CRAYON SHINCHAN クレヨンしんちゃん EP43
anime,jdrama,cartoon
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:011, 2, 3, 4!
00:05Shin-Chan!
00:13Admission Impossible!
00:17Previously on Shin-Chan,
00:19Yanro took his college entrance exam for the fifth time.
00:22Upon completion, the proctor told him he was getting a high C,
00:25which Yanro thought meant he had passed with a C+.
00:28In fact, the test was sponsored by high C fruit-inspired beverages.
00:32Hey! Would you quit hanging on my ass like a fracking Klingon?
00:35Yes, nerd!
00:36Yanro failed to make the connection,
00:38even when handed an ecto-cooler.
00:42Don't pace in front of me either, you turd!
00:45Okay, then where am I supposed to pace?
00:47Why do you have to pace? And if you're gonna do it, go home!
00:50Huh? Wait, I'm not at home?
00:52No, you're not.
00:53And you can tell that an obnoxious youngling does not live here
00:56because there are no children's toys strewn about.
00:59Hey, dropout, what's in this drawer?
01:01Jeez, you have the attention span of a paramecium!
01:03Now get away from there!
01:06Thought you said there weren't any toys.
01:08They're not toys! They're Ultraman collectibles!
01:11Then I think you got ripped off because they look like toys to me.
01:14They're from the film Baby Ultraman versus the cuddle monsters!
01:18Just to be safe, I better take these back to my lab to investigate
01:21and make sure they aren't any fun to play with, like real toys.
01:23Those are extremely rare!
01:25I stopped making them when the film was pulled
01:27due to Ultraman's six-minute masturbation scene.
01:30Stupid question, but are you hungry?
01:32Yeah.
01:34What are we eating?
01:36Red Snapper, your school's mascot.
01:38Right, tomorrow's the day you find out you flunked.
01:41Thought you'd be too nervous to eat.
01:43I can eat, I just can't keep it in my bowels for long.
01:45Now I'm giving you a Pabst.
01:47I'm not saying you passed.
01:49Just a brand of beer.
01:51Got it. Thanks for being so understanding.
01:53You're giving me this meal even after those premature fish biscuits?
01:56Don't know how I'll ever thank you.
01:58You're stuffing your faces, thanks enough.
02:00Enough to tide us over until you're filthy rich instead of just filthy.
02:03He's a nerd, and all nerds eventually get rich,
02:06and they have no vices to blow their wads of cash on,
02:08so he'll have to blow it on us.
02:10Greetings, and welcome to my humblest mansion.
02:13I invented something too nerdy for you to imagine in a dream sequence.
02:17Suppose I offered you a million dollars for one night with your wife?
02:20Just think of it as one dollar for every pound you'll have writhing on top of you.
02:28Hey, are you folks high or something?
02:30I don't think so. They look the same height to me.
02:33So, you ever find your test ID number?
02:36Yeah, it was in my pants pocket.
02:38You should memorize it.
02:39Yeah, I looked at it before I came. It's 9861.
02:42They give you a test ID number based on how many times you failed? That's cruel.
02:51Thanks for dinner.
02:53What's wrong? Shin's made at least 9,000 jokes about you failing.
02:57That one?
03:00We could have been rich!
03:03Nerdly, the next day.
03:05You're looking better this morning.
03:07You feeling good?
03:08I'm a total failure.
03:10Oh, boy.
03:11Shin's right. Like any show featuring a friend's cast member, I fail each time I try.
03:16I just don't think I can take the rejection.
03:18I just don't think I can take the rejection again.
03:20Oh, you're kidding me.
03:22If you were going to quit, you should have done it a long time ago.
03:25Yanro, visualize your number on that board.
03:29I could try that.
03:31That's right. And it's a beautiful day.
03:34That's a good sign, right?
03:36Mm-hmm.
03:37Last time and the time before and the time before and the time before that, there was beautiful weather.
03:43The weather's got nothing to do with that.
03:45Yeah, don't be so superstitious.
03:47I just can't bear to see that board without my number on it.
03:50Don't give up on us.
03:55Come on. As your male role model, I'm telling you to man up.
03:58Can you go instead?
03:59But I don't want to.
04:01It's fine. My number won't be up there anyway.
04:04If you're too scared to look, you should just turn in your testicles now.
04:07He's right.
04:08There's a lot scarier things in life, like seeing Mom's face without her makeup on.
04:12Yeah, that's bad, man.
04:15You think that's scary, huh?
04:17You haven't even seen scary.
04:21Yes, my lady.
04:23Yanro, get your cowardly ass out of bed.
04:26Okay.
04:27I really hate to do this, Yanro, but somebody's got to slap some sense into you.
04:31Now go out there and face your future like a man.
04:34And make sure you bring that slip of paper with your number on it, just in case you forget it again.
04:38Yeah. Maybe I should get a tattoo to my arm, like those guys in Schindler's List.
04:43I bet they never forgot their numbers.
04:45You can do it.
04:46Knock him dead.
04:49He can't do anything.
04:52So you can't tie your shoes. Why not try Velcro?
04:55I hear it's making a comeback.
04:57I can do Velcro.
04:59Velcro's for nerds.
05:01Would you shut up?
05:03Well, so long.
05:05Good luck, Yanro.
05:10He slipped on a banana peel.
05:12I thought that only happened on cartoons.
05:15He can't do anything.
05:17You okay?
05:18I think.
05:19That's not a bad sign.
05:21Just because you failed...
05:23I mean, just because you fell doesn't mean you're going to fail.
05:26But he will.
05:27You're not helping.
05:28Well, so long, guys.
05:30Good luck, Yanro.
05:36He can't do anything.
05:37Should we go help him?
05:38I guess, as long as I don't have to touch him again.
05:43Oh, there it is.
05:54Oh, my arch nemesis.
05:56Move it, Beto.
05:58Oh, sorry.
05:59Wait.
06:01Hey, what the frack are you doing here?
06:03Making sure you don't wuss out.
06:05I'm not going to wuss out.
06:06Then why aren't you moving?
06:08Oh.
06:11I... I can't.
06:13Oh, I need my charcoal.
06:16Look, it's the entire cast of Battlestar Galactic in naked.
06:19What?
06:21This might be my only chance to see Jimmy Bamber without a towel.
06:24Hey, what?
06:25Now find your number, Dropout.
06:30Okay, it all comes down to this.
06:32If my number's on that board, I'm in.
06:39Oh!
06:44Nine, eight, six, one.
06:49Nine, eight, six, one.
06:51Sorry, Dropout.
06:52Better luck next year.
06:56Hey, that number looks an awful lot like yours.
07:01Hey!
07:02Huh?
07:03Woo-hoo!
07:05I did it all!
07:07I did it! I finally frackin' did it!
07:09And it only took me five tries!
07:11I'm in college!
07:13Suck it, world!
07:15I may have failed four times.
07:16I accidentally signed up for the wrong test.
07:18Well, meet your new classmates, people.
07:20But none of that matters now,
07:22because I'm in college!
07:24It's okay. Let it all out.
07:26Congratulations again, but this time for real.
07:30Here you go, Yanro.
07:33This should prepare you to be a college man.
07:35Just remember us when you're a hot-shot college grad
07:37who can afford gold, elephants, and chicks in animal print.
07:40Hey, I've got an elephant. Wanna see?
07:43I thought this day would never come.
07:45But you never stopped believing in me.
07:47Yeah, and don't you forget it.
07:53All those superstitions didn't amount to anything.
07:56See? Told you so.
07:58You know what?
07:59When I got my number, I knew it was a good luck sign.
08:01Then your short circuit came out.
08:04You remember that now?
08:06Short circuit?
08:09Anyone mind if I start a strip?
08:11You idiot! You wrote the paper upside down.
08:13Sorry, this booth's for 9861.
08:15Wait! 1986 could be on that board we didn't check!
08:19Oh, no. I fracked up again.
08:24Hmm. Now you'll never get to drop out.
08:28You like me. You really like me, right?
08:31Play in 2X.
08:44Yeah!
08:46Thank you for coming.
08:47I'll be signing DVDs of the show and novelty sitars in the lobby by this borough.
08:52Oh! Is that...
08:55Oh! Widesman Elko!
08:57I had no idea you'd be coming, sir!
09:02You, I didn't really respond to your performance.
09:05It needs some workshopping.
09:07Also, you need a makeover.
09:09That pancake job ain't cutting it!
09:12I'm putting you out!
09:14I promise I'll take your notes!
09:16Just sign me to your agency!
09:23Ah, my Pellegrino.
09:25Why I sign up for Soul Widesman Elko's open talent search?
09:28It's dominating my every thought.
09:30Just gotta chill and have the best audition ever.
09:34Oh?
09:35Hey, you, you!
09:36So clever.
09:37Thanks for watching Hima.
09:39And for not rehearsing.
09:40Shin's so scared from the last time he's wetting our bed.
09:43Yeah.
09:44What's up? You seem down, you.
09:46Oh, no.
09:47Okay. Well, you know I'm not one to pry.
09:49See you later, you.
09:50Oh, and thanks again!
09:52Bye, Hima!
09:53Hey, daddy!
09:56Oh, Mitzi, I do want you to pry.
09:58I've never been more nervous in my life.
10:00But this isn't like me.
10:02Usually I'm so excited to act.
10:04Like when I did Glen Gary Glen Ross.
10:07I made 970,000 last year.
10:10How much did you make?
10:11You see, Pelle, that's who I am, and you're nothing.
10:14Nice guy?
10:15I don't give a shit.
10:16Good father, fuck you.
10:17Go home and play with your kids.
10:22Boo!
10:23I'm sorry, but the third line really bummed me.
10:25Do you have any pieces from TV dramedies?
10:27How about something from Grey's Anatomy?
10:31I'm also shocked you'd come to my agency so out of shape.
10:35Tighten up your fat thighs, ass, and titties.
10:38And get some new head shots!
10:42I'm gonna get salt out of my head!
10:47Yo!
10:48Hey, babe, throw the ball!
10:51Oh, it's you, you. What's up?
10:53Shit, I'm really depressed.
10:55Well, maybe you should try getting repressed.
10:57What?
10:58Oh, doesn't matter.
11:00Okay.
11:01Shit!
11:02Let's go while we're young! Throw it!
11:05Go get it!
11:07You're ruining America's favorite pastime.
11:10You and that bitch Mitchell.
11:12Are you sad because you're not acting in a movie right now?
11:15Something kind of like that.
11:17Fart that frown upside down, miss you.
11:21Now watch me closely.
11:24My name is Stu.
11:25When I go poo, it smells like a chug that you.
11:27Chug that you.
11:28Some poo for you.
11:29Let's all eat my poo-poo stew.
11:30Poo-poo stew.
11:31Poo-poo stew.
11:32Number two.
11:33My mom and you.
11:34Find it at the nearest loo.
11:35Poo-poo stew!
11:37Hey, girls, would you like a nice bowl of poo-poo stew?
11:40I brewed it myself.
11:41Come on, sir, try the stew.
11:43She reminds me of me before I lost my acting mojo.
11:46Maybe I do need poo-poo stew.
11:48A stance, a stance, a stance, a stance, oh yeah!
11:53Cossack dancing.
11:54I'm a Russian Cossack.
11:55He means Cossack.
11:56I'm a Russian Cossack.
11:58Do you think I should take my shirt off now, too?
12:00No, thanks.
12:01Teach me, Shin.
12:03You want me to teach?
12:04Me teach you?
12:05Yes, my child.
12:06I have to impress the toughest agent in town, and I need your fearlessness.
12:10Show me.
12:11I beg you, Shin.
12:12Help me beat my fears and give the best audition ever.
12:15Okay, I'll do it, but I have one condition.
12:17It's something that my mom can never find out about,
12:20and you probably won't like it, but it's going to need to happen.
12:22What? I'll do anything.
12:24I want to touch your boobies.
12:26A real handful, but you can't tell because I'll get in trouble
12:29and have to introduce myself as a sexy offender.
12:32I'm Shinohara, and I like to touch boobies.
12:37I'm sorry for what I did. They just look so bouncy.
12:41Okay, A, no way, and B, you wouldn't become a sex offender.
12:45No boobies, no deal.
12:47I guess I'll have to find another apprentice
12:49to teach the ancient art of cocksack ass dancing.
12:52Fine, how about this?
12:53Yes?
12:54One half-eaten fudge bar.
12:56Tsk, tsk, tsk. You have to give me that and my body weight in chocopies.
13:00It's a deal.
13:01Then we shall begin the lesson.
13:03Yes, I bow before you, acting master.
13:07Where the hell did he throw that ball, damn it?
13:10And why am I smelling matzah and noodles?
13:13Huh?
13:16That Shin is magnificent, better than Efron.
13:19He's perfect for my agency's stable of sexy young Disney Channel himbos.
13:28Someone from the evilest group of all, showbiz.
13:31Just walk away and don't look back.
13:34Huh?
13:40Don't, don't hurt me, I love showbiz liberals.
13:45Gotta get to Dad at the embassy.
13:50Ass dance is both science and art.
13:52Yes, my guru.
13:55Shin, it's finally happening.
13:57Hollywood's trying to kill the world's conservatives.
13:59That's cool.
14:00We gotta run.
14:01I saw a real Tinseltown agent.
14:03Despite his Obama donating ways, he had a gun.
14:05He's a liberal Hollywood hypocrite.
14:09If anyone needs me, I'll be hiding at the embassy.
14:11Go ahead and keep my ball, Shin.
14:15You, are you ready?
14:16Yes, let's dance.
14:20There are way too many people around, Shin.
14:22I know, it's perfect.
14:23Now dance and get your mojo back.
14:25I'm not pulling down my pants in public.
14:28Fine, no ass dance, but you can hula.
14:30Watch me close the end.
14:32Butthole pee pee, butthole pee pee, butthole pee pee, shake your booty.
14:42If I could just be that fearless in front of White Spinoco.
14:45End scene.
14:47Okay, you, it's your turn now.
14:51I think I'm just gonna give up signing with a big agency and just do dinner theater.
14:55You smell that?
14:56It smells like a coward's fearful yellow fart.
14:59Maybe it'd be better if I had a costume.
15:01The hula, quit stalling and go.
15:04Yes, guru.
15:05Right away, guru, I'm sorry.
15:09Butthole pee pee.
15:11Butthole pee pee, butthole pee pee, butthole pee pee.
15:18Louder, I want the world to hear about your pee.
15:20Okay.
15:21Bend over.
15:22Butthole pee pee, butthole pee pee, footy tooties, footy tooties.
15:32Fruity Toot Tootie?
15:35Butthole pee pee, butthole pee pee, fruity toot toot tootie.
15:52She's never going to get an agent with that attitude.
15:57Yo, you!
15:59You can't get your mojo back by puking.
16:02This is all just too soon.
16:03Oh? But aren't you meeting with that big-shot agent dude tomorrow?
16:08I must sign that boy. He's brilliant.
16:10He's a great actor and a great acting coach.
16:13You do know stalking is a crime?
16:15I've done all I can do.
16:16No!
16:17You know, there's nothing wrong with being nervous for a big audition.
16:20There was once a time when I would get nervous peeing in a cup for the doctor.
16:24Shin's right.
16:25Auditioning for Saul White's Minako is like peeing in a cup.
16:28It's hard and brutal and your hands get stinky,
16:30but it's something you've got to do if you want to improve your life.
16:34Okay, not a great metaphor.
16:35You want this so bad that you're overthinking.
16:37Just relax and let out your peace-slash-love of acting.
16:41If Shin can turn her into a decent actress,
16:43imagine how far I'll be able to ride him.
16:46The point is I'm ready again.
16:48Ready to do sitarist on the roof in front of Saul White's Minako.
16:51Do you want to do the hula with me, Shin?
16:54Loosen it up.
16:55One, two, three.
16:57Butthole pee-pee, butthole pee-pee.
17:03Butthole pee-pee.
17:07I can't believe I'm actually doing this.
17:11Soon 10% of that ass will be mine.
17:13Shake your booty, shake your booty.
17:15So, can I get that boob squeeze now?
17:16Stop it.
17:17Shake your booty, shake your booty.
17:19You wanna sing your song?
17:21Let's do it, Shin. I'm not afraid anymore.
17:23Ready?
17:23My name is Yu.
17:24When I go poo, it smells like a big chocolate shoe.
17:27Some poo for you, my poo-poo's too.
17:29One cup for two, butthole pee-pee.
17:33You like me, you really like me, right, actor?
17:44Here we go.
17:45Oh, today's your agent meeting, huh?
17:49Is this for porno?
17:51Um, thanks, you guys.
17:53Did you vomit in terror last night?
17:55Not once.
17:56I can help you puke if you need it.
17:57No, really, guys, I feel fine.
17:59Does that go for your feet, too?
18:01I guess I am a little nervous.
18:04I once went to work with a pizza slice on my coat.
18:07And at work, I used to wear pizza on my coat.
18:09Oh, well, thanks for your, uh, support, Yanro.
18:12Well, I'm off to meet White's Minako.
18:14Hey, break a leg!
18:18Please don't sue us.
18:21I was just acting, folks. Bye.
18:27Hey, Shin, thanks for finding my mojo.
18:30Banzai!
18:31Banzai!
18:33Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
18:37Oh, that was fun!
18:39That was fun!
18:41Don't puke, don't puke, don't puke!
18:44Do you feel like you're gonna puke?
18:46Wha? Oh, I'll be okay.
18:49Do I feel like puking? I was just saying it!
18:51Ben's trying to psych me out!
18:53Welcome to Tolerated Artist.
18:54Can I have all actors doing monologues from Breakfast Club and or Hamlet line up?
18:58That's me. Wish me luck, puke.
19:00Ooh, good luck!
19:01Whore.
19:03Now can I have monologues from-
19:04Wow, this talent search is really dragging on.
19:07Rambo, first blood.
19:09Hey, make sure to mention Inokiya.
19:11Did she say Rambo?
19:13That means I'm next! Oh, I feel like I'm gonna poo and puke together!
19:16Okay, okay, you calm down!
19:18Remember Shin's training, and you'll ace this audition, think!
19:22Cocksack cock cocky, cocksack cock cocky, cocksack cock cocky, hey, hey, hey!
19:27Cocksack cock cocky, cocksack cock cocky, cocksack cock cocky, hey, hey, hey!
19:32Yeah, that's it, you've got it!
19:33You've come so far as a performer.
19:36I salute you, for you are now a true master of ass.
19:39It's obvious how this will help my acting.
19:42Watch me do this monologue from first blood!
19:44What? Rambo?
19:46Okay, here goes! This is the scene from the end where Rambo goes crazy!
19:51Fade in, and...
19:52And I've got blood and everything, and I am trying to hold it together,
19:55the guy's fucking insides keep coming out!
19:58Oh, God...
20:00And nobody would help! I mean, nobody would help!
20:03He said, I want to go home, I want to go home, and he keeps calling my name!
20:07I want to go home, Johnny, I want to drive my Chevy, and I said, what?
20:10I can't find your fucking legs!
20:12Johnny, I can't find your legs.
20:17Scene.
20:17That was unbelievable!
20:19So incredibly moving!
20:21It was almost as emotional as that scene from Killer Cop 4
20:23when Killer strangles the old woman who might be a terrorist!
20:25Can you do that scene next?
20:27Yeah, why not?
20:28And I know you're good enough to do that scene
20:30where Killer throws his cheating wife through the window!
20:32Do you think?
20:34You'll get signed for sure!
20:35Wish you could be my agent.
20:37I'd rather coach. Now do Killer!
20:39Yeah! I shoot kids!
20:47Okay, everybody doing Rambo monologues, go ahead and line up single file, please.
20:50Oh, yes!
20:53Remember, don't make eye contact with Mr. Weitzmanoko.
20:57That girl Shin's coaching!
20:58Sign her and I'm one step closer to him!
21:03Aw, don't worry, Shin. I'm sure you's doing fine.
21:06It's not that, Dad.
21:07All right, then. What's the matter?
21:10I hope that she still won't let me touch her boobs.
21:12Huh? Yeah, you're too young.
21:15When you're older, the boob touch will happen naturally,
21:17along with the suspension from sixth grade.
21:19You're smart.
21:20I watch a lot of TV.
21:22Too bad all your smarts couldn't lend you a hotter chick than Mom.
21:25I don't know why I'm still nervous. The others are horrible.
21:29We don't have time to be delicate. Rambo, just force it in.
21:32Oh, God, yeah, that's it! That's it! That's it!
21:33Okay, thanks. We'll call you if we want you.
21:35It's been an honor, Mr. Weitzmanoko.
21:37Does anyone have a non-air sex scene?
21:40Yes!
21:44My name is Yu. Thank you for having me.
21:46And which scene are you doing first?
21:47Hold on!
21:49I'll sign you, but for the purposes of this charade, I'll give you a simple scene.
21:53How about you improv something from a script that'll never sell?
21:56Your noodles, sir.
21:59How about a scene from, uh, Ghost 2, uh, subtitled Whoopi's Cushion of Fear?
22:03You're Demi Moore, and you just got a paranormal STD from Swayze.
22:07Shouldn't I never do the improv?
22:09I don't understand what you're doing.
22:11Chill, Brad. Don't embarrass me.
22:13You're in, but you're still gonna act something.
22:16I'm already in? He's gotta be testing me.
22:18Remember the fruity poopy dance!
22:21Don't humiliate us all!
22:24I swear I won't fail you, sir!
22:26Good!
22:32Don't go yet! Spectral Swayze, you gave me...
22:37You gave me an STD from that time on the subway!
22:40I think it's because your penis is covered with those ghost sores!
22:43Now I itch up and down my legs!
22:45Her acting's so good, I actually feel like my genitals itch!
22:48I found a doctor from Mexico who works on ghosts!
22:50And in the meantime, I'll let you smear clay from my putter's wheel all over my lady parts.
22:54It'll soothe the burning! No! Don't go!
23:00Swayze, don't leave me!
23:04I can't believe I wanted to have a freakish ghost child with you!
23:11Spectral Swayze, it itches!
23:14Forget Shin! Kids are bitches to work with anyway! Use the real deal!
23:18Look at this! She's made my groin and feet itch with an imaginary paranormal rash!
23:24I should still try to get some casting couch action out of her, though.
23:28Spectral Swayze, come back! The shadow creatures have me now!
23:31Oh, God! They heard I have fake boobs!
23:38Where'd you get that jacket, hero?
23:40I was in the lost and found at the office.
23:42I bet you blew it. I mean, I like your Don Johnson jacket.
23:46She better do well. I sent her five good luck texts.
23:49Ah! Don't talk about her! You'll jinx it!
23:51Wait, guys!
23:52What? Do you have to pee?
23:54No, but I know I know where you is!
24:00Oh.
24:01She looks sad.
24:03She must not have impressed them.
24:05Yeah.
24:06The water looks like the sky on Detective Comics number 27.
24:10I've never known rejection by older men.
24:12Okay.
24:15Shin, stop! Don't bug her!
24:17Don't you pee in that water!
24:19Hey, you!
24:22She's smiling.
24:26Sorry, you!
24:31What are you guys doing all the way down here? Is it to see me?
24:34We were just on a neighborhood crime watch.
24:36Sorry, Shin's a pest.
24:37I'll tell you about the audition, if you want.
24:38Don't need to relive it. I've failed lots of times.
24:40Yeah, older men suck at telling when I'm acting, too.
24:43Summer?
24:44You know, in the books, Obi-Wan failed his first Jedi test.
24:47Take that back!
24:49He was a hero!
24:52Banzai?
24:53Mm-hmm.
25:07Everything seems awkward to me.
25:08Nothing's just as it should be.
25:10If this keeps on, I'm sure I won't get by.
25:13But then I close my eyes and try to smile.
25:17I know things are bad and getting worse.
25:20But after all this, I can rest a while.
25:23And then I'll party, party, party, party.
25:26Join us, join us, party, party.
25:28Join us, join us, party, party.
25:29Join us, join us, shake your day away.
25:31And you can party, party, join us, join us.
25:33Party, party, join us, join us.
25:35Party, party, join us, join us.
25:37Shake your blues away.
25:42Yo, we're getting vacation, huh?
25:45This heart is shaking and it ain't just shaking here.
25:48I see that smile grinning ear to ear.
25:51Sing this song and you should really sing it clear.
25:54Just sing along with us.
25:59Party, party, join us, join us.
26:00Party, party, join us, join us.
26:02Party, party, join us, join us.
26:04Shake your day away and you can party, party.
26:07Oh, I grabbed your shoe.
26:09Party.
26:10I know what party it is.
26:12Party, party.