Malcolm In The Middle Season 2 Episode 12 Krelboyne Girl
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00:00He says he is a son-in-law!
00:03There is a baby Grace of God
00:04Listen, don't let me know
00:06He said he is a son-in-law
00:08Hey dear
00:10A little He said he is a son-in-law
00:11A little girl just left
00:12Something that is already in his head
00:14The 문제 is not supposed to be
00:15But he feels like there is a brain
00:16The problem is not supposed to be
00:17The problem lies about how he can
00:18The problem lies about a person
00:19The problem lies about a person
00:20Is not supposed to be a person
00:21Or is not supposed to be a person
00:23I think they're as a person
00:24What is he going to do?
00:26Because he wants to get
00:27Why I can't believe that
00:28You can't believe that
00:29Give me that!
00:40He never gets old.
00:59You're not the boss of me now.
01:02And you're not so big.
01:06Life is unfair.
01:29Mom, what are you doing?
01:35For crying out loud, Malcolm, why am I paying for underpants that you're not wearing?
01:40Mom.
01:41Why are you not wearing your underpants?
01:45I want to wear boxers.
01:47Oh, really?
01:48Well, you may think you suddenly need all the extra room, but let me tell you, my dear,
01:53you were getting way ahead of yourself.
01:59Just once, I'd like a childhood memory I don't have to repress.
02:13You think maybe Dewey's getting a little old for stuffed animals?
02:21Maybe we should start thinking about weaning him off Domingo.
02:25I guess that part of his childhood is over.
02:29It's so sad.
02:31Our little baby is growing up.
02:35Give me that.
02:40Hey, check out the new kid.
02:45Fresh.
02:47Meat.
02:49You no longer have to live in fear.
02:51What are you talking about?
02:53The hazing we put you through is over.
02:57What hazing?
02:58Oh, come on.
03:00When we gave you the warped lunch trip.
03:04When we doled the points on your pencils.
03:07When you sneezed and no one said bless you.
03:11I still feel bad about that.
03:14Now she's taking your place as the whipping boy.
03:17You know, you guys get dumped on and tortured by the entire school.
03:21Why would you want to do it to someone else?
03:24Hmm?
03:26You guys don't even know this girl.
03:27Maybe she's nice.
03:32Hi.
03:33I'm Malcolm.
03:35Cynthia.
03:35So, you're new here.
03:38Yeah.
03:40My dad wanted to get away from Manhattan.
03:43But I think the real reason is that my mom's remarriage hit him pretty hard.
03:47And he thinks that a new environment would help.
03:50The truth is nothing's been the same since my brother died in the boating accident.
03:56Just kidding.
03:59What?
04:00Anyway, I'll see you later.
04:11I'm glad your brother's okay.
04:13I don't have a brother.
04:30Cadets, apparently one of you felt the compelling need to take my 37-stuffed bearcat for a joyride in a cornfield.
04:54You may be sure the responsible party will be disciplined.
05:01Now, I know in the past I have resorted to grueling midnight hikes through leech-infested swamps.
05:10Or the repetitive digging and filling of ditches, etc., etc.
05:15But things have changed.
05:20Due to a recent court decision involving corporal punishment,
05:25a loophole has allowed me to un-retire old hickory.
05:33He hungers for the sting of insolent flesh.
05:52Hi, Dad.
06:00Oh, hey, son.
06:01What's up?
06:02I need a little favor.
06:04Well, I'll try.
06:06What do you need?
06:07An alibi.
06:08If anyone asks, you just have to say we were on a father-son fishing trip yesterday.
06:12What did you do?
06:13Really, Dad?
06:14Did the specifics matter?
06:16I mean, you have to do this for me.
06:18I am not going to lie for you.
06:20Okay.
06:21I'm calling in my chit.
06:23What chit?
06:24You know, the one-time thing.
06:25I just call it in and you do it.
06:27No questions asked.
06:29That doesn't exist, Francis.
06:31Dad!
06:32No, I'm sorry, son.
06:33I can't help you.
06:34You're going to have to face the consequences of your actions like a grown-up.
06:38All I have to say is I am very disappointed in you.
06:43Is that Francis?
06:44How's he doing?
06:45Good.
06:46He, uh, just got a B on his history final.
06:50Good for him.
06:52You know, this is the longest he's ever gone without getting into any kind of trouble.
06:55Maybe things are finally starting to turn around.
06:57So, why are you here so late?
07:14I had to use a school computer.
07:17Why are you here so late?
07:19I really like what you said in class about the search for intelligent life in the universe.
07:24And you waited out here to tell me that?
07:26You know, I was thinking, why are we even bothering to send signals into deep space?
07:31If we do make contact with extraterrestrials, we'll probably just wind up doing their laundry.
07:38Just kidding.
07:39So, what's it like having a brother?
07:43I don't know.
07:45Well, I've got to go home now.
07:46Bye.
07:47Bye.
07:47Bye.
07:47Bye.
07:47Bye.
07:47Bye.
07:47Bye.
07:47Bye.
07:48Bye.
07:48Bye.
07:48Bye.
07:48Bye.
07:48Bye.
07:49Bye.
07:49Bye.
07:50Bye.
07:50Bye.
07:50Bye.
07:50Bye.
07:50Bye.
07:50Bye.
07:50Bye.
07:50Bye.
07:50Bye.
07:50Bye.
07:56Bye.
08:08Bye.
08:08Bye.
08:09What's going on?
08:09Some weird new girl from school actually followed me home.
08:13Really?
08:13Is she cute?
08:14Hey, is this what that whole boxer shorts thing is all about?
08:17Mom, please don't.
08:20Hi.
08:28Thank you again for inviting me.
08:30Oh, you're welcome. If my son weren't such an unforgivably rude little pig, he would have invited you himself.
08:35You be nicer to her. She obviously has no friends at all.
08:39Malcolm, would you ask your girlfriend to pass the potatoes?
08:43So, Cynthia, you're in Malcolm's class.
08:47Yeah.
08:49Malcolm, would you ask your girlfriend if she would like some peas?
08:53We get it.
08:55Thank you, Mr. Chicken, for giving up your life so that I can continue to live.
09:00Thank you, Mr. Chicken, for giving up your life so that I can continue to live.
09:05Thank you, Mr. Chicken, for giving up your life so that I can continue to live.
09:11What are you doing?
09:14I know. If someone killed me, it ain't me. I'd like them to at least say thank you.
09:22Hello.
09:23This is Commandant Spangler from the Marlin Academy.
09:26Oh, yes.
09:28Sorry to disturb you. I'm just calling because we had an incident up here last weekend, and I've done a thorough investigation.
09:34And it appears your son, Francis, is a prime suspect.
09:39Well, that's impossible because he was with me last weekend.
09:42He was?
09:45Yes. Yes, we went fishing.
09:48You're sure?
09:50Smallmouth bass, boy. Those babies will fight you.
09:53Yeah, I got the fish to prove it. You know I should send you some?
09:56No, that's quite all right.
09:58No, I insist. Yeah, I got a freezer full of them.
10:01Okay, where's Domingo?
10:12Come on, I can smell him.
10:15Honey, do you think I just took Domingo away from you because I'm mean?
10:21Absolutely.
10:23Do we?
10:24The reason I had to take your teddy bear away is because he's very dirty.
10:28He's covered with germs, and he could make you very sick.
10:31He wouldn't do that. He loves me.
10:34It's the germs, sweetie.
10:37They're tiny bugs carrying disease, and Domingo is covered with them.
10:42Now, when you touch him, they get on your hands.
10:45And what do you suppose happens if you touch your eyes?
10:47Well, I'll tell you what happens.
10:49The germs get in there, and they infect them.
10:52And you get very sick, and eventually your optic nerve rots away, and your eyes fall out.
10:58Now, if you want to keep Domingo, you can.
11:03But if you want to keep your eyes, you'll give Domingo to me.
11:07You made the smart choice, sweetie.
11:14Sleep tight.
11:22Hey, Malcolm.
11:23I wanted to sit alone.
11:26Yeah, hi.
11:27So, I assigned this with his lab partners.
11:30You know, Cynthia, you're spending all your time with me.
11:34Maybe it'd be a good thing if you branched out a little bit.
11:38It just seemed like a good idea.
11:40We get along so well, I just thought we've got a good thing going.
11:45Thing?
11:46Ooh, Malcolm.
11:48Have you lunch with your girlfriend?
11:50She's not my girlfriend.
11:51Oh, I don't know.
11:53I think I see a spark.
11:55Boop.
11:56Please don't touch me.
11:57Yeah, that'll work.
11:59Aw, she doesn't like to be touched.
12:02Well, then maybe I'll do this.
12:05Ow!
12:07Now, say your body is composed entirely of snot.
12:12My body is composed entirely of snot.
12:15Anything you want to add?
12:17I'm good.
12:22What was that?
12:23It's Krav Maga, the official self-defense system of the Israeli army.
12:28Maybe I'll show you sometime.
12:30You think you can handle it?
12:32What's with all the fish?
12:33Oh, nothing.
12:34I just did something incredibly stupid and short-sighted.
12:35You're gonna put those in the freezer?
12:36Just for tonight.
12:37Tomorrow they go in the mail.
12:38I don't know.
12:40Tomorrow they go in the mail.
12:46All room
12:50VM persons
12:51Okay, man.
12:53Do your right.
12:54I'll show you the best house frame.
12:56What's with all the fish?
12:57Oh, nothing.
12:58I just did something incredibly stupido and short-sighted.
13:00You're gonna put those in the freezer?
13:02Just for tonight.
13:03Tomorrow they go in the mail.
13:04Di Roy, what are you doing?
13:07I'm killing the germs.
13:09I hate germs.
13:11Germs are scary.
13:14Don't forget the germs in the oven.
13:19Hello?
13:20You are the best dad ever.
13:22I am not.
13:24I'm a terrible dad.
13:25I never should have lied for you.
13:27Well, the important thing is that this is all behind us,
13:30and I've learned my lesson.
13:31What lesson is that?
13:34That you are the best dad ever.
13:37You know, Francis, I don't feel much like talking right now.
13:46Yes, Commandant Spangler, this is Francis' father.
13:51I'm afraid I lied to you.
13:56Francis is the cadet responsible for damaging your car.
14:01I see.
14:03Well, that puts me in somewhat of an awkward position.
14:11You see, the culprit is being disciplined as we speak.
14:16But Francis did it.
14:17You're punishing the wrong cadet.
14:19I beg your pardon.
14:21In my 30 years at this academy, I have never caned the wrong cadet.
14:27Sir, did you say cane?
14:32No.
14:34Sir, consider the matter closed.
14:37Sir, you...
14:39Take five, fellas.
14:45Yeah, we're having lunch together.
14:53So much.
14:54She likes to sit next to me.
14:57Looks like Lloyd and Dabney are having a pretty intense conversation.
15:04Did you know I could read lips?
15:05I've noticed that 80% of my Doritos are isosceles triangles.
15:13Wow, I'm impressed.
15:14Want a kiss?
15:16I was hoping you'd ask.
15:18Let me finish my sandwich first.
15:21Waiting is such sweet agony.
15:24Okay, I'm ready.
15:27Oh, now I'm not.
15:28I just took a bite of my sandwich.
15:31Oh, you're such a tease.
15:33Ha, ha, ha.
15:49Now, if I apply pressure like this for 10 seconds, you'll pass out.
15:54If I do it for 20 seconds, you'll die of a brain hemorrhage.
15:58Cool.
16:00Okay.
16:03Are you wearing perfume?
16:06Oh, it's my shampoo.
16:08Jasmine.
16:09Like it?
16:10Oh, yeah.
16:11It smells good.
16:12It's supposed to get rid of my dandruff, but I'm not sure it's working.
16:16Here.
16:17What do you think?
16:22Mouth-up?
16:22Looks like you can see it has some real chemistry.
16:39Would you shut up?
16:41No.
16:41See, it's a play on work.
16:44I said shut up.
16:46I'll email it to you.
16:48And some others if you don't mind.
16:51So, have you figured out how many words your phone number makes?
16:55Mine makes five.
16:56Three in English and two in Esperanto.
16:59Just kidding.
17:00You know, if it's a joke, you don't have to say just kidding.
17:04It's either funny or it isn't.
17:09You know, just because you're cute doesn't mean you can be rude.
17:12That wasn't rude.
17:18That was...
17:19What's your...
17:21Did she say I was cute?
17:24Hey, Malcolm.
17:25What's going on?
17:26I just wanted to talk to you about something that's bothering me.
17:29What's it about?
17:30There's this girl and...
17:31Keep mom out of it!
17:33What?
17:34I'm warning you, keep mom out of your love life!
17:37Mom has nothing to do with this.
17:39Trust me, yes she does.
17:41She will ruin it, I swear.
17:42Whatever mom tells you, don't do it.
17:45And don't do the opposite either.
17:46The way it's worked for me is...
17:49Actually, it's never worked for me.
17:54I just don't know if it's a good idea.
17:56I've thought about this a long time.
18:00Okay, it's your call.
18:06When are you going to talk to Dewey?
18:08As soon as he finishes the windows.
18:12Hey!
18:22I want a rematch.
18:23Last time someone was in my eyes and I wasn't really...
18:26Hey, Malcolm.
18:30What are you doing after school?
18:33We're getting a dog and I thought you might want to help us pick one out.
18:37My mom wants a golden retriever, but I lean more toward a flat-coated retriever.
18:42Because everyone has goldens.
18:44I don't want to be lab partners with you anymore.
18:48What?
18:49I mean, it wasn't my idea.
18:52The teachers thought I should partner up with someone else.
18:56Okay.
18:56Hello, son.
19:15Dad, what are you doing here?
19:17I need to talk to you.
19:18You drove eight hours just to talk to me?
19:21Well, I thought it best that I do this face-to-face, man-to-man.
19:26What is it?
19:27Francis, you wrecked Commandant Spangler's card.
19:30You weren't punished for it.
19:33Another cadet was, and that just isn't right.
19:37That's what you came all the way down here to tell me?
19:44Well, that.
19:46And your mother said you can come home from military school.
19:49And I told her I didn't think it was a good idea.
19:52What?
19:53Francis, neither one of us did the right thing, and there has to be consequences for that.
19:57Oh, come on!
19:58Look, if I didn't do this, I'd be failing you as a parent.
20:02There's got to be another way.
20:04No, no, believe me.
20:05I wrestled with this on the drive-over.
20:07This is the only fair thing to do, because it deals with my complicity as well.
20:11Come on, Johnny.
20:14Guess there really isn't anything more to say.
20:21Well, looks like you have some kind of activity planned, so I'll get out of your hair.
20:34I love you, son.
20:35Have fun.
20:55Dewey, we have got to talk.
20:56Honey, when I talked to you about germs, I was just trying to scare you.
21:02That was wrong.
21:04This isn't about germs.
21:06Sweetie, it's about growing up.
21:08The reason I had to take Domingo away from you is because you are too grown up for a ratty old stuffed animal that's fallen apart.
21:14Dewey, you have got to stop this.
21:19It's a little bug.
21:20It never hurt anyone.
21:22And there's germs on it.
21:24Okay, this is enough.
21:25See?
21:38Nothing happened to me.
21:41Okay?
21:45Okay.
21:45Okay.
21:46Okay.
21:47So, take off the plastic and go eat your breakfast.
21:51Look at her, talking to some idiot.
22:04Who is that guy?
22:07What am I saying?
22:08I don't care.
22:09Why should I care?
22:10There's nothing that special about her.
22:11Why is this bugging me so much?
22:18If I'm such a genius, I should be able to come up with a smart way to deal with this.
22:23Why did you throw a brick through my daughter's window at two o'clock in the morning?
22:28I don't know.
22:29I really don't.
22:32How could you do that?
22:34It really scared me, Malcolm.
22:36I don't know.
22:37I'm sorry.
22:38The one good thing is Mom will kill me before this goes on for too much longer.
22:41I didn't move to the suburbs so my daughter could be attacked in the dead of night.
22:46Oh, for God's sake.
22:47He wasn't attacking her.
22:49He's got a crush on her.
22:51I beg pardon?
22:52Mom, don't.
22:53Don't worry.
22:54Malcolm's going to be punished, but this is nothing to get panicked about.
22:57But don't you remember when you were his age?
23:00All the dumb things you did with your little girlfriends?
23:03Um, I'm not his...
23:04It's puberty.
23:06Their bodies are going all crazy down there, and they can't do anything about it.
23:09So they start all that silly making out, and then they get all tingly and charged up,
23:14and they don't know what to do with themselves, so they throw bricks and things.
23:18My oldest son set a doghouse on fire.
23:21They are idiots at this age.
23:23That's just what they do.
23:24Yes, well, that may be.
23:27But this kind of behavior is not acceptable.
23:31No, it isn't.
23:33But you better get used to it, because I'm going to tell you right now.
23:36This one is an early bloomer.
23:38She's going to pop out of every bra you buy for the next three years.
23:42You're going to be self-conscious, but don't let it make you slouch.
23:46You're going to be happy better when you get to college.
23:48Come on.
23:49I'll give you the number of a glass company.
23:51We give them a lot of business.
23:53They'll treat you right.
23:53Well, at least she didn't strip us and take pictures.
24:11Night is young.
24:20Okay.
24:21You know what?
24:23Big deal.
24:25I do like you.
24:28I'm willing to say it.
24:30I really like you a lot.
24:33I like you a lot.
24:35Okay, then.
24:42What?
24:43I'm not all tingly and charged up, okay?
24:46No, me neither.
24:50And my body's not going crazy.
24:54Fine.
24:58God, watch at the sale of that stuff.
25:00Malcolm, what are you doing?
25:02Look, Cynthia, believe me.
25:04I'm trying to kiss you.
25:06And I think if you just give me a minute to clear my head, I'll be able to kiss you, okay?
25:10Excuse me?
25:11Francis said she'd do this.
25:13And who exactly is Francis?
25:14It's not what you think.
25:15He's my brother.
25:16You're going to kiss me and you're thinking about your brother.
25:19No.
25:20I was thinking about my mom.
25:23No.
25:24I mean, I was thinking about your bra.
25:26Huh.
25:26I mean, I was thinking about what's in your bra.
25:29I mean, what will be in your bra.
25:32Can I start over?
25:37I wonder if I can convince anyone this is a hickey.
25:52Oh, my God.
26:00I mean, I много years old.
26:03I know.
26:03I'm sorry.
26:06You're like, what?
26:06Yeah, I just wonder.
26:08You're like, oh, you're okay.
26:10I don't know.
26:11I love you.
26:12I love you.
26:13I love you.
26:13I like your dog.
26:14You're like, oh you know.
26:15I love you.
26:16I love you.
26:16I love you.
26:17It's funny.
26:18I like my sytu さ.