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00:00Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Who's Why It Isn't Anyway.
00:05On tonight's show, just a little off the top and leave the sideburns.
00:08Brad Sherwood, just a little off the back and sides.
00:11Wayne Brady, just do the best you can.
00:13Colin Ockrey, and I'll have the Doogie Howser.
00:16Ryan Stiles!
00:18My name's your character, my host, My Dallas has a fun.
00:27Hello!
00:30Oh, God bless you.
00:33Welcome to Who's Line Is It Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
00:36That's right, the points are like if NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys traded guys.
00:45Let's get the show going.
00:46We've got a lot of show.
00:47Let's get the show going with a game called Superheroes.
00:49This is for all four of you.
00:50They're going to act out a scene as unlikely superheroes.
00:52Brad's going to start it out, and then Ryan, Colin, and Wayne will join them.
00:55They're all going to name each other as they come in, kind of screw each other up.
00:58So, what we need for Brad is the name of an unlikely superhero.
01:03Slappy?
01:06Slappy?
01:07Slappy, yeah.
01:08Now, there's a crisis in the world.
01:10What is it?
01:13We're out of milk.
01:14We're out of milk?
01:15Yeah.
01:17We're out of milk, Slappy.
01:18What are you going to do?
01:19These chocolate cookies are delicious.
01:33I'm so thirsty.
01:36Zoinks!
01:39Damn refrigerator!
01:40What am I going to do?
01:49Hey, Slappy.
01:50Got milk?
01:51Oh.
01:53Good thing you're here, panicky ski-jump puppet man.
02:01Nice to be here.
02:04Where you been?
02:05There's no milk.
02:14There's no milk.
02:15There's no milk.
02:16I know.
02:19I hurried over as quickly as I could.
02:21The bitter drunk kid.
02:26Get away.
02:29I made more money.
02:31I made more money.
02:31I made more money.
02:35That damn development deal fell through.
02:45Sorry I'm late.
02:46Thank God you're here, you stupid Captain Flubber.
02:51So who needs help?
02:52Help!
02:53Ding!
02:54Bring!
02:55King!
02:56King!
02:58Dang!
02:59Spring!
03:00Spring!
03:00Spring!
03:05I'll be right back.
03:16I'm going to the store.
03:17Hey, hey!
03:19Flubber will kick your ass.
03:22Bring!
03:24Bring!
03:28I could have done that.
03:31My strings!
03:32My strings!
03:33My strings!
03:33My strings!
03:35Looks like another crisis averted.
03:40There's just one more thing to do.
03:54That was great.
03:55Boy, we're going to miss you around here, Slappy.
04:00Oh, the bitter drunk kid.
04:03See you in a couple hours.
04:04Now, let's play a game called Two-Line Vocabulary.
04:11This is for Brad, Ryan, and Colin.
04:13The idea of this game is that our performers are going to be acting on a scene.
04:16However, Ryan and Brad, I'm going to give them two lines that they can say.
04:20That's all they're allowed to say is one of those two lines, the entire scene.
04:23Colin can say whatever he wants.
04:25Brad, your lines are, what do you mean by that?
04:28And I want one of those.
04:30Ryan, your lines are, that's my job, and someone needs a hug.
04:36That's all you're allowed to say.
04:38The scene is, Colin is a female boss.
04:42Who has invited Brad and Ryan over for a barbecue to discuss the fact that only one of them is getting promoted.
04:48Take it away.
04:53Hi, guys.
04:53I'm glad you could make it.
04:54Help yourself to the dip.
04:55I want one of those.
04:56Help yourself.
04:56That's my job.
04:58No.
04:58We're having a party.
05:02You don't have to feed here.
05:03Someone needs a hug.
05:05Give it to him.
05:06I want one of those.
05:08Yes.
05:09There.
05:10You know, I'm so glad you guys are so friendly and supportive of each other because only one of you is getting promotion to head feeder.
05:18That's my job.
05:20It is your job.
05:21What do you mean by that?
05:23Only one of you can get promoted to the position of head feeder.
05:27What do you mean by that?
05:30Somebody needs a hug.
05:32I know somebody needs a hug.
05:34Listen.
05:34I want one of those.
05:34Don't.
05:35There.
05:36That's my job.
05:38Look.
05:40I want one of those.
05:42You've got one of those.
05:43What do you mean by that?
05:45You've got one of those.
05:46That's the reason you're not being promoted.
05:48There, I said it.
05:49Ooh.
05:50Somebody needs a hug.
05:52Would you like a daiquiri?
05:55What do you mean by that?
05:58You're incredibly stupid.
06:00That's why you're not getting the job.
06:01Why I spend too much time explaining things to you.
06:04That's my job.
06:04It's not your job.
06:06Your job is to feed.
06:07That's all you have to do is feed.
06:09Somebody needs a hug.
06:10I don't need a hug.
06:11I want one of those.
06:12You're not getting any.
06:13That's my job.
06:13Shut up.
06:14Somebody needs a hug.
06:14I don't need a hug.
06:15What does it mean by that?
06:17That's what I'm saying.
06:18You don't understand anything.
06:19I spend all day explaining what has to be done.
06:24Somebody needs a hug.
06:25I'm going to...
06:26Now, you still have the same job.
06:32You're still going to make the same amount of money.
06:34You'll be happy.
06:35What do you mean by that?
06:36Ah!
06:39All right.
06:40Look at the diagram.
06:41That's my job.
06:43I want one of those.
06:46All right.
06:47You don't want to have to do this.
06:49Take off your clothes.
06:50Somebody needs a hug.
07:01Colin, as far as I'm concerned, you stopped that just in time.
07:05What do you mean by that?
07:061,000 points for you.
07:09That's a great game for your kid, that two lines.
07:11Give him two lines.
07:11I just say all day, that's all I'm allowed to say.
07:14They'll think it's a game.
07:16Let's go on to a game, my favorite game, called Scenes from a Hat.
07:23Now, what happens is, before every Who's Line taping, we ask the audience to write down different
07:27suggestions for things.
07:28We take the good ones, some of them, and we put them in this hat.
07:32We try to see how many of these suggestions the performers can act out for us.
07:35Starting with, what the cast of Cats is doing, now that the show has finally closed.
07:53Graffiti in the Who's Line bathroom.
07:55Colin is here.
08:11I give myself 1,000 points.
08:14The wrong thing to say to a heartbroken friend.
08:39Dude, calm down.
08:43It's okay.
08:44She doesn't kiss that well.
08:53Dude, calm down.
08:55He doesn't kiss that well.
08:56Oh, it'll grow back.
09:11What Who's Line cast members wish for when they blow out their birthday candles.
09:31No more hoedowns.
09:32Let me play a man in a scene.
09:51Please don't let Drew make me go into that desk again.
09:54Young man, I'll see you at my desk, after a minute.
10:06In-laws that make you question your engagement.
10:17Hi, this is Tipper.
10:19I'm Al.
10:20Welcome back to Who's Line is a New Way, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.
10:41That's right, the points are like that $20 bill that Tiger Woods finds in a jacket he hasn't worn in a while.
10:45Well, what's this?
10:51We're going to move on with a game called Greatest Hits.
10:54This is for everybody with Laura Hall, Linda Taylor, Sissy Royal.
10:58Literally everybody on the show is going to be playing this one for you.
11:03Everybody.
11:03What's going to happen is Ryan and Colin are going to be like TV pitchmen,
11:07talking about a compilation album they're trying to sell,
11:09and they're going to make up names of songs,
11:11and Brad and Wayne are going to have to try to sing them.
11:13What I need from the audience is, I need to know what he wanted to be when he grew up.
11:18The what?
11:21Traveling salesman.
11:21I like the woman right there.
11:22Traveling salesman.
11:24So, the name of your album is Songs of the Traveling Salesman.
11:28Take it away.
11:30Hi, we'll be back to the Wrong Emphasis Theater production of
11:33What's New Pussycat?
11:36In just a second.
11:40But first, we've got something for you.
11:41We sure have, Colin, the Traveling Salesman.
11:44Years ago, of course, I'm much too young to remember the days of the Traveling Salesman,
11:49but it must hold a lot of fond memories for you.
11:53That's right, Ryan.
11:55You know what, Ryan?
11:57I'm proud to be a Canadian.
11:59And you know what?
11:59Canada's brought the world many of its best musical artists.
12:03Really?
12:04People like Alanis Morissette.
12:06Neil Young.
12:06Celine Dion.
12:07Little Richard.
12:08All of them great Canadians.
12:10Of course, not many people know he was actually called Little Richard.
12:17Oh.
12:19He was French.
12:20He was Canadian.
12:20Yeah, he was from Montreal.
12:21I know, I remember.
12:22Anyway.
12:24Lost my train of thought.
12:26Canadian.
12:27Oh, yes, Canadian.
12:28I'm Canadian.
12:30One of my favorite bands of recent years are the Bare Naked Ladies.
12:34Oh.
12:42They're not real ladies, are they?
12:43No, they're not real ladies.
12:45They're actually fully dressed men.
12:47No.
12:47All right.
12:48But the Bare Naked Ladies did a great Traveling Salesman song,
12:51which, of course, is entitled,
12:53What I'm About to Say Right Now.
12:55And that title, of course, is.
12:57It's coming right out of my mouth.
13:00Even though you look at me in disbelief.
13:02Sleep.
13:03The title of the song is
13:05It Sucks Up Pennies.
13:07Can't nobody understand
13:16I'm not a loser
13:18Put dirt on your floor
13:19And I show my Hoover
13:21Oh, look at this
13:22It gobbles of pennies
13:24Hey, you got dirt?
13:25Hey, I've got plenty
13:26It sucks up pennies
13:27It sucks up pennies
13:29It sucks up
13:30Anything that you want
13:33Anything you want
13:34It sucks up in your deep pile cup
13:36But no matter where you're going
13:37I see that you're going
13:39It sucks up
13:39And I do not care
13:41But I'll suck up the land
13:42And I'll suck up the hair
13:44And I'll suck up the turbos
13:46You'll catch it up
13:47And I'll suck it
13:48It sucks up
13:48It sucks up
13:49It sucks up
13:49It sucks up
13:50It sucks up
13:50It sucks up pennies
13:51Ooh
13:53Ooh
13:54Ooh
13:55Ooh
13:57Ooh
13:59Ooh
14:01Ooh
14:02Ooh
14:03You know
14:12They held that ooh
14:14For 15 minutes
14:15Beating the Beatles
14:18Hmm
14:19At the end of Day in the Life
14:21By some time
14:22Sleep
14:27Fun fact
14:33You know, Colin
14:34In 1964
14:36I received my draft notice
14:38To go to Vietnam
14:39Unfortunately, I was five years old
14:42And I made up a little protest song of my own
14:47Did you?
14:47Oh, yes
14:48But it doesn't match the great protest songs of the 60s
14:51Including this song simply titled
14:54Knock, knock, hello, slam
14:56Hello
15:00I want to say
15:03My name is Bob
15:05I know you don't know me
15:07Too well
15:07I got my suitcase
15:10Knock on the door
15:12Slam in my face
15:14Please don't do that anymore
15:16Knock, knock
15:18Please don't do that anymore
15:20Slap
15:21Knock, knock
15:23And I rang your bell
15:25And I could tell
15:26You wish I would go to hell
15:28I tried to unhand your door
15:30But you said no
15:31When I looked through your little keyhole
15:35And you just said no, no, no
15:37And I just thought I would lose control
15:40Knock, knock, knock
15:42Hello, slam
15:43Knock, knock, knock
15:44Hello, slam
15:45And it ain't with the slam
15:47You know who I am
15:49Who I am
15:50Knock, knock, knock
15:51Hello, slam
15:53And you don't know who I am
15:59Peace
16:15You know, I know you like your bluegrass
16:28Oh, do I?
16:29But I love my alternative pop
16:31Ah
16:31And I'm not
16:32That's different
16:33Yes
16:38And one of my favorite groups
16:41Although they've only had one hit, really
16:43But they could get more
16:44Time's young
16:45It's only the millennium
16:46I'll keep going
16:48I'm talking, of course, about the Bloodhound Gang
16:51Oh
16:52And their great traveling salesman hit
16:54I forgot my pitch
16:56Here I am
17:07At your door
17:08I don't know what to say anymore
17:11Here I am
17:13At your door
17:15I don't know what to say anymore
17:18Well, I'm in trouble
17:20I'm in a stitch
17:21Don't you know
17:21I forgot my pitch
17:22I cannot hear
17:23What I'm gonna say
17:24What am I gonna do?
17:25I might go away
17:26I knocked on your door
17:26I tried to sell a brush
17:27And now I'm saying
17:28Oh, hush
17:29I forgot what I'm gonna say
17:31What I'm gonna do anyway
17:32Here I am
17:34No, no more
17:35I forgot what I'd say
17:38At your door
17:39Here I am
17:41No, no more
17:43Got what to say
17:44At your door
17:46Which is which
17:48Oh my gosh
17:49I forgot my pitch
17:50Here I am
17:51I'm to sell
17:51That one in the living hell
17:53Blah, blah, blah
17:54No one's come out
17:55And I'm filled with nagging doubt
17:56You are looking at me like I'm dumb
17:58Here I've got brushes
17:59One of my stuff
18:00Here I am
18:02At your door
18:03Don't know what to say anymore
18:06Here I am
18:08At your door
18:10Don't know what to say
18:12Anymore
18:14Thank you very much
18:20We're right back
18:21On Who The Winner Is
18:21Don't Go Away
18:22Hello
18:27Welcome back
18:28To Who The Winner Is
18:29And Anymore
18:29It's nice to win
18:29It's Kyle Macri
18:31Kyle Macri is there
18:32So, uh, we're gonna
18:35The rest of it
18:36We're gonna do a game
18:36For you called
18:37300 Broadway Star
18:38With the help of
18:38Laura Hall and Linda Taylor
18:39And we grabbed, uh
18:40Grabbed good old Becca here
18:43From the audience
18:44Here in commercial
18:44How you doing, Becca?
18:45And, uh, what I'm saying
18:46To the audience
18:46Is a suggestion
18:47I need you to finish
18:48The sentence
18:49Uh, I love you
18:50For your blank
18:51First time we kissed
18:55Okay
18:55The first time we kissed
18:56The hit Broadway love song
18:58To Becca
18:58Take it away
19:00Laura and Linda
19:00When we first met
19:08I knew that you were the one
19:12Looking into my face
19:16I
19:17Didn't know
19:22That you felt
19:24The
19:25Same way
19:27Oh
19:27You
19:30Are
19:31My
19:32And
19:33Droid
19:35Person
19:36Kissing
19:38My
19:39Lips
19:40Is
19:41Fine
19:43Take
19:45Take
19:45My
19:46Pants
19:48To
19:49The
19:50Cleaners
19:52And
19:53Show
19:54Them
19:55That
19:56Place
19:58In
19:59Your
20:00Face
20:01Your
20:04Face
20:05We
20:06First
20:08Loved
20:10Kissing
20:12In
20:12The
20:13Dark
20:14Of
20:15My
20:16Pinto
20:17Car
20:20In
20:23Love
20:25With
20:26You
20:27Kiss
20:28Me
20:30Twice
20:31Because
20:33I'm
20:35Nigh
20:37Thank you very much for right back on Who's Ones. Thank you, Becca.
20:44Hey, welcome back to Who's Ones and Anyway. Tonight we're going to have Wayne and Brad do the credits for you. I want you to do the credits as two obnoxious, hyped-up rock stars accepting an award.
20:58Thanks for watching, everybody. We'll see you next time. Good night.
21:00We'll see you next time.
21:02Jay
21:02James
21:09Woo
21:09Woo
21:09From the
21:09Woo
21:10Thank you
21:11Woo
21:11Woo
21:12Woo
21:13Woo
21:14Yin
21:15Woo
21:24Woo
21:24Woo
21:25Woo
21:25Woo
21:25Woo
21:26Haw
21:26Woo
21:26Woo
21:27Woo
21:28Woo