Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Are you going with Sheldon?
00:04No.
00:05I have no interest in model trains, stores that sell them, nor their heart-breaking clientele.
00:10Oh, well, I have some work to do, so...
00:16I can't imagine that would disturb me.
00:17Carry on.
00:18Okay.
00:19Wouldn't you be more comfortable at home?
00:28Not really, no.
00:32Alrighty then.
00:33I guess I'll just get started.
00:34Leonard, please.
00:35I don't need the running commentary.
00:46Amy?
00:53Yo.
00:59You okay?
01:03Oh, sure.
01:06I thought you were reading.
01:08I was.
01:10Now I'm thinking about what I read.
01:16You alright, Leonard?
01:26You seem very uncomfortable.
01:29I'm fine.
01:32Should I go?
01:33I've been told sometimes I overstay my welcome.
01:36Who told you that?
01:39Well, most recently my gynecologist.
01:48You stay as long as you'd like.
01:51I'm glad to hear you say that, because I'm having a wonderful time.
01:56I said the same thing to my gynecologist.
01:59One moment.
02:00I'm conducting an experiment.
02:03With Dungeons and Dragons dice?
02:06Yes.
02:07From here on in, I've decided to make all trivial decisions with a throw of the dice,
02:12thus freeing up my mind to do what it does best,
02:15enlighten and amaze.
02:19Page 14, item 7.
02:23So, what's for dinner?
02:25A side of corn succotash.
02:29Interesting.
02:31Howard, can I see you for a minute, please?
02:34I don't want to show any more of your friends how I can fit in the booster seats.
02:39No, that's not it.
02:41Just come with me, please.
02:44Let's see what I'll be washing that succotash down with.
02:49A pitcher of margaritas.
02:54Do you really want that?
02:56That's the great thing.
02:57It doesn't matter.
02:58My mind is freed up to think about more important things.
03:02What's it thinking about now?
03:04Hamburgers and lemonade.
03:09Mustache is looking good there, Sheldon.
03:15Don't thank me.
03:16Thank the dice.
03:17They told me what percentage of my face to shave.
03:20Why are you still doing this?
03:22Because it's working.
03:24In the past few weeks, unburdened by trivial decisions,
03:27I've co-authored two papers in notable peer-reviewed journals,
03:30and I'm close to figuring out why the Large Hadron Collider
03:34has yet to isolate the Higgs boson particle.
03:37You left out got-shaped testicles because you no longer wear underpants.
03:45The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.
03:48I see you guys have found my little treasure.
03:50Yeah, it's okay, I guess.
03:53Okay, it's magnificent.
03:58What do you want for it?
04:00Well, it's hard to put a price on something
04:02that's a copy of something that was on pay cable.
04:06For my friends, let's say $250.
04:08Oh, that's pretty steep.
04:10Well, it's a limited edition.
04:11They only made $8,000 of these bad boys.
04:15It's only $8,000.
04:16We're wasting precious time.
04:17Buy it.
04:19Hang on.
04:21Can you do any better?
04:22Are you kidding?
04:23I'm already giving you the friends and family discount.
04:25Oh, did you hear that?
04:26We're getting the friends and family discount.
04:28We are honored, and we will take it.
04:30Slow down.
04:32$200.
04:33What are you doing?
04:34$250 is already the discounted price.
04:35Will you shut up?
04:37Tell you what, I'll go $235.
04:38Nope, maybe another time.
04:40Okay, $225 is my final offer.
04:42Take it, take it.
04:46$200.
04:47Man, you're killing me.
04:48I'm killing you.
04:49I can't breathe.
04:52$210, and I'm losing money.
04:54Oh, no, we can't let him lose money, Leonard.
04:56I'm so sorry.
04:57$210, and you throw in the Iron Man helmet.
05:00Are you crazy?
05:01That helmet's signed by Robert Downey Jr.
05:03So?
05:04Okay, if you're gonna question the importance
05:06of an actor's signature on a plastic helmet
05:08from a movie based on a comic book,
05:10then all of our lives have no meaning.
05:18Okay, fine, just the sword.
05:19$210.
05:21I can eat meat this week.
05:24See that?
05:25I just saved us $40.
05:27I've long said what you lack in academic knowledge,
05:29you make up for in street smarts.
05:32You want me to wrap it?
05:33No, it's okay.
05:34I'm gonna stab my friend in the chest.
05:37What's up?
05:38It just occurred to me that I never formally
05:41congratulated you on your pending nuptials,
05:43so I hopped on the first bus
05:45and high-tailed it down here to shake your hand.
05:48You put her there, you old so-and-so.
05:51Well, I'm gonna see you at work in 12 hours.
05:54Don't you think you could have waited until then?
05:58Holy smoke, why didn't I think of that?
06:01You're a better man than I, Howard Wolowitz.
06:03You put her there, you son of a gun.
06:07Whatever.
06:09My...
06:11It's...
06:14What?
06:15Oh, my God, Chloe!
06:16What did you do?
06:17It was a harmless Halloween prank, look.
06:20Howard has a heart condition, you know that?
06:23I thought he made that up.
06:25Isn't hypochondria a common idiosyncrasy of Jewish people?
06:32This is adrenaline.
06:33We're gonna have to inject it into his heart.
06:35We are?
06:36You are.
06:37I'm not strong enough to get it through his chest plate
06:39and we've only got one shot.
06:42Oh, no, I can't.
06:44Hurry, we're running out of time!
06:48Okay.
06:49Just do it!
06:50Oh, God!
06:51One, two, three!
06:54Trick or treat, bubbla.
06:57What?
07:00No!
07:01You mean this was all a ruse?
07:03Oh, how could I be so stupid?
07:07Your bird death ray is ready.
07:09It's not a death ray.
07:10It's just a little ultrasonic blast to scare him off.
07:13Trust me, if I had a death ray, I wouldn't be living here.
07:16I'd be in my lair, enjoying the money the people of Earth gave me
07:20for not using my death ray.
07:22All right, and in three, two, one.
07:35That is one tough birdie.
07:49This is ridiculous.
07:51I'm a grown man from Texas.
07:53This isn't a terrifying bird like a swan or a goose.
07:58It's just a blue jay.
08:06That's a pretty big blue jay.
08:27One, two, three.
08:31Go!
08:32Birdie!
08:33Birdie!
08:36Bird in the apartment!
08:37Bird in the apartment!
08:39No!
08:42Pardon me.
08:43Excuse me.
08:44Pardon me.
08:45Excuse me.
08:46Hi, Stuart.
08:47Hi, Sheldon.
08:48Pardon me.
08:54Sheldon, what are you doing here?
08:56Part of you sitting in a darkened theater with a character like Stuart is repellent.
09:04No offense, Stuart.
09:05None taken.
09:07Though repellent is kind of a strong word.
09:14I'm sorry this causes you discomfort, but based on the currently established parameters of our relationship,
09:19I can put myself in any repellent situation I want.
09:24Again, Stuart, please, you're being rude.
09:29Anything else?
09:31I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship.
09:40I'm listening.
09:42With the understanding that nothing changes whatsoever, physical or otherwise,
09:48I would not object to us no longer characterizing you as not my girlfriend.
10:02Interesting.
10:04Now try it without the quadruple negative.
10:08You're being impossible.
10:11Hi, Stuart.
10:15Fine.
10:18Amy, will you be my girlfriend?
10:31Yes.
10:32That's enough of that.
10:35Sorry to interrupt.
10:37You two enjoy your date.
10:38Here's a dollar for your troubles.
10:40Get yourself some Sour Patch Kids.
10:47Sour Patch Kids