Tickle (2013) Season 1 Episode 11: Shine-squatch
Tickle (2013) Season 1 Episode 11: Shine-squatch
Tickle's mysterious enemy is getting closer. When hiding in the carriage house and living off of moonshine fails, it's time for one last desperate attempt at fast cash. Tickle, Meg, Howard, and Mo pursue three separate schemes.
#tickle #moonshiners
Tickle's mysterious enemy is getting closer. When hiding in the carriage house and living off of moonshine fails, it's time for one last desperate attempt at fast cash. Tickle, Meg, Howard, and Mo pursue three separate schemes.
#tickle #moonshiners
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TVTranscript
00:00Sometimes you can run, sometimes you can hide.
00:11But sooner or later, you're going to have to stand up
00:14and stare danger right in the face
00:16and threaten to tell its parents.
00:18Let them handle that stuff.
00:24Tickle took his winnings from the big race
00:26and decided to double down
00:28by opening his own casino.
00:30High roller wins again.
00:31Where he proved the house doesn't always win.
00:34You don't have enough to back my bet, do you?
00:36With nothing left to offer his pursuers,
00:39Tickle's arranged for what he considers
00:41a clandestine meeting.
00:51Drunk cow always walks north.
00:55Is that supposed to mean something to me?
00:58It's cold, man.
01:00Cut through all the bullshit
01:02and tell me why you drug my ass down here.
01:05Well, this will explain it.
01:13Well, that's pretty damn pathetic.
01:16I'm out of options, Bill.
01:18I'm out of shine, I'm out of money.
01:20This guy's closing in, and he's closing in fast on me.
01:23I need your help.
01:25I really don't want to get involved in it.
01:27Matter of fact, don't come by the shop.
01:30I don't have nothing to do with you.
01:33You just gonna bail out on me like that?
01:35After all the time we done spent together?
01:38You Grandpa Bill?
01:40Not to you.
01:42Bill, how's it going today?
01:44What the hell you want?
01:45Damn, boy, you like a bad penny.
01:46Just keep showing up.
01:47Here's living proof.
01:49Can't trust you.
01:50Don't flash your cash.
01:51What?
01:52Riddles.
01:53That's not a riddle.
01:54What, do I look like Ghostbusters?
01:55Get your little bony ass off of my property?
01:57All right.
01:59Tough love.
02:01Bill, you gotta help.
02:05They say you can run, but you can't hide.
02:08That's not true.
02:10If they can't find you, they can't hurt you.
02:13Where am I supposed to hide, Bill?
02:15Bill?
02:18Tickle will never disappear as well as Bill,
02:21but some people are a lot easier to hide from than others.
02:26What's up, Buttercup?
02:28Where's your little buddy at?
02:29Tickle?
02:30Yeah.
02:31No one seems to know exactly where Tickle's been,
02:32but there has been some weird Tickle sightings
02:34over the last few days.
02:40Welcome to Dairy Queen.
02:41Can I take your order?
02:42Can I get a cheeseburger?
02:43All right, I got a cheeseburger.
02:44May I get you anything else today?
02:47I want some ice cream, too.
02:50He has shut himself up in the carriage house
02:53and won't come out.
02:54God.
02:55Is he drunk?
02:56I am not sure.
02:57He's been out there long enough to be drunk,
02:59so maybe you guys can come out.
03:01All right, we'll get it.
03:02Thank you, Megan.
03:03If I was stuck in the shop all day with Megan,
03:04I'd probably lock myself in the carriage house, too.
03:06If we ain't back in 20 minutes, we're drunk, too.
03:09That's what I'm talking about.
03:18Tickle!
03:19Who is it?
03:20Tickle, what are you doing, boy?
03:22Open up, man, it's us.
03:24What's the password?
03:26Moonshot?
03:27Nope.
03:28He's fucked up as a flip-flop, ain't he?
03:30Are you drunk?
03:31Yeah, a little.
03:32I ain't letting you in without a password.
03:33The password is Tickle's crazy.
03:36No.
03:37No, Tickle is not.
03:38Yeah, he is.
03:39You know, your cheese done slid off his cracker, boy.
03:42Screw you, man.
03:43What?
03:44Get in here, man.
03:46What in the world is wrong with you, dude?
03:50I still kind of want to know what the password is.
03:52Probably right now is not the right time to ask.
03:54What's the deal?
03:55Why are you locking us out, man?
03:56There's people watching me.
03:57What are you talking about, man?
03:59You've been held up in there for days drinking moonshine.
04:01Y'all hadn't seen this?
04:02I did not see it.
04:03I don't know what you're talking about, man.
04:05People watching me all the time.
04:08Tickle, I think you just need some sleep, bro.
04:10No, I'm telling you, my house is bugged.
04:12Your house ain't bugged.
04:13He done got to the old lady, too.
04:15And the stuff she's asking me, it's got to be coming straight from him.
04:18Tickle!
04:20What are you doing leaving the seat up again?
04:25You're acting a little bit on the psychotic side, man.
04:27You got me worried, dude.
04:28Listen.
04:29We got to get the money to pay this guy off and now.
04:32He knows.
04:33You sure?
04:34It's either that or we're dead.
04:36Tickle's showing all the classic signs of shyness and madness.
04:39That's a persistent belief that everyone's out to get you.
04:42Normally brought on by stealing someone's moonshine out the woods.
04:45Come on, dude.
04:46You need to get out of here.
04:47This place is getting to you.
04:48Yeah, you've been here for too long, dude.
04:49Something done cross wires, man.
04:51You've been using the bathroom mat, man.
04:54Don't worry about all that.
04:56Let's just get out of here.
04:57Someone should worry about that if they want to get their security deposit back.
05:01But the gang's got bigger concerns than who'll clean up Tickle's latest mess.
05:05All right, y'all.
05:07Now, what exactly is this all about?
05:10About making money.
05:11We've been not very successful at what we've been doing so far, so.
05:15It's not going good around here.
05:17No, it's not going good.
05:19The only way you're going to make good money is by hard work.
05:25Both of them two hands right there.
05:27I'm worried about Tickle.
05:28He's never even considered working in Honest Dave's work.
05:31So, what, you got any ideas, anybody?
05:34I do have a great idea.
05:36What is it?
05:37My dog just went in heat.
05:38Yeah?
05:39Get together a stud service.
05:40I can rent her out.
05:41They're canine escorts, huh?
05:43Yeah.
05:44You got a minute to let the pimp howl at you?
05:45A what?
05:46Do this pretty little thing right here.
05:48You into breeding?
05:49Don't be dumb.
05:50Come get you some.
05:51These girls are ready.
05:52They hot.
05:53Oh, easy, little mama.
05:54You my number one.
05:55This has had to be one of the stupidest things I believe I've seen.
05:58Stupid sales, brother.
06:00If stupid sales, Howard would have gotten rich off of one of these crazy ideas.
06:04I mean, look.
06:06It's a front scratcher.
06:08A back scratcher for your front.
06:10Since y'all are throwing out crazy ideas, why don't one of y'all donate a kidney?
06:15You're the mother.
06:16You're the one who's supposed to be giving and loving.
06:19I'll give a kidney.
06:20I'm going to die.
06:22I got a lot of shine to filter.
06:24When you got two, you only need one.
06:26You got four.
06:27What do you need all four of them for?
06:29I mean, that's just damn right greedy.
06:32Time for scheming and scamming is over.
06:35Time to put them two hands to hard work.
06:37Tickle's wrong.
06:38It's about working smarter, not harder.
06:40That's why I went out and bought a goat.
06:43All you got to do is keep it safe, feed it, clean up after it,
06:46and I never have to mow the lawn again.
06:48Well, I'm going to tell you what.
06:49Let's all meet back at camp and see who made the most money this week.
06:52Sounds good to me.
06:53With the clock running down and Tickle's life on the line,
06:56his best friends get right to work finding a solution.
07:00This is damn flawless, man.
07:02What happened to the other one that you had with the beer thing?
07:06Use the cup for your fishing pole.
07:08You set the hook.
07:12Oh, that was too much foam, cousin.
07:13I've had to eliminate that.
07:14I mean, this is damn flawless.
07:16Look at the gyronomics on this thing.
07:18The gyronomics, huh?
07:19Yeah, cousin.
07:20Once you become a scientist like myself, you learn these words.
07:24Man, what the hell do you reckon is going on with Tickle and all this paranoia crap?
07:26He's gone crazy, that's for sure.
07:28I don't know, man.
07:29There might be some validity to it.
07:30I mean, I don't want to get killed if this man's for real.
07:32Oh, that's just a bunch of baloney.
07:34Tickle's just paranoid and crazy.
07:36You got stupid ideas and we can't catch no fish.
07:38Just a bad day.
07:40You done scared him away, you're ugly.
07:42Be quiet, you're scaring the fish.
07:47Stop looking at me like that, man.
07:49I got the perfect idea.
07:50What you got rumbling around in your head now?
07:52I hope it's better than that.
07:53I know a man that'll buy Sasquatch videos.
07:56What, we gonna call up the Sasquatch?
07:58No, dummy, you're gonna be the Sasquatch.
08:01You're crazy, man.
08:02I videotape it with my camera phone.
08:05You look like it.
08:06You got the beard, you're hairy-chested, you stink.
08:09No better part to put that on.
08:10I resent that last remark.
08:12You don't even need much fur.
08:14I can get you running through the woods naked and I can sell it.
08:17Twigs and berries, right?
08:19Well, Sasquatch don't be wearing no pants anyways, brother.
08:21He just got a little fuzzy nuts.
08:23I reckon I fit the part there.
08:25God, cousin.
08:27I'm telling you, this will work.
08:28You got the look, man.
08:29All I got to do is put a little makeup on you or something, man.
08:31You'll wash up and you'll look like a damn Sasquatch.
08:34Well, I got to be ugly.
08:35I thought Sasquatch was a beautiful creature.
08:37Can I be a pretty Sasquatch?
08:39I mean, I can put bows on you if you want.
08:41You can have some pink bows if it helps you.
08:43I'll do your nails.
08:44I don't care.
08:45I don't know if that'll sell.
08:46I'm sure Mo will be the prettiest Bigfoot in Gretna,
08:50or at least in the top three.
08:53Where am I supposed to hide, Bill?
08:55Bill?
08:56Abandoned by his mentor, Grandpa Bill.
08:58There's people watching me.
09:00He's certain that his enemies are closing in.
09:02Time to put them two hands to hard work.
09:05Tickle's so desperate for money, he's willing to earn it.
09:08The time for get-rich-quick schemes is over.
09:12It's time for get-fiscally-responsible-slowly schemes.
09:15I'll try this one out.
09:19When somebody you owe money to finds you hiding, you're dead.
09:23But when they find you working your butt off to pay them back,
09:26now how could they be mad at that?
09:29Hi.
09:30Hello.
09:31My name is Tickle.
09:32How you doing today?
09:33I'm good.
09:34How are you?
09:35I'm doing all right.
09:36I was driving through the neighborhood,
09:37and I noticed your lawn could use some mowing.
09:38Well, actually, I got two kids
09:39that I've paid from the neighborhood to do it.
09:41All I need is a good sales pitch
09:43and some of the old Tickle charm.
09:46Look, I got years of experience on these kids,
09:49and I can do a whole lot better than what they're doing, okay?
09:53All right, we'll give it a shot.
09:55All right, thank you.
09:56Thanks.
09:58Usually I spend all summer cutting my own grass for free.
10:02Now I'm getting paid for it,
10:04and nobody's yelling out the window that I'm doing it wrong.
10:07Tickle!
10:10Of course, that doesn't mean he's actually doing it right.
10:15Uh-oh.
10:18Tickle's trying, but nothing teaches a child,
10:22responsibility like a summer job.
10:33Hey, man, what do you think you're doing?
10:35Cutting grass.
10:36This is our neighborhood, man.
10:37We handle the grass cutting around here.
10:39You're used to it.
10:40We'll see.
10:41I got grass to cut.
10:43What's up?
10:46Whoa, whoa, whoa.
10:53This is my lawn now.
10:55All done.
10:57What do you think?
10:58It looks good, right?
10:59It looks good.
11:00I thought I had some flowers, though.
11:04No, all that's just like it was, just like it was.
11:08Okay, so don't forget, tell all your friends about me, okay?
11:11Okay, thanks.
11:12I'll be back to see you next week, all right?
11:14All right, thank you.
11:15Bye.
11:16While Tickle discovers the value of hard work 30 years late,
11:19Howard's about to discover whether or not a plan failing in the woods makes a sound.
11:24If I was a Sasquatch, this would be my damn living room, brother.
11:27Look, I've had the man cave over here.
11:30Those look pretty good, man.
11:32You smell that?
11:33Yeah.
11:34It smells like a Bigfoot took a dump around here.
11:36Excuse me.
11:37No, that's not Bigfoot.
11:38No, that was Little Foot.
11:40People pay a lot of money for a Sasquatch video.
11:42Oh, yeah.
11:43Oh, my God.
11:44It's like the days when you played football, cousin.
11:46I'm going to make you a warrior.
11:47And Moe's the closest thing I have to a Bigfoot around here.
11:49You look good, man.
11:50Open up.
11:51They stuck together.
11:52Can't see.
11:53Moe's already big, hairy, and smelly.
11:55Should the long side be in the front?
11:58He loves the woods.
11:59It won't take much convincing to make people believe he's a Bigfoot.
12:01I'm going to stitch you up like a baby.
12:03Oh, did you lose, boy?
12:05Not so tight.
12:06That's it.
12:07You look like a Sasquatch.
12:08How's that feel?
12:11Feels like I've got duct tape up my ass.
12:13That's how it feels.
12:14This duct tape's kind of snug, but I don't know.
12:17Other than that, this just feels kind of right.
12:20Yet, it's so very, very wrong.
12:26Like it?
12:27Greetings.
12:28You don't think I can do this?
12:29Have a seat.
12:31Tickle's just jealous because I have the best ideas around here.
12:34Of course, I did have the worst idea when I decided to work here.
12:38What are you going to do?
12:39Flip some cards or something?
12:40I don't even need to flip cards to read your mind.
12:43Well, what am I thinking then?
12:46You stole a guy's moonshine.
12:48You're using the store as a front to sell it.
12:51And you've got to make back the money to pay the guy before he ends up killing you.
12:55Did I read your mind?
12:57I don't know about reading my mind.
12:58I guess maybe you've been paying attention.
13:00I'm always paying attention.
13:02Well, look, if this is bringing in money, then keep doing it.
13:05$80 a session?
13:07How many sessions of this you got?
13:09The rest of the week is booked.
13:11Holy crap.
13:12Hell, for that much money, I'll become a psychic.
13:15I'm going to hold up a picture and tell you exactly what you're thinking.
13:23Big dummy.
13:25By the way, I'm not paying for this session.
13:33Sit for the ride, cousin.
13:35Here's to making movies.
13:37Remember, I want you to enter Bigfoot.
13:39Growl.
13:41All right?
13:43Let me hear it.
13:45Okay, that's it. That's what I'm looking for.
13:47Go with the gusto. Now get in there.
13:51Make it look good. I want to hear it. Sell it.
13:55All right, there we go.
13:57Loud and proud.
13:59Big dummy, you're going the wrong way.
14:02You don't come out where I can see you.
14:04Come on back through, cousin. Let's try this, man.
14:07Where the hell are you going now?
14:10Hey!
14:15Thanks for coming in to see me. What can I help you with?
14:17Me and my wife, we have two kids.
14:19We're leaning on not having anymore, but I'm kind of scared of getting you now.
14:23Well, we'll consult the cards and see what they have to say.
14:27Death?
14:28The death card? Am I going to die?
14:30The death card isn't always bad.
14:32It just depends on what it's next to.
14:37Three death cards.
14:41I swear, there's only supposed to be one of those in this deck.
14:44What does that mean?
14:46It's going to bring on the death of all of your worries.
14:52All right, cousin, from the top, let's do this now. Get it right.
14:56Sounds good.
14:58Okay, mark your territory.
15:00What the hell are you doing, cousin? Bring that here, you idiot.
15:05Come on, man. You got to take this serious. Give me the jug.
15:09I'm just trying to stay in character.
15:11There's only two things we know about Sasquatch.
15:13One, they love moonshine.
15:15And two, they don't talk.
15:17Get back in there. Let's get it right this time.
15:20There we go.
15:21Check a tree.
15:25Oh yeah, this looks good. Looks good.
15:31Mark it.
15:34This is the money shot, Mo.
15:38Yeah, that's it. That's it.
15:40It's looking good.
15:42What's wrong, man?
15:43That's it. I ain't doing it no more. That's it.
15:45Hold on, brother.
15:47Motivation's on the way.
15:50My husband, he plays cards.
15:53Sometimes, like, till four in the morning.
15:56Is my husband really playing cards, or is he really cheating?
15:59Well, let's consult the cards, and we'll find out.
16:03Betrayal.
16:05Oh.
16:06The fool.
16:07Does that mean I'm the fool?
16:08No, no.
16:09It's just...
16:10I don't think he's fooling you at all. I think it's everyone else.
16:14People will believe anything you tell them,
16:17as long as you throw in some good news and compliments.
16:20But I'm sure someone as good-looking as you already knew that.
16:25Was that believable?
16:26Was that believable?
16:27You know what?
16:28I see another appointment in your future.
16:35It's all right, man. It's all right.
16:37Come on.
16:39It's all right.
16:49Never trust them sasquatch.
16:51They're tricky.
16:53I need some help.
16:54You're all right.
16:55Hold on, cousin.
16:56Hold on.
16:59$$%& man.
17:02Thank you, buddy.
17:07Clearly, Bigfoot's only natural enemy is sobriety.
17:11Oh, spider.
17:13And spiders.
17:19What politics actually is,
17:21is a race to see who can stuff the much crap in a burlap sack the quickest.
17:27And whoever's got the biggest sack at the end of the race wins.
17:30Right?
17:31Just so happens we got some burlap sacks.
17:33Well, you know what?
17:34They're full of crap.
17:35I'm tired of the burlap sack, and I'm tired of the crap.
17:38Yeah.
17:40Here's what I propose to do.
17:41That's it, buddy.
17:42I propose to take the burlap sack full of crap
17:45and dump it right on everybody who's stuffing the crap in it.
17:48Who's stuffing the crap in it.
17:51And they ain't used to being dirty.
17:52Nah.
17:53And working.
17:54Ain't seen a dirty man.
17:55They're paying somebody to put the crap in the sack.
17:57Yeah.
17:58Can't even do it to self, can they?
17:59Exactly.
18:00By the time a little bit of that crap gets on them, they done.
18:02Well, you want to be a crap sack stuffer?
18:06It pays good.
18:07I mean, you know.
18:08Depends on what the benefits look like.
18:10It's going to be $%&&, I promise.
18:12$%&&.
18:17Oh, yeah, this looks good.
18:18After getting back to nature,
18:20$%&&, I'm drunk.
18:22Howard and Moe have managed to get a meeting with Gretna's most respected Bigfoot expert.
18:27Hey, honey.
18:28There's some boys here to see you.
18:29All right, send them in, Mom.
18:31Who is not yet an expert on talking to girls.
18:34Hey, boy, how's it going?
18:35What's up, man?
18:36We got a video, brother.
18:37You won't believe it, man.
18:38It was a damn monkey the size of, I don't know.
18:40No, it wasn't.
18:41It was a Sasquatch, Bigfoot.
18:43A Bigfoot around here?
18:44Yeah, it was a great big one, too.
18:45I mean, he must have been 10 foot tall, wasn't he?
18:48Look, plug him in.
18:49You ain't going to believe this.
18:50This kid is crazy about big feet.
18:51One time, he paid $300 just for one Sasquatch turd.
18:54It's crazy, man.
18:55It's the biggest thing I've ever seen, man.
18:56I don't know if it's going to kill us, eat us, or what.
18:58This video's got to be worth at least four turds.
19:00I don't know.
19:01I don't see nothing yet.
19:02He's in there, man.
19:03I promise you he's in there.
19:05I mean, we caught him walking good.
19:06Look, there he is.
19:07See him?
19:08See him?
19:09Look.
19:10Yeah.
19:11That thing's every bit of 18 feet tall, man.
19:12Now that I look at it again.
19:13I mean, it's huge, dude.
19:15Absolutely phenomenal.
19:16I'm telling you.
19:17You've never seen nothing like this in your life.
19:19Yeah.
19:20I wish you could smell on TV, I tell you.
19:22Yeah.
19:23This kid's got to believe us.
19:24I mean, I've given my best performance since I was
19:26the lead role in our school play.
19:28There's no place like home.
19:30There's no place like home.
19:34All right.
19:35So what do you think, man?
19:38Well...
19:41I think I'm going to put this on part ten of my
19:43DVD collection, Unexplained Phenomenon.
19:45Outstanding.
19:46Cool, man.
19:47I'm glad to hear that.
19:48Yeah.
19:49Let me know if you find anything else, too.
19:50We'll do it, brother.
19:51Thank you very much, man.
19:53If they're that excited about being on one DVD,
19:56imagine if it goes viral or even airs on television.
20:00I'm going to show you what fat stacks look like.
20:02Look at that, boy.
20:04That's exactly what we need right there.
20:06That's $2,500, bro.
20:07$2,500 right there.
20:10Look, I ain't do quite as good,
20:12but I got five on mowing grass.
20:14Five for going legit?
20:16The first couple of loans went well,
20:18but then I remembered something I had to take care of.
20:25Howard doesn't need to know that the rest of that money
20:27is a loan from Dana, and neither does Dana.
20:30Well, you know what?
20:31I done what I had to do.
20:32I made some good, honest money.
20:33Legit, not legit.
20:35Who says crime don't pay?
20:37Exactly.
20:38It just boils down to this.
20:39Hey!
20:40Oh!
20:42How much is it?
20:43$2,000.
20:44Not bad for a size.
20:45That's awesome.
20:46$5,000, though, is not enough.
20:48By the way, guy came by the store today looking for you.
20:52Can I help you?
20:53I'm looking for Tickle.
20:54Tickle's not here.
20:55I'm looking for something he has of mine.
20:57He said you had something that he wanted.
21:01Even if you got people willing to stand with you
21:04to the bitter end,
21:05the end's still gonna be pretty damn bitter.
21:07So eventually, you're gonna have to man up
21:10and swallow your pride.
21:11And if you're lucky, it might even taste good.
21:15We up S***y Creek without a paddle.