CRAYON SHINCHAN クレヨンしんちゃん EP51
anime,jdrama,cartoon
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:011, 2, 3, ha!
00:05Yeah!
00:09The chug stops here.
00:13The nurse thought it would pass today, so he might need extra potty time.
00:18Hope you're there to see it, too, sis.
00:22You! Today's chin birth is a micro-bastard.
00:27Man, I was hoping for more applause.
00:30Your musk put my fans to sleep.
00:32It's not musk, it's diesel.
00:34And she had me siphoning gas from a dump truck because of rising fuel prices.
00:38Now sit down.
00:40Shin! Just let it ease out naturally!
00:44Something tragic's happened to Penny.
00:46Uh, duh.
00:47No, it's different. She's completely unresponsive.
00:50Take a look.
00:55Not even my jazz-hop routine could rouse her.
00:58Maybe she's just sleeping with her eyes open like I do when I don't want Mr. Sandman to steal my eyelids.
01:03No, Maso's right. I think it's something really catastrophic this time.
01:07Uh-huh, prayed so.
01:10But how can it get worse?
01:12Hey, Boo, you know anything Penny could be upset about?
01:15The wind scares me.
01:16Could it be, after all our jokes and indifference, domestic abuse isn't that funny?
01:21Georgie, you're dumb.
01:24Got it!
01:26I'm flying!
01:31I'm flying!
01:34She's still moping. This really is a crisis.
01:37I know she can be a bully, but she's our friend. We should help her when she's down.
01:41No, wouldn't we be better friends if we acted like we didn't notice?
01:45We always do that. It's clearly not working.
01:47Think outside the box, Georgie.
01:49Now that she's on mute, we can move her mouth and throw our voices to make her say funny things.
01:52It could be a pretty sweet idea for a show on TV.
01:55Stop being stupid. Penny has clearly got it bad, and it's time you got serious.
02:00Get serious with Penny? You mean we can't just keep it casual?
02:05Muffers, I beg you!
02:07I must marry your daughter and make her have the babies, because Georgie said to.
02:12Forget that dumbass. We'll cure Penny's sadness without his help.
02:15How are we going to do that?
02:18I am a sorcerer who screams like a girl!
02:21Yes, you should be tortured.
02:27And that's just a preview of the fun you could have by playing pretend with us today and dehumanizing Maso.
02:31Huh? You never said...
02:34She needs this. Making fun of you is her source of joy. It's like you and the Foxtrot.
02:39No thanks, guys.
02:42It's not over yet.
02:44Thanks, guys.
02:47It's not a good day for me.
02:53Sure about that, Penny?
02:54Because it's keep your daughters out of the workplace day, where girls can force us to play any game of homemaking they want.
02:59In that case, Lady Cinderella is going to make you play house with her.
03:02You can be a prince charming if your poop fits perfectly into a glass slipper.
03:06Poop's not funny! I'm trying to do good here!
03:09Don't listen to him.
03:12Son of a bitch.
03:15Yeah, I guess she is low energy today. I thought I was just hyper.
03:22I didn't pay attention in my behavioral issues class, so I don't really know what's wrong with her.
03:27Maybe you should meet with her parents. There's a chance you could have a real impact.
03:31No, I'm not doing that. It'd be so awkward.
03:34Yuck.
03:35Hey, why don't you guys tell her some gossip instead? That always takes my mind off my life.
03:40Hey, know what I heard? Miss Anderson's dating Doyle because his noodle's made out of popcorn.
03:45Dammit, Shin! Stop lying about me and Doyle! I'll kill you! I'll freaking kill you now!
03:54You guys think Shin's lying, right?
03:59So now you want me to talk to that welfare tramp?
04:01We're pretty desperate.
04:03What do you want me to say?
04:04Just be your ruggedly, handsomely, powerfully aggressive self!
04:07Why do you make me sound like a man?
04:09I mean, speak to her like you nice young females normally do.
04:13You mean talk shit?
04:15She seems to have some post-traumatic stress, and not in the funny, stabbing-shadows-and-crying way.
04:21Wow.
04:22Maybe a little spirited debate could help her.
04:24Shit talk. I got it.
04:28Well, you guys, it's like they say. Only Nixon could go to China.
04:31And, you know, call China a slit.
04:33Huh?
04:38Damn, she has gone nutso.
04:42So, lardass, have any plans for our three-day weekend?
04:46I'm going to Paris since I'm not poor.
04:49That's it. Go for the throat.
04:51I'll be shopping. I know you've never heard of it, but that's when you buy new clothes.
04:54You should really think about trying it sometime. Like soon.
04:58If ugliness was a crime, you'd be on death row!
05:00You running away, bitch?
05:02What? You finally realized no boy would ever beg you even if he had a bag over your head, your arms, and your legs, and your torso?
05:07Eyes attacks didn't even get a response. When's that ever happened?
05:11It's like she's deaf. Or boo.
05:13Talk is cheap. If we're going to help Penny, we've clearly got to put our words into action.
05:17Either that or electroshock. I still support that.
05:20I can hang.
05:21Wait for it.
05:24She's coming!
05:26Just follow my lead.
05:28Man, being four well-off bachelor roommates who have amazing potential but clear flaws that need fixing sure is tough.
05:34We need a take-charge woman who can try and shape us.
05:37Then we'd battle to wet her hat.
05:39Face it, we'll never find her. We're all alone here. One of us will have to grow toddies.
05:44Damn, I didn't think she could resist the blanket.
05:46Alright, fine, guys. I'll grow the boobies, but you can't overuse me, and I want every Sunday as my free night. Grow boobies? How?
05:53She's already gone, dumb nuts.
05:56Look, it's simple. Girls just want our guy friends to ask us what's wrong when we're sad and be there if we're super lonely and randy.
06:03She's actually right. I mean, I'm not touching that mess, but you kids could.
06:07Who's gonna ask her, though?
06:12Fine, leach out the strong one, you pansy freakin' socialist.
06:17It's all because of the DWI. Let me finish burying my happiness.
06:23So that's why you're depressed?
06:26Well, yeah. Ever since he finished anger management.
06:30He smiles a lot and says no more hurdy-belt time, like I'm not good enough for bruises.
06:36Jeez.
06:37Um, Earth to Welfare, dads don't show they care by smacking you, they show you by working so hard they can only see you one hour a week.
06:44For real? I've never heard that.
06:47Uh, yeah.
06:48Look, our mind's warping.
06:51I knew your life would improve if we did nothing.
06:53Yes, Penny, I'm not jealous of you at all.
06:56Even though you were the one chick whose life was worse than mine.
07:01I give it a month.
07:02No more fright nights?
07:04What am I gonna do with all this extra free time?
07:07Student council could use a girl to serve drinks.
07:09Wow.
07:10I have happy.
07:11I'm gonna miss those jokes.
07:14Well, on to happier thoughts. Have I ever told you guys about my cousin? He says that we're in love.
07:19Ah!
07:25Book him, Shinno!
07:32As opposed as I am to libraries and anything else public, if it's free, I might as well do my capitalistic duty and exploit it until there's nothing left.
07:43Boogie smear!
07:46Get off me, you ass!
07:50Shh!
07:52Please, sir, don't eat us.
07:54What are you doing here, Shinn? You're barely literate.
07:57I left some good boogers in one of the books.
07:59Can't you go and do something more constructive like play under a train?
08:02Hey, that reminds me, I gotta tell you a secret.
08:05Bastard breath.
08:08What the hell was that all about?
08:10Ah!
08:17Look, this may be a morally devoid socialist facility, but it isn't freaking Hippie Hill. You can't act like yourself, damn it!
08:23If I'm not mistaken, it was you who yelled.
08:25Just let me read in peace and try not to do anything that'll get us into trouble.
08:29Uh-huh, uh-huh. So it's about time to show you my new pet?
08:32I won't fall for that twice. Keep your junk in your shorts.
08:35Let's see. How should I expand my mind today?
08:39Ah, jackpot.
08:43For God's sake, quit molesting me!
08:52Be very quiet!
08:55There's some seats here in the back.
08:59Why are they staring? Did you do something offensive when I wasn't looking?
09:03Well, I did leave a trail of butt-breeze back there.
09:05Don't fart in the library!
09:09If, and, and so, but not, and if, the, penis.
09:15You're skipping all the words you don't know, aren't you?
09:17Yes, I am. How can you tell?
09:19Be caution. Out of the ten words you just spoke, the only one that had more than one syllable was penis.
09:24I like it better this way, thanks.
09:26You would.
09:28And that's when the stranger came.
09:30A man who would change these boys' lives in completely insignificant ways.
09:39Excuse me. My associate and I were actually already sitting there.
09:52It seems this gentleman who is considerably larger than the two of us has decided to take our spot.
09:57What do you think we should do about it?
09:59Well, there's one chair left.
10:01Hey, check it out, Georgie. We're ass-sociates.
10:09Georgie! Georgie! Hey, Georgie!
10:11Can't you keep quiet? I'm reading.
10:13Oh! Do you want to know what I think, though?
10:17No, but get it over with.
10:19Doesn't this guy remind you of Cameron from Ferris Bueller?
10:22Pardon my French, but you're an asshole.
10:25Look, guys, I've got a big drug test at my new job next week,
10:28and if you two little squirts aren't going to behave so I can learn how to pass it, I'll make you into rugs.
10:32Oh, here's a tip. If you have trouble peeing in a cup, just pretend it's a VCR.
10:36You don't know crap.
10:41You, shut your hole.
10:46Or I will eat your life.
10:51That's what librarians do.
10:54Is he the Terminator?
10:56Well, Shin, let's see.
10:58No, you're just dumb.
10:59How come in the first two Terminators we saw the Terminators getting icky,
11:03but when the haughty one came in T3, we didn't see your ass?
11:06Let me read!
11:12Wow, you're lucky he didn't hear you.
11:15Wait, you mean the shouting or my last fart?
11:17Well, a few months ago, I was sitting right here stoned, and I saw that guy dropkick a crying baby.
11:22Are you serious? I thought that was just a myth.
11:25So if I were a bib, would he kick me?
11:28No!
11:32Just wait and you'll see.
11:34So three grams of coke can pass through my system before Tuesday.
11:38But that nug I smoked two weeks back could be a problem.
11:41Are you corrupting me?
11:43But what about that tub full of meth I cooked up?
11:46Hey, Georgie, hey, Georgie, hey.
11:48He's disturbing my fake reading. Can we switch places?
11:51He's probably speaking to work multiple senses for synergistic learning,
11:54a technique I've used for years.
11:56Think about phrases you say out loud all the time.
11:58So often they could be a T-shirt at Suncoast or something.
12:01If you say those phrases over and over again, they get stuck in your head, right?
12:04The difference here is he's studying chemistry and you study poop. Does that make sense?
12:14They test for 794 kinds of weed.
12:17I'm going to need to clean my system fast if I want to pass.
12:20Weeds grow 794 times faster than grass.
12:23Weeds grow 794 times faster than... Huh?
12:28Review. Step 1, don't do drugs. Step 2, pee in the cup.
12:32Review. Step 1, don't do drugs. Step 2, pee in the cup.
12:34Step 2, pee in cup. Step 3, drink it.
12:37Okay. Step 2, pee in the cup. Step 3, drink it.
12:42Black tar heroin is the purest of all opiates.
12:45Black tar heroin is the purest of all opiates.
12:47Black scarred hairy men make the purest loogie spits.
12:49Black scarred hairy men make...
12:54Uh?
12:55Poo!
12:56I got you! I got you! You're busted, you smelly little troll person!
12:59I'm not going to give you any of my stash now, I'm just going to kill you!
13:02I'm tweaking out!
13:04I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
13:06I grovel before your massive feet, great keeper of the library!
13:09Next time I bring the nipple clamps.
13:13A little less action than I was hoping for, but I thought the one-liners were decent.
13:17Could I pay you to leave?
13:20What are you doing now?
13:22I'm building a privacy fence between us so I can finally study in peace.
13:25Uh-huh, uh-huh. Let me help you with that, my friend. You're not doing a very good job.
13:40Behold! The best use of books ever, other than booger storage!
13:53That does it, kid! I'm twice your size!
13:56But I feel six times bigger from this room, so show some respect!
14:06Please, I need those books. I still don't know how much cranberry juice to drink.
14:10This busboy job could really go places.
14:12Oh, hell.
14:14So long, Cameron from Ferris Bueller.
14:17Huh?
14:20We'll continue with our lessons tomorrow. Don't forget to bring your cup!
14:31Disciples for the truthery!
14:33Open up, dumbass!
14:35And yes, you invited us!
14:37You'll be sorry when I catch you!
14:39Not unless you sit on me!
14:41You have to go to practice! I'm not giving back that sword!
14:44I promised myself I could watch TV, and they can't let me down!
14:50Are those the cookies I just made you?
14:52They taste better as weapons!
14:54You're out of ammo now!
14:58Bad baby!
15:02Ha! I gotcha!
15:04Now promise to go to kendo or I'll crush your spine!
15:10Uh, we love to tease.
15:14Stupid baby.
15:16So what is this kendo crap, anyway?
15:18Will there be frosting?
15:20Yeah, will I like it? I've become a picky boy.
15:23I'm sure it's like any other after-school program.
15:25A futile attempt to keep four kids from stealing 40 spray-painted condoms.
15:29No, Georgie! Kendo's the great art of cutting leaves and smashing...
15:32FIES!
15:34I must admit, all this talk of warriors and destruction works for you.
15:37It gives you a manly air. We girls go totally nuts over.
15:41Yes, it's true. I stink of all sorts of manly.
15:45Manly smells like ham, right?
15:48Please don't tell us why your armpits smell like ham, okay?
15:52When you said your teacher was a squatter, I thought it was another dumb potty joke.
15:56Now this is a hovel.
15:58Dildor says don't eat my friends, mate!
16:04Come on! There you go!
16:08Take that, hairs of shame!
16:12Oh, Dildor! You've brought your disciples like I asked you to!
16:17Who's Dildor?
16:19Yeah, Shin said you invited us and we didn't have anything less lame to do.
16:23As Dildor's disciples, you'll become vital in the road ahead.
16:26Except for you, girl. You're the whore.
16:28So where should we sit, Shin?
16:30Not on that damp spot. It's where the darkseed festers now.
16:33Huh?
16:39Feast his figure! Feast his figure! Feast his figure! Feast his figure! Feast his figure!
16:47Wow, he hits just like his mother.
16:49I feel both terrified and strangely warm.
16:52At last, a hobby that doesn't involve privates.
16:55Someone should cabra.
16:58Disciples, will you join us in training?
17:00Seriously?
17:02Seriously?
17:03The arrangement of Cheerios and my milk at the shelter last Sunday
17:06made it clear the participation of your disciples would reveal a key truth.
17:09Yo!
17:10Look, it works better if you don't think too much.
17:13So you're ready to be my disciples and follow my lead and hit stuff?
17:16I'll say yes, purely for curiosity's sake.
17:18Sure, I will.
17:20Until I find someone stronger.
17:22Can we change the subject?
17:23Great, now that you're all on board, here's the deal.
17:26I'm the savior and everyone else is a fly who hates me.
17:29That's called paranoid schizophrenia with delusions of grandeur.
17:32I got an excuse to stab.
17:35I'll start by training Maso.
17:37But, I'm ill-prepared.
17:39Try again.
17:41Pretend you're a boy.
17:47That is an example of how not to do it.
17:51You gotta commit to the carnage.
17:53Feast his figure!
17:55Bring it to life.
17:59I can try.
18:00Visualize. Imagine you're hitting something you hate, like Hillary.
18:04Or the scary kind of pudding.
18:06Well, I do hate bullies.
18:08I'll imagine them.
18:12Three, strapping and fierce.
18:16I'll start with one knuckle and then work my way in.
18:20Get away!
18:22Fine, just do what you will.
18:24You realize what imaginary means, right?
18:26Why don't you fight them then? They'll break you too!
18:29How can I fight your imagin-
18:31Oh, screw it.
18:32What's going on?
18:35Now Maso said there were three opponents and there's only one me.
18:38This requires a more sophisticated divide-and-conquer strategy.
18:41I'll attack the strongest, that's obvious.
18:43Then I'll dismiss the weakest as a fringe bully,
18:45accuse the media of bias,
18:47and smear the third as a sex-crazed pinko.
18:50Here I come!
18:52Ready or not!
18:57You can't play dirty too, that's my racket.
19:02Dammit, Georgie, you're overthinking it.
19:04Violence isn't that hard.
19:10I'll show you jerkholes how it's done.
19:12I'm disrespectful to women.
19:14You can never underestimate verbal abuse power.
19:18Shut up!
19:19You wussy-faced twits better start running or I'm gonna make you fucking scream.
19:23Holy hell, she did it, Mom! She cut off both of my balls!
19:26And if you dicks think I'm bluffing, I've got a happiness bunny who can show you the gaping hole that used to be his insides.
19:31Face this figure!
19:35And if they come back, they bleed.
19:39Face this figure! Face this figure! Face this figure!
19:45Wow, every home should have a gun and a sword.
19:47There's room to improve the battle cry, though.
19:49Cause brain hemorrhage!
19:51Cause brain hemorrhage!
19:53Hey, that is peppier. Oh, I feel so rough and tumble.
19:59There's something strange about this disciple.
20:01His lack of movement, his seeming brain death.
20:04There's only one explanation.
20:06The Cream Children have taken over his body to send me a message.
20:09This is the Cheerios revelation.
20:12You fell asleep standing up again.
20:14Oh.
20:15Flark!
20:17Why have they caused Dildor to interact with him?
20:20Why make Dildor attack a frozen boy of that age with his sword?
20:24What are they trying to tell me?
20:26Oh, of course!
20:28It's a metaphor for the Alkoskabe Kendo Championship,
20:31which must be the site for the Dipterranean Surge!
20:34I hear your message, Cream Children! We're ready!
20:37What is Gary Loudback talking about?
20:39Beats me! He's nuts! I'm just in it for the laughs!
20:42And so, with the training complete, Kenta declared a time of frolic and repose.
20:47An ass-loving boy has become a messiah.
20:49A false mother has learned the joy of hard wood.
20:51And a dim-witted Frenchman has discovered he is an albino titan
20:54and has journeyed to his destiny in the mountains of Afghanistan.
20:57But the real trials remain,
20:59for soon Dildor will wage his first battle for the universe
21:02in a tournament the likes of which have never been seen in any anime ever.
21:06And as they wait, there remains only one pertinent question.
21:10Why hasn't anybody called the Crazy House yet?
21:19Woof!
21:49Party, party, party, party, join us, join us!
21:51Party, party, join us, join us!
21:53Party, party, join us, join us!
21:55Shake your day away and you can
21:56Party, party, join us, join us!
21:58Party, party, join us, join us!
21:59Party, party, join us, join us!
22:01Shake your blues away!
22:06Yo! We're getting vacation, Mom!
22:09This party's shaking and it ain't just shaking me
22:12I see that smile grinning ear to ear
22:15Singing this song and you should really sing it clear
22:18Just sing along with us!
22:23Party, party, join us, join us!
22:25Party, party, join us, join us!
22:26Party, party, join us, join us!
22:28Shake your day away and you can
22:29Party, party!
22:31Oh, I'm back for sure!
22:33Party!
22:34Yeah, no party it is!
22:36Party, party!