What does it mean to man up?
With Aaron Duncan
With Aaron Duncan
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Manhood, brought to you in part by Reboot Sports Drink.
00:09Thank you for joining us for another conversation of manhood,
00:13where we aim to be better as brothers.
00:16Today's topic, a very big one, as they always are, man up.
00:21And what does that mean to you? What does that mean to us?
00:24And that's what we're about to have a real discussion on today.
00:28So before I go into what the description I found is about,
00:32let me just introduce the panel that we have today,
00:35or the group of brothers to talk about it.
00:38To my right, the one and only Johanse IODK, Behavior Change Consultant,
00:43looking a bit different today, almost like Benjamin Button.
00:47He seemed to have reversed his age, and I hope one day he will give us his secret.
00:53I don't know if he's drinking some of the Reboot that we have here,
00:55but certainly looking younger, always a pleasure to have you.
01:00Aaron Duncan, many of you, if not all of you, know who he is, an entertainer.
01:06And also congratulations, fulfilling a dream that he's had,
01:10and a tick on his bucket list to make the finals of Dimash Grass.
01:15So, you know, kudos to you, brother.
01:16And of course, JW, Jason Williams, media personality, you know,
01:23really needs no introduction.
01:25So thank you, gents.
01:27A real big one, you know, when they say man up.
01:30But if you permit me just to read what we have here.
01:34Yes, I need the glasses.
01:36So, man up may seem like a harmless way to tell a man to step up to his responsibilities,
01:42to be strong or to show less emotion.
01:46But the phrase itself implies that doing any of these things is gender-specific.
01:52More, it implies that one can be more or less of a man based on behavior.
01:57It's a phrase that has long outlived its usefulness, assuming it was ever useful at all.
02:03So before we go into it, I just want to clarify that in no way are we saying that this phrase is appropriate.
02:12We're not saying that we condone it.
02:14We're not saying that we believe in it.
02:16We're just talking about where this comes from.
02:19It's almost like, you know, when people come up with mansplaining or toxic masculinity,
02:23man up is a long-spoken, a long-used phrase that now you're finding that has,
02:30you know, people are recognizing has very negative connotations to it.
02:35And where does this come from and how do we feel about it?
02:38Who recognize that a negative?
02:39Like where'd I come from?
02:40Because I don't really see any harm in my up.
02:43I find we're living in our time in here where it's almost afraid to speak our mind.
02:49You're the man up.
02:49So you're the man up.
02:50You're the man up.
02:51Yo, like, let me tell you something.
02:52I remember the first time, now I didn't grow up with that male influence in the household, you know.
03:01So hearing men speak hard and cursing and stuff would be something experienced like on the football pitch.
03:06But the first time that was, it came my direction from an employer of mine, my very first job.
03:13I did something wrong and the man really lighted me up.
03:16Lighted me up.
03:17I was young, probably 17, 18.
03:19Could have probably been younger.
03:21It was a summer job.
03:21And I remember I cried, you know.
03:23I cried.
03:24But after that, though, when he came with his harsh words, I never break down again because I was able to kind of find that strength to kind of deal with it now.
03:34It didn't happen often, but I remember the first time I was taking, yeah, I was in a shambles, to be quite honest.
03:41And I had to, as the topic says today, to man up, to deal with that because the world is not going to be a bed of roses and botanical gardens.
03:50Correct.
03:50Holding hands, running in slow motion and out your dread, you know, especially when you travel and go overseas, that Caribbean warmth and that.
03:57I mean, all of us are traveling, man.
03:58Okay.
03:58That warmth and that rhythm that we have here, you do get a chance outside in the big world, you know.
04:04So, to me, manning up, honestly, Robbie, I'd really see a particular issue with it per se.
04:12But it was an interesting perspective, though.
04:15I never thought about it from that angle.
04:16So, as you said about you didn't think of it, I always say, and what I love particularly about this show,
04:23and I always say it at the end, is that I start off one way and I start with one thinking or one thought.
04:30And by the end of it, I'm always appreciative of the persons that come on manhood because I always change or have more insight at the end.
04:46And from the first few minutes of the show, you've changed my insight because one of the further readings in that whole discussion was talking about are we perpetuating misogyny?
04:58And the reference was also made to the P word, as in the female genitalia, when we say, oh, you're being a P, which is a sign of weakness.
05:08And women were thinking that, listen, how could it be a sign of weakness where women, you know, actually push babies out, you know, they give birth.
05:18And I'm in agreement with that, but I never thought of it as someone, it's not a phrase that we use with women.
05:27It's a phrase that we use primarily with young men.
05:32So when we say man up, I could see where you're coming from, that it shouldn't be negative because what you're saying is, you know, grow up.
05:41I can't say grow up because everybody grows up, you know, but man up is a totally different thing.
05:47It's like a showing a strength almost.
05:49Yeah, it's a showing a strength.
05:50Everybody grows up, everybody has to get, I was going to say, well, maybe the word is to be more mature,
05:55but it's really man up because men tend to be emotionally stronger than women in the vast truth of it.
06:05You know, we tend to understand, well, not understand, but take more emotionally.
06:11Some things that some females may get hurt about, we take that normal.
06:16Or at least we're supposed to take it.
06:17Supposed to take it normal.
06:19When you say men are more logical.
06:20Logical.
06:20Logical.
06:21And it is needed, you know.
06:24It's not something that we're just doing wrong or right.
06:26It is needed in our household to have a leader and somebody.
06:31Yeah, a man.
06:32Yeah, a man.
06:33Even from the last conversation we had when you were talking about what it is to be cool.
06:38And one perspective was as a man, we're supposed to be able to keep our cool in situations.
06:43And I'm not saying that we need to suppress our emotions because we're still human.
06:47We still feel certain things.
06:49But learning to manage it in the best way possible is, I think, our role.
06:54Not that we always accomplish it because we're not perfect.
06:58But I tell myself sometimes, man, when I realize I'm not being a man.
07:03And I mean, we could always try to define what a man is and et cetera.
07:07And I think being a man, if we go in personal first, being a man in certain situations is personal to you.
07:15Because my family situation is not yours and et cetera and et cetera.
07:20But being that rock, being that voice of reason, being the person who could protect, provide, shield your family and even yourself.
07:33Because sometimes you need, in being a success, we need to shield ourselves.
07:39We need to be that man for ourselves in whatever situation.
07:43You know, we find ourselves in a time where women actually manning up, where men drop the ball, where men abdicate responsibility, where we do show that strength.
07:51Because really and truly, our natural role, look at the sense of it, is to provide, is to protect.
07:56But if three o'clock in the morning, you and the woman lie down in our bed and there's a noise outside, I doubt she will feel good to know your touch.
08:05If we talk inequality and these different times that we're in, I should be able to say, baby girl, go check and see what, pull the tree line and check and see what's going on there.
08:12But she would be like, what's he? You're the man up.
08:15Yeah, exactly.
08:15This is your function to go and see what's happening outside by the window.
08:19And I think as any man, ego feel funny now.
08:22Yeah.
08:23If you understand what I'm saying, you're just saying that time you're feeling funny to think, well, hey, baby, go and check.
08:28But the time you hear the song, whether it is you alone with a woman, even if you have a line and a noise happen, all the men tune around one time, even if it's men lining, what is that?
08:43If you understand what I'm saying.
08:44And we always have these arguments about what a man is, what a woman is.
08:49It has plenty of these things that is filled in it, you know.
08:51Look at the war that's going on right now in the Middle East, very unfortunate circumstance.
08:55What's the common thread you hear with the reports?
08:58Injured women and children.
09:00You hear women and children.
09:02You don't talk about any man, you know.
09:03Yeah.
09:03It's almost understood that men are casualty of war.
09:06Men are the ones that perpetrate war, that are involved in war.
09:10So when you hear a woman and a child get injured now, it's like the news will say women.
09:14You don't hear how much a man get injured now.
09:15Because we're supposed to be protecting the women and children.
09:19And we've heard, I don't know, it's not coming off the tongue today.
09:24In our innate duty to hunt, to protect, protect.
09:30That's why you mentioned the women and children.
09:32So it's like when you hear the Titanic, for example.
09:35You know, women and children first.
09:37And funny enough, that's not even married.
09:39Well, from what somebody told me, I could be wrong.
09:41But somebody said that is not really a written rule.
09:43You know, it's just something that understood that if there is danger, if there's danger ahead, you see, let's protect the women and children.
09:52So that in itself is manning up.
09:53Let our man run out first, no?
09:55They will say he didn't man up.
09:56So it's a spiritual thing then.
09:58If it's not something that is a rule and it's just written, where that comes from, where, how we just grow with that.
10:06That is us manning up with our understanding that you protect the women and the children.
10:10Not saying that they are vulnerable, not saying they're weak, you know.
10:12But it's just sometimes in that, as you rightfully said, you hear a noise, there's a disaster.
10:18Most times the men are the ones to go to the danger, you know, step in the front line.
10:23But you're seeing more and more women doing that now too, huh?
10:25Yeah.
10:26And that's the reality of the moment.
10:27So we have a flip here again, because again, I started off thinking to myself, okay, well, I came into the show today thinking it was a negative.
10:36It was a negative connotation to the, and a correlation to it.
10:41You changed my thought temporarily, or you gave me perspective with your opening salvo.
10:47But now we're going back to when a woman tells a man to man up, or to a boy to man up, it's not in a positive way.
10:57So when you say, hey, man up, it means that you have not done something, or you're not exhibiting something that is perceived or deemed to be a man.
11:08How do then, and that's what I want to have more of a conversation on, how do we feel then as men about that?
11:15It depends on context, because if your wife, your partner, your sister, your mother, if they're coming from a sincere place, and they see gaps, they could use the term man up.
11:29Or it can be used in a facetious way or malicious way if a woman trying to make you do something, because it's almost like a manipulation.
11:37She wants to do things from you, and to shame you, use the word man up.
11:42Correct.
11:43Which is what I really wanted to dig deep into, that side of it.
11:48Right, and you're asking how to delete it.
11:50Now, this is an easier said than done answer, right?
11:54Because from since we started this series, I realized every man has to be able to define himself.
12:01Because if you allow somebody to define you as a man, then you have problems, because it will switch to the, anybody could say anything.
12:10So if you solid, or at least close to solid in understanding what it is to be a man, when somebody say man up, if they're being malicious or facetious, you're able to stand on it.
12:22So let's just say, let's give an example.
12:24The woman say, I want a thousand dollars every day, because you should just be grateful for me to be around.
12:31I'll just give an example.
12:33And you see, in your mind, say, no, that is madness.
12:35And she say, well, man up.
12:36Now, if you're not sure of yourself, you could think, wait, boy, maybe I should really be giving her this money every day.
12:42Maybe I should really be doing something.
12:44But if you're sure of yourself, you know, all right, why giving this money?
12:48And maybe I'm not making any money yet.
12:50Maybe why, why was the reason why, if you understand what I'm saying.
12:54So you are, we as men, firstly, should know how to define ourselves outside of a woman, outside of a job, outside of anything.
13:02And so when somebody says it, when it hits you, you know, okay, well, you could compare what they say in this manner and compare who you think, what you know you are as a man, and then realize where the, if there's a gap.
13:14But even with that self-assuredness and very clear belief that you have, because, you know, I always say, you know, if you believe, you dream, and if you dream, you can do.
13:25And if you believe certain things about yourself, and you believe what's the right thing, but the other part of it, and you're dreaming, but the actuality of it isn't happening.
13:36You yourself could have, start to have doubt.
13:38So somebody coming and, and, and sort of reassuring or reemphasizing that, which is a weak, a weakness in yourself in terms of what you want to be, or what you think a man should be.
13:51You understand?
13:52Because you could know what a man should be, but are you meeting that?
13:55So a woman comes and says, or even not the woman, um, her friends, if she's driving her old car, why man up and get the woman a good car now?
14:04Or man up and take care of your woman?
14:06You know, you have her working hard, and you might be really working a, a nine, a six to six job, doing all that you can.
14:13But the perception, and even though you're confident to say, I'm, I'm earning an honest dollar, which a lot of people do, right?
14:21You, how much more can you do?
14:23And if the woman is starting to feel that way and her friends, my thing is you, as much as you can be comfortable with the fact that you're doing all that you can do, you still probably feel less of a man.
14:33And she may eventually leave you for somebody who is more man up, manning more up than you.
14:41But before you go in, before you comment, because I know, I know, like I give, I give you, and it's, and it's surprising, I gave you a, you know, pause for thought there.
14:50But, um, we need to take a short break.
14:53We're talking about man up and what it means to be a man, more importantly, by the basic context.
14:59And then what it, whether man up means something negative to you or it's in a positive way.
15:03So we take a short break.
15:04This is manhood.
15:11Thank you for staying with us on manhood.
15:17Once again, Johanse, Aaron, and JW, we're talking about what it means to man up and whether there's a negative to it or whether it's a positive.
15:26And in our initial discussions, I'm on the fence because I would say it depends how it's delivered.
15:34It certainly depends how it's delivered and how it's received will bring you to that feeling or emotion as to whether it's something negative or positive one.
15:44But the topic for today is really focusing on the negative aspects of it and how we feel about it.
15:50Because when you tell somebody, be a man, or, you know, or, um, you know, what kind of man you is, all of those, all of that is in, is in essence, man up.
16:04And that in no way could be something that's negative because what you're saying at that point is you are lacking something in terms of an expression, a behavior, an action that is not showing me in my eyes or in the eyes of my surroundings or society, societal influences that you are being a man.
16:23And those effects can lead to so many other things.
16:27And I don't have those eyes intoxicated by the wrong things.
16:33Meaning like, you don't bang, that person who's telling you that, don't bang to actually know what a man really supposed to be.
16:41So it comes back to what he was saying about, it's about knowing how to define yourself, defining what is a, not define yourself, but what is a man and make sure you able to fill those shoes.
16:51And then you would be understand what you really here to do.
16:54But Aaron, if, if, but if you lose your woman or your wife as a result of that, or they think of you as less of a man, and then that leads to other things where they go on, they cheat on you.
17:04Or I remember doing a documentary once and, um, I went into a certain area and the women, the women in that area told me if the man who beat them, they don't love them.
17:15And that was the perception.
17:16So if you're, if you're seen as not being a man by exhibiting those.
17:20And that, for that, for those people who build that, we now come back to saying, if they believe, and you as a man need to know who you are, maybe you lose certain people on the way, but at the end of it, they don't give up on who you are.
17:34And that's from my perspective.
17:36Maybe it's because I'm young and not married, but don't give up on who you are.
17:40If you are a man and you're trying your best, you're doing everything you need to do, working from nine to five or whatever, whatever.
17:47And you lose your woman because of not being able to give her what she wants at the time point in time, but you're doing everything to give her what she needs, but they can't give her what she wants.
17:58And she leaves for that.
17:59She was never yours to begin with.
18:01So there's no reason to fight that.
18:04I mean, it's my...
18:05It's my earning a seat, bro.
18:06Aaron, you hear the f***?
18:07You know why?
18:10I tell you because I remember it, even for me, and I remember I used to get annoyed and angry at first when people trying to tell me and define who I am.
18:20They're not giving advice.
18:21I'm not talking about advice.
18:22Advice is necessary.
18:24But when they're trying to tell you who you are, I'll give you a scenario.
18:26I remember I was working in an organization and the woman went out to the grocery to buy something for the office.
18:36And I was inside doing work.
18:38And they came inside and just so in the middle of me, they didn't say, well, what kind of man you is?
18:44You didn't see the woman and them go for groceries?
18:47So I got angry in the moment because I have no problem helping.
18:52But the way it was brought across, what kind of man you is?
18:56Right?
18:56One, I was doing work.
18:58Two, he didn't tell me he was going for the grocery.
19:01So I know at two o'clock to prepare myself.
19:03So then I was like, all right.
19:04I say, as a man, I'll go out and do it.
19:06But I say, as a woman, I want three sandwiches when I finish.
19:09The woman in the office started going on.
19:11And I say, this is the same s***.
19:14Okay.
19:14Right?
19:15But that's me.
19:16That was me reacting.
19:17So years later, understanding that I have to understand who I am, no matter what somebody come with, because I cannot control what people say.
19:26Correct.
19:26I cannot control if people want to control me or try to manipulate me.
19:30People have the right to do whatever they want.
19:32So whether it is a spouse, a mother, a sister who come in to try to manipulate you or not, I have to know why I am as a man.
19:40So if as a man, my philosophy is I helping women with the groceries, then that's my philosophy.
19:46If my philosophy is something else, I shouldn't be persuaded or dissuaded by someone else.
19:52So let me ask you, because I'm hearing what you're saying and it really is giving me, trying to get down to the nitty gritty of what is really forming as a view in my head.
20:06Are we saying that if a man tells another man to man up based on what is an understanding of being a man, that I wouldn't say it's not cool, but it's within their right.
20:20It can't be misogynistic if it's coming from a man to another man to say, this is the behaviors that we deem.
20:26Not necessarily. Some men don't even know what a man is.
20:29Right.
20:30It comes to the same kind of intoxication, you know.
20:33It's all about what you believe a man is. Everybody have their own reasons.
20:38So are you saying that we should not say man up is what a man...
20:40No, you could say it, but you as a person need to know who you are and what you believe in.
20:46And once you know you are being a true man, again, it comes from back to where you are saying, what is a man?
20:53And make sure you are fulfilling those qualities and then anybody could say what they want.
20:56Right now, the entire population of Trinidad is telling me that, me, I will never be a man.
21:05Could they say as a little boy all the time?
21:07Or a little boy?
21:07Yeah, I will never be a man, ever.
21:10I could be 50.
21:11They wouldn't seem as that.
21:12They seem as a little boy.
21:14I met Marshall in Calypso Monarch three weeks ago.
21:16He say, Aaron, you will never be a big man in the public eye.
21:20I have gray hair and they still call me boy, you know.
21:25So, but it's about what you see yourself as.
21:29Not because the people say, you know, telling you so and so.
21:32That does not mean you're not a man.
21:34You have to know what a man is and once you fulfill those qualities, you're a man.
21:39I think it's in context and it's according to who telling you to man up.
21:42So, sometimes women tell you man up because they see the potential in you that you might not even see at the point in time.
21:49A lot of women start, we could start with your grandmom, your mom, a woman, a wife.
21:55They could see you, they see the greatness in you and sometimes they're just giving you nuggets to help you find yourself too.
22:01Because we, you know, you're sometimes caught up in your life and you might not see the bigger picture.
22:07I think if a man telling you man up, if the man template and his blueprint is one that you could admire, that you respect,
22:14you will take him, you will take his words, I think.
22:17You will take it and hold on to it and try to develop on what you would have mentioned.
22:22If it's a man who look like he had a lot of man up too, he could be telling you that he will take it with that grain of salt.
22:28So, I think it's all in context, according to the circumstance and who telling you man up.
22:33But most times when somebody tell you to man up, it's really to tell you to, you know, back up.
22:39Back up.
22:39To pull up your pants, get it going, step up.
22:43But what if that person don't have the right intentions or mean good for you and they're selling you man up for their own selfish gain?
22:53What if you have $3,000 in your bank account or let me say $30,000 and this person, this wife of yours or lady wants this car or whatever
23:03and she's telling you man up and buy me the car.
23:05But if you do that, you will now have no money to feed it your rent, mortgage your house.
23:10But she who you believe in is selling you man up.
23:13You no longer going to know in yourself, I am already being a man.
23:18I'm providing, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.
23:20But because you want something means that I am not being a man.
23:24So, you said that earlier and I agree with you that the persons or persons in your life,
23:31that if you know to yourself that you're doing everything you can to be what at that point you define yourself or define as a man,
23:39then those people aren't the people to be in your life.
23:42But what if they're not there to be part of your story or to encourage your story,
23:48to help you write a positive end to your story,
23:51then even when they exit or you turn another page,
23:57you are still left with that void where what you perceive as a man and you're trying to do,
24:03you're not getting there as yet.
24:05How are you then in the discussion, how are you then there to deal with where you want
24:11or how do you become that man that knew yourself?
24:14If I have all of the attributes and the money and everything,
24:18I think, okay, well, it takes A, B, and C to be a man and I'm fulfilling that.
24:22But what about if it's A, B, and C and I'm only getting to A, B,
24:27and I'm not accomplishing C, within yourself, you don't feel like a man.
24:31So, when somebody tells you man up, it's an easy target.
24:34I would say, and I like Aaron that you started speaking about spirituality
24:41because as a man, and this is, I say, in my opinion,
24:45because people could disagree, there has to be an aspect of spirituality.
24:49For a good period of my life, I didn't have the spiritual aspects of things
24:53because of how I grew up and it had a little trauma with that
24:56and being forced into spirituality, so I rejected it.
24:59But after a while, I found no way back.
25:01And I say, and have that spiritual backing
25:03because however you view spirituality,
25:06I believe that something higher does always talk to us,
25:09no matter how you want to define it.
25:11We could call it intuition, the universe.
25:13You know, in Trinidad, we say, well, I had a mind something.
25:16Tell me X, Y, Z.
25:17You know of yourself what you want to do and what feels right.
25:21So, whether it is you're buying the car for your wife
25:24or you're not buying the car, something about it feels right.
25:28And when you're along the path of a man,
25:29and I think one major aspect is,
25:31even though I don't have my doctorate yet,
25:35if I'm putting things in place to get my doctorate,
25:37I'm reaching there.
25:38So, I'm not quite there yet.
25:39So, as a man, let me say, my template is
25:42to have a doctorate,
25:43have at least a million dollars in the bank,
25:45have two houses I just given you,
25:47but I haven't reached there yet,
25:48but I'm putting things in place to do it.
25:50But if I'm not putting things in place,
25:52you know of yourself where you have the deficit.
25:54So, when somebody hits you,
25:57man, first, you will start to think,
25:59wait now, I know I'm wrong, you know.
26:01I know I'm supposed to be studying this, you know.
26:03I know I'm supposed to.
26:04So, when it hits you,
26:05because of your own insecurity,
26:07now, then I have nothing to do with the person,
26:08and that's what I'm saying,
26:10our own self,
26:11the own insecurity.
26:12So, that question you're asking, Robert,
26:15that I think,
26:16once you're on the trajectory,
26:17so, I have an old car,
26:20but I don't have no loans.
26:22Somebody could be telling me,
26:23well, it's better you buy a Benz,
26:24but I know the Benz,
26:25I had to take a loan for it.
26:26But as a man, I know,
26:27the peace of mind I get every month is,
26:29I don't have to pay somebody anything.
26:32So, then I could say,
26:33I drive my old car.
26:34What happened to you, boy?
26:35Why is she driving that old car?
26:36Why are you driving?
26:37I know,
26:38men have no loan to pay,
26:40but that takes a certain fortitude,
26:42and that's why I would say,
26:43we men have to man up.
26:45And that's what you're saying,
26:47that goes back to what you were saying earlier,
26:48about insecurities,
26:50when somebody hits you and tells you,
26:52be a man.
26:53When you know you're doing your best,
26:56when somebody tells you,
26:57be a man,
26:58it's not going to hurt you.
26:59But when you know you're being lackadaisical,
27:01or you have the old car,
27:02because of you make a mistake in life,
27:05or you're not doing what you're supposed to do,
27:06so you end up like that.
27:08That's when it will hit you.
27:08But when you know you have your old car,
27:10or whatever,
27:11because you're doing your best,
27:13and you're making sure you don't end up in shippiness,
27:16that shouldn't hurt you.
27:17But guys,
27:18and Jay,
27:18I want you to talk about this.
27:20These things are utopian.
27:22In a perfect world,
27:23No,
27:24you always come with this utopian thing.
27:25Because when we talk about,
27:28because the reality is,
27:30we all have insecurities.
27:31Yes.
27:32And because we all have insecurities,
27:34Johan say,
27:35and Aaron,
27:38to say that,
27:39listen,
27:39once you know it is to be a man,
27:40you could be comfortable,
27:41and you could,
27:42somebody tells you something,
27:43you could deflect,
27:43because you feel comfortable in your skin.
27:45But the reality is,
27:47is there's always that peace.
27:49When someone says something,
27:50you know,
27:50they say,
27:50sticks and stones may break my bones,
27:52but words will never harm me.
27:53Right?
27:53Right?
27:55That's horse crap.
27:56Because words offend.
27:58And the right person,
27:59or the wrong person,
28:00saying the right thing,
28:02or the wrong thing,
28:03depending on how you look at it,
28:04to you,
28:05right meaning,
28:05the one that is going to penetrate,
28:07is going to have an effect on you.
28:09And therefore,
28:10you yourself,
28:11may be doing,
28:12even though you didn't study,
28:14you didn't do this,
28:15you didn't do that,
28:16a lot of times,
28:16you already know those things.
28:18And how do you then course correct?
28:19Or are you in a position to course correct?
28:22At that point?
28:23Or do you know how to course correct?
28:24Or have the desire to?
28:26Sometimes I try to look at it from the angle of,
28:29it's not so much what you're called,
28:31there's what you're answer to.
28:32So really and truly,
28:34to me,
28:34outside of,
28:36I know we talk a lot about material,
28:37things.
28:38I think that do even cross my mind
28:40when I consider what being a man is about.
28:43I think being a man
28:43is being able to be comfortable in your skin,
28:47being able to have self-control,
28:49and being able to know
28:50that you can deal with the consequence of your action.
28:53If you make a hard line decision
28:55to say,
28:55you know what,
28:56this lady here trying to really push my hand,
29:01extend my pocket beyond my reality
29:04at this point in time,
29:05and she want to go take her next man or leave,
29:06hey,
29:07so be it.
29:08You just let it be.
29:09But is that reality,
29:10Jay?
29:11Is that reality?
29:12Do we really as men,
29:13why do then men beat women
29:15as a result of getting horned?
29:17Why do men,
29:17you know,
29:18women chain man up in a party
29:19when they say,
29:20hey,
29:20be a man and a man touch?
29:21Because they're not being men.
29:23And this is what I'm saying,
29:24but the reality is
29:25that in some way,
29:26shape,
29:26or form,
29:26as much as you might come here
29:27and say,
29:28I am a man in that instance,
29:29and you will just say,
29:30well,
29:31let me leave the woman,
29:32there might be another instance
29:33or another part of your life
29:34that you are not going to take that-
29:37Like I said,
29:37take and control.
29:38You're not going to man up.
29:39Because when you take chin up,
29:41easy.
29:42You know,
29:43to me,
29:44that is when people can get on their skin.
29:45Now,
29:46in a scenario,
29:46like you brought one that is real.
29:48Somebody with your woman in a party,
29:50a man disrespect her,
29:51touch her,
29:52and she decides,
29:53hey,
29:53what are you going to do about that?
29:56The fact is,
29:57I do think women understand
29:58that when men confront each other,
29:59the likelihood of violence
30:01and the likelihood of someone being
30:04either extremely injured
30:06or death is a possibility
30:07with certain confrontations.
30:09So some men,
30:10to avoid all that,
30:12they just take the loss
30:14and they say,
30:15babes,
30:16let's go.
30:17And you ought to be a man
30:18and be comfortable
30:19and be sure
30:20in that particular decision.
30:21Unless somebody comes physically
30:23with an assault,
30:25well,
30:25they have no choice.
30:26But in a scenario like that,
30:28you have a decision to make.
30:29And a lot of times,
30:30if somebody tell you man up,
30:31oh,
30:31yeah,
30:31man up because of a scenario like that,
30:33because you're trying to avoid
30:34the bigger picture.
30:36I really know what to say.
30:37I think,
30:38you know,
30:39being able to control your emotion,
30:41especially when things are volatile,
30:43when it hit the fan,
30:43that is a major hallmark to me
30:46of being a man.
30:47You have a choice throughout it all,
30:49even if it becomes physical
30:51or to walk away too.
30:53I mean,
30:54it gets harder at that point in time.
30:56But to walk away is
30:58your choice still.
31:00Because I could tell you
31:01from being a person
31:03who's a victim of bullying,
31:05that walking away
31:07was one of the best things
31:09that I ever did too.
31:10because you started,
31:11again,
31:12it comes from knowing yourself.
31:14Now,
31:14if I did retaliate,
31:16at that point in time,
31:17it was like
31:17a peak moment
31:18for Aaron Duncan
31:19where people now
31:21start to know Aaron
31:22in that light.
31:23And let's say like
31:24for some reason,
31:25I retaliate into that
31:26and all over the news,
31:27Aaron Duncan
31:28was in a big fight.
31:29And bam,
31:30bam,
31:30bam,
31:30bam,
31:30bam,
31:30that can now tarnish
31:31your career and your,
31:32yeah.
31:34so I walked away.
31:36You know?
31:37So you have a choice
31:38throughout everything.
31:41Just at the point in time,
31:43whatever your,
31:44wherever your mind is at,
31:45that is in your control.
31:46But it comes back
31:47to what you're saying
31:48with self-control
31:49and stuff like that.
31:50Nobody should ever be able
31:52to influence you
31:54to do something
31:55that you don't want to do.
31:56But at the end of the day,
31:58besides being a man
31:59or a woman or whatever,
32:00we are all at the end of the day
32:02humans
32:02and no human is perfect.
32:04We will all make mistakes.
32:05Adam,
32:06it starts from Adam and Eve,
32:08you know?
32:09Eve,
32:10you know.
32:11Adam didn't man up.
32:12Yeah.
32:12Because here we see,
32:13he said,
32:14is the woman.
32:15Yeah.
32:16And that's an important thing.
32:17And I come back,
32:18G-O-A saying,
32:19Before you come back,
32:20we need to take,
32:21we need to take a break.
32:22So you could,
32:23you could take,
32:24you could take that thought,
32:25look at the camera
32:26and you could take that thought
32:27and go to the break with it.
32:29The thought is,
32:30is that each man
32:31has to be comfortable
32:32in his own skin,
32:33forgetting material things.
32:34Right?
32:35And then I go in here
32:35and what he's saying
32:36about having a choice.
32:37And I heard a quote
32:38that says,
32:39and this was especially for men,
32:41you don't have to be right,
32:42but you have to be sure.
32:43Yeah.
32:44So whatever decision you're making,
32:45because you could be,
32:46we could look at that right and wrong
32:47for any decision you make.
32:49Right.
32:49But you have to be sure about it
32:50and sure meaning,
32:51be able to face the consequences
32:52of your action.
32:53I wouldn't say consequences,
32:55face the reaction,
32:56action, reaction,
32:57the reaction
32:59or the repercussions of it.
33:00And that's what I think is,
33:02when you say man up,
33:03being a man is facing
33:04the consequences
33:05of your actions
33:06or your choices.
33:07Yeah.
33:09Did you take any break?
33:10And,
33:11and thank you very much
33:12for tuning in thus far
33:13as we head to the break.
33:14Yeah.
33:15Welcome back to manhood.
33:27This is a few men
33:28talking to all men.
33:30We're not,
33:30we're not speaking
33:31on behalf of all men,
33:33but we are a few.
33:34And we're talking about this,
33:35this term man up
33:37and exactly what does it mean
33:38for us
33:39when it is said
33:40in certain situations,
33:41it depends who it is said by.
33:43And I want to say that
33:46in my walk,
33:47in my journey with man up,
33:49it's not an easy thing
33:50because there are many times
33:52I feel my own insecurities,
33:54whether somebody tells me
33:55man up or not.
33:56When I look and I see
33:57things that I desire,
34:00right?
34:00And this is not necessarily
34:01envy or jealousy,
34:02it's just things I want.
34:03I look at myself and say,
34:05am I doing
34:06the best I can do?
34:09Right?
34:09And then if the answer is no,
34:11then I would feel
34:11a particular way
34:12and sometimes
34:13depending on the feeling,
34:15I would have to tell myself
34:16man up
34:16because if I start to feel sad,
34:18what's the point
34:19of feeling sad?
34:20What does sadness really do?
34:21I'm not suppressing it.
34:22I acknowledge that I'm sad.
34:24So I'm adding,
34:25that's me with myself.
34:26Now, when we go with
34:27somebody telling me,
34:28so if my wife,
34:29my mom,
34:30even our abridging
34:31tell me man up
34:32or something
34:32that means man up,
34:34I now have to
34:35to check myself
34:37and sometimes
34:37it is hurt.
34:38But you see,
34:39it's hurt.
34:40It's not that
34:40they hurt me.
34:42It's that I choose
34:43and this is my premise
34:45always that nobody
34:46can't make you feel
34:47a certain way.
34:48As men,
34:48we have control
34:49of our feelings.
34:50It's how we perceive
34:51people comments.
34:52We choose how to feel.
34:54So somebody can't
34:54offend you,
34:55you choose to be offended.
34:57Why offend it?
34:58Because maybe you know
34:59that you're not doing
35:00all you can do
35:01and that's sometimes
35:02with me.
35:02Sometimes I get hurt
35:03and I can tell you
35:04sometimes my wife
35:04tell me something.
35:05I'm like,
35:06what she tell me
35:06that for?
35:07There's some semblance
35:08of truth.
35:09But the truth is
35:09I could be doing better
35:11and I know
35:11I could be doing better.
35:13And I say that
35:13because all of us men
35:14we won't be stone
35:16and stoic all the time
35:17and even for me
35:18stone and stoic.
35:19But if we could
35:20acknowledge
35:21that quote unquote
35:23negative emotion
35:24of sadness,
35:24offense,
35:25wherever it is
35:25and then transmute it
35:27and turn it into something.
35:29You know,
35:29we have the term
35:30bad mind.
35:31Right?
35:31Be bad minded.
35:33So somebody tell me,
35:34hey boy,
35:34what kind of man
35:35are you going to make
35:35and they keep telling me
35:36that you could use
35:37that fuel.
35:37Now you say,
35:38you know what?
35:38I'm using that fuel
35:39to get what I want
35:40and not necessarily
35:41to stick it to that person
35:42but at least I can be proud
35:44and say,
35:45okay,
35:45I'm comfortable
35:46in the man I am.
35:47Yeah.
35:48I think part of being a man
35:49when I really analyze
35:50the conversation today
35:51is to more or less
35:52be premeditated,
35:53you know,
35:54to in my mind
35:55have an understanding
35:58as to what
35:59your course of action is
36:01especially if you're
36:02going to make
36:02a drastic move in life.
36:04You have to plan that out
36:05and map that out
36:06in your head
36:07and make a decision
36:08and then go
36:08as opposed to being reactive.
36:10You know,
36:11think about it deep
36:11because in the scenario
36:13like as we mentioned,
36:16you know,
36:16you're called to act
36:17on something,
36:18you're called to the front line.
36:21If you're going to engage
36:22this particular person
36:24or threat
36:24as a man,
36:25if somebody tell you
36:26man up in a scenario,
36:28you have to play that
36:28through in your mind,
36:29you know,
36:30you have to play that
36:30through,
36:30you have to understand
36:32how far this could go
36:33and if you're willing
36:33to deal with the consequence
36:34and the circumstance
36:35of where you're about
36:36to take this.
36:37That's why sometimes
36:38some people might walk away.
36:40They might say
36:40you're not manning up,
36:41but you understand that
36:42is it worth it?
36:45Being a man,
36:46sometimes you have to
36:46protect your interests,
36:47protect all what you've
36:48built so far,
36:49protect your family.
36:50Sometimes better to take
36:50the L and keep it pushing.
36:51Or if you decide to engage,
36:53you decide you're going
36:54all out.
36:54Where there's court,
36:56where there's death,
36:57you're going.
36:57And you talk about love.
36:59You talk about the connection
37:00to love.
37:01Yeah.
37:02I said that sometimes
37:03love could weaken a man.
37:05You know,
37:06sometimes when,
37:07I think part of the main
37:09factor of what we were
37:09talking about,
37:10when your wife or somebody
37:12tells you,
37:12be a man and buy this
37:14for me or do this for me,
37:16defend me,
37:17you know,
37:18some things that we does,
37:20that is coming to our mind
37:22is,
37:22well,
37:22if you don't do this,
37:23you might lose your man.
37:25And you would obviously
37:26love this person
37:28to the point where
37:29you don't want to lose her.
37:30And then it causes you
37:31to do some certain things.
37:33However,
37:34that weakens a man
37:35according to if you're
37:38doing something that
37:39you're not supposed to do
37:41just to keep somebody.
37:42And that is the problem
37:43with certain things.
37:45But even if it weakens you,
37:46it doesn't take away
37:48the fact that it's a reality.
37:50You know,
37:50it doesn't take away
37:51the fact that,
37:52as you were talking about
37:53Johan say,
37:54that those are feelings
37:55that you yourself
37:56are aware of.
37:58And you mightn't,
37:58you mightn't always
37:59like the message,
38:01but you must heed
38:01what is being said.
38:04And so you,
38:05you get that from your wife,
38:06your wife.
38:06Consider, not necessarily.
38:07Heed.
38:07Heed means do it.
38:08You consider what is being said.
38:10You don't have to heed it.
38:11You don't always have to heed it,
38:13but you may want to heed
38:14certain things in that message.
38:15So if you,
38:16but if you know to yourself
38:17it's certain things
38:18that you are aware of,
38:19your own insecurities,
38:20then you should heed the message
38:22because you already know
38:23that that is where
38:24you want to be.
38:25You know,
38:25if you don't want to be
38:26quote unquote a man
38:27and what we define as men
38:29is what I'd like us
38:30to sort of close off
38:31with in our own thinking
38:32of what that basic
38:33understanding of a man is.
38:35Because when we say man up,
38:37a man,
38:38your understanding,
38:39your understanding,
38:39your understanding
38:40might be different from mine,
38:41but we must have
38:42a basic understanding.
38:44And we've spoken about it
38:45several times
38:45on several conversations
38:47on manhood
38:47as to what that definition is.
38:49Is that definition a leader?
38:51Is that definition
38:51someone who has
38:52a good moral compass?
38:54Is that definition,
38:55you know,
38:55someone who's strong
38:56and takes care of his family?
38:58What is that
38:59that we can close off
39:01or summarize with
39:02that makes a man?
39:03So when we say man up,
39:04we can line it up
39:06side by side
39:07and make an assessment.
39:09Are we meeting?
39:10Are we ticking off
39:11these things
39:12as we go along?
39:13So I would like to say
39:16that just, you know,
39:18and I want to put this
39:20to you guys.
39:21You're in a situation
39:22where there's a fire
39:24or gunshots go off
39:26and you decide
39:28your survival instincts,
39:29you want to live
39:30with their women
39:31and children running.
39:34Right?
39:35Do you run and save them?
39:38Do you run and save
39:40one or two?
39:41There may be other men around.
39:44What is that
39:45if you go into
39:45that survival instinct?
39:46You may want to get home
39:47to protect your own family
39:49or to be there
39:50for your family.
39:51But in society,
39:53what will then happen?
39:55If you're,
39:55if that,
39:56paint that picture,
39:58and I'm going to use that
39:58as a scenario
39:59because I would,
40:00I would like to think
40:00that if there's
40:02a scenario like that,
40:03you would,
40:03your human instinct
40:04would kick in
40:05to protect
40:07and save.
40:08Boy,
40:09stuck and roll,
40:09boy.
40:10You don't know
40:10protect and save.
40:11Your family,
40:12you know?
40:12Yeah,
40:13people will.
40:13Self-preservation.
40:14In a situation
40:15where there's
40:16other people
40:17and there's a fire
40:18and whatever
40:18and your family
40:20home and you want
40:21to protect other people?
40:23Well,
40:24I mean,
40:24if it,
40:24if it possible,
40:25I mean,
40:26listen,
40:26again,
40:26it's all in context,
40:27right?
40:27If,
40:28if on your way out,
40:29you really could grab
40:29somebody where you could,
40:31you know,
40:31but adrenaline,
40:33you know,
40:35I guess self-preservation,
40:36a lot of times people,
40:37people,
40:38I see men,
40:38emergency,
40:39man run and leave
40:39the wife and thing,
40:40you know?
40:40That's what I'm saying,
40:41man run and leave
40:42the wife.
40:43Come on.
40:45And in some situations,
40:47when it does clear,
40:47they might say,
40:48how the man move so?
40:50What kind of man you is,
40:51boy?
40:51I want to be the person
40:53and maybe I might get bashed,
40:55but in some situations,
40:56you may have to do
40:58that such thing.
40:59It may come up to
41:01where you have to do that
41:02because,
41:03um,
41:04life is important.
41:06When we,
41:07um,
41:08were born,
41:08we weren't born with,
41:10um,
41:10a wife
41:11or any of these things.
41:12We were born by ourselves
41:13and have to
41:14live our own destiny.
41:17So,
41:17in that time,
41:18maybe,
41:19you,
41:20to preserve your life,
41:21you had to do certain things.
41:23Um,
41:24that's just,
41:25that's just how I see it,
41:26you know?
41:26Yeah,
41:27I mean,
41:27those are scenarios,
41:28again,
41:28you know,
41:28scenarios where you could
41:29save somebody,
41:31but I don't think,
41:33life don't have,
41:34we don't have superheroes
41:35in the real world.
41:37It's on movies,
41:38you know?
41:38So,
41:38you not,
41:39you wasn't,
41:40as a man,
41:41you're not brought here
41:41to be a superhero,
41:43to save everybody
41:44in the world.
41:45So,
41:46but that pressure,
41:47Aaron,
41:47that pressure,
41:48Jay,
41:48that pressure,
41:49Johan,
41:49say,
41:50of just that scenario,
41:51because if,
41:52if,
41:52if in that,
41:53if in that light,
41:54you are,
41:55you are,
41:55you know,
41:56there's,
41:56there's video,
41:57you know,
41:57in the advent of social media now,
41:58and someone shows that,
42:00the question by the public
42:01would be,
42:01what kind of man you is,
42:02boy?
42:02So,
42:03you're being,
42:03so you're being peer pressure then.
42:05But a lot,
42:05but a lot of the context
42:07of being a man
42:07is under that same peer pressure,
42:09hence the term,
42:10man up.
42:11So,
42:11that mean,
42:12and what the reason is,
42:13a real important thing,
42:14and this really impacted me
42:15because,
42:17as,
42:17as a man,
42:18me personally,
42:18I don't want to be under
42:19anybody control,
42:20you know?
42:20Yeah.
42:21I am able to make my decisions
42:24even if real people don't like it.
42:27Like it.
42:27And that is the only way
42:29we'll be free.
42:29Correct.
42:30And if I choose to put myself in danger
42:33because I'm afraid of what people,
42:35afraid of what people think,
42:38then that is not a man.
42:39That is not a man.
42:40You're weakening yourself already.
42:41That is not a man at all.
42:42And when I say,
42:43it will be easy,
42:44you know,
42:44because in this day and age,
42:46you might consider it.
42:47But the truth is,
42:49that freedom that we really want,
42:51as men,
42:52forget where they have a family,
42:53the first thing as an individual,
42:55you want to be able to relate to the world
42:57and embrace the world
42:58in the way you want to.
43:00And if we are afraid,
43:00because I feel like,
43:02that is a freaking problem now.
43:03No, no.
43:03We men so afraid
43:05of what somebody might think.
43:07Correct.
43:08We are afraid.
43:09Not just what they might think,
43:11you know, Jay,
43:11but sometimes you just
43:12take out what they may think
43:14and just say,
43:15men are afraid.
43:16Men are afraid.
43:17If gunshots going off
43:18or in a situation of a fight,
43:20right?
43:21Now,
43:21I was brought up in an environment,
43:23you know,
43:23I had to do karate,
43:24I had to do kickboxing,
43:25all these different things.
43:26So I've got to handle my stories,
43:27right?
43:27So I might be one
43:29that is not in that position,
43:30but I had a friend
43:31and I saw,
43:32back in the day,
43:33you know,
43:34we go and party
43:35and,
43:35but then it was bottle
43:36and things like that,
43:37right?
43:37It was actual fisticuffs.
43:38And I saw him,
43:40I literally saw him shake
43:41like a leaf behind me
43:43because he didn't know
43:45how to approach the situation.
43:47He wasn't a fighter.
43:48Nothing was wrong in that.
43:49You're not born to generally just...
43:51And that don't make him
43:52less of a man.
43:53And,
43:53but again,
43:53and this is what I'm saying,
43:55but the pressure...
43:56It depends on it.
43:56It depends what your friend
43:58defines as a man
43:58because if he defines himself
44:00as a man,
44:01as somebody who don't want to fight,
44:03then it's fine,
44:05right?
44:05Because by his frame,
44:06but if in himself,
44:08he know,
44:08you know what,
44:09I really,
44:09long time now,
44:10I should have gone to a karate class.
44:12I should have,
44:12whoever it is,
44:13but I've been procrastinating
44:14or,
44:15or whatever it is,
44:16right?
44:16Or whatever reason,
44:17he not...
44:18But you just want to get hit.
44:19You don't want to get hit.
44:20You don't want to be in a situation
44:21of potential,
44:21as you said at the start,
44:23of death or extreme violence.
44:25I have to be honest about that
44:26because we asked about the scenario
44:28about what you were doing
44:29in certain situations.
44:30You see a man run.
44:31What I've learned
44:32after speaking with men
44:33in those situations,
44:34even being in my,
44:35in situations like that myself,
44:37we cannot escape
44:39or we cannot pretend
44:41who we really are,
44:42you know?
44:42We could put a facade
44:44out about what we,
44:45who we think we are as men,
44:47but deep down,
44:48we know who we are as men.
44:49So when there's a scenario
44:50where you can't think,
44:52you have no instances to think,
44:53the truth of you as a man
44:55comes out.
44:56So if we're going man up now,
44:58right?
44:58And this may be my summary.
44:59I feel like a summary
45:00coming here.
45:01Not maybe,
45:02this will be your summary.
45:03Right, right.
45:03Thanks for the question.
45:05My summary is
45:06that term man up.
45:08One,
45:10ladies,
45:11gentlemen,
45:12brothers,
45:12anybody around you,
45:13when you're using that term,
45:15be mindful too
45:16of how you use it.
45:17Because if you're using it
45:18as a dagger
45:19or a cut,
45:20trying to cut somebody down,
45:22right,
45:23that could never be healthy.
45:24So be mindful of it.
45:25That's one.
45:26I'm putting that disclaimer out.
45:27Then,
45:28now we come in as men.
45:29As men,
45:30people could say
45:31whatever they want.
45:32We cannot control
45:33what people think.
45:34So it's our responsibility,
45:35I would say to man up,
45:37our responsibility
45:38to decide
45:39what kind of man
45:40we want to be.
45:42And then,
45:42and then stick to that.
45:43Not to say
45:44that you may not take advice
45:45and you may improve yourself.
45:47But decide who you are
45:49because we live in a society
45:51where people will use words,
45:53try to manipulate you.
45:54Not even directly,
45:55social media
45:56trying to tell you
45:57what it is to be a man.
45:58This one,
45:59that one.
45:59So as a man,
46:00one,
46:01be sure of yourself.
46:02You mightn't be there
46:03because I'm not completely there yet either.
46:05But I have an idea
46:06and put the work towards it.
46:08So when the pressure comes,
46:10I am able to,
46:12even though I mightn't be right,
46:14at least are sure
46:15of what they're going to do
46:16and face the consequences,
46:18repercussions,
46:19or reaction
46:19to my choice.
46:21Yeah.
46:22Yeah, powerful.
46:23I think, you know,
46:24manning up,
46:24it's something that
46:27you could even
46:27have that conversation
46:29with yourself,
46:29you know,
46:30and have that particular template.
46:32That's why it's important
46:33to have sometimes mentors
46:34or certain mentor,
46:36whether it be a grandfather,
46:37a father,
46:38uncle,
46:38somebody who would have
46:39set a tone
46:39and you look at them
46:41as a kind of benchmark.
46:43Now, you're not trying
46:44to be like them,
46:45but you look at their success
46:46and that's why it's important
46:47to know sometimes family history
46:49to do research
46:50on people that you admire
46:51and you just try to use
46:54that particular example.
46:55At least that works
46:55for me so far.
46:57And I think it's about
46:58being premeditated,
46:59being in control,
47:00being in control
47:01of your emotion
47:02and being in control
47:03of your thoughts
47:05in this space,
47:06especially when things
47:07get a little tough,
47:09when it hit the fan.
47:10That is when you have
47:11to be the coolest.
47:11You have to be the coolest
47:12man in the room.
47:14That's what manning up
47:14means to me.
47:15Despite all the chaos
47:17of the world
47:18and the darkness,
47:18you still have to be
47:19that light.
47:20And to me,
47:20that's what that would
47:22consider manning up.
47:23And I don't think
47:23it's something bad.
47:25It's just the context.
47:26Okay.
47:27Dero?
47:27I think my answer
47:29would be a summary
47:30of what these both men said.
47:32You know,
47:33it's about keeping your cool.
47:35It's about knowing
47:36who you are
47:37and what you're supposed
47:39to do in this life.
47:42A blind man
47:43could be more of a man
47:44than the person
47:45who could see.
47:47A disabled man
47:48could be more of a man
47:49than the person
47:50who has everything.
47:51Because it's all about
47:52what you,
47:54as a man,
47:55is supposed to contribute
47:56to this life.
47:57And knowing
47:58what a man is
47:59and knowing
48:00who you are
48:00is more important.
48:02Will make you
48:03more of a man
48:03than the person
48:04who is just a male
48:06and don't know
48:07what is his purpose
48:08in life.
48:09Yeah.
48:10Purpose important.
48:11Yeah.
48:11That purpose,
48:12I mean,
48:13I think I will have to
48:14summarize your summary
48:16of their summary.
48:17Because,
48:18I mean,
48:19you've all gentlemen
48:20said it very powerfully.
48:21There's not really
48:22a lot more to say
48:24but to probably
48:25just reiterate
48:26a lot of what was said here
48:28about being cool,
48:30about that understanding
48:32of what it takes
48:32to be a man.
48:34And when I say
48:34what it takes
48:35in terms of being a man
48:36in this world
48:38is not,
48:38you know,
48:38we talk about equality
48:39and so on
48:40but the innate
48:41pressures
48:42to be a man
48:43and to live that
48:45that we know of.
48:46That's why we need each other.
48:47Which is why we need each other.
48:48We need each other
48:49to be better as brothers.
48:50Of course.
48:50And not to tear down
48:51but to understand.
48:52Accepting responsibility.
48:54Accepting responsibility.
48:55Taking ownership
48:56or repercussions,
48:57you know,
48:58being able to,
48:59you know that
49:01certain choices you make
49:02might have a particular
49:03direction
49:05and you just deal with it.
49:06Yeah.
49:06You have to be able
49:07to make up your mind.
49:09And that,
49:10is the importance
49:11of shows like this
49:13that we must
49:14band together
49:14as brothers
49:15and be better
49:16as brothers
49:16and not aim
49:17to tear down.
49:18Yeah.
49:19And to,
49:20so when we use words
49:21like man up
49:21and just to address
49:22the word,
49:23you know,
49:23when we talk about misogyny,
49:24it's really a phrase,
49:26something that starts off
49:27with another man
49:28telling another man
49:29to man up
49:30based on what
49:30the perception is
49:31or their thoughts
49:33are on what a man is.
49:34So what we need to do
49:35in being there
49:36for our brothers
49:37is to really say
49:39step up.
49:40Step up
49:41based on an understanding
49:42of being a man.
49:44what we want to,
49:46whether it be context of
49:47which would be
49:48the basics of leadership,
49:50the basics of a good
49:51moral compass,
49:52the basics of
49:53being a good person
49:55and being a representation
49:57of a man,
49:58of a human
49:59and being there
50:00with those innate values
50:01which is to protect,
50:02which is to
50:03hunt.
50:05Right.
50:06Yeah.
50:06All of these different things
50:07that come to
50:08the understanding of
50:09when we say man up,
50:11not in a negative way
50:12but things that we,
50:13ourselves would know
50:15and I think it really
50:15comes down to more
50:16that man up,
50:18that inflection.
50:20Yeah.
50:21That's what it really
50:22comes down to.
50:23Are we at the standard
50:25that we want to be
50:27or that we know
50:28because we always know
50:29right and wrong.
50:30We always know
50:31the better choice to make
50:33and it's about being that.
50:34It's to be
50:35have the courage
50:36to be yourself.
50:37Have the courage
50:38to be yourself.
50:38And sometimes it's not about
50:39where we want to be
50:40but where we need to be.
50:43Sometimes you may want
50:44a fancy life,
50:47fancy car,
50:47fancy whatever,
50:48whatever
50:48but you're not looking
50:50at what you need
50:52and what we really need
50:53in this life.
50:54Sometimes we already have it
50:55and we don't appreciate it
50:57of what we already,
50:58what we need
50:59and what we already have.
51:00We have,
51:01we woke up this morning
51:02health and strength.
51:05All our body intact.
51:06You know,
51:07we have everything that we,
51:08we might have everything
51:09that we need already
51:10and thinking about
51:11what we want
51:12and making ourselves
51:14feel less of a man
51:14because of what we want.
51:16Making ourselves feel
51:17less of a man.
51:18We fault it.
51:19You know,
51:19but sometimes
51:20it's about what you need
51:22and not what you want.
51:22We're doing it to ourselves
51:23and I have no better way
51:25to close
51:25but to understand
51:26we're doing it
51:27to ourselves.
51:28We are our own worst enemy.
51:30So,
51:31you're already a man.
51:33That much biology
51:34has shown us.
51:34You know,
51:36be that man
51:36and stay up.
51:37So,
51:38I'd like to thank
51:39Johansi,
51:39Aaron,
51:40Jay,
51:41always a pleasure.
51:42Always, always.
51:42This is Manhood.
51:43Please continue to tune in
51:44and,
51:46you know,
51:46hopefully,
51:47hopefully we've shared
51:48some insight
51:48to making...
51:50Hopefully we share insight.
51:51We share insight
51:52and hopefully you've made
51:54yourself
51:56want to be a better person
51:58going forward.
51:59Amen.
52:00Thank you very much.
52:00Well done, Jay.
52:04Manhood.
52:06Brought to you in part
52:07by Reboot Sports Drink.