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00:01Good evening, everybody,
00:03and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:05on tonight's show,
00:06who's somewhere over the rainbow?
00:08Brad Sherwood.
00:09He's following the yellow brick road.
00:11Wayne Brady.
00:12If he only had a brain.
00:13Colin Blackree.
00:14And he killed her.
00:16Ryan Stiles.
00:18I'm your host, Sha'Carri.
00:19Come on down, let's have some fun.
00:27Thank you very much.
00:32Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?
00:34the show where everything's made up
00:35and the points don't matter.
00:36That's right, the points are like a fully loaded,
00:38top of the line, you go.
00:44Who cares?
00:45If you never saw the show,
00:46what happens is these guys are gonna make up
00:47everything you see right off the top of their heads
00:49based on suggestions around these cards here.
00:51They've never seen the cards before
00:52and suggestions we get from the audience.
00:54When they make these things up,
00:55then we give them these fake out points.
00:56And at the end of the show,
00:57we pick a fake out winner.
00:58The winner gets to sit here and relax at my desk
01:00and the loser has to drink Canada Dry.
01:03Oh, I'm sorry.
01:05Colin already did that.
01:14We're gonna start out with a game called Hollywood Director.
01:17Brad, Ryan and Wayne are gonna act out a film scene.
01:20Colin's gonna be the director
01:21who keeps giving the actors different notes
01:23on how to improve the scene.
01:24He hasn't seen these notes before,
01:25I'm gonna give them to him right now.
01:27And the scene you're gonna act out is,
01:29Ryan and Wayne are two motorists
01:31who run into each other while parking.
01:33Brad's a police officer who arrives at the scene.
01:35And Colin, you're the director who gives them their notes
01:37on how to make the scene better.
01:38Take it away.
01:39I'm sorry I didn't even see you there.
01:52What the hell?
01:54Well, you should really have some sort of fluorescent paint
01:56on that thing or something.
01:57It's so small.
01:58So it's my fault?
01:59I'm on my bike!
02:00You hit me!
02:02I didn't do that to your voice, did I?
02:03Ow!
02:04Yes!
02:06Now you did it.
02:08What seems to be the problem here?
02:09Hold on.
02:10Boom, boom, boom, boom.
02:19He pulled out right in front of me.
02:22He pulled out right in front of me.
02:27All I was doing, I was pulling out of my bike
02:30and the big palooka hits me!
02:31Why, I couldn't even see him.
02:33Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!
02:34I think it was Tennessee Williams who said y'all are crap you you need a
02:42stepladder to get to their level of crap
02:45come on let's concentrate we're trying to put a film on that we're going to be proud of proud
02:50t-r-o-d proud I'm sorry shut up listen what we need is something exciting this
02:59scene has no flow it has no excitement we need excitement so what I want is for you
03:06to do your own stunts in slow motion that means in slow motion go
03:29I'm sorry I didn't even see you there
03:49I was pulling out how could you not see me how could you not see me
03:54snap
04:13we've had a bit of an accident here what seems to be the trouble here this guy pulled out right
04:19oh crap crap all right look you're missing the entire point of the scene I thought so too what
04:37we need is something to appeal to the college kids so do it like frat boys naked
04:44that was awesome dude
05:08I'm 45 years old I know forget the ping
05:15oh
05:17I'm 45 years old I know forget the ping
05:23oh
05:37I don't need to take this crap I want a people's choice award look
05:42I have one I know everybody has one who doesn't have one
05:46what I want is raw emotion I want passion passion do everything passionately passionately passionately
06:01go
06:04squeak yes click clean
06:08clean clean
06:08click
06:10boom
06:12boom
06:14boom
06:16boom
06:18boom
06:19boom
06:20aah
06:22I love that little bouncing around on the stage thing you did there
06:42it reminded me the day you got the show really
06:49next game is called duet this is for uh brad and wayne with laura hall and linda taylor
07:01and uh what's your name for you kim kim what do you get for living kim what do you get for living
07:06i have a giant sea otter where do you do that long beach aquarium long beach aquarium come down here
07:14this is kim the giant sea otter now you know that your job is ruined now because whenever they see
07:32the giant sea otter they'll know it's kim kids are going to be making funny and stuff but so uh brad and
07:38wayne are going to do a song to you uh using your name and occupation and the song i want you to do
07:43to her is a vaudeville song to kim the giant sea otter take it away yes
07:58now your dad's proud of his daughter grew up to be a big sea otter oh my goodness what could he do
08:03well you really passed the test breaking clams up on your chest and now you're working at a fish zoo
08:13mr johnson yes mr carbuncle have you ever noticed what's special about kim not till just now
08:23what's so special about kim she's a very good girl because she always does what she ought to
08:28well she's not quite flipper and her costume has a zipper which i'd like to unzip now
08:46she's the kind of girl been around the world yes and when the little kids pull on the costume it makes
08:52a hurl i don't know how she doesn't scare those little kids i do not know it's not as scary as that
08:59big tall shark did whoa hey mr johnson yes mr carbuncle i think i said your name was yes you did
09:07can you tell me what is the best thing about going on a date with a mascot like kim well i can tell you
09:13but we'd get our show canceled well weather is marine aquatic she's the best girl that i've ever seen
09:25she's king
09:35thank you
09:37thank you
09:39we'll be right back with more who's line is it anyway
09:49welcome back to who's line is it anyway the show that the me's just don't have a category for
09:55uh we're going to continue the show with a game called sound effects for ryan and colin come on
09:59down here ryan and colin
10:07hello hello can i have your name please gloria gloria nice to meet you gloria what's your name
10:14diane gloria and diane why don't you come on down here come on down here
10:25hello okay diane this is your microphone stand right up here on this platform here
10:31there you go gloria okay uh what's going to happen these guys are going to do a scene for us and gloria
10:36and diane you're going to do the sound effects for the scene gloria you're going to do the sound
10:41effects for colin and diane you're going to do the sound effects for ryan it's really fun you're going to
10:46have a blast none of your friends will call when they see it they'll leave you alone i swear to god
10:55here's the scene colin is the scottish owner of jurassic park
11:02scottish venture was it ryan is the scientist who realizes things are going terribly wrong
11:07so you guys are doing the sound effects uh glory and take it away whenever you're ready
11:26you never know when you might have to get out of here quickly
11:28because we got trouble here in the park
11:49i'm sorry
11:52i'm a little hungry
11:53i understand it look we've got trouble here at the park
11:58it's so hard with everything going in such a world i know i wish everything would just settle
12:02down for it oh listen complete silence that's what i mean something's up it's been too quiet
12:11around here lately oh what did you oh no oh daddy no go go go daddy no go go
12:30no daddy daddy has to work now go see mommy go see mommy
12:37you shouldn't what do you do you shouldn't have your children here with like dinosaurs
12:44good point that was my best impression look very nice
12:47oh that's great i'm gonna drop the power on the gate so we can go out into the end of the jungle
12:52all right
12:57i'm sorry don't play with your mother i got the wrong switch
13:00listen listen listen now the electricity is flowing through it
13:09and now it's not
13:14there's still a little bit of electricity in there help me with it
13:16quick quick quick quick quick listen it sounds like really heavy food
13:27you're on the boat page look out get out of there get away
13:32there's a tyrannosaurus right behind you you stupid
13:34it's not a very big one is it but they will get bigger
13:44oh thank god the chopper is here
13:52it's never going to be able to lift us up with those tiny propellers
13:55no
14:00i wish they had better phones you know because they uh
14:02quiet raptors
14:09they seem pretty peaceful
14:15i thought they'd be worse in there
14:17perhaps we should go out there ourselves and have a look around
14:20not unprotected we won't i'll just cock it
14:27point it away from me
14:30quick get in the jeep right
14:37i've got to remember
14:38thank you
14:47thank you
14:49thank you
14:53thank you
14:55thank you
14:59yeah i bet the grandkids look forward to her bedtime stories that was great guys
15:18a thousand points apiece for you take them home
15:20wow that was really funny let's move on to a game called three-headed broadway star
15:34for wayne brad and collard wayne brad and collard
15:40what's your name shauna come on down here shauna why don't you step right over there
15:48this is shauna shauna these guys are going to sing a hit broadway love song to you isn't that exciting
16:07and they're going to make up the love song one word at a time as if they were a strange three-headed
16:13broadway star as if now what i need for the audience is i need you to complete this song title
16:18whenever i see your blank
16:20warts okay stop it up
16:26whoa wait whoa somebody behind me said warts
16:30whenever i see your warts
16:36no reflection on shauna i'm sure whenever i see your warts to shauna here
16:41one word at a time take it away with the help of laura hall and linda taylor
16:45when i see your warts i get so horny yes horny
17:02when i look at those cute bumps i get red
17:13what's my friends oh buddy can't you see in my two eyes that i love your warts
17:30beautiful i want your little bumps
17:39bumps
17:41bumps
17:42bumps
17:43bumps
17:44bumps
17:45calm
17:46warts
17:47let me
17:51touch
17:52them
17:53let me
17:54kiss
17:55them
17:56let me
17:57bite
17:58them
17:59let me
18:00nibble
18:01them
18:02those
18:03are
18:0440
18:05yours
18:06are
18:09sporty
18:10yours
18:11are
18:12sporty
18:13mine
18:14are
18:16not
18:17so
18:19cute
18:20and
18:21green
18:22Green
18:30And they need to
18:52Fantastic! We're going to see a commercial. We'll be right back. Thank you, Shauna. We'll be right back.
19:05Welcome back. Welcome back to Who's On? Is It Everywhere? It's the next winner, Colin Mochrie. Colin Mochrie, come on.
19:13We're going to do a game for you. The rest of us are called props. I need a prop for me and Ryan.
19:17Okay, thank you. You guys get your props?
19:23And what happens is we have to go back and forth and think of as many things as we can using these props, starting with Brad and Wayne.
19:32Look, I want to open the giant's next beer.
19:37Hidey-ho, neighbor.
19:41Danger, Will Robinson. Danger.
19:43William!
19:43Big Bird and the wife passed out.
20:02Guess which NSYNC member I am.
20:05And I see Billy and Tommy and Steve.
20:12Rubber, rubber, rubber, boo.
20:14Itsy-bitsy spider in my ass!
20:16Ah!
20:17Ah, look. It's the elephant's restroom.
20:21Oh.
20:22Hey, uh, hey, honey, can you pop a zit?
20:27Put another quarter in.
20:28Click, click, click, click.
20:29And tonight's winner, Colin Mochrie, ladies and gentlemen. Colin Mochrie.
20:34Okay.
20:35Thank you very much.
20:36We'll be right back with our Who's Lines.
20:37Whatever it is, don't go away.
20:39Welcome back to Who's Lines.
20:40And anyway, tonight we're going to have Colin and Brad do the credits for you.
20:42Uh, Brad and Colin, I want you to read the credits as stand-up comics at an open mic night.
20:46In front of a hostile crowd.
20:47Thanks for watching, everybody.
20:48We'll see you next time.
20:49Good night.
20:50I gotta tell you, there's nothing like a Dan Patterson except for a Martin Levinson.
20:53Hey, hey, hey, hey.
20:54Give me a medal.
20:55He's so crazy.
20:56He asked for our bike.
20:57He, he, he, he.
20:58I'll give you a toned park.
20:59I'll give you a walk around the park, but...
21:00Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
21:01I think it was so crazy.
21:02Hey, hey, hey.
21:03Hey, hey, hey.
21:04Hey, hey, hey.
21:05Hey, hey, hey.
21:06Hey, hey, hey.
21:07Hey, hey, hey.
21:08Hey, hey, hey.
21:09Hey, hey, hey.
21:10Hey, hey, hey.
21:11Hey, hey, hey.
21:12Hey, hey, hey, hey.
21:13Hey, hey, hey, hey.
21:14Hey, hey, hey.
21:15I'll give you a walk around the park, but...
21:16Hey, hey, hey, I think it was the right thing.
21:17Oh, God, I've got some good stuff here.
21:18Hey, got some good stuff here.
21:19I'll get some good stuff here.
21:20I don't bother you and your job at Ron West if you know what I'm talking about.
21:21Get outta here.
21:22Put that gun on.
21:23Hey, hey.
21:24I got him.
21:25I got him.
21:26I got him.
21:27Security, we need a complete post.
21:28Hey.
21:29Hey.
21:30Hey.
21:31Hey.
21:32Hey.