Nohui a vécu ce qu'il y a de pire pour un enfant. Après avoir perdu sa mère qui s'est ôtée la vie, elle a été la proie de son propre père qui a abusé d'elle et de sa soeur durant de nombreuses années. Le jour où elles ont trouvé le courage d'alerter leur directeur du collège, elle ont appris que toutes leurs amies ont aussi été abusées par le père de Nohui. Mais après de nombreuses années de foyers, deux longs procès, Nohui a tenté de retrouver son père pour comprendre le mal qu'il lui a fait. Elle nous raconte.
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Retrouvez Nohui sur instagram : https://www.instagram.com/nel_brn_/
Suivez O-Rigines le nouveau média qui s’intéresse à l’histoire des histoires.
Podcast : bit.ly/Origines_podcast
Youtube : https://www.youtube.com/@originesmedia
Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/origines.media
Twitter : https://twitter.com/Originesmedia
TikTok : https://www.tiktok.com/@originesmedia
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AmusantTranscription
00:00 I think if he hadn't said that, I would have suffered less.
00:04 After that, I thought all my life that I was a faulty person.
00:09 When I was a child, my father worked in a restaurant.
00:13 He worked until late at night.
00:15 So when we were on guard at his house, he came into my room.
00:17 He thought I was sleeping.
00:18 I stayed motionless in my bed, my eyes closed,
00:21 especially so that he wouldn't realize that I was awake.
00:25 I mainly experienced emotional distress.
00:27 He left when he was done, and in the morning,
00:30 we were like nothing had happened.
00:32 I became a completely normal person again.
00:34 One morning, my sister came to see me and said,
00:39 "Listen, Noé, we need to talk.
00:41 Has your father ever touched you?"
00:43 My reaction was to say no.
00:45 I had already tried to discuss this with my friends at school,
00:48 but you have to know that my father was a very charismatic person.
00:51 He had the good graces of everyone.
00:53 When I talked to him, she told me right away,
00:56 "Noé, your father would never do such a thing.
00:59 You're a liar."
01:01 I was shocked and I didn't talk to him anymore.
01:03 I thought about it for a while, and after a while,
01:06 she came back to me and said, "Are you sure, Noé?
01:08 Because this summer, when you left for the United States,
01:10 I think Dad mistook people and beds when he came home from work.
01:14 He tried to do things to you."
01:16 I thought, "Wow, okay."
01:19 "So you're not your father's wife anymore."
01:23 I told myself that right away.
01:25 I said, "You're not your father's only little wife."
01:29 I didn't immediately understand that there were other people
01:34 who were affected by sexual assault,
01:36 and I didn't put the word "sexual assault" in my head.
01:39 For me, it was more like an adultery.
01:43 I had taken my mother's place,
01:45 and he missed his wife, whom he lost,
01:49 and whom he suffered a lot from his death.
01:52 I think at one point, it didn't fit in Dad's head.
01:57 He forgot that he had to put limits on it.
02:00 I was a child, so it wasn't my role to do it.
02:03 In my head, I said to myself, "Okay, so you're not the only one."
02:08 So I told my sister, "Okay, Dad, something happened."
02:14 We said, "Okay, we have to go over the timeline of what happened."
02:18 She realized that it started very early for me,
02:22 but without knowing what exactly.
02:25 We didn't really get into the heart of the matter.
02:28 She said, "Noé, I'm going to ask you to do something very, very hard."
02:33 "But tonight, when he comes home, you act as if nothing happened."
02:37 "We'll sleep together, we'll protect each other."
02:40 "Tomorrow morning, we'll do the necessary things to stop it."
02:44 When we arrived at the school the next morning,
02:46 we went to see the principal right away.
02:48 We told him, "We've been sexually assaulted by our father."
02:54 "We have to talk about it."
02:56 He was speechless. He asked us to sit down.
02:59 Then we had to go see the school nurse to discuss it.
03:03 We had to tell her our story in detail.
03:06 I remember my sister came out of the nurse's office crying.
03:10 It was very hard for her to tell all of this.
03:14 I put myself in a kind of shell,
03:17 I put myself in a kind of protective dome,
03:21 so as not to suffer, to stay strong.
03:24 I explained things quite simply, in the end.
03:27 When I was asked, "What was he doing?"
03:30 He was caressing me.
03:32 "What was he touching?" "Where?"
03:35 I was showing him, "Over there, or there."
03:38 The hardest part was the rape.
03:43 It happened once.
03:45 I wasn't sure it would happen, because I was sleeping.
03:49 I didn't really wake up that time.
03:53 The pain woke me up.
03:57 It stopped right away.
03:59 I explained to the school nurse, "I don't know what happened,
04:03 I just felt pain."
04:05 It woke me up.
04:07 I pretended to fall off the bed, so it would stop.
04:10 I left.
04:11 I went to the bathroom, I washed my face.
04:14 Then he came to see me, saying, "What did you do?"
04:19 Those words touched me for the rest of my life.
04:22 I think if he hadn't said that, I might not have suffered so much.
04:26 After that, I thought my whole life was a mistake.
04:32 Even today, there are many times when I still doubt
04:36 whether I'm guilty or not.
04:38 The anger I have for him has turned into sadness over the years.
04:44 I carry that with me every day.
04:47 I also resent having hated him so much,
04:50 because it made me different.
04:53 I was a little girl who dreamed of Prince Charming.
04:56 My grandmother called me "my little Rossignol"
04:59 because I spent my life singing.
05:01 One day, my father carried me with him on the dark side.
05:07 I became someone who was strong, someone who was tough.
05:11 I didn't dream of Prince Charming anymore.
05:14 I had a relationship with my body that became unhealthy.
05:17 It made me hate him.
05:19 I wanted him to die.
05:22 I told myself that if I saw him again, I would shoot him.
05:27 I would find a way to kill him.
05:30 Once my sister and I told our stories to the school nurse,
05:34 she let us go out with our friends.
05:37 The fact that they heard that
05:39 allowed them to tell us that they had also experienced things with our father.
05:43 During a break, we went to see all the friends we had invited to sleep.
05:48 Five of our friends were affected.
05:53 The parents were called, they were heard.
05:56 Each one of them was heard.
05:58 It was a wave of life changing.
06:02 We were placed in a home, we were heard by the police,
06:06 we were received by the doctor to see any signs of abuse or rape.
06:14 My sister and I stayed together all along.
06:17 We were allowed to go back to our grandmother's.
06:19 When we were heard by the police at the beginning of the story,
06:24 we were asked if we were ready to confront him or not.
06:29 I couldn't.
06:31 I said no, my sister said no too,
06:33 and I think the other little girls said no too.
06:36 We went to court with my grandmother, my aunt, my sister and me.
06:40 There were two judgments, one in the correctional and one in the sitting.
06:44 He was sentenced to two years in prison for the young girls who were affected
06:49 and who are not his daughters, so in the correctional court.
06:52 He was released on parole, waiting for the sitting judgment.
06:57 During this period, he went abroad to hide.
07:02 The judge asked for the judgment.
07:05 I remember his testimony saying,
07:07 "If my daughters say it, it's true.
07:10 I didn't raise them to be a liar."
07:13 He spent 30 years in prison and had to pay us big fines.
07:19 But since he wasn't there, he didn't pay us anything.
07:22 I needed him to be behind bars
07:26 and not hurt anyone anymore.
07:29 So it was useless.
07:31 My sister managed to get in touch with him via social media.
07:35 I contacted him, I asked him for his name.
07:38 He called me, I asked him why.
07:42 I never got an answer.
07:45 He said he didn't remember.
07:48 I believed in his amnesia for years.
07:52 Now, as an adult, I know that he had the ability to remember what he did
07:59 and that this way of saying, "I forgot," was a way for him to protect himself.
08:05 After this call, we continued to talk.
08:09 I told him about my pregnancy, my baby.
08:13 I said, "Maybe you need to settle things first
08:16 so you don't have to tell your kids everything,
08:19 the weight of this sadness, the resentment, all that."
08:23 Talking to him was already a good start.
08:27 I always needed to have this connection with him.
08:30 To know what he was doing with his life.
08:33 It gave me the ability to feel safe
08:38 and to put my kids in safety.
08:40 I knew where he was, when, and I wasn't there.
08:45 Then, one day, I was told, "You need to come to America.
08:52 Your father had an accident. Maybe he won't wake up tomorrow."
08:56 I was shocked.
08:59 I didn't understand what I was saying.
09:04 I didn't know what to say.
09:08 I had to go.
09:10 If he dies, it will be too late.
09:14 I took a plane ticket and we crossed the world with my husband.
09:21 Once there, we discovered a man who was damaged by time.
09:27 We accompanied him for two or three weeks.
09:30 My sister was there too.
09:33 We took care of him for three weeks.
09:36 We wanted to have this conversation.
09:39 She was as sterile as the one I had on the phone with him.
09:45 He didn't say anything substantial that could help me move forward.
09:52 Today, I was helped to heal.
09:57 With the help of energy therapists.
10:01 I am now a stable person.
10:05 Emotionally.
10:07 It allows me to work on my feminine side.
10:11 What kind of woman I want to be.
10:15 And what I want to give to my daughter.
10:20 As a reference to become a woman.
10:23 How I want to guide her.
10:26 And how I want to guide my son to become a good person.
10:30 It allowed me to open my eyes to my real role as a mother.