S02E23 - The Moonglow Affair

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00:00I want two of her, one profile that way, then a full face, I think would be better, then
00:30a full face, I think would be better.
01:00Cigarette? No, thank you. Excuse me.
01:15The coast is clear, Napoleon. The laboratory is in the basement.
01:31Call security and check on a Mr. Kuryakin. Right away.
01:52Just a moment here, soldier.
02:00Is that uniform the best you can do? A little sloppy here, gotta button up.
03:30Well, good evening. How are you?
03:58Jean, are these all of our semi-finalists? Yes.
04:05I think there's an uncle agent in the building. Oh, really?
04:11Really. Well, we must be careful not to alarm our guests.
04:27Boo. Where's the other one?
04:57Get out of the water!
05:27Get out of the water!
05:57Get out of the water!
06:27Get out of the water!
06:57Get out of the water!
07:27I've never seen anything like it. He's been exposed to some kind of radiation,
07:32but exactly what kind, we don't know.
07:39Radiation specialists from London and Beirut.
07:44Any word from Kuryakin? Unfortunately, no. Not yet.
08:10Sorry to have to pull you in off your flight to Majorca, Mr. Slate.
08:14But as you may surmise, I have an emergency assignment for you here.
08:19Breaking in a new Section 2 operative in the field.
08:23I'm always glad to do a job for the New York office, sir.
08:27It doesn't seem too long ago that I broke in Napoleon Solo.
08:32Whatever happened to Agent Quint? I thought he was handling your trainee work.
08:36Ah, yes. Yes, Quint, poor fellow.
08:39Oh, we had to kick him upstairs, so to speak.
08:43It was too bad. He has a desk job now.
08:47You see, he'd reached age 40. Too bad.
08:54When will I see the new agent?
08:57I've asked Miss Dancer to meet us here.
08:59Miss Dancer?
09:01Yes. Miss.
09:04I didn't intend to put her in the field quite so soon, but under the circumstances...
09:08Ah, here she is.
09:09You sent for me, sir?
09:14She can't be more than 18. She's just a kid.
09:16Oh, hardly. Miss Dancer's 24 and most capable.
09:20Come in. Come in. Sit down.
09:25This is Mr. Slate, Miss Dancer.
09:27How do you do?
09:28Report from infirmary on monitor one, sir.
09:35You made a diagnosis, gentlemen?
09:37We cannot determine the cause of the radiation symptomology.
09:40And unfortunately, the irradiation has penetrated the primary and the secondary layers of Mr. Solo's skin.
09:46We are helpless unless we know what was used on Mr. Solo.
09:49Because at the present rate, the radiation will reach the spleen in 46 hours, and Mr. Solo will die.
10:03Well, Miss Dancer, it's up to you to discover what it is that thrushes inflicted on Mr. Solo.
10:10And find out, too, what they've done with Mr. Kyriakin.
10:13We're counting on you.
10:15And so is Mr. Solo.
10:18Miss Dancer will give you all the background information.
10:23You're going in the field with me?
10:27Is there some objection?
10:29Why, no. Of course not.
10:32I guess the rules and regulations are just fresh in my mind, that's all.
10:36What are you talking about?
10:39Well, you see, I thought Section 2 men, at a certain age, became executives and didn't have to go into the field anymore.
10:57It's the rule, all right.
11:04Here we go.
11:14Get me our file on Mr. Mark Slater.
11:21Do you like it?
11:23Yeah. Used to be my office.
11:25Really?
11:27Here's the Arthur Karest dossier.
11:33Arthur Karest, head of Karest International and Karest Cosmetics Incorporated.
11:39Also, one of the...
11:40One of the high-ranking thrush officials.
11:42He's been operating in Europe for the past few years.
11:45Since Karest's recent return from Europe, our intelligence reports that a large number of thrush technicians...
11:51...and shipments of electronic equipment have been moved into the Karest home office building.
11:56I wonder if Section 1 assumes that there's some connection between Karest's Miss Moonglow contest...
12:02...and the United States Moonglow space flight.
12:05Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin were assigned to explore that possibility.
12:10I see, I see.
12:12Well, Kate Kennedy is too well-guarded for thrush to try anything there.
12:17I don't suppose we have any leads to go on, do we?
12:21No, but we do know that thrush has space plans of its own.
12:25But we don't know how they might plan to interfere with the United States project.
12:29Just how do you fit into this assignment?
12:32Well, Section 1 thinks I'll be able to do some undercover work inside the Karest building.
12:38Especially now that Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin have failed.
12:41A woman would be the last thing they would expect.
12:44Just how are you planning on entering this building?
12:48Well, Section 1 has arranged that I go in and work as a temporary secretary.
12:52Of course, with the necessary forged thrush credentials.
12:57You got all of that in there?
12:59Of course.
13:01Ready?
13:02For anything.
13:08This is private property, and I want it maintained that way.
13:12Get me a scanner's report immediately.
13:14I want to know if he made it back to Uncle Headquarters.
13:18Up all night, Arthur?
13:21Isn't it amazing?
13:23You come back from Europe with your big hush-hush project.
13:26You don't even let me near the laboratory.
13:29But when there's trouble, it's your poor, frail little sister that finds the uncle agent.
13:35Isn't that amazing?
13:36Fascinating.
13:37I've made the press coverage arrangements for the reception on the yacht tonight.
13:42Checked with the caterers.
13:46Covered the guest list.
13:48Only two cancellations.
13:50Admiral Webster is giving a political talk at the Veterans Club.
13:54Professor Wirth is marching in a political demonstration in front of the Veterans Club.
13:59Here are the three semifinalists you selected last night.
14:05Which one do you like?
14:07This one.
14:09Tall, tan, young.
14:13I like this one.
14:16Have her in here this morning for wardrobe fittings and makeup.
14:19You have no right to disregard my opinion, Arthur.
14:22After all, I'm the one who...
14:23You're on the payroll the same as anyone else.
14:25And don't you forget it.
14:27So be careful.
14:28I don't mean to be domineering. It's just...
14:30Sit down. Sit down.
14:33Now, the man from Uncle who got away wasn't in any condition to talk.
14:38But nonetheless, I'm doubling our security.
14:41I called you in here because I want to use you as my backup on this project
14:46in case anything happens to me.
14:48You're including me?
14:50That's marvelous.
14:52You know you're the dearest thing in the world.
14:54As soon as we finish this Moonglow project,
14:56I'll be on my way back to Europe.
14:59Now, the diagrams for the Thrush rocket base
15:02are being held for me by my friend here.
15:08I see.
15:11How does this Thrush project tie in with the reception on the yacht tonight?
15:15Take my elevator down to the lab.
15:18Andy will fill you in on the details.
15:20When I come back, we'll take care of the arrangements for the girl.
15:23And if you'll just sign these policy memos that I dictated this morning,
15:27then we'll be able to concentrate on the...
15:33I'm sending my sister down. Fill her in.
15:36She has top priority clearance.
15:40Yep. Yeah, yeah.
15:43Jawohl.
15:45I know genau where we will go in with the explosion.
15:50Aber no one has told me exactly warum.
15:54Why is it so wichtig? Important?
15:58That we all meet on the ship? The yacht?
16:01Yacht?
16:02All right, beat it.
16:03Beat it?
16:04Go. You can go now.
16:05Oh.
16:11Dr. Fuller?
16:12Yes, of course.
16:13Hello, Andy.
16:15Hello.
16:16Thrush Central sent him over because he's a top German demolitions man.
16:20I can hardly understand a word he says.
16:22Where's your big secret?
16:25This...
16:28is the quartzite radiation projector.
16:32The rays from this machine affect the human sensory systems,
16:36throwing them into imbalance.
16:39Now, over here, please.
16:51Curiakin there is being fed dehydrated food
16:55that has been irradiated by the projector.
16:58Now, watch this.
17:28Go to him.
17:30Go for him with Moonglow.
17:34Moonglow, Moonglow, Moonglow.
17:41Yes, Gene, our Miss Moonglow will be here in a few minutes.
17:45No, I'm taking care of it.
17:47I just want to make sure that she's well.
17:50I'll be back in a few minutes.
17:53Moonglow will be here in a few minutes.
17:55No, I'm taking care of it.
17:57I just want to make sure the wardrobe people will be here at the right time.
18:00Come on.
18:02Oh, I like that. I like that.
18:04Let's use that and get on it right away.
18:05I hate these. Hate...
18:07Well, maybe this one. You might give that a try.
18:09Fellas, that's very, very nice. Very nice.
18:11But how about getting something with a little more excitement in it?
18:17Yes?
18:19Central?
18:21All right, kids, that's all for now.
18:22We'll pick this up in a few minutes.
18:25Don't touch that.
18:26Oh.
18:28Oh, I'm sorry.
18:30Um...
18:32Um, these are the memorandums that you wanted to sign.
18:34I'll sign them. I'll sign them later.
18:36Describe them, sweetie.
18:37Yes, sir.
18:47Ready for that overseas call.
18:51Let's go.
19:10We're moving the laboratory out of the building today
19:12and we're dismantling our equipment.
19:14We're dumping it in the river.
19:16There'll be no trace of our operation left behind.
19:19We're dumping Corey Atkins' body in the river, too.
19:22I...
19:24Yep.
19:26I've transferred our diagrams for the rocket base onto microdots
19:30and I'll be bringing them to Europe with me on Tuesday.
19:33All right.
19:49All right.
20:19All right.
20:49All right.
21:13You want to meet me at the yacht tonight, have you got that?
21:15Yeah.
21:17I know where to go through the wall.
21:20I still don't know why.
21:24Never mind. I'll pick you up at your hotel.
21:26Ich bin im Hotel.
21:28Beat it.
21:37Say, you.
21:39Me?
21:41Take those fires over there and burn them.
21:44Yes, sir.
21:48They're not worth anything,
21:50but we've got to burn them anyway.
21:52Regulations.
21:54Uh, I bet Caress keeps the good stuff hidden in his office.
22:00Wouldn't trust us with the plans to the hidden rocket base, would he?
22:05You ask a lot of questions.
22:08Oh, well, uh, I'm new here.
22:12Very new.
22:15Very new.
22:17You're quite an improvement.
22:21Uh, is he real?
22:24Well, almost.
22:26He's a sturdy little fellow,
22:28but he's had quite a few doses from this machine.
22:32Oh.
22:34Well, what's going to happen to him?
22:37Um, the usual body disposal procedure?
22:42Yes, that's right.
22:45I'm through testing the machine on him.
22:48I'd like to keep him. I have a few other ideas.
22:53Well, um, there's not that much left to work with, is there?
23:00I could fix that.
23:03All I have to do is to reverse the quartzite device.
23:07That would restore his sensory systems
23:11and counteract the radiation.
23:15All that just by reversing this machine?
23:18Mm-hmm. Oh, that reminds me.
23:23Hiya, honey.
23:25Listen, call the yacht, will you?
23:27Have them send over a steward to pick up the body.
23:30Yeah, thanks.
23:32Well, I've got to shove off.
23:35Say, why don't we, uh...
23:37Here, give me a hand with this thing, will you?
23:39Certainly.
23:41Why don't we get together one of these days, hmm?
23:44Oh, that would be very nice. What about tonight?
23:47Oh, tough luck, kiddo.
23:49We're completing the project tonight.
23:51I've got to work.
23:53Well, that's a scientist for you.
23:57Yeah.
24:09Mm-hmm.
24:40I've met so many nice girls in the contest.
24:43It's been the most exciting experience of my life.
24:46It really has.
24:48Just wait till I tell my folks.
24:50They're not gonna believe it.
24:55Oh, that's good. Yes, that'll work fine.
24:58Jane.
25:00This isn't the girl I wanted.
25:02What happened to the one I picked?
25:04She's gone, Arthur.
25:06You could see her the way I visualize her.
25:08Get rid of her.
25:10I can't get rid of her. It's too late to get another girl.
25:12We've got to go with this one.
25:14I said get rid of her.
25:16Wait. Wait till you see this fabric on her.
25:21Perfect.
25:27Here we are.
25:29Right in our own ranks.
25:32The new Miss Moonglow.
25:34What do you mean?
25:36Pay her off.
25:38Get her out of here.
25:40You can't do this, Arthur.
25:42I'll sue. I'll take you for every penny you've got.
25:44Get her out of here.
25:46Come on, darling.
25:48But this isn't fair. You can't do this to me.
25:50I want the girl to have the full treatment my way,
25:52and I want her on the yacht tonight at 8 o'clock.
25:54Oh, well, uh, thank you very much.
25:56I'm very grateful, but you see,
25:58um, I'm just a temporary secretary,
26:00and I'm very busy.
26:02There's a lot of heavy typing and...
26:04What's your name? April Dancer.
26:06Congratulations, April.
26:08I understand this is going to be
26:10the greatest experience of your life.
26:12Well, well, thank you very much,
26:14but you see, I'm not very good in public.
26:17If you enjoy working here,
26:19you'll accept the honor graciously.
26:23In that case, I'm very grateful.
26:28I'll see you on the yacht at 8 o'clock,
26:30and then we'll see how grateful you are.
26:45Channel B, please.
27:01Channel D's open.
27:03Something's going to happen on Caress's yacht tonight.
27:06They already have their radiation device
27:08on its way there.
27:10Any idea what they're planning to do with it?
27:12No, but whatever it is, it's going to happen tonight.
27:15Evidently, Thrush has space plans of its own.
27:18Caress has the location of the hidden rocket bases
27:21somewhere in his office on Microdots.
27:23Well, good, good.
27:25Can you arrange to get in there and find them?
27:27Well, there's been a minor complication.
27:29I've been chosen as Miss Moonglow.
27:32I'm going to the yacht, too.
27:34Miss Moonglow?
27:36Any other good news?
27:38Well, the truck is coming to pick up
27:40the rest of the electronic equipment, Anelia.
27:43And Mark, he's in bad shape.
27:46Well, I'll intercept the truck,
27:48and then I'll meet you on the yacht.
27:50Miss Dancer.
27:51Oh, they're waiting for you.
27:54Oh, all right.
27:57Well, here we go.
28:00April.
28:03♪
28:13♪
28:43♪
29:13♪
29:23♪
29:33♪
29:43♪
29:53♪
30:03♪
30:14♪
30:22♪
30:26All right, let's go.
30:30♪
30:38♪
30:48♪
30:57Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
31:03You took my laundry by mistake.
31:07It's... It's in the laundry bag.
31:14When you find it,
31:16take it to Del Floria's cleaners.
31:19They'll know what to do with it.
31:21Here's the address.
31:28Tell them to take it easy on the starch.
31:32Here.
31:36Hey, mister.
31:37You're a little out of shape, aren't you?
31:50Ah, Dr. Faust.
31:52Ah, Mr. Sulu and Mr. Kuriakin.
31:55Well, unless we're able to counteract the radiation soon,
31:58I don't see much hope for them.
32:01Have you heard from your two agents?
32:03No.
32:04Our communications people haven't been able to reach either of them.
32:09Washington has certainly been able to reach me, however.
32:13Pentagon's concerned about possible thrush designs
32:16on their Moonglow spaceflight.
32:19When is the flight scheduled?
32:21In 24 hours.
32:25I'm afraid I don't have any answers for them, either.
32:28What?
32:43Excuse me.
32:53Well, don't we look lovely?
32:58Isn't it amazing, dear, how you came to us from out of nowhere?
33:02Or however the song goes.
33:05Why, weren't my thrush identification papers in order?
33:08Well, they appear to be in order,
33:10but of course I've cabled thrush central for verification.
33:13I thought I told you to stay away from her.
33:16In fact, Arthur, I'm not even staying for your reception.
33:20I think I will be of more use to you somewhere else.
33:22Good night.
33:24Good night.
33:25I must apologize for my sister's charm.
33:29Moonglow, our first tube.
33:31How nice.
33:33After the reception, we'll get together somewhere
33:35and test each other's generosity.
33:39They'll call for you as soon as we're ready for you to come up.
33:54Hi.
34:10Shh, shh, shh.
34:12Would you like me to air my dirty linens in public,
34:15or can I come in?
34:17Oh, come in.
34:31You look like you've been through a meat grinder.
34:32That's a nasty cut.
34:33It's nothing, it's nothing.
34:36You know, I've always said
34:38that this is no business for a girl.
34:41Here, this will help in sewing my information.
34:42Get up there.
34:44Hurry up.
34:46That was their radiation device in that case,
34:48the same one they used on Solo and Ilya.
34:51Where are they going to take it?
34:52I don't know, but we've got to get that device back intact.
34:55It can be reversed somehow and cure anyone who's been irradiated.
34:59All right, I'll get the machine.
35:01But would you mind telling me,
35:02what are you going to be doing in the meantime?
35:03Well, I'm going to have Arthur Caress take me back to his office
35:06where I will locate the microdots.
35:08Then you'll have the machine
35:09and I'll have the location of the secret rocket base.
35:14I never knew it could be so easy.
35:16That's enough, that's enough.
35:18I'll treat it internally.
35:28We're ready for you upstairs, Miss Moonglow.
35:31We go out through the chamber when the lights go off upstairs.
35:58Come on, Carl, hurry up.
36:00Yeah, yeah, I'm a long time from around.
36:02You don't want to order the potato soup?
36:06Potato soup?
36:16Ladies and gentlemen, may I present...
36:20Miss Moonglow.
36:22Moonglow.
36:34Moonglow.
36:36Caress's first lipstick, which actually glows in the dark.
36:48Come on, Carl, hurry up!
36:50What's keeping you?
36:52Yeah, yeah.
36:54Let's go, let's go!
36:56Come on, you didn't close the door.
36:58The signal's already been set.
37:00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:20Hold it!
37:34Listen.
37:38The United States government has so little imagination,
37:42always putting their secret laboratories
37:46under basketball gymnasiums.
37:50Ah, don't you worry, Carl.
37:52The noise of that basketball game
37:54will cover your demolition work.
38:00We're going to dock in a few minutes.
38:02Why don't we go to your office?
38:04And why should we do that?
38:06Well, I've never seen your office at night.
38:08It must be very private.
38:16Well?
38:24Discreet, discreet.
38:26All right, good.
38:28You're asking what the project is all about.
38:30Now, now, I've got you this far,
38:32I might as well fill you in on the details.
38:34Now, listen carefully, very carefully.
38:36Yeah.
38:38Now, we go through the wall,
38:40into the laboratory.
38:42We irradiate the astronauts' food,
38:44and then we come out again.
38:46But we must be very careful
38:48so that no one knows
38:50we've been in the space food laboratory.
38:52Right?
38:54Yeah, yeah.
38:56Irradiate the astronauts' food.
39:02But why?
39:04After the astronauts have tasted
39:06the docked food,
39:08they'll lose control of the spaceship and crash.
39:10So much for Project Moonblow.
39:12It'll take them months
39:14before they discover what happened.
39:16And then we have a similar plan
39:18at work in Russia.
39:20We will have stymied
39:22the manned space programs
39:24of both countries.
39:26And the thrust space program
39:28will be well underway, right?
39:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:32Uber alles. Uber alles.
39:40Uber alles. Uber alles.
39:58Telephone, sir.
40:00Take a message.
40:02I believe it's important, sir.
40:04Caress.
40:06Arthur, listen to me.
40:08I've got something to tell you about your Miss Moonglow.
40:10I've just received a call from...
40:12I don't want to discuss it.
40:14Arthur?
40:16Problem?
40:18No, no, no, no.
40:20But you may be right.
40:22My office would be
40:24more private, wouldn't it?
40:28When the men return,
40:30send them right over to the plant.
40:32I'll check in with you later.
40:34Hello?
40:36I'm sorry, Mr. Caress isn't available.
41:02What is this?
41:06A locker room?
41:12Carl,
41:14you bumbling idiot!
41:24Hold it!
41:26Another Uncle Edge.
41:28Too bad you made such a long swim for nothing.
41:31Another Uncle Edge.
41:33Too bad you made such a long swim for nothing.
41:35Too bad you made such a long swim for nothing.
41:57Hold it!
41:59Right back inside, Buster.
42:02All right, knock it off!
42:08I wonder if you'd mind telling me
42:10just what you're doing in that costume.
42:13Look, it's very simple to explain.
42:15There was this group of men
42:17who were going to use a quartzite radiation projector.
42:21And then...
42:23A quartzite radiation project...
42:32You better take me to a phone.
42:37Be careful with that.
42:39It actually works.
42:41The button activates it.
42:43That sounds dangerous.
42:45Yes, we're considering
42:47a line of children's toys.
42:49I think I'll just go down to wardrobe
42:51and find something comfortable
42:53for you to slip into.
42:56That champagne will keep you warm
42:58until I get back.
43:26Isn't that just like a woman?
43:28Always trying to redecorate.
43:34Well, um...
43:36That painting intrigues me.
43:38He seems to be having trouble with his eyes.
43:41Get away from the desk.
43:43Put that gun down
43:45and you'll see my first space shot.
43:47I'm not going to shoot you.
43:49I'm not going to shoot you.
43:51I'm not going to shoot you.
43:53First space shot.
43:57What's going on here?
44:03April!
44:05Now maybe you'll listen to me.
44:07She's an uncle agent.
44:24Here's our Miss Moonglow.
44:29Over here, Jean.
44:31I've got her.
44:33I'm going to turn you over to my sister.
44:36I think you deserve it.
44:38No, no, no, no, look, look.
44:40Look, if I have to go, I have to go.
44:42I have to go.
44:44I have to go.
44:46I have to go.
44:48I have to go.
44:50I have to go.
44:52Look, if I have to go, I'd much rather go with you.
44:58It's too late, sweetie.
45:00Oh, you want to play games, huh?
45:03April?
45:16Arthur.
45:19She kissed me.
45:23Now we'll go back and get those micro-dots,
45:25and I'll arrange for an ambulance.
45:35What a miserable evening.
45:39And just try to get a taxi wearing one of these.
45:46What's this all about?
45:48I don't know.
45:51What's this all about?
45:53You can put the machine down anywhere.
46:03Give me the gun.
46:05Give me the gun.
46:18Give me the gun.
46:25Give me the gun.
46:35Give me the gun.
46:53Give me the gun.
47:05I thought you might like a little company.
47:24April.
47:25Are you alright?
47:26I'm fine, thank you.
47:28I'm fine, thank you.
47:35And you.
47:38And you.
47:40And you.
47:42Hmm, and you.
47:57Well, you two, congratulations.
48:13Government's Project Moonglow seems to be off to a good start.
48:16How are Solo and Kuryakin?
48:18Oh, they've made a remarkable recovery from that radiation stuff.
48:22Observe.
48:23I understand you've picked up a small touch of it yourself, Miss Dancer.
48:39Yes, but I'm fine now, thank you.
48:41Good.
48:42What's our, I mean, my next assignment?
48:44Well, as a matter of fact, I was thinking of teaming the two of you again.
48:49You seem to work quite well together.
48:52That is, if it's all right with you.
48:54Yes, sir.
48:55That would be just fine, sir.
48:56I wouldn't make a move without him.
48:59Oh, by the way, Mr. Slate, our recording angel seems to have made a small typographical error
49:06in your file.
49:07It says here you're over 40.
49:08Preposterous, of course.
49:09I suggest you make the correction and send it back to Master Files.
49:19Yes, sir.
49:20I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:21All right.
49:22I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:23I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:24I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:25I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:26I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:27I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:28I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:29I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:30I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:31I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:32I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:33I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:34I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:35I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:36I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:37I'll take care of that right away, sir.
49:58I'll take care of that right away, sir.
50:27I'll take care of that right away, sir.