IT'S A LIVING Season 3 Episode 6 Jan's Engagement
IT'S A LIVING Season 3 Episode 6 Jan's Engagement
Transcript
00:00Life's not the French Riviera, believe me Life's not a charity bar
00:11It isn't all a great big bed of roses It's not like showbiz, but the main thing
00:20We're not supposed to be outnumbered, believe me We know we're doing our part
00:29Okay, we may be less than wealthy But not that we're young and healthy
00:38And anyone who's young and healthy knows that that's a waste
00:46The traffic flows, it's unbearable
01:16Howard, isn't it a little smoky in here tonight?
01:26What makes you say that?
01:28Oh, I don't know. Smoke?
01:30Nancy's supposed to call somebody to fix the exhaust fan.
01:34So how'd your date go last night?
01:36Talk fast, I gotta get a salad to table 5.
01:38You want me to give you the most intimate details of my life in 30 seconds?
01:42Okay, if the details are intimate enough, table 5 can wait.
01:45Who is the kind of guy that makes you want to give up dating?
01:48Bozo. Bozo's dumber brother.
01:50Boy, I've had a streak of losers lately.
01:52Thinking of not playing the game anymore.
01:54I retired once. What brought you back?
01:56Popular demand.
02:00Jen, I believe one of your customers is growing impatient with the slow service.
02:04He just stole a roll from the next table.
02:08Nancy, I need you.
02:10Those are the magic words, Howard.
02:12There's smoke.
02:13There could be fire.
02:15In the kitchen, there's smoke. I ask you to call somebody about the fan?
02:18I know, but sometimes when I talk to you, I just get...
02:21Stupid.
02:23Why does that sound sexy when you say it?
02:25Nancy, get the fan fixed. You're lucky I haven't passed out.
02:28If you did, I'd give you mouth to mouth.
02:33You're luckier than you thought.
02:36Cassie, I need your advice on something, and I don't want Nancy to know.
02:40That's gonna be a tough one, considering how close Nancy and I are.
02:44What's up?
02:45Well, there's this woman who usually spends the weekends with me at my place,
02:48and she wants to go someplace this weekend, and I don't know where to go.
02:52I knew it.
02:54The quiet ones, right?
02:56You're not dragging yourself around here because you're moody.
02:58You're tired.
03:00Exhausted.
03:02I asked Amy. She suggested we spend the weekend at SeaWorld, but I don't know.
03:07Why don't you go to San Francisco?
03:09Well, there's a lot of things to do in San Francisco.
03:11I hate doing things.
03:15Well, I'll have to give it some thought.
03:17Okay, but not a word to Nancy. It'd kill her.
03:20You'll have to give me a better reason than that.
03:25Dot. Dot.
03:27I want to go to the rodeo tomorrow night,
03:29because my friend from back home, he's gonna be bull riding.
03:31How should I handle this with Nancy?
03:33Lie.
03:35If you lie to others, you'll lie to yourself.
03:37It's amoral, and it's a sin.
03:39Then pretending to take off for religious holidays is probably out.
03:43How about, my grandfather died? It's kind of a personal favorite.
03:47That's a terrible thing to say.
03:49Besides, Grandpa Hank's healthy as a horse,
03:51and my Grandpa Joe died five years ago.
03:54Say that last part again. Slowly.
03:57My Grandpa Joe died.
03:59No more calls. We have a winner.
04:01You said it. My Grandpa Joe died.
04:03Just say that to Nancy. I promise, this will work.
04:05Nancy never believes your excuses.
04:07Yeah, but you have the element of surprise going for you.
04:13Do you really mean it? No more dating?
04:15What am I missing? How about sex?
04:17I'd love to, dear, but I'm afraid it might kill me.
04:20Thanks for asking, though.
04:27Sonny, what are you doing? Nancy's been looking for you.
04:29Lenny died.
04:30Oh, Sonny, I'm sorry.
04:31Thanks.
04:32Would you like to talk about it?
04:34Sometimes remembering the good times you had with someone really helps.
04:37Lenny was my car.
04:39Maybe a special lube job that stands out?
04:43He was a classic.
04:45I had Lenny LeMond since 1972.
04:48Oh, the things we did together.
04:50The things he saw.
04:52That's probably what killed him.
04:57Little GTO
05:02You're really looking fine
05:08Three deuces and a four speed
05:16And a three eighty nine
05:37That is one good looking guy.
05:40Not interested.
05:41I think he's interested in you.
05:43How do you know he's not looking over here at you?
05:46He's that good looking?
05:50Still not interested?
05:51Oh, this estimate seems high.
05:53I would think you could just fix the fan that's already there.
05:55There's too much hot air.
05:57I beg your pardon?
05:58He says there's too much hot air.
05:59Listen to the man, he's an expert.
06:01To do the job right, you're going to have to replace all the duct work and put in a bigger fan.
06:06You probably won't be able to use your broiler for about three days.
06:09I don't think we have any choice.
06:11Well, alright.
06:12Ladies, for the next three days we won't be able to serve any steaks or chops.
06:16Now a good waitress should have no trouble steering the customer to the proper selection.
06:20Dot, I have no idea what you're going to do.
06:31Your daughter is zucchini.
06:33Some parts of the world they'll shoot a man for saying that.
06:36Well, she was zucchini.
06:38In the school health pageant.
06:40My son was in it, I saw you there.
06:42Really?
06:43Which vegetable were you related to?
06:46Dill.
06:47What?
06:48Dill.
06:49Charlie played dill.
06:50Don't make fun here.
06:51It's an important herb.
06:52You can't make pickles without it.
06:53Hey, zucchini wouldn't make fun of anybody.
06:56I'm Richie.
06:57Richie Gray.
06:59Jan Hoffmeyer.
07:00Hoffmeyer?
07:01Get out of here.
07:02Why would I kid about a thing like Hoffmeyer?
07:04Well, it doesn't fit.
07:06Hoffmeyer says fat fingers and a straw hat behind a meat counter.
07:11You are anything but.
07:14I'm not crazy about it myself, but it's Hoffmeyer by marriage.
07:18That's what I was afraid of.
07:20Ex-marriage, actually.
07:21That's what I was hoping for.
07:23Well, if you don't like it, why don't you change it back to your maiden name?
07:25Well, my zucchini's name is Hoffmeyer.
07:27I couldn't leave her alone with that.
07:29That's nice.
07:31Loyalty, skinny fingers.
07:33Admirable qualities in a woman.
07:36Do you think we could have dinner some night?
07:40I don't think so.
07:42Lunch?
07:43Lunch, either.
07:44A snack?
07:45Crackers from the vending machine downstairs.
07:48I think we could get along.
07:50Look, I think you're a very nice guy, and I want to continue thinking you're a very nice guy,
07:53but in order for you to stay a very nice guy, we can't go out.
07:58Well, you can't argue with logic like that.
08:01You can laugh at it, but you can't argue with it.
08:05You can't argue with it.
08:36I'll show him that a Cadillac is not a car to scorn.
08:43Beep, beep. Beep, beep.
08:46His horn went beep, beep, beep.
08:49You beep that thing once more and I'll straighten your hair.
08:52I do not want to hear one more car song.
08:57Nancy, I have a way to make Sonny forget about his car.
09:00I'm going to introduce him to that blonde at the bar.
09:03Why on earth would a woman like that be interested in Sonny?
09:06She's a car salesman.
09:08That's a wonderful idea, Doc.
09:10Who helped you with it?
09:16Cassie, are you having trouble with the people who want steak?
09:19No, I just tell them they don't want steak, they want roast beef.
09:22Watch this.
09:23Have you decided yet?
09:25I'll have a steak.
09:27Well, the steak is good tonight, but the roast beef...
09:30The roast beef is so tender and juicy.
09:33Actually, it's succulent.
09:35How about the roast beef?
09:37Yes, please.
09:42Just have to explain it to him.
09:47Does anyone know where Amy is?
09:49Her grandfather died at the rodeo.
09:51Oh, gotcha.
10:01Give me another roast beef.
10:03I don't know what you're doing out there,
10:05but you're selling too much roast beef.
10:07Can't you push the fish?
10:09It's hard to make fish sound sexy.
10:11Yeah, I know.
10:13That's why I don't want to go to SeaWorld.
10:15Sounds to me like you'd rather spend the weekend at home.
10:18Well, I would, but she wants to go someplace
10:20so she doesn't have to do my laundry.
10:22I don't want to go to SeaWorld.
10:24I don't want to go to SeaWorld.
10:26I don't want to go to SeaWorld.
10:28I want to go someplace so she doesn't have to do my laundry.
10:30She wants to sip champagne and watch the ocean
10:32and hear violins.
10:34I want to drink beer, rent a movie, and play
10:36Chase Me, Chase Me.
10:38So what are you going to do?
10:40I don't know. I think I'll dump her.
10:42She never got the whites really white anyway.
10:54Hoffmeyer, you got me confused.
10:56You won't go out with me because I'm a sheet metal worker?
10:58You're not one of those women
11:00holding out for a professional man, are you?
11:02I'm not holding out for any man.
11:04B.O.?
11:06What?
11:08B.O. Bitter and over 30.
11:12You know, most of the women I go out with,
11:14single, over 30, they think all men are jerks
11:16just because they haven't found the right one yet.
11:18With a theory like that, you sound a little bit like a jerk.
11:20You're right.
11:22And you are nothing like the other women I've met.
11:24What do you say?
11:26Can't we just have dinner together?
11:28I'll think about it. Okay?
11:30Okay.
11:36Sonny, I want you to meet a friend of mine.
11:38I think Terry can help you forget about Lenny.
11:40Oh, yeah?
11:42Does Terry ride like a dream?
11:44Does he have wire wheels?
11:46Does he have a rear defroster?
11:48Nothing can make me forget Lenny.
11:50This is Terry. She sells cars.
11:52Lenny was a pig.
11:54Lenny got 12 miles to a gallon.
11:56I need a new car.
11:58Beat it, Dad.
12:00I think I can help you.
12:02I think you're right.
12:04What are you looking for?
12:08Have you decided yet?
12:10Oh, I'll have the steak, please.
12:12You know,
12:14steak is good, but the roast beef,
12:16va-va-voom,
12:18is tender.
12:20It's juicy.
12:22It's hot.
12:24It's ready.
12:26How about it, big boy?
12:28Fine. You have the roast beef. I'll take the steak.
12:36Well, did Richie ask you out again?
12:38Yes. And?
12:40And why are you so interested?
12:42Because he's a great guy and he's cute
12:44and I'm tired of being patient
12:46and if you're crazy enough not to go out with him, I will.
12:48I guess I'm just afraid of being disappointed again.
12:50Jean, I'm telling you, if you don't go out with this guy,
12:52you're a jerk.
12:54Well, he is very nice.
12:56He's pretty cute.
12:58Isn't he?
13:00Very cute.
13:02Guess it's dinner with very cute.
13:12I like that.
13:14Another piece of cheesecake?
13:16It was delicious, but I can't.
13:18Oh, come on. Just a sliver.
13:20That's how those Hoffmeyers got those fat fingers.
13:22Forget it.
13:24I like these fingers just the way they are.
13:38I had a great time tonight.
13:40Me too. Dinner was wonderful.
13:42You were wonderful.
13:44This place is wonderful.
13:48I can't believe that you do this incredible artwork
13:50without anybody even knowing about it.
13:52No, some people know about it.
13:54You know about it.
13:56I should think you'd want to do this all the time
13:58instead of your regular work.
14:00No, no, no. If I did this all the time, it'd make me crazy.
14:02Besides, I like my work.
14:04It's structured.
14:06You know, I think that's what I miss most about marriage.
14:08The structure.
14:10The family.
14:12What do you miss?
14:14The donuts.
14:16Every Sunday morning, Lloyd used to bring home fresh donuts.
14:18We'd sit and read the paper.
14:20Two jelly, two Bavarian cream, and a French twist.
14:22I'd be a happy girl all day.
14:24You'd look good in donuts.
14:34You do that very well.
14:36Thank you. Do you know what I'd like to do now?
14:38I think so.
14:40I'd like to go home.
14:42Okay. I was wrong.
14:44I mean, I have to pick up my son Charlie.
14:46I promised to spend the weekend with him.
14:48I don't want to be late.
14:50Okay.
14:52Well, I don't want to be too late.
14:54Okay.
15:10Well, kiddo, how was the rodeo?
15:12It was a hooter.
15:14A hooter?
15:16How was it for those of us who grew up in America?
15:18It was just wonderful.
15:20It was amazing.
15:22Ladies, oh, Amy,
15:24I was sorry to hear about your grandfather.
15:26Oh, well, thank you.
15:28Well, I'd like to see all of you on the floor
15:30as soon as possible.
15:32What about the rodeo?
15:34Oh, y'all, it was so exciting.
15:36You know my friend Billy Bob?
15:38He actually won the bull riding.
15:40Oh, it was just great.
15:42There must have been, I don't know,
15:4410,000 people there,
15:46and they were screaming and yelling,
15:48and he was waving his hands and kicking his legs.
15:51What else could we do?
15:56All those people had come for the funeral.
15:58What a terrible story.
16:00Oh, Nancy, my grandfather didn't really die.
16:02Oh, go on.
16:04I lied,
16:06and I shouldn't have.
16:08I'm sorry.
16:10Sorry doesn't cut it, cookie.
16:12Hi.
16:14Jan, you're late.
16:16I was lighting a candle for Amy's grandfather.
16:18The candle worked.
16:20I guess I got it lit just in time.
16:22Do you know what's going to happen
16:24to all of you if you keep lying to me?
16:26Our noses will grow.
16:28So will the unemployment line
16:30if you're not on the floor in two minutes.
16:34All right, Jan, details.
16:36Cassie,
16:38the man is an artist.
16:40Oh. No, he's an artist.
16:42Oh.
16:44He's a wonderful guy, and we had a terrific time
16:46at dinner, and after dinner,
16:48I went with him to pick up his son, Charlie,
16:50and then we came back to my house, and we picked up Ellen,
16:52and we all went out for ice cream,
16:54and he's cute, and he's charming, and he's funny,
16:56and I think I'm in love.
16:58I knew it.
17:00I knew it the moment I saw him look at you.
17:02I said, chemistry.
17:04Really?
17:06Oh, in school, I was always great at chemistry.
17:08It's still one of my better subjects.
17:10It's true.
17:12The first time I saw him, I felt a little something.
17:14Oh.
17:20Hi.
17:22Hi.
17:24Hi.
17:28I had a really nice time last night.
17:30Good. I'm glad you did. It was fun.
17:32I want you all out here now.
17:34Right now?
17:36Right now.
17:40Would you like to have dinner at my house next Sunday?
17:42No. No.
17:44No. No. No.
17:46No!
17:50Hey, Cassie.
17:52What would it take to get you to go for a spin on my new car?
17:54A lobotomy.
17:56Okay, I'll do it.
18:00Jan.
18:02What'd he say? He said no.
18:04What did you say? I said no.
18:06What'd he say? I don't know. Nancy made me come out here.
18:08Well, hurry up and take an order.
18:10I have. How about the special? What is it?
18:12It's great. You'll like it.
18:16Howard, I need two specials. There's no special.
18:18Howard, please. I'll owe you my life. Make one up.
18:20I need two of them. It better be worth it.
18:26Why don't you want to have dinner with me next Sunday?
18:28I want to get married.
18:30To who? To you.
18:32I know it sounds crazy,
18:34but I've never felt so relaxed with a woman in my entire life.
18:36And I know we have something special.
18:38And I know it can work.
18:40Pick up two specials.
18:42Just a minute.
18:44I kill myself coming up with two specials, you tell me just a minute?
18:46Plain roast beef?
18:48What's so special?
18:50It's roast beef Polynesian.
19:00This looks delicious. What did he say?
19:02He said he wants to get married.
19:04What did you say? Plain roast beef?
19:06The three little words every man wants to hear.
19:08I didn't know what to say.
19:10What did he say?
19:12I don't know. Howard made me bring the order out.
19:14You don't fall in love very well, do you?
19:18Here, this is all wrong. Take it back.
19:24They sent these back.
19:26What's wrong with them?
19:28I have no idea. There you go.
19:30Thank you very much.
19:32Do you know who does this sort of thing?
19:34Gets married after one date?
19:36Those weird looking couples that don't do well on the newlywed game.
19:38I want to marry you, Jan.
19:42Jan, I need you.
19:44Richie,
19:46I just don't know what to say.
19:48Don't say anything. Get up here.
19:50I need you.
19:52How's that?
19:54Better.
19:56What do you say?
19:58You do nice work.
20:00What, are you waiting for me to get down on my knees?
20:02I bet the duct will fall.
20:04Jan, what's the problem?
20:06The problem is that there are probably a million reasons
20:08why this just doesn't make any sense,
20:10but for some reason,
20:12I don't care about them.
20:14Is that your version of a yes?
20:16Yes. I'll marry you.
20:22Isn't that sweet?
20:24Sure is.
20:26Think how much fun they'll have when they can use their hands.
20:28Think how poor they'll be when I fire them both.
20:32Ha, ha, ha.
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