Malcolm In The Middle Season 2 Episode 24 Evacuation
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00:00Got the bricks.
00:21Hang on!
00:22Do it!
00:23Three more seconds with a brick hurt!
00:25Yeah!
00:26Yes, no, maybe.
00:30I don't know.
00:33Can you repeat the question?
00:37You're not the boss of me now.
00:40You're not the boss of me now.
00:42You're not the boss of me now.
00:45And you're not so big.
00:48You're not the boss of me now.
00:51You're not the boss of me now.
00:54You're not the boss of me now.
00:56And you're not so big.
01:00Life is unfair.
01:08There we go!
01:10Oh, Hal, it's beautiful!
01:12You boys are not to sit on it, stand on it, jump on it, or go anywhere near it for the next year.
01:18Where's this coming from?
01:20Hey, Dewey.
01:21Want to go with me and take the old couch to the dump?
01:24No, I watch cartoons.
01:26What, are you kidding?
01:28We're talking about the city dump.
01:30Mountains of smoldering garbage as far as you can see.
01:35Swarms of flies that block out the sun.
01:39Really?
01:41Last time I was there, I saw a 40-pound seagull carry off a dog in its beak.
01:47Wow!
01:49Wow!
01:51Come on!
01:53Hey guys, sorry I'm late.
01:57Stevie and I finished our geometry unit.
02:00We're two weeks ahead.
02:02Congratulations, you're grounded.
02:04What?
02:06You're an hour and a half late.
02:07You promised you'd be back at three to help with the couch.
02:10Your father and Reese nearly killed themselves.
02:12Yeah, but I...
02:13No buts!
02:14You're grounded.
02:15Two weeks in your room.
02:16No TV, no friends, no phone.
02:18But I was doing homework.
02:20I thought it'd be okay.
02:21You're not allowed to decide what's okay.
02:24Not yet.
02:25You looked me in the eye and you promised.
02:27You're grounded.
02:29This is totally unfair!
02:34Okay, when do I sit and tar?
02:37When we get to the garbage dump, this is what we'll see.
02:42Five broken toilets.
02:45Four fuzzy cheese wheels.
02:47Three tons of maggots.
02:49Two gigantic rats.
02:50And a stench that will buckle your knees.
02:54Yahoo!
02:58Uh, excuse me.
03:00Can you tell us where we should dump this couch?
03:13Oh, for the love of...
03:17We didn't even get the sea of the land.
03:22Well, son?
03:23I guess our work here is done.
03:31You are so dead.
03:33Frances, you know I couldn't go out with Laura unless I found somebody for her sister.
03:38Now you're here, so just try to enjoy your date.
03:40She's twelve.
03:41Hey, you guys want tattoos?
03:43So she's not the one.
03:46You can still have a good time.
03:48How could you do this to me?
03:50Come on.
03:51You've done way worse to me.
03:53You totally deserve this.
03:55Based on what?
03:56What?
03:57Will you Jethro's just shut up?
04:00Nobody cares how many bales of hay you can lift.
04:06So now we know.
04:07Pigs and swim, cows can't.
04:09This is ridiculous.
04:10When did the word fast just become such a hot button?
04:20I have been nothing but a good friend to you.
04:23Look, Frances, I'm not gonna argue.
04:26You'll do this or I'll punch your face through the back of your head.
04:30See, every time I trump you with logic, you resort to violence.
04:34I just want that on the record.
04:40Mmm, ice cream.
04:42What a wonderful unexpected treat for some of us.
04:45Yes, Reese.
04:47You get to eat ice cream and I don't.
04:49Thank you for subtly illustrating that point.
04:53Look at that.
04:55Mmm, sprinkles.
04:57Aren't those your favorite, Malcolm?
04:59I'm rubbing my butt on your pillowcase.
05:06Oh, boy.
05:07Reese!
05:08What'd you do?
05:09Sir, we have to evacuate the entire neighborhood.
05:11I need you to leave your house immediately.
05:13What?
05:14Evacuating?
05:15Why?
05:16There's been a toxic chemical spill about a mile away.
05:18A train derailed.
05:20How'd that happen?
05:21Some idiot left a couch on the railroad tracks.
05:25I wonder if that...
05:26Careful, son.
05:27Don't want to drip.
05:28Don't want to drip.
05:32I repeat, if you're not in need of immediate first aid, find an available cot, remain calm, and wait for further instruction.
05:43Will you look at this?
05:44I hope they find whoever's responsible and string him up by his thumbs.
05:51Hey, uh, fella.
05:52Don't you think you're overreacting?
05:54I mean, my family is exposed to dangerous chemicals all the time.
05:57In fact, I-I remember I accidentally set off a flea bomb in the boys' room when my son Dewey was in there taking a nap.
06:06I can smell callers.
06:08Sir, I've got two overturned tankers out there spewing out a cloud of sulfuric acid and sodium hydroxide.
06:15That can scar your throat and lungs in a matter of seconds.
06:17But it's not necessarily fatal.
06:20Maybe you'd need an artificial larynx, but you'd still be alive.
06:23That'd be so cool.
06:25My name is Reese.
06:27What are you looking at?
06:28Son, please.
06:30Has anyone died yet?
06:31Not that I'm aware of.
06:33Well, what if the wind shifts?
06:35Is the water supply gonna be contaminated?
06:37What about the food?
06:38What about the medical personnel?
06:39How could we be sure that all these people are gonna be safe?
06:42I'm sorry.
06:43I really don't know all of the answers.
06:45I'm just a high school senior.
07:00Are we gonna order at some point tonight?
07:02Hang on, this is important.
07:03This is the only boo she has been felt up in.
07:06Have another donut, lonely girl.
07:15So you like school?
07:17You're black in my light!
07:31Check it out.
07:32Some idiot like a storage closet unlocked.
07:34I've got every Dixie cup in the place.
07:37What are you doing with those?
07:39Building a future, my friend.
07:42I can't believe this place.
07:43This cut smells like feet.
07:46Alright, we're just gonna have to make the best of things.
07:48Where do you think you're going?
07:50I'm just going to look around.
07:52You are not going anywhere.
07:53You're still grounded.
07:55What? Here?
07:56Here?
07:57That's right.
07:58Look around.
07:59We're living in a gym.
08:00That doesn't change what you did.
08:02Mom, we can all die.
08:04If that happens, you're off the hook.
08:06Until then, I want those buns on that cot.
08:09Now!
08:10Uh, excuse me.
08:11Excuse me.
08:12Excuse me.
08:13Listen, I was just wondering if there was something that I could do to help.
08:22Not that there's any real reason, of course.
08:23I'm just looking to do my part.
08:25I think we got it pretty well covered, sir.
08:26No, there must be something.
08:27I don't care if it's messy or trivial or even life-threatening.
08:28Uh, excuse me. Excuse me. Listen, I was just wondering if there was something that I could do to help.
08:36Not that there's any real reason, of course. I'm just looking to do my part.
08:42I think we got it pretty well covered, sir.
08:43No, there must be something. I don't care if it's messy or trivial or even life-threatening.
08:49Sir, I'd appreciate it if you just returned to your area.
08:52Please, you have to find some way for me to be useful.
08:56No, I have got to ease these people's suffering.
09:00They have got to know that I am here for them.
09:07Is that pepper spray?
09:09I also have a whistle, and I'm prepared to use that as well.
09:19You know, I'd be happy to give you some, but you really should ask your parents first.
09:24I can't. They're dead.
09:26What?
09:28They're killed by the cloud. Can I have some?
09:31Oh, my God, you poor thing.
09:34They were choking. It was awful.
09:37Can I have the one with nuts?
09:39Oh, of course, dear.
09:41Toxic chemical spill has been reported in the area surrounding the road.
09:48Where'd they go?
09:49All right, we'll be back in a few hours.
09:51They took the car?
09:53Hey, you're the one who went to the bathroom. You gave them the opening.
09:57All right, that's it. Come on, get your books. We're getting out of here.
10:00No, I want to eat.
10:02No, we're going.
10:04I'm not leaving till I eat.
10:06Would you keep it down, please?
10:11You were a lot nicer when we were on the Internet.
10:15Look, you can't pull this crap with me.
10:18I have three little brothers. I know every manipulation in the book.
10:22So get your butt in gear.
10:24No, if I go home now, Laurel will get busted.
10:27We're supposed to be at the mall.
10:28Well, what do you care?
10:29Let me tell you something about your sister.
10:31She doesn't like you at all.
10:33She treats you like dirt.
10:40Well, she does.
10:44It's not your fault.
10:46I mean, you don't deserve that.
10:48No one deserves that.
10:50She's the one with the problem.
10:52Really, I'm sure you have a lot of nice qualities that people don't even...
10:57Waitress, can we get some service over here?
11:00Yes.
11:00They're with the burger plate, extra fries, and a chocolate malt.
11:08And then they're trapped in the car, and they told me to get help,
11:12and I ran, and I ran, and I fell down.
11:16And when I woke up, the ambulance man was holding me.
11:20And your parents were...
11:24Oh, you poor little boy.
11:29That looks like fun.
11:31What is wrong with you?
11:33Give that to him!
11:36What can I say?
11:37We're all trying to get through as best we can.
11:42And, of course, in these disasters,
11:45it's always the children who suffer the most.
11:48No, no, no.
11:50You're not talking to him.
11:51He's grounded.
12:01Looks like you need a cup, friend.
12:04Oh, that'd be great.
12:06Thanks.
12:07I wish you were that simple.
12:09What are you talking about?
12:10I'm thirsty.
12:11Is that your truck out there with the canned fruit?
12:15Yeah.
12:16Why?
12:16Let's take a walk.
12:22There.
12:23That should take care of that wobble, huh?
12:26Listen, is it too drafty here?
12:27Should we move you away from the window?
12:29No.
12:30No, we're fine.
12:31Thanks for the help.
12:32Well, that's what this is all about.
12:35Helping each other out.
12:36This is the kind of thing that we should be focusing on.
12:40Not a witch hunt.
12:42Pointing fingers.
12:43Blame.
12:44Blame.
12:46We are bigger than that, aren't we, honey?
12:50Who wants a bedtime story?
12:52Can you make him go away, Daddy?
12:54She is precious.
12:56She is precious.
13:03Excuse me.
13:04Did you find the boy whose parents were killed?
13:06Not yet.
13:08Excuse me.
13:09Did you say killed?
13:11Yes.
13:11They were killed by the gas cloud.
13:13Oh, my God.
13:15The boy's mother saved him with her very last breath.
13:19And then the poor boy had to strangle his own dog just to stop it suffering.
13:24And on his birthday.
13:36Yes.
13:37I want a piece of apple pie, a la mode, some chocolate cake, and a banana split.
13:43Sure thing.
13:45Why don't you save me some money and just yell at your sister instead of burying your anger in a mountain of french fries?
13:50Are you calling me fat?
13:52What?
13:53No, I'm not calling you fat.
13:55So now I'm a liar.
13:56No.
13:58You're twisting around everything I say.
14:00Why do you do that?
14:01You hurt my feelings!
14:03Okay, would you just keep it down, please?
14:06I'm sorry.
14:08Why do you touch your hair so much?
14:10I don't touch my hair that much.
14:12Why is everyone so fixated on my hair?
14:15I'm sick of it.
14:16Okay, okay, relax.
14:18I just don't want to talk about it.
14:23It's just people make fun of me.
14:29Guys at school call me poodle head.
14:31That is so cruel.
14:36I mean, I can see it, but still.
14:38I gotta tell you, Malcolm, sometimes I'm so good it's scary.
14:46What are you doing with toilet paper?
14:48I got my hands in some canned fruit.
14:50I traded those for batteries.
14:52The batteries for DVDs.
14:53And I swapped those with the janitor for the school's entire supply of toilet paper.
14:58Once a specially seasoned meatloaf works its magic, I can name my price.
15:05You know, that's not only unbelievably evil, but you actually put some thought and effort into it.
15:12I'm impressed.
15:13I don't know what it is.
15:14I guess when people are miserable and suffering, it brings out the best in me.
15:18Thanks for noticing.
15:20Hi, guys.
15:21Hey, Dabney, did you bring your Palm Pilot?
15:23Yeah.
15:24Good to know.
15:24Hey, Malcolm, isn't this great?
15:29I wouldn't know.
15:30Come on.
15:31We get to hang out in the gym without worrying about dodgeballs or getting pants.
15:36It's a dream come true.
15:38We actually get to live in the school.
15:42Check this out.
15:45This is the key to the girls' locker room.
15:48We were actually standing where girls take showers.
15:52Malcolm, or so I'm told.
15:56Malcolm, no visitors.
15:59Malcolm's grounded.
16:00You shouldn't be talking to him.
16:01Everyone, this is my son.
16:04He's being punished.
16:06No one should talk to him.
16:08Mom, for God's sake, you just came over to say hi.
16:12I took the key to the girls' locker room.
16:15Please don't tell our mothers.
16:16I'm so ashamed.
16:17What?
16:31You did that just to humiliate me.
16:33Is that what you think?
16:34Yes.
16:35It was completely unjustified.
16:37And I want you to know I am never going to forget this.
16:41Well, good.
16:42It'll be the first time in ten years the punishment's actually stuck.
16:46People, please, the money we raise cannot bring back his parents, but we must do something.
17:02We're his only family now.
17:05Hasn't that poor little boy suffered enough from the train wreck?
17:08Which, by the way, is a surprisingly common occurrence when looked at in a nationwide context.
17:15Please, we've got to give till it hurts.
17:21I'm just saying it might be hard to get my hands on five blankets.
17:25Look, I need them.
17:26My family's freezing.
17:28A lot of people are cold.
17:29It's a real problem.
17:31How about the watch?
17:32The guy before me only had to give you his socks.
17:35It's a cold world.
17:37It's getting colder by the minute.
17:40You're an evil little punk.
17:44Uh-uh.
17:46Sucks, too.
17:50And then Dave told me they were just studying, but they were totally having a pizza party.
17:54You're kidding.
17:55They came to my room and asked me for napkins.
17:59It's not like I could tell them how hurt I was, because you constantly got to keep up this front of being the tough guy.
18:03They have no idea who I really am.
18:06They know I kept a dream journal.
18:08You do?
18:09I think that's so cool.
18:11Really?
18:15I do, too.
18:17I'll tell you one thing.
18:18If those guys ever got a hold of that, I'd never hear the end of it.
18:21So?
18:22You don't have to care what they think.
18:23I don't.
18:25What about your sister?
18:27She's an idiot.
18:30Hey, good for you.
18:31Anyway, people around here are freaks.
18:34Some nights, I lock myself in my room and spin my globe, and wherever I point my finger, I just pretend that's where I really live.
18:41I do that, too!
18:43Really?
18:44And you'll feel the cold worse than anyone.
18:46Because let's face it, your circulation is not good to begin with.
18:50I already gave you money.
18:57And you're satisfied, I see.
19:01That little boy doesn't need clothes or an education.
19:05Let's just put him to work in the mines like they did when you were a girl.
19:08I'm on a fixed income.
19:10So what are you trying to do?
19:12Take it to the grave with you?
19:13Should we get you a casket with saddlebags?
19:19Give me my shoe.
19:21It's right here.
19:22Come and get it.
19:24What's the matter?
19:25Was somebody a bad boy?
19:26Does the bad boy want his shoe back?
19:33Malcolm, get back on the cot.
19:36This kid's got my shoe.
19:38Get back on the cot.
19:39I'll take care of this.
19:41Is mommy gonna take care of it for you?
19:48Malcolm, get back on that cot.
19:54No.
19:56Excuse me?
19:58I've had it.
20:00I quit.
20:00What do you mean you quit?
20:02I quit this stupid system.
20:05The only reason I'm being punished like this is because I agreed to be punished like this.
20:10And I'm not gonna agree anymore.
20:12This isn't parenting.
20:14This is just sadism.
20:15Oh, you think I enjoy this?
20:17Yes, I do.
20:18And I am way too old for this.
20:20We are gonna find some other way of dealing with each other.
20:23We are gonna change the rules.
20:26What are you planning to do?
20:28Take away my TV when I'm married?
20:30Give me a time out when I'm 30?
20:35What?
20:36Am I supposed to be scared?
20:39What are you gonna do?
20:41Spank me?
20:41Okay.
20:42Mom, what are you doing?
20:50Mom, cut it out.
20:52I don't know what you think you're doing.
20:54How did she get so strong?
20:56When I can't do this, we'll change the rules.
21:13$563?
21:22Come on, people!
21:24What if he needs braces?
21:27What if he has scoliosis?
21:29Huh?
21:30Okay, fine.
21:35I'll just say, sorry, little crooked boy.
21:38You can always get a job in the circus
21:41while the rest of us drive our Porsches
21:44and eat our T-bone steaks.
21:47Dad, can we go home now?
21:49My stomach hurts.
21:51Not now, son.
21:52That your kid?
21:54Yes.
21:54Yes, why?
21:55This guy has been collecting money for his own kid!
22:01Dewey, did you tell these people...
22:02What the hell are you trying to pull here, mister?
22:05He's been yanking our train!
22:08No, no, no, no, no!
22:09Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no.
22:10I swear to you, I didn't know anything about this.
22:13And if he lied to you,
22:15well, I can assure you
22:16that is not the kind of behavior I allow in my family.
22:19Ow, ow, ow.
22:20Is this your son, Reese?
22:22He's running a black market.
22:23He had two diabetics
22:25bidding against each other for insulin.
22:28That is a lie!
22:31Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
22:34Now, now, now, wait just a second.
22:36I know how this must look,
22:37but if you just give me the chance
22:39to get to the bottom of this,
22:40I swear to you, I will make this right!
22:43Come on, here.
22:44You boys have both behaved very badly!
22:48So, you are both going to apologize
22:50to these nice, generous people
22:52like you have never apologized before.
22:54Do you hear me?
23:00Come on, go ahead.
23:03Nice and loud!
23:04We're sorry we left the couch
23:06on the tracks and wrecked the train.
23:12I don't see any reason for that.
23:13Nice and loud!
23:14Nice and loud!
23:14Nice and loud!
23:15Nice and loud!
23:16Nice and loud!
23:17Nice and loud!
23:18Nice and loud!
23:19Nice and loud!
23:20Nice and loud!
23:21Nice and loud!
23:22Nice and loud!
23:23Nice and loud!
23:24Nice and loud!
23:25Nice and loud!
23:26Nice and loud!
23:27Nice and loud!
23:28Nice and loud!
23:29Nice and loud!
23:30Well, this is it.
23:33Maybe I'll call you sometime.
23:34Whatever.
23:35Hey, I actually had a good time.
23:37Me too.
23:38You're like a really good girlfriend.
23:40Thanks.
23:41Hey, sorry about tonight.
23:42Yeah, well, you're planning to pawn me off when a 12-year-old backfired because I actually
23:49had a really good time.
23:50Well, good for you, poodlehead.
23:51You know what?
23:52I don't care about your childish taunts anymore.
23:53You can call me anything you like.
23:54I think I'll stick with poodlehead.
23:55Fine.
23:56I'm glad it doesn't bother you when I call you poodlehead, poodlehead.
23:57I'm glad it doesn't bother you when I call you poodlehead, poodlehead.
24:01I gotta tell you.
24:02Shut up!
24:03Do not set foot out the window.
24:04You have a silly car.
24:05You could follow me off when a 12-year old backfired because I actually had a really
24:08good time.
24:09Well, good for you, poodlehead.
24:10You know what?
24:11I don't care about your childish taunts anymore.
24:12You can call me anything you like.
24:14I think I'll stick with poodlehead.
24:15Fine.
24:17I'm glad it doesn't bother you when I call you poodlehead, poodlehead.
24:21I gotta tell you.
24:26Shut up!
24:27Do not set foot out the window.
24:30set foot outside this area not one foot i would just like to get one thing clear when we go home
24:38you fellas are still gonna be a presence in the community right if i wasn't in uniform i'd take
24:46a swing at you myself fair enough are you telling me that i can't discipline my own child lady
24:54we got a lot of angry people in there i think it's best you stay out here with the other
24:59troublemakers they'd like us to stay inside the box
25:16this is outrageous
25:20we're gonna freeze to death out here what did we do maybe malcolm can bring us a couple blankets come on
25:25i'm sorry i'm not supposed to leave my cot
25:40don't think you won't suffer the consequences
25:42later mister
26:01so