.
00:06:54Wait, help me.
00:06:58I want you to believe in the boss.
00:07:00No.
00:07:02I have a plan, kid.
00:07:04This stone is a diamond
00:07:06with three G-shapes.
00:07:08With very few imperfections.
00:07:10Almost none.
00:07:12Don't worry, Calvin.
00:07:14We're in.
00:07:16Look, there it is.
00:07:18Now do your thing, Cal.
00:07:22Ah, excuse me a moment.
00:07:26Do your thing.
00:07:28Yes, how can I help you?
00:07:30Ah, Percy.
00:07:32General director and talent hunter
00:07:34at Union P Records.
00:07:36I'm here to pick up one of my artists' jewelry.
00:07:38Oh, you're talking to the right person.
00:07:40Come on in, Percy P.
00:07:42I like it when you say my name.
00:07:44Can I sit down? I've been standing all day.
00:07:46Of course.
00:07:48Would you like a juice with gin?
00:07:50Would you like a juice with gin?
00:08:08I'm going to show you the finest there is right now.
00:08:12That's it.
00:08:14Come here.
00:08:20This is what I'm talking about, my love.
00:08:22And what can I give you today, Percy P.?
00:08:26Everything up here.
00:08:32I'll send one of my P Records assistants
00:08:34to pick up all the merchandise.
00:08:36Tell him to come and I'll throw all this crap
00:08:38in his trunk.
00:08:40Really?
00:08:42I'm leaving.
00:08:44Because I have to go.
00:08:46Bye.
00:08:48I'm leaving.
00:08:50Because I have an important meeting in...
00:08:52Oh, yeah, I know.
00:08:54I have to go.
00:08:56Come on, you five. Peace.
00:08:58Peace.
00:09:00Calm down. What's wrong?
00:09:02Has anyone seen my dog?
00:09:04Hello, doggy.
00:09:06Uh-oh.
00:09:08Let go of me, you bastard!
00:09:10Give me back my dog!
00:09:12Let go of me!
00:09:14Holy mother!
00:09:16The queen is gone!
00:09:18Calm down. We're almost there.
00:09:20I need the police.
00:09:22There was a robbery.
00:09:24We did it.
00:09:26We're Botch Cassidy Sundays of the moment.
00:09:28Give me back my dog!
00:09:30Besides, you're not even a dog, Chihuahua.
00:09:32Let go of me, you idiot!
00:09:34Right now, Cal.
00:09:36Let go of me, you idiot!
00:09:38Oh, hell!
00:09:40It's time for you to turn around.
00:09:42I can't believe it, man!
00:09:44Damn it!
00:09:46Percy, they put a padlock on you.
00:09:48And I'm going to kick your...
00:09:50He finally caught me.
00:09:52Who, you?
00:09:54Nettie, the one who works in public security, says I got her pregnant.
00:09:56I went to court and I have all my infractions.
00:09:58I'm leaving.
00:10:00Hey, Percy!
00:10:02Did you forget something?
00:10:04What?
00:10:06Come here!
00:10:08I'm sorry, Cal.
00:10:12Ah!
00:10:14They went that way.
00:10:16How are they?
00:10:18They're black.
00:10:20I've got them! Dark, of course.
00:10:22Half.
00:10:24The suspect escaped on foot.
00:10:26African American.
00:10:28About 50.
00:10:30Not very dark.
00:10:32Like mocha color with caramel.
00:10:34Ah!
00:10:36What?
00:10:38Gomezon?
00:10:40Ah!
00:10:42Get me down!
00:10:44We have to separate.
00:10:46Okay.
00:10:54It's because I'm tense.
00:10:56It's not because she's pregnant.
00:10:58Please, honey, don't say you're tense.
00:11:00It's not good for the baby.
00:11:02Darling, there's no baby.
00:11:04Corridor 2.
00:11:06Just say it.
00:11:10Okay.
00:11:16Let's go.
00:11:18Darling, please.
00:11:20Okay, let's go.
00:11:22Yes.
00:11:24Not one more.
00:11:26Okay, okay.
00:11:34I've got him!
00:11:36Come here!
00:11:40Don't resist!
00:11:42Don't resist!
00:11:44It's not him.
00:11:46What? You said African American.
00:11:48Yes, but I said mocha color with caramel.
00:11:50It's like decaffeinated.
00:11:52Maybe with a little cream.
00:11:54It's not the one we're looking for.
00:11:56Can I go?
00:11:58Yes, go.
00:12:00Ah!
00:12:02I didn't see mocha color!
00:12:06What?
00:12:08He looked suspicious.
00:12:10I know he's going to do something.
00:12:12I'll wait for him.
00:12:14Do you still have the diamond?
00:12:16Yes, I hid it.
00:12:18Where?
00:12:20In his bag?
00:12:22No, Calvin, what now?
00:12:24We have to take it from him.
00:12:26Let's go.
00:12:34Follow that car.
00:12:38Let's go.
00:12:56Hey, they got out.
00:12:58There's no baby.
00:13:00There's no baby.
00:13:02Let's go.
00:13:08Where's my beautiful girl?
00:13:10Daddy.
00:13:12Who's the best dad in the world?
00:13:14I am.
00:13:16I know you can say it better.
00:13:18Who's the best dad in the world?
00:13:20I am.
00:13:22I can't hear you.
00:13:24I'm the best dad in the world.
00:13:26I'm the best dad in the world.
00:13:38What's the good news?
00:13:40I got a promotion.
00:13:42Congratulations.
00:13:44You'll soon be able to leave this vagabond.
00:13:46Hey, he's not a vagabond.
00:13:48No?
00:13:50What man gives a woman who loves a wedding ring
00:13:52without a diamond?
00:13:54Yes.
00:13:56I'm going to sleep with Jennifer Lopez
00:13:58while Halle Berry tickles her butt.
00:14:00For a moment,
00:14:02I thought you were going to tell me
00:14:04that you had let him get you pregnant.
00:14:06But now I see that he doesn't have bullets in his chamber.
00:14:08Why do you say that? What do you mean?
00:14:10You heard me.
00:14:12Bulletproof. And you cook with a damp pan.
00:14:14What are you saying?
00:14:16I can't get up.
00:14:18My sperms have fallen.
00:14:20And I can't get up.
00:14:22Calm down, old man.
00:14:24Enough, enough, please, gentlemen.
00:14:26Dad, we're going to have a baby
00:14:28at the right time.
00:14:30But...
00:14:32Love each other a lot.
00:14:40It's still in the bag.
00:14:42It's still in the bag.
00:14:44Let's go for the rock.
00:14:46But how many times do I have to tell you not to take it out?
00:14:48What are we going to do?
00:14:50Who's going to kill us if we don't give him the diamond?
00:14:52So let's find a way to get in.
00:14:58Well, the man said he wanted a baby.
00:15:00No.
00:15:02No.
00:15:04No. I'm not going to dress up as a baby.
00:15:06Stay still, Calvin.
00:15:08Don't move, or I can shoot you.
00:15:10If you shoot me, you're going to pay.
00:15:12Listen, stay here.
00:15:14I'm going to go in, pick up the diamond, and I'm out.
00:15:16As soon as your mom sees you,
00:15:18she's going to say you're a cute baby.
00:15:20I'm leaving.
00:15:22Can't you find anything better than a doghouse?
00:15:24You stay there.
00:15:26I told you this would work, Cal.
00:15:30Don't move.
00:15:32Everything will be fine.
00:15:34I'll be behind the bushes.
00:15:42Get out. Get out of there.
00:15:44I'm going to turn you into a berracoa if you don't leave.
00:15:46What's wrong with you? You can't eat chocolate.
00:15:48Get out of here, cutie.
00:15:50Get out.
00:15:52Get out of there.
00:16:06Cucutata.
00:16:08Honey?
00:16:10Yes?
00:16:12Come here.
00:16:14Cucutata.
00:16:16Oh, my God.
00:16:18It's a baby.
00:16:20Yes.
00:16:22It has a note.
00:16:24Please accept Calvin
00:16:26because we can't take care of him anymore.
00:16:28Poor thing.
00:16:30His dad must have been retarded.
00:16:32Well, put him in the house.
00:16:34It's cold here.
00:16:36Come here, buddy.
00:16:38That's it.
00:16:40That's it. I got you.
00:16:42What an unpleasant smell.
00:16:48Dad, we found a baby at the door.
00:16:50What? And what is it?
00:16:52Man or woman?
00:16:54I think it's a man.
00:16:56Whatever it is, it stinks.
00:16:58Let's see. I think Janet left some diapers.
00:17:00Doesn't your dad have diapers up there?
00:17:02What are you talking about, young man?
00:17:04I don't wear diapers.
00:17:06What are you talking about?
00:17:08Do you want to bet?
00:17:10Oh!
00:17:12Whoa!
00:17:14What's going on?
00:17:16Whoa!
00:17:18He's going to be a porn star.
00:17:20What the hell is that?
00:17:22I'll call child services.
00:17:24Yes.
00:17:26Yes, call them.
00:17:32Telephone assistance.
00:17:34Can you give me the number
00:17:36of child services, please?
00:17:38Social services will be closed
00:17:40on the weekend.
00:17:42It will be attended to Monday at 9 a.m.
00:17:48They close on the weekend.
00:17:50The office opens until Monday at 9 a.m.
00:17:52What do we do now?
00:17:54Put him back in bed
00:17:56and have him go back to where he came from.
00:17:58Don't say that, Dad.
00:18:00We could call the police.
00:18:08Oh!
00:18:10Oh!
00:18:12That doesn't sound good.
00:18:14Let's take him to the doctor.
00:18:16We don't know what happened.
00:18:18Yes, that's true.
00:18:20I'll go get the car keys.
00:18:22When you get to the hospital,
00:18:24don't stop.
00:18:26Throw that monster out the window
00:18:28and keep going.
00:18:30I don't want to see that ugly baby.
00:18:32Stinky kid.
00:18:34Was it a cough?
00:18:36Like a...
00:18:38like a smoky adult cough.
00:18:40Well, maybe it's nothing.
00:18:42Let's take your shirt off.
00:18:46It's strong.
00:18:48Let's go, little friend.
00:18:52Oh, my God.
00:18:54What's that scar?
00:18:56I'd say this little friend
00:18:58had his appendix removed.
00:19:00Or he had a terrible fight.
00:19:02What kind of person
00:19:04tattoos a child?
00:19:06You can't imagine.
00:19:08Now, open your mouth.
00:19:10Open your mouth and say,
00:19:12Let's go, let's go.
00:19:16What's going on?
00:19:18I've never seen a baby
00:19:20like a bridge.
00:19:22This child has the mouth
00:19:24of a 40-year-old man.
00:19:26Instead of his teeth coming out,
00:19:28his teeth are falling out.
00:19:30Is he going to be okay?
00:19:32His amygdalas are inflamed.
00:19:34Maybe he was cold.
00:19:36As a precaution, take his temperature
00:19:38before putting him in bed.
00:19:40That's all.
00:19:42Thank you, Doctor.
00:19:44You're welcome.
00:19:46This is horrible.
00:19:48Look at this kid.
00:19:50We have to hand him over
00:19:52to the authorities
00:19:54so they can look for his parents
00:19:56and put them in prison.
00:19:58We can't do that.
00:20:00What do we do?
00:20:02I say we keep him.
00:20:04Just until Monday.
00:20:06No, no, Daryl.
00:20:08He's a child.
00:20:10I don't know what to do with a child.
00:20:12Just until Monday.
00:20:14Then we'll take him to social services
00:20:16and they'll find him a home.
00:20:18Honey, who can take care of him
00:20:20better than us?
00:20:22Where is he?
00:20:24The baby?
00:20:26Where do you think you're going?
00:20:28What do we have here?
00:20:30Is this your baby?
00:20:32Yes, thank you.
00:20:34Well, actually, we found him in...
00:20:36Mom!
00:20:42He called me Mom?
00:20:46Here you go.
00:20:50Thank you, Officer.
00:20:54Percy, I don't like having to go look for you.
00:20:56Who, me?
00:20:58I wasn't hiding, Mr. Walken.
00:21:00Percy doesn't hide.
00:21:02I was going to come see him as soon as I had the diamond.
00:21:04So you don't have my diamond?
00:21:06No. Well, yes.
00:21:08Now I don't have it with me,
00:21:10but it's in a safe place.
00:21:12We have everything under control.
00:21:14Believe me, I guarantee it.
00:21:16Are you trying to swindle me, Percy?
00:21:18Swindle a swindler?
00:21:20That won't happen, Mr. Walken.
00:21:22We thought about it, and a situation came up,
00:21:24and we had to split up, but my partner...
00:21:26Percy, your partner is not my problem.
00:21:28My problem is that I don't have my diamond.
00:21:30I'm going to give you 24 hours.
00:21:32After that,
00:21:34my problem becomes Bruno or Roscoe's problem.
00:21:36And they
00:21:38become your problem.
00:21:40Is there a problem with that?
00:21:42I don't have a problem with that, Mr. Walken.
00:21:44I have everything under control, I swear.
00:21:46I don't want a single stain, not a single blur, nothing.
00:21:48Not a single stain.
00:21:50Okay, Mr. Walken.
00:21:52Let him go.
00:21:54I know the way out.
00:22:02There's nothing better than the afternoon news
00:22:04with a glass of milk and cookies.
00:22:06Damn it, I forgot my milk.
00:22:08Please, you can't be showing up like this.
00:22:10For a moment I thought you were Chucky.
00:22:12They should put you in a cage.
00:22:16What are you looking at?
00:22:20It is presumed that it is the same modus operandi
00:22:22that took place in the other four attractions.
00:22:24Oh, honey, look how comfortable he is with us.
00:22:26Oh, he's so cute.
00:22:28No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:22:30Of course not, no, no, no, no, no.
00:22:32Hey!
00:22:34Grandpa, let him sit there and eat his cookie.
00:22:36This is my throne, my sanctuary,
00:22:38my air, and my zone.
00:22:40It's a cookie.
00:22:42Yes, they start with a cookie.
00:22:44And then they want to come to dinner.
00:22:46And then they want to move.
00:22:48And the next thing you know,
00:22:50they get married to your daughter.
00:22:52You see?
00:22:54Why don't you mention it now?
00:22:56I already made that mistake.
00:22:58Please.
00:23:00No, no, I won't do it again.
00:23:02No one is going to look at my face like a fool.
00:23:04I was born in Detroit.
00:23:06Oh, the guests.
00:23:08Oh, I want you to see little Calvin.
00:23:10How exciting.
00:23:12Yes, yes, introduce him to everyone
00:23:14and go to another house.
00:23:16The cookie tastes weird.
00:23:18Hello.
00:23:20Come in, come in.
00:23:22Hello, hello.
00:23:24My love.
00:23:26Hello, Consuelo.
00:23:28So, where is the boy?
00:23:30Here he is.
00:23:32Here is Calvin.
00:23:36Wow, how ugly.
00:23:38Rido, it's not Cortez.
00:23:40He scares me.
00:23:42Well, then.
00:23:44What?
00:23:46What luck that it's not yours, right?
00:23:48Yes.
00:23:50I think it's beautiful.
00:23:52I think it's a beautiful gift from God.
00:23:54God gives gifts and sometimes
00:23:56He wraps them in a hurry.
00:23:58Sometimes it's not a beautiful gift.
00:24:00Oh, yes.
00:24:02It's adorable.
00:24:04It's adorable in the National Geographic style.
00:24:06Is it a pygmy?
00:24:08What? Is it a pygmy?
00:24:14Consuelo, why don't you take the kids to play?
00:24:16Come on, come on.
00:24:18And Tommy, show Nicolas that Cesar key
00:24:20that we were doing.
00:24:22Hey, little man.
00:24:24There's no resentment, right?
00:24:28Come on, those five.
00:24:32Hey!
00:24:34Huh.
00:24:36Guess what, Calvin.
00:24:38We brought you gifts.
00:24:40We brought you a box full of
00:24:42and all the dinosaur videos
00:24:44you can imagine.
00:24:46Thank you. What beautiful things.
00:24:48It's so cute.
00:24:50I have your nose.
00:24:52Yes, I have your nose.
00:24:54Here I have it.
00:24:56You have my nose.
00:24:58You have my nose.
00:25:00Yes, you have it.
00:25:02Oh, I'm going to tear it!
00:25:04Oh, I'm going to tear it!
00:25:06Oh, I'm going to tear it!
00:25:08Oh, it's so strong.
00:25:10But it still hurts me.
00:25:12Hey, Darryl,
00:25:14why don't you take the crib upstairs?
00:25:16Girls, can you help me with all this?
00:25:18Of course.
00:25:20I'll take this to the kitchen.
00:25:22Come on, Calvin. Come on, baby.
00:25:24Come on, little cake.
00:25:26Janet, this one fits perfectly.
00:25:28Let me see.
00:25:30Oh, I'm glad I kept it.
00:25:32When was the last time
00:25:34I saw such an ugly baby?
00:25:36But well, it doesn't matter.
00:25:38What news do you have, your important woman?
00:25:40Congratulations on your promotion.
00:25:42Oh, thank you.
00:25:44It's fabulous, Darryl. Were you excited?
00:25:46Oh, no.
00:25:48Actually, I was disillusioned.
00:25:50Baby, mommy.
00:25:52I thought I was going to tell you
00:25:54that I was pregnant.
00:26:00Oh, of course.
00:26:02Pregnant midwife.
00:26:04Oh, calm down.
00:26:06I want to have a baby.
00:26:08In another moment.
00:26:10Schedule one between a conference and a call.
00:26:12But it's Darryl
00:26:14who worries me a lot.
00:26:16Really?
00:26:18You're kidding.
00:26:20You're lucky he wants to have kids.
00:26:22I had to promise Greg I would give them to him.
00:26:24Calm down, calm down, friend.
00:26:26Oh, that boy is a long-arm.
00:26:28Oh, his mom had to breastfeed him.
00:26:30Is the baby hungry?
00:26:32Yes, yes, yes.
00:26:34Oh, we have to give him milk.
00:26:36Baby wants milk.
00:26:38Are you sure you can do it?
00:26:40Oh, you don't have to be the mother to breastfeed him.
00:26:42No, no.
00:26:44Oh, he wants milk.
00:26:46Uh-huh.
00:26:48Okay.
00:26:52Very good.
00:26:54Oh, drink your precious milk.
00:26:56This boy is a long-arm.
00:26:58Come on, come on.
00:27:00Suck.
00:27:04This boy bites hard.
00:27:08Well, let's take the kids home.
00:27:10I have to take them with my mom.
00:27:12Oh, have fun.
00:27:16Thank you for everything you brought.
00:27:18Goodbye.
00:27:20If you change your mind about Consuelo,
00:27:22you can have her this weekend.
00:27:24One for you.
00:27:26And another for the baby.
00:27:40Wow.
00:27:46It's a charm, isn't it?
00:27:48I'm talking to you.
00:27:50He just put his tongue in my mouth.
00:28:00Everything was...
00:28:02I think everything was very good.
00:28:04I think it was...
00:28:06Great. You were wonderful.
00:28:08You did it so well.
00:28:10You did it excellent.
00:28:12And if that lady touches you in a way that makes you feel bad,
00:28:14let us know, okay?
00:28:16It's a charm.
00:28:18At this temperature,
00:28:20does it feel good?
00:28:22Yes, look at you.
00:28:24Do you want me to keep you company in the tub?
00:28:26I think we can solve that.
00:28:28Yes?
00:28:30Yes.
00:28:32Hey, Darryl.
00:28:34Darryl.
00:28:36Let's take a bath.
00:28:38Let's take a bath.
00:28:40Let's wash that little body.
00:28:42And then,
00:28:44we'll wash the marbles,
00:28:46and we'll make a lot of bubbles.
00:28:50Yes!
00:28:54The baby is already very clean.
00:28:56Yes, very clean.
00:29:04No!
00:29:06Calvin!
00:29:08No! Darryl!
00:29:10Help me!
00:29:12What does the cute Calvin say?
00:29:14It's time to get dressed to sleep.
00:29:16Yes, the doctor said we had to take his temperature.
00:29:18Correct.
00:29:20Calvin!
00:29:22Open your mouth.
00:29:24Darryl, what are you doing?
00:29:26I'll take his temperature.
00:29:28Honey, it's a baby.
00:29:30You have to take it straight.
00:29:32Yes, it's a baby.
00:29:34Do it.
00:29:36It won't hurt.
00:29:38Darryl, what are you doing?
00:29:40Darryl!
00:29:42Darryl, what are you doing?
00:29:44Be careful.
00:29:46I got it.
00:29:48No, no, no.
00:29:50It's a baby.
00:29:52I know nobody likes this.
00:29:54Nobody likes this.
00:29:56It's necessary.
00:29:58Calm down.
00:30:00Here...
00:30:02Here comes the...
00:30:04Don't move.
00:30:06Cuchucuta!
00:30:10It's in the tunnel area.
00:30:12It's almost out.
00:30:18Very good, my friend.
00:30:20Now this
00:30:22will put you to sleep.
00:30:26Sweet dreams.
00:30:32Rest well, baby.
00:30:36Hmm...
00:30:40This thing won't put anyone to sleep.
00:30:42I'm waiting for you
00:30:44to fall asleep.
00:30:46I'm going to pick up my diamond and leave.
00:30:48Hmm...
00:30:52Ahhh...
00:30:54Ahhh...
00:31:06Hmm...
00:31:08Hmm...
00:31:22Ahh...
00:31:24Ahh...
00:31:26Ahh...
00:31:28Ahh...
00:31:34Ahh...
00:31:38Hmm...
00:31:42Hmm...
00:31:44Hmm...
00:31:50Hmm...
00:32:08Come here.
00:32:10Come with daddy.
00:32:12Hmm...
00:32:14Where are you?
00:32:16Where are you?
00:32:18Here.
00:32:20Here you are.
00:32:22I love you.
00:32:24Hmm...
00:32:26Hmm...
00:32:38I hope this idiot answers the phone.
00:32:42Phone ringing
00:32:44Phone ringing
00:32:46Phone ringing
00:32:48Phone ringing
00:32:50Phone ringing
00:32:52Phone ringing
00:32:54Oh, but who comes up with
00:32:56talking at this time?
00:32:58As if no one lived here,
00:33:00better call another house.
00:33:02Productions P, in association with
00:33:04the girls of entertainment.
00:33:06I'm Calvin.
00:33:08Calvin, what's going on?
00:33:10I need you to come for me.
00:33:12Aha, hands up.
00:33:14Who are you talking to, cute baby?
00:33:20Ah, don't come to me with that
00:33:22nonsense of ka-ka-ka-ga-ga-ga.
00:33:24Give me the damn phone.
00:33:26Who is it?
00:33:28Sorry, I don't speak Spanish.
00:33:30Wrong number.
00:33:32What do you mean you don't speak Spanish?
00:33:34I went to the kitchen and found
00:33:36this guy on the phone.
00:33:38He must be looking for the safe.
00:33:40We don't have a safe.
00:33:42And you don't know?
00:33:44Oh, grandpa.
00:33:46It's a baby.
00:33:48It's his first night in a new house.
00:33:50Maybe he couldn't sleep.
00:33:52Look at you, you look bad, old man.
00:33:54With a rifle and red socks.
00:33:56You look like a crazy drug addict.
00:33:58Save that and go to sleep.
00:34:00Oh, you're good, very good.
00:34:02Oh, obscene signs, eh?
00:34:04Where did you learn that?
00:34:06On TV? In a video?
00:34:10Enough, baby.
00:34:12Don't listen to him.
00:34:14He's just a crazy old man.
00:34:16I'm going to give you something
00:34:18so you can sleep well, okay?
00:34:32Little Calvin.
00:34:34Your first night must be difficult.
00:34:36But I'm also new at being a dad, eh?
00:34:38Give me a minute and I'll have everything ready.
00:34:44I can already imagine the kind of life
00:34:46you will have led.
00:34:48But you know what?
00:34:50This weekend will be the best of your life.
00:34:52And you know why?
00:34:54Because I'm going to show you
00:34:56how good it is to have a dad
00:34:58and you're going to teach me
00:35:00Vanessa doesn't think she can do it,
00:35:02but I know I can.
00:35:04You know why?
00:35:06Because I will never leave my son.
00:35:08Never.
00:35:10I will always be there for him.
00:35:12And there will never be a moment
00:35:14when my son can't come up to me
00:35:16and talk to me about anything in the world
00:35:18with a delicious cup of hot milk.
00:35:20Mmm.
00:35:22Why are you laughing?
00:35:24Tell me, what's so funny?
00:35:26You're drinking Janet's breast milk.
00:35:30Darryl, you did the right thing
00:35:32by letting her stay here this weekend.
00:35:38But you know what?
00:35:40We can still have our own.
00:35:44Yes, I know.
00:35:46And you know what's good about
00:35:48you not being pregnant?
00:35:50What?
00:35:52That we can keep trying.
00:36:04Darling.
00:36:06What?
00:36:08What do we do with the baby?
00:36:10He's asleep, don't worry about him.
00:36:12Darling.
00:36:14Darling.
00:36:18He's looking at us.
00:36:22He's too innocent to know what's going on.
00:36:24Let him be.
00:36:26Of course.
00:36:44Good morning.
00:36:46Better yet,
00:36:48excellent morning.
00:36:50I think someone managed
00:36:52to rest very well last night.
00:36:54Who could sleep?
00:36:56You were an animal last night.
00:36:58Oh, well, it's just that...
00:37:00I don't remember the last time
00:37:02we did it twice in one night.
00:37:04Twice?
00:37:06Hey, what time did he go to bed?
00:37:08Oh, I don't know.
00:37:10How did he get off the cradle?
00:37:12He's a very skilled baby.
00:37:18Do you want me to serve you breakfast?
00:37:24Twice?
00:37:30Let's play catch.
00:37:32Or climb trees.
00:37:34Or a kite.
00:37:36We can fly.
00:37:38We can play.
00:37:40Summertime and a-livin'.
00:37:42How's my little girl this morning?
00:37:44Excellent, thank you.
00:37:46How are you?
00:37:48I'm fine, thank you.
00:37:50Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:56Tibet, Tibet, Tibet.
00:37:58Don't say Tibet.
00:38:00I don't know what you're talking about.
00:38:02Tibet, Tibet, Tibet, Tibet.
00:38:04Keep quiet.
00:38:06Tibet.
00:38:08Let Calvin watch what he wants.
00:38:10Behave like an adult
00:38:12and let Calvin watch his show.
00:38:14I want to watch the news.
00:38:16I don't care what you want to watch, Dad.
00:38:18He was watching TV before.
00:38:20Yeah, sure, the news, the news.
00:38:22The world is going to hell.
00:38:38Mmm.
00:38:54Mmm.
00:39:08Mmm.
00:39:38Mmm.
00:40:08A ver, bebé.
00:40:10Vamos a darte de comer.
00:40:12Aquí está.
00:40:14Abre la boca.
00:40:16Aquí viene el avioncito.
00:40:22Ah, ya entendí.
00:40:24Quieres jugar a taparte los ojos, ¿eh?
00:40:26Ya entendí, ya entendí, ya entendí.
00:40:28Me tapo los ojos.
00:40:30Ya te vi.
00:40:32No te veo.
00:40:34Y ya te vi.
00:40:38¿Dónde la puse?
00:40:48No es posible que esto me pase.
00:40:58¿Darry?
00:41:00¿Dónde la puse?
00:41:04¡Ah!
00:41:08Querido, olvide mi bolso.
00:41:10Darry.
00:41:12Cariño, cariño.
00:41:14No puedes quedarte dormido así.
00:41:16Ay, querido, sé que estás cansado,
00:41:18pero debes cuidar al bebé.
00:41:20Si no hubiera regresado por mi bolso,
00:41:22no sé qué habría pasado.
00:41:24No, es que yo...
00:41:26Darry.
00:41:28Es que estaba...
00:41:30Solo, cariño, llévalo al parque
00:41:32o haz algo, ¿de acuerdo?
00:41:34¿Sí?
00:41:36¿Sí?
00:41:44Ya te vi.
00:41:46¿Y luego qué?
00:41:52¿Quieres jugar a béisbol?
00:41:54Y también vamos a jugar a fútbol.
00:41:56Y vamos a volar un avioncito.
00:41:58Y nos vamos a divertir.
00:42:00Eso es, hijo.
00:42:06Muy bien, hijo.
00:42:08No tengas miedo.
00:42:10Y le pegas con el bate, ¿de acuerdo?
00:42:12Lo que importa es que mantengas la vista en la bola.
00:42:14Eso es todo.
00:42:16Ahí va.
00:42:20Sí.
00:42:22Si quieres que el cohete vuele,
00:42:24tienes que darle mucho aire, ¿entendido?
00:42:26Eso es, eso es.
00:42:28Ponle más, ponle más.
00:42:30Para que vuele, para que vuele muy alto.
00:42:32Eso es.
00:42:34No oprimas ese botón, no.
00:42:38Ahora lo que tienes que hacer es lanzarlo
00:42:40con toda la fuerza que tengas en el brazo
00:42:42hacia arriba, ¿ya me entendiste?
00:42:44Eso es, ahora hazlo.
00:42:48Mira.
00:42:52Es un misil.
00:42:56¿Adónde se fue?
00:43:04Los patos te enseñan de forma divertida.
00:43:06Te lo crees tú si quieres.
00:43:08Te encantará.
00:43:10Oye, el papá sustituto.
00:43:12¿Cómo te ha ido?
00:43:14Diseñaron todos los juguetes para que te peguen
00:43:16donde más duele.
00:43:18Oh, sí.
00:43:20Richard, apuesto a que mi hijo puede darle una paliza
00:43:22a cualquier chico con los ojos vendados
00:43:24y con una mano atada a la espalda.
00:43:26¿Qué pasa, Greg?
00:43:28Nicholas es un niño dulce y sensible,
00:43:30no es boxeador.
00:43:32Saben que ahora los niños tienen que ser rudos.
00:43:34El más pequeño rasgo de debilidad
00:43:36y entonces terminan...
00:43:40Así, como él.
00:43:42Yo no sé mucho, pero si soy sincero
00:43:44debo decir que me gusta ser padre.
00:43:46Es agradable.
00:43:48Puedo hacer todas esas cosas que nunca hice con mi padre.
00:43:50¿Entienden?
00:43:52Eso es tierno.
00:43:54En serio, creo que estoy siendo una influencia positiva para él.
00:43:56¡Gané!
00:43:58Busquen en su ropita elegante,
00:44:00y ¡páguenme!
00:44:02¡Rápido! ¡Sí!
00:44:04¡Quiero su dinero en la banca!
00:44:06El dinero de su mamá. ¡No me hagan trampas!
00:44:08¡Sigan jugando! ¡Sigan jugando!
00:44:10Pero de niños, hasta el quince.
00:44:12Oigan, si me traen su dinero mañana,
00:44:14les enseñaré mujeres con poca ropa.
00:44:18¿Qué dije? ¿Qué no les gustan las mujeres?
00:44:20¿Puedo comprar un helado?
00:44:22Claro, nena. ¿De qué sabor?
00:44:24De vainilla.
00:44:26Enseguida. Iré contigo.
00:44:28Janet, hazme un favor, ¿sí?
00:44:30¿Cuidas a Calvin un momento?
00:44:32Sí, no hay problema.
00:44:34¡Calvin!
00:44:36¡Percy!
00:44:38¿Tienes el diamante?
00:44:40Sí, está en la pañalera. Ven.
00:44:42¡Calvin!
00:44:44¿Cuál es?
00:44:46La del pato, tonto.
00:44:48Todas tienen un pato.
00:44:50Es aquella.
00:44:54Oye, ese hombre no trae un niño.
00:44:56¡Oiga, aléjese de él!
00:44:58¡Hay un ladrón!
00:45:04¿Estás bien?
00:45:06¿Te tocó ese hombre?
00:45:08No.
00:45:10¿Todo está en orden, Janet?
00:45:12No, claro que no. Un pervertido intentó huir con el pequeño Calvin.
00:45:14Y ese loco se llevó mi pañalera.
00:45:16¿Qué?
00:45:22Nos vamos a casa para que estés tranquilo y seguro.
00:45:26¡Llaves! ¡Llaves! ¡Quiero las llaves!
00:45:28¿Qué?
00:45:30¡Que yo! ¡Que yo! ¡Yo las quiero! ¡Quiero las llaves!
00:45:32No, no, no.
00:45:34Papá las necesita para conducir.
00:45:36¡Ay, no!
00:45:38¡Que sí! ¡Yo las quiero!
00:45:40¡Ay, Dios!
00:45:42¡No! ¡Llaves! ¡No! ¡Quiero las llaves!
00:45:44¡No, no! ¡Las necesito!
00:45:46¡Que las quiero!
00:45:48¡Ay, Dios!
00:45:50¡Ya está! ¡Ya está!
00:45:52Ven acá.
00:45:54Tú juega aquí un momento y yo regreso.
00:46:02¡Oiga!
00:46:04¡Mi auto! ¡Mi hijo!
00:46:06¡Oiga! ¡Deténgase! ¡Ayuda!
00:46:08¡Ayuda!
00:46:14Acaban de robar mi auto con mi hijo adentro.
00:46:16¡Súbase!
00:46:18Gracias.
00:46:20Atrapemos a ese infeliz.
00:46:24¡Vamos!
00:46:42Mi esposa me matará cuando sepa esto.
00:46:44Mi consejo es que no le digan una sola palabra.
00:46:46Yo dejé a Bobby en el parque una vez
00:46:48y le dije a su papá que estaba en un campamento
00:46:50toda la semana.
00:46:52Hello? I'm on my way. I'll be there in 5 minutes. I already have the cakes.
00:46:57Yes? No, I don't think we need them. You didn't tell me that!
00:47:01Excuse me?
00:47:02I'm going to hang you!
00:47:03We're going to crash!
00:47:04I'm going to hang you! Don't yell at me!
00:47:07You're driving so badly, you idiot!
00:47:10Come on, my love! You can do it! You can do it!
00:47:22Oh, poor thing is in pain, sir.
00:47:25You know what makes me feel good?
00:47:27Knowing that there are parents who worry about the safety of their children.
00:47:30What?
00:47:31Just like me.
00:47:32Mommy, mommy, mommy!
00:47:33If I have a second heart, I'm painting my lips!
00:47:38What?
00:47:39I think it's done.
00:47:44Ma'am! Ma'am!
00:47:45What are you doing?
00:47:47Ma'am, excuse me!
00:47:49Over there!
00:47:51Ma'am!
00:47:53Can you pass me the handkerchief, please?
00:47:54Ma'am, shut up!
00:47:56Oh, my God! We're going to crash!
00:48:04Oh, my God!
00:48:05Calm down, sir. We're really going to find your baby.
00:48:08Oh, God! Why are you doing this? Why?
00:48:17Oh, no!
00:48:20To the side!
00:48:30Freeze! Police! Don't move!
00:48:32Clear!
00:48:33The suspect escaped!
00:48:34Yes, sir!
00:48:36But the baby is okay!
00:48:38My baby!
00:48:42Don't worry, baby. Your dad's on his way.
00:48:46Thank you for everything. Goodbye.
00:48:49By the way, sir, drive the van in case you need to take your baby to school.
00:48:54Oh, my son!
00:48:56Mommy!
00:48:58Son, are you okay?
00:48:59Yes.
00:49:01He's okay, but the car broke down.
00:49:03The car doesn't matter. What matters is that you're okay.
00:49:06My baby, I'm so sorry. I'll be more careful. I promise.
00:49:09I don't want anything bad to happen to you.
00:49:11I love you so much, my baby.
00:49:13Oh, yes.
00:49:15Mr. Boken.
00:49:16Yes?
00:49:17Your son did the right thing. Here it is.
00:49:21Show it to me.
00:49:23Watch my drink, baby.
00:49:38Keep looking! Keep digging! There it is!
00:49:40There's the baby!
00:49:42Keep looking!
00:49:43Keep looking!
00:49:45Mr. Boken, do you want to take a deep breath?
00:49:51It's a dirty diaper, Percy.
00:49:53Huh?
00:49:54I just touched a smelly diaper.
00:49:56Wait a minute.
00:49:57Wow, this baby ate lasagna last night.
00:49:59I know it's here! The diamond is here! He said the diamond was here!
00:50:03The 24 hours are over, Percy.
00:50:09And you haven't given me my diamond.
00:50:11Do you know how it makes me feel?
00:50:13Huh?
00:50:14Please, Mr. Boken, give me more time. I promise I'll bring it.
00:50:17I feel like hurting you.
00:50:20But I won't.
00:50:22Because the diamond means more to me than your life.
00:50:25Now get out of here and get me that diamond.
00:50:30Get out of here.
00:50:31I promise. I'll bring it.
00:50:35Follow him. Look for your partner.
00:50:37Bring my diamond and bury them alive.
00:50:41Aren't you taking this too seriously?
00:50:43I didn't even know there were strength shirts for kids.
00:50:45No, I told you. I'm not going to risk it. This kid is dangerous.
00:50:48Maybe I shouldn't go to the game.
00:50:50Are you crazy?
00:50:51Detroit is playing today, Darryl.
00:50:54Unpack that ugly bastard and we'll take him.
00:51:00Do you think it's the best idea?
00:51:02Yes, Richard. Yes, I think it's the best idea.
00:51:04It's a good time for him to be a Chicago fanatic.
00:51:09Okay, I'm going.
00:51:10That's it. Unpack it.
00:51:12Okay, but when the ladies ask, I was the one who said no.
00:51:15No.
00:51:22Are you ready to see an exciting hockey game?
00:51:24It's an ice hockey game.
00:51:26It's the best game of the season. I was waiting for it.
00:51:28Yes, sir.
00:51:34That's it. We're going to win.
00:51:37Come on!
00:51:39Let's go!
00:51:42Isn't it exciting?
00:51:43Hey, what's in your mouth, my little Calvin?
00:51:47What's in your mouth? Open your mouth. Dad wants to see.
00:51:49Open.
00:51:51Correct. There's nothing.
00:51:52What's going on?
00:51:56Look! That's it!
00:51:59Yes!
00:52:07Do you want more beer?
00:52:09No, I still have some.
00:52:12Yes, I always do.
00:52:18What about you? Do you want something to drink?
00:52:20Yes, I want a beer.
00:52:22I want one, too, please.
00:52:24Here you go.
00:52:26Here you go.
00:52:27What a backstabber.
00:52:32Rascal.
00:52:33Rascal.
00:52:35Witch.
00:52:47Why are you doing that, miss?
00:52:50What did I do to you?
00:52:51Do you know her?
00:52:52No, I don't know her.
00:52:54I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
00:52:56Hey, old man.
00:52:57What?
00:52:58Buy yours.
00:52:59What?
00:53:00The beer is empty.
00:53:01Then buy another one.
00:53:02That's not fair.
00:53:04That can't be.
00:53:05That was a foul.
00:53:09Traitor.
00:53:10That's not fair.
00:53:12Traitor.
00:53:13Damn traitor.
00:53:14Shut up, idiots.
00:53:15Are you talking about me?
00:53:16Come and play like men.
00:53:18Shut up, pendentiero.
00:53:19Stupid pendentiero.
00:53:20Get out of there, princess.
00:53:21Do it.
00:53:22Fight with someone your size.
00:53:24Then you get out.
00:53:29Who did it?
00:53:30Who did it?
00:53:34You.
00:53:36Let's fight.
00:53:39Let me go.
00:53:42To one side.
00:53:43Help me.
00:53:44I can't.
00:53:46Fight.
00:53:49Let go of my ear.
00:53:51Don't bite me.
00:53:54Don't mess with me.
00:53:56Let him go.
00:53:57He's just a kid.
00:53:58Let him go.
00:53:59He's just a kid.
00:54:05I don't know, honey.
00:54:06Maybe it's true.
00:54:07Maybe I'm not ready to be a father.
00:54:09Actually, it wasn't your fault.
00:54:12Everything was so fast, baby.
00:54:13I just stopped seeing him for a second.
00:54:15And then, boom.
00:54:16I wouldn't have turned one year old again.
00:54:20Hey.
00:54:21Why don't we do that?
00:54:22Let's throw a party for him.
00:54:24But we don't know when his birthday is.
00:54:26So what?
00:54:27We'll celebrate his birthday tomorrow.
00:54:28We'll throw him a big party.
00:54:29It'll be the best party he's ever had.
00:54:31That's an excellent idea.
00:54:33And...
00:54:34I'll bring a surprise for him.
00:54:37Does anyone know what time it is?
00:54:38It's time to dance and sing
00:54:40and have a lot of fun.
00:54:43Yes, boys and girls.
00:54:44I'm Dinosaur Rex.
00:54:46Your friend, the prehistoric dinosaur.
00:54:48Now tell me, where's the birthday boy?
00:54:50Hey, hey.
00:54:51Happy birthday, Zopi.
00:54:52Happy birthday, my dear friend.
00:54:54You're disgusting, Zopi.
00:54:55I've got a rock stuck in my gut
00:54:57that has my colon as the hour of traffic.
00:54:59Or stop singing your silly children's songs.
00:55:01Or I'll kick your balls, Felpa.
00:55:03Is that clear?
00:55:04Well...
00:55:06It would be better if we talked about manners.
00:55:08Manners are very important.
00:55:10When I was little,
00:55:11my mom once told me that if I had good manners,
00:55:13one day I could become
00:55:15President of the United States of America.
00:55:18But instead of that,
00:55:19you entertain naughty children
00:55:20in a horrible dinosaur blue suit
00:55:22that smells of sweaty armpits and baby urine.
00:55:26I just got out of prison, Dino.
00:55:31I just got out of rehabilitation.
00:55:33By the new food pension law,
00:55:35my wife gets 85% of my dinosaur salary.
00:55:39So if I didn't fear losing this job,
00:55:41I'd kick your ass.
00:55:43Oh, you're so dumb that you need to be
00:55:46I'd kick your ass.
00:55:47Oh, you're so dumb that you need
00:55:48$4.50 an hour?
00:55:50Hey, I'm going to kick your ass!
00:55:55Come on, try it.
00:55:56Come on, come on, come on!
00:55:58Hey!
00:56:12Hey, that was a dirty kick!
00:56:15Hey!
00:56:16Hey!
00:56:17Hey!
00:56:19It has been confirmed that the man driving the car
00:56:21agrees with the description of the suspect
00:56:23in the diamond robbery on Friday.
00:56:24The police are looking for this man.
00:56:25I knew it!
00:56:26His face looks like Calvin,
00:56:27the face of baby Sam.
00:56:28Sam was recently released from prison
00:56:30and for the moment,
00:56:31all that is known...
00:56:32Hey, what do you think
00:56:33if we throw this party
00:56:34with a father-son football game?
00:56:36Football, Greg?
00:56:37I don't know.
00:56:38I don't think it's a good idea.
00:56:39Nicholas is young
00:56:40and too young for football.
00:56:41Why don't we play hide and seek?
00:56:44Richard,
00:56:45your son is practically
00:56:46crouching down to pee.
00:56:47We have to train the kids for life,
00:56:49don't we?
00:56:50We have to harden them a little.
00:56:51I don't know.
00:56:53Let's go.
00:56:54Cheer up!
00:56:55Are you going to play
00:56:56or are you going to take Calvin to the ballet?
00:56:57I'm going.
00:56:58Good.
00:56:59Perfect.
00:57:00Then let's play.
00:57:02Football,
00:57:03that's not in the books.
00:57:04I've read all the books.
00:57:05Yes, you're peeing.
00:57:06Go play football.
00:57:07Are you sure?
00:57:08Richard, let's play!
00:57:09You're already losing!
00:57:11Okay.
00:57:12I'll play football.
00:57:13Put on your sweater, damn it.
00:57:15And here we go!
00:57:17P-O-N-L-E-O
00:57:18Put it in here!
00:57:20P-O-N-L-E-O
00:57:21Put it in here!
00:57:24Tommy, it's the game of
00:57:25dads against kids.
00:57:26Pay attention.
00:57:27Go ahead.
00:57:28Ready?
00:57:29Get ready!
00:57:30I love you, my love!
00:57:31Hut!
00:57:32A secret victory!
00:57:37Do you want the hospital
00:57:38or the grave, dummy?
00:57:41That's how you do it, team!
00:57:42It's a game for kids.
00:57:43Can you stop playing?
00:57:44Easy, easy.
00:57:45I'm sorry, Darryl.
00:57:46Did I hurt your vagina?
00:57:47The team is dynamite!
00:57:49The team is dynamite!
00:57:51What's going on?
00:57:52The team is dynamite!
00:57:54Now!
00:57:58Run, dad!
00:58:02Nicolas, are you okay?
00:58:04Well done, Tommy!
00:58:05Yeah!
00:58:06Move me carefully.
00:58:08We did it, son, we did it!
00:58:10That's why we put creatinine
00:58:11in the cereal.
00:58:12Are you okay?
00:58:13Hit him!
00:58:14Hit him in the eyes
00:58:15and crush him!
00:58:18Here we go!
00:58:21Watch out!
00:58:22Here we go, here we go!
00:58:29Your husband is a brute.
00:58:31That's not fair!
00:58:32You should be ashamed
00:58:33of your behavior!
00:58:34What's wrong with you, Greg?
00:58:35He's just a kid.
00:58:36Hey, Darryl.
00:58:37Darryl, shut your mouth.
00:58:38It's for husbands!
00:58:39It's football!
00:58:40It's football!
00:58:41It's football!
00:58:42What do you want to do?
00:58:43What do you want to do?
00:58:44Calm down!
00:58:45They're not mediocre.
00:58:46They're useless!
00:58:47It's time to beat them up.
00:58:48Come on.
00:58:49Ready?
00:58:51Now!
00:58:57Nicolas!
00:58:59Watch out!
00:59:01Tommy!
00:59:02How did you hear that?
00:59:03Get up!
00:59:09Yeah!
00:59:10Yeah!
00:59:14Tommy!
00:59:15What's wrong with you?
00:59:16What's wrong?
00:59:17Do you think this is a game?
00:59:18I told you to stay in the area.
00:59:19You have to eat thunder and evacuate.
00:59:21Son of a bitch!
00:59:22Do you want me to get you up?
00:59:23Come on, come on.
00:59:25Greg, it's a game.
00:59:26Calm down.
00:59:27Don't meddle, Darryl.
00:59:28He's my son.
00:59:30Ready, boys.
00:59:31We either score or die.
00:59:32Last point wins.
00:59:35Nicolas, ready?
00:59:36Ready?
00:59:38Uva Morada!
00:59:40Uva Morada, 15!
00:59:42Ready?
00:59:43Go!
00:59:50Run, Nicolas, run!
00:59:51Come on, come on!
00:59:53Come here!
00:59:54Run!
00:59:57Did you see that?
00:59:58What are you waiting for? Get up!
00:59:59Run, Nicolas, run!
01:00:03Tommy, run!
01:00:04Yeah!
01:00:05The team is...
01:00:06Dynamite!
01:00:07The team is...
01:00:08Dynamite!
01:00:09This is my son.
01:00:10That's my son!
01:00:11That's my son!
01:00:12You did it, son.
01:00:13You're evacuating thunder.
01:00:15Nine months in here.
01:00:16Yes!
01:00:18Dad, dad!
01:00:20Yes, son.
01:00:21How mediocre!
01:00:22Oh, son.
01:00:23They saw me in the pee.
01:00:25Get up, asshole.
01:00:29Yeah.
01:00:30Ready, boys?
01:00:31Here it comes.
01:00:32We sing at three, okay?
01:00:33One...
01:00:34Two...
01:00:35Three!
01:00:36Happy birthday to you!
01:00:40They want to make fun of me.
01:00:43Everyone wants me to look like a fool.
01:00:46I cried again.
01:00:48I didn't cry when I went to prison.
01:00:50And now I'm not going to cry.
01:00:53I never had, mom,
01:00:55a birthday party.
01:00:58Today is my birthday
01:00:59and I want to smile.
01:01:04There's still time.
01:01:07Congratulations!
01:01:09What is this?
01:01:11I brought a gift to the boy.
01:01:12I was rude to him.
01:01:14It's not easy when you're the only
01:01:15center of attention at home
01:01:16and suddenly a child comes,
01:01:17a baby.
01:01:19I want you to know that from now on
01:01:20he will be my friend.
01:01:22Calvin,
01:01:24make a wish.
01:01:26I want all your wishes
01:01:27to come true.
01:01:33Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:01:42Oh, I'm glad you're here.
01:01:43The inflatable is around the corner
01:01:44of the house.
01:01:46No, I came to pick up my son.
01:01:49The little one, the little man.
01:01:51Your son?
01:01:52That's right.
01:01:53Do you think I can't do it?
01:01:54I've recovered,
01:01:55so give me my son
01:01:56and I'll take him home.
01:01:58You're the idiot
01:02:00who left his baby at my door
01:02:01in a basket.
01:02:03That's right.
01:02:04It was a mistake.
01:02:05The idiot who put a tattoo
01:02:06on his son?
01:02:07Wait a minute.
01:02:08I can explain.
01:02:09His mom was at work.
01:02:10The person responsible
01:02:11for his baby getting a wound
01:02:12in the belly?
01:02:13Wait a minute.
01:02:14I needed discipline.
01:02:15I should castrate you.
01:02:16What?
01:02:17Nobody messes with
01:02:18my personal things.
01:02:19I have two great reasons
01:02:20to defend them.
01:02:21And let me tell you something.
01:02:22I don't have to give you
01:02:23explanations.
01:02:24I'm an adult.
01:02:25You just ran into
01:02:26the worst of the Brooklyn brothers.
01:02:27You ran into the dragon,
01:02:28my friend,
01:02:29and I assure you
01:02:30I'm going to beat you up.
01:02:31Look how I do it.
01:02:32Look at this.
01:02:36I don't want to fight.
01:02:39Now get out
01:02:40and don't come back.
01:02:44I want my mom.
01:02:46I think your partner
01:02:47decided to stay
01:02:48with the diamond.
01:02:50We have to tell Mr. Wilkins.
01:02:51Yes.
01:02:53That's it.
01:02:55Oh, how delicious.
01:02:58Honestly, Janet,
01:02:59I don't know how you do it.
01:03:00What are you talking about, dear?
01:03:01Of all this,
01:03:02paternity,
01:03:03responsibility.
01:03:04It's not different
01:03:05from any other career.
01:03:07You have to work,
01:03:08plan, budget,
01:03:09of course.
01:03:10But the big difference
01:03:11is that I want to kiss my boss
01:03:12all day long
01:03:15and I do it
01:03:16without being accused
01:03:17of sexual harassment.
01:03:19And don't you miss
01:03:20your job?
01:03:21You know,
01:03:22sometimes I think
01:03:23I've missed it.
01:03:24But I haven't forgotten
01:03:25that all they wanted from me
01:03:26was the money
01:03:27I made for them.
01:03:28And now I'm in this.
01:03:29And this is real.
01:03:30These kids love me.
01:03:31I am
01:03:33their diva,
01:03:34their giant,
01:03:35their goddess.
01:03:36And I'm perfect.
01:03:37Am I not perfect?
01:03:40Mommy,
01:03:41I don't feel well.
01:03:42What's wrong, honey?
01:03:43Does your stomach hurt?
01:03:44Uh-huh.
01:03:45Yes?
01:03:46It could be
01:03:47because you ate
01:03:4815 plates of ice cream
01:03:49and cake
01:03:50and a balloon.
01:03:51Yes.
01:03:53Oh,
01:03:54are you going to be okay?
01:03:56Oh, yes,
01:03:57with a teaspoon
01:03:58of this.
01:03:59This is magic.
01:04:00And it will make
01:04:01poop in a couple of hours.
01:04:04And everything will come out.
01:04:07That's it.
01:04:09It will be better
01:04:10if you take it.
01:04:11Yes.
01:04:12We're leaving.
01:04:13Do you want to go?
01:04:14And you too.
01:04:15Yes?
01:04:16Olive oil.
01:04:17Give this girl
01:04:18something to eat.
01:04:19Oh,
01:04:20give her something to eat.
01:04:21Okay, see you soon.
01:04:22Yes.
01:04:23Goodbye.
01:04:25Let's go, honey.
01:04:26What a good boy
01:04:27you are.
01:04:48Oh, honey.
01:04:49What?
01:04:50Oh.
01:04:51What's wrong?
01:04:52Oh, honey.
01:04:54Oh, what's wrong with the little man?
01:04:56I don't think he feels well.
01:04:57Are you okay?
01:04:58Oh.
01:05:01Does it hurt?
01:05:02Do you want to poop?
01:05:03Oh.
01:05:05He wants to poop.
01:05:07He's pooping the baby.
01:05:12What's wrong with my baby?
01:05:14Oh.
01:05:15Oh.
01:05:16Oh.
01:05:19Oh.
01:05:20Oh.
01:05:21Oh.
01:05:22Oh.
01:05:23Oh.
01:05:24Oh.
01:05:26Oh.
01:05:30Mom?
01:05:31Me too.
01:05:38Calvin, let's go.
01:05:39Let's go.
01:05:46Oh,
01:05:47Oh,
01:05:48Mother of God.
01:05:49Oh, God.
01:05:51I can't believe you did this.
01:05:53What?
01:05:54This! This! Daryl! It's so beautiful!
01:05:57And it was so romantic that you put it on Gal's handkerchief when I changed his handkerchief.
01:06:01Although I don't like to change it, and...
01:06:03But no!
01:06:04We must go out to celebrate it. What do you think?
01:06:06Today we celebrate it. I'm going to change. Thank you, my love. It's beautiful.
01:06:08I love it! I love it! I love it!
01:06:10I love it! I love it! I love it!
01:06:11Hey! I need to talk to you! Don't go, my love!
01:06:17Are you sure you're going to be okay?
01:06:19We'll be fine, right, my beautiful?
01:06:22I love it!
01:06:24Have fun! We'll do it!
01:06:28See you soon!
01:06:30We'll have fun with this beautiful baby!
01:06:34Right? It's so beautiful, right? It's so beautiful!
01:06:38The pretty boy is a very pretty boy!
01:06:43Now confess, criminal! Who are you?
01:06:45Where do you come from? What do you do? What is all this?
01:06:48Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
01:06:50Look, old man. You've been very annoying, like a kick.
01:06:53And yes, I stole the jewelry store.
01:06:55And now, there are some bandits looking for me.
01:06:58And the people you love will be hurt if I don't get the diamond back.
01:07:01And I don't want that to happen, so you'd better get out of my way!
01:07:11Hello? Percy, it's me.
01:07:13I'll be here in an hour, and then I'll have the diamond.
01:07:15How can you do this to us?
01:07:17We took you in because we thought you were a needy child, but you're a bad-living thief!
01:07:21Hey, it wasn't my intention to get so far.
01:07:23I just want to get my diamond back, and I'm leaving!
01:07:25You won't get away with this!
01:07:26Then it's time to dance, old man.
01:07:28Come on!
01:07:29My love, I...
01:07:31Honey, I know this means a lot to me.
01:07:34I know it's not real, look at the size. There's no way you could pay for it, but...
01:07:38It's what the ring represents. It's what makes it so special to me.
01:07:42About that, dear, I wanted to tell you...
01:07:43No, let me finish.
01:07:45I know you're not the one who's not ready.
01:07:47It's me.
01:07:48I've always needed everything to be well-programmed, and you...
01:07:51You've shown me that sometimes life doesn't work like that.
01:07:54It's unpredictable, and sometimes you have to move on, and...
01:07:57I'll never be ready, so it's better now.
01:07:59Vanessa, I want to explain...
01:08:00So, what better way to do it?
01:08:03Do what?
01:08:05We have to adopt him.
01:08:06Tomorrow, we'll take the baby to child care, and we'll start the paperwork.
01:08:10Can we adopt him?
01:08:12Yes!
01:08:13Yes!
01:08:15So, what did you want to tell me?
01:08:19Nothing.
01:08:20Nothing, I just wanted to toast.
01:08:22With pleasure.
01:08:27Don't mess with a man from Detroit, and you know it. I was born there.
01:08:31What the hell are you doing?
01:08:33Dad, leave him alone, he's a baby.
01:08:36He's not a baby, he's a criminal.
01:08:38I'm sick of you. I'll call the shelter.
01:08:40I'm not crazy. I know what he is, and what he isn't.
01:08:44He's not what he says he is.
01:08:46What he is, is a trap.
01:08:48Check on Felpa's bear.
01:08:50Felpa's bear. Felpa's bear.
01:08:52We'll take good care of your father.
01:08:54The shelter is a safe establishment.
01:08:56Give him a couple of days to adapt, and visit him.
01:08:59Let me go!
01:09:08And believe me, he's not who he says he is.
01:09:10Use an electrode if necessary.
01:09:13Check on the bear, check on the bear.
01:09:19I'll take him to his bed.
01:09:21Correct.
01:09:30Damn it.
01:09:32How can a child put a house upside down on a weekend?
01:09:35How is all this? What a mess.
01:09:43Check on the bear.
01:09:44Felpa's bear. Felpa's bear knows.
01:09:49He's the bad guy.
01:09:50No, no, baby. No, no, no, no.
01:09:53Grandpa's not bad. He didn't mean to hurt you.
01:09:55He's just a little...
01:09:57tired.
01:10:04I'm sorry.
01:10:05I'm sorry.
01:10:06I'm sorry.
01:10:07I'm sorry.
01:10:08I'm sorry.
01:10:09I'm sorry.
01:10:10I'm sorry.
01:10:11Dad.
01:10:17No.
01:10:41Vanessa!
01:10:43Vanessa!
01:10:44Where's Calvin?
01:10:45I put him in the...
01:10:47Where's the diamond?
01:10:48It's...
01:10:50It's not there!
01:10:51Damn it! Grandpa didn't lie! I'll call the police!
01:10:53Dad, what did I do?
01:10:54I'll go get him!
01:10:56Dad!
01:10:57I have information on the stolen diamond.
01:11:00That's what I'm talking about.
01:11:02We did it! We're rich, my friend!
01:11:05Yes, and just at the last moment.
01:11:07It's shining.
01:11:09Goken and his thugs are going to that house!
01:11:11What?
01:11:12Be careful! He thinks Darryl is my partner.
01:11:14Idiot! He's going to kill him if he doesn't find the diamond!
01:11:17Exactly!
01:11:18Therefore, he won't chase you.
01:11:20It's perfect!
01:11:21We escaped without consequences.
01:11:25Is it time for you to hit me?
01:11:29I'll stop the car for a moment.
01:11:34Evil dwarf, that's why you don't grow!
01:11:36Finally, the police.
01:11:38Hey!
01:11:40Hey, can I help you with something?
01:11:42Is this the man who betrayed Percy?
01:11:44Yes, he is, boss.
01:11:45I don't know anyone named Percy. They made a mistake.
01:11:48Stop lying. I want my diamond, you idiot!
01:11:50I don't have it.
01:11:51What a shame!
01:11:52Because we're going to have to get it out of you.
01:11:54I want you to know that I called the police and they're on their way here right now.
01:11:57Really? Then we don't have much time.
01:12:00Boys.
01:12:01Calm down, calm down, calm down, boys, calm down.
01:12:04Tata?
01:12:07Tata.
01:12:09Who is this boy?
01:12:11He's my son.
01:12:15Take him away from here.
01:12:18I want to talk to you.
01:12:19The diamond!
01:12:21I don't have it!
01:12:22We're leaving like this?
01:12:27You're going to sleep.
01:12:28To suck?
01:12:30And you don't have it.
01:12:31To suck?
01:12:33And don't worry about the noise downstairs.
01:12:35They'll be hitting your daddy.
01:12:39Here.
01:12:44Good night.
01:13:01No, no, no, no, no!
01:13:18Click.
01:13:24Tell me, where is my diamond?
01:13:26I told you I don't have it!
01:13:29If you don't tell me where my diamond is,
01:13:31that sweet boy you have will be hurt.
01:13:40Stupid, go get the boy!
01:13:41Go get him!
01:13:44Don't let him escape!
01:13:50There you are, little friend.
01:13:53Come.
01:13:54Come with Uncle Roscoe.
01:13:59Whoa!
01:14:01No, no, no, no, no.
01:14:03Okay, let's play.
01:14:05No!
01:14:29No!
01:14:32Yes, yes, yes.
01:14:33Come here, come here.
01:14:34Get up.
01:14:36I have the gun.
01:14:38Now you're not so rude, are you?
01:14:44Step aside or I'll shoot.
01:14:46Shoot me, thug.
01:14:50Damn it.
01:14:51I'm surrounded by inept people.
01:14:53Here's your gun, sir.
01:14:55It's all yours.
01:14:57What were you going to do?
01:14:58Tell me!
01:14:59What were you going to do?
01:15:05Listen, kid.
01:15:06You broke my glasses.
01:15:07It's Sergio Da Vinci's.
01:15:08It's $60.25.
01:15:10I don't like it!
01:15:11I don't like it!
01:15:14Very well, little friend.
01:15:15We can do it the easy way,
01:15:17or the rude way.
01:15:18I think the rude way is better.
01:15:28No.
01:15:30We got him.
01:15:31It's all yours.
01:15:40Kid!
01:15:42You woke up the dragon.
01:15:44Get ready to pay.
01:15:46Get ready for the dragon to go back to sleep.
01:15:49Damn it!
01:16:00Where are you going?
01:16:04Stop.
01:16:05You're going to die, Sasquatch!
01:16:06Don't do it!
01:16:19What the hell is going on here?
01:16:21That's not a baby.
01:16:22Who else is here?
01:16:23No one.
01:16:24Who else is here?
01:16:25No one, I swear.
01:16:26Walk.
01:16:28Inside.
01:16:29Inside!
01:16:31There's the little monster.
01:16:32Hey, what do you have there?
01:16:34A little plane.
01:16:35Tell him to get rid of the plane.
01:16:38Say it!
01:16:40Calvin?
01:16:41The little plane.
01:16:42The little plane.
01:16:43The little plane.
01:16:44The little plane.
01:16:45The little plane.
01:16:46The little plane.
01:16:47The little plane.
01:16:48The little plane.
01:16:58What are you doing?
01:17:04Don't move!
01:17:07Don't make me laugh.
01:17:08You won't shoot me.
01:17:11But I will!
01:17:13Don't move, police!
01:17:15Don't move, police!
01:17:17I'll take care of it.
01:17:18Search the house.
01:17:19Black police, come with me!
01:17:21White police, stay here!
01:17:22Believe me, it's not a baby.
01:17:24It's the mastermind behind all this.
01:17:26Take him away.
01:17:28That kid is a murderer!
01:17:32He wants to take that thing from me.
01:17:33Calm down.
01:17:34Where are you going?
01:17:35You're going to want it.
01:17:37I don't want to go to jail.
01:17:38It's too dark.
01:17:39There's no television.
01:17:41Where are you going, little friend?
01:17:45Is it your son?
01:17:49Yes, it's my son.
01:17:51Now, Calvin.
01:17:52Don't you have anything for the police officer, baby?
01:17:56No.
01:17:57Come on.
01:17:58You don't want to go to jail with those bad guys, do you?
01:18:06I don't want to go to jail.
01:18:09How nice, my son.
01:18:10Ah, the diamond.
01:18:12Thank you, son.
01:18:13Your father will receive a reward.
01:18:15Reward?
01:18:16Yes.
01:18:17The insurer offered $100,000 to whoever finds the diamond.
01:18:20$100,000?
01:18:22Oh, my God, I'm going to love it.
01:18:24I'll fix my car,
01:18:25I'll buy a truck for my wife,
01:18:27we'll go on vacation,
01:18:28I'll buy a television, and...
01:18:30Of course, of course.
01:18:31If I have anything left over,
01:18:32I'll buy a gift for my son.
01:18:35Well, we'll be in contact.
01:18:38We'll be in contact.
01:18:48And now?
01:18:49Wait.
01:18:50Let's not get so sentimental.
01:18:52Let's say goodbye and shake hands like men.
01:18:55Understood?
01:18:56No resentments.
01:18:57Yes.
01:18:58No resentments.
01:18:59Good.
01:19:00Besides, it was good to have a son for a few days.
01:19:02Oh, you're going to start with those sentimental things.
01:19:05If that's how you want to play,
01:19:08I think it was good to have you as a dad.
01:19:11Oh, God.
01:19:12It's just that I've never had a dad, and what I want to tell you...
01:19:16What I want to tell you is that you're going to be a great father.
01:19:19Do you understand?
01:19:20That's right, I already said it.
01:19:21Are you happy now?
01:19:22I'm going to go through the back door,
01:19:24and you're never going to see me again.
01:19:27Never.
01:19:28But...
01:19:29No, no, no.
01:19:30We don't...
01:19:31I know.
01:19:32We'll never see each other again.
01:19:34But it's just that...
01:19:35Maybe it was for the best.
01:19:36You'll start a family and you won't need such a bad criminal.
01:19:39Like Calvin Samson, your life will never be...
01:19:41What I was going to say is that we don't have a back door.
01:19:44I understand.
01:19:45Then I'm going to go through the front door.
01:19:48Good.
01:19:49Well...
01:19:51I'll be out of your life from now on,
01:19:53and I'll never ever come back.
01:19:55Correct.
01:20:00Goodbye.
01:20:01Goodbye.
01:20:07Aren't you going to miss me?
01:20:09Not even a little bit?
01:20:10Maybe we'll see each other later.
01:20:12No.
01:20:14Take care.
01:20:15See you soon.
01:20:17It was so hard to say goodbye.
01:20:23Nobody loves Calvin.
01:20:26Nobody loves me for being a bird.
01:20:36Nobody loves Calvin for being a bird.
01:20:39For being a bird.
01:20:43Hey, little man.
01:20:46Do you want to have a glass of milk?
01:20:56Hey!
01:20:57Let me go, we're not the secretaries in the mountains.
01:20:59Hey, what if we put some wine in the milk?
01:21:02Are you crazy?
01:21:03We have to go to a bar.
01:21:04Good idea.
01:21:05Are you over 21?
01:21:06Many more.
01:21:07Perfect.
01:21:11Hey, I know the best table dance.
01:21:13Shh, don't say it loud, my wife can hear us.
01:21:15Sorry.
01:21:16Do you have change for one of those?
01:21:17Let's give it to Grandma.
01:21:18Good idea.
01:21:19In small bills.
01:21:34You're a very cute boy, yes, of course.
01:21:36You look like your mom and you have a lot of your grandparents.
01:21:39Boo, boo, boo.
01:21:40That's right, little friend, boo.
01:21:42Yes.
01:21:43Where's the kid's bottle?
01:21:44He's hungry.
01:21:45I'm coming, I'm coming.
01:21:48Here it comes, little friend.
01:21:49Don't worry.
01:21:50Here comes your milk.
01:21:54The baby is so cute.
01:21:56It makes me want to cry.
01:21:58He looks like his dad.
01:21:59Da, da, coo, coo.
01:22:02That's right, baby.
01:22:30Whether we're talking man to man
01:22:31Or whether we're talking sun to sun
01:22:33He's my best friend
01:22:36He's my best friend
01:22:40He's my best friend
01:23:00He's my best friend
01:23:04He's my best friend