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FunTranscript
00:00Aren't you slicing that man's brain a little too thin?
00:10It's too thin if I were making a foot-long brain sandwich at Quiznos.
00:14For examination under a two-photon microscope, it's fine.
00:21Well, you're the expert.
00:24If the correct way to do it is the wrong way, then I yield.
00:28Very well. If you die and donate your body to science, I promise to slice your brain like Canadian bacon.
00:37Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take my temperature.
00:40Are you monitoring your circadian rhythms in order to identify your periods of maximum mental acuity?
00:46I did that one summer.
00:47Oh, youth.
00:50No, I experienced some distressing symptoms last night, so I'm checking my vital signs every hour.
00:56I'd be happy to create a chart and participate in a differential diagnosis.
01:00Oh, that sounds like fun.
01:04All right.
01:07What were the symptoms?
01:08Elevated heart rate, moist palms, dry mouth, and localized vascular throbbing.
01:16Localized to what region?
01:21Ears and genitalia.
01:24Interesting. Not body parts that usually team up.
01:31What about environmental factors? Describe the scene for me.
01:35I was sitting in a restaurant with Penny and Bernadette drinking water, carbonated as it was a special occasion.
01:41Penny's friend Zach stopped by and said hello, and I said, who?
01:46Who?
01:47Zach.
01:49Then why did you ask?
01:51Ask what?
01:52Who?
01:53Zach.
01:56All right, let's start over.
01:58What did you say when Zach walked in?
02:00Who?
02:01Zach.
02:03Why do you keep saying Zach?
02:04Because you keep saying who.
02:06I'm not saying who now. I said who last night.
02:09And the answer was Zach, correct?
02:12There was no question. I simply said who.
02:17All right, I think I have enough to go on.
02:21Possible explanations for your symptoms are, in descending order of likelihood,
02:25hyperthyroidism, premature menopause, hosting an alien parasite,
02:31or, and I only include it for the sake of covering absolutely all bases, sexual arousal.
02:40Where would I have picked up an alien parasite?
02:51I don't know.