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00:00:00Manhood, brought to you in part by Solomon's Bespoke.

00:00:05Manhood, brought to you in part by Reboot Sports Drink.

00:00:14Welcome to another conversation here on Manhood.

00:00:17The topic today is a really big one, a very interesting one.

00:00:21I know I say that quite a lot, but this one,

00:00:25I'm really curious to see how we dissect this particular topic

00:00:28and go granular.

00:00:30It's simply, responsibility does not define manhood.

00:00:34Let me say that again.

00:00:36Responsibility does not define manhood.

00:00:39So to have that discussion, to really go deep into that understanding

00:00:43and to give a better understanding for myself as well,

00:00:47Johansi IODK, Behavior Change Consultant,

00:00:50Lou Lyons, Mohamed Mouakil.

00:00:53Not bad.

00:00:54Not bad, not bad there.

00:00:55I'm also known as the duo as Freetown Collective.

00:00:59Certainly needs no introduction.

00:01:00I'm really, really happy to have you guys here

00:01:03for what could be ostensibly called our season finale for season three,

00:01:09even though the aim is to continue having these conversations

00:01:13because it's much, much needed.

00:01:15So Lou, I'm going to go straight in to you

00:01:17with regards to that topic.

00:01:21Responsibility does not define manhood, brother.

00:01:23Yeah, and more specifically, I would just pluralize it,

00:01:28responsibilities, because I want to couch it in what society would view

00:01:35as the utility of masculinity, of manhood, what men are supposed to do.

00:01:41And if they don't do that, then they're not deserving of being called men.

00:01:45So I don't think that that's helpful.

00:01:48I don't think that that's productive.

00:01:49I don't think it's humane.

00:01:52My brother here, Johanse, would know that in psychology,

00:01:58there's a group of thought called the gestalts,

00:02:01and they believe that the whole is more than just the sum of its moving parts.

00:02:06And if what we really want from men is for men to see themselves as whole human beings,

00:02:12having a whole human experience,

00:02:14you can't reduce mental responsibilities.

00:02:17We wouldn't get behavior changed like that.

00:02:20That's interesting, because I just started reading and doing research on our book,

00:02:28and the name of the book is The Manipulated Man.

00:02:33Right?

00:02:34Right.

00:02:34The premise behind the book is that, and it's a woman writer,

00:02:37is that men were never in control of society.

00:02:41That's facts.

00:02:42That women were always pulling the strings to get men to do all the utilities

00:02:46that they either didn't want to do or wasn't physically strong enough to do.

00:02:51So, you bring in this topic that men are not defined by their responsibilities

00:02:57is quite interesting, because that's what I grew up learning.

00:03:03That to be a man, I have to do X, Y, Z.

00:03:06And it may not be one standard, because in one family,

00:03:09it may have these certain responsibilities.

00:03:11In Trinidad, it may have Grenada, maybe different U.S., et cetera, et cetera.

00:03:16And because in different places, it have different responsibilities.

00:03:20And then every woman you meet, they also come from a different background

00:03:24of expecting what a man should do is like a moving goalpost.

00:03:29So, you can never score the goal.

00:03:30And then eventually, it will take a toll on you.

00:03:34So, I just need gents to really understand, you know,

00:03:37because as we use this first, the first segment for the opening part

00:03:41of the opening salvo is, of course, the topic.

00:03:43But then to have a real understanding of how we're going to shape

00:03:47the conversation going towards, you know, to closure

00:03:51of this particular, you know, show episode.

00:03:53So, when we say responsibilities doesn't define manhood,

00:03:58we're still saying that as a man, you have responsibilities.

00:04:01Of course.

00:04:02Okay.

00:04:03Yeah, and that's why he defined it, and he didn't say responsibility.

00:04:07So, responsibilities.

00:04:08It's a very big difference, right, between saying responsibility doesn't define...

00:04:11How you take one responsibility will define you as a human being.

00:04:15Well, let me give you an example of something, right?

00:04:17I come from a long line of men who, for them, their days were spent working hard.

00:04:24Hard work is how you get paid.

00:04:27How you get paid is how you handle your family, and that will define, right?

00:04:31So, growing up, my father would have taken me on real job sites,

00:04:35I mixed real cement and thing with it.

00:04:36And at a very early age, I decided for me, that wasn't what I wanted to do with my life.

00:04:40I was not trying to be as slow a laborer.

00:04:43That was not what I wanted to do.

00:04:45And I felt as though I was better at other things, right?

00:04:49And I remember once I hit mid-teens into my 20s,

00:04:54being around my father and his friends and a lot of the men of that era,

00:04:57when they shake your hand and your hand soft, that was a big thing.

00:05:01Like, it was a big thing.

00:05:03To the point where I was a man used to go in my room sometime

00:05:06and just be slapping the wall and thing,

00:05:08and doing anything I could do to get my hand hard.

00:05:12And then after a while, I had to kind of admit to myself,

00:05:14it was some ridiculous behavior I was dealing with,

00:05:16because what I just do all day, I was writing at the point in time.

00:05:19I was a student.

00:05:20I was not doing what my father and I was doing.

00:05:22Every now and then, yeah, I would go and land and cut some bush.

00:05:25I know I have these skills, but it's not how I earn in my living.

00:05:29But people still do that.

00:05:31I shook someone's hand.

00:05:33I mean, my hand isn't totally soft, but it's not hard like banger seed, you know?

00:05:37So therefore, they shook it and you could see where there was almost like a...

00:05:42But there's a lot of things that's tied into it, you know?

00:05:44There's a lot of things that's tied into that.

00:05:46And for a long time, I used to real feel that type of way.

00:05:50It has to tell me I just don't want to shake the hand

00:05:51because I know what you are going to say now, boy.

00:05:54Before you go in a moment, I'm real glad you shared that.

00:05:57And the previous episode, we discussed vulnerability and being able to...

00:06:04You see, the thing sometimes we men do to be considered men behind the scenes

00:06:10because in different places, in different scenarios,

00:06:13if you don't have these certain criteria

00:06:15or you're not fulfilling certain responsibilities,

00:06:18then it really is less of a man.

00:06:20And just thinking about that,

00:06:21I understand why we are so much bars in Trinidad.

00:06:27I understand why the casino will always make money

00:06:31because even once, I remember, I was doing golf

00:06:36and the golf club I was in,

00:06:39they have a residence where you could spend the night

00:06:42and many men say they come here to get away from responsibilities

00:06:46because even though they're responsible...

00:06:49And these men were, I told you,

00:06:50these are upperclassmen who have the feeling,

00:06:52but they were just tired of one day and good enough,

00:06:58one day and not good enough.

00:07:00So I'm real glad you shared that because there's so many things.

00:07:04But I think there's this extreme fear, right?

00:07:08Especially, again, from the generations before ours,

00:07:11that I think that we're working it out.

00:07:14I think we're working it out,

00:07:15but only in certain parts of the society.

00:07:18I don't think, as a general rule, we're working it out.

00:07:21Because as somebody who exists in different spaces,

00:07:24there are things that I feel very comfortable to do

00:07:27if I'm in London.

00:07:28There are things that I feel very comfortable to do

00:07:30if I live in somewhere else.

00:07:32And then there are things I know,

00:07:34if I'm not careful where I live in and where I'm from,

00:07:38if I, you know, for instance,

00:07:41my grandmother, you know, she, when I was younger,

00:07:44she'd be like, you know, paint money and some other things.

00:07:45So she loved the red thing.

00:07:47And I started painting my thumb.

00:07:49Just my thumb.

00:07:50And I painted the other thumb, right?

00:07:51Cool.

00:07:52So I said, I'm a two thumbs red.

00:07:53And I used to observe how uncomfortable

00:07:55this would make certain men in certain spaces, right?

00:07:58I went to buy some socks before I was leaving

00:08:00to go London this last time here, right?

00:08:03I just see a thing of socks in a store in Westmore.

00:08:05I pick it up and cry, man.

00:08:06And I was like, that's a woman's socks, you know?

00:08:09So I'm watching the socks.

00:08:11I know my size of my foot.

00:08:13This could fit me.

00:08:14I don't understand what he's doing.

00:08:14And he was making this big point of, you know,

00:08:16are you aware that this female socks?

00:08:19And I said, well, it could fit me.

00:08:20He's like, yeah, but it's women's socks.

00:08:21I said, well, me and him had like a whole two minutes

00:08:23discussion about women's socks.

00:08:26You understand?

00:08:26So I feel like there's this line, you know?

00:08:31There's this line.

00:08:31And it doesn't allow us many times

00:08:33to achieve our full capacity.

00:08:35What it also does is when men have children,

00:08:38they also want to prepare them for those responsibilities

00:08:40because our father doesn't want his son

00:08:42to not become a man.

00:08:43And my father was a real loving, loving man, right?

00:08:46And growing up, my father used to kiss me all the time,

00:08:49always like treated me, you know?

00:08:50But when I got to about nine, 10 years old,

00:08:53he used to tell me, you know,

00:08:54when we're in public, like, ease up on it.

00:08:57You know, the irony is sometimes the child themselves,

00:09:00now, my seven-year-old, for example,

00:09:02I have no issues with affection with my son

00:09:06in terms of hugging, you know,

00:09:08there's a lot of science behind it,

00:09:10the importance of hugging a human.

00:09:12So we don't talk about male, female,

00:09:13here we talk about the importance of hugging a human

00:09:15to have that connectivity,

00:09:17whether it be a partner, whether it be a child,

00:09:19whether it be a friend,

00:09:20there's a lot in there with regards to hugging.

00:09:22And I, you know, I used to,

00:09:25I used to, I kissed my son,

00:09:27but my father was a Royal Air Force man,

00:09:30so there was a lot of,

00:09:31it was shake hand, you know,

00:09:33that type of thing.

00:09:34So, I mean, I grew up,

00:09:34that's his, you know,

00:09:36those were our shows of affection,

00:09:38and it was okay,

00:09:40but I don't mind kissing up my son

00:09:42and saying, you know, I love you,

00:09:43but I didn't realize when I dropped him to swimming

00:09:46or to tennis or karate or, you know,

00:09:48I realized that he wanted to put on his book,

00:09:50bargains on from the car,

00:09:51and then we're walking out

00:09:53and he's walking ahead of me,

00:09:54and I'm like, son, what's going on here?

00:09:57And he's seven.

00:09:58So he, you know, the roles are reversed.

00:10:01But I just wanted to ask you,

00:10:03Lou, Mohamed, Yohan,

00:10:04say, you know,

00:10:05you brought up that, you know,

00:10:09that people, bars, casinos, et cetera,

00:10:12but we see a lot of memes,

00:10:14and you know, they say,

00:10:15not everything is a joke yet,

00:10:16so we make things into a joke.

00:10:18And you see all of these memes

00:10:19where a man sits down,

00:10:23you know, you come home after your responsibility

00:10:25or your responsibilities,

00:10:27you know, you're going out,

00:10:28whether it be the breadwinner,

00:10:29you've had a hard day,

00:10:30and as you reach home,

00:10:31you decide to sit down

00:10:32and God forbid you flick on that TV,

00:10:36you know,

00:10:36and the woman might be there.

00:10:37Nobody's saying she has not had a hard day herself,

00:10:40but she's looking at you now

00:10:41and sometimes almost disgust,

00:10:43like, hey, they are rubbish to take out.

00:10:45You know, they have the boy to put to bed

00:10:47or the children to put to bed

00:10:49or they want to see you doing something.

00:10:52They're uncomfortable almost

00:10:54with seeing you relaxed.

00:10:57You know, and I've seen everybody smiling.

00:10:58No, no, we've contributed to that.

00:11:01And it's a cyclic thing.

00:11:06I know I often have this conversation with Muhammad.

00:11:11It takes a lot of courage from men

00:11:13to display to their people,

00:11:19our parents,

00:11:20our brethren,

00:11:21but also our platonic woman friend.

00:11:24And I think a lot needs to happen

00:11:26in our platonic inter-gender relationships,

00:11:30apart from our romantic relationships.

00:11:33So let me ask you to pause there just a minute.

00:11:34So you believe that men can have female friends?

00:11:38And be platonic or without wanting?

00:11:42I actually think it's a sign of emotional health

00:11:44to be able to have platonic friendships.

00:11:49I think the ability to do that

00:11:52indicates how emotionally healthy you are.

00:11:57And I'm not trying to negotiate anybody's boundaries

00:12:00because you're at where you're at

00:12:02at that point in life.

00:12:03But I do believe having relationships

00:12:06just as a human experience,

00:12:09and it doesn't have to be sexual.

00:12:12It could be platonic, Socratic.

00:12:14I think those kinds of relationships are important.

00:12:18But we men skimp

00:12:21on how much of ourselves we display to people.

00:12:25So when women have expectations from us,

00:12:29they're only going based on the data they've received.

00:12:33So they think that a productive man is a good man,

00:12:38a man who always finds something to do.

00:12:41And what modern women are finding out

00:12:43is that men are becoming more and more emotionally bereft.

00:12:48Okay, you have a job, I have a job.

00:12:51I could pay rent, you could pay the rent.

00:12:54The child going to school,

00:12:55I could buy books, you could pay the tuition.

00:12:58There's no need now

00:12:59for a single breadwinner anymore.

00:13:04So now we have more,

00:13:06or we should have more resources,

00:13:09not just financially,

00:13:10but emotionally and spiritually,

00:13:12and the time to be able to forge something.

00:13:16And with that expectation for,

00:13:18well, what more can we do?

00:13:21Women are saying that they realize that

00:13:23there's a deficit in how deep men can go with them

00:13:27in intimacy and in partnership.

00:13:29And that's because on a real fundamental level,

00:13:35I mean, you can't plug something into a wall

00:13:38if you do have a socket there.

00:13:39And if men are feeling like relationships

00:13:42don't have space for the rest of them,

00:13:47only my utility is the currency here,

00:13:49then you asking more of me.

00:13:51I don't know what you're asking of me.

00:13:54Are you asking of me

00:13:55to tell you

00:13:57my most crazy aspirations

00:14:00that I fear to give voice to

00:14:01because it's unreal and believable?

00:14:04Are you asking me to tell you

00:14:06I'm actually scared of going bald?

00:14:09And you're saying,

00:14:10that's what you're studying, mom?

00:14:12Vulnerability.

00:14:14So that's what I mean.

00:14:16Women now are saying

00:14:16men are emotionally bereft.

00:14:18He wasn't here before,

00:14:20but you see how thematic it is, right?

00:14:22Yeah.

00:14:22And I was telling Robert recently

00:14:25that maybe since January, February,

00:14:28I've had an influx of male clientele.

00:14:31Right now, I think

00:14:32even the statistics,

00:14:34why I think I have more male clients

00:14:36actually than female clients currently.

00:14:38And all the men say the same thing

00:14:40from the 16-year-old boy

00:14:43to the two weeks ago

00:14:44I had a 73-year-old man.

00:14:47And it's the same thing.

00:14:48What more you want from me?

00:14:50Right?

00:14:51Talking about male-female dynamic relationships.

00:14:53I think a lot of us,

00:14:55again, because we're not coming in

00:14:57at the beginning of this cycle,

00:14:58but we're at whatever point

00:15:00in several cycles,

00:15:01I think a lot of us

00:15:02set ourselves up for it as well

00:15:03because we enter into the relationship

00:15:05showing this woman,

00:15:07and I can handle you.

00:15:09Nah, nah, nah.

00:15:11You understand?

00:15:11At every...

00:15:13And I have thankfully had women

00:15:15in my life at different points

00:15:16check me and just go,

00:15:18no, but I could do that, you know.

00:15:20You know.

00:15:21No, let me do that.

00:15:22Mm-hmm.

00:15:22And me having now to pay back

00:15:25a little bit and go,

00:15:26oh-ho,

00:15:27I runnin' on a quiz of code in here.

00:15:30Why are you feeling that type of way

00:15:31if she opened the door for me, boy?

00:15:33I went to...

00:15:34I recently went out

00:15:35and when I went to the bathroom,

00:15:36the person paid the bill

00:15:37and it was a somewhat sizable bill

00:15:39because I had asked them

00:15:40to go to this place

00:15:41and they paid the bill

00:15:42and, you know,

00:15:44that's not gonna disrupt me.

00:15:45Like, it's not gonna short-circuit me.

00:15:47But at the same time,

00:15:49it's exactly what Lou's saying.

00:15:51There's a parity now

00:15:52in terms of resources, right?

00:15:53So, I don't have to go out there

00:15:55and look for it.

00:15:56And many times,

00:15:56I meet women

00:15:57and they're making way more money

00:15:58than me.

00:15:59Mm-hmm.

00:16:00So, what we bring in...

00:16:01So, is that very tenuous question

00:16:04that we do like to ask

00:16:05that I find is so misunderstood

00:16:06of we're bringing to the table now, boy?

00:16:09Because if it is that

00:16:11we're not actually talking

00:16:12about resources, right?

00:16:13So, we're not talking about

00:16:14chicken and grapes and rice

00:16:17and wherever it is, right?

00:16:18It's not that.

00:16:19We could both bring them things

00:16:20to the table.

00:16:21So, it's no longer about

00:16:22resources bringing to the table.

00:16:24Yeah.

00:16:24It is who is now seated at the table

00:16:26and what are we talking about?

00:16:28What are we dealing with?

00:16:29Who are you

00:16:30and what have you brought

00:16:31to the table?

00:16:31And if the discussion,

00:16:33because the man set himself up

00:16:35from the very beginning,

00:16:36well, I laid the table.

00:16:38Well, I could have laid the table.

00:16:40But also, life has conditioned him

00:16:42from boyhood

00:16:43to only view himself

00:16:45as being useful to the tribe

00:16:47as his strength would allow him to.

00:16:49Right.

00:16:50So, by the time he get to some

00:16:51place of self-awareness,

00:16:54unless he have other men

00:16:56who are thinking like that

00:16:57and a mother who

00:16:59can see him

00:16:59more than being

00:17:01the strong help

00:17:02substitute to the father.

00:17:04Yeah.

00:17:04He don't have much references

00:17:05for who his emotional self is.

00:17:07And then the emotional type

00:17:09that we see growing up

00:17:10so much is

00:17:10you have the mother

00:17:11who does over-talk

00:17:12and nag everybody.

00:17:13These are the stereotypes.

00:17:14And then you have the father

00:17:15who is just, you know,

00:17:16this very stoic figure.

00:17:17He don't very see,

00:17:18he don't say very much

00:17:18but when he talk,

00:17:19everybody thing.

00:17:21But this man

00:17:22is probably sitting there.

00:17:23These men and them,

00:17:24our grandfathers

00:17:25and their fathers

00:17:26are sitting down there

00:17:27with a lot to say.

00:17:28A lot to, you know,

00:17:29and for the most part

00:17:30they might channel

00:17:31what they had to say

00:17:31through the wife

00:17:32and then she will submit it

00:17:33to the family

00:17:3320 times or whatever

00:17:34and the wife will look

00:17:35like the bad one

00:17:36or whatever.

00:17:37It's the same stories

00:17:37our grandmothers give us

00:17:38all the time.

00:17:39And talk to your son.

00:17:40Yeah.

00:17:40So, we need to take a break

00:17:44but, you know,

00:17:46when we come back,

00:17:48you know,

00:17:48I want to bring up,

00:17:49you know,

00:17:49a conversation

00:17:49that was had

00:17:50in a boys chat

00:17:51that I had

00:17:52of people who are

00:17:52family men,

00:17:53some are single

00:17:54but people who are

00:17:55generally very open-minded

00:17:57about a lot of things.

00:17:58And one question

00:17:59came up about,

00:18:00you know,

00:18:01do you expect your wife

00:18:02to bring you

00:18:02a plate of food?

00:18:03And it sparked

00:18:04a whole conversation

00:18:06around certain things

00:18:07and you as well,

00:18:08Lou,

00:18:08had mentioned to me

00:18:09about in the analogy

00:18:11of responsibilities

00:18:12doesn't define manhood.

00:18:15We brought up

00:18:16there's peanuts

00:18:17and there's peanut butter.

00:18:19You know,

00:18:20there's,

00:18:20what's the other one?

00:18:21There's cheese

00:18:21and there's cheese paste.

00:18:22There's cheese

00:18:22and there's cheese paste.

00:18:24So, we're going to

00:18:24take a short break

00:18:25and when we come back,

00:18:26we speak more about

00:18:27responsibilities

00:18:28does not define manhood.

00:18:30Whether you agree

00:18:31or disagree.

00:18:39Welcome back to manhood

00:18:45and we are discussing

00:18:46responsibilities

00:18:48does not make manhood

00:18:50or manhood

00:18:51is not made up

00:18:52of responsibilities alone.

00:18:55And Mohamed,

00:18:56you is coming in

00:18:56hot on the

00:18:57plate of food topic

00:18:58there, boy.

00:18:59Hot plate of food.

00:19:01Anyhow.

00:19:03Yeah, boy.

00:19:05I don't understand

00:19:06when I hear these things

00:19:07why oftentimes

00:19:08why there are debates

00:19:09because I believe in love

00:19:11and I have nobody

00:19:12that don't like

00:19:13a plate of food

00:19:14brought to them.

00:19:14Now,

00:19:15if you are a man

00:19:16and you are in a relationship

00:19:17and you are not willing

00:19:18to reciprocate that behavior,

00:19:20you don't think

00:19:21that that's your responsibility

00:19:22to do that

00:19:23and you define

00:19:24your manhood

00:19:25or your position

00:19:26in the relationship

00:19:26by the fact

00:19:27that when you reach

00:19:28your man,

00:19:28you sit down,

00:19:29your man is bringing

00:19:30you a plate of food

00:19:30and that makes you

00:19:31feel a type of way.

00:19:33One of the things

00:19:33I have had to learn

00:19:34over and over

00:19:35over the years

00:19:36is that

00:19:36the way that I feel

00:19:38about something,

00:19:40a woman will have

00:19:40the same experience

00:19:41and feel the same thing

00:19:42and will want

00:19:43the same things.

00:19:44A lot of times

00:19:45we've been grown

00:19:46and raised

00:19:47to look at women

00:19:47almost as alien species.

00:19:49Like,

00:19:49if this is done to me,

00:19:51I will feel this way.

00:19:52But if this is done to her,

00:19:54I don't expect her

00:19:55to feel the same way.

00:19:56Good and bad.

00:19:57Do so though like so.

00:19:58And, you know,

00:20:00and all the different parts

00:20:01of that.

00:20:02I like,

00:20:05I love

00:20:06to be in a position

00:20:07where somebody

00:20:08invites you over

00:20:09and they cook

00:20:09and they bring you

00:20:10a plate of food

00:20:11or you come from somewhere

00:20:12and you're tired

00:20:12and in some way

00:20:13that you love

00:20:13bring a plate of food

00:20:14for you.

00:20:15I think a lot of men

00:20:16when they get into

00:20:16the argument

00:20:17just don't realize

00:20:17that you can provide

00:20:20that or you are

00:20:21supposed to provide

00:20:22that as well

00:20:23for your partner

00:20:23in whatever way.

00:20:24It might be the same thing

00:20:25but find out

00:20:26what makes that person

00:20:27feel that way.

00:20:28If you are doing that,

00:20:29you will not have

00:20:30to have a conversation

00:20:30with that person

00:20:31about bringing

00:20:32a plate of food

00:20:32for you

00:20:33because how I feel

00:20:35is you should never

00:20:36even have to have

00:20:37that as a conversation.

00:20:38It should never

00:20:39be a situation

00:20:39where you're like,

00:20:40yo, I'll tell you

00:20:41something, no, no.

00:20:42No, it should be

00:20:43that you're receiving

00:20:44that out of a deep

00:20:45sense of love

00:20:46and because that person

00:20:47knows they are safe

00:20:48and that things

00:20:49are reciprocated

00:20:50in this relationship.

00:20:51You know what I mean?

00:20:52So, in other words,

00:20:54in your love language,

00:20:56it's...

00:20:56Why are you watching me so?

00:20:57So, when I brought

00:20:58up the plate of food, right?

00:21:00This, you know,

00:21:01they say the way

00:21:01that a man's heart

00:21:03is through his belly, right?

00:21:04I disagree because...

00:21:06So, they,

00:21:07whoever the they is,

00:21:08I know you're running

00:21:09the they, right?

00:21:09I don't have a lot

00:21:10of white opinions

00:21:10as being floating around,

00:21:11but I mean...

00:21:12I don't, you know,

00:21:13if somebody could cook

00:21:15or don't cook,

00:21:15I don't really have

00:21:16an issue with that.

00:21:17You know, it's nice

00:21:17to get a plate of food

00:21:18regardless from who it is,

00:21:19whether it's your brethren,

00:21:20whether you buy it,

00:21:21whether they bought.

00:21:22I don't have an issue,

00:21:22but if you could cook

00:21:23it's a plus for sure.

00:21:24Agreed.

00:21:25Right?

00:21:25So...

00:21:25Because I can real cook

00:21:26now.

00:21:26When I say a plate of food,

00:21:29what was...

00:21:30We talk about responsibilities

00:21:31and the expectation,

00:21:34but what was ironic to me

00:21:35and eye-opening

00:21:36is that when a brother

00:21:39asks the question,

00:21:40you know,

00:21:40if a woman should bring

00:21:42a plate of food

00:21:42or if your wife

00:21:44or partner brings,

00:21:45you know,

00:21:45a plate of food for you,

00:21:46it was the conversation

00:21:48that was sparked

00:21:49and it was almost like

00:21:50this deep cathartic

00:21:52experience that was happening

00:21:54about people saying

00:21:56what they had to say,

00:21:57but the irony is

00:21:57you got both sides.

00:22:00Right.

00:22:00So,

00:22:01for those who got the food,

00:22:03right,

00:22:04we're now,

00:22:05based on what other

00:22:05persons were saying,

00:22:06we're now almost feeling

00:22:07bad like,

00:22:08wait now,

00:22:08is it that,

00:22:10you know,

00:22:10I have this expectation,

00:22:12should I be like

00:22:12some of the other brothers

00:22:13in this group,

00:22:14really going and get

00:22:15my own food

00:22:16or preparing the food,

00:22:17et cetera,

00:22:18et cetera,

00:22:18and to those who

00:22:20didn't get it

00:22:22are now asking themselves,

00:22:24what is it,

00:22:24are you trying to tell me

00:22:25my wife or my partner

00:22:26don't love me?

00:22:28You know,

00:22:28and it was this whole

00:22:29back and forth debate

00:22:30and to me,

00:22:31as I explained this,

00:22:33I think we had this conversation

00:22:34once on our manhood,

00:22:36it's simple,

00:22:38I don't expect you to,

00:22:39I don't expect you to cook,

00:22:41I certainly don't expect you

00:22:42to bring the food for me,

00:22:44now if I'm incapacitating,

00:22:45you bring it

00:22:46and as your show of love,

00:22:47then I appreciate that

00:22:48as a show of love,

00:22:49not as an expectation

00:22:50or your responsibility

00:22:52by no means,

00:22:53like who the hell am I,

00:22:55you know,

00:22:55I am king,

00:22:57I am king,

00:22:57no, no, no, no,

00:22:58hold on,

00:22:59but I am no king,

00:23:00but I could get up,

00:23:01my feet working,

00:23:02I could get up,

00:23:03I could,

00:23:04if she is prepared

00:23:05that food,

00:23:06the least I could do

00:23:06is go and get it

00:23:07and what she wears afterwards.

00:23:08I disagree with you

00:23:09a little bit

00:23:09because I am a king

00:23:11and you're a queen.

00:23:12Right.

00:23:12I didn't say I'm a queen.

00:23:13I know,

00:23:14not you,

00:23:15but you know,

00:23:16but we get to define

00:23:18what that means

00:23:19because I want you

00:23:20to feel like a queen

00:23:21where you need to feel that way

00:23:22and I willing to give you

00:23:23where you need to feel that way

00:23:24within reason,

00:23:25right?

00:23:25If she does feel that way,

00:23:27that's part of her love language

00:23:29to do so,

00:23:30then yes,

00:23:31but it must be an expectation

00:23:33like you are supposed

00:23:34to do this.

00:23:35If that's her way

00:23:36of showing love

00:23:36and you're open to that,

00:23:38that's one thing.

00:23:39But what I'm saying to you

00:23:39is as men,

00:23:40it was a full on debate

00:23:42of people

00:23:42now feeling a particular way.

00:23:45Some of,

00:23:46am I,

00:23:46am I not

00:23:47expecting enough?

00:23:49and to those

00:23:50who expected it

00:23:51are now feeling like...

00:23:52I want to hear you.

00:23:54What you're saying here

00:23:55is really

00:23:56what I think

00:23:57men in general

00:23:58in society experience

00:23:59in where

00:24:00you don't know

00:24:00what your identity is

00:24:02because the men

00:24:03who get in it

00:24:04was one day

00:24:04they should feel bad

00:24:05for getting it

00:24:06and the men

00:24:07who are not getting it

00:24:07wondering,

00:24:08well,

00:24:08maybe I should be asking for it.

00:24:10So they don't even know

00:24:10how to define themselves

00:24:13as a man

00:24:14or what a man

00:24:14should get in it.

00:24:15Muhammad,

00:24:16you're saying that

00:24:17you shouldn't demand it.

00:24:20Tell me if I hear it right.

00:24:21You shouldn't demand

00:24:22the plate of food.

00:24:23You should have the space

00:24:24comfortable enough

00:24:25that every person,

00:24:26that expression of love

00:24:28to give it

00:24:29the plate of food,

00:24:30right?

00:24:30Absolutely.

00:24:31I understand what you're saying.

00:24:32I don't know if I disagree

00:24:33but I would add

00:24:34a different element

00:24:35to you

00:24:35because

00:24:36I'll give a premise

00:24:39and come back.

00:24:39I believe

00:24:40common sense

00:24:41does not exist

00:24:42inherently.

00:24:43Right.

00:24:43Even though we think

00:24:45we do this,

00:24:45have your sense,

00:24:46my sense,

00:24:46et cetera,

00:24:47based on how we grow up

00:24:48but when two people

00:24:49come together

00:24:50and let's use it

00:24:50as a romantic relationship,

00:24:51we come with two

00:24:52different senses

00:24:53and when we talk

00:24:54the sense becomes common.

00:24:57Right.

00:24:57So if I say

00:24:58I want you to bring

00:24:59my food,

00:25:00that's what I want

00:25:01from you.

00:25:01I'm telling you.

00:25:02Right.

00:25:02You could also say

00:25:03the same thing.

00:25:04You say,

00:25:04well,

00:25:04if I bring in your food

00:25:05then you have to

00:25:06rub my feet.

00:25:07I'll just give you an example.

00:25:09Right.

00:25:09So I think

00:25:09in the plate of food

00:25:11it's not that

00:25:11it's just

00:25:12by osmosis

00:25:14you're supposed to know

00:25:15that you bring more food.

00:25:17You should say

00:25:18you could be able

00:25:18to ask for the food

00:25:19but the person

00:25:21it has to be like

00:25:22an agreement

00:25:23between the people.

00:25:25So it's not what

00:25:26a man's supposed to do

00:25:27or a woman's supposed to do

00:25:29versus what

00:25:30you and I

00:25:31decide we want to do.

00:25:32So in the room

00:25:34because my perspective

00:25:36is slightly skewed

00:25:38by the fact that

00:25:39I grew up

00:25:40seeing my father

00:25:41God rest his soul

00:25:42sit down

00:25:44and my mother

00:25:44would bring food to him

00:25:46and

00:25:47as a son

00:25:48watching your mom

00:25:49and thinking to yourself

00:25:50that behind the scenes

00:25:51that he may not have seen

00:25:52because he's now

00:25:53coming home from work

00:25:54but I would be

00:25:54interacting with my mother

00:25:56a lot more

00:25:56would have seen and said

00:25:57well, you know what

00:25:58this woman's tired

00:25:59and seeing her come home

00:26:00after that

00:26:01and especially now

00:26:02as a father myself

00:26:03I'm thinking

00:26:03wow, my mom raised four

00:26:05you know

00:26:05and at that point

00:26:06had no car

00:26:07had to travel

00:26:08even pregnant etc

00:26:09you know

00:26:09pulling me from school

00:26:10and things like that

00:26:11so now come home

00:26:12and have to make food

00:26:13and then put it out for you

00:26:15so

00:26:16now that I'm in a position

00:26:18of course seeing that

00:26:20I vow to myself

00:26:21I would never expect

00:26:23those things from

00:26:24I want to add something there

00:26:25right

00:26:26and

00:26:27I want to set up a preface

00:26:29and come back to my answer

00:26:30I think

00:26:33when we talk about

00:26:35satisfaction

00:26:36and the ability

00:26:38to have a desire met

00:26:40there's

00:26:41there's a

00:26:42there's a

00:26:43loud silence

00:26:44there's something

00:26:45that we're not saying

00:26:46but we're saying

00:26:47and we should say it

00:26:49so that we don't leave it

00:26:50to be assumed

00:26:51there's always in the assumption

00:26:53there's always the assumption

00:26:55in the room

00:26:56that we don't want

00:26:57our comfort

00:26:59to come

00:26:59at the expense

00:27:00of oppression

00:27:01to somebody else

00:27:02I think that's important

00:27:04I don't want

00:27:06any partner of mine

00:27:07to be oppressed

00:27:08in order for my comforts

00:27:10to be met

00:27:11agreed

00:27:11but that gets lost

00:27:13in translation

00:27:14in the way

00:27:15we express our desires

00:27:16because we live

00:27:18in a very

00:27:19exploitative world

00:27:20one of the premises

00:27:22I don't understand

00:27:24how the term

00:27:25human resources

00:27:27still exists

00:27:28that is the most

00:27:30politically incorrect

00:27:31statement

00:27:32that is allowed

00:27:32to still flourish

00:27:34in corporate environments

00:27:35either somebody

00:27:36is a human

00:27:36or something

00:27:37is a resource

00:27:38you are not a resource

00:27:40you are not a resource

00:27:41I am not a resource

00:27:43I am not here

00:27:44to be exploited

00:27:46extracted

00:27:47and depleted

00:27:48to be produced

00:27:49into something else

00:27:50but that's what

00:27:51maybe in a corporate environment

00:27:53but that is what

00:27:54corporate

00:27:54that is what

00:27:55capitalism does

00:27:56so when we go

00:27:58to the world

00:27:58of work

00:27:59and we experience

00:28:01these frameworks

00:28:02and we come back

00:28:03to our relationships

00:28:03right

00:28:04and we don't do

00:28:06half as much

00:28:06relationships

00:28:07half as much

00:28:09work in our

00:28:09relationships

00:28:10to define terms

00:28:11the way we get

00:28:13handed our contract

00:28:14with scope of works

00:28:15and job descriptions

00:28:16where we are familiar

00:28:18with a certain

00:28:18vocabulary of being

00:28:20in the world

00:28:20that is highly

00:28:21exploitative

00:28:22by design

00:28:23wife and husband

00:28:24these are your rules

00:28:25do this

00:28:26do that

00:28:27even from school

00:28:27so what we all

00:28:28saying is

00:28:29this thing is

00:28:31negotiated

00:28:32I am not saying

00:28:33you are doing it

00:28:34I want the plate of food

00:28:36because you are the woman

00:28:37and I am the man

00:28:38I would like

00:28:40my desires

00:28:41to be met

00:28:42if it doesn't

00:28:43oppress you

00:28:43and if it does

00:28:45can I incentivize

00:28:47you enough

00:28:47from on my side

00:28:48that it do feel

00:28:49like oppression

00:28:49perfect

00:28:51you see what he's

00:28:52saying there

00:28:52perfect

00:28:53there's something

00:28:55I use

00:28:56in couples

00:28:59counseling

00:28:59called

00:28:59solution

00:29:00focus

00:29:01couples

00:29:01counseling

00:29:02right

00:29:02where

00:29:03something similar

00:29:04couple comes in

00:29:06they have

00:29:06conflict

00:29:07etc

00:29:07and I say

00:29:08husband

00:29:08you list

00:29:09everything

00:29:10you want

00:29:11no matter

00:29:11what

00:29:12right

00:29:12just everything

00:29:13wife you list

00:29:14every single thing

00:29:15and then let me

00:29:16start to negotiate

00:29:17let's hear what it is

00:29:18so I want

00:29:19ten hugs a day

00:29:20nah I could only

00:29:21give you five

00:29:22and I could give you

00:29:22okay are you good

00:29:23with this

00:29:23I want xyz

00:29:25and after those

00:29:26kind of conversations

00:29:27the relationship

00:29:29is changed

00:29:29even I remember

00:29:30there were some

00:29:31revelations

00:29:32the wife would say

00:29:33why I didn't say

00:29:34that all the time

00:29:35husband

00:29:35I didn't think

00:29:36anything

00:29:36and a lot

00:29:37of things

00:29:38came out

00:29:39of that

00:29:39just by having

00:29:40that conversation

00:29:41of not

00:29:42it's not

00:29:43what a man

00:29:43does do

00:29:44or a woman

00:29:44does do

00:29:45versus

00:29:45I telling you

00:29:46what you

00:29:47I want

00:29:48you tell me

00:29:48what you want

00:29:49and then let me

00:29:49find out

00:29:50let me ask you all

00:29:51something

00:29:51just for clarity

00:29:53sorry Mohammed

00:29:54just for clarity

00:29:55in that circumstance

00:29:56so

00:29:57if

00:29:58and we may

00:29:59I'm not in any way

00:30:01being facetious

00:30:01I'm really asking

00:30:02just in a

00:30:03in a circumstance

00:30:05that might be

00:30:06a little bit

00:30:06exaggerated

00:30:07that

00:30:08if

00:30:09your

00:30:10you

00:30:10in

00:30:12your way of

00:30:13communicating

00:30:13with your woman

00:30:14is to

00:30:15to cuss

00:30:16and speak to

00:30:17in a particular

00:30:18way

00:30:18but she understands

00:30:19that that's you

00:30:20and is okay

00:30:20with that

00:30:21she doesn't

00:30:21take offense

00:30:21to that

00:30:22because she

00:30:22focuses on

00:30:23something else

00:30:23so she doesn't

00:30:24in any way

00:30:25see that as a

00:30:26form of disrespect

00:30:27it might be

00:30:28upbringing

00:30:29it might be

00:30:29just generally

00:30:30she just knows

00:30:31who you are

00:30:31does that make it right

00:30:33does that make it right

00:30:35because

00:30:35the person

00:30:36receiving it

00:30:37is okay

00:30:38with it

00:30:38that the behavior

00:30:39is right

00:30:41my

00:30:43my

00:30:44the question

00:30:45I would ask is

00:30:46is there

00:30:47hurt being suffered

00:30:48yeah

00:30:49what to say

00:30:49context

00:30:50is there damage

00:30:51being done

00:30:52yeah

00:30:52and if

00:30:53to some extent

00:30:54she's unaware

00:30:55that she's actually

00:30:57going through

00:30:57some emotional

00:30:58mutilation

00:31:00to make sure

00:31:01that that's all

00:31:02okay

00:31:02then that's wrong

00:31:03but if

00:31:04and as unlikely

00:31:06as it is

00:31:07they have a

00:31:09common sense

00:31:10where

00:31:12you say

00:31:13I mean

00:31:14obviously

00:31:15can't cuss on the

00:31:16phone

00:31:16on the show

00:31:17but

00:31:17you could cuss

00:31:19on the show

00:31:19come on

00:31:21you should have

00:31:22said that

00:31:22yeah

00:31:23yeah

00:31:24so if he

00:31:26say

00:31:26I have to be

00:31:27the jackass

00:31:28in here

00:31:28but it

00:31:29is understood

00:31:31that

00:31:31okay

00:31:32this is his

00:31:33comedic release

00:31:35with me

00:31:35and he's safe

00:31:36enough to do

00:31:37that

00:31:37or vice versa

00:31:39and that

00:31:40does be my

00:31:40test

00:31:41can this

00:31:42thing work

00:31:42vice versa

00:31:43if not

00:31:44then it

00:31:45have the

00:31:46potential

00:31:46to be

00:31:47oppressive

00:31:48so Mohammed

00:31:49I'd cut you

00:31:50off there

00:31:50you know

00:31:51I was just

00:31:51saying too

00:31:51that this

00:31:52is why

00:31:52vulnerability

00:31:53is important

00:31:53and being

00:31:55able to

00:31:55feel safe

00:31:56to feel

00:31:56vulnerable

00:31:57because there

00:31:58are things

00:31:58that you

00:31:59need

00:31:59that you

00:32:00wouldn't even

00:32:01know how

00:32:01to begin

00:32:01to express

00:32:02until you

00:32:03start having

00:32:03certain

00:32:03conversations

00:32:04but I

00:32:05can tell

00:32:05you as

00:32:05a man

00:32:06and you

00:32:07know

00:32:07as a

00:32:07human

00:32:07being

00:32:07on this

00:32:08planet

00:32:08there are

00:32:09times

00:32:09you sit

00:32:09down

00:32:09and you

00:32:10have a

00:32:10thought

00:32:10right

00:32:11and there's

00:32:11somebody

00:32:12that might

00:32:12be very

00:32:12close to

00:32:13you

00:32:13could be

00:32:13a father

00:32:13could be

00:32:14a mother

00:32:14could be

00:32:14and you

00:32:15want to

00:32:16say something

00:32:16to them

00:32:17but that

00:32:18part of

00:32:18you is

00:32:18weighing

00:32:19that thing

00:32:19in your

00:32:20head

00:32:20and you

00:32:20sitting

00:32:20down

00:32:21there

00:32:21the longer

00:32:22you think

00:32:23about it

00:32:23is the

00:32:23more

00:32:24difficult

00:32:24it is

00:32:24to say

00:32:25it

00:32:25and then

00:32:26you put

00:32:26it aside

00:32:26and you

00:32:27wait for

00:32:27another

00:32:27time

00:32:27but if

00:32:28you're in

00:32:28a space

00:32:29where you

00:32:29feel that

00:32:30you're

00:32:30comfortable

00:32:30now you

00:32:30can actually

00:32:31let that

00:32:31person know

00:32:32who you

00:32:32are

00:32:33but also

00:32:34in having

00:32:35those

00:32:35conversations

00:32:36you can

00:32:36also realize

00:32:37that the

00:32:37things you've

00:32:38been holding

00:32:38on to

00:32:39and defining

00:32:39yourself

00:32:40by

00:32:40actually

00:32:40that's

00:32:41not

00:32:41really

00:32:41who you

00:32:41are

00:32:41you

00:32:42think

00:32:42you want

00:32:43that

00:32:43right

00:32:44because you

00:32:44see your

00:32:45father get

00:32:45or because

00:32:45you see

00:32:46your mother

00:32:46did it

00:32:47for

00:32:47somebody

00:32:47whatever

00:32:47but then

00:32:49as you

00:32:49and this

00:32:49person

00:32:49begin to

00:32:50have

00:32:50these

00:32:50discussions

00:32:51you realize

00:32:51oh you

00:32:52don't really

00:32:52like that

00:32:55this happened

00:32:57to you

00:32:57and that

00:32:57happened

00:32:57to you

00:32:58and that's

00:32:58why you

00:32:58are custom

00:32:59being treated

00:32:59that way

00:33:00so you

00:33:00associate

00:33:01this

00:33:01behavior

00:33:01with safety

00:33:02oh okay

00:33:02well that's

00:33:03not safe

00:33:04behavior

00:33:04but what if

00:33:05this happened

00:33:06oh wait

00:33:06I actually

00:33:07like that

00:33:07nobody

00:33:08never did

00:33:08that for

00:33:08me before

00:33:08because how

00:33:09do you

00:33:10know if

00:33:10you like

00:33:10or dislike

00:33:11something

00:33:11if somebody

00:33:12never did

00:33:12it for

00:33:12you

00:33:12you know

00:33:13but

00:33:13so there's

00:33:15a book

00:33:15holy

00:33:16algebra

00:33:17of wealth

00:33:17and the

00:33:17algebra

00:33:18of happiness

00:33:19and you

00:33:20know in

00:33:20any context

00:33:21of those

00:33:22books

00:33:23just to touch

00:33:24on what

00:33:24you're saying

00:33:25there

00:33:25it speaks

00:33:27about

00:33:28you know

00:33:29that during

00:33:30some of

00:33:30these emotional

00:33:31swings

00:33:31or these

00:33:32moments

00:33:32that we

00:33:33go through

00:33:33as humans

00:33:34right

00:33:34the best

00:33:35decisions

00:33:36aren't made

00:33:36during that

00:33:37period

00:33:37because at

00:33:38that point

00:33:39you're making

00:33:40a decision

00:33:41out of

00:33:41survivability

00:33:42you're trying

00:33:43to survive

00:33:43the moment

00:33:44you're trying

00:33:44to survive

00:33:45the situation

00:33:45don't go

00:33:46to the

00:33:46grocery

00:33:46hungry

00:33:46correct

00:33:47so like

00:33:48you're saying

00:33:49you know

00:33:49it's

00:33:49at that

00:33:50point

00:33:51that

00:33:52it's almost

00:33:53like revisiting

00:33:54you know

00:33:54when you send

00:33:55a letter

00:33:55like you pen

00:33:56a letter

00:33:56and you're

00:33:56really angry

00:33:57on email

00:33:57to wait

00:33:5824 hours

00:33:59or 48

00:33:59hours

00:34:00come back

00:34:00and read

00:34:01it

00:34:01and then

00:34:01really decide

00:34:02when you're

00:34:02a lot calmer

00:34:03do I not

00:34:04want to send

00:34:04this out

00:34:05a lot of

00:34:05times you'd

00:34:06find you either

00:34:06change your

00:34:07wording

00:34:07or you no

00:34:08longer want

00:34:08to say it

00:34:09you know

00:34:09they say

00:34:10if it's not

00:34:11going to matter

00:34:11in five years

00:34:12don't give it

00:34:13five minutes

00:34:13you know

00:34:15that

00:34:15I don't know

00:34:16if it was

00:34:16along those

00:34:17lines that you

00:34:17were

00:34:18yeah

00:34:19just

00:34:20being able

00:34:22to

00:34:22because a lot

00:34:23of times

00:34:23we want

00:34:24the space

00:34:25to express

00:34:25ourselves

00:34:26and to tell

00:34:26people who

00:34:27we are

00:34:27and we have

00:34:27all this

00:34:28fervor

00:34:28and this

00:34:29verve

00:34:29and this

00:34:29who I am

00:34:30and I want

00:34:30to tell you

00:34:30and I want

00:34:31to whatever

00:34:31and that's

00:34:32been one big

00:34:33thing with our

00:34:33relationship

00:34:33I am that

00:34:35person

00:34:35I have something

00:34:37to say

00:34:37and I want

00:34:37to say it

00:34:38and whatever

00:34:38I mightn't

00:34:39be mad

00:34:39or vexed

00:34:40but I will

00:34:41save us

00:34:41at the level

00:34:42of passion

00:34:42and that passion

00:34:44could be

00:34:44misconstrued

00:34:44and many times

00:34:45you know

00:34:46things have

00:34:46happened

00:34:47and I want

00:34:47to put out

00:34:48a statement

00:34:48I want

00:34:48to say

00:34:49something

00:34:49I send

00:34:49it to him

00:34:49first

00:34:50and you know

00:34:52he go make

00:34:52me wait

00:34:52like a good

00:34:53half an hour

00:34:53to an hour

00:34:54in which time

00:34:55I am done

00:34:55and then he go

00:34:56say right

00:34:57so I know

00:34:58you're right

00:34:58and this

00:34:59that

00:34:59whatever

00:34:59I just

00:35:00think about

00:35:01it

00:35:01in this

00:35:01way

00:35:01whatever

00:35:01I ain't

00:35:02telling you

00:35:02to change

00:35:02it

00:35:02but if you

00:35:03said it

00:35:04this way

00:35:04it might

00:35:04have a wider

00:35:05reach

00:35:05it might

00:35:05have a

00:35:05you know

00:35:06but that's

00:35:07a very vulnerable

00:35:08position

00:35:08I'm angry

00:35:10I'm in a

00:35:11certain state

00:35:11I want to be

00:35:12able to say

00:35:12but we discover

00:35:14in the same way

00:35:15that the sense

00:35:15becomes common

00:35:16the self

00:35:17becomes

00:35:17not common

00:35:18but it's a

00:35:19discovery of self

00:35:20through the other

00:35:21person as well

00:35:21because we really

00:35:22do come in

00:35:22with all of these

00:35:24things that have

00:35:24been protecting

00:35:25us all this time

00:35:26and then you walk

00:35:27in with a big

00:35:28spear

00:35:29and a staff

00:35:30and a lion

00:35:31and 40 dogs

00:35:32and whatever

00:35:32and you walk

00:35:33into this space

00:35:33and it's like

00:35:34this is who I am

00:35:35and all the lion

00:35:36and everything

00:35:36sit down there

00:35:37and you there

00:35:37you know

00:35:37and the person

00:35:38says

00:35:38sure

00:35:40that's who you are

00:35:41that's who you are

00:35:42on the battlefield

00:35:42because there's not

00:35:43a battlefield

00:35:44you know

00:35:44you could

00:35:44send them out

00:35:46and you say

00:35:47I take off

00:35:47all your armor now

00:35:48and you realize

00:35:48oh I don't

00:35:49weigh 600 pounds

00:35:50I'm not actually

00:35:52a lion

00:35:52alright

00:35:53I do

00:35:53I need a staff

00:35:54and you take off

00:35:56all that now

00:35:56do you want

00:35:57a plate of food

00:35:57but there's

00:35:59something I wanted

00:36:00to add

00:36:00that I believe

00:36:01is the greatest

00:36:02danger

00:36:03in men

00:36:04defining themselves

00:36:05through

00:36:06responsibilities

00:36:07we achieve

00:36:09exactly the

00:36:11opposite

00:36:11of what we

00:36:12actually want

00:36:13in the relationship

00:36:14which is to have

00:36:16a very transactional

00:36:17relationship

00:36:18and we do

00:36:19always realize

00:36:20that that's what

00:36:20we do

00:36:21until we get

00:36:22older

00:36:23and we become

00:36:25really resentful

00:36:26with ourselves

00:36:27when age

00:36:28starts stepping in

00:36:29and you can't

00:36:30do what you

00:36:30used to do

00:36:31when you have

00:36:32emptiness

00:36:33syndrome

00:36:33when the kids

00:36:34are now grown

00:36:35and you can't

00:36:36hide behind

00:36:37well I had to

00:36:37do this

00:36:37to send the

00:36:38children to

00:36:38school

00:36:39all of those

00:36:40responsibilities

00:36:41have now

00:36:43matured

00:36:43and who are you

00:36:45now

00:36:45what are you

00:36:46to this

00:36:47person

00:36:47now

00:36:48I agree

00:36:49with you

00:36:49but we have

00:36:50a responsibility

00:36:51to go to the

00:36:52break

00:36:52but just before

00:36:54that

00:36:54because I

00:36:54really want

00:36:56I'm not defined

00:36:57by this break

00:36:57I'm not defined

00:36:58by this break

00:36:58I do

00:37:03but this

00:37:05is an important

00:37:06one

00:37:07because

00:37:09I want to

00:37:11move

00:37:11I want to

00:37:12go with the

00:37:12momentum

00:37:12and you

00:37:13mentioned

00:37:14something

00:37:14about

00:37:15that

00:37:16and it's

00:37:17something

00:37:17that a lot

00:37:18of brothers

00:37:18that I know

00:37:19suffer with

00:37:19and are

00:37:20concerned about

00:37:21because when

00:37:22you have

00:37:22children

00:37:23and say

00:37:23for example

00:37:24your partner

00:37:25is one thing

00:37:26but specifically

00:37:27with children

00:37:27you are saying

00:37:29to yourself

00:37:29that you're

00:37:29working

00:37:30you're giving

00:37:30everything

00:37:31to give them

00:37:31a better life

00:37:32right

00:37:33now

00:37:34when

00:37:35when they're

00:37:35older

00:37:36you've lost

00:37:38that moment

00:37:38and you see

00:37:39these memes

00:37:39all the time

00:37:40about the

00:37:40different ages

00:37:41and you're like

00:37:41you're on your

00:37:42phone

00:37:42you're on your

00:37:43laptop

00:37:43you're working

00:37:44you're working

00:37:44now what

00:37:46happens

00:37:47in a situation

00:37:48where

00:37:48you're

00:37:49you might

00:37:49have the

00:37:50luxury

00:37:50it might

00:37:51be like

00:37:51you know

00:37:51you're a

00:37:52footballer

00:37:52or an

00:37:52artist

00:37:53or something

00:37:53you're making

00:37:53money

00:37:54and you

00:37:54actually have

00:37:55the time

00:37:55to spend

00:37:56and you

00:37:56choose not

00:37:57to spend

00:37:58but what

00:37:58about the

00:37:59person who

00:37:59has to

00:37:59work two

00:38:00three jobs

00:38:01and what

00:38:02about the

00:38:02person who

00:38:02has no

00:38:03choice but

00:38:03to work

00:38:04that time

00:38:04just to be

00:38:05able to put

00:38:05food on

00:38:05the table

00:38:06and you've

00:38:07lost

00:38:07as a result

00:38:09you simply

00:38:10don't have

00:38:10that connection

00:38:11you think

00:38:11that men

00:38:12don't fight

00:38:13with that

00:38:13on a regular

00:38:14basis

00:38:14I think

00:38:15I think

00:38:15we actually

00:38:16do

00:38:16I think

00:38:17we actually

00:38:18do

00:38:18a lot

00:38:19of times

00:38:19we're the

00:38:20architects

00:38:20of our

00:38:21own

00:38:21demise

00:38:22and it

00:38:22could be

00:38:23because of

00:38:23the programming

00:38:23because

00:38:24what he's

00:38:25saying

00:38:25have to

00:38:26I remember

00:38:26doing a

00:38:27stress management

00:38:29workshop

00:38:29and people

00:38:30saying all the

00:38:31things they

00:38:31have to do

00:38:31and I was

00:38:32asking but

00:38:32nobody tell you

00:38:34buy a house

00:38:34this size

00:38:35nobody tell you

00:38:36make this

00:38:37amongst

00:38:37the children

00:38:37nobody tell you

00:38:39take a key

00:38:39with floor

00:38:40whoever it is

00:38:41nobody tell you

00:38:42to me

00:38:46it's even

00:38:46deeper than

00:38:47don't hang

00:38:48your hat

00:38:48higher than

00:38:48you can

00:38:48reach

00:38:49but it's

00:38:51difficult

00:38:51because we

00:38:51are talking

00:38:52about this

00:38:52deprogramming

00:38:53yourself

00:38:53right

00:38:53like

00:38:54the more

00:38:55that we

00:38:56earn

00:38:57the more

00:38:57that we

00:38:57move

00:38:58the more

00:38:58you realize

00:38:59your hands

00:39:00could reach

00:39:00further

00:39:01so you're

00:39:01pulling in

00:39:02more things

00:39:02I think

00:39:03you're onto

00:39:03something

00:39:03those are

00:39:05actually

00:39:05emotional

00:39:06decisions

00:39:07that need

00:39:08to be

00:39:08made

00:39:08and if

00:39:09as men

00:39:10we convince

00:39:10ourselves

00:39:11that we

00:39:11are not

00:39:11emotional

00:39:12beings

00:39:12we are

00:39:13going

00:39:13to tell

00:39:14ourselves

00:39:14that we

00:39:14are making

00:39:15pragmatic

00:39:15decisions

00:39:16and actually

00:39:17dig ourselves

00:39:18into holes

00:39:18where we

00:39:19had to be

00:39:19slaves

00:39:19yeah

00:39:20correct

00:39:20and before

00:39:21we go to

00:39:22the break

00:39:22now we can

00:39:23go to

00:39:24the break

00:39:25you have a

00:39:29responsible

00:39:30money lenders

00:39:31in trinidad

00:39:31in other

00:39:32countries too

00:39:33but money

00:39:34lenders

00:39:34not the

00:39:35organizations

00:39:36they say

00:39:38that men

00:39:39are the

00:39:39easiest

00:39:40victims

00:39:40especially

00:39:41married men

00:39:42of course

00:39:43because married

00:39:43men always

00:39:44want to do

00:39:44more than

00:39:45they really

00:39:45could

00:39:45and they

00:39:46always get

00:39:47a catch

00:39:47and I

00:39:48remember

00:39:48when he

00:39:48told me

00:39:49I was like

00:39:49wow

00:39:50I never

00:39:50really thought

00:39:51about it

00:39:51like that

00:39:52but is it

00:39:52truth

00:39:52because

00:39:53we're always

00:39:55trying to

00:39:55hang our

00:39:55hat higher

00:39:56because we

00:39:57always think

00:39:57that we

00:39:58are these

00:39:58robots

00:39:58that we

00:39:59have to

00:39:59fulfill

00:39:59these things

00:40:00no matter

00:40:00what

00:40:01because

00:40:01and you

00:40:02said it

00:40:02men

00:40:03just give

00:40:03everything

00:40:04which I

00:40:05disagree with

00:40:06you shouldn't

00:40:06give all

00:40:07of yourself

00:40:07to nothing

00:40:08right

00:40:09that's

00:40:09that's my

00:40:09opinion

00:40:10but we're

00:40:11going to

00:40:11have

00:40:11right now

00:40:12welcome back to

00:40:24manhood

00:40:25and today

00:40:25we are

00:40:26discussing

00:40:26whether or

00:40:27not

00:40:27responsibilities

00:40:28define

00:40:29manhood

00:40:30interesting

00:40:31discussion

00:40:32so far

00:40:32so I

00:40:33want to

00:40:33I want

00:40:34to jump

00:40:34in fellas

00:40:35just to

00:40:35say

00:40:36what

00:40:37what do

00:40:39you

00:40:39determine

00:40:40determine

00:40:40makes a

00:40:42man

00:40:42I want

00:40:43to answer

00:40:44that

00:40:44by

00:40:45picking up

00:40:46where he

00:40:46left off

00:40:47Johan

00:40:48said something

00:40:49really important

00:40:50about the

00:40:51money lenders

00:40:51that's actually

00:40:53true

00:40:53and I

00:40:57ended by

00:40:58saying I

00:40:59believe that

00:40:59these are

00:41:00emotional

00:41:01decisions

00:41:02that men

00:41:03tend to

00:41:04turn into

00:41:04logical

00:41:05decisions

00:41:06and we

00:41:06end up

00:41:06calculating

00:41:07things that

00:41:08we really

00:41:08shouldn't be

00:41:08calculating

00:41:09and I

00:41:11think it

00:41:12is very

00:41:13important

00:41:14for us

00:41:15to find

00:41:15men

00:41:16to find

00:41:18the emotional

00:41:18tools and

00:41:19wherewithal

00:41:20to really

00:41:21have human

00:41:22moments with

00:41:23our partners

00:41:24and say

00:41:25okay baby

00:41:26what really

00:41:27is the desire

00:41:28behind a

00:41:29bigger house

00:41:29I mean I

00:41:30could get it

00:41:31you know

00:41:31it means

00:41:32I'll have

00:41:32to work

00:41:33longer

00:41:33hours

00:41:34how much

00:41:35more life

00:41:35we have

00:41:35left

00:41:36what would

00:41:39benefit you

00:41:40more

00:41:40a bigger

00:41:42house

00:41:42or 10

00:41:43family vacations

00:41:44in the next

00:41:45six years

00:41:45if I make

00:41:46myself more

00:41:47available for

00:41:48that

00:41:48make memories

00:41:49someone so

00:41:50foreign

00:41:50I don't

00:41:51know if

00:41:52I even

00:41:52hear

00:41:53somebody

00:41:54even say

00:41:54something

00:41:55what you

00:41:55just said

00:41:55that

00:41:56consideration

00:41:57that

00:41:57thought of

00:41:59it

00:41:59so

00:42:00new territory

00:42:01that

00:42:02actually

00:42:02saved my

00:42:03relationship

00:42:03being able

00:42:05to come

00:42:06to my

00:42:06wife

00:42:07openly

00:42:08and say

00:42:08based on

00:42:10the standards

00:42:11I think

00:42:12I set in

00:42:12for myself

00:42:13I'm failing

00:42:13and I'm not

00:42:14feeling good

00:42:15about myself

00:42:16and if I'm not

00:42:17feeling good

00:42:18about myself

00:42:18in this

00:42:19relationship

00:42:19then I'm not

00:42:21feeling good

00:42:21about us

00:42:22and that was

00:42:23a real moment

00:42:24of freedom

00:42:25for her to say

00:42:26well I'm not

00:42:26asking them

00:42:27things from

00:42:27you

00:42:28where you get

00:42:29that from

00:42:29and that is

00:42:30the thief

00:42:31you know

00:42:32what you're

00:42:33saying there

00:42:33it reminded

00:42:34me of

00:42:35mistakes

00:42:35I've made

00:42:36in my

00:42:36relationships

00:42:37because

00:42:38you see

00:42:38how you're

00:42:38saying

00:42:38I didn't

00:42:39even ask

00:42:39you those

00:42:40things

00:42:40because we

00:42:41had the

00:42:41programming

00:42:41right

00:42:42becoming

00:42:43hot and sweaty

00:42:44thinking

00:42:44this this

00:42:45this

00:42:46but she

00:42:47didn't even

00:42:47ask that

00:42:48and then

00:42:48we do it

00:42:49of course

00:42:49we train

00:42:50her

00:42:50in that

00:42:51way

00:42:51so then

00:42:52when

00:42:52you can't

00:42:53make it

00:42:54because

00:42:54you set

00:42:55your heart

00:42:55higher

00:42:55than

00:42:55where

00:42:55it's

00:42:56supposed

00:42:56to be

00:42:56now

00:42:57you get

00:42:58angry

00:42:58or resentful

00:42:59and then

00:42:59I do

00:43:00all this

00:43:00for you

00:43:01I don't

00:43:03need that

00:43:04you know

00:43:04what the

00:43:04most apparent

00:43:05places with

00:43:06it is

00:43:07sexually

00:43:07we do

00:43:09it

00:43:09we do

00:43:10it all

00:43:10the time

00:43:11as men

00:43:11and you

00:43:12will hear

00:43:12it from

00:43:12women

00:43:12all the

00:43:13time

00:43:13you go

00:43:14in there

00:43:14with your

00:43:14skill set

00:43:15now boy

00:43:15because you

00:43:16skillful

00:43:16and you

00:43:16have a

00:43:17set of

00:43:17skills

00:43:17and you

00:43:18go in

00:43:18there

00:43:18whatever

00:43:19but you

00:43:19never

00:43:20once

00:43:20ask a

00:43:20question

00:43:21or observe

00:43:21a body

00:43:22or anything

00:43:22you just

00:43:23go in

00:43:23and you

00:43:23figure

00:43:24everybody

00:43:24body

00:43:25is supposed

00:43:25to react

00:43:26the same

00:43:26you know

00:43:27what I

00:43:27mean

00:43:27and any

00:43:28man

00:43:28can relate

00:43:28to that

00:43:29you know

00:43:29what I

00:43:29mean

00:43:29and we

00:43:30do it

00:43:30in every

00:43:31single

00:43:31relationship

00:43:32every

00:43:33single

00:43:33relationship

00:43:34we go

00:43:34in

00:43:34unless you

00:43:35have more

00:43:35sense

00:43:35as you

00:43:35get older

00:43:36the set

00:43:36of hands

00:43:36you know

00:43:37but yeah

00:43:38you go

00:43:38in there

00:43:38you peacock

00:43:39in the

00:43:39scene

00:43:40so to answer

00:43:40your question

00:43:41for me

00:43:41outside of all

00:43:42them

00:43:42responsibilities

00:43:43or in

00:43:44addition to

00:43:45what defines

00:43:46manhood

00:43:47for me

00:43:47is the

00:43:48ability

00:43:49to desire

00:43:50to have

00:43:51a holistic

00:43:53human

00:43:55experience

00:43:56a desire

00:43:59to have

00:44:00that

00:44:00because when

00:44:01listen

00:44:01I'm emotional

00:44:05about this

00:44:06I am a

00:44:08damn good

00:44:09looking 40

00:44:09year old

00:44:10when I was

00:44:12a boy

00:44:13I used to

00:44:14look at my

00:44:14uncles who

00:44:15was 40

00:44:15and they

00:44:15meant mash

00:44:16up

00:44:17the mash

00:44:18up

00:44:18the toenails

00:44:19not good

00:44:20the mouth

00:44:20missing teeth

00:44:21and this is

00:44:22because they've

00:44:23worked themselves

00:44:24into being

00:44:24tools

00:44:25that they're

00:44:26not good

00:44:27for themselves

00:44:28but the

00:44:29wives loved

00:44:30it

00:44:30so Lou

00:44:32you mentioned

00:44:33something just

00:44:33now on your

00:44:34hands

00:44:34and I want

00:44:35to come

00:44:35back to

00:44:35two things

00:44:36one

00:44:37you have

00:44:38that conversation

00:44:39which is a

00:44:40real manly

00:44:41and not even

00:44:42a human

00:44:42existence

00:44:43or human

00:44:44experience

00:44:44to have

00:44:45and that's

00:44:45really living

00:44:46your truth

00:44:47and really

00:44:47bonding

00:44:48and respecting

00:44:49one yourself

00:44:50and respecting

00:44:51that person

00:44:51to say I

00:44:52see you

00:44:52and I want

00:44:53you to see

00:44:53me

00:44:54but what

00:44:55happens

00:44:55in the

00:44:56case

00:44:56where she

00:44:56goes

00:44:57in one

00:44:58case

00:44:59you could

00:44:59say I

00:45:00didn't ask

00:45:01you for

00:45:01that

00:45:01but what

00:45:02happens

00:45:03in the

00:45:03instance

00:45:04where

00:45:04she says

00:45:05okay I'm

00:45:06open to

00:45:07you working

00:45:08harder for

00:45:08me to go

00:45:09and get

00:45:09that house

00:45:09and then

00:45:11you now

00:45:11resent

00:45:13no don't

00:45:13go straight

00:45:13to resentment

00:45:14don't go

00:45:15straight to

00:45:15resentment

00:45:15because we

00:45:16haven't a

00:45:17discussion

00:45:17so this

00:45:18is a very

00:45:18open

00:45:19moment

00:45:19you say

00:45:20what you

00:45:20have to

00:45:20say

00:45:20she say

00:45:21what she

00:45:22have to

00:45:22say

00:45:22if you

00:45:23go from

00:45:23there to

00:45:24resentment

00:45:24it means

00:45:25that you've

00:45:25not allowed

00:45:26her to

00:45:26see the

00:45:26process

00:45:26in your

00:45:27mind

00:45:27so

00:45:28not

00:45:28talking

00:45:29about

00:45:29later

00:45:29it can't

00:45:32be later

00:45:33it cannot

00:45:34be later

00:45:35because

00:45:35you cannot

00:45:37enter into

00:45:38a space

00:45:38of vulnerability

00:45:39say you're

00:45:40open

00:45:40the conversation

00:45:41being had

00:45:42and then you

00:45:42hit a wall

00:45:43don't be

00:45:45vulnerable

00:45:45at that

00:45:46point

00:45:46don't share

00:45:47how you

00:45:47feel

00:45:47walk away

00:45:48and then

00:45:49later you're

00:45:49feeling

00:45:49and type

00:45:50away

00:45:50no that

00:45:50is not

00:45:50how that

00:45:51works

00:45:51you bring

00:45:52something

00:45:52to the

00:45:53table

00:45:53you know

00:45:54it is

00:45:54volatile

00:45:55you know

00:45:55this could

00:45:56go any

00:45:56which way

00:45:56and she

00:45:57say

00:45:57yeah no I

00:45:58actually want

00:45:58you to work

00:45:58hard for the

00:45:59next 10

00:46:00years of your

00:46:00life and

00:46:00give me that

00:46:01so I

00:46:01could have

00:46:02this house

00:46:02now you

00:46:04have to ask

00:46:04yourself

00:46:04who am I

00:46:06and who

00:46:06am I

00:46:06with

00:46:07because

00:46:08your life

00:46:10is still

00:46:10your life

00:46:10understand what

00:46:11he's saying

00:46:12you know

00:46:12that's what

00:46:13he just

00:46:13said

00:46:13they're not

00:46:13pretty at

00:46:14all you

00:46:14know

00:46:14the desire

00:46:15to be

00:46:16open

00:46:16and to be

00:46:17a full

00:46:17human being

00:46:18that means

00:46:19that you

00:46:19could be with

00:46:21and finally

00:46:22get to a

00:46:22point where

00:46:23you feel

00:46:23you could

00:46:23have that

00:46:23conversation

00:46:24and in

00:46:24realizing

00:46:25that at

00:46:26that point

00:46:26you're like

00:46:26oh

00:46:27no I

00:46:29don't have

00:46:2910 years

00:46:30to do that

00:46:30with you

00:46:31I

00:46:31listen

00:46:32and now

00:46:33we could

00:46:33sit with

00:46:33that

00:46:34we don't

00:46:34need to

00:46:35make a

00:46:35decision

00:46:35on that

00:46:35come back

00:46:36to the

00:46:37table

00:46:37again

00:46:37like you

00:46:37say

00:46:37write the

00:46:38email

00:46:38and wait

00:46:38a day

00:46:39wait two

00:46:39days

00:46:39right

00:46:39so we

00:46:40sit

00:46:40down

00:46:40we wait

00:46:40and wait

00:46:41for a little

00:46:41bit

00:46:41and we

00:46:41come back

00:46:42again

00:46:42but if

00:46:43you want

00:46:43my life

00:46:44you want

00:46:46my whole

00:46:46life

00:46:46you want

00:46:47my health

00:46:47you want

00:46:48my strength

00:46:48you want

00:46:48my youth

00:46:49you want

00:46:49all of

00:46:50that

00:46:50to make

00:46:50you happy

00:46:51okay

00:46:52I could

00:46:53give you

00:46:53it you

00:46:54know

00:46:54but here

00:46:55what I

00:46:56gonna need

00:46:56if I

00:46:57do

00:46:57in all

00:46:57of

00:46:57that

00:46:57let me

00:46:59tell you

00:46:59something

00:46:59yeah

00:47:01but no

00:47:01it might

00:47:02be more

00:47:02than that

00:47:02yeah

00:47:03listen

00:47:04I've

00:47:05actually

00:47:05always

00:47:05wanted

00:47:06to be

00:47:06with more

00:47:06than one

00:47:07person

00:47:07and if

00:47:08I have

00:47:09to do

00:47:09all of

00:47:09this

00:47:09for you

00:47:10I'm

00:47:11going

00:47:11to need

00:47:11someone

00:47:11to support

00:47:12me

00:47:12emotionally

00:47:12and actually

00:47:14this is

00:47:15how I've

00:47:15been

00:47:15the discussion

00:47:17starts to

00:47:17get to

00:47:18levels

00:47:18now

00:47:18because

00:47:19what you're

00:47:20asking for

00:47:21and don't get

00:47:22tired

00:47:22it can go

00:47:23the next

00:47:23way too

00:47:24you know

00:47:24if you're

00:47:25being

00:47:25vulnerable

00:47:26for me

00:47:27what defines

00:47:28Amal

00:47:28is

00:47:30I need

00:47:31the people

00:47:31around me

00:47:32and myself

00:47:34to feel

00:47:35safe

00:47:35safety

00:47:36and that

00:47:37is in

00:47:38every aspect

00:47:39safe to be

00:47:40vulnerable

00:47:40safe when the

00:47:41night come

00:47:42safety

00:47:43safety for

00:47:44me is what

00:47:45I would

00:47:46never want

00:47:47anybody

00:47:47within my

00:47:48space

00:47:48to feel

00:47:49as though

00:47:49they are

00:47:50unsafe

00:47:50for any

00:47:51reason

00:47:51at all

00:47:52so the

00:47:52reason I

00:47:53ask that

00:47:54question

00:47:55specifically

00:47:55is because

00:47:56before we

00:47:58wrap

00:47:58I want you

00:47:59to have an

00:47:59understanding

00:48:00when we

00:48:00say

00:48:00responsibilities

00:48:02doesn't

00:48:02define

00:48:03manhood

00:48:03but as

00:48:05a man

00:48:05you still

00:48:06have

00:48:06responsibilities

00:48:07and you

00:48:07don't

00:48:07shoot

00:48:08those

00:48:08responsibilities

00:48:08but you

00:48:09are more

00:48:10than that

00:48:11right

00:48:12as you

00:48:12know

00:48:12as we

00:48:13said

00:48:13we're

00:48:13not

00:48:13peanut

00:48:14butter

00:48:14right

00:48:15we

00:48:15are

00:48:15we

00:48:16so

00:48:16we

00:48:16we're

00:48:16not

00:48:17peanuts

00:48:17we're

00:48:17peanut

00:48:17butter

00:48:18we have

00:48:18a lot

00:48:18of other

00:48:19things going

00:48:20for us

00:48:20and I

00:48:21want you

00:48:21to have

00:48:21that

00:48:22understanding

00:48:22of what

00:48:23you

00:48:23understood

00:48:24as a

00:48:25man

00:48:25to then

00:48:26you know

00:48:26to have

00:48:27a little

00:48:28bit

00:48:28deeper

00:48:29in that

00:48:29conversation

00:48:30to say

00:48:30within

00:48:32manhood

00:48:32that we're

00:48:33not shirking

00:48:34our

00:48:34responsibilities

00:48:35so that

00:48:35people

00:48:35because

00:48:36people

00:48:36could be

00:48:37listening

00:48:37and

00:48:37taking

00:48:38on certain

00:48:39aspects

00:48:39of the show

00:48:40and thinking

00:48:40I'm

00:48:41a man

00:48:41I do

00:48:41have a deal

00:48:43we're not

00:48:44talking about

00:48:45being an

00:48:45idiot

00:48:45you get

00:48:46older

00:48:47and as

00:48:48a human

00:48:48being

00:48:49you have

00:48:49certain

00:48:49responsibilities

00:48:50if you

00:48:51as a

00:48:51man

00:48:52enter

00:48:52into a

00:48:52space

00:48:52and you

00:48:53have

00:48:53a

00:48:53child

00:48:53you

00:48:54now

00:48:54have

00:48:54a

00:48:54responsibility

00:48:55forget

00:48:55where

00:48:56your

00:48:56life

00:48:56was

00:48:56before

00:48:57a

00:48:57child

00:48:57is

00:48:57now

00:48:58a

00:48:58part

00:48:58of

00:48:58the

00:48:58space

00:48:58however

00:48:59what

00:49:00we're

00:49:00saying

00:49:00is

00:49:00you

00:49:01cannot

00:49:01dedicate

00:49:02yourself

00:49:02so

00:49:03much

00:49:03to

00:49:03the

00:49:03upbringing

00:49:04of

00:49:04that

00:49:04child

00:49:04that

00:49:05you

00:49:05lose

00:49:06yourself

00:49:06in

00:49:06the

00:49:06process

00:49:07and

00:49:07think

00:49:08that

00:49:08you

00:49:08are

00:49:09not

00:49:09taken

00:49:10away

00:49:10from

00:49:10the

00:49:10raising

00:49:11of

00:49:11a

00:49:11child

00:49:11it's

00:49:12not

00:49:12food

00:49:12and

00:49:13lights

00:49:13and

00:49:13water

00:49:14that

00:49:14has

00:49:14raised

00:49:14a

00:49:15child

00:49:15then

00:49:15you

00:49:16need

00:49:16a

00:49:16father

00:49:16and

00:49:17for him

00:49:17to have

00:49:17a

00:49:18father

00:49:18you

00:49:18have

00:49:18to have

00:49:18a

00:49:18self

00:49:19you

00:49:20need

00:49:20to know

00:49:20who

00:49:20you

00:49:20are

00:49:21you

00:49:21have

00:49:22to

00:49:22do

00:49:22certain

00:49:22things

00:49:22you

00:49:23have

00:49:23to go

00:49:23and

00:49:23enjoy

00:49:23yourself

00:49:24you

00:49:24want

00:49:24to go

00:49:24and take

00:49:25a long walk

00:49:25in the bush

00:49:26by yourself

00:49:26whatever those

00:49:27things are

00:49:28that make

00:49:28you a full

00:49:29human

00:49:29being

00:49:30an

00:49:30expansive

00:49:31human

00:49:31because

00:49:32now you'll

00:49:32have an

00:49:33expansive

00:49:33family

00:49:33you'll have

00:49:34an

00:49:34expansive

00:49:34child

00:49:34it's

00:49:37hard

00:49:37nobody

00:49:38is

00:49:38hard

00:49:39living

00:49:40is

00:49:40hard

00:49:41truly

00:49:42living

00:49:42this is

00:49:44not

00:49:44easy

00:49:44relationships

00:49:45are

00:49:45real hard

00:49:47too

00:49:47being in

00:49:51your 80s

00:49:52and just

00:49:52lying down

00:49:53on your

00:49:53bed

00:49:54is

00:49:54miserable

00:49:55you

00:49:58understand

00:49:58I live

00:49:59my

00:49:59whole

00:49:59life

00:50:00I

00:50:00work

00:50:00for

00:50:0135

00:50:01years

00:50:02I

00:50:02support

00:50:02all

00:50:03them

00:50:03children

00:50:03and

00:50:04none

00:50:04of

00:50:04them

00:50:04can

00:50:04come

00:50:05and

00:50:05visit

00:50:05me

00:50:05on a

00:50:05Sunday

00:50:06evening

00:50:06and why

00:50:07because

00:50:07it was

00:50:07never a

00:50:08full

00:50:08human

00:50:08being

00:50:09to them

00:50:09they never

00:50:09see

00:50:09a cry

00:50:10you can

00:50:10never cry

00:50:11in your

00:50:11arms

00:50:11I had

00:50:12an

00:50:13experience

00:50:13with

00:50:13someone

00:50:14where

00:50:14we

00:50:14were

00:50:15watching

00:50:15through

00:50:15a much

00:50:16older

00:50:16person

00:50:16we were

00:50:16watching

00:50:17through

00:50:17some

00:50:17pictures

00:50:17and

00:50:18in

00:50:18one

00:50:18of

00:50:18the

00:50:18pictures

00:50:19they had

00:50:19this

00:50:19beach

00:50:19could

00:50:28this

00:50:28energy

00:50:29next

00:50:29to

00:50:29me

00:50:29of

00:50:29this

00:50:29older

00:50:30man

00:50:30and he

00:50:30was

00:50:31just

00:50:31like

00:50:31yeah

00:50:33I

00:50:33will

00:50:33never

00:50:34be

00:50:34able

00:50:34to

00:50:34do

00:50:34something

00:50:35like

00:50:35that

00:50:35again

00:50:35you know

00:50:37and me

00:50:37and this

00:50:38man

00:50:38having

00:50:38this

00:50:38discussion

00:50:39about

00:50:39exactly

00:50:40what

00:50:40Lou

00:50:40is

00:50:40talking

00:50:41about

00:50:41him

00:50:42working

00:50:42his

00:50:43whole

00:50:43life

00:50:43and

00:50:44then

00:50:44it

00:50:44got

00:50:45to

00:50:45the

00:50:45point

00:50:45where

00:50:45he

00:50:45was

00:50:46able

00:50:46to

00:50:46admit

00:50:46to

00:50:47me

00:50:47that

00:50:47there

00:50:47was

00:50:47often

00:50:47times

00:50:48a

00:50:48slight

00:50:48resentment

00:50:49for

00:50:49how

00:50:49I

00:50:49was

00:50:50able

00:50:50to

00:50:50live

00:50:50my

00:50:50life

00:50:51because

00:50:51I

00:50:52do

00:50:52what

00:50:53I

00:50:53want

00:50:53to

00:50:53do

00:50:53in a

00:50:53certain

00:50:54way

00:50:54you know

00:50:54what I

00:50:54mean

00:50:54fellas

00:50:56we

00:50:56gonna

00:50:57extend

00:50:59the

00:50:59segment

00:50:59right

00:51:00because

00:51:01in our

00:51:02responsibility

00:51:03we touching

00:51:03on something

00:51:04that you

00:51:04can't

00:51:05just

00:51:05spit out

00:51:07a line

00:51:07or two

00:51:07and then

00:51:08just

00:51:08throw it

00:51:09away

00:51:09because

00:51:09I

00:51:10guarantee

00:51:11you

00:51:11in the

00:51:11same

00:51:12way

00:51:12I

00:51:12almost

00:51:13come

00:51:13into

00:51:13tears

00:51:14that

00:51:14other

00:51:14people

00:51:15are

00:51:15listening

00:51:15to

00:51:15this

00:51:16as

00:51:16a

00:51:16moment

00:51:16because

00:51:17you

00:51:18do

00:51:18really

00:51:18you

00:51:19have

00:51:19all

00:51:19these

00:51:20other

00:51:20things

00:51:20you

00:51:20don't

00:51:20miss

00:51:20water

00:51:21till

00:51:21you

00:51:21well

00:51:21run

00:51:21dry

00:51:22people

00:51:22don't

00:51:23plan

00:51:23there's

00:51:23all

00:51:23these

00:51:23conversations

00:51:24on

00:51:25financial

00:51:25literacy

00:51:26and

00:51:27planning

00:51:27for

00:51:28that

00:51:28rainy

00:51:29day

00:51:29planning

00:51:30for

00:51:30when

00:51:30you

00:51:30are

00:51:30old

00:51:31age

00:51:31and

00:51:31that's

00:51:32why

00:51:32you

00:51:32see

00:51:32a lot

00:51:32of

00:51:32people

00:51:32have

00:51:33a lot

00:51:33of

00:51:33children

00:51:33hoping

00:51:34for

00:51:35that

00:51:35to

00:51:36happen

00:51:36in

00:51:36their

00:51:36old

00:51:36age

00:51:37and

00:51:37then

00:51:37you

00:51:37turn

00:51:37around

00:51:37like

00:51:38you

00:51:38said

00:51:38Lou

00:51:38and

00:51:39abandonment

00:51:40you

00:51:40know

00:51:40woman

00:51:41could

00:51:41leave

00:51:41at

00:51:41the

00:51:41last

00:51:42minute

00:51:42I've

00:51:42seen

00:51:43you

00:51:43know

00:51:43one

00:51:43brother

00:51:44we

00:51:44had

00:51:44on

00:51:44the

00:51:44show

00:51:44where

00:51:45you

00:51:45know

00:51:46when

00:51:46he

00:51:46found

00:51:47out

00:51:47he

00:51:47had

00:51:47cancer

00:51:48at

00:51:48that

00:51:48moment

00:51:49the

00:51:49woman

00:51:49said

00:51:49I

00:51:50can't

00:51:51handle it

00:51:51and

00:51:51gone

00:51:52right

00:51:52so

00:51:53it

00:51:53happens

00:51:54and

00:51:54for

00:51:54you

00:51:55to

00:51:55reach

00:51:5580

00:51:55when

00:51:56you

00:51:56need

00:51:57you

00:51:58know

00:51:58it

00:51:58depends

00:51:59on

00:51:59how

00:51:59you

00:51:59set

00:51:59up

00:52:00your

00:52:00life

00:52:00because

00:52:00let's

00:52:01face

00:52:01it

00:52:01you

00:52:01making

00:52:02a

00:52:02five

00:52:02ten

00:52:03thousand

00:52:03dollars

00:52:03fifteen

00:52:04thousand

00:52:04dollars

00:52:04even

00:52:05a

00:52:05month

00:52:05right

00:52:06you

00:52:06can

00:52:06be

00:52:06getting

00:52:06company

00:52:07car

00:52:07etc

00:52:07when

00:52:08you

00:52:08turn

00:52:0865

00:52:09and

00:52:10that

00:52:11is

00:52:11it

00:52:11for

00:52:11you

00:52:11and

00:52:11the

00:52:12way

00:52:12things

00:52:12are

00:52:13moving

00:52:13now

00:52:13you

00:52:13still

00:52:13have

00:52:14a

00:52:14mortgage

00:52:14to

00:52:14pay

00:52:14and

00:52:15all

00:52:15these

00:52:15other

00:52:15things

00:52:15one

00:52:16the

00:52:16company

00:52:16car

00:52:16going

00:52:16back

00:52:17two

00:52:18to

00:52:18be

00:52:18able

00:52:18to

00:52:18continue

00:52:19to

00:52:19live

00:52:19that

00:52:20lifestyle

00:52:20throughout

00:52:20you

00:52:21still

00:52:21have

00:52:21to

00:52:21be

00:52:21making

00:52:21fifteen

00:52:22or

00:52:22twenty

00:52:22thousand

00:52:23dollars

00:52:23which

00:52:23would

00:52:23mean

00:52:24you

00:52:24have

00:52:24to

00:52:24have

00:52:24a

00:52:25pension

00:52:25plan

00:52:25in

00:52:25excess

00:52:26of

00:52:26over

00:52:26two

00:52:26million

00:52:27set

00:52:27up

00:52:27now

00:52:27let's

00:52:28be

00:52:28real

00:52:28you

00:52:29understand

00:52:29that's

00:52:30one

00:52:30percent

00:52:30of the

00:52:31population

00:52:31I know

00:52:33you had

00:52:33a long

00:52:33conversation

00:52:34with Anthony

00:52:34Bordean

00:52:35and things

00:52:35like that

00:52:35so

00:52:35you

00:52:36you

00:52:36know

00:52:36excuse

00:52:38what I

00:52:38mean

00:52:38I don't

00:52:40want to

00:52:40get

00:52:40Rob

00:52:41and

00:52:41leave

00:52:41here

00:52:41you

00:52:42are

00:52:42laughing

00:52:43viewers

00:52:45you

00:52:46have to

00:52:46do

00:52:46the

00:52:47box

00:52:47the

00:52:48views

00:52:48of

00:52:49Robert

00:52:49Dumas

00:52:50are

00:52:51not

00:52:51held

00:52:51by

00:52:51freedom

00:52:52collective

00:52:52what you

00:52:55were

00:52:55saying

00:52:55is

00:52:56you

00:52:56know

00:52:56of

00:52:57the

00:52:57people

00:52:57who

00:52:57could

00:52:58do

00:52:58that

00:52:58right

00:52:58okay

00:52:59okay

00:52:59there's

00:53:02a

00:53:02percentage

00:53:03of

00:53:03people

00:53:04in

00:53:04the

00:53:04country

00:53:04right

00:53:05and

00:53:06we

00:53:06when I

00:53:07say

00:53:07percentage

00:53:07I'm

00:53:07talking

00:53:08about

00:53:08beyond

00:53:085%

00:53:09beyond

00:53:1010

00:53:10maybe

00:53:11even

00:53:116-7%

00:53:12of the

00:53:13country

00:53:13that are

00:53:13set up

00:53:14in that

00:53:14way

00:53:14be it

00:53:15whether

00:53:15from

00:53:15accumulated

00:53:16wealth

00:53:17whether it

00:53:17be from

00:53:18inherited

00:53:19wealth

00:53:19whether it

00:53:20be from

00:53:20annuities

00:53:21there's

00:53:22certain

00:53:22plans

00:53:22people

00:53:23who

00:53:23are

00:53:23foresight

00:53:24to be

00:53:24able

00:53:24to do

00:53:24so

00:53:25that

00:53:25they're

00:53:25set

00:53:26up

00:53:26but

00:53:26there's

00:53:27a

00:53:27huge

00:53:28majority

00:53:28of

00:53:29men

00:53:29who

00:53:30are

00:53:30going

00:53:30to

00:53:30get

00:53:31into

00:53:31that

00:53:31point

00:53:32and

00:53:32at

00:53:32that

00:53:32point

00:53:33you're

00:53:36at

00:53:36what

00:53:37are

00:53:37going

00:53:37and

00:53:37if

00:53:37you

00:53:37now

00:53:38have

00:53:38to

00:53:38the

00:53:38point

00:53:39of

00:53:39losing

00:53:40family

00:53:42or

00:53:43at

00:53:43the

00:53:43point

00:53:43that

00:53:44you

00:53:44become

00:53:44sick

00:53:44or

00:53:45you

00:53:45have

00:53:46colorectal

00:53:47cancer

00:53:47all of

00:53:48these

00:53:48other

00:53:48things

00:53:48taking

00:53:48place

00:53:49and

00:53:49you're

00:53:49now

00:53:49in

00:53:50a

00:53:50hospital

00:53:50bed

00:53:51for

00:53:51you

00:53:51to

00:53:51sit

00:53:52down

00:53:52in

00:53:53that

00:53:53environment

00:53:54alone

00:53:55thank

00:53:56you

00:53:56for

00:53:56making

00:53:56the

00:53:57point

00:53:57this

00:53:59is

00:53:59the

00:54:00pinnacle

00:54:00of

00:54:00the

00:54:01show

00:54:01you

00:54:02are

00:54:02not

00:54:03you

00:54:03are

00:54:04not

00:54:04a

00:54:05work

00:54:05machine

00:54:06you're

00:54:07a

00:54:07human

00:54:08being

00:54:08brother

00:54:08and

00:54:09what

00:54:09I

00:54:10want

00:54:10to

00:54:10tell

00:54:10all

00:54:10the

00:54:11men

00:54:11out

00:54:11there

00:54:11is

00:54:11we

00:54:12young

00:54:13and

00:54:13strong

00:54:13and

00:54:14could

00:54:14do

00:54:14the

00:54:15things

00:54:15that

00:54:15we

00:54:15could

00:54:15do

00:54:15in

00:54:16the

00:54:16years

00:54:16of

00:54:16our

00:54:17youth

00:54:17but

00:54:18you

00:54:18know

00:54:18what

00:54:18equally

00:54:19important

00:54:19emotional

00:54:21investment

00:54:22in

00:54:22community

00:54:23because

00:54:24you see

00:54:24all those

00:54:25money

00:54:25systems

00:54:25and

00:54:26annuities

00:54:26it

00:54:26could

00:54:26all

00:54:27go

00:54:27to

00:54:27shit

00:54:27yeah

00:54:28could

00:54:29mean

00:54:29nothing

00:54:29if

00:54:30we

00:54:30don't

00:54:30have

00:54:31community

00:54:31like

00:54:32real

00:54:32human

00:54:35until

00:54:36our

00:54:36point

00:54:36of

00:54:36transitioning

00:54:37it

00:54:38will

00:54:38be

00:54:38all

00:54:38for

00:54:39naught

00:54:39yeah

00:54:39and

00:54:39that's

00:54:40what

00:54:40I

00:54:40want

00:54:40to

00:54:41say

00:54:41when

00:54:41you're

00:54:41talking

00:54:41about

00:54:41because

00:54:42now

00:54:42to

00:54:43me

00:54:44and

00:54:44it

00:54:44always

00:54:44gets

00:54:44to

00:54:45this

00:54:45point

00:54:45right

00:54:45we're

00:54:46no

00:54:46longer

00:54:46speaking

00:54:47about

00:54:47ourselves

00:54:47as

00:54:47individuals

00:54:48what we're

00:54:49talking about

00:54:49actually

00:54:50is

00:54:50revolution

00:54:50you know

00:54:51because

00:54:52the way

00:54:52that we

00:54:52exist

00:54:53now

00:54:53all

00:54:54of

00:54:55what

00:54:55we're

00:54:55talking

00:54:55about

00:54:55here

00:54:56it

00:54:56struggles

00:54:57to

00:54:57exist

00:54:58and to

00:54:58thrive

00:54:58in the

00:54:59environment

00:54:59we've

00:54:59been

00:54:59placed

00:55:00in

00:55:00we're

00:55:01talking

00:55:01about

00:55:01living

00:55:02in a

00:55:02cage

00:55:02we're

00:55:03talking

00:55:03about

00:55:03living

00:55:03in a

00:55:04space

00:55:04where we

00:55:04actually

00:55:04have to

00:55:05struggle

00:55:05to have

00:55:05these

00:55:06conversations

00:55:06where we

00:55:07shouldn't

00:55:08we

00:55:08struggle

00:55:09to live

00:55:09we live

00:55:09in a

00:55:09place

00:55:10where we

00:55:10are told

00:55:10to have

00:55:11certain

00:55:11aspirations

00:55:12and if

00:55:12you don't

00:55:12have

00:55:13that

00:55:13you'll

00:55:13look

00:55:14down

00:55:14on

00:55:14somebody

00:55:14else

00:55:14who

00:55:15drive

00:55:15in

00:55:15a

00:55:15two

00:55:17bedroom

00:55:18and never

00:55:18ask

00:55:19if they

00:55:19happy

00:55:19or if

00:55:20they

00:55:20we never

00:55:21ask

00:55:21you understand

00:55:22we never

00:55:23never

00:55:23ask

00:55:23and with

00:55:23this

00:55:24constant

00:55:24going

00:55:25going

00:55:25attaining

00:55:26attaining

00:55:27attaining

00:55:27and as

00:55:28long as

00:55:28I have

00:55:29it

00:55:29I could

00:55:30feel good

00:55:30I have

00:55:31it

00:55:31I have

00:55:31it

00:55:31and then

00:55:32you reach

00:55:33like Lucy

00:55:33you're

00:55:33in your

00:55:3480s

00:55:35going up

00:55:35into your

00:55:3690s

00:55:36if God

00:55:37spare

00:55:37life

00:55:37and you

00:55:39have

00:55:39all the

00:55:39things

00:55:39let me

00:55:40say

00:55:40let me

00:55:40say

00:55:40you have

00:55:40the

00:55:41things

00:55:41it's

00:55:42set

00:55:42up

00:55:42you

00:55:43wouldn't

00:55:43be

00:55:43happy

00:55:44you

00:55:44wouldn't

00:55:45be

00:55:45happy

00:55:45at

00:55:45all

00:55:45because

00:55:46it's

00:55:46things

00:55:46it's

00:55:47things

00:55:47I

00:55:48had

00:55:48a

00:55:49client

00:55:49and he

00:55:53said

00:55:53that

00:55:53he

00:55:54contacted

00:55:55me

00:55:55because

00:55:55he

00:55:56have

00:55:56everything

00:55:56he

00:55:57said

00:55:57he

00:55:58worked

00:55:58in the

00:55:58bank

00:55:58so he

00:55:59reached

00:55:59the highest

00:56:00level

00:56:00he had

00:56:00a corner

00:56:01office

00:56:01he showed

00:56:02me

00:56:02look at

00:56:02my house

00:56:03look at

00:56:04my children

00:56:05and my wife

00:56:06and he

00:56:06said

00:56:07something

00:56:08missing

00:56:08and he

00:56:09said

00:56:09right now

00:56:12if you're

00:56:12not thinking

00:56:13about anybody

00:56:14what would

00:56:14you do

00:56:15he said

00:56:16he would

00:56:16jump on a

00:56:17bike and

00:56:17just ride

00:56:18around the

00:56:18world

00:56:19so I

00:56:20said

00:56:20why

00:56:20do

00:56:20that

00:56:21he

00:56:21said

00:56:21well

00:56:21and he

00:56:22started

00:56:22to say

00:56:22all of

00:56:23these

00:56:23things

00:56:23but he

00:56:24created

00:56:24all those

00:56:25things

00:56:25he created

00:56:26these

00:56:27as I

00:56:28said

00:56:28architect

00:56:28we

00:56:29create

00:56:29our

00:56:30own

00:56:30matrix

00:56:30so we

00:56:31create it

00:56:32then in it

00:56:33and then

00:56:34vex with it

00:56:34of course

00:56:36but what

00:56:39you all

00:56:39were saying

00:56:39because of

00:56:41the program

00:56:42and now that

00:56:43we understand

00:56:44the program

00:56:44and I

00:56:45love the way

00:56:45they use

00:56:46revolution

00:56:46because I

00:56:47was thinking

00:56:47the same

00:56:47thing

00:56:48I was thinking

00:56:48a lot of

00:56:49these things

00:56:49we're seeing

00:56:50is going

00:56:50against the

00:56:51green

00:56:51pulling yourself

00:56:52out of the

00:56:53matrix

00:56:54and I

00:56:55love that

00:56:57every episode

00:56:58that we do

00:56:59on the show

00:56:59helped me

00:57:01get a little

00:57:01piece of what

00:57:02I define to be

00:57:03a man for

00:57:04myself now

00:57:05and I think I

00:57:06and I think I

00:57:06reached a point

00:57:07where

00:57:07what I would

00:57:09define myself

00:57:10as a man

00:57:10is being a

00:57:12whole person

00:57:12of course

00:57:13beautiful

00:57:15yeah

00:57:16a whole

00:57:17person

00:57:18because

00:57:20we've been

00:57:21living

00:57:21half

00:57:22lives

00:57:23quarter

00:57:23lives

00:57:24fractional

00:57:25mutilated

00:57:25lives

00:57:26running

00:57:26down

00:57:26things

00:57:27and the

00:57:28thing is

00:57:29all of us

00:57:30will program

00:57:31in different ways

00:57:31because our

00:57:32families

00:57:32I see my

00:57:33father do this

00:57:33I see my

00:57:34uncles do this

00:57:34I see my

00:57:35father do

00:57:36etc etc

00:57:37and we

00:57:37go to

00:57:38attain it

00:57:38but something

00:57:39I believe

00:57:40in our

00:57:41souls

00:57:42and just

00:57:45for me

00:57:46the last

00:57:46thing I

00:57:46would say

00:57:47is this

00:57:47because I

00:57:47was having

00:57:47this

00:57:48conversation

00:57:48with him

00:57:48yesterday

00:57:49yeah

00:57:50it's

00:57:51our

00:57:52spirits

00:57:52are crying

00:57:53out for

00:57:53truth

00:57:54right

00:57:55and the

00:57:56truth

00:57:56of a

00:57:56kind of

00:57:56way

00:57:56when it

00:57:57shows up

00:57:57it is

00:57:58just

00:57:58everything

00:58:00has

00:58:00crumbled

00:58:00and it

00:58:01is

00:58:01you know

00:58:01and I

00:58:03grew up

00:58:03in a

00:58:03space

00:58:03where I

00:58:04had to

00:58:04be

00:58:04very

00:58:04politically

00:58:04correct

00:58:05because

00:58:05my

00:58:06father

00:58:06had

00:58:06many

00:58:06wives

00:58:07and

00:58:07we

00:58:07had

00:58:08a

00:58:08family

00:58:09situation

00:58:09that

00:58:09was

00:58:09much

00:58:09more

00:58:10like a

00:58:11kingdom

00:58:11kind

00:58:12of

00:58:12dynasty

00:58:12thing

00:58:12going

00:58:13on

00:58:13you

00:58:13couldn't

00:58:14always

00:58:14be

00:58:14yourself

00:58:15it

00:58:15wasn't

00:58:15safe

00:58:16you

00:58:16know

00:58:16I

00:58:17think

00:58:18many

00:58:18people

00:58:18feel

00:58:18that

00:58:18way

00:58:18growing up

00:58:19you

00:58:19make a

00:58:20measure

00:58:21of the

00:58:21world

00:58:21you're

00:58:21living

00:58:21in

00:58:22and

00:58:22you

00:58:22make a

00:58:22measure

00:58:22of

00:58:23yourself

00:58:23and

00:58:23you

00:58:23realize

00:58:23I'm

00:58:24a

00:58:24square

00:58:24there's

00:58:25a

00:58:25circle

00:58:25I need

00:58:26to

00:58:26pretend

00:58:26to be

00:58:26a

00:58:26circle

00:58:27I'm

00:58:27going to

00:58:27fix

00:58:27the

00:58:27images

00:58:28real

00:58:28quick

00:58:28and

00:58:28stuff

00:58:28myself

00:58:29in

00:58:29there

00:58:29and

00:58:31then

00:58:31as

00:58:31you

00:58:31get

00:58:31older

00:58:31you

00:58:33just

00:58:33realize

00:58:33that

00:58:34the

00:58:34thing

00:58:34that

00:58:35sets

00:58:35everything

00:58:35right

00:58:36is

00:58:36when

00:58:36you

00:58:37be

00:58:37who

00:58:37you're

00:58:38supposed

00:58:38to

00:58:38be

00:58:38that

00:58:38whole

00:58:39human

00:58:39you're

00:58:39talking

00:58:39about

00:58:40but

00:58:41the

00:58:41revolution

00:58:41occurs

00:58:42now

00:58:42because

00:58:42you

00:58:43have

00:58:43allowed

00:58:44the

00:58:44space

00:58:45to

00:58:45assume

00:58:45that

00:58:46this

00:58:46is

00:58:46your

00:58:46shape

00:58:46and

00:58:47then

00:58:48you

00:58:48start

00:58:48telling

00:58:48the

00:58:49truth

00:58:49and

00:58:49you

00:58:49realize

00:58:49oh

00:58:50wow

00:58:50nah

00:58:50I

00:58:51thought

00:58:51he

00:58:51was

00:58:51a

00:58:52circle

00:58:52but

00:58:52this

00:58:52is

00:58:53some

00:58:53kind

00:58:53of

00:58:53oblong

00:58:54something

00:58:54whatever

00:59:01look

00:59:01in

00:59:01the

00:59:01mirror

00:59:02because

00:59:02now

00:59:02you're

00:59:02going

00:59:03to

00:59:03be

00:59:03fighting

00:59:03old

00:59:04programming

00:59:04in

00:59:04your

00:59:05own

00:59:05self

00:59:05you know

00:59:06what I

00:59:06mean

00:59:06and I

00:59:07think

00:59:08that

00:59:08what

00:59:08life

00:59:08is

00:59:09supposed

00:59:09to

00:59:09be

00:59:09and

00:59:10what

00:59:10manhood

00:59:10is

00:59:10supposed

00:59:11to

00:59:11be

00:59:11is

00:59:11the

00:59:11journey

00:59:12towards

00:59:13the

00:59:13discovery

00:59:13of

00:59:14that

00:59:14whole

00:59:14self

00:59:14and

00:59:15maybe

00:59:15we

00:59:15never

00:59:15get

00:59:16there

00:59:16fully

00:59:16and

00:59:17maybe

00:59:17that

00:59:17is

00:59:17the

00:59:17beautiful

00:59:18part

00:59:18of it

00:59:18that

00:59:18you

00:59:18always

00:59:19something

00:59:19to

00:59:19look

00:59:19forward

00:59:19to

00:59:20but

00:59:20that

00:59:31saying

00:59:31to

00:59:31him

00:59:32that

00:59:32when

00:59:32you

00:59:32start

00:59:32telling

00:59:33the

00:59:33truth

00:59:33you

00:59:34give

00:59:34other

00:59:34people

00:59:34permission

00:59:35to

00:59:36tell

00:59:36the

00:59:36truth

00:59:36as

00:59:36well

00:59:37because

00:59:37somebody

00:59:38else

00:59:38would

00:59:38say

00:59:38oh

00:59:39me

00:59:39too

00:59:39I

00:59:39didn't

00:59:40know

00:59:40that

00:59:40could

00:59:40be

00:59:40said

00:59:41you

00:59:41know

00:59:42I

00:59:42didn't

00:59:42know

00:59:42that

00:59:42could

00:59:43be

00:59:43lived

00:59:43yeah

00:59:46being a

00:59:46whole

00:59:47human

00:59:47which

00:59:47is

00:59:48truth

00:59:49I

00:59:49shared

00:59:50video

00:59:50with

00:59:50me

00:59:51and

00:59:51they

00:59:52were

00:59:52saying

00:59:52you

00:59:52know

00:59:53you

00:59:53can

00:59:53measure

00:59:53the

00:59:54different

00:59:54emotions

00:59:55based

00:59:55on

00:59:55frequency

00:59:56and

00:59:56well

00:59:57one

00:59:58this

00:59:58is

00:59:58outside

00:59:58of

00:59:59the

00:59:59video

00:59:59I

01:00:00learned

01:00:00that

01:00:00shame

01:00:01the

01:00:02vibration

01:00:02of

01:00:02shame

01:00:03is

01:00:03close

01:00:04to

01:00:04when

01:00:04you

01:00:04are

01:00:05dead

01:00:05body

01:00:05and

01:00:07then

01:00:07the

01:00:07highest

01:00:08vibration

01:00:08I

01:00:08thought

01:00:09was

01:00:09joy

01:00:09but

01:00:10actually

01:00:10the

01:00:10highest

01:00:11vibration

01:00:11is

01:00:11authenticity

01:00:12no

01:00:13matter

01:00:13how

01:00:13it

01:00:13come

01:00:13even

01:00:14if

01:00:14authenticity

01:00:14is

01:00:15your

01:00:15mother

01:00:16authentic

01:00:17self

01:00:17the highest

01:00:18vibration

01:00:19the highest

01:00:20stresses

01:00:20I like

01:00:21so if

01:00:21we

01:00:22thinking

01:00:22about

01:00:23being

01:00:23the best

01:00:25self

01:00:25then we

01:00:26ought to be

01:00:27the honest

01:00:27self

01:00:27I ain't

01:00:28saying it

01:00:28easy

01:00:28because I

01:00:29know this

01:00:30is easier

01:00:30said than

01:00:31done

01:00:31especially

01:00:32for us

01:00:33men

01:00:33and I

01:00:34really

01:00:34want to

01:00:34delve

01:00:34into that

01:00:35read

01:00:36that book

01:00:36manipulated

01:00:37manner

01:00:37to get

01:00:38you

01:00:38to understand

01:00:39because I

01:00:39feel like

01:00:40just

01:00:40talking

01:00:41to

01:00:41that

01:00:41yeah

01:00:42yeah

01:00:43yeah

01:00:43right

01:00:44but

01:00:45I

01:00:46and

01:00:48I

01:00:48think

01:00:49I

01:00:49remember

01:00:49age

01:00:5011

01:00:50thinking

01:00:51about

01:00:52if

01:00:53everybody

01:00:54was

01:00:55the

01:00:55authentic

01:00:55self

01:00:56how

01:00:57would

01:00:57the world

01:00:57look

01:00:58and to

01:01:01this day

01:01:01I haven't

01:01:02seen it

01:01:02yet

01:01:02and I

01:01:03would

01:01:04love

01:01:04you know

01:01:06you start

01:01:06telling me

01:01:06something

01:01:06I want

01:01:07to see

01:01:07a utopia

01:01:08right

01:01:08I would

01:01:09love

01:01:09to see

01:01:10even if

01:01:11it's not

01:01:11a whole

01:01:12world

01:01:12to be

01:01:12if I

01:01:13have

01:01:13space

01:01:13with

01:01:13a hundred

01:01:15people

01:01:15just

01:01:15being

01:01:16themselves

01:01:16bro

01:01:17I

01:01:17just

01:01:19want

01:01:19to

01:01:19see

01:01:20it

01:01:20I

01:01:21think

01:01:21it

01:01:21would

01:01:21be

01:01:21so

01:01:22beautiful

01:01:22it's

01:01:22like

01:01:23it's

01:01:23like

01:01:23a

01:01:24painting

01:01:24you know

01:01:24I would

01:01:25tell you

01:01:25come on

01:01:26free

01:01:26tongue

01:01:26concert

01:01:27when

01:01:27you

01:01:27have

01:01:28one

01:01:30more

01:01:31thing

01:01:31to

01:01:31say

01:01:31this

01:01:33would

01:01:33be

01:01:34for

01:01:34all

01:01:35the

01:01:35men

01:01:35out

01:01:35there

01:01:35there's

01:01:37a quote

01:01:37I heard

01:01:38about

01:01:3910

01:01:39years

01:01:39ago

01:01:39and

01:01:40it

01:01:41not

01:01:41only

01:01:41changed

01:01:42my

01:01:42life

01:01:42it

01:01:42changed

01:01:43Muhammad's

01:01:43life

01:01:44as

01:01:44well

01:01:45and

01:01:45everybody

01:01:45around

01:01:45us

01:01:46someone

01:01:47I

01:01:47really

01:01:47respect

01:01:48he

01:01:48is

01:01:49one

01:01:49of

01:01:49my

01:01:49mentors

01:01:50even

01:01:50though

01:01:50you

01:01:50don't

01:01:51know

01:01:51it

01:01:51it's

01:01:52a man

01:01:52called

01:01:52professor

01:01:53Cornel

01:01:53West

01:01:54and he

01:01:55said

01:01:55the condition

01:01:56of truth

01:01:57is to

01:01:58allow

01:01:58suffering

01:01:59to speak

01:02:00many

01:02:01do

01:02:02how to

01:02:02suffer

01:02:02in

01:02:03silence

01:02:03even

01:02:04if

01:02:04you

01:02:05find a

01:02:05room

01:02:05by

01:02:06yourself

01:02:06and

01:02:06say

01:02:07it

01:02:07aloud

01:02:07you

01:02:09how to

01:02:09say

01:02:09it

01:02:10yeah

01:02:10way

01:02:10men

01:02:11we

01:02:11are

01:02:11suffering

01:02:12and

01:02:13it

01:02:13has

01:02:13not

01:02:13been

01:02:14doing

01:02:14us

01:02:14any

01:02:14favors

01:02:15keeping

01:02:15it

01:02:15inside

01:02:16that

01:02:17is

01:02:17what

01:02:17this

01:02:18is

01:02:18I

01:02:20normally

01:02:21and I

01:02:22think

01:02:22at a

01:02:22season

01:02:23finale

01:02:23I

01:02:23have

01:02:23something

01:02:24really

01:02:24powerful

01:02:26to say

01:02:26or something

01:02:27at all

01:02:27but you

01:02:27know

01:02:27the truth

01:02:28is

01:02:28I

01:02:30appreciate

01:02:31all the

01:02:33guests

01:02:34that have

01:02:34come on

01:02:34the show

01:02:34the brothers

01:02:35that have

01:02:36shared

01:02:36appreciate

01:02:37this one

01:02:38very

01:02:38powerfully

01:02:38but

01:02:39something

01:02:39about

01:02:40this

01:02:40one

01:02:40resonating

01:02:43with me

01:02:43in the

01:02:43sense

01:02:43that

01:02:44rather

01:02:45than a

01:02:46closure

01:02:46just have

01:02:47a quicker

01:02:47conversation

01:02:48before we

01:02:49close

01:02:49on the

01:02:50fact that

01:02:50because

01:02:50the topic

01:02:51is

01:02:52responsibilities

01:02:53don't define

01:02:54manhood

01:02:55but at the

01:02:55same time

01:02:56on the

01:02:56focus

01:02:57of those

01:02:57responsibilities

01:02:58the beneficiaries

01:03:00of your

01:03:00focus

01:03:01to what

01:03:04those

01:03:04responsibilities

01:03:04to provide

01:03:05whether it

01:03:05be a

01:03:06house

01:03:06to put

01:03:06food

01:03:07on the

01:03:07table

01:03:07and so

01:03:07on

01:03:08are not

01:03:09guaranteed

01:03:10to stay

01:03:10in your

01:03:10life

01:03:11exactly

01:03:12and so

01:03:13you could

01:03:13end up

01:03:14at the

01:03:14end of

01:03:14your

01:03:14life

01:03:15looking

01:03:15back

01:03:16at what

01:03:16you

01:03:16dedicated

01:03:17it to

01:03:17with the

01:03:19thought

01:03:19or the

01:03:20expectation

01:03:20to not

01:03:22be alone

01:03:23or to

01:03:24not be

01:03:24in that

01:03:24state

01:03:25that you

01:03:25now may

01:03:25find

01:03:26yourself

01:03:26in

01:03:26meeting

01:03:27in a

01:03:27hospital

01:03:27bed

01:03:28somewhere

01:03:28or in

01:03:29a home

01:03:30or the

01:03:31side

01:03:31of the

01:03:31road

01:03:31whatever

01:03:32the

01:03:32case

01:03:32may

01:03:32be

01:03:33right

01:03:33and in

01:03:35the

01:03:35end

01:03:35the

01:03:36fear

01:03:37of

01:03:37man

01:03:37is to

01:03:38be

01:03:38one

01:03:39to

01:03:40not

01:03:40be

01:03:40enough

01:03:41to

01:03:41not

01:03:41be

01:03:41loved

01:03:42and in

01:03:42bigger

01:03:42context

01:03:43to

01:03:44not

01:03:44die

01:03:44alone

01:03:45and so

01:03:46something

01:03:47with the

01:03:47conversation

01:03:48there about

01:03:48what

01:03:49where your

01:03:50focus should

01:03:50really be

01:03:51and having

01:03:52that

01:03:52conversation

01:03:52die before

01:03:54you die

01:03:54die before

01:03:56you die

01:03:56right

01:03:57it is

01:03:58every single

01:04:00teaching

01:04:01tells you

01:04:01this

01:04:01and what

01:04:02that means

01:04:03is that

01:04:03you live

01:04:04and you

01:04:04walk with

01:04:04the

01:04:05expectation

01:04:05of

01:04:06your

01:04:06end

01:04:06right

01:04:07so

01:04:08you have

01:04:11children

01:04:12or people

01:04:13in your

01:04:14life

01:04:14you have

01:04:15to sit

01:04:16down

01:04:16sometimes

01:04:17and think

01:04:17about your

01:04:18life

01:04:18without

01:04:18them

01:04:19who are

01:04:20you

01:04:20defined

01:04:21as in

01:04:21the

01:04:22absence

01:04:22of all

01:04:22the

01:04:23things

01:04:23you have

01:04:23gathered

01:04:23around

01:04:24you

01:04:24whether it

01:04:25be your

01:04:25house

01:04:25your car

01:04:26your

01:04:26children

01:04:26your wife

01:04:27your lover

01:04:28your dog

01:04:28if all

01:04:29of these

01:04:30things were

01:04:30to vanish

01:04:30you have

01:04:31to have

01:04:31this

01:04:32thought

01:04:32you cannot

01:04:33run from

01:04:34these

01:04:34thoughts

01:04:35if everything

01:04:36I have

01:04:37was to

01:04:37go

01:04:38and if

01:04:40and if

01:04:40you find

01:04:41that

01:04:41uncomfortable

01:04:42to sit

01:04:42with

01:04:42which you

01:04:43will

01:04:43have to

01:04:45you have

01:04:46to put

01:04:47yourself

01:04:47into a

01:04:47state

01:04:48people think

01:04:48that meditation

01:04:49is useless

01:04:49you know

01:04:50but people

01:04:51think meditation

01:04:52is sit

01:04:52on and just

01:04:53try to

01:04:53quiet your

01:04:54mind

01:04:54space

01:04:54no it's

01:04:55it's

01:04:55focus

01:04:56it's where

01:04:57you put

01:04:57your focus

01:04:58right

01:04:58and one of

01:05:00those things

01:05:00is as

01:05:01you go

01:05:01along

01:05:02you cannot

01:05:02wait for

01:05:03the end

01:05:03of your

01:05:03life to

01:05:04come for

01:05:04you to

01:05:04begin to

01:05:05negotiate

01:05:05what the

01:05:05end of

01:05:06your life

01:05:06is going

01:05:06to look

01:05:07like for

01:05:07you

01:05:07when all

01:05:09of these

01:05:09things are

01:05:09gone

01:05:10when you

01:05:11know I

01:05:12mean

01:05:12when the

01:05:13table

01:05:14shut off

01:05:14and all

01:05:14life

01:05:15lock off

01:05:15and I

01:05:15am a

01:05:16mere

01:05:16mortal

01:05:16again

01:05:16all these

01:05:18things

01:05:18gone

01:05:18how are

01:05:19you going

01:05:20to enjoy

01:05:20this one

01:05:21life that

01:05:21you have

01:05:21been

01:05:21given

01:05:22what do

01:05:22you like

01:05:22to do

01:05:23what do

01:05:23you like

01:05:23to eat

01:05:24understand

01:05:25do you

01:05:26paint

01:05:26do you

01:05:27run

01:05:27do you

01:05:27draw

01:05:28what you

01:05:28just do

01:05:29not what

01:05:29you do

01:05:30for other

01:05:30people

01:05:31what do

01:05:31you do

01:05:32so gents

01:05:34that actually

01:05:36is for

01:05:36the men

01:05:37in flux

01:05:37of men

01:05:38I came

01:05:38most of

01:05:39them I

01:05:39give that

01:05:39assignment

01:05:40to write

01:05:41down

01:05:41what is

01:05:42your life

01:05:42it could

01:05:43be from

01:05:44the trivial

01:05:44thing

01:05:44the way

01:05:45you like

01:05:45to eat

01:05:45to bigger

01:05:46aspirations

01:05:47and most

01:05:48men say

01:05:48they had

01:05:50a hard

01:05:50time

01:05:50writing

01:05:52five things

01:05:53they had

01:05:53a hard

01:05:53time

01:05:53writing

01:05:54three

01:05:54I tell

01:05:54if you

01:05:55ask me

01:05:55and he

01:05:55that

01:05:55I

01:05:56give

01:05:56a thesis

01:05:56someone

01:05:57I like

01:05:57one

01:05:57time

01:05:58I know

01:05:58I keep

01:05:59saying

01:05:59one more

01:05:59thing

01:05:59I realize

01:06:00that but

01:06:01you know

01:06:01it's one

01:06:02of those

01:06:02things

01:06:02one more

01:06:03thing

01:06:03and the

01:06:04reason why

01:06:04I think

01:06:05this is

01:06:05important

01:06:05is because

01:06:06it came

01:06:07from

01:06:08women

01:06:08in my

01:06:08life

01:06:09and this

01:06:11really

01:06:11shake up

01:06:12my idea

01:06:13of my

01:06:13own

01:06:13manhood

01:06:14I've

01:06:15been

01:06:15two

01:06:15distinct

01:06:16times

01:06:17where

01:06:18women

01:06:19wanted

01:06:19to do

01:06:19something

01:06:20good

01:06:20for me

01:06:20and

01:06:22immediately

01:06:23I tried

01:06:24to calculate

01:06:25the most

01:06:26cost

01:06:26effective

01:06:27way

01:06:28that would

01:06:29not

01:06:29cause

01:06:30them

01:06:30to

01:06:31sacrifice

01:06:31and they

01:06:33got mad

01:06:33at me

01:06:34they said

01:06:35no

01:06:35choose

01:06:37the one

01:06:37that you

01:06:38like

01:06:38bro I

01:06:40went on

01:06:41cry

01:06:41like a

01:06:43little

01:06:43baby

01:06:43and that

01:06:45is when I

01:06:46felt all

01:06:46the compartments

01:06:47that society

01:06:48put inside

01:06:48of me

01:06:49just break

01:06:49down

01:06:50that I'm

01:06:51worthy

01:06:52to do

01:06:53things

01:06:53that I

01:06:53like

01:06:54not

01:06:56because

01:06:56I have

01:06:57a penis

01:06:57and I

01:06:58could

01:06:58lift

01:06:58everything

01:06:59mean

01:07:00that we

01:07:03are exempt

01:07:03from doing

01:07:05things that

01:07:05we like

01:07:05yeah

01:07:06facts

01:07:07we deserve

01:07:08it

01:07:09you deserve

01:07:10it

01:07:11you deserve

01:07:11it

01:07:12you deserve

01:07:12it

01:07:13men out

01:07:14they deserve

01:07:15it

01:07:15and they need

01:07:17to know

01:07:17that they

01:07:18deserve it

01:07:18and we

01:07:20certainly

01:07:21deserve to

01:07:21go longer

01:07:22but we

01:07:23have to

01:07:23come to

01:07:23our close

01:07:24at some

01:07:25point

01:07:26and you

01:07:26know I

01:07:26just want

01:07:27to touch

01:07:27in summary

01:07:27across

01:07:29this season

01:07:30of manhood

01:07:31we've

01:07:31touched on

01:07:31so many

01:07:32things

01:07:32be it

01:07:32fatherhood

01:07:33a lot

01:07:34of the

01:07:34terms

01:07:34and

01:07:35terminologies

01:07:35that are

01:07:36used

01:07:36to

01:07:37define

01:07:40man

01:07:41but also

01:07:42in those

01:07:43terminologies

01:07:43also suppresses

01:07:45you know

01:07:46our ideologies

01:07:47our thoughts

01:07:48of what

01:07:48makes us

01:07:49men

01:07:49at the

01:07:50core

01:07:50and as

01:07:51you said

01:07:51about breaking

01:07:52up that

01:07:52construct

01:07:53that

01:07:54we've been

01:07:55led to

01:07:56believe

01:07:56we should

01:07:57be

01:07:57and at

01:07:58the bottom

01:07:58line

01:07:59it's really

01:07:59down to

01:08:00being

01:08:00yourself

01:08:01we could

01:08:02only be

01:08:02ourselves

01:08:02you know

01:08:03when people

01:08:03say be

01:08:04a man

01:08:04you could

01:08:05only be

01:08:06that

01:08:06you know

01:08:07you could

01:08:07only live

01:08:08your truth

01:08:08I would

01:08:09like to

01:08:10say

01:08:10be this

01:08:12definition

01:08:12right

01:08:13and as we

01:08:14said just

01:08:14now with

01:08:14that box

01:08:15but I

01:08:16try to

01:08:16live by

01:08:17the fact

01:08:17that you

01:08:18know

01:08:18you touched

01:08:19on it

01:08:19Lou

01:08:20where

01:08:21what is

01:08:22powerful

01:08:22is you

01:08:23can't

01:08:24I cannot

01:08:24be

01:08:25responsible

01:08:26for somebody

01:08:26else's

01:08:27behavior

01:08:27somebody

01:08:27else's

01:08:28reaction

01:08:28I can

01:08:29only determine

01:08:30my own

01:08:30and therefore

01:08:31even with

01:08:32those

01:08:33responsibilities

01:08:33that you

01:08:34determine

01:08:34that's what

01:08:35you want

01:08:36to do

01:08:36if indeed

01:08:37those persons

01:08:38make that

01:08:38choice

01:08:39to not

01:08:41be there

01:08:41what's

01:08:42important

01:08:42is how

01:08:43you acted

01:08:44or how

01:08:45you were

01:08:45in your

01:08:46community

01:08:46and the

01:08:48people that

01:08:48are around

01:08:48you

01:08:48that community

01:08:49doesn't have to be

01:08:50a specific

01:08:50part of the

01:08:51it doesn't have to be

01:08:51a demographic

01:08:53it can be

01:08:54something simply

01:08:54the people you

01:08:55surround yourself

01:08:56by so that

01:08:57your legacy

01:08:57a positive

01:08:58one of that

01:08:59lives on

01:09:00and trying

01:09:01always to

01:09:02leave a room

01:09:03better

01:09:03than you

01:09:04met it

01:09:05and as long

01:09:07as you

01:09:07can do that

01:09:09and live

01:09:09your truth

01:09:10you're being a man

01:09:13you're being a man

01:09:15so

01:09:16Johanse

01:09:17Lou

01:09:18Mohammed

01:09:19really powerful

01:09:20conversation here today

01:09:22on manhood

01:09:22appreciate you

01:09:24all

01:09:24and thank you

01:09:26so much

01:09:26to of course

01:09:28all our viewers

01:09:28listeners

01:09:29wherever you're

01:09:30hearing

01:09:30or watching

01:09:31manhood

01:09:32thank you

01:09:32for tuning

01:09:33in

01:09:33I hope

01:09:34that we've

01:09:35brought some

01:09:35sort of

01:09:36enlightenment

01:09:36in that

01:09:38space

01:09:39and

01:09:40what's one

01:09:41of the other

01:09:41key takeaways

01:09:42before we

01:09:42close

01:09:43don't

01:09:44in silence

01:09:45don't suffer

01:09:46in silence

01:09:47don't suffer

01:09:48in silence

01:09:48for real

01:09:51smoke

01:09:53signal

01:09:54anything

01:09:54the same

01:09:55or something

01:09:55correct

01:09:56but he's

01:09:56going to say

01:09:57smoke

01:09:57something

01:09:57you know

01:09:58the definition

01:09:59of insanity

01:09:59is doing

01:09:59the same

01:10:00thing

01:10:00over and

01:10:00over

01:10:01and expecting

01:10:01a different

01:10:01result

01:10:02so if you

01:10:03want something

01:10:03different for

01:10:04yourself

01:10:04do something

01:10:06different

01:10:06good

01:10:07yeah

01:10:07so this

01:10:07has been

01:10:08manhood

01:10:14brought to you

01:10:15in part by

01:10:16Reboot Sports

01:10:16Drink

01:10:17manhood

01:10:18brought to you

01:10:19in part by

01:10:20Solomon's

01:10:21Bespoke

ManHood - S03E12 Responsibilities Don't Define Manhood

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