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00:00Sheldon, I know you're in the zone, but do you want some tea?
00:07All right, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but you haven't spoken in hours and I'm starting to get worried.
00:13Please say something.
00:14Leonard, prepare to be humbled and weep at the glory of my genius.
00:20Nope, it was better before.
00:23Look at it. I feel like my mind just made a baby.
00:29And it's beautiful.
00:31It's not like human babies, which are loud and covered in goop.
00:36Holy crap, Sheldon, did you just figure out a method for synthesizing a new, stable, super-heavy element?
00:42Did I?
00:44Well, that can't be right.
00:46No one's ever done that before.
00:47Except me, because I just did it!
00:49Sheldon and his brain, yeah! Sheldon and his brain, yeah! Sheldon and his brain, yeah! Sheldon and his brain, yeah!
00:56Sheldon and his brain, yeah! Sheldon and his brain, yeah!
01:05Oh my god, it's working.
01:08You sure?
01:09Look, the system is maintaining its own stability. The quantum vortex apparatus is now controlling the orientation.
01:17You're right. You realize what this means?
01:20Yeah, I do. It's proof of concept. We've got a workable guidance system.
01:31Congratulations.
01:32Thanks!
01:37Hey, I just got an email from the U.S. Air Force.
01:42Open it.
01:44We request a meeting at your earliest convenience regarding your quantum guidance system provisional patent 62-295118.
01:52That's weird.
01:55Is there a window around here we don't know about?
01:59I'm sure it's just a coincidence.
02:01Yeah, of course. What else could it be?
02:04Boy, do I love America!
02:07Hey, Leonard, if you're happy and you know it, no need to clap your hands because I have an emotion detector.
02:15How's it working out?
02:17Surprisingly well.
02:18That's great. I'm happy for you.
02:20Hold on.
02:22Oh, you are! Aren't you sweet?
02:25What's that? Are you working on your resume?
02:27No, it's my brother's. I'm trying to help him get a job out here.
02:30Oh, and that makes Leonard angry.
02:34No, it doesn't.
02:35Leonard, please. I know an angry face when I see it. It's this red frowny guy on my phone.
02:42Are you really upset about Randall coming?
02:44No.
02:45Yes.
02:47I said no.
02:48It's like you're twins.
02:51Leonard, if you're mad about this, just tell me.
02:54Fine. You invited your drug dealer brother to stay with us for God knows how long and didn't bother to ask me first.
03:01He's my brother. I didn't think I needed your permission.
03:03Hey, now she's angry too.
03:06This thing works like gangbusters.
03:10I'm not saying you have to ask my permission, but you could have talked to me about it before you said it was okay.
03:14Like you talked to me about your gaming room?
03:17Our gaming room. I was going to put a scented candle in it.
03:21He's still mad.
03:23Stop enjoying their fight.
03:26You first.
03:34Done.
03:3633 seconds. Okay, that'll be our baseline.
03:40You know, I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but when a mouse completes a maze, it gets a food pellet.
03:46It also gets its brain plucked out with tweezers.
03:50And his last meal was a food pellet? You're a monster.
03:56Alright, next we're going to introduce an anxiety-inducing stimulus, measure your stress levels, and see how it affects your problem-solving rate.
04:02Very well.
04:03And good luck. I'm a pretty laid-back guy.
04:08Ready? Begin.
04:33Why'd you pop it?
04:34I'm sorry, I was aiming for your heart.
04:40Look, I know you don't like it, but that's the point of the experiment.
04:42I need to irritate you to find your optimal anxiety zone.
04:46And you said no to tickling, polka music, or watching me eat a banana.
04:51Who eats them horizontally?
04:55My mother said that's how good girls do it.
04:58You know, perhaps this is a waste of time.
05:01Sheldon, you're a remarkable scientist. Just be patient. I'm sure you will find the breakthrough you've been looking for.
05:09And if you only do solid research instead of making a groundbreaking discovery, what does it matter?
05:16Only do solid research? I come to you for help, and you insult me? I thought the least that you would do would be-
05:23I come to you for help, and you insult me? I thought the least that you would do would be-
05:26Look, your anxiety levels are right in the zone.
05:28Really? Oh, that's fantastic.
05:31Now, wait, they're dropping. Why are they dropping?
05:33Because you're happy they're elevated.
05:35Oh, that is infuriating.
05:37Oh, look, they're going back up again. Terrific.
05:39Oh, no, they're going back down!
05:42All right, how's this for revenge?
05:46A solution of hydrogen peroxide and one of saturated potassium iodide.
05:52What's this?
05:53Mountain dew.
05:58Ah, refreshing.
05:59Now, we're going to combine these chemicals with ordinary dish soap, creating a little exothermic release of oxygen.
06:19For me, vengeance.
06:21Yes, exactly.
06:23This is brilliant, Sheldon. How are we going to deploy it in Kripke's office?
06:26Already taken care of. Observe.
06:31This is a live shot of Kripke's lab via a mini webcam I was able to install thanks to a dollar bill discreetly placed in the night janitor's shirt pocket.
06:40At the same time, I also secured large quantities of these chemicals above the tiles in the drop ceiling.
06:47Sheldon, you remind me of a young Lex Luthor.
06:52You flatter me, sir.
06:54Let me guess, motion sensors?
06:56Yes. The reaction will be triggered when Kripke reaches the center of the room. Mwahaha.
07:05I gotta say, I am really impressed. This is truly the Sheldon Cooper way to get even.
07:12It may be low-tech, but I still maintain the whoopee cushion has comic validity.
07:19Here comes Kripke.
07:21Who is that with him?
07:23I believe that's the president of the university.
07:25And the board of directors. Abort, abort!
07:27There is no abort.
07:28Well, how could you not put in an abort?
07:30I made a boo-boo, all right?
07:32I think the board will really appreciate how well we're using that NSA grant, President Sieber.
07:37Right here we have a micro-controlled plasma...
07:47Wow. Looks like the Ganges on laundry day.
07:53At least they don't know it was you.
07:55Hello, Kripke.
07:58This classic prank comes to you from the malevolent mind of Sheldon Cooper.
08:03If you'd like to see the look on your stupid face, this video is being instantly uploaded to YouTube.
08:10Oh, and a hat-tip to Leonard Hofstadter and Raj Koothrappali for their support and encouragement in this enterprise.
08:21Well, I'm going back to India. What's your plan?
08:24To begin with, you will...
08:27Remove funny bones.
08:29To begin with, you will...
08:31Remove funny bone for $200.
08:36For this, I went to MIT.
08:39And begin.
08:46I think I swallowed something.
08:49I can't press any of the buttons with my gloves.
08:53Oh, son of a bitch!
08:56Adversity is to be expected. Continue.
08:59Oh, boy, am I gonna get sued.
09:03Okay, I can't do this.
09:04Me either.
09:05Gentlemen, use your imagination. Innovate.
09:08Did Han Solo let Luke Skywalker freeze to death on the ice planet of Hoth? No.
09:14He cut open a Tauntaun and used its internal body heat to warm him up.
09:19You heard the man. Hold him down and I'll cut him open.
09:22Hang on. I know I don't possess the tools of leadership, but I don't understand why we can't assemble the equipment inside the hut and then take it outside.
09:30I hadn't thought of that.
09:35I guess we're done here.
09:43Here's the problem with teleportation.
09:49Lay it on me.
09:50Lay it on me.
09:52Assuming a device could be invented which would identify the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location and transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly, you would not have actually transported the individual.
10:03You would have destroyed him in one location and recreated him in another.
10:09How about that?
10:12Personally, I would never use a transporter because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon.
10:20Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon?
10:25No, he would be exactly the same.
10:28That is a problem.
10:30So you see it too.
10:32All right, this is an exact duplicate of the Wallowit Zero Gravity Human Waste Disposal System as deployed on the International Space Station.
10:39Don't you mean the Wallowit Zero Gravity Human Waste Distribution System?
10:46Good one.
10:50It's hilarious.
10:51Now, here's an approximation of the spare parts available on the space station.
10:57We've got to find a way using nothing but this to reinforce this so the waste material avoids the spinning turbine.
11:02You mean so it doesn't hit the fan?
11:09Yeah, I have to say I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition.
11:14Apparently there is no law of diminishing comedic returns with space poop.
11:21Houston, International Space Station.
11:23We have a little situation up here.
11:27We'd like to make an unscheduled spacewalk.
11:31ISS Houston, which crew members would be involved in this EVA?
11:35Houston, we'd all like to step outside for a few minutes.
11:40ISS, I'm afraid we can't authorize that.
11:44Houston, this is more of an FYI call.
11:47We are basically out the door.
11:51So I'm going to place this sensory isolation helmet on you for about five minutes.
11:55All you need to do is sit still and relax.
11:58What do I do if I start to get claustrophobic?
12:00Oh, the helmet will sense that and stop the experiment.
12:03Really?
12:04No, but that would be cool, wouldn't it?
12:09Amy, are you busy?
12:10I've got a subject wired up for a sensory study.
12:13So?
12:16Yes, I'm busy.
12:18I'm tracking the subject's brain activity in real time as we introduce olfactory stimuli.
12:22I'm smelling baby powder.
12:25That's just my husband.
12:29Well, I had a thought about our super asymmetry theory.
12:31Let me show you this one thing.
12:32I want to see it, but not when I'm in the middle of an experiment.
12:35Still baby powder.
12:38Well, he is annoying.
12:39You know any of those buttons shock him?
12:43Look, I'm really excited about our paper, too.
12:45But I've got a lot of my own work to catch up on, so let's talk later.
12:48Okay, well let me just say one more thing.
12:49Lambda calculus.
12:51And if that wets your whistle, you know where to find me.
12:53Boop!
12:55Have either of you done sensory deprivation before?
12:58No.
12:59Never.
13:00Okay, just a heads up, people have different experiences in the tanks.
13:03Some people experience perfect calm.
13:06Some people sleep.
13:07Some people even reported having visions.
13:09But if at any time you feel uncomfortable, just press the panic button and say BB.
13:13That's a stupid word.
13:16That's my name.
13:20What do we push if we feel uncomfortable?
13:23All right, are you ready?
13:24I'm not saying this is why we came, but can I close the lid on him?
13:29No.
13:31No.
13:34Shall we?
13:35One second.
13:36Is the pH between 7.2 and 7.8?
13:39Yes.
13:40Is the water drained and replaced after each use?
13:42Yes.
13:43Is the saline level 30%?
13:44Yes.
13:45Does your filtration system use ultraviolet light to kill bacteria?
13:48Yes.
13:49I don't need to get in, I'm relaxed already.
13:58BB.
14:04What's wrong?
14:05Nothing, I just wanted to make sure it worked.
14:08Also, I changed my mind. It's fun to say your name.
14:11BB.
14:12BB.
14:13BB.
14:14BB.
14:15BB.
14:16BB.
14:19Hmm.
14:21This is nice.
14:23Sort of like floating in space.
14:25But better, because my eyeballs haven't frozen.
14:29Ooh, colors.
14:32It's infinite iterations of the Nautilus section of the Mandelbrot set.
14:37Ah, that's some good stuff.
14:45Wow, this is really dark.
14:48There's no difference between my eyes being open or closed.
14:52Open, closed.
14:54Open, closed.
14:55Nope, same thing.
14:59Ooh, pretty.
15:01You winning a Nobel Prize would be an inspiration to all women.
15:05All women, Amy. And you're blowing it.
15:09I was gonna be a scientist, but since you lost, I'm just gonna give makeup tutorials on YouTube.
15:21Look at all the infinite Mandelbrot sets.
15:24Here-brot, there-brot, everywhere Mandelbrot.
15:31Thanks for letting us down.
15:32I'm gonna marry a dope and have his dopey children.
15:35You're such a disappointment.
15:36I can't do science.
15:37Way to not go, girl.
15:38Disappointing.
15:39Math is too hard.
15:41I am woman, hear me bake.
15:42Disappointing.
15:43You're letting us down.
15:44You're letting us down.
15:45Disappointing.
15:46You're blowing it.
15:47Disappointing.
15:48You're blowing it.
15:49You're letting me down.
15:52Okay, hours up. Let's see how they're doing.
15:56Hey, buddy. How you feeling?
15:59Aw, five more minutes.
16:03Hey, Amy. Relax.
16:06I'm a failure. I can't do this.
16:11Can somebody close her lid? She's gonna harshen my mellow.
16:16I had a feeling you were using the wrong computational model, but I didn't say anything because you're so sensitive.
16:21Just because I am easily bothered by light, heat, sound, smell, and the way birds look at me does not mean I'm sensitive.
16:27Hey, I wonder what kind of success we'd have if we defined measurement as the first moment that an action potential is seen by the visual cortex.
16:38That is a daring and insightful solution.
16:41We're finally making progress. I wish we could do it without fighting.
16:45What if the fighting is the reason we're making progress?
16:48I suppose it's conceivable that the hormones associated with our fight-or-flight response could be sharpening our cognitive processes.
16:55Well, if that's the case, then your grandparents mumble and have bad posture.
17:02How dare you speak that way about my Grammy? Hey, wait a second. Wait.
17:10Delta T could equal alpha sub zero.
17:13Delta T could equal alpha sub zero.
17:19Seems we have a choice to make. Abandon all ground rules in the name of science, or give up collaborating for the sake of our relationship.
17:30There's only one clear choice.
17:32Science.
17:33No, you bonehead!
17:36Name-calling. That is perfect. Now, when I get to this equation here, really let me have it. If it helps, I'm not the sharpest dresser.
17:44Hello, Leslie.
17:46Hi, Leonard.
17:47Leslie, I would like to propose an experiment.
17:49Goggles, Leonard.
17:50Right.
17:53Leslie, I would like to propose an experiment.
17:55Hang on. I'm trying to see how long it takes a 500 kilowatt oxygen iodine laser to heat up my cup of noodles.
18:03I've done it. About two seconds. 2.6 for minestrone.
18:07Anyway, I was thinking more of a bio-social exploration with a neurochemical overlay.
18:14Wait, are you asking me out?
18:17I was going to characterize it as a modification of our colleague-slash-friendship paradigm with the addition of a daylight component, but we don't need to quibble over terminology.
18:28What sort of experiment would you propose?
18:30There is a generally accepted pattern in this area. I would pick you up, take you to a restaurant, then we would see a movie, probably a romantic comedy featuring the talents of Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock.
18:41Interesting. And would you agree that the primary way we would evaluate either the success or failure of the date would be based on the biochemical reaction during the goodnight kiss?
18:50Heart rate, pheromones, et cetera, yes.
18:53Well, why don't we just do that?
18:55The reaction during the goodnight kiss?
18:56Heart rate, pheromones, et cetera, yes.
18:59Well, why don't we just stipulate that the date goes well and move to the key variable?
19:03You mean kiss you now?
19:04Yes.
19:05Can you define the parameters of the kiss?
19:07Closed mouth but romantic. Mint?
19:17Shall I count down from three?
19:19No, I think it needs to be spontaneous.
19:26What do you think?
19:27You proposed the experiment, I think you should present your findings first.
19:31Fair enough. On the plus side, it was a good kiss, reasonable technique, no extraneous spittle.
19:39On the other hand, no arousal.
19:42None?
19:43None.
19:45Ah.
19:48Well, thank you for your time.
19:56None at all?
20:02That device there will measure the photons that return and let us see it on this computer.
20:06Raj, get them some glasses.
20:08Cool, it's going to be in 3D?
20:16Preparing to fire laser at the moon. Make it so.
20:26There it is. There's the spike.
20:292.5 seconds for the light to return. That's the moon. We hit the moon.
20:36That's your big experiment?
20:38All that for a line on the screen?
20:40Yeah, but think about what this represents.
20:43The fact that we can do this is the only way of definitively proving that there are man-made objects on the moon.
20:49Put there by a member of a species that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane.
20:54What species is that?
20:59I was wrong. Penny can do better.
21:02Okay, guys, thank you. It's been fun.
21:04Yeah, thanks. Should we invite him to the party?
21:06No, just keep walking.
21:09He must be very skilled at coitus.
21:13You ready to order?
21:14One moment. I'm conducting an experiment.
21:18With Dungeons and Dragons dice?
21:21Yes. From here on in, I've decided to make all trivial decisions with a throw of the dice, thus freeing up my mind to do what it does best.
21:30Enlighten and amaze.
21:34Page 14, item 7.
21:38So, what's for dinner?
21:40A side of corn succotash.
21:44Interesting.
21:46Howard, can I see you for a minute, please?
21:49I don't want to show any more of your friends how I can fit in the booster seats.
21:55No, that's not it. Just come with me, please.
21:59Let's see what I'll be washing that succotash down with.
22:05A pitcher of margaritas.
22:09Do you really want that?
22:11That's the great thing. It doesn't matter. My mind is freed up to think about more important things.
22:17What's it thinking about now?
22:19Hamburgers and lemonade.
22:24Mustache is looking good there, Sheldon.
22:30Don't thank me. Thank the dice. They told me what percentage of my face to shave.
22:35Why are you still doing this?
22:37Because it's working.
22:38In the past few weeks, unburdened by trivial decisions, I've co-authored two papers in notable peer-reviewed journals,
22:45and I'm close to figuring out why the Large Hadron Collider has yet to isolate the Higgs boson particle.
22:51You left out gut-shaped testicles because you no longer wear underpants.
22:59The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.
23:03I don't know about this, Howard.
23:04What? You're having trouble with the long-distance lovemaking? This is your answer.
23:09There are two interfaces that simulate a human mouth. You have one. Priya has one in India.
23:15When you move your lips and tongue on yours, it transmits exactly what you're doing to hers.
23:20See? Internet kissing.
23:29Try.
23:32I don't think so.
23:35I'll try it.
23:42Like this?
23:44Almost. Really get your tongue in there to activate the motion sensor.
23:50Like this?
23:52Close. Really French it.
24:02Better?
24:04Yeah, you got it. You got it.
24:08I'm impressed. This is very lifelike.
24:12Well, you just bit my tongue.
24:14Oh, I nibbled. I was being playful.
24:18Why do you have to make everything weird?
24:22Sorry.
24:28Better? Oh, yeah.
24:29Oh, yeah.
24:33Most people don't realize this technique has actually been around for a few years.
24:37Still, I can't believe you can turn ordinary skin cells into functioning brain cells.
24:41Well, I turned this one into a functioning boyfriend, so sky's the limit.
24:46Look, look. Here I am, standing next to the incubator.
24:52And here is a microscopic view of the cells.
24:56Look at that. Put them in a tiny flash t-shirt and it's you.
25:01This little guy can already recognize electronically transmitted images 20% faster than any other sample in Amy's lab.
25:09I'm running out of ways to act excited.
25:14So, enough about us. How are things going with you?
25:17Great. The doctor said the baby's head is facing down now.
25:20Good. You know, in case the exit isn't clearly marked.
25:25I have to say, it is nice to share this experience with someone who's on the same journey.
25:32Although, right now, ours is testing off the charts while yours is floating around in its own waste.
25:41Are you actually comparing my human baby to your brain in a bowl?
25:47Well, I didn't make you waddle up four flights of stairs for the heck of it.
25:51You do realize my baby has functioning organs and can recognize voices?
25:56Yeah, but ours can recognize a specific data stream among background noise.
26:02Mine has a fully developed immune system.
26:05Ours doesn't need an immune system because it lives in a state-of-the-art German incubator.
26:09Sheldon, that's enough.
26:11Fine. Let's just agree that both creations are special in their own way and it is foolish to try and compare them.
26:17Although, we didn't need to have sex with Howard for ours, so we win.
26:22And with apologies to Lady Gaga, that's how a star is born.
26:29Told you he was going to mention Lady Gaga.
26:33At least he didn't talk about how much he cried during that movie.
26:37Although, if you haven't seen that movie, you should. I cried so much.
26:41Well, that's the lecture for today. Let's open it up for questions.
26:48Oh, you, sir. Yes, you have a question.
26:51Yeah. Actually, I have a two-part question.
26:54Are you sure? I get the sense it's only one part.
26:58No, no. It's two.
27:00Part one, the new star you were talking about, how long did it take that light to reach Earth?
27:05And part two, is it true you plant your friends in the audience to ask questions?
27:0846,000 years. And no, I don't plant my friends because apparently I don't have any.
27:15Any other questions? Yes, you, miss.
27:19Hi. I read your paper on specular reflections. It was great.
27:23Thank you so much.
27:25In your conclusion, you said you couldn't rule out that light flashes could be evidence of alien civilization.
27:30So, does that mean you think it's aliens?
27:33I was just illustrating that there are many unknowns.
27:35And as scientists, we can't preemptively rule out possibilities.
27:38So, you think it's aliens?
27:41Actually, no.
27:43I have a question about the aliens you found.
27:46That's not what I said, Howard.
27:48Hold on a second. Do you two know each other?
27:53Yeah. My sister was, and this is her term, abducted.
28:00Do you think those could be the same aliens?
28:02Do you think those could be the same aliens?
28:05Any other questions?
28:07Not about aliens.
28:11What?
28:13Do you still want me to ask the one you gave me? Because it kind of feels like we're past that.
28:17Now I'm some sort of big joke.
28:20I'm even on some alien conspiracy blog.
28:23See, Caltech astrophysicist finds proof of alien life.
28:28Wow, that is not a great picture of you.
28:30That's not the point.
28:32Dr. Koothrappali, I'm surprised to see you in here.
28:35Why is that?
28:37Because the truth is out there.
28:41You see, that's what I'm talking about. People have been doing that to me all day.
28:46Max, we're just having fun.
28:49Oh, come on!
28:54See, it's fun.
28:56I know a lot of people have been having fun claiming that I said I found alien life.
29:01I want to make it clear, that is not what I said.
29:05I did say there was one possible explanation. I don't think that's something to mock.
29:09Right? It would be arrogant for us to assume that we are alone in the universe.
29:14And as scientists, we need to remain open to the possibility that the truth may sound silly or far-fetched.
29:20The round earth, germs that cause diseases, subatomic particles, all these at one time seemed fanciful.
29:27So who's to say what science fiction of today will be the reality of tomorrow?
29:31Will there be colonies on Mars, matter transporters, perhaps the Loch Ness Monster is real, who knows?
29:40I'm just saying that the only way science moves forward is to follow the evidence wherever it leads,
29:47even if it makes us sound crazy sometimes.
29:51Hey, Bernie, look at this.
29:53Caltech astrophysicist claims Loch Ness Monster is real.
29:59You know, that guidance system was my idea. You figured out how to make it work. We didn't even need Sheldon.
30:04Let's not forget your idea was based on my theory.
30:07Hey, we're bagging on Sheldon here. Focus!
30:12He sure was pretty smart using our quantum technology as the basis for a communication system.
30:17It would be even better if he swapped out the helium for xenon.
30:20Ooh. So instead of having to keep it at negative 271 degrees, you'd only have to keep it at negative 108. It would be way more efficient.
30:27And xenon has a bigger nucleus, so coherence would make it an easier signal to see.
30:32You're brilliant!
30:33We should tell Sheldon.
30:34You're an idiot!
30:36We don't tell Sheldon. We go to the military behind his back and we screw him like he screwed us.
30:41You're right. We don't need him. We can do this all on our own.
30:44Do you think you can do the math?
30:45No.
30:47But if someone else does it, I can double-check the crap out of it.
30:54So what do you think? Can you make it work?
30:56I just need to use the cross-section to calculate the probability of the interaction.
31:01Can we help?
31:02Yes. Why don't you one, get me a can of Pwingles?
31:10Based on Kripke's calculations, I think this is going to work. Maybe we should pitch it to Colonel Williams today.
31:15Why limit ourselves to the U.S. military? I bet there's a lot of other places we could take this.
31:20Without committing criminal espionage?
31:22You know, it's easy to shoot an idea down, Leonard.
31:26Well, I suppose congratulations are in order. You set out to destroy me and you achieved your goal.
31:32What are you talking about?
31:34The military canceled my project because they're going with yours.
31:37That's impossible. We haven't even pitched it yet.
31:39Well, Colonel Williams said another team at Caltech came up with a more efficient neutrino comm system.
31:44Dammit.
31:47Excuse us.
31:49Kripke!
31:51What's up, fellas?
31:53Did you screw us over?
31:55Ooh, I can't tell you that. It's classified.
31:59You have a replica Saturn V?
32:02Yeah. My dad bought it before he, you know, abandoned our family.
32:07Lucky duck.
32:10I could never bring myself to open it without him. It's silly.
32:16No, it's not silly. I always wanted my dad to build rockets with me, but he wasn't interested.
32:21Ah, yes. Disappointing fathers.
32:23Tell me about it. I remember for my 16th birthday, my dad bought me a Mercedes.
32:28Like, a little one, like a starter Mercedes.
32:31He had barely handed me the keys before he had to rush back to work.
32:35I didn't see him again till, like, pretty late that night.
32:40Anyway...
32:45As angry as I was with him leaving, building this stuff is probably what led me to become an engineer.
32:52I suppose, in his own way, my dad also encouraged me to pursue science.
32:57I mean, he is the one that taught me that flatulence is combustible.
33:01Yeah, I guess I'm an astrophysicist because, as a kid, I said I liked to look at the stars,
33:05so my dad sent me to Hawaii to visit the Keck Telescope.
33:12Screw you! My pain is real!
33:16You know what? Forget the past. What do you say you and me build this rocket?
33:22That sounds like it could be a real bonding experience for us.
33:25L minus ten! Nine!
33:28Wait, what are you doing? It's T minus.
33:30I was an astronaut. We used L minus.
33:32Yeah, but this is a Saturn V, and when they launched those, they said T minus.
33:36It's my rocket. We're doing it my way.
33:40Fine.
33:43I'm not saying I know why your dad left, but I think I'm getting an idea.
33:49L minus ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!
33:54Because you're kind of bossy.
33:57Five! Four! Three! Two! One!
34:02Boom!
34:07I remember them going up higher.
34:10Hey, I read that someone invented a way to convert your footsteps into electromagnetic energy,
34:16so you can charge your cell phone while walking.
34:18We had that idea years ago. How come we never did anything with it?
34:21Probably because we left the diagram of it in the restaurant and none of us wanted to walk back.
34:27I know the real reason you never made progress with that idea.
34:30You thought of it September 22nd, 2007.
34:34Two days later, Penny moved in, and so much blood rushed to your genitals, your brain became a ghost town.
34:42That's not what happened.
34:44I remember it distinctly because I had just composed my annual poem commemorating the anniversary of Dr. Seuss's death.
34:51No one wants to hear it.
34:53Why die? Why did he die? Old told. I was told he was old.
34:58Penny is not the reason I didn't pursue that idea.
35:01Oh, really? Since meeting her, what have been your greatest accomplishments?
35:05Easy. Sleeping with Penny.
35:08Getting Penny to go back out with him after she dumped him.
35:11Tricking Penny into getting engaged.
35:13And a few weeks ago he almost did a pull-up.
35:18I think someone owes me an apology.
35:20Well, don't feel bad. I think we've all been distracted since the girls entered our lives.
35:25You admit Amy's a distraction?
35:27Oh, very much so.
35:29Listen to this. This is from two days ago.
35:32Hi. Hope you're having a good day.
35:35Who has time for this constant sex game?
35:39Well, maybe we have lost our focus.
35:42I mean, it wouldn't kill us to get together and brainstorm ideas.
35:45Ooh, we could have one of those retreats.
35:47Like our own science retreat.
35:49My cousin has a cabin out in the woods.
35:51I'm not going to a cabin in the woods.
35:54Did you see the movie Cabin in the Woods?
35:57Then we'll go to a hotel.
35:59A hotel? Did you see The Shining?
36:03We could go up to Big Bear and get a house on the lake.
36:06Did you see The Lake House?
36:08Nothing bad happens in The Lake House.
36:11Well, no, not to them. To me.
36:14Time-traveling mailman.
36:16Time-traveling mailbox.
36:18Only time that travels an hour and a half of my life down the toilet.
36:21Okay, fine. Then we'll just stay here and do it.
36:24Well, you didn't suggest a beach house.
36:26You would go to a beach house?
36:28Good Lord, no. Have you seen Jaws?
36:30You know, I've been thinking about time travel again.
36:33Why? Did you hit a roadblock with invisibility?
36:37Put it on the back burner.
36:39Anyway, it occurs to me.
36:41If I ever did perfect a time machine,
36:42I would just go into the past and give it to myself.
36:45Thus eliminating the need for me to invent it in the first place.
36:49Interesting.
36:51Yeah, it really takes the pressure off.
36:53Sounds like a breakthrough.
36:55Should I call Science Magazine and tell them to hold the cover?
36:58It's time travel, Leonard. I will have already done that.
37:01Then I guess congratulations are in order.
37:04No, congratulations will have been in order.
37:12All right, Raj.
37:21Can't believe they're going to cut that with this punk-ass diamond saw.
37:43Leonard, what are you doing?
37:45Showing you that this is the better way.
37:48Stop! Whatever's inside there is dangerous.
37:55Oh, and pretty.
38:01What is that?
38:03Ah!
38:05Are you okay?
38:07Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just feeling a little...
38:13...hungry.
38:17No!
38:19Stop eating, Bert!
38:23Keep eating, Bert!
38:28Leonard! Leonard!
38:30What? What?
38:32You're having a bad dream.
38:34Oh, thank God.
38:36I was eating my friends.
38:38Well, one friend and one acquaintance.
38:40You know what, Bert's okay. Two friends.
38:42Let me see if you're running a fever.
38:44Yeah.
38:46Oh, yeah. You're burning up.
38:52Geez!
38:54Are you okay?
38:56It depends. What color are my eyes?
38:58I don't know. Brown? No, green. No, wait. Brown.
39:02Oh, good. I'm awake.
39:05Okay. Picture's up. Looks like the camera's working.
39:09That's good quality video.
39:10Better be. It's a spare camera for the Mars rover.
39:14How do you get your hands on that?
39:16Million dollar camera. Ten dollar log.
39:21Oh, my God! Here he comes! This is it!
39:33What the hell is that thing?
39:35I don't know.
39:36This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
39:38Experimental log.
39:40Wormhole generator test 44.
39:44Wormhole generator test?
39:52The first 43 parallel universes I've checked prove to be empty.
39:57I see no reason to suspect universe number 44 will be any different.
40:07Oh, my God!
40:09Holy crap!
40:17Ow! It's eating my face!
40:20It's eating his face!
40:29Are you finished?
40:31Well, thank you. How thoughtful.
40:34Would you like a chocolate?
40:37Yeah, sure.
40:41Thanks.
40:46Oh, sorry, Sheldon. I almost sat in your spot.
40:49Did you? I didn't notice. Have a chocolate.
40:57You're here a lot now.
41:00Oh, am I talking too much? I'm sorry.
41:05Chocolate?
41:07Yes, please.
41:14Oh, hey, Kim.
41:17Yeah, I...
41:19You know what? Hold on. Let me take this in the hall.
41:29You'll never guess who they got to replace you with.
41:35Okay.
41:37I know what you're doing.
41:39Really?
41:41Yes. You're using chocolates as positive reinforcement for what you consider correct behavior.
41:48Very good.
41:51Chocolate?
41:58Sheldon, you can't train my girlfriend like a lab rat.
42:02Are you saying that I am forbidden from applying a harmless, scientifically valid protocol that will make our lives better?
42:10Yes. You're forbidden.
42:16Bad, Leonard.
42:24Are you having an allergic reaction to my boutonniere?
42:28No. I'm just so happy for you.
42:31And for me, after today, you are officially, and more important legally, Amy's problem.
42:39Don't be silly, Leonard. I will always be your problem.
42:52Hey, baby.
42:54Hello, Mother.
42:56Leonard, could you give us a moment?
42:58Oh, of course.
42:59Oh, Shelly.
43:04I wish your dad could see you now.
43:07Me too. I miss him.
43:10He would be so proud of you. I know that I am.
43:17I mean, for everything.
43:20My whole life.
43:22Oh.
43:26Let me straighten your tie.
43:28No, no, no. It's alright. It's supposed to be a little asymmetrical.
43:33Apparently a small flaw somehow improves it.
43:37I can see that.
43:39Sometimes it's the imperfect stuff that makes things perfect.
43:51Excuse me.
43:56Case in point.
44:01Amy? Amy? Amy?
44:05Come in.
44:07There's something I need to tell you.
44:09Wow! You look amazing.
44:11That's not what I need to tell you. But you do.
44:14What's wrong?
44:16Something incredible just happened.
44:17Remember when you were telling me about my bow tie and how a little asymmetry is good?
44:22Yeah.
44:24My equations have been trying to describe an imperfect world.
44:27And the only way to do that is to introduce imperfection into the underlying theory.
44:31So instead of super symmetry, it would be super asymmetry?
44:37Super asymmetry. That's it!
44:41Give me your lipstick.
44:43What?
44:45Just give it to me, you beautiful thing. We have work to do.
44:48So if I make slightly asymmetric knots with sheets in four dimensions,
44:52then I can bootstrap the whole idea to a large asymmetry in 11 dimensions.
44:57Maybe even at the initial moment of creation, the fundamental forces lacked symmetry.
45:03Everyone's waiting. What are you guys doing?
45:06Super asymmetry.
45:08Super asymmetry? Is that a thing?
45:10We're inventing it right now.
45:12Don't you think this can wait until...
45:14Hold on. This is interesting.
45:18According to Google, there are zero papers that mention super asymmetry.
45:23This is brand new. No one's thought of it.
45:25What are you lunatics doing?
45:28Sheldon had a breakthrough.
45:31Actually, Amy and I had a breakthrough.
45:33Oh, science is shocking.
45:35You don't understand. This could be really big.
45:38No, Penny's right.
45:40We have our whole lives to do science together.
45:44Let's get married.
45:46Alright.
45:48It's go time! I am pumped!