Video Information: 06.03.23, Delhi University (Online), Greater Noida
Context:
~ How to not feel betrayed?
~ Why do humans lie to one another?
~ Who is the real soulmate?
~ How can I escape the influence of others?
~ How to stay away from unworthy people?
~ How to forgive and forget?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Context:
~ How to not feel betrayed?
~ Why do humans lie to one another?
~ Who is the real soulmate?
~ How can I escape the influence of others?
~ How to stay away from unworthy people?
~ How to forgive and forget?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00What do you mean? So I'm like very intrigued to know who do you think a real soulmate is?
00:08Like nowadays I have known people love talking about like he's my soulmate or like she's my
00:13soulmate and stuff like that but I wonder how they're like very sure that the partner who
00:18they are with is their soulmate. So I would like really love to know who do you think the real
00:24soulmate is? Like what do you think the term soulmate means?
00:34It merely means you know somebody is still half asleep you need to some throw some water on their
00:42face. What is the soul in the first place? What do you mean by soul?
00:55The soul is a concept in the mind, right? The soul is a concept in the mind. What is the mind?
01:03The seat of all experience. So your existence is basically the existence of the mind.
01:09Where is all this seeing, listening, experiencing taking place? That place is called the mind.
01:19So that place has a lot of thoughts and ideas. The mind has a lot of thoughts and ideas. Soul is
01:26an idea, a concept in the mind and the mind has varying levels of qualities.
01:41You can have a mind of a very fallen level, you can have a mind of a mediocre level and you could
01:46have an excellent mind. So soul is an idea that exists only in mediocre minds.
01:59In realized minds there is nothing called the soul.
02:04There is the mind, you know there is just the mind.
02:10If the soul is just the mind then what does soulmate mean? It simply means mindmate.
02:16And what is the mind? If it harbors the idea of soul, we said it must be a mediocre mind.
02:24If it is harboring concepts like the soul, so then mindmate would mean somebody so mediocre
02:34that he chooses to meet a mediocre mind. Are you getting it?
02:46If you are someone who subscribes to silly ideas like soulmate,
02:53then you will get a soulmate who is equally silly to subscribe to similarly silly ideas.
03:01So who you are is what you get.
03:05So you already believed in stupid things like soulmate and then you will get somebody equally
03:10silly, he will come and say I also believe in similar things and the two of you will
03:14just get together and produce kids who will be even more advanced in their levels of.
03:26We get so carried away by the hormonal rush.
03:44That we just don't stop to ask ourselves what is really going on?
03:49What is going on? What are these thoughts I've started patronizing?
03:58What ideas have I started believing in? Where are they coming from?
04:03Did I think of these things since birth or since childhood? No. Somebody inserted these ideas
04:14in my mind. Who was it? What are the source of these ideas? And once you see where these
04:22things are coming from, you start knowing that these are all very foreign, foreign not in terms
04:29of other countries, foreign in terms of not being you. The society, the world has placed all these
04:37things in your mind and we were not discreet enough, not careful enough.
04:47We were not attentive enough to not to allow such things to enter.
04:53First of all, there is a society outside so ever ready to condition you and then there is the body
05:01in the hormonal stage when you are growing up, when you are a teenager and
05:23and you are so ready. There is something within crying for experience
05:30and the fantastic notion that great happiness can be had through experience that's called romance.
05:41Cultivating fantastic images of experience that's called romance,
05:45that's the very definition of romance. So, these two things then go hand in hand.
05:54One thing aggravates the effect of the other thing. Which two things? The bodily condition,
06:03there is a hormonal rush and the effect of the society and these two things get together
06:10to make you believe in stuff like soulmate and so all that is quite silly.
06:20Quite silly? You see, if I look at it from another angle,
06:27we are born mated. To be mated is to be wedded or coupled to something, right?
06:36To be very closely joined to something is called being mated, right? So, when the kid is born,
06:43please see, the kid is already coupled with so many things. The kid is wedded to ignorance,
06:55to fear, to greed. Is it not? Please see, how intelligent is the kid? So, the kid is wedded to
07:06ignorance. How discrete is the kid? How much in control or command is the kid?
07:14So, the kid is wedded to helplessness. We are already born mated. The purpose of life,
07:24therefore, is not to search for another mate called the soulmate. The purpose of life is to demate.
07:31Every girl, when she is born, she already has a thousand husbands. And when the boy is born,
07:40he already has a thousand wives. The purpose of life is to separate from each of these
07:46and their numbers are staggeringly large, thousand. So, it takes a lot to divorce them
07:53one after the other. That's the purpose of life. That's what entire self-knowledge is about.
07:58That's what entire self-knowledge is about. So, you are already born, wedded and mated.
08:05And then you want to add another one to the list. How wise is that?
08:11You already have so many things inside you that you call your own, right? Now, you want to have
08:16another fellow that you want to call your own boyfriend or husband. But you already had so
08:23many things that you called your own, your name, your gender, your religion, your education,
08:28your parents, your property, your thoughts, your opinions, your feelings, your wardrobe.
08:34You are already calling these your own, your experiences, your friends. You are already
08:39calling these your own, your thoughts, your emotions. You are already calling these your
08:43own. The fact is none of these is really your own. So, what is the purpose of life? To add another
08:50one to the list of these things that you call your own? No, that would be stupid and meaningless
08:57and also useless because you know when you will be adding another one to that list,
09:04the decision to choose that particular one will be coming from stuff that is not really your own.
09:11For example, if your thoughts and emotions are not your own, are your decisions your own? Please
09:18tell me. If your thoughts, decisions, ideas are not your own, then your decisions cannot be your
09:23own. Then the decision to have a soulmate, even that will not be your own. So, this soulmate will
09:31not be your own. Just as the hundred other things, the hundred prior things are not your own.
09:38So, pointless going for this soulmate or whatever it is. First thing, unmate or demate, decouple.
09:48The purpose of life is not to add to an ever-growing list of your associations and
09:54attachments and identities. The purpose of life is a restoration, a revert to your pristine pure self.
10:06And when you are that, then you have beautiful relationships.
10:10In your aloneness, in your solitary completeness, you get the power to have clean,
10:20pure, wonderful relationships and the name for such relationships then is love.
10:30There is no love in the soulmate business, mind you. Love is there when you have relationships
10:38that come out of your solitary completeness. I'm not dying to be welded to someone.
10:54I'm great, complete and beautiful in my aloneness.
10:57Now, when you relate to someone, there is no exploitation, no violence,
11:05no hunger or thirst in the relationship.
11:11Now, the relationship is like a beautiful duet. The two singers are capable of producing a great
11:19song alone and when they get together, the combination is beautiful.
11:28That does not mean that they cannot have beauty in their own alone respective spheres.
11:34They are already beautiful.
11:39Are you getting it?
11:44So, do you think like social media is like kind of a part of that foreign thing,
11:49which is convincing us to do this stuff, like what you said soulmate?
11:57Where did you first find me, if at all?
12:00Social media.
12:03So, it depends on you. You can look for a soulmate on social media
12:08or you can be unfortunate enough to stumble on somebody like me on social media.
12:18So, it depends on you what you want to use social media for.
12:22Social media represents the entire universe.
12:25Everybody is there. All influences can be found there.
12:29The worst kind of stinking garbage is there on social media
12:33and the most beautiful kind of pearls are also there.
12:37It's just that 99.9% is garbage.
12:42So, you have to be a lover of pearls to really dig out the real thing.
12:52Thank you so much.
13:00Tanvi, you can ask your follow-up.
13:05Okay, thank you.
13:07So, you have said that it's a purpose of life that to unmute everything.
13:12So, at last, what will be mine in this world?
13:16Because at the end, I will be empty.
13:19I will unmute my experience.
13:20I will unmute everything from my life.
13:26Then what is mine exactly at the end?
13:28I will be sort of free.
13:29Tanvi, Tanvi, Tanvi, Tanvi.
13:31By the frequency of your questions, you will receive instant liberation this evening itself
13:38and that is dangerous.
13:41You have asked the final question.
13:45When everything is gone, what remains?
13:47When everything is gone, even this questionnaire is gone
13:51and so this question too is gone, what remains?
13:57Just completeness, just peace, total realization
14:00in which you are free to fly, free to enjoy, just freedom, just freedom.
14:07So, at this age, at this point of time,
14:11I'm not able to get any type of solitary completeness just like you.
14:15You know that, right?
14:17As long as you call your age your own, there is no liberation.
14:25The age is of your body, not of your consciousness.
14:29So, you are identifying with your body and your gender and the lifespan
14:34and that does not bode well for liberation.
14:38So, it's not that you have to worry about the ultimate state.
14:44You start taking baby steps.
14:46You see what your major obstacles and bondages are and challenge them with courage.
14:54Do not worry too much about what will happen in the future
14:58and of course, do not try to speculate about the end state.
15:02There is nothing called an end state.
15:05Your purpose in life currently as a brave girl with a verve to live
15:14is to identify where your weaknesses are, where your fears are and boldly challenge them.
15:25Okay, thank you.
15:26Yes.
15:30Sir, as people are so keenly interested to being like committed to someone,
15:35what I have experienced is when you get committed to someone,
15:39your emotions get dependent on them.
15:42Like their positivity as well as negativity get transferred to you.
15:47How to overcome that dependency?
15:49Like how to overcome that feeling?
15:55You're saying you want to stay committed and yet not have the other influence you?
16:01Like might be positive influence, but not the negative one.
16:04Like if the person...
16:06It's not like that.
16:08What you are saying is that you want to stay within sniffing distance of someone,
16:16but you want to smell only their aroma and not their stink.
16:21That's not possible.
16:23But sir, sometimes that negativity like causes you some harm.
16:27Like you are not able to focus on your life or your classes.
16:32See kid, it depends on the foundation of the relationship.
16:36It depends on what keeps the two people together.
16:41I wish I'm totally wrong, but in 99.9999999% cases,
16:48what keeps the two people together is just the bodily drive, nothing else.
16:54On top of the bodily thing, you can have emotions, you can have experiences,
16:58you can have this and that, but the bedrock is simply sexual.
17:01And when the two of you have been brought together by your genitals,
17:05which is the blunt and ugly truth,
17:07then you have already not cared for the higher things in life.
17:14Now, why do you want to demand the higher things in life?
17:19Wait.
17:21Wait.
17:31You see, after you are married, you say,
17:38you know, I return home from my workplace and I'm a professor
17:47or a manager in some financial services firm.
17:50And I want to discuss accounts, economics, finance with my wife,
17:55but she does not understand anything.
17:58All she talks of is some nonsensical stuff.
18:04And we could reverse the genders here.
18:08The wife comes back from her workplace
18:12and she wants to talk about politics or sports or literature.
18:20And the husband says, no, I'm interested only in some bodily stuff.
18:26Now, do either of these have the right to complain?
18:31When you were choosing your wife, did you first of all test her on her knowledge of economics?
18:38Then you tested her only on her figure.
18:43See, you can poke holes in my theory and I'll coolly say, fine, I'm wrong.
18:50If that helps you or you could try to understand what I'm pointing at.
18:55I have zero urge to be proven right.
19:01My purpose is to help you not to be proven right.
19:10So now you are saying my wife does not understand economics.
19:14If you wanted a wife who could understand economics,
19:17you should have first of all kept economics as the foundation of your relationship.
19:24Or you should have kept wisdom as the foundation of your relationship.
19:27But at that time, only hormones are the foundation of the relationship.
19:31In fact, they always are.
19:33You might marry even at the age of 40, still it is hormonal business.
19:37And there are people who marry at the age of 80, still it is hormonal business.
19:41From first breath till the last, it is just hormonal business.
19:45So once you have brought home a wife or a husband like that, how can you complain now?
19:53It's like bringing home a two wheeler and then complaining that it does not have a reverse gear.
20:06Sir, you love the two wheels when you first look at them and you fell in love
20:13and you said these two wheels are what I want to bring home.
20:16And now you are saying there is no reverse gear.
20:19If you really wanted a reverse gear, then you should have said four wheels, not two.
20:25So this positivity and negativity that you are talking of,
20:30these things should be kept in mind at the time when you enter into the relationship.
20:37Not later on.
20:40When you look at a girl, don't just look at her as a piece of flesh.
20:45Same applies to girls.
20:46When you look at a boy, don't look at her as just a body.
20:51Look at the entire being, ask yourself, what is it that I'm really looking for?
20:58Have a dialogue with yourself, have a continuous dialogue with yourself.
21:02What is the purpose of life?
21:03If I'm inviting somebody into my life and that fellow will be around me for long hours every day,
21:10what is the quality of the person that I want?
21:15Because it's a very, it's a very, very important decision it is.
21:22When that fellow is afar, it looks like some kind of a video game,
21:27chasing that person and getting that person's consent and all those things.
21:33But once that person enters your life, it's a 24-hour thing.
21:38And if you miss sending him or her a good night message, you know you will not have a good morning.
21:46See, you are smiling now, you know what I mean, we all have been sufferers alike.
21:58Now, so when you enter into the relationship, you must know this is what you are signing up for.
22:06And once you have seen the entire gamut of it, you must also ask her political views.
22:12You must also ask whether she understands any bit of history.
22:17And if you are a girl, then you must ask the boy, had I had some other kind of shape and figure,
22:23would you have still come to me?
22:26And if you are a boy, then you must ask the girl, would you have still come to me?
22:31And if you are a girl, then you must ask the boy, had I had some other kind of shape and figure,
22:37would you have still come to me?
22:41Try to discuss the really important things with your boy or man.
22:48When you sit with him, discuss climate change.
22:53But that fellow, the only change he wants to discuss is change of clothes.
23:01Why are you with such a boy?
23:02Kick him away.
23:09Later on, then you say, oh, you know, she is such a headache or he is such a rascal.
23:16Who invited them in?
23:19Where was all your discretion?
23:22Where was all wisdom when you were clamoring for that person?
23:27That's why it is very important that life education is a central part of school and college syllabi.
23:39Because that's the age when you make your most important decisions.
23:43The decision to pursue a line in academics, the decision to take up a career stream and the decision to enter into a relationship.
23:57That's why it is very important that life education is a central part of school and college syllabi.
24:11Have I disappointed you?
24:12This is not the answer you wanted.
24:16No sir, got it.