CRAYON SHINCHAN クレヨンしんちゃん EP46
anime,jdrama,cartoon
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:011, 2, 3, 4!
00:05Yeah!
00:09The kiss of death!
00:13Stupid, thrifty Mitzi.
00:16Why'd I ever steal from her boob job jar?
00:20Now she's cut my allowance for punishment like I'm some kind of little kid or something.
00:24Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Mom should beat you up. Stealing is wrong, Dad.
00:28You stole her credit card.
00:30I had to download last night's Action Bastard.
00:32They rerun that show every day for free.
00:35Well, it makes more sense than you buying beer online, Dad.
00:38You had to go there.
00:39That imported beer has given me hours of essential brain-deadening, reality-escaping foamy enjoyment.
00:44When I have cash, it's a symbol of my freedom and ability to blow cash.
00:48I need my allowance back. Jack Barnes is flying in from the U.S. branch.
00:52And we're having dinner.
00:54Picking up the tab will show my boss I'm a real go-getter.
00:57Then I'm sure to be promoted to Hiro Nohara, head of cutlery research.
01:01But Mitzi...
01:03Uh-huh, good luck with that.
01:04Hey, it won't be hard to show her who's boss.
01:06I am the man, and the man needs his dough.
01:09Oh, yeah.
01:10Try something that could work.
01:12Huh?
01:13I'm sorry for stealing your boob money. Can I please have my full allowance?
01:16I'll rub your feet, and if I look at another lady again, I'll help you cut off my own sneaky sack.
01:21I'm not saying that.
01:22Yes, Dad!
01:23Go back now, and Mom will keep taking our cash.
01:25The line must be drawn here.
01:27You're right.
01:28Show her the submission you're capable of!
01:32But no pressure.
01:46Let's see what's in the paper.
01:48Ooh, more war.
01:50Hmm, high interest rates.
01:52I was wondering if I could have my full allowance back,
01:54because I need to take Jack Barnes from the U.S. branch out to dinner to impress my boss,
01:57and Shin says I can let you cut off my snake sack.
01:59Sure.
02:01You mean I can have it?
02:02I think you've been punished enough.
02:04She hasn't been this easy since the night we conceived Shin.
02:07Oh, no, what if...
02:09Don't say you want a baby.
02:10I'll give it back on two conditions.
02:12Wait, conditions?
02:14Here it is, the catch.
02:18This never turns out good for me.
02:20I'm cooking dinner for you two.
02:22You... wait, what?
02:23I get my full allowance and a dinner?
02:25Yes, but there is another condition, honey.
02:27I want you to explain to Jack Barnes about our deal.
02:30But that means telling him about your boob job jar.
02:32Isn't that a big secret?
02:34But it's a small price to pay for hearing you tell another man that your wife holds the purse strings.
02:38Ah, but he'll tell my boss, and they'll all think I'm weak.
02:41Or he might just think you're a good delegator.
02:43No, thanks.
02:44I'll just go to a place I can afford.
02:46Oh, he'll love gas station hot dogs.
02:48All right, dear, you win, I'll do it.
02:50Great, you can start thinking of ways to explain you're my bitch.
02:54She really is mad at me.
02:59This food will be so good I can guilt-hero into all sorts of things.
03:02His whipping will be complete.
03:05This might not be so bad after all.
03:07Wow, this crap smells good.
03:11Kobe beef stew?
03:13Mitzi, that's a lot of food.
03:15Well, I'm not just cooking you and Jack Barnes dinner, which he'll love.
03:21I've also made you lunch so you can stay at work and look productive.
03:24In return, I have a new list of household and bedroom jobs for you.
03:27One rhymes with shmoral.
03:30I know your game, and it's not fair.
03:32I never asked for this much awesomeness.
03:33Now I'll be indebted to you for weeks.
03:35You know, none of this would have happened if you hadn't sabotaged my boob job jar, hero.
03:40I'll get revenge while you sleep.
03:42I've howered Dutch oven, the likes of which none have smelt before,
03:45and you'll have no choice but to inhale.
03:47Well, it won't matter because you'll be sleeping on the couch,
03:49the one with the pillow-shin peed on last March.
03:53Oh, baby, you ungrateful bastard.
03:57Respect me, you bitchy, awful bitch.
04:00All right, jerk, you drove me to this.
04:08Hero, you have so much to learn when it comes to imaginary giant robot war.
04:12Did I hear pretend robot rockets?
04:15Hey, Shin, since I'm on a roll in the kitchen, I decided to make you a healthy lunch.
04:20Veggie particles?
04:23No.
04:26With her distracted, now's my chance to get out of this lunch-dinner scheme.
04:29You want me to eat that?
04:33Yeah.
04:34On three, I'm grabbing cash from her purse.
04:36Eat the veggies or no TV this week.
04:39Fine.
04:40He ruined my chance.
04:41Wait, maybe Shin's setting her up.
04:43Ah, who am I kidding?
04:44Inviting Jack Barnes home for an authentic Japanese meal is a total Jack Barnes move.
04:49I'm a real go-getter alpha male, that's for sure.
04:51Who knew you were such a badass?
04:53Hero, when Jack Barnes isn't in town, you're a role model for all us men.
04:57Thanks.
04:58Split, split, guys.
04:59Don't want to drain Hero of his take-charge coolness.
05:01Later, dudes.
05:02I always thought Hero was a loser.
05:04At least I can hold on to the glory until tonight.
05:08Did you girls hear about Hero?
05:10He's taking Jack Barnes from the U.S. branch out to dinner.
05:13Jack's like a young Dan Rather, hot and abusive.
05:15Wrong.
05:16Barnes called the office to confirm that Hero's having him over for dinner.
05:19I always thought Hero was a loser.
05:21It's hot that Hero has his wife cook.
05:23Shows he's a good delegator.
05:24Ooh, his wife makes his lunches, too.
05:26I guess we know who holds the whip in that family.
05:29If I see him take out that lunch, I'm gonna lose it.
05:32I won't be the only thing he looks good eating.
05:35Huh?
05:36Oh, uh, hi.
05:39What do you think he ordered his wife to make for him?
05:41Tuna?
05:42Yeah, definitely a tuna man.
05:43Girls, I think he hears us.
05:45Of course he hears us.
05:46He's a super hunk.
05:48Hero the hunk?
05:50Do me first, Hero.
05:52I'll make you food and not blackmail your dignity.
05:55Screw me and I'll go one better.
05:56I'll give your wallet back.
05:58Ladies, please, I'm good to go for dinner.
06:02Ladies, please, I'm good to go for tens of minutes.
06:10Work boners.
06:14Action bastard?
06:15Action bastard.
06:17Uh, sir?
06:23Shin, he switched lunches.
06:24I was hoping he was setting Mitzi up, but me, too.
06:26Why?
06:27He's eating my manly beef while I get his wimpy meal.
06:31It's my son's lunch.
06:32He's just playing a little prank on me is all.
06:34We do that.
06:35That's cute, Hero.
06:36But if your kid can fool you...
06:38What hope do you have of matching up with Jack Barnes?
06:40Later.
06:42Beta male.
06:44Stolen beef lunch.
06:49Everything worked out for the best.
06:51You feel like spending daddy's hard-earned cash on an overpriced lunch, Hima?
06:57Me, too.
06:58I'll never touch my boop-jop jar again.
07:04Shinji Garden.
07:13Eh? What the barnooley?
07:20What are you doing?
07:21Ninja versus samurai.
07:23Which one are you, Boo?
07:24I am the noble samurai.
07:26My father, Derry Blade, can cut through steel and mod-gold invaders.
07:29Tom Cruise and I are the last of our kind.
07:31We meditate, then we kill.
07:33And I'm the fast ninja.
07:34Boo doesn't know, but while we readied for battle,
07:36I've already cut off his ears and ate them and pooped.
07:41Can we play, too, guys?
07:44Sure, just don't copy our characters.
07:46I know! I can be one of the 300 oily, ripply-muscled Spartans!
07:50I'm a Blackwater Merc.
07:51Round one!
07:52Hold on!
07:53You can't do a ninja-slash-samurai death tournament without me, boy.
07:56It's pretend.
07:57Oh, a ninja-related debate. Let's do this.
08:01So who's fighting first?
08:02Hey, how about samurai versus contra-gorillas as a warm-up match?
08:06Contra what?
08:07No, you said you'd be a Blackwater monster.
08:09Gorillas are banned from ninja-samurai tourneys.
08:11Chips are, too.
08:12The monkeys do have cool butts.
08:14All right, all right.
08:15I just didn't want to face Maso in the first round if he's gonna be all greased up.
08:20Hmm?
08:21For the record, ninjas are the most powerful if they wore your breed.
08:24Um, what?
08:26Allow me to explain, children.
08:29Ninjas and I go all the way back to my days in stage magic.
08:33No, Winch! Please don't do your kill trick!
08:36It's not a kill trick. It's a kill illusion.
08:38Ninjas are like magicians who kill on purpose.
08:41My love for them is what initially led me to Japan for my asylum.
08:44Would you like me to teach you some skills?
08:50Knowledge is power, sir.
08:51I'd like to learn how to poop undetected.
08:53We're ready for our ninja lesson!
08:56I will push you to your limits.
08:58Ninja lesson one, mind over matter.
09:00I'll be describing myself.
09:02Be they in turtle or human form,
09:04ninjas are at their best when they can block out all negativity.
09:07Key to this is the ninja's hood.
09:10I've assigned you each a colored hood in the tradition of Japan's finest ninjas,
09:14the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.
09:16Sensei, I don't think the Power Rangers are ninjas.
09:19Inch knows what he's doing,
09:21because I'm pretty sure he was trained by Splinter.
09:23Principal Inch's mentor's a giant rat.
09:26Now recede into your hoods and relax.
09:33What the heck did you just do, man?
09:36You are a being of pure energy!
09:38It calms you. Try it.
09:39Now we can begin meditation, free from earthly pesterings.
09:46Oh, Shin, my love!
09:48The future holding tank for your man-seat is looking for you!
09:51Learning to seal yourself off from negative thoughts is vital
09:55if you're ever accused of a heinous murder.
09:57Uh, are you talking about your past again?
09:59I'm talking about a murders, not the murders.
10:02It's a little hard to empty my mind with that stench in here.
10:05I think Shin just emptied his butt of gas.
10:07Oh, kids, don't tease.
10:09Something is usually going to slip or squirt out when you meditate.
10:12Why do you think ninjas always wear black pants?
10:15Shin may be tooting, but he and Boo are really getting the stuff.
10:21Ninja Lesson 2, Stealthy Movement for Gruesomely Efficient Assassins.
10:27We're gonna sneak on boobs and rip out spines?
10:29No, but I like your enthusiasm.
10:31What we are gonna do is tiptoe on paper.
10:34What about the assassinations?
10:36Patience, children. You can't slice open a jugular if they hear you coming.
10:41Watch the paper. It doesn't move.
10:44Or make a single loud grumble!
10:47Ha! Think you can be that stealthy as well?
10:50The key is to think of each step as bringing you farther from the angry mob
10:54wanting to string you up in the city square.
10:57Can you please stop mentioning your past?
10:59I'll be your volunteer. I mean, what could go wrong?
11:01My late Jane once asked that.
11:04Georgie Prescott, Fearless Trailblazer.
11:07Steady and steady.
11:10That was incredibly climactic.
11:12I, uh, walk better on College Rule.
11:15I remember the Blue Ranger is having more balls.
11:18Alright, Twinkle Toes, let's see you give it a try.
11:20Kids, I give you a hint. Controlling your buttocks cheeks is vital if you want to master this.
11:25Does he mean ass?
11:26Sir, don't get Shin started on butt.
11:28Oh, no you don't! Put that back inside!
11:30You've got to let it breathe every few hours and he brought it up.
11:33Prepare for Ninja Ass Dance! Ninja Ass Dance!
11:38Ninja Ass Dance! Ninja Ass Dance! Ninja Ass Dance!
11:40Well, should you guide him?
11:44Ninja Lesson 3, Run Like The Wind People.
11:48The goal is to run with such speediness that it leaves the toilet paper right off the ground.
11:54For years, these skills helped me escape countless cops and ex-lovers.
11:58Go!
12:01You'll never catch me, Policia!
12:03Gene!
12:04You're going to reprise Super Pooper, aren't you?
12:07I will promise nothing!
12:14What the hell's your friend doing?
12:16My friend? You keep inviting him to our birthdays.
12:23It's too much paper.
12:26It's not about how much TP the ninja uses, but what he uses it for.
12:38Do you need any TP or help wiping? I have lots of the first and I'm okay at the second.
12:43He does this even when we're not playing ninjas.
12:46He's still got the toilet paper hanging off his butt.
12:49Time for the final lesson.
12:51Ninja Lesson 4, Throwing Star Murder Technique.
12:56Easy, kids. They're pointy.
12:59I want you each to grab one and put your mind in the cute place.
13:03Shouldn't these be metal and dipped in poison?
13:08They may be paper, kids, but I challenge you to strike me down with them.
13:13Prepare to die!
13:14Take this!
13:22You are rabbit, but I am cheetah.
13:25I need something bigger, violent-er.
13:32He wasn't even in the bathroom, taking his new twosies.
13:37I see you've found the ninja stars of wisdom. Prepare to face the ultimate power.
13:42Sweetie pie!
13:47Shin, I'll help you!
13:49I'm almost there, leather boy!
13:51Clench your buttocks!
13:56Hold on. Why are you dressed like the help?
13:59We were going for ninja.
14:01Who cares? I'm just glad you're here. Let's plan our wedding and kids' genders.
14:09My stars! With those skills, Mr. K must be a real ninja!
14:12He's like Eng, but with actual talent.
14:14Yo! Mr. K is our new ninja mentor!
14:19I've lost the children's vote of confidence. What to do?
14:24Quiet! You're attracting attention to Mrs. I.
14:26Of course. I must beat the man who stole my bride.
14:29Mr. K, I challenge you to a duel, ninja versus ninja.
14:32But if you don't like that, I can play the role of the samurai.
14:34Come on, please, fight me. I refrain from using much force.
14:37Don't leave me, Matt. I have lots of rage inside me.
14:43Grandfather knows best!
14:49Bam! Bam!
14:51You're about to get boss-smacked!
15:01I see you've made a mess of the entire house again, Shin.
15:05So why don't you clean up for once, huh?
15:08Because it covers the stains?
15:10Nice try, Shin, but I don't trip over stains.
15:13So, you'd best pick up every slimy toy by the time I get back.
15:17And don't pose your robot when I yell at you. You're making it hard not to laugh.
15:20Okay.
15:22I'm locking the door, Shin. Don't tell the neighbors I left you home alone, okay?
15:26In fact, I shouldn't be yelling this.
15:28Okay.
15:29Now I'm serious. All toys picked up, or else!
15:33I'm gonna clean so good, but no one can work in this ball-sweaty sauna.
15:39Computer! Maximum cool!
15:42Need bastard fizz?
15:47These ices had better be cold!
15:51Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
15:54Put some bastard in you!
15:59Can't they see I'm busy here?
16:02No one's home! Go away!
16:06Stop!
16:07Ooh, a delivery? You the horse or the pig man?
16:11Neither. It's me.
16:13Vulture? Fish?
16:15Okay, I'm running out of ideas in here.
16:17You're probably the horse.
16:18Come on, Shin. No more games.
16:21Wait, animals can't talk except on TV.
16:24You're a TV?
16:26I am not allowed to talk to strange TVs!
16:28Isn't Mitzi there?
16:31TV's finally come for Mom!
16:33I know she makes it play dumb shows and probably deserves death,
16:36but I'm her awesome only son! I have to defend her!
16:39Why didn't Dad buy me a shotgun?
16:41Wait, it's gone.
16:49Whoa, Grandpa!
16:52How'd he get past the TV?
16:54Shin, let's go. Unlock the door for me.
16:57No, I can't right now. There's something outside.
17:00I'm outside and it's balmy.
17:02So let your Gramps in before he gets heatstroke and passes out.
17:05I'm afraid you don't grasp the danger we're in.
17:08The TV's trying to kill Mom with its buzzard or fish voice.
17:11How do I know you're not the TV dressed like Grandpa?
17:14You're gonna have to stay out.
17:16Fine, Shin. I killed the TV.
17:18Uh-huh, uh-huh. That's a good start.
17:21Whoa! Grandpa, you saved us!
17:26In that case, I bid you a hero's welcome.
17:29That's where your Dad farts a lot, right?
17:34Mitzi never did learn how to pick up her room.
17:38Yeah, she must have had some terrible parents.
17:42Here, please sit.
17:46At least they're out of that apartment that smelled like carcass.
17:53A dangerous mistake.
17:55But that's okay, out of my concern.
17:58So something's a little out of place.
18:00A little terribly, terribly out of place.
18:02Okay, fix this one thing just this once, and you're back in control.
18:09My back!
18:11Tough break.
18:12But I hear Choco-Bees are pretty sweet for that.
18:15Thank you, Shin. Nobody wants to be buried alive.
18:18Here, this was in the fridge. It's either tea or meat grease.
18:22Ah, how very gracious of you.
18:25And really, have a Choco-Bee. They're very healthy.
18:28Mostly corn syrup, I think.
18:30Perhaps Mitzi has done an adequate job of raising you as a polite young man.
18:35Here, Shin, this is for you.
18:38Is this to tip dancers?
18:41Tip dancers?
18:43That's what Fun Grandpa does.
18:45No, Shin. Money is to be respected.
18:48Oh, you're a cheap-ass, too.
18:51Don't swear and don't call me cheap.
18:53It's a moral imperative to save our money.
18:59I should show you where Mom saves her money. You'd be proud.
19:02It's for her boobies.
19:03You shouldn't talk of such things. Remember your manners.
19:07It's because Mom's so flat.
19:09Yeah, so how about we talk about something besides my daughter's mosquito bites?
19:18Anyway...
19:19Some Choco-Bees don't look like chocolate.
19:22Oh, tasty.
19:27So this is what you do for fun?
19:29Yep.
19:34So, Grandpa, what brings you to the city anyway?
19:37Grandma.
19:38What does that mean?
19:39The Beast took over and she tried to die.
19:41The Beast?
19:42You mean like she transformed into a were-dragon?
19:45You old people get all sorts of weird diseases.
19:48Doc says it's some severe brain chemical blah-blah, but I say we pretend we don't notice.
19:52It'll just encourage her.
19:57That box wasn't there when I walked in.
20:00Must have fallen out of the closet with the bedding.
20:03Careful!
20:08I call him Robbie Ribbed.
20:10He's Mom's purple snake toy.
20:12Why would a grown woman have a toy?
20:20These jellies are quite tasty, but they have an odd smell.
20:23And they kind of stick together.
20:25But after the Perry Hotter ones, I'm not shocked by anything.
20:29This is great. It's like Mom's show-and-tell.
20:32You can stop now.
20:33Nope.
20:35Mom said sticky hands are good for nothing.
20:40Sho!
20:42No, Shin. We won't discuss that.
20:44She used to use a jar, but Dad found it.
20:47So now it's right here.
20:49The Legendary Knocker Fund.
20:51If you take a little, Mom doesn't know.
20:56No! The TV lives!
20:58Huh...
21:01Please stay in there until someone else opens the door.
21:06Stay!
21:07No talking birds or fishes allowed!
21:10Oh, it's you. Where's my ice cream?
21:12Huh?
21:13Did you remember to...
21:14What the...
21:15Why the hell didn't you clean up this room?
21:17I'm entertaining.
21:18To whom, Shin? Because I...
21:22Dad! What are you doing here?
21:24Nice of you to greet me, finally.
21:26You never told me you were flying down. You have to warn me.
21:29What if there was no one to let you in?
21:31Mitzi, don't raise your voice.
21:33Yes, Dad.
21:34And there might as well have been no one to let me in,
21:36because my grandson's a complete idiot.
21:38What'd he do now?
21:40Why didn't he let you in?
21:41Where do you send him to school?
21:43He barely has a grasp on the basic concepts of living.
21:45You know, the only school that'll take him is American.
21:48And they, uh...
21:50American?
21:51Why don't you just stab me in the heart with a gun right now?
21:53You can't play the self-pity card.
21:55Mom already bought the deck.
21:57Speaking of your mother, we'll be in town for a while.
21:59I didn't clean in, I got ice cream.
22:01Thanks, Grandpa.
22:25But then I close my eyes and try to smile.
22:28I know things are bad and getting worse.
22:31But after all this, I can rest a while.
22:35And then I'll party, party.
22:37Party, party, join us, join us.
22:38Party, party, join us, join us.
22:40Party, party, join us, join us.
22:42Shake your day away and you can
22:43Party, party, join us, join us.
22:45Party, party, join us, join us.
22:46Party, party, join us, join us.
22:48Shake your blues away!
22:53Yo, break a vacation, Mom!
22:56This heart is shaking and it ain't just shaking here.
22:59I see that smile, you're grinning ear to ear.
23:02Sing this song and you should really sing it clear.
23:05Just sing along with us.
23:10Party, party, join us, join us.
23:12Party, party, join us, join us.
23:13Party, party, join us, join us.
23:15Shake your day away and you can
23:16Party, party!
23:18Oh, I'm back with shoes.
23:20Party!
23:21And I'll party it in.
23:23Party, party!