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😹
FunTranscript
00:00Oh, God, that feels so good.
00:08Yeah, that's the spot. Oh, baby.
00:11Howard, dinner's ready!
00:15I'll eat later, I'm busy!
00:18Oh, yeah, just like a real hand.
00:21Hmm.
00:33Hey, Howard, what's going on?
00:36What? Hold on, Howard, Howard, slow down.
00:40The robot hand is stuck on your what?
00:46You're not gonna believe this.
00:52You slipped and fell into a robot hand.
00:58Yes.
01:01Penis first.
01:06Yes. Now, help me.
01:09I'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on some of that as well.
01:13Not funny, Leonard.
01:16Really? A robot hand's got a death grip on your junk, dude.
01:18That's funny, ask anyone.
01:21Wait, before my mother walks in, get this off me.
01:24Okay, let's see.
01:26No, no, don't touch. The program is paused.
01:28Well, then let's unpause it.
01:30No, no, I loaded the wrong program. The hand thinks it's holding a screwdriver in outer space.
01:33If you continue the program, it's gonna start twisting.
01:39Okay, come on.
01:42Almost there.
01:49Don't tug, no tugging.
01:52Next time, take your own advice.
01:55Excuse me, could you help us out?
01:58My, my, my, what do we have here?
02:02I slipped and fell.
02:04Yeah, we get that a lot.
02:07What is this?
02:09It's a robot arm.
02:11Where's the rest of the robot?
02:14I only built the arm.
02:15Because that's all you needed, right?
02:20Can you please just help me?
02:23Alright, alright, hang on. Stay calm.
02:27I need an orderly with a wheelchair. I got a robot hand grasping a man's penis out here.
02:34You think you could be a little more discreet?
02:37I'm sorry, we don't have a code for robot hand grasping a man's penis.
02:41Why is it hooked up to a computer?
02:43It's what controls the arm.
02:45It's frozen.
02:47Did you try turning it off and back on again?
02:50No, you see, it's more complicated than that.
02:52No, wait!
03:00Winnie the Pooh is out of the honey tree.
03:16Greetings, friends.
03:20Greetings, whatever the hell you are.
03:23I am a mobile virtual presence device.
03:26Recent events have demonstrated to me that my body is too fragile to endure the vicissitudes of the world.
03:34Until such time as I am able to transfer my consciousness, I shall remain in a secure location and interact with the world in this manner.
03:45Really? That's your question? When did he put a ramp in?
03:54You're in my spot.
04:04I brought Amy here to show her some of the work I'm doing.
04:08It's very impressive for theoretical work.
04:12Do I detect a hint of condescension?
04:15I'm sorry, was I being too subtle?
04:18I meant compared to the real world applications of neurobiology, theoretical physics is what's the word I'm looking for.
04:24Cute.
04:27Are you suggesting the work of a neurobiologist like Babinski could ever rise to the significance of a physicist like Clark Maxwell or Dirac?
04:37I'm stating it outright.
04:39Babinski eats Dirac for breakfast and defecates Clark Maxwell.
04:45You take that back.
04:49Absolutely not. My colleagues and I are mapping the neurological substrates that subserve global information processing,
04:55which is required for all cognitive reasoning, including scientific inquiry, making my research ipso facto prior in the Ordo Cognoscendi.
05:02That means it's better than his research and by extension, of course, yours.
05:10I'm sorry, I'm still trying to work on defecating Clark Maxwell.
05:16Excuse me, but a grand unified theory insofar as it explains everything, will ipso facto explain neurobiology?
05:26Yes, but if I'm successful, I will be able to map and reproduce your thought processes in deriving a grand unified theory
05:32and therefore subsume your conclusions under my paradigm.
05:35That's the rankest psychologism.
05:38It was conclusively revealed as hogwash by Gottlieb Frege in the 1890s.
05:43We appear to have reached an impasse.
05:46I agree. I move our relationship terminate immediately.
05:51Seconded.
05:53There being no objections?
05:57The motion carries. Good day, Amy Farrah Fowler.
06:01Good day, Sheldon Cooper.
06:07Women, huh?
06:09And live with them can't successfully refute their hypotheses.
06:14Amen to that.
06:16What's that smell?
06:22Yes?
06:25What are you doing in there?
06:27I'm making hydrogen sulfide and ammonia gas. Just a little experiment in pest control.
06:34It's not going to work, dude. I grew up in India, an entire subcontinent where cows walk in the street and nobody has ever had a solid bowel movement.
06:42Well, we'll just see how long you can hold out.
06:45Well, we'll just see how your noxious gas fares against my cinnamon apple scented aromatherapy candles.
06:52Didn't you say you're making hydrogen sulfide gas?
06:55Yes.
06:56Isn't that flammable?
06:57Highly.
06:59Oh, dear.
07:04This is not over.
07:09This is not over.
07:14It's nice to meet you too, Sheldon. I honestly didn't believe Amy when she told me she had a boyfriend.
07:21I assure you I am quite real and I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter.
07:29What?
07:30Oh, yes. We are like wild animals in heat. It's a wonder neither of us has been hurt.
07:39Amy, what is he saying?
07:42You wanted me to have a boyfriend, Mother. Well, here he is.
07:49Have to sign off now. My hunger for Sheldon is stirring in my loins.
07:54Oh, yes. It's time for me to make love to your daughter's vagina.
08:01Perfect!
08:03Thank you, Sheldon. That went very well.
08:05Agreed.
08:07Amy, I find myself wondering if we should actually engage in coitus at least one time in our relationship.
08:14Bazinga.
08:18Bedtime. Please show yourself out.
08:21Give me a minute.
08:25Sheldon.
08:26Hold on. I need to figure out how to get the bucket so I can carry the mud past the dragon.
08:32Sheldon, you need to work in the morning.
08:34I know.
08:35Well, then bed, mister.
08:36Five more minutes.
08:38Really? You're going to risk getting sleepy in the middle of your thermodynamic fluctuation seminar?
08:43You know what happens when you yawn in public?
08:49Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvula.
08:53You don't want that, do you?
08:56No.
08:58But it's a shame our society mocks the differently uvulated.
09:04Who was at the door?
09:06Building manager.
09:08They have to fix a pipe, so the water will be off tomorrow from noon to two.
09:12That's unacceptable. We're supposed to be given written notice.
09:15It doesn't matter. We'll be at work.
09:17What if I spill tomato soup on my shirt and have to come home to change,
09:20only to find there's no water for an enzyme soak?
09:23Bifurcated uvula, Sheldon.
09:26I'll have the chicken noodle. Good night.
09:32We're going to have to be very quiet.
09:39I know how to get the bucket.
09:41I can turn the axe around and use the handle to reach it.
09:45Use the handle to reach it.
09:47Let's see.
09:50Go north. You are in a forest.
09:53Go north. You are in a forest.
09:56Go north. You are in a forest.
09:59Oh dear, I believe I'm lost.
10:01I'll just have to get a fresh start tomorrow.
10:03No, no, no. You just need to map it out.
10:06Come on, I'll help you.
10:07So you stopped at the stream and you turned north three times?
10:10Yes.
10:11You're right. You're lost. Good luck.
10:15You're lost. Good luck.