S02E14 - The Yukon Affair

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01:46The name is Partridge, G. Emery Partridge.
01:50Tell them to try South American Rainforest, ruler of,
01:54or Village of Eastnout, lord of.
01:58I've drawn the file, sir.
02:00Well, you might. All right, thank you.
02:04Nothing. Whereabouts unknown.
02:07He was last seen riding an Arabian stallion in a sandstorm,
02:12pursued by 200 tribesmen.
02:14Seems they resented the fact that, uh,
02:17he was trying to unseat the reigning sultan.
02:20Interesting man, Partridge.
02:29The ingot concealed inside the sponge
02:32conforms to the properties predicted by
02:34Professor McPhee of Edinburgh University in 1962.
02:37An H-factor of 140, specific gravity 484.
02:41Will you translate that, please, Mr. Keragin?
02:45Uh, it's the heaviest and hardest material in the world.
02:49It's 14 times harder than a diamond.
02:53It would have been a poor way to go, Napoleon.
02:56Any other unusual properties, Mr. Keragin?
02:59Very.
03:03Push.
03:09Okay, run.
03:13Are you ready?
03:16All right, we're doing the experiment.
03:23Electromagnetic field, huh?
03:25Yes, in the presence of electricity,
03:28a magnetic pull of 40,000 times that of magnetite.
03:32That's why McPhee called it the magnetic field.
03:35It's a magnetic field.
03:37It's a magnetic field.
03:39It's a magnetic field.
03:41It's a magnetic field.
03:4340 times that of magnetite.
03:45That's why McPhee called it quadrillion X.
03:48I'll leave Redenborough at once.
03:50At once is not soon enough.
03:52McPhee disappeared on an expedition about a year ago.
03:55After Partridge's disappearance.
03:57What other effects, Mr. Keragin?
04:00Very few. McPhee only speculated on the existence of the ore.
04:04He described it green with...
04:06I'm not interested in the color.
04:08I take it this hasn't been put through
04:10the Geological Computer Analyzer.
04:12I thought you wanted this demonstration first, sir.
04:16Obviously, any concentration of this metal could work havoc with navigational instruments.
04:45Anyone who could lay his hands on a large enough concentration of quadrilinear mix
04:51would have control of the air and the seas.
04:57Previously unknown.
05:00How come?
05:01Latitude, 68 degrees, 41 minutes north.
05:06It's above the Arctic Circle.
05:09Longitude, 144 degrees, 4 minutes west.
05:15What?
05:16Well, that's up in the Yukon.
05:22Period.
05:25I want an instantaneous report, all divisions.
05:29Subject, thrush purchases of heavy load transportation and mining facilities.
05:37Thrush, sir?
05:38Well, the only organization with facilities for a project of this kind is thrush.
05:42Therefore, Partridge is working with thrush.
05:45I want the source of this metal and any stockpile found and destroyed, promptly.
05:50Yes, sir.
05:51Mr. Curiarquin, you're particularly qualified for assignment of this kind
05:55by reason of your experience in cold climates.
05:59Do you wish Mr. Solo to accompany me, sir?
06:02Well, since Mr. Partridge may very well be implicated, I suggest you do.
06:09Well, better make the arrangements immediately.
06:13Well, good luck.
06:18Better take your winter underwear.
07:08Well, good luck.
07:39Ah, there it is. Almost.
07:43Well, it's nice to have a cold climate expert along.
07:46It's good to be aboard.
07:49You're sure on how it works?
07:51This new device from the development section.
07:53It's a miniaturized aqualung.
07:55On this side, oxygen, which feeds the face mask.
07:58Here we have an emergency fuel, which is an adaptation for frigid climates.
08:02I understand perfectly.
08:08Oh, by the way, if you do have any questions, you won't hesitate to ask.
08:39I think I have a further question.
08:41I think I have a further question.
09:01Must you really go, Uncle Emerson?
09:04Must you really go Uncle Emery? It's frightfully cold and it's such a long way.
09:11You are the most solicitous child Victoria. In other circumstances I wouldn't bother but we are
09:18expecting some rather influential visitors tomorrow aren't we? Yes of course but don't
09:25you find it odd that we have two sets of visitors Uncle Emery? Oh quite but one must be hospitable.
09:31We don't want you getting the sniffles. It was extremely thoughtful of Edith to send you here
09:40while she's visiting her cousin George in Sussex. You know it feels to me as though you've always
09:47been here in Partridgeville. I felt it was my duty to come Uncle Emery. Of course stock will
09:54show I always say. Wouldn't you rather have Enoch sledge you to the settlement? No as one used to
10:03say in India one must set a good example for the natives. I shall be back before nightfall alone.
10:10Oh by the way which husky did he put in the lead harness? Disraeli I believe. Oh fiddlesticks I
10:19told him yesterday that Disraeli was to be disciplined and Gladstone promoted to lead
10:23dog. One simply cannot find good servants anywhere anymore.
10:27Well the reception committee was class A but the accommodations leave much to be desired.
10:49We'll complain to our travel agent. Oh there comes an Eskimo. It's a girl or a woman. Hello.
10:57Hi how you're a very attractive charming Eskimo girl and I'd like you to remove these
11:26encumbrances. I'll make it my responsibility to rig next year's Miss Galaxy beauty contest
11:33so you'll win. Every girl wants to be Miss Galaxy doesn't she? Mr. Waverly is not going
11:42to be amused if our hunt for Partridge winds up two dead pigeons. Neither will I. Hey you
11:48hit something. Try it again. Partridge Emory Partridge he's a tall dark untrustworthy man.
11:57I think you overstated the case. I've always adored blonde men and I don't like Partridge.
12:19McGill University. I meant what I said about the Miss Galaxy contest Miss Murphy. Murphy? Of
12:31the gold rush Murphys. If you wish to avoid Mr. Partridge you better get out of here now because
12:38my father has long since sent word to him. By the way I'd suggest you be careful Mr. Partridge
12:45dominates this whole area including the tribe and my father who is the head man. Miss Murphy we
12:53need your help. Sorry my people can be very nasty one might even say primitive. From the water Mr.
13:03Partridge you'd like to see him. You better come this way. Hurry. Mr. Soro
13:32what a total and absolute surprise. Is it? I hadn't the faintest notion that it was you. Would
13:44I be correct in assuming that your companion is that light-haired chap with the odd name? Ah yes.
13:50Please see if you can locate Mr. Kuriakin. He can't have gone very far. I must apologize for
13:57my head man he is a little bit headstrong. After you Mr. Soro I wouldn't dream of harming so distinguished a guest.
14:27Partridge has taken the dark one away.
14:56Feed this light one to the dogs.
15:12Your father? A fine eye and a strong wrist. I would sincerely appreciate being out of range of both. Thank
15:25you Murphy. Welcome to Partridgeville Mr. Soro. I hope you'll be happy here even if only for a
15:52short while. Well I'll do my best squire. A friendly place Partridgeville. You've no idea Mr.
15:58Soro in today's frantic world how far a man must go in order to find a peaceful friendly place.
16:23My dear may I present Mr. Soro. This is my niece Victoria. Charmed. I thought that I would be
16:35returning alone. Well one must be flexible my dear. We shall soon be having his companion as well.
16:41Both are gentlemen of many accomplishments and simply overflowing with information of interest.
16:47Um Mr. Soro will not be venturing out of doors for quite a while so I think that we ought to try
16:53to find him some more suitable attire. I shall have to take your measurements.
17:04Well that seems like a fair exchange. 40. 40.
17:0931 and a half. 31 and a half. How do you keep so fit Mr. Soro? I play games. Oh do you really?
17:29Perhaps we can play some together.
17:35You can change in here.
17:39Thank you Miss Victoria.
18:09A great stroke of luck Victoria. Simply smashing.
18:24You've laid a deuce on a four. Oh so I have. Well it hardly matters today.
18:30Thrush will be here tomorrow to collect the quadrillennium. What's so unusual about that
18:35Uncle Emory? It's the final shipment. With it they will get what they need. Mastery of the sea
18:41and the air and we will receive payment. Plus an additional premium. They'll pay a king's ransom
18:47for these two. Two? Oh the headman will find the other. I say he's rather slow at dressing isn't he?
19:36So
19:58you're positively handsome Mr. Soro.
20:05There. The final touch.
20:16Amelia? No it's you. What was that funny little noise? It tells me where my friend is by a small
20:43device he wears on his necktie. But what's that? For you. Seal blubber.
20:56Thank you Murphy.
21:02It's delicious.
21:02Oh I know what you think. Raw seal blubber.
21:14But we're hungry now most of the time. Partridge doesn't let the tribe fish or hunt where it used to.
21:25Why did you come back from college Murphy?
21:27There was something peaceful here and I had an idea. I thought I could help. How?
21:37Where our village used to be before Partridge there was a beautiful unusual green stone.
21:45Wait I'll show you. With red veins in it. You've seen it? Well let's say I I know about it.
21:57Everyone even the children used to carve it. Beautiful statuettes. In Montreal I used to think
22:04if we had a way to sell our statuettes the entire village would be prosperous
22:10and we'd live happily ever after. Could you? I don't know. It's not easy to be part one thing
22:20and part another. No one treats you as if you're real. I don't know why I'm telling you all this.
22:29I better get back. He'll miss me. If you help me I'll try to help you. Just show me where that
22:36village used to be. I want to but I can't. I need a way to get there. Listen if Partridge were out
22:44of the way you could go ahead with your plan couldn't you? No it's not possible. It's a school
22:51girl's dream. Dreams can come true Murphy if you want them to. Shall we play a hand? Well let's say one.
23:15My daughter Murphy gone. Never mind about your daughter. Did you get the Chetako? Yes find him.
23:26You mean you.
23:30How distressing. Mr. Kuriakin was our guest.
23:45So
24:06guns on display are never loaded.
24:14So
24:33you spoiled my shot. Good heavens Victoria can't we keep one alive? Ladies first.
24:44You might have spared yourself the trouble. Ah true true. Stand up Mr. Soto.
24:56You really must talk to your tailor. Yes he's at the top of my list for consultations.
25:01And that cravat? Much much better. You really don't need it at all.
25:07Hmm poor Mr. Kuriakin a harpoon just like a common whale.
25:23You'll be much safer here Murphy.
25:38So
25:55Spartan for a reunion after all these years. But uh this late hour it was the best I could do.
26:02The best is none too good. Up Mr. Kuriakin at attention. It's a trickney acquired in an
26:09Olympic trial. I didn't make it. Persons of your caliber never do I'm sorry to say. The team did.
26:17Would you be so kind as to go into your room? A person of my caliber needs a hand please.
26:32So
26:43you will be returned to your father in the morning.
26:45I understand he has some words of paternal advice for you.
26:57You're worried about your father aren't you?
27:01What will he do to you? Something they'd never approve of at McGill College. I'm sorry Murphy.
27:11You know you have a particularly beautiful smile.
27:20Now to find a way. But you can't even walk. I've had a sudden recovery.
27:31You understand Mr. Solo that I dislike this chore. But as my dear wife Edith so frequently pointed
27:43out there are certain moral rules. Compliance should be rewarded and disobedience punished.
27:53Yes I can see that. You have an alert mind.
28:04To tomorrow Mr. Solo at which time I shall turn you and Mr. Kuriakin over to my clients.
28:15Ah just practice Mr. Solo. I like to be precise.
28:22Well I wouldn't have it any other way.
28:26You do have breeding. That's a style.
28:32You don't seem to be surprised to learn that your colleague is in good health and safe keeping.
28:38Oh I never doubted it for a minute. Oh really? Why not?
28:44Because Eskimos don't kill Kuriakins when they're with girls named Murphy.
28:52Pleasant dreams. And the same to you.
29:53I'm sorry.
29:57More or less.
30:05Give me your necklace.
31:22It's a special fuel.
31:52Yes.
31:57You do look well among the trophies Mr. Solo.
32:00Good taxidermists are hard to find.
32:05Of course there are other ways to preserve your child.
32:09Pity you're worth so much more alive.
32:13Well I wouldn't want you to sustain any great financial loss.
32:16My investment looks quite secure.
32:23Ah you should sell when the market is high. Is there some way I can give you a hand?
32:33You wouldn't.
32:43Here.
32:45The quadrillonium is somewhere in Partridgeville.
32:48Is that true or false?
32:52Now answer. All right.
32:57One good turn deserves another. True or false?
33:01You advance to new plateaus.
33:04All right. Fresh is coming to collect it tomorrow.
33:10Compasses, toys, formal evening wear right this way in this department.
33:41Which way is north?
33:44That way.
33:47Listen.
34:00The quadrillonium is somewhere in the dance hall.
34:03Well I'm not dressed for dancing.
34:06Well I'll go do some dancing or something else to distract them.
34:09You look for the quadrillonium, okay?
34:47Come on, come on, flip him over.
34:59Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
35:11Hey, hey, hey, listen. You never know unless you try, huh?
35:23Oh, look at this. Timber, timber.
35:27Throw him up in the chandelier, throw him up in the chandelier.
35:41Hey, two out of three.
35:45Up in the chandelier.
36:10Even up.
36:15You lose something?
36:25More or less.
36:27Good luck.
36:38Timber.
36:45Edith, of course.
37:15I'm sorry, but I had to come.
37:37Yes, I know. You adore blonde men.
37:39Oh, I seem to have caused some trouble.
37:45Yes, well life's too valuable to spend even a single minute of it in remorse.
37:59Hey!
38:05Move in that direction.
38:09Take one again.
38:21Sorry for her, Bill.
38:27Ah!
38:57Find and destroy.
39:20Easily said.
39:22The walls are reinforced concrete.
39:25I think we may be here for a while.
39:42It was wicked of you to keep secrets from me, Uncle Emery.
39:46Oh, you mean Aunt Edith's piano?
39:48Mm-hmm.
39:50I didn't know you liked music.
39:52You never mentioned that storeroom, either.
39:58Did you ever meet Aunt Edith's older brother?
40:00Perhaps, as a child.
40:02What's in it?
40:04I mean the one that lives in Kent.
40:06Charles.
40:08It's where you keep the quadrilineum, isn't it, Uncle Emery?
40:10Charles used to say that a man should always have a few secrets.
40:12Another kipper.
40:23Another kipper.
40:47What's that?
40:53Cartridge's alarm clock.
41:05Hold your breath.
41:07Ahem.
41:21You wouldn't happen to have that, would you?
41:23Of course.
41:25The little aqualung that you use to get out of the cell.
41:27You have it?
41:31Just hold your breath.
41:37Ahem.
41:47An excellent breakfast, Victoria.
41:49Aunt Edith would be proud of you.
41:53There.
41:55That should do it.
41:57You do have a lot of secrets.
41:59Uh, if you'll excuse me,
42:01there is a slight matter of business
42:03that I have to attend to.
42:05Thank you very long.
42:33Uh, when you see your daughter,
42:35she looks somewhat fatigued.
42:37Uh, in fact, lifeless.
42:39But actually, she's only asleep.
42:41You understand?
42:43I will awake her and punish her.
42:45That may take several hours.
42:47But I must say that I strongly approve of your attitude.
42:49Children are so laxly reared nowadays.
42:53Uh, please handle the bodies with care.
42:55They have some value for me.
43:05You don't know that.
43:35Ah!
44:05Ah!
44:23Thank you, Napoleon.
44:25It was a good effort.
44:27Ah, not good enough.
44:31An interesting performance, gentlemen.
44:33Uh, you may bring your little native girl
44:35with you, of course.
44:37You seem to have grown quite fond of her.
44:43No sense of propriety.
44:45Pity.
44:53Uh, to the wall,
44:55if you have no objections.
44:59Nice work, Uncle Henry.
45:01I beg your pardon.
45:03Won't you join your friends?
45:05My dear,
45:07you're going to look more and more
45:09like your Aunt Edith every day.
45:13Not a good family, really.
45:15I suppose you wouldn't care
45:17to share the quadrillion.
45:19I've not been catering to your whims
45:21in this forsaken country
45:23for a share of anything, Uncle Henry.
45:25Hands above your heads.
45:27All of you.
45:29I'm sorry, Murphy.
45:31Don't be, please.
45:33I brought this on myself.
45:35Not without my help.
45:37And I did promise you
45:39your dreams would come true.
45:41Mr. Partridge, uh, considering
45:43the gravity of the occasion,
45:45I should like very much to stand
45:47right next to my dear friend, Mr. Keoghan.
45:49A very tender sentiment, Mr. Solo.
45:51Rather unlike you, I would say.
45:53Victoria, would you have any objection
45:55to your prisoners lining up in a different order?
45:57Sentiment, my dear, your sentiment.
45:59Thank you, Henry.
46:01Ahem.
46:09Ahem.
46:11Ahem.
46:13Ahem.
46:15Ahem.
46:17Ahem.
46:19Ahem.
46:21Ahem.
46:23Ahem.
46:25A catheter.
46:27My congratulations.
46:29A trustworthy child.
46:31There's not much time before Thrush arrives.
46:33Dynamite is in the trading post.
46:35Mr. Solo, uh,
46:37will you take me with you?
46:39No, but, uh,
46:41I've come to admire your style.
46:43No, I think not, Henry.
46:45Well, then, may I inquire
46:47just what you plan to do with me
46:49because it's a matter of some personal interest.
46:51Napoleon,
46:53find and destroy.
46:55Ah, good. I want you here when Thrush arrives
46:57so you can discuss
46:59why the quadrillennium was destroyed.
47:01I think you'll find, uh,
47:03mercy, um, tender.
47:05Ooh.
47:07Ooh.
47:25There must be a simpler way.
47:27No one in there anymore?
47:29No, they are long gone,
47:31as we should be.
47:33Ready? Yeah.
47:38Henry!
47:49Gee, I've always wanted
47:51to throw one of those things.
47:53Yeah, well, now you know how Captain Ahab
47:55felt when he harpooned Moby Dick.
47:57I don't see
47:59what you're so cheery about.
48:01You don't look very healthy, either.
48:03I don't know. Feels good
48:05to rest up for a bit.
48:17Well?
48:19What do you think?
48:21Well, I see you've given up the idea
48:23of rejoining your tribe.
48:25Oh, not really.
48:27I decided to go back to McGill
48:29and finish my master's.
48:31Whatever you do, don't lose the native charm
48:33Oh, so you like it.
48:35Well, it may be primitive,
48:37but who wants to get complicated
48:39about that sort of thing?
48:43Doesn't take much to rub off
48:45the thin veneer of civilization, does it?
48:53Bye, boys.
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