It's A Living - S3 E11 Eleven Angry Men and Dot
It's A Living - S3 E11 Eleven Angry Men and Dot
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00:00Life's not the French Riviera Believe me, life's not a charity ball
00:11It isn't all a great big bed of roses It's not like showbiz, but the main thing I suppose is
00:21We are not the people of life Believe me, we know we're doing our part
00:29Okay, we may be less than we'll be But know that we're young and healthy
00:38And anyone who's young and healthy Knows that that's the way
00:45That traffic flows, it's on living
01:00I wish a pal I had, say, one like you Someone within my heart to build a throne
01:22Someone who'd never part to call my own If you were the only girl in town
01:39And I were the only boy
01:48I wish a pal I had, say, one like you Someone within my heart to build a throne
02:03Someone who'd never part to call my own If you were the only girl in town
02:13Sunny, I fear for your soul.
02:17Richie and I were wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner Sunday.
02:20This year? Overbooked, huh?
02:23I got a date every night for the next two weeks. I guess I just can't say no.
02:27Why do you think you're booked for two weeks?
02:30Hi, guys. Hi. How's jury duty?
02:32Oh, it's great. There are 11 guys and me, and one of them is really cute.
02:36A little on the quiet side, but I can fix that.
02:38You're lucky. The last time I was on a jury, the cutest guy in the courtroom was on trial for indecent exposure.
02:43And even he was a little disappointing when we saw the evidence.
02:46How long do you think the trial's gonna last?
02:48Oh, not much longer. The judge is charging us in the morning. We'll probably reach a verdict by tomorrow afternoon.
02:52Oh, that'll be a relief for Nancy. Not being able to punish you for being late, she's developing a nervous tick.
02:57Oh, that's too bad.
03:02I'm late, Nancy.
03:04Yes, I know, Dot.
03:05I'm still on jury duty.
03:06Yes, I know, Dot.
03:07It's been two weeks now.
03:08Yes, I know, Dot.
03:09My, my. Do I detect a note of bitterness here?
03:13If it bothers you that I'm late, you can always complain to the superior court.
03:17Oh, thank you, Dot. But I prefer to handle it my own way.
03:22There's nothing you can do about it.
03:26Well, if you don't want to be here, and I don't want to be here, then what are we doing here?
03:29Why don't you speak up, Harry? I'm not sure everybody in the room heard you.
03:32Hey, if they don't like it, they can go someplace else.
03:35If I'm going to be miserable, everybody's going to be miserable.
03:37Right this way. Your waitress will be Dot.
03:46I don't understand.
03:47Now, before we take a vote, let's review the evidence.
03:49Again? Come on, the guy's guilty.
03:52Just a moment. The man is innocent until proven guilty.
03:55What innocent?
03:56Look, Kensington comes home, and he finds his wife all tied up, and this Lou Jack guy on his way out the window with a $25,000 necklace.
04:04Now they have a struggle. Lou Jack drops the gun and splits.
04:07The police trace the gun back to Lou Jack, and that's it. Case closed.
04:12Absolutely. Let me get to a vote.
04:14Okay, let's try one.
04:15Thank you. I've got a lunch date.
04:17I'm having a thing with my secretary. She hates it when I'm late.
04:21We're all making sacrifices to be here.
04:23But where else in the world does the accused have the opportunity to be judged by a jury of his peers?
04:28England? Canada?
04:29Australia?
04:30New Zealand?
04:31See how it caught on?
04:34Look, just count the votes, okay?
04:37Right. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.
04:42What's your phone number, Curly?
04:45You wrote this, didn't you?
04:47Guilty.
04:48Forget it. You're already fooling around with your secretary. I don't go for this sort of thing.
04:52As a general rule.
04:56Miss Higgins, would you please finish counting the votes?
04:59Right. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Not guilty.
05:06Oh, brother. I knew the broad would be the bleeding heart.
05:10That's not my vote, Smarty.
05:12But I firmly believe that each and every one of us has the right, responsibility, and obligation to vote according to their conscience.
05:19I voted not guilty.
05:21You actually think that bozo is innocent? Give me a break.
05:29Jury duty is a legitimate excuse, but Dot's really beaten Nancy over the head with this.
05:35Yeah, isn't it great?
05:37Nancy's been real patient, but I think she's got something up her sleeve.
05:41I mean, besides the tattoo?
05:45Hold all my calls, Nancy.
05:47Sonny, could I ask you a favor?
05:49Sure. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
05:51Sonny, nobody's scratching anything here. I need someone to accompany me so I can practice my solo.
05:55No sweat. What's the song?
05:56Amazing Grace.
05:57Ooh. An Elvis tune.
06:00Well, that was Dot on the phone. The jury was unable to reach a verdict.
06:04They've been sequestered for the night. Dot won't be back at all.
06:07Well, ain't that a kettle of crawdads?
06:09Exactly my thought.
06:12Okay. From the top.
06:16Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
06:26That saved a wretch like me
06:36I once was lost, oh, but now am found
06:46Was blind, but now I see
06:56Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
07:02That saved a wretch like me
07:05Try it that way.
07:07No, not me. He's not going to turn me into a pillar of salt.
07:12Cassie, pick up.
07:14Jan, are you ready for these two roast beef dinners yet?
07:17Not yet.
07:18Beef is supposed to be aged before you cook it, not after.
07:21All right, all right.
07:22Cassie, do the words pick up mean anything to you?
07:25Not during working hours.
07:26How about the words Howard is angry and has Ginsu knife?
07:29Howard, we're shorthand and we're doing the best we can.
07:31I understand. That is just that your best is not good enough for the last time. Will you pick up?
07:36And why are you busting my chops?
07:37Because you're ignoring mine.
07:42Watch it, chuckles, or I'll tell Nancy the exact location of the place you go to every night for that solitary drink.
07:48Cassie, Cassie, Cassie, do the words I apologize mean anything?
07:53Two swordfish and a New York steak rare. Are these my chops?
07:56They've been abandoned. They're yours by right of salvage.
07:59Amy, I must compliment you on how well you and the other girls are doing without Dot.
08:03Really? Well, thank you, Nancy.
08:05That's the upside. The downside is until Dot returns, you'll have to give up your days off.
08:10It's not Friday. I've got to sing in church on Friday.
08:12Oh, Amy, I wish I cared.
08:16Nancy, this is not working.
08:19Well, Howard, whatever do you mean?
08:20The girls have been knocking themselves out ever since they came in tonight.
08:23All because you're too cheap to hire a temporary waitress.
08:26No, I'm frugal, not cheap. In fact, in certain areas, I can be incredibly generous.
08:30I'll take your word for it.
08:31Don't.
08:32The girls need help, Nancy.
08:34Oh, nonsense. They're getting along very well without Dot tonight.
08:37Now, if we follow that thought through to its logical conclusions, we can get along without Dot every night.
08:41Come on, Nancy. You're not going to fire Dot.
08:43A girl can dream, can't she?
08:45So are you going to hire somebody to help out or not?
08:47No. The trial will be over tomorrow and Dot will be back tomorrow night.
08:50Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Not guilty.
08:55Come on.
08:57I'm with you.
09:09Where do you get not guilty?
09:11Look, I'm sorry.
09:13Don't apologize. This is America. You have the right to be wrong.
09:17You know, you're really lousing up my social life.
09:20Being sequestered narrows your options.
09:23It eliminates them.
09:25Look, I don't mean to be difficult.
09:27It's just that I cannot picture this guy, Lou Jack, doing it.
09:30Okay, we'll just have to go at it again.
09:33Look, imagine that you are Mr. Kensington and...
09:37Wait a minute. We'll act it out. That'll clear up the whole thing.
09:40What?
09:41We'll reenact the crime. We'll use this room as a stage and we can play all the parts.
09:44Great. We'll use Mom's bedspread for the curtain.
09:47This is going to work. Trust me. I'm an actress.
09:50You're the foreman. Stop her.
09:52Look, I'm willing to try anything if it'll get us out of here a little sooner.
09:55With a positive attitude like that, why don't you play the lead, Mr. Kensington?
09:58Now, we'll need somebody to play the very beautiful Mrs. Kensington.
10:01How about you, brown eyes?
10:03No, I've always wanted to direct.
10:05Let's see. The very beautiful Mrs. Kensington.
10:08How about you? You're very beautiful.
10:10Do I have to?
10:12Huh?
10:13Don't worry. I'll work with you.
10:15Just sit over there and I'll get you later.
10:17Okay, now we need a vicious, psychotic robber.
10:20You. You'd make a great Lou Jack.
10:22Hey, kiss off.
10:23That's the character. Don't lose it.
10:25Uh, you two can be policemen standing against the wall and take your chair with you.
10:28And you can be the family dog.
10:30Dog? Come on.
10:31Oh, you're perfect for it. All you have to do is sit in the corner and pant.
10:34Oh, okay.
10:38As long as I get to jump up in your lap, huh?
10:40You do and I'll have you fixed.
10:42Okay, this is the Kensington living room.
10:46Mr. Kensington was out doing the shopping, as it should be.
10:49As Mrs. Kensington testified, she was seated in this chair when Lou Jack burst into the room with a gun in his hand.
10:56Well?
10:57Well, what?
10:58Burst.
10:59Oh.
11:03He tied her up.
11:04Tied her up.
11:06Searched the house.
11:09Found the necklace.
11:10Uh-huh.
11:12I was about to escape when Mr. Kensington came home with the groceries.
11:16I'm afraid I'm not very good at this sort of thing.
11:18Oh, that's no problem. I'll show you.
11:21Hi, honey. I'm home.
11:24What the?
11:25You turn and point the gun at me.
11:26Hi-yah.
11:27The gun slides across the floor. The dog begins to bark.
11:30Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
11:32Lou Jack comes back at you in a blind rage.
11:34You grab his arm like this, twist it behind his back and slam him into the wall.
11:37Oh, ah, lighten up.
11:38During the struggle, the dog is accidentally kicked.
11:40Oh!
11:41It was an accident.
11:42Then, your fish tank is overturned.
11:44Don't! I have to take my pill later.
11:48So much for realism.
11:49All right.
11:50Boom.
11:51The dog is barking, the fish are flopping, gasping for breath.
11:55Okay, Lou Jack gets away and runs out of the house.
11:57But you run after him.
11:59No, don't touch me.
12:00But you can't catch him.
12:01So you rush back to your beautiful wife.
12:03Darling, I'm back.
12:04You kiss her.
12:07You kiss her again.
12:10You decide not to untie her.
12:12Oh, no, that's wrong.
12:14Anyways, you call the police.
12:1735 minutes later, they arrive.
12:20Oh, thank goodness you're here.
12:22A $25,000 necklace has been stolen.
12:25But that's not important.
12:26My wife, my dog, and my fish are still alive.
12:30But wait, what's this?
12:32The thief has left his gun.
12:36That could be important evidence that would lead to a quick conviction.
12:41Gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case.
12:44Quick, let's take another vote before she puts on Nicholas Nickleby.
12:47All right.
12:48All those for guilty?
12:51Okay.
12:52And it's unanimous.
12:54I'm afraid not.
12:55As an actress, that scene didn't ring true.
12:57What are you talking about?
12:58I just didn't believe my motivation and the rest of you were utterly unconvincing.
13:02So?
13:03I'm sorry, guys, not guilty.
13:04Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
13:06This is too much.
13:09Some men would like to do a tribute to plain people in drab jobs.
13:14Like the three little gals who are working so hard to serve you.
13:18They're short-handed tonight, but you won't hear them complain.
13:22Unless you go in the kitchen.
13:23So to Jan, Cassie, and Amy, this one's for you.
13:26They're all 16 tons, and what do they get?
13:30And all the day, you're all around deeper in debt.
13:35When Gabriel calls them, they can't stay dead.
13:38Cause they owe their soul to the lady in red.
13:48That was Paul McGreedy on the phone.
13:50Oh?
13:51That's the second time today, isn't it?
13:52That's the second time I've talked to a McGreedy.
13:54It's the first time I've talked to Paul.
13:56This isn't going to be pretty, is it?
13:58I made a big mistake.
14:00I accidentally started dating twins and they don't know.
14:02Accidentally, Cassie?
14:04It's a long, boring story.
14:05Not so far.
14:07Paul went out of town.
14:09I went to this party.
14:10I met Peter.
14:11So when Peter asked me out, well, they are identical.
14:14Next to you, even my fantasy life is sheltered.
14:18I know I gotta stop seeing one of them, but which one?
14:21What difference does it make?
14:27Thank you.
14:28Sunny, Nancy said I could sing in church tomorrow night,
14:31and I was wondering if you'd come along and play the piano.
14:33Me? In church?
14:34Oh, you'll only be gone about an hour.
14:36What happened to the regular accompanist?
14:38Poor lost soul.
14:39She won the state lottery and says she doesn't need God anymore.
14:43Listen, Amy, I can't go to church,
14:45not after all the bad things I've done.
14:47The only reason I haven't been struck by lightning
14:49is that God's trying to think up something worse.
14:51Sunny, it's never too late to mend your ways.
14:53Amy, I've broken every commandment there is
14:55except thou shalt not kill thy mother and father.
14:58Sunny, that's not a commandment.
15:00Oh, great, I've broken them all.
15:02Look, I can't go to church.
15:04It's the first place he'd look for me.
15:06Sunny, God forgives.
15:08He's famous for that.
15:09Really?
15:10Really.
15:11Friday night, huh?
15:13Wouldn't lie to me about God, would you?
15:15No, Sunny, the Lord loves all his little lost lambs.
15:19Let's just hope he doesn't love them with mint jelly.
15:24We have a reservation, party of 13 from the Superior Court.
15:27Oh, yes, yes, come right in.
15:29Well, Dot, just like old times.
15:31Except I'm not a waitress.
15:32Exactly.
15:34Hiya, Dot. How's it going?
15:36Oh, sorry, Jan, I'm not allowed to discuss the case.
15:38I know that. I'm in law school.
15:40When I said, how's it going, I didn't mean, how's it going.
15:42I meant, how's it going?
15:44Oh, well, it's going okay, if you get my meaning.
15:49Oh, it's gorgeous.
15:51Unfortunately, it has the personality of a house plant.
15:55Hi, Cassie.
15:56Hi, Dot.
15:58Oh, great.
15:59I've got to take orders from 12 people
16:01who haven't been able to make up their minds for two days.
16:04Okay, guys.
16:06Specials tonight are veal piccata,
16:08coq au vin, and grilled rainbow trout.
16:10Is the fish fresh?
16:12Last time I was in the kitchen, it was still flopping.
16:14I got it, the fish.
16:15Okay, one fish. Anybody else decided?
16:17No, I mean, I know how the crime was really committed.
16:19Shh.
16:20Quiet.
16:21Shh.
16:22Shh.
16:23Quiet.
16:24Shh.
16:25Anybody else want fish?
16:39Oh.
16:41My head is pounding, my back is aching,
16:43and my feet envy every other part of my body.
16:46Dot, I'm tired of being forced into dresses
16:49that don't let you breathe,
16:50shoes that don't let you walk,
16:51just so men will think you look good.
16:53Ooh, that's a pretty color lipstick. Can I try it?
16:58Have you decided what you're going to do about the Magritte twins?
17:00I'm going to go out with Peter
17:02and tell Paul he's been dating my twin sister.
17:04Whose name is also Cassie.
17:06It's my mother's favorite name.
17:08Don't give me such a hard time about this, Jan.
17:10I like these boys.
17:12If I play my cards right, they won't find out.
17:14This is terrific.
17:15It's just like having dynasty right here at work.
17:18It's for you.
17:20Hello.
17:22Hello, Peter.
17:24Can't make it?
17:26Oh, you talked to Paul.
17:28Well, I can explain that.
17:31Yes, Peter just told me.
17:33Well, I can explain that.
17:34She'll never get out of this one.
17:36The only reason I started to go out with Peter
17:38is because he reminds me of you.
17:40It's your fault, not mine.
17:42If you weren't so attractive,
17:44I never would have given him a second glance.
17:46Boy, she's good.
17:48What?
17:49Sure, put him on.
17:51Peter, the only reason I started going out with Paul
17:54is because he reminds me of you.
17:56It's your fault, not mine.
18:00Of course I forgive you.
18:02What?
18:03Tell Paul I forgive him, too.
18:07No, I'm sorry.
18:08I got plans Saturday night.
18:10Maybe you'll switch with you.
18:13Well, you guys talk it over and surprise me.
18:16Cassie.
18:19Wow.
18:20Cassie, you're unbelievable.
18:22Well, I really can't take the credit.
18:24It's kind of a natural gift.
18:33So I guess you all are dying to know
18:34what it was that I discovered at dinner last night.
18:36Well, I'm certainly all a twiddup.
18:38You remember when we acted out the crime?
18:40This isn't gonna be an encore, is it?
18:41Look, we know that Mrs. Kensington was tied up here.
18:44Lou Jack got the necklace and was about to escape
18:46when Mr. Kensington surprised him.
18:48There was a struggle.
18:49Lou Jack lost the gun.
18:50The fish tank was overturned and the doll was kicked.
18:52Hard.
18:53Well, don't you get it?
18:55Get what?
18:56The fish tank was overturned
18:58and the police didn't arrive until 35 minutes later
19:00and the fish were still alive?
19:02No goldfish could stay alive that long out of water.
19:05Exactly.
19:07There was no struggle.
19:08There was no robbery.
19:09Lou Jack was never there that night.
19:11Then who stole the necklace?
19:12Kensington.
19:13He staged the whole thing.
19:15He trashed the room to make it look like a struggle had taken place
19:18and he called the police.
19:19But he made one mistake.
19:21Just before the police arrived, he added one finishing touch.
19:23He knocked over the fish tank.
19:25Why would he steal his own necklace?
19:27For the insurance.
19:28Absolutely.
19:29So what about the gun?
19:31What am I, Columbo?
19:33All you have to do is establish reasonable doubt.
19:37She's right.
19:38Are those voting not guilty?
19:41All right!
19:45Why don't we all split up in twos and celebrate?
19:54Hey, where's our food?
19:56Sorry, ma'am, that's not my station.
19:58Your waitress is Nancy.
20:04Well, Nancy, still think you can make it without Dot?
20:07Why did I let Amy off the same church?
20:09Maybe it was a desperate backhand stab at saving your soul.
20:12Howard was right. I brought this on myself.
20:14I am too cheap to hire temporary help.
20:16He's so insightful.
20:18I ordered nam chops, not pork chops.
20:21I'm sorry.
20:22Dot! Dot, you're back.
20:24Tell me jury duty is over.
20:26Tell me there aren't 11 people behind you.
20:28It's over, Nancy.
20:29Oh, bless you, my child.
20:31Welcome home.
20:32Why, Nancy, you're really glad to see me.
20:34Ecstatic.
20:35Here, take this in the kitchen.
20:36The woman at table six ordered lamb chops, not pork chops.
20:39This time, get it right.
20:42Hey, Dot, welcome back.
20:43Hey, honey.
20:44Hi.
20:46Hey, how'd it go at church?
20:47It was embarrassing.
20:48I loved it.
20:50They forgave all my sins.
20:51I walked out of there with a clean slate.
20:53Yeah, what about when you tried to pick up the minister's wife?
20:56Okay, one smudge.
20:57Then he tried to pass his tip snifter through the congregation.
21:01Well, those guys in the aisles passed the plate.
21:03They tipped the ushers.
21:04They can tip the musicians.