CRAYON SHINCHAN クレヨンしんちゃん EP50
anime,jdrama,cartoon
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:011, 2, 3, ha!
00:05Yeah, yeah!
00:09Gotta got hiccup to get down!
00:13Those of you with ADHD, stay outside for your additional 8 minutes of state-mandated crazy time.
00:18I'll be king!
00:20Never, fiend!
00:21If I knock you off the top, it's part of the game!
00:23Will you please move for the upwardly mobile one in the group?
00:26I'd watch out, cause I got a trouser cuff with your name on it.
00:30Sneeze, burp, fart, muzzle!
00:31Okay, throw! On the count of go!
00:34Sneeze, burp, fart, go!
00:36The fates have spoken.
00:38Don't gas me! This isn't a Moscow theater!
00:40Unfortunately for you, I had ribs.
00:42Someone should send you to finishing school.
00:44I'm over this.
00:45I've already tried to finish school, but mom says I have at least 40 more years. You want fries with that?
00:51Learn to clench, Shin.
00:52The rise of the British Empire can be directly linked to the ability to control farts.
00:56I'll have you know I clench daily, but not to keep things in.
00:59Mostly to push them out.
01:01Like that one and this one.
01:03You're so moronic, you're not even worth pandering to!
01:06Is everyone getting enough exercise to counteract the thousand calories of bastard fish you drink from the totally free vending machines?
01:13In hindsight, that might have been a poor use of your parents' tuition checks.
01:18Inch, thank goodness you're here. Georgie is complaining about my gas condition again.
01:22I hate you.
01:23Have you kids seen Miss Polly or Mr. K? I can't find them anywhere, and the rope from the flagpole has gone missing, too.
01:29You won't tarnish my record this time, Shin. Admit you're at fault here.
01:32I can't clench and listen to you.
01:34Then unclench.
01:38Did Miss Teacher's butt scrape?
01:40Who me? No, I'm pretty sure that came from Shin, kids.
01:43No way. Mine sounded much more like a tuba.
01:46Well, I hate to say it, but grown-up women do fart, too, you know.
01:52We shouldn't be embarrassed unless it comes out the wrong hole.
01:55If farting's okay, why do I get timeouts?
01:58Because yours are filthy.
02:00Miss Teacher, are you a hippo-tet?
02:06Eyes like death spears.
02:08I've really worked my way into a corner here. Oh, hell.
02:11Does Doyle mind when you pass ass?
02:15No, he loves me just the way I am.
02:17What's that like?
02:22Doyle likes it. Right.
02:27What other lies does he tell you?
02:29That you still look good in lingerie and he likes it with the light off because he thinks he's a fat ass?
02:33Very funny, but I think the real question here is if a woman never has a boyfriend, does she really exist?
02:38Much like that tree in the woods.
02:40You want questions?
02:41How about does your boyfriend really exist if he can only get it up if you're giving him an oral Rittenbacher?
02:49Dammit, would you stop interrupting our fight?
02:52Although I do have to say that's probably a dead-on impression of the noises your vagina made last night.
02:57Huh. At least I can say I drive a stick shift instead of an auto-erotic.
03:01Shut your ugly face!
03:02Ladies, let's put the clothes away before someone loses an ojo and things start getting interesting.
03:07Why don't you both go back to your classroom a little early and put on some makeup?
03:11Okay, enough of this fart crap. Let's play house.
03:14Well, I can be house boy.
03:17Or is that just in the trap? Thanks.
03:24Whoa! That's my name.
03:27We know.
03:28Hey, you know what I heard? If you write your name on your hand and swallow it, your hiccups go away for sure.
03:34Since you'd be dead, I guess technically that's true.
03:36Have you considered ass dance therapy?
03:38I don't want to do that.
03:40Ignore him, Maso, and let me handle this. Take a deep breath and hold it in.
03:45See, hiccups are little more than a reflex.
03:47You must have swallowed air or something else your stomach doesn't like.
03:50Holding your breath helps your body reset.
03:52That's not what causes hiccups.
03:53Well then, please, enlighten me.
03:55Loss of self.
03:56You don't even know what that means. You're a total nincompoop.
03:59Interesting. Since that has the word poop in it, I will agree for now.
04:05This is not working.
04:07Maso, you are aware that if you hiccup 100 times in a row, you die a horrible, painful hiccup death, aren't you?
04:12No, no, that's the plot of the Ring prequel.
04:14I don't want to die. My uncle says I haven't reached my full potential yet, because I still suck at cribbage.
04:21Relax, she's just totally joking.
04:23Is he really, though?
04:24Nope, I'm not.
04:25What am I up to?
04:27You've hiccuped 60 times. My figures are counting.
04:30Yeah, and Boo's hands are ridiculously good at math.
04:33Are you sure? I feel like that went really fast.
04:37I've never heard of someone dying of hiccups.
04:39You're much more likely to die of that new flesh-eating bacteria strain.
04:43You're right, it's silly.
04:44Maybe you've never heard of it, because everyone else was lucky enough to stop before they hit 100.
04:50But somewhere in Dimension X, one man faces the truth.
04:5499 hiccups.
04:57100!
05:01You're full of it.
05:04Look, Maso, I was just trying to scare you because I heard that stopped hiccups.
05:08But if my sweet ghost story skills don't work, then I guess you will die.
05:11Hiccups don't kill people.
05:13Guys, let's be reasonable.
05:14Can't we all rally around the common goal of playing House? I mean, it'd be for Maso.
05:18For me? How can it help to play House at a time like this?
05:21Got a better idea, huh?
05:24I'm at the Great Cliff of Mortality and you're yawning?
05:28So, any lame last words for us?
05:30How many times have I hiccuped?
05:3293 and a half.
05:37What's Shin do this time?
05:39Maso, stupid hiccups won't stop, man.
05:41Okay, come on, Maso. They'll stop once you drink some water.
05:44You'll really cry over anything, won't you?
05:46With those waterworks, you'd think we were back at the New Hampshire Primary.
05:51Don't you defend her!
05:53No, I just realized we all have bodily functions but you.
05:56I fart, Boo snots, Penny bleeds from her Band-Aids, Maso hiccups.
05:59Funny I never see you do any of those things.
06:01Hello, are you human?
06:03Of course I'm human, dumbass.
06:05I'm just a decent one who wasn't raised in a barn or a methane factory.
06:09I think I'm gonna go with alien.
06:11Add illegal to that and I'll smack you.
06:13Something's always been off about you with your odd knowledge of American politics.
06:16I don't think you're American at all.
06:18You better check yourself, pal.
06:20The space planes are coming for you, Georgie.
06:22Are you ready to travel back to the sun?
06:24I can't believe it, George is saying they'll come.
06:26There's no such thing as UFOs, stupid.
06:28Why don't you go play with Kucinich?
06:30I gotta go. I don't want to be taken too.
06:33I'm gonna smash your face.
06:44Are you alright, Georgie?
06:46Sorry, but this is what happens when you engage in horseplay.
06:49She needs to be humiliated.
06:51Is water poisonous to your alien skin?
06:55I'll kill you!
06:58I know how you feel, Georgie, but you need to learn to internalize your anger towards shamans.
07:03Hey, look, did Maso just die?
07:05Oh, no.
07:06They're gone, guys! My hiccups went away!
07:09That's wonderful, Maso.
07:11I have happy.
07:13Shucks, Maso, I really thought your death was gonna put this place on the map.
07:17Sorry.
07:18Anybody remember me talking about hiccups and how it's beyond impossible to die from them?
07:24Gah!
07:26Whoa! You sneezed! You are human!
07:29That's what you get for being in wet clothes for too long, Georgie.
07:32Well, that and a yeast infection.
07:34I'm sorry for what I said, old friend.
07:36Except for the space planes bit, because that was funny.
07:38Shut up.
07:44Whoa, that was actually pretty neat, Georgie.
07:46I can tell it came from an honest place.
07:48Now all we have to do is wait for you to get a life threatening case of the hiccups,
07:51and you'll be what I like to call a triple threat.
08:01Daddy's Day Scare!
08:05If you're skipping work, go keep Shin occupied.
08:08He got sent home early again for playing Super Pooper.
08:11Okay.
08:12Apparently this time he wasn't wearing any super pants.
08:15Okay.
08:16Aren't they used to his games by now?
08:20And ass.
08:22What time is it?
08:24I'm so tight and stressed, even with a solid 13 hours of sleep under my belt.
08:29Maybe I should start exercising again.
08:32Hey, I bet Shin'll love helping his daddy-o get back into shape.
08:35It's not like he's ever doing much all lonely and antisocial.
08:39Why do I feel so empty inside?
08:42Shin, my son!
08:43Wanna play catch with the world's best daddy?
08:46Oh, yes, Papa!
08:47Love.
08:48You've saved me from a life of boredom and drugs!
08:51Come to me, my child!
08:53Slow-motion love hug!
08:56Father-son moment!
09:02There's no better way for a father to get in shape than with help from his needing-to-be-loved son.
09:06Here goes.
09:07Take this, Satyakula!
09:09Hey, Shin, you wanna play ball with your old man?
09:12What?
09:13Why would I wanna do that when Action Bastard's on?
09:15Go play with my mom.
09:18Your mom left, and I'm way cooler than that Action Bastard.
09:21You really wanna go there?
09:23Hey!
09:24Enough joking around. Let's go outside and play.
09:26Not right now, Dad.
09:28We can play catch, maybe get you stuck in a storm drain.
09:31Stop, Dad! You gave me tickle chills! I hate tickle chills!
09:34How did we get to this place?
09:36You love it.
09:37Are you like this with Mom when you don't have school?
09:39Yeah, but I usually pee more.
09:41Well, how about instead of peeing, we throw the ball around?
09:44I appreciate your enthusiasm, Dad, really.
09:47But while it looks like I'm napping, my mind's a creative machine.
09:50I'm planning a very full schedule, and that's not gonna make the cut.
09:53Hmm. If you don't like any of my suggestions, then tell me what you do wanna do.
10:03Oh, give me a break! I didn't skip going to work to do this all day!
10:07So how did you skip work this time, Netherbaum Threat?
10:10No, new strategy. I used the day of my paternity leave.
10:13Smooth move.
10:14Uh, come to think of it, if I don't show up with a third kid to the company picnic, I could be in a lot of trouble.
10:19So since I don't feel like entertaining you all day, how about we play a game you liked as a kid?
10:24What? Hmm. What did I do? Smut wasn't nearly as easy to find as it is now.
10:29I remember! I actually created my own superheroes and made little comic books for them!
10:34Hell yeah! Tell me more!
10:36There was the Green Bean Beetle and the Hazmat Suit Death Gang.
10:40They all sacrificed themselves to save the Earth from the evil Martian White Radish.
10:44Did Grandpa play or was he like you and didn't know what gave his son joy?
10:48Not my dad. No, he was raised really old school.
10:51His father would make him play things like Samurai, Ninja, and Bloodthirsty Whaler.
10:55Did you say Ninja? I like Ninja!
10:57I thought we were talking about comics. Can we focus?
11:00Play Ninja! Let's play Ninja! I need to break something!
11:04Bet you didn't know I've already been trained by the Super Happy Fun Time Ninja Death Clan!
11:08What? But it's an American school!
11:10If anyone's going to teach you Ninja, it's me!
11:13I need a way to mark where I stab you. And yes, I will be stabbing you.
11:17These are good. Beach balls from that beach trip we never took.
11:21Did I just hear you say you were going to stab me?
11:23Well, sort of.
11:28Alright! Put this on your head.
11:31If I pop it, you've been killed.
11:34I'll give you a handicap since you're five with stubby arms.
11:37We'll say if you strike me anywhere, that's a kill, except for the groin.
11:40In that case, I'll gut you for real.
11:42Do not forget that I have trained in Ninja with the former murderer,
11:45and in Kendo with the crazy space dude.
11:47You think I believe those things really happened?
11:51You may strike first, child.
11:53And you should have earmuffs!
11:55Attack!
11:57What the?
11:58Attack!
12:01Oh, crap.
12:04Father-son super ninja samurai battle wonder.
12:07With the orange Shinja, and the hero as a villain samurai.
12:12Round one. Ready? Fight!
12:19Only chicks use throwing stars.
12:22He vanished.
12:24No, please!
12:27You forget my dancing skills, Shinja.
12:31You're no match for me, boy.
12:33And I always decapitate my victims.
12:35That makes me like you more.
12:37Decapitate!
12:38Ninja face bloom!
12:40No, Shin. That's not fair.
12:42Get off of me! Get off of me! Kissies are warmth!
12:47Any final thoughts before I slay you?
12:51Yeah. Have you ever noticed if you say a word over and over again,
12:54it loses its meaning like spaghetti? You should try it.
12:58Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti.
13:02He's right.
13:03Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti.
13:07That's crazy.
13:11You fell for my distraction.
13:13Clever trick, Shinja. But you won't fool me with fun word games again.
13:16Time to finish this.
13:25No!
13:36Face or gut, you pick.
13:39It takes more than death to kill me.
13:42Shinja super strike!
13:45Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh.
13:52If she thinks these still fit her, she's nuts.
13:55Damn. Anything crotch related makes him stronger.
13:58Ha-ha-ha-ha. You cannot fight what you cannot reach.
14:03Wanna see?
14:04Heroic samurai slash!
14:05Soak on this, villain.
14:07Heroic blind samurai slash!
14:10well we're home that's great we're just hanging you guys like hanging my undies
14:18around the house hmm admit it I guess I should be grateful you play with mine
14:22instead of some schoolgirls yes ma'am sorry ma'am Oh what's more my action
14:29bastard deeps no shin don't leave me let him go I don't want him to freak over
14:34seeing his dad beat
14:50running to me a flashback to our butthole of love and story no dolphin
14:59goo no whale me Japanese Trader Joe's is a letdown oh Shin you can help me
15:07carry these bags the last 12 blocks now don't try to weasel out of this I'm not
15:13falling for any of your tricks this time look it's hating Christiansen from the
15:16canceled killer cop TV show and Christiansen oh that's not him
15:22hey keep out of my secret scrapbook we should buy a lockbox this is like the
15:2915th time he's found something sexually embarrassing I can carry that now a cup
15:37I need to look manly right quickly Oh Shannon Mitzi hi Nanako
15:44hi Nanako you look pretty may I squeeze you I'd love to let you touch me but I
15:48have to get home now and change think of me when you're half naked my love I knew
15:52we didn't come back to help carry groceries hello to you too sweet Hema so
15:58were you out shopping or something I bought a new skin-tight hip-hugging
16:02jogging suit here's the jacket nice that color is very urban and hip-hoppy but
16:08when did you take up jogging the Danish roomie and I decided it's a good way to
16:11meet men I used to bar hop but I kept blacking out from the one drink a guy
16:14gave me my tolerance sucks well I wish you the best of luck
16:18wear protection yeah okay take care you guys always nice when I pass cross be
16:41glad for her soon she'll have a man whose advances she can legally consent
16:44to but boobies no I will start clogging to get her back jogging not clogging
16:50clogging is what you do with your daughter when she's too stocky for ballet
16:53I shall jog jog until I win her back jog until her boobies rest in my hands can
16:58you explain to me again what jogging is it's running for exercise it's big with
17:03people who like to show off look at me I'm so fine my butt is perfect look at
17:09me my butt's full of cheese take a whiff and you want to kiss me
17:14hey come back you left the grocery bag he didn't even have to trick me he just
17:20ran off
17:26when she finds me jogging she'll get naked for sure extra naked
17:39I can't wait to hop in the shower with you and wash all this jogging sweat off
17:51damn Street um I'm wearing my new jogging panties shoot this up babe
17:58Jen wait up please Jen stop I need you to rub lotion on my boobies they're
18:05getting all chafed from the jogging what sorry I couldn't hear you over my awesome
18:11jogging take my hand I'll fly with you and you slap my ass
18:17yeah he snapped at least it's entertaining no it's not your son needs
18:29to stop being a dirty boy and go to bed what exactly happened while you guys
18:33were out today you weren't underwear shopping were you once to jog with
18:39nonico jogging huh that's pretty cool do you know where my jogging shoes are and
18:46if my jockstraps clean keep digging hero no I got to get my jogging sleep
18:50from mrs. shin honey nahara so keep it down you want us to keep it down like
18:55you can fall asleep with hottie nonico on your mom you know I swear when we're
18:59comment like that
19:08nonico I'm coming just four more hours
19:12stupid chicken cluck the stupid have solo cluck wake up another 24 hours to
19:31serve miss I make my day make stupid mr. king novelty cluck
19:38and go get your heart crushed again by nonico oh yeah I totally forgot what's
19:43that noise it's Saturday you don't wake up early on a Saturday you go to bed and
19:48tired well actually it's not that early it's nine o'clock it's Saturday
19:51everybody go back to bed sounds good
19:57we'll put them in candy bowls and I will kiss them all over rub it dry but don't
20:06rub it raw
20:10she's so much hotter than these other jokers
20:14thank you man go I have noticed that to marry me nonico I'll buy you things
20:31oh it's springtime in my crunchy perfume on your privates again no I'm just
20:43I'm coming for you and your roommate you won't be able to resist this type
21:22she's probably run off with some studly douchebag
21:42she looks a little bigger probably just bundled up from the cold
21:53okay that's a lot of layers it's not really that cold
22:04what monster I'm Griselda nonico's roommate you must be shin boy she told
22:15me all about you yeah oh that's nice how much did she tell you just that you're a
22:19little gooseball boy and that she can't jog today cuz she got a call from her
22:23ex-boyfriend famous Rex Jack Rock yeah it's so good to hear from you Rex I
22:27hated how we left things in Manila but I'm glad you're out of jail now let's
22:30get together as soon as you get back bye all right cuz you're such an animal
22:38nonico and Rex go way back when they're together they're very cute and very
22:42kinky is kinky good dog good especially when you make the man squeal anyway I'm
22:48glad I found a little man for jog with me okay timeout please do you mean I'm
22:52your little man yeah I just don't jog behind me I bubble and when we're done
23:01you're a bugger on my backside I have all sorts of rashes
23:18late this morning a storm was really rolling frogs and dogs are raining from
23:22the sky
23:25nothing's just as it should be if this keeps on I'm sure I won't get by
23:30but then I close my eyes and try to smile I know things are bad and getting
23:36worse but after all this I can rest a while and then I'll party party party
23:43join us join us party party join us join us party party join us join us
23:47shake your day away and you can party party join us join us party party join
23:51us join us party party join us join us
24:01you start shaking and it ain't just shaking me I see that smile you're grinning
24:06ear to ear sing this song you should really sing it clear just sing along
24:12with us
24:15party party join us join us party party join us join us party party join us join us
24:20shake your day away and you can party party
24:23oh I'm bad for truth
24:25party
24:27brand old party it is
24:29party party