Frasier Season 9 Episode 6 Room Full Of Heroes
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00:00Look at you! You look just... like him.
00:08Oh Daphne, come on.
00:12The theme this evening is to come dressed as your hero.
00:19Fidel Castro!
00:23Sigmund Freud!
00:26Daphne, don't you think that ball is a little bit small for a whole night of trick-or-treaters?
00:31Oh, I don't think so. The children in the building are too scared to ring our bell.
00:35Why is that?
00:37They're afraid of Old Man Crane.
00:42Poor Dad.
00:44It's not him, Dr. Crane. It's you.
00:48What? I'm Old Man Crane?
00:51Good Lord, I have tousled every young head in this building from the laundry room to the rooftop.
00:57Yeah, apparently that's how it started.
00:59They think you're feeling to see if their brains arrive.
01:04How do you know all this?
01:06They have a whole rhyme about you.
01:08Old Man Crane, Old Man Crane, make him mad and he'll eat your brain.
01:15That's absurd.
01:18How do children get such crazy ideas?
01:23Hey, hey, keep it down, will you?
01:27We're just playing.
01:29I know, but you know how Old Man Crane gets?
01:34Especially on Halloween, or as he calls it, harvest time.
01:44Hey, Fridge?
01:50Hello.
01:53Baseball man.
01:56Oh, come on, Joe DiMaggio.
02:00You know who he is, don't you?
02:02Well, of course. Joe DiMaggio was married to Marilyn Monroe.
02:06Oh, I see.
02:08And Joe DiMaggio.
02:10You know who he is, don't you?
02:12Well, of course. Joe DiMaggio was married to Marilyn Monroe.
02:15He was also married to Arthur Miller, the playwright who wrote Death of a Salesman,
02:20The Crucible, A View from the Bridge.
02:22You see, Dad, I know a lot more about baseball than you think.
02:25How does this party game of yours work?
02:28Does it like charades? Because I don't like charades.
02:31Oh, no. No, Dad. It's actually much better.
02:34I have devised some questions that we will answer as our heroes.
02:39What better way to learn about each other than to explore the personalities of those who most inspire us?
02:45Couldn't we just play charades?
02:49You know, if this evening goes really well, I may consider marketing my little invention.
02:57It's a welcome change from those tiresome theme parties when someone gets murdered.
03:01Yeah, it could still happen.
03:10Hello?
03:11You?
03:13What happens?
03:14Shouldn't you be on your way by now?
03:18Well, yes, of course, we'll be playing my little game.
03:22Oh, you don't sound sick.
03:26Oh, now I hear it.
03:28Oh. All right, feel better.
03:31Isn't that like your eighth cancellation?
03:33Yes. There must be something going around at the office.
03:42Hi!
03:44Hey, it's Joe DiMaggio.
03:47Hey, ma'am.
03:50I see you've brought a little puppy.
03:53Yes. We've been trick-or-treating all afternoon, and she's exhausted.
03:58Gee, is that strange? You know, the children in our building haven't even started trick-or-treating.
04:02Are you kidding? I just rode up the elevator with five Britney Spears and a sweaty Harry Potter.
04:09I'm gonna go put her down in your room. Can I change there?
04:13Well, as you know, Ross, change can only occur after years of hard work or analysis.
04:21It's gonna be a hell of a party.
04:29What the heck are you supposed to be?
04:33Reginald Dwight. You may know me as Sir Elton John.
04:39Debbie, I must say, I hardly think of Elton John as an heroic figure.
04:44Yes, he is. He's been a great musician for over 30 years.
04:48There's also his charity work and his knighthood.
04:52Well, I must say, I never thought of it that way.
04:55Which is exactly the point of this evening. Thank you for putting so much thought into your costume,
04:59rather than just throwing on something frivolous.
05:03Ta-da!
05:08Wow, Ross, you look great!
05:14Oh, Ross, are you serious?
05:17What?
05:19Your hero is Wonder Woman? You're supposed to come dressed as the person you most admire,
05:24whom you most wish to emulate. I'm not even sure you can do that to the flag.
05:32I'm sorry. When you said hero, I thought you meant superhero.
05:37Yes, and when you saw me dressed in a beard with a cigar, what superhero did you think I was?
05:45That butler who cooked for Batman?
05:51Speaking of which, could you help me bring out some cheese, Wonder Woman?
05:56I'd be glad to, Elton John.
06:01Hello?
06:04Kenny!
06:07Gosh, don't you think you should have left by now?
06:11Well, actually, you know, there have been a few cancellations,
06:15so that will allow us to delve even deeper into our psyches.
06:19Really, what kind of sick?
06:23Oh, gosh, that sounds horrible.
06:28Yes, all right, well, um, take care.
06:32You know, we might be wise to take some echinacea.
06:45Somebody get me a beer!
06:50Niles, what in the world?
06:54Well, you said dress as your hero. Hello, Dad.
07:02Holy moly, Niles, this is unbelievable!
07:07You like it?
07:10Oh, I love it!
07:14You said to come as your hero, not as the handsomest man in the world!
07:26Niles, I thought you were going to come as Carl Jung.
07:29Oh, I changed my mind.
07:31But the idea of this evening is to come as a classic hero,
07:34someone who truly inspires you. No offense, Dad.
07:38You know, someone of truly unquestioned greatness.
07:41Again, no offense, Dad.
07:44Blow it out your whistle. No offense.
07:48Oh, my goodness!
07:51Oh, isn't that the cutest thing?
07:54What the heck are you supposed to be?
07:57That's exactly what I said!
08:03Well, I guess we have a full complement,
08:07may as well get on to the main event.
08:09Wonder Woman, Elton John, Martin Crane, Joe DiMaggio,
08:13I think you all know each other. Why don't you have a seat,
08:16and we will proceed to a night of frivolity and enlightenment.
08:20Oh, Joe, I insist you take my chair.
08:24Thanks, Marty.
08:27All right, then, let's dive into the question bowl.
08:32Now, remember, our job is to answer these questions
08:36as the people we honor tonight.
08:39Well, what if I'm someone who just wants to watch TV? Can I do that?
08:42Yeah, I can.
08:45Very amusing.
08:48Oh, yes, yes, I took the liberty of jotting down
08:51a few reminders and regulations for your edification.
08:55There you are. Oh, Marty.
08:58Oh, Niles, you don't really have to drink there.
09:01Oh, well, I'm already wearing black shoes with white socks,
09:04so...
09:10All right. Question number one.
09:13The inaugural question in the first game ever
09:18of Hero Worship. Copyright, Fraser Crane.
09:21Boilerplate, boilerplate.
09:26As your hero,
09:30please share your reaction to the Human Genome Project,
09:34not only as a scientific venture,
09:37but as a regulatory challenge to governments,
09:40foreign and domestic.
09:43No. Are you insane?
09:46All right, all right, maybe we'll just save that for the lightning round.
09:50Well...
09:54As your hero,
09:59describe the most significant relationship in your life.
10:04Oh, all right, fine.
10:07I'll tell you what, I'll go first.
10:14So it is common
10:17for a parent to deeply impact
10:21the life of her child.
10:24Consider the exponential power
10:27that parent wields
10:30when she loves one of the children above the rest,
10:34singling him out as
10:37my golden Siggy
10:40and referring to...
10:43Boring!
10:47Really, Fraser Mother Freud, we get it.
10:51All right, very well. Now, in the first of many wrinkles,
10:55the game will proceed counterclockwise.
10:58Joe.
11:01All right.
11:04Well, even though I had a big family,
11:07I'd have to say that my most important relationship
11:10was probably with Marilyn Monroe.
11:14Although I might have been married before that, I'm not sure.
11:20I wrote a song about Marilyn Monroe.
11:24Candle in the Wind.
11:32Yes, that's very good.
11:37Can't believe I'm saying this, but...
11:41Wonder Woman, you are next.
11:46Okay, my greatest relationship
11:50was with my alter ego,
11:53who was a nurse in the army, and her name was Diana Prince.
11:57Hey! I wrote a song about Princess Diana.
12:04And it was the same song I wrote about Marilyn Monroe.
12:10That's weird. Really weird.
12:13You would never think that two such disparate characters
12:17across half a century of time could be connected like that.
12:20That's because I'm not connected!
12:25The song was written about Princess Diana, not Diana Prince.
12:29Still, it's a pretty odd coincidence.
12:32It's not a coincidence at all!
12:34It's just two names that barely sounded like one of them
12:37almost in reverse order!
12:40Now if we could just return to my game.
12:43It says right here that one of the objectives is lively conversation.
12:47Which is what we're having!
12:49I think I know what my game's objectives are,
12:51and they do not include this nascent migraine!
12:57All right. Martin Craig.
13:01Why don't you tell us about your most significant relationship?
13:08All righty.
13:10In 1952, I met a woman named Hester Palmer.
13:16And even though she's been gone 14 years,
13:20she was not only the greatest relationship in my life,
13:24but also the greatest blessing.
13:28I miss her every day.
13:31You're a good boy, Niles.
13:34Aww.
13:39Niles, can I see you in the kitchen?
13:46Did Niles finally get here? Where is that boy genius?
13:50It's okay!
13:52Dad! Can I see you in the kitchen, please?
13:55Why is he looking at me? I'm not Freud's dad!
13:58Martin Craig!
14:01Hey.
14:06It doesn't take Freud to see what's going on here.
14:09What are you talking about?
14:11Oh, your little ploy is working out brilliantly, isn't it?
14:13Not only have you stolen my thunder as host,
14:16you've also won the approval you so desperately crave from Dad.
14:19This is not about craving approval.
14:21This is about honoring someone I respect and admire.
14:25The fact that you're threatened by it speaks volumes about your insecurity.
14:28Don't you turn this on me!
14:30I am perfectly comfortable in my relationship with Dad.
14:33Then you should be glad that he's having fun,
14:36which rarely happens at your parties.
14:40Or mine.
14:44So, why don't we both take pride in that and just be happy for him?
14:48Or as Dad would say,
14:50chuck your big bazoo and stop thinking so much.
14:54Oh, let's play Scattergories.
14:56Oh, do you have one of those murder mystery games?
14:58So that's it, then?
15:00The party's over?
15:02What are you talking about? We're just getting started.
15:04But you're not playing my game. This is chaos.
15:06We're just five people in costumes drinking.
15:08Amen!
15:11Here, Ross.
15:13Would you take a picture of Marty Crane with his hero Joe DiMaggio?
15:19I'll make a great Christmas card.
15:22Yeah, good idea, Dad.
15:24You've already ruined Halloween. Why not ruin Christmas, too?
15:27Oh, Frasier, come on, relax. We're just having fun.
15:30Hey, have a beer. It really takes the edge off.
15:34Yeah, don't be a spoilsport.
15:37Spoilsport?
15:39I haven't spoiled anything.
15:41I'm not the bad guy here.
15:43Hey, that's mine!
15:47Did that boy just steal your candy?
15:49Yeah.
15:53Tell me his name. I'll go speak with him.
15:55Yeah, sure.
15:57What's his name?
15:59I don't know.
16:01What's his name?
16:03I don't know.
16:05What's his name?
16:07I don't know.
16:09What's his name?
16:11Tell me his name. I'll go speak to his parents for you.
16:14His parents are my parents.
16:16He's my brother.
16:23It isn't easy having a brother, is it?
16:26No.
16:28They can be selfish and thoughtless.
16:31And butt-faces.
16:33Butt-faces, yes.
16:35And butt-faces, too.
16:42But you know...
16:45what might put things right?
16:49What?
16:52The smallest...
16:54pinch...
16:56of fiberglass in his bed.
17:02It'll get under his skin. It'll itch for days with no clue how it got there.
17:06You seen those spare rolls of insulation they keep in the basement?
17:10That sounds pretty mean.
17:13He stole your candy, didn't he?
17:17And embarrassed you in front of your friends?
17:21I guess.
17:23But still, he's not so bad.
17:25Seemed pretty bad a moment ago.
17:27Well, he was just showing off.
17:29But Moore says he's all right.
17:31Still...
17:33the man stole your candy...
17:36stole your candy...
17:39and ruined your much-anticipated evening.
17:44Shouldn't there be repercussions?
17:48Are you okay?
17:54Yes.
17:57I suppose I'm just having a...
17:59bit of a temper tantrum, that's all.
18:02Yeah. I get those, too.
18:06Well, I'm going home.
18:09See you later.
18:11Yep. See you later.
18:14Say, you know, maybe I'll go home, too.
18:17If your brother doesn't get back your candy,
18:20you can always come trick-or-treating at my apartment.
18:22I got bags of this stuff. You can have all you want.
18:25Really? Awesome!
18:28Apartment 1901.
18:321901?
18:37You're the guy who eats brains.
18:42Now, come on.
18:44If I really ate brains,
18:46children would be disappearing from the building all the time.
18:50You ever noticed anything like that, have you?
18:53No.
18:55That's because I don't eat brains.
19:00Not human brains, anyway.
19:04Nice fresh order of calves, brains, and a beurre noise sauce.
19:08Now, that would be...
19:12I don't eat brains.
19:18All right, stop it.
19:20What?
19:22I don't want to watch myself make out with Elton John.
19:34Hello, all.
19:38I would like to apologize for my petulant departure.
19:44I just want us all to enjoy ourselves this evening.
19:47And, Niles, I never should have questioned your motives
19:52for this wonderful tribute.
19:54Thank you, son.
20:00It was our fault, too, Dr. Crane.
20:02We really didn't give your game a chance.
20:04Yeah, let's give it another shot.
20:07Joltin' Joe wouldn't quit, neither will I.
20:10All right, Ross, since you misunderstood tonight's theme,
20:13I'll tell you what, why don't you answer this question
20:17as your true hero, whomever that may be.
20:21Actually, I didn't misunderstand anything.
20:25You made so much fun of my costume,
20:28I got so embarrassed, so I lied.
20:32Wonder Woman really is my hero.
20:37I mean, she's smart and beautiful,
20:40moral, and totally independent.
20:44Talk about hooters.
20:50Hey, I keep that to myself.
20:56Ross, I never should have criticized you.
20:58I am terribly sorry.
21:01Oh, Daphne, you didn't bring me a Brewster.
21:03I think you've had enough.
21:05Oh, you can never have enough beer, Jody.
21:10That's Joe D.
21:14Niles, I believe that you're next.
21:17Huh.
21:18Tell us about your hero's greatest disappointment.
21:23Um...
21:25Oh, well, that I never got to take my kids
21:29to see Joe DiMaggio play.
21:31Oh, that's not your fault, Marty.
21:34I retired when they were infants.
21:36I guess it's not that important.
21:38My kids wouldn't know a baseball if it hit them in the face.
21:43In fact, that pretty much describes their one day in Little League.
21:50No offense, Joe, my kids do not care about baseball.
21:54Hell, they didn't care about anything that was important to me.
21:59All right, now, that's not fair.
22:01No, no, no, no, Joe.
22:02I'm just saying you and me, we're regular guys.
22:04You know, we know how to hang out with regular guys
22:07and shoot the breeze and knock a few back,
22:11but not my kids.
22:13You know, they're too good for that stuff.
22:16They got all their fancy degrees,
22:19but they never learned how to be regular guys.
22:27So I guess if I had to pick my two biggest disappointments...
22:30You stop right there.
22:33You will not put these words in my mouth.
22:37I was always proud of you boys,
22:40and I will not be portrayed as some drunken, judgmental jackass.
22:50That's why I didn't dress as you, Dad.
23:01You're a good son, Frasier.
23:06I'll go round to Bala's.
23:09Another great party.
23:13I am so sorry.
23:16I don't know what got into me.
23:19I'd say about six of these.
23:22Everything was so perfect,
23:25and I just blew it.
23:28I feel terrible.
23:31Oh, Niles.
23:33Why don't you just go talk to him?
23:35I'm sure I am the last person he wants to see right now.
23:39I wouldn't be so sure about that.
23:42He's not your hero for nothing.
23:48Right.
23:50Thank you, Frasier.
23:52But maybe you should talk to him as Niles.
23:55Ah, good idea.
24:01Hey, help me get this wig off.
24:04Right.
24:06Ow!
24:07Sorry.
24:08Ow! Ow!
24:10Ow! Ow! Ow!
24:11Bump it! Ow!
24:12Hold it.
24:14Too much spirit gum on it.
24:16You know, I'm going to need something to pry it off.
24:19I'll get it.
24:21Right.
24:22Here. Try this.
24:24Oh, thanks, dear.
24:25All right, now.
24:27Now, hold still.
24:29Easy, easy.
24:31Trick or treat!
24:34Trick or treat!
24:36Oh, how lovely. One moment.
24:39Why, you're hurting me!
24:41That's because you keep fighting me!
24:43Ah!
24:48Don't you dare!
24:50I've got candy!
24:53Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling
24:57Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:01Mercy
25:03And maybe I seem a bit confused
25:06Well, maybe
25:07But I got you pegged
25:09Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
25:12But I don't know what to do
25:14With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:19They're calling again
25:22Thank you!