CRAYON SHINCHAN クレヨンしんちゃん EP54
anime,jdrama,cartoon
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:001, 2, 3, 4!
00:04Shin-Chan!
00:08How We Spent Our Two-Year Summer Vacation
00:13It's been two years since the last episode of Shin-Chan.
00:16In that time, the polar ice caps have melted, covering the world in water
00:20and forcing me to live on a mountain with the world's last hot egg.
00:24My body has also changed.
00:27I've evolved.
00:29I now have two mutant boobies!
00:32Stop narrating like you're on some stupid TV show. It's rude.
00:39It's always boobies with that kid.
00:45Snap out of it. We're at the beach.
00:48What could you possibly have to complain about here?
00:52Are you sad because you're preggers?
00:54That's not it. My head hurts.
00:57I forgot we planned a trip today.
00:59Turns out the best cure for a hangover isn't to have your kids jump on your junk at 6.30 in the morning.
01:05I'd hoped to sleep off the beers I had last night to celebrate two more years without a raise.
01:10But instead, I sat in traffic for hours
01:12because some other depressed salesman pulled a Meet Joe Black on the freeway.
01:19I know I should cheer up. There must be something good here.
01:22Bet the water feels nice.
01:24Everyone out of the water. There's a tide of medical waste rolling in.
01:27On second thought, I think I'd rather stay on this towel.
01:30Mind if we tan here?
01:32We got kicked out of the water.
01:34Holy crap!
01:37They look familiar.
01:41Of course, they're porn stars.
01:45Ladies, you can call me Hero.
01:47Groobies! Grouchies!
01:49Touch them, Hero, and I'll kill you.
01:51Huh? I'm just playing it cool, Mitz.
01:54Raising a pole can be hard.
01:56Use your mouth.
01:57Ladies, please allow me to help.
01:59Now, now, Shin. Hot young babes aren't for young boys.
02:09By that, I mean grossly skinny girls who don't appeal to me at all.
02:12Great! More for me!
02:14It needs to lube.
02:15What doesn't need it?
02:17Here we go.
02:18Girls, may I squeeze you?
02:20I saved this boy from an orphanage.
02:23Stupid skinny whores.
02:25Ejaculation!
02:27Of course I hated helping them. They're so annoying.
02:30Oh, Sasha, that feels so good. Now go lower and deeper.
02:33They're gonna go at it right here on the beach.
02:35Oops, I spilled. I'll lick it up.
02:37If only there weren't so many people around. I totally want to make out right now.
02:41Ignore the girls, Hero.
02:43Ignore the hot, oiled, real-life porn stars just five feet away from you
02:47who are slowly taking off their bikini bottoms and kissing each other's...
02:50Oh, my God, she isn't. She is!
02:52Oh, come on, why did I get married?
02:54Hero.
02:56Hero.
02:57Hero!
02:58Yes, dear?
02:59Master Juice.
03:00Oh, thank you.
03:03Hey, ladies.
03:05Hey, little boy.
03:06You're cute. Wanna play?
03:08We brought toys.
03:12What was that all about?
03:15Nothing. I'm just so tense and stiff.
03:20Shin.
03:21Hey, look at that. You're a good blower.
03:23Yeah, I get that a lot.
03:25On my webcam comments.
03:29It's not funny.
03:33Behold, the third bounciest ass on the beach today.
03:36Oh, those hotties wanna talk to you.
03:38You talk at your own risk, Hero.
03:41I know.
03:42So there's this volleyball game.
03:44Hey, Aria, tell him about the prizes.
03:47Yes, tell me.
03:51Watch out.
03:59I need a shower.
04:01Let's all take one.
04:04Hmm.
04:09That sounds fun, though of course I'd only be doing it to win the prize for my family.
04:13I'm the prize, bro.
04:15This is our co-star, Dick Coxley.
04:18And he's just kidding. He'll be your partner in the tournament.
04:21But what about you girls?
04:24You'll see plenty of us if you win.
04:26First prize is a trip to Joe Francis' Pleasure Island.
04:29Joe started Girls Go Wild and sells pills to me.
04:32Dick takes rhino hormone to grow his package.
04:35It looks like he's got two noodles.
04:38You should definitely play, dear.
04:42Just send it to me, bro. I'll handle the rest.
04:45Okay.
04:51Dad, try not using your face.
04:53Come on, bro-mo, let's win this and get those girls going wild.
04:57All right, Dick.
04:59Come on, hero. This is your one shot at self-respect.
05:02All you!
05:07Got it!
05:17I should have remembered that I totally suck at volleyball.
05:22Oh!
05:28At least you're consistently bad.
05:30The winner of the Girls Go Wild Pleasure Island trip is not Dick and Hero.
05:36Balls.
05:38So, are you sad that we can't go to Pleasure Island?
05:41Since your mom's right here, no.
05:43What?
05:45Son, I am a happily married man.
05:47So, Dick, you know if he's single?
05:50That's funny, Mitzi, but I think I've suffered enough.
05:53My penis has now officially disappeared.
05:56Hero, you left without getting your parting gift.
05:59Thanks. I guess I'll have to take what I can get.
06:02It's actually a much bigger prize than you think.
06:04Each of those rolls is stuffed full of rhino hormones.
06:07Oh, yeah? That's what Dick uses to get big, not that I would need it.
06:12Eat them, Hero.
06:14But on the other hand, I'd hate to be rude. Here goes.
06:17They also make you poop a lot.
06:19The rolls are full of laxatives, too.
06:21We're eating them with Dick for the new movie we're shooting.
06:24It's called Must Love Logs, and it's so hot.
06:29I can't say I've heard of this film, but I do like the title.
06:32I feel bad for you, Hero. You don't deserve this at all.
06:35I might throw up.
06:38Puking's hot, too.
06:40That's good to know.
06:43Please leave.
06:49I'll be a while.
06:51Yep. Need some help?
06:54I'm fine.
06:55Oh, crap. It's poking out. Where's the crapper? Stupid porn stars.
07:02Anime is for children, and loser it does.
07:06Mom chose paper, so now she's stuck with me.
07:09She doesn't get the game's subtle strategies.
07:13I should have known Hero would scissor me.
07:16Okay. One, two, three!
07:20Son of a bitch!
07:22Scissors beat paper! Scissors beat paper!
07:25Now you got to go to the lame theater!
07:27Watch it, Hero!
07:29And I get to watch Hima and play all her favorite games,
07:31like rip up Mommy's magazines while Daddy rests his eyes.
07:33Man, that movie's gonna blow.
07:37You're so lucky!
07:39We should have drawn straws. At least I know how to cheat at that.
07:43Hey, moviegoers. Thanks for your patience as we clean the theater from the first kids' day screening.
07:48We're scrubbing hard to get all that candy and fecal matter off the screen.
07:53I thought Miyazaki made artsy Oscar films.
07:56Yeah, he got tired of tanking in America.
07:59So we switched to lowbrow toilet humor?
08:01The Farrelly brothers wrote the script.
08:05Well, hello, Mitzi. I'm so glad you could make it today.
08:08Yeah, me too.
08:09You know this is gonna blow, right?
08:11Are you excited about the movie, Shin?
08:13Yeah, I just hope it's more than one-dimensional poop jokes,
08:16which is to say I hope we get 3D glasses.
08:18You're still hopeless.
08:20Did you hear Christian Bale flipped while voice acting and killed half the crew?
08:27Sorry, gals, but ever since Bill's transformation, I haven't felt like me.
08:30Can one of you break my jaw?
08:32Try to hide your crazy in front of our kids, okay, Patty?
08:37Anyway, did you hear about that sign movie?
08:39Oh, my God, yeah.
08:42I understand it's a musical that's made up entirely of ace of bass music.
08:46It's just like Mamma Mia, but instead of Meryl Streep,
08:48it's Judi Dench dancing with the help of a sequined walker.
08:51Seeing Brosnan peel off her overalls will make me feel so young.
08:56Hey, I know.
08:58I looked up all the showtimes this morning,
09:00and the sign is playing at a theater down the street at the same time as this stupid anime.
09:04See what I'm getting at?
09:06Why should we all suffer when one of us can watch the kids here
09:08while the rest of us go live it up singing Don't Turn Around
09:11over and over again since ace of bass only had three hits?
09:14Brilliant, Mitzi.
09:15That's a swell idea.
09:16Let's do it.
09:17As long as whoever stays here will give Maso his after-breakfast enema
09:20so he won't become a grumpy butt.
09:28It's rock, paper, scissors.
09:30Ready?
09:32All right.
09:33Loser stays.
09:35The winners will see the sign.
09:38Let's play.
09:42Here we go.
09:44Freedom!
09:48You're so predictable, Mitzi.
09:50Scissors beats you every time.
09:59Son of a bitch.
10:00Again?
10:01Again?
10:05Wow.
10:06Lots of seats.
10:07Yeah, they only fill up half the theater on Kids' Day
10:10to prevent a Lord of the Flies uprising after that incident in Portugal.
10:13Oh, that's a sensible move.
10:15Look, if you're gonna be Mr. Informative Kissup,
10:17tell me now so I can light myself on fire.
10:19That's not funny, dear.
10:21If I sit next to Penny, am I gonna get burned, too?
10:23There won't be any fire today.
10:25Just in case you're wrong, can we get ingredients for s'mores?
10:28Make this worse, Shin, and I'll kill you.
10:31Just kidding.
10:32I love my son.
10:36Well, at least we're seated.
10:38And hopefully they'll slip into movie comas for an hour.
10:42Time to check out the concession stand.
10:44What?
10:45No!
10:46Souvenir coffee!
10:48Kids, wait!
10:50Hey, moviegoers, please find your seats now
10:52as the film will begin shortly.
10:54This message brought to you by Butterday's Popcorn Company,
10:57who thank their salesman, Mr. Doyle,
10:59for his years of mediocre service,
11:01and wish him the best of luck as he returns to federal prison.
11:07Mom, can we have programs?
11:09Forget about it, Shin. Those things are ten bucks a pop.
11:11Hate to sound like a socialist,
11:13but we could pool our resources and share one.
11:15Yeah, I'll chip in.
11:16Me, too.
11:17No, my mom wants to buy one for each of us
11:19so we'll discover the joy of reading.
11:21Shin, your mom didn't say that.
11:23Not out loud, but it's in her body language.
11:25That convulsing means she doesn't want your moms to know
11:29Enjoy that program, son.
11:31It might be the last thing you ever own.
11:34I was hoping for some behind-the-scenes insight,
11:36but it's more of a fluff piece.
11:38I graded a lowish C.
11:40Good to flip through, but not really worth the price.
11:42Glad I didn't pay.
11:45I'm grateful.
11:49Can't snap now, Minzy?
11:51Way too many witnesses.
11:54Hey, look at that head!
11:56I know those lumps, it's Boo!
11:58Boo!
11:59Whoa, I have that name.
12:01Hey, Boo!
12:02For that ten bucks, he thinks we're doing the blank screen.
12:06Thanks for the popcorn and program, Shin Mom.
12:08I don't know which one to eat first.
12:10Sure, Boo.
12:11We now begin our feature presentation.
12:13Moms, please keep all smacking, slobbering, and breastfeeding sounds to a minimum.
12:19Good at starting. Maybe the worst is behind me.
12:23Who's behind me?
12:25I can't see over your broke-ass hairdo, you little...
12:29Don't argue, it'll just make it worse.
12:32Okay, I'll try to slouch.
12:35Try hard.
12:38Yeah, this is comfy.
12:52No, Penny, I'll handle it.
12:56Excuse me, could you please stop kicking her seat?
13:02Mommy, is that a monster?
13:04No, dear, she's just a B-word.
13:09I like the animation, but it's still boring as hell.
13:17Glad to know Hiro's not the only man who thinks taking care of the kids means taking a nap.
13:22So how was Billy's summer camp?
13:24Great. I got my stomach pumped from partying every night he was gone.
13:28Was camp expensive?
13:30No, actually, I got out of paying anything for it.
13:32How did you manage to do that?
13:34I just had Billy claim that his camp counselor fondled him.
13:37No way!
13:38I love saving money as much as the next gal, but that's just sick.
13:43And do they have to talk so loud when I'm trying to watch this crap movie?
13:47I'm ass-over, yay!
13:49I'm ass-over, yay!
13:52Popcorn people, I command you, be free!
13:57Seriously, you are my hero!
14:08Nice. I should have Boo tag along more often.
14:11If people get mad, I can just play the low IQ card.
14:15You've got to be kidding me.
14:18No. That's so not fair.
14:26No, Patty. I need you to come and pick up your kids.
14:29Would you stop singing and listen to me?
14:31Damn. Stupid catchy ace of bass.
14:34My favorite part is the ending. It's really ridiculous.
14:39It's over already?
14:42It's over already? How?
14:45Well, considering how long we've been...
14:47But, Shin, it hasn't even been a half hour.
14:50Yeah, they started making all kids' movies 20 minutes
14:53so they can have more screenings per theater.
14:55You really don't know anything about the bees, do you, Mom?
14:5820 minutes? But I spent 12 bucks a ticket.
15:12Here's more!
15:23Hey, look. It's Georgie.
15:26Hi.
15:27Boys, you look well.
15:29Thanks for inviting us to your super fancy schmancy country club
15:32for rich Americans who live in Japan.
15:34As long as none of you are black, brown, or whatever the heck Tiger Woods is,
15:38you're always welcome here.
15:40Yay!
15:41Thanks, Georgie's grandma.
15:43You jerk! She is not my grandmother!
15:46Oh, Georgie, you can't disown your grandma,
15:48even if she is old and wrinkly and smells like cabbage farts.
15:51She's my mother, Shin.
15:53I always say hair dyes for harlots.
15:55And hotties.
15:57This is where we change into our bathing outfits.
16:00I'll see you young gentlemen on the other side.
16:02Toodles!
16:04Toodles?
16:05You can't go in the ladies' locker room!
16:07I have cotton candy hot dog dispensers!
16:10I could stand here like this all day.
16:13Can't believe we go back to school tomorrow.
16:15Well, it has been two years. I think maybe it's time.
16:18It's noon thirty.
16:20If I'm going to be cooped up in school for the next 25 weeks,
16:23I better spend all day today without pants.
16:25You will keep your pants on at all times!
16:27Well, then I guess there's nothing for me to see.
16:29Except spiders.
16:31Whoa! This locker room's tiny, but I can do it!
16:35That's just one locker room locker.
16:37You don't have to change in there.
16:41Actually, that was pretty impressive.
16:43All guests report to the Perrier showers
16:45to have the poor people smell washed off.
16:47It's so chilled and sparkling.
16:49Oh boy, I love things that sparkle.
16:51I should check the temperature.
16:55Tickly!
16:57Like a snake in your undies?
16:58Why couldn't you check out the water with your own soft hands?
17:01I have to bathe in that, too, because I've been contaminated by you.
17:04Sorry.
17:05I forget. Do cold showers make your noodle bigger?
17:08Cold showers make demons make voodoo stab.
17:11We can distract ourselves by singing the Global Warming is a Myth song.
17:15Global warming isn't real.
17:17Let's all club a baby seal.
17:19I feel great, the weather's fine.
17:21I hate hearing outdoors whine.
17:22Cap'n!
17:25Marching and chanting really makes you hot.
17:28No wonder those black kids in Birmingham wanted the fire hoses turned on them.
17:35Adult Swim!
17:36They always kick us out right when we catch on.
17:38And stroke, and stroke, and stroke, and stroke.
17:42And stroke, and stroke, and stroke, and stroke.
17:46You boys are doing such a fine job stroking.
17:48And stroke, stroke, stroke that ass.
17:51What are you doing?
17:52The ass stroke, ma'am.
17:53We may pander to the Wasilla hillbillies,
17:55but that dance won't be tolerated here.
17:58Free Swim!
17:59Mother, can we go get in the water now?
18:01Since they've proven their skills at land swimming, I can't be sued by their parents.
18:04Bye!
18:05Bye!
18:06So swimming in water is a lot like swimming on land, right?
18:13That slide was built to honor Dubya's economic success.
18:16Uh-huh, uh-huh. Doesn't look so scary.
18:18Ahh!
18:25Wow, that sure was refreshing.
18:27I got a wedgie way up there.
18:29It'll be something to remember it by.
18:31Oh.
18:32If you think that was fun, you should try waterboarding.
18:34I'm not even swimming, I'm just farting!
18:37That's the lazy welfare river.
18:39Welfare? What's welfare again?
18:41For dead beets.
18:42We have to act like beets that died?
18:44No, you lie there and do nothing.
18:46Well, that doesn't sound like fun.
18:48No, it's not.
18:49In recognition of his bringing Western cultural hegemony to the Orient,
18:53paving the way for this club, let's play Marco Polo, alright guys?
18:56Yay!
18:57We'll see who's it.
18:59Rock, paper, scissors. Ready, set, go!
19:02That makes Shin it!
19:04Dad, is all your advice wrong?
19:06Close your eyes and count to ten.
19:10One, and...
19:11No matter how much Geraldo begs, don't go for a mustache ride.
19:14Twelve, five, nineteen, seven...
19:19I'm supposed to be groping around to find my friends,
19:22and I think they might be hiding in your swimming suit top.
19:24The thing is that you're both freakishly tall, which you might have been into...
19:27The club forbids flirting with the Fox News anchor babes, Shin.
19:30Oh, Georgie, I found you. I guess that means you're it now.
19:33Just close your eyes and look for us.
19:36But I... I thought I just found you.
19:39One, two...
19:40Oh, Chad, splash those fluids all over my hot body.
19:43Crystal Palin was right. This is so much hotter than premarital sex.
19:46All those heathen fornicators don't know what they're not missing.
19:49Just... like... it...
19:51Don't... stop...
19:53I'll call you sometime.
19:55Toodles!
19:57You ever heard of a bubble job?
19:59I wonder where Shin could be hiding.
20:02I can't even smell him.
20:06He can't hide forever.
20:11He's gotta show his ass sometime.
20:14I know those cheeks anywhere. It's Shin!
20:16Better swim!
20:20Tag, you're it!
20:22But your butt!
20:23Made from a mold of my ass.
20:25No running applies to noses too, you boy with the ancient head.
20:28I told you not to expose yourself at our club!
20:30I kept my pants on. Here!
20:32Don't give me lice!
20:34Where'd you get an ant in an Scalia wig?
20:36Took it off a fat guy in a black robe.
20:38That's the judge's hairpiece!
20:40Legs, thighs, breasts.
20:43Today's over-Republican woman has everything a liberal chick or a bucket of chicken has.
20:48Except chlamydia.
20:50Thank you, former Governor Sarah, for showing us that women of a certain age and backwards way of thinking can still be sexy.
20:56Just look at my backside.
20:59Mother, may we have some of that tang now?
21:01Oh, sure. You mean the orange-flavored beverage.
21:06Can I ask a question, Georgie's mom?
21:08Yes, you may.
21:09How'd you get back nippies?
21:10Huh? Back nippies?
21:12You know, the nipples on your back fat.
21:14Huh?
21:15Oh!
21:17Oh, my!
21:18Use band-aids!
21:20Ooh! They must have fallen off my scabbies when I peeled them off!
21:23Great. Now I have odd tan lines and probably rabies.
21:27Since your back nips turned out to be fake, you've gotten to be in the second most boring of my friend's moms, so peace!
21:33I should have known better than to let the little Japanese boy in here.
21:37No horseplay!
21:38Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Coulter. I thought you were a horse.
21:41Jeepers! Now that's what a man should look like!
21:43Huh?
21:44They're a healthy John Boehner's shade of orange.
21:46And their suits are so tight and skimpy, it's almost like they're naked.
21:49Except Georgie can't yell at him for it.
21:51I hope someday a man like that emerges from deep inside me.
21:58Dead boy to half.
22:00Swim tighties, ho!
22:04There. Instant speedo.
22:06This is your least bad idea ever.
22:08Are you boys man enough?
22:14We rule this pool.
22:16And we do it with class.
22:18You're pushing the no-pants rule to the limit.
22:20Pushing, but not breaking.
22:22We're like Michael Phelps without the monkey face and jack-o'-lantern teeth.
22:25USA!
22:27We're like Michael Phelps without the monkey face and jack-o'-lantern teeth.
22:29USA!
22:42Look! Guess one testicle isn't enough to hold on to a speedo.
22:46I love it here.
22:47Is this two-year summer vacation over yet?
22:49Because I don't think I can take any more of this fun!
22:57A storm is really rolling.
22:59Frogs and dogs are raining from the sky.
23:02Everything seems awkward to me.
23:04Nothing's just as it should be.
23:05If this keeps on, I'm sure I won't get by.
23:09But then I close my eyes and try to smile.
23:12I know things are bad and getting worse.
23:15But after all this, I can rest a while.
23:19And then I'll party, party.
23:21Party, party, join us, join us.
23:22Party, party, join us, join us.
23:24Party, party, join us, join us.
23:26Shake your day away and you can party, party.
23:28Join us, join us.
23:29Party, party, join us, join us.
23:30Party, party, join us, join us.
23:32Shake your blues away!
23:37Yo! We're getting vacation, mom!
23:40This party's shaking and it ain't just shaking here.
23:43I see that smile, you're grinning ear to ear.
23:46Sing this song, you should really sing it clear.
23:49Just sing along with us!
23:54Party, party, join us, join us.
23:56Party, party, join us, join us.
23:57Party, party, join us, join us.
23:59Shake your day away and you can party, party!
24:02Oh, I grabbed your shoe.
24:04Party!
24:05Candle party it is.
24:07Party, party!