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FunTranscript
00:00We need to talk to you about something that happened at the North Pole.
00:04If this is about the night the heat went out, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
00:10It's not about that.
00:11We agreed to never speak of it again.
00:14So we slept together naked.
00:18It was only to keep our core body temperatures from plummeting.
00:23He's speaking about it.
00:25For me it was a bonding moment.
00:30I don't see anything.
00:38Hold me.
00:44One at a time.
00:58What was that?
01:00My stomach.
01:02Indian food doesn't agree with me.
01:07Ironic, isn't it?
01:09Shh.
01:12Elevator shaft.
01:18Help me open it.
01:20Are you crazy? We can't go down an empty elevator shaft.
01:23Fine. If you don't want to proceed, then you forfeit the bet and I'll take possession of your fantastic four.
01:30Let's open her up.
01:33Are you bothered that I can so easily manipulate you?
01:36Don't push me, Sheldon.
01:38I may be small, but I took Kung Fu when I was 13 and I remember a good deal of it.
01:44Oh, really?
01:45Well, I grew up with an older brother and a very contentious twin sister.
01:48And I believe I could easily best you in any physical confrontation.
01:51Be it noogies, swirlies, or the classic, why are you hitting yourself?
01:55Ooh, big talk from a man who was once treated by a chicken.
01:59Raj and I are going to a goth club in Hollywood to hang with the night people.
02:05Anybody want to come along?
02:06Oh, wow. You're actually going out like that?
02:08No. No, I'm going out like this.
02:14Howard, what did you do?
02:16They're called tattoo sleeves. Look.
02:19Yeah, I bought them off Amazon.
02:21Tattoo sleeves. Look.
02:24Yeah, I bought them online. Raj got a set, too.
02:30Fantastic, right?
02:31Put them on, have hot sex with some freaky girl with her business peers,
02:34take them off, and I can still be buried in a Jewish cemetery.
02:39You know, I've always wanted to go to a goth nightclub.
02:42Really?
02:43Bazinga.
02:46None of you ever see my practical jokes coming, do you?
02:50Okay, how about you two? Look, I got some extra tat sleeves.
02:55Why are you carrying extras?
02:56In case I snag one on someone's nipple ring.
03:00Uh, yeah, I think we'll pass.
03:03Oh, is the missus speaking for the couple now?
03:07In this case, you bet she is.
03:12Yes, she's pushy, and yes, he's whipped, but that's not the expression.
03:17You really are a genius.
03:20Not really. I googled how to do that.
03:27So, listen.
03:30Have you ever made a pact with someone?
03:33You mean like a pinky swear?
03:36Okay, fine, like a pinky swear.
03:39Well, in the first grade, my friend Rosie and I made a pact to marry Bert and Ernie.
03:45You know, from Sesame Street?
03:46Yeah, I'm familiar with Bert and Ernie.
03:49Then we found out we both wanted Ernie.
03:52We didn't speak again until middle school.
03:55Over puppets?
03:56The heart wants what the heart wants, Leonard.
03:59Okay.
04:02Speaking of what the heart wants, um, a long time ago, I made a pact with Wolowitz that kind of involves you.
04:19Okay, I don't know where you're going with this, but tread carefully because it may be the last conversation we ever have.
04:27No, no, nothing like that.
04:30The deal was that if either of us ever got a girlfriend, we'd have her fix the other one up with one of her friends.
04:37And you thought a good time to bring this up would be right after sex?
04:40Well, I sure as hell wasn't going to bring it up before sex.
04:44During, I was trying to remember what I read on Google, so...
04:50I'm not hooking Wolowitz up with one of my friends.
04:52It doesn't have to be a good friend.
04:56And you know that deep down inside, Howard's a really nice guy?
05:00The problem isn't what's on the inside. It's the creepy candy coating.
05:07Will you at least think about it, just as a figure of speech?
05:10Will you at least think about it, just as a favor to me?
05:16The great thing about Ernie was he never asked me for anything.
05:21He just gave.
05:24Wolowitz is trying to outflank us. Let out some string, add altitude, and I'll go under and cut his line.
05:30Why wouldn't Penny want her friends to meet me?
05:32Focus, Leonard, focus. The heat of battle is upon us. The dogs of war unleashed.
05:38Maybe Cuther Polly's right. Maybe I embarrass her.
05:41But you're embarrassing me right now. A grown man worrying about such nonsense? We're in the middle of flying kites.
05:49Sorry.
05:50Sorry won't bring their kites down.
05:52Oh, string worm, string worm!
05:57Oh, they think we're flanking. They're playing right into our hands.
06:00At the count of three, we execute the flying scissor. One, two, three.
06:06You see that?
06:07See what?
06:08That chick.
06:09She smiled at me.
06:10No, she didn't.
06:11Yes, she did.
06:12Come on, scissors, scissors.
06:13Hold my line.
06:14What are you doing? I got scissors by myself. I would come back.
06:19Victory!
06:21Son of a bitch.
06:23I have a few questions. First, I noticed that you offer soup and a half sandwich.
06:27Yes.
06:28Where exactly does the half sandwich come from?
06:31Are you giving me half of someone else's sandwich?
06:34Or do I have to wait for someone else in the restaurant to order the other half?
06:37No, no, no. Sheldon, they just make a half sandwich.
06:40You can't make a half sandwich. If it's not half of a whole sandwich, it's just a small sandwich.
06:46Okay, fine. It's soup and a small sandwich. Is that what you want?
06:49No, of course not. I'll have my usual.