S02E18 - The Birds and the Bees Affair

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02:48Open channel D, overseas relay.
02:50Priority.
02:52Please scramble.
02:54♪
02:57Mr. Kuriagin?
02:58Yes, sir.
02:59Well, let me have your security report, please.
03:02There's been an assault on Uncle Headquarters, Geneva.
03:06All personnel dead.
03:10How did they penetrate security?
03:14Well, until our research people get here,
03:16all we can do is make an educated guess.
03:19There seems to have been some sort of insect attack,
03:22probably through the heating vents.
03:24I see.
03:26What do you suggest?
03:28A section one headquarters alert to direct all of our offices to stand by
03:31and change over to emergency ventilating systems.
03:34I see. Anything else?
03:36Not for the moment.
03:38Then in that case, proceed on to New York for debriefing.
03:41I'll have Dietrich take over there.
03:44♪
03:54♪
04:16Honey!
04:18♪
04:24Bees!
04:25Close the window.
04:27Hey, they're smashing themselves against the window.
04:31♪
04:38There's a lake up ahead.
04:41♪
04:50♪
05:00♪
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05:20♪
05:42A most remarkable escape, I must say.
05:45No unpleasant aftereffects, I trust?
05:48Ah, nothing.
05:49Except the crease in my trousers hasn't been quite the same.
05:54Then we can proceed.
06:03This, gentlemen, is a blow-up of one of the bees
06:05our research people found in the office at Geneva.
06:08It's a new breed of bee,
06:10so minute that it can penetrate even the very finest
06:13of small wire mesh creating.
06:16Uh, follow-up reports that each man received
06:18over 100 minute bee stings.
06:20Actually, one would have been sufficient.
06:22Killer bees.
06:23The problem doesn't end there, though, I'm afraid.
06:27The punctures were so tiny that they were invisible to the naked eye,
06:31indicating that the bees themselves were practically invisible.
06:35It would seem that Thrush has developed
06:37another weapon of ultimate terror.
06:40Hmm.
06:41Well, for what small comfort it may be to us,
06:43the bees die when they lose their stinger.
06:46Which brings us to Elias Swan,
06:51one of the world's most renowned entomologists
06:54and equally renowned compulsive gambler.
06:58He published an article not long ago
07:01advancing the theory of breeding a new super bee.
07:04Did you read it?
07:05You're quite right, Mr. Geeraken.
07:07And while we're not at all certain
07:09that Dr. Swan is responsible for what happened at Geneva,
07:12we mustn't close our eyes to the fact
07:14that this gambling propensity of his
07:17makes him particularly vulnerable to Thrush.
07:20We have reason to believe that Dr. Swan is in New York now.
07:24Oh, there's a list of his haunts.
07:29It's vital that we know one way or another
07:32whether he has any link with Thrush.
07:35Mr. Geeraken, the honey that was spread on your car,
07:39it seems as of a special kind, Cumberley honey.
07:43You may wish to go into that.
07:45I thought bees made their own honey and then fed on it.
07:48How do such people report that these tiny insects
07:51are incapable of producing enough to feed themselves?
07:54So Cumberley honey has been introduced as a special food.
07:58Well, gentlemen,
08:00looks to me as though you've got your work cut out for you.
08:03Mr. Solo, on your way out,
08:06see what Del Florio can do with that crease in your trousers, will you?
08:11My dear Del Florio, you've come at the right time.
08:14Shouldn't I be here with you?
08:16Oh, I'm afraid so.
08:18It's my pleasure.
08:20If I can't see you when I bring our beef to a boil,
08:23you'll be here to enjoy it.
08:25Who's in here?
08:27That's my wife, Mrs. Monica.
08:29Oh, so you've been here.
08:31Have you put a picture on the wall?
08:33No, I haven't.
08:35Oh, you haven't?
08:37Oh, no.
08:39My dear Dr. Swan, aren't you afraid of getting stung?
08:43Over the years, my system has worked up an immunity against the bee's venom.
08:48Unfortunately, it's unable to ward off a common headache.
08:52That hardly surprises me.
08:54What surprises me is the wonderful working conditions you have provided me with.
08:59And the money.
09:01Dear me, such cynicism.
09:03Speaking of money...
09:05Oh, yes, yes, yes.
09:07I'd forgotten. Ten thousand, I think.
09:10That brings us up to one hundred and fifty thousand, my dear doctor.
09:14More or less, yes.
09:16My dear Swan, I wish you could refrain from visiting that private club of yours.
09:21You really can't win, you know.
09:24Well, we all have our needs, even you.
09:28Simply a question of waiting until the percentages turn in my favour.
09:33I sincerely hope so, Elias.
09:35Nothing would give me greater pleasure.
09:37I'll have someone bring you an aspirin.
09:39Oh, uh, funnily enough, my headache seems entirely to have disappeared.
09:44Amazing. The therapeutic effect of ten thousand dollars.
09:49I shall recommend it to all my friends.
10:05Oh, uh, see that the good doctor is not disturbed.
10:35You can make me a tiger's milk and gin.
10:59Hello?
11:01Hello? Put maples on.
11:03Right away, sir.
11:06Vince?
11:07Yeah?
11:08Phone.
11:09Right away.
11:19Hello.
11:20Ah, maples.
11:22Maples, I have just had a little chat with Dr. Swan.
11:26Ten thousand dollars' worth.
11:29So it wouldn't surprise me if he were to pay you a little visit.
11:33We'll be waiting for him.
12:00May I help you, please?
12:04I'm in no hurry.
12:13One dozen jars of kumbali honey, ready and wrapped.
12:16Will there be something else, Mr. Mozart?
12:18You know, my dear, the offer is still open.
12:22You are very kind.
12:25But I am happy here.
12:27Really?
12:28I wish you'd think it over.
12:30Not only would you make more money at my dance studio,
12:34but you would have a chance to blossom.
12:41Do reconsider my little proposal.
12:56And now may I help you, please?
12:59Was that the last of the kumbali honey?
13:02Yes, but there will be another shipment tomorrow.
13:06There are only four health food stores in town that carry that particular brand.
13:11Mr. Mozart seems to have cornered the market.
13:15I beg your pardon?
13:18Ilya Kuryakin.
13:22Ilya Kuryakin.
13:25Kavya Sandor.
13:27I'm with the UNCLE.
13:30I'm Hungarian.
13:34I have a strong feeling that you should reconsider
13:38Mr. Mozart's offer of a job as dancing instructoress.
13:52No more bags, ladies and gentlemen.
13:59Seventeen.
14:08Place your bags, ladies and gentlemen.
14:15Number two.
14:17No more bags, ladies and gentlemen.
14:22Sixteen, the winner. Red and even.
14:30We have a system.
14:32Theory of probability.
14:34Place your bags, ladies and gentlemen.
14:37What's your system?
14:39Oh, clean living and a pure heart.
14:43I'll have to try it sometime.
14:45Say, would you be a good guy and hold my spot while I go cash a check?
14:49Sure.
14:51Thirty-three.
15:03The man on the left of Swan is an UNCLE agent.
15:06Dispose of him before he makes contact.
15:09Here?
15:11Why not?
15:14Thirty.
15:16Even.
15:18The man on the left of Swan.
15:21I don't mean to try, Dr. Swan,
15:23but you do know that you're being systematically cheated, don't you?
15:27How did you know my name?
15:29Perhaps we could continue this discussion where there are less distractions.
15:33Do you think that would be possible?
15:36Place your bags, ladies and gentlemen.
15:43Two compliments of the house.
15:45No, no, no, I wouldn't think of it.
15:47Boy, when you're winning, everything is on the house.
15:51Hey, do you mind?
15:53No, go ahead.
16:01Everything on 23.
16:04Take my advice, pal.
16:06Quit while you're ahead.
16:12The winner, 23 red.
16:26One too many, I guess.
16:28Some people don't know when to quit.
16:30Give me a hand, will you?
16:34Perhaps we should have that little chat.
16:37Excuse me.
16:42If you'll just step to the rear of the casino.
16:45Serves me right for overtipping.
16:49I just hope my husband doesn't ask you for my paycheck.
16:52Well, this would seem to be my lucky night.
16:54Let me escort you both home.
16:56All right, ladies, come right in here.
16:58If I'm asleep, I would stay.
17:00No, I know you don't know me, but I'm the winner.
17:04Let me show you some of our instructresses.
17:09It's an interesting concept,
17:11a lifetime course in dancing, but...
17:14I'm still not sure.
17:16You'd be surprised at how many doors dancing can open.
17:19That's what I'm counting on.
17:21We do have some very pretty instructresses.
17:24I'll show you some of them.
17:26Allow me to make a suggestion.
17:28Why don't you take a trial course,
17:30and if you don't like it, we'll...
17:35Do I have choice of instructress?
17:41Well, it's a little unorthodox, but...
17:44I think we can make an exception.
17:46I don't think so.
17:48I don't think so.
17:50I don't think so.
17:52I don't think so.
17:54I think we can make an exception.
17:56Oh, Tavia, dear.
17:58Tavia, come here for a moment.
18:02You seem to have made a conquest with Mr...
18:05Koriaki.
18:07Use the private room.
18:20No.
18:25Would you mind telling me now, please,
18:27what am I doing here?
18:29Well, plan A was that you were to come inside,
18:32establish yourself, and look around.
18:34Then you were to report to me on what you found out
18:37about Mr. Mozart and his honey collection.
18:40So what have you found out?
18:42Nothing. I have been dancing all morning.
18:46Shut it off.
18:49Shut it off.
18:55Foreigners. That's the trouble.
18:57You give them jobs, and they turn on you.
19:00They won't let me look around.
19:02Everyone tells me to stay in the studio.
19:04So what do we do now?
19:06Plan B.
19:08That's where I look around,
19:11and you get out of here as fast as possible.
19:14Um...
19:16Of course, I should like to thank you for your help.
19:19You mean that's all?
19:21Well, my supervisor will send you a letter
19:24of commendation suitable for framing.
19:26Of course, you won't be able to show it to anyone
19:29because all of our correspondence is classified.
19:40Oh, Tavia, Mr. Mozart would like to see you in his office.
20:02I hope you don't mind my pinch-hitting.
20:05Not at all.
20:11I must say, you're a very apt student.
20:14That's a bad joke.
20:17No, I mean it.
20:19You're really quite good.
20:24Uh-oh.
20:31It's the cartridge.
20:38I'm afraid I'm just helpless when it comes to anything mechanical.
20:45Ah!
20:57Here's the new cartridge.
21:09My dear Elias, you really ought to see someone about your fantasies.
21:13Why should Thrush try to cheat you at roulette?
21:16Why did your man kidnap me?
21:18He prevented you from being kidnapped.
21:21Why do I now have to have this chaperone?
21:24Because, my dear friend, you placed too little value on yourself,
21:28which Uncle obviously does not.
21:30I will not be spied upon in my own laboratory.
21:33That man must go.
21:35That, I'm afraid, is out of the question.
21:37You mean I'm virtually a prisoner here in my own laboratory?
21:40Come now, don't be so melodramatic.
21:43I see it all now.
21:45You, the laboratory, the casino,
21:48all part of a package to keep me here under your thumb.
21:51Count your blessings, Elias.
21:53You have your life and your laboratory.
21:56Don't crush your luck.
21:58What I'm trying to say to you as delicately as possible
22:02is that you've become expendable.
22:05We have the bees,
22:07and if necessary, we can bring in our own scientists.
22:13Try to be happy in your work, Elias.
22:24Call Internal Defence and have them meet me here at 2 o'clock.
22:27And check on the flight schedule of those two Washington entomologists.
22:31That'll be all.
22:38Is there any word on Elia?
22:40No, it seems we've lost touch with Mr. Kuriakin at Mozart's studio,
22:44precisely why I called you in.
22:46They probably have got Swan and his bees in there somewhere.
22:49I'll close in on them.
22:51Yes, but go carefully, Mr. Solo.
22:53If those bees get turned loose, the whole city will be endangered.
22:57Yes, sir.
22:59One other thing, Mr. Solo.
23:01Mr. Kuriakin has enlisted the aid of Miss Tevye Sandoz, dance instructor.
23:07Keep an eye out for her, too.
23:24Now, Mr. Kuriakin,
23:26if you will be kind enough to glance at the table,
23:29you will observe the blueprints of Uncle Headquarters, New York.
23:37I am particularly interested in the location of the alternate ventilating system.
23:45I'm sorry.
23:50Perhaps we can find something else to make you change your tune.
23:55No doubt you're wondering about this machine.
23:58Let me satisfy your curiosity.
24:02It is electrically operated to produce any preselected sound frequencies.
24:09The vibrations are set to increase beyond the range of human hearing
24:15into ultra-high frequency.
24:18The difference immediately becomes apparent when the sound stops.
24:25At this time, you will have three minutes
24:30before the vibrations shatter your eardrums.
24:39Of course, if you wish to change your mind,
24:43there is a button at the end of the arm of your chair,
24:49regarded as a test of endurance, if you like.
24:53Incidentally, the record is actually four minutes,
24:58but I'm afraid the poor man who set it never was quite the same again.
25:04He answers to the name of Fido, I believe.
25:11There's no necessity for Tavia to witness this demonstration.
25:15I can... I can tell her about it later.
25:19Oh, come, come, Mr. Kuriakin. That's not very sporting of you, is it?
25:23After all, you sent her in here.
25:26And I really think that she deserves to have her eardrums shattered along with yours.
25:36Oh, you might like to look at that again.
25:42Roy, close down the dance studio for this afternoon.
25:49Let me know when he changes his mind.
25:52I'll be in the penthouse with Maples.
27:26F-Swan, prepare the bees.
27:34Well, I hope our little game of musical chairs didn't make you too uncomfortable.
27:43You have a quaint sense of humor, don't you?
27:47Still, I'm not quite sure I'm in the right place.
27:51You have a quaint sense of humor, don't you?
27:55Still, it did serve its purpose, didn't it, Mr. Kuriakin?
27:59I'll show you the ventilating system to Uncle Headquarters, if that's what you mean.
28:04You will do better than show me. You will take me there.
28:08That may not be as easy as it sounds.
28:11Come, come, don't underestimate yourself. You're a very resourceful chap.
28:16You will find a way.
28:18Unloosen.
28:22Unloosen.
28:30And Miss Sandor?
28:32She stays here, of course.
28:35You will realize that if anything goes wrong,
28:38Miss Sandor will be in a very awkward position.
28:44Ilya.
28:51The thought never crossed my mind.
29:04Why are they making so much racket?
29:06I told you yesterday we ran out of honey. You'd do well to feed them.
29:09No, they'll survive.
29:12You sure they're enough to do the job?
29:14More than enough. Hey, just a minute.
29:17Those are my bees. You can't do that. Not all of them.
29:19Keep them locked up in here. I'll check back with you later.
29:49Come on.
30:19Come on.
30:49Come on.
30:51Come on.
30:53Come on.
31:18Guard!
31:20Guard!
31:24Look, I know you have orders to keep me here locked up,
31:29but I was hoping that somehow we could work out some sort of accommodation.
31:34After all, it's quite unimportant to you whether I live...
31:42or die.
31:54Dr. Swan?
31:56Oh, the gentleman from the casino. What do you want, my bees?
32:02I'll start with that.
32:04They're on the way to your ventilating system.
32:07The other young fellow is showing them the way.
32:09Oh? How long ago?
32:11Oh, a few minutes.
32:13They took them all, including the queen.
32:16Left only two.
32:18Nobody cares about bees, really.
32:20They're a form of being. A higher form, really.
32:23Better than our civilization, anyway.
32:25Only one stung the guard, and only one of us is immune.
32:31Mr. Solo, I can save you if you'll save my bees.
32:36I can't promise that.
32:38I must have my bees.
32:40All right, I'll get them.
32:42I'll get them.
32:44I'll get them.
32:47All right, I'll do what I can.
33:00I believe you.
33:02It's difficult to believe anybody these days.
33:08They sure go for that stuff, don't they?
33:17Well, that must be for the guard.
33:19By the way, there's a girl in that room.
33:22That must be Miss Sandoz.
33:28Who are you?
33:30Isn't it obvious?
33:32What is this?
33:34Oh, it is a machine designed to split your eardrums.
33:46Oh!
34:16Oh!
34:32The machine! Shut it off!
34:34God!
34:47Security check.
34:49Any problems?
34:58Well done.
35:00You know, when all this is over, we may be able to find a place for you.
35:04Possibly.
35:16Yeah.
35:25Hold it.
35:27Hold it.
35:46The life you saved may be mine.
36:06Having second thoughts?
36:08Let's get on with it, Mr. Kuriakin.
36:10The bees are getting hungry.
36:17Where are they now?
36:19They're just getting close to the central control room.
36:46I have everything on standby alert.
36:49We'll see how well Mr. Kuriakin makes out as he goes along.
37:47Well, here we are.
37:49You can see much better if you stand here.
37:54This operates the electrical system.
37:56That's the emergency radar system in case of a surprise attack.
37:59Spare me the grand tour.
38:01Where is the ventilating system?
38:03I'm coming to that.
38:05That opens the duct to transportation.
38:07That's the duct to Waverley's office.
38:09Waverley's office? That would be very nice.
38:11I'm coming to that.
38:13That opens the duct to Waverley's office.
38:15Waverley's office? That would be very nice.
38:17Open up the duct.
38:28I may point out that Waverley's office is a self-contained unit.
38:32Letting the bees out there will gain you practically nothing.
38:35I will take my chances on that.
38:38Whatever you say.
38:43Let's go.
39:04That's far enough, Mr. Mozart.
39:09Put the briefcase down in front of you.
39:11I'm walking out of here.
39:13I'll open the suitcase.
39:15Put the briefcase down, Mr. Mozart.
39:17If I open this briefcase,
39:19not only will all of these men die,
39:21but some of the bees will probably get out of the city.
39:26All right, Mr. Mozart, go ahead.
39:34Mr. Keerhaken?
39:37I'd like to see you in my office.
39:39At once.
39:45It's not a very pleasing picture, gentlemen.
39:48Thrush operative running around loose in New York City
39:51with a briefcase full of men-killing bees.
39:54Undoubtedly, he'll try and get back to Thrush Central,
39:57where they'll try and breed the bees.
39:59That's precisely what we must prevent.
40:01Now that Mr. Keerhaken's strategy has failed...
40:05Here you are, sir.
40:10No sign of Mozart, I'm afraid.
40:12No.
40:14Continue surveillance.
40:16Let me know as soon as anything is developed.
40:19I want all transportation centers thoroughly checked out.
40:22Yes, sir.
40:24May I make a suggestion?
40:26Do you have any sonar equipment available?
40:28Yes.
40:30But it's simply a question of tracking the bees
40:32by the vibrations of their buzzing.
40:34Instruct your units to set their frequencies at 1,248 cycles.
40:38That will enable them to lock in
40:40on the exact pitch of the bees' vibrations.
40:43Yes, I suppose that might be quite a help.
40:46Just one request, Mr. Waverley.
40:48When you locate Mozart, I wish to be along.
40:51The bees are mine, and Mr. Solo has promised me
40:54that every effort will be made to return the bees to me intact.
40:57Mr. Solo, will you take charge of the sonar details?
41:00Yes, sir.
41:05What about me, sir?
41:07It's just possible they might try to get
41:10some more of the Cumberley honey to feed the bees with
41:13before they export them.
41:15I'll detail men to cover all of the health food stores
41:18that carry the honey, especially my Miss Sandor.
41:21Yes, it might be rather nice
41:24if you could arrange that, Mr. Kuriakin.
41:27Mr. Kuriakin?
41:57The helicopter will pick us up at 4 o'clock.
42:00Good. Is everything else ready?
42:02Yes, sir.
42:03Let's be off.
42:12Oh, Ilya, it's here.
42:21Cumberley honey.
42:24If Mr. Mozart is aware of the timing of these deliveries of honey,
42:28he may move to any one of the four stores that stock it.
42:36Channel L, please.
42:44Yes, Ilya?
42:46The honey has arrived.
42:48Any sign of Mr. Mozart and his bees?
42:50You see anything on that?
42:52No, John.
42:54So they are not coming here.
42:57It doesn't seem that way.
42:59They'll probably throw their business to one of your competitors.
43:03Keep an eye on this area.
43:05Mozart knows we can detect him on the ground,
43:07so my hunch is that he'll probably go off,
43:09try for a helicopter pickup.
43:11What if he makes a pickup?
43:13Well, we won't be able to stop him.
43:15By the time we put anything in the air to intercept him,
43:18he could have landed in any of the five states
43:20and taken a plane to Thrush Central in Europe.
43:22All my bees will be lost.
43:24Well, not completely.
43:26If Thrush gets away with this, we'll be seeing a lot of them.
43:29There's no need to be afraid of anything anymore.
43:31You know that, don't you?
43:33Well said, Mr. Kuriakin.
43:37And you know something else?
43:39I believe you.
43:41Go!
43:43Oh!
44:12And don't bother to follow him, Mr. Kuriakin.
44:31Open channel L.
44:36Yes, Elliot.
44:38Mr. Mozart just came in here and made away with the honey.
44:41And Tavia.
44:44This isn't your day, is it?
44:46I will try and cover for you.
44:50Thanks.
44:54My bees!
44:56All right, we've got a fix on them.
44:58You're in luck, Elliot.
45:00They're on the other side of town.
45:02I'll let you know how it comes out.
45:05Channel D, please.
45:07Send a sonar 12 to all units.
45:10We're heading for 8th Avenue.
45:12All units rendezvous immediately.
45:14Okay.
45:36We are a little early.
45:44There it is.
45:51Not going anywhere, Mozart.
46:09Give it up, Mozart.
46:11They won't land.
46:13They will, as soon as you lay down your arms.
46:15And if you don't, I'll release the bees.
46:19You tricked us once with that, and once is enough.
46:22I mean it.
46:24I'd rather go that way than have you take me.
46:26I'm sure you can understand that.
46:37Cover me.
46:43Cover me.
47:13Cover me.
47:37You saved us.
47:43Yes, I did, didn't I?
47:50Well, we owe you quite a debt of gratitude, young lady.
47:54Thank you very much for all your help.
47:56Oh, I owe everything to Mr. Kuriok and...
48:02Oh.
48:04We all do.
48:06Yes.
48:08I, um...
48:10I suppose you have recovered rather well, Mr. Kuriok.
48:13Goodbye, Miss Sandoff.
48:15Goodbye.
48:16I knew you could do it.
48:18Want a little help?
48:22Will you return to your health food store now?
48:25I don't think anything could be worse than what I've been through today.
48:30And after all this, there is certainly nothing to be afraid of.
48:34And I think I'm ready for more exciting things.
48:40Such as?
48:43My own dancing studio.
48:46And, uh, these are worth two free lessons.
48:49Hmm. Thank you.
48:51Being able to dance is very good for your self-confidence, you know.
48:56And for you, I have something special.
49:04A lifetime course.
49:10A LIFETIME COURSE
49:40A LIFETIME COURSE
50:10A LIFETIME COURSE