John Rich | Barstool Rundown
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00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 - All right, it's the rundown.
00:05 It is the run, yes, this is super serious.
00:07 - You get the NASCAR ad?
00:08 - I do, it's right here.
00:09 - Oh, you've had it the whole time?
00:10 - No, somebody brought it at some point.
00:13 I have it and I'm gonna read it,
00:15 but this is the rundown debut of Mr. Blutman.
00:18 - Yep.
00:19 - Is it gonna be good?
00:20 - I think it's gonna be good, looking forward to it.
00:23 - Give me five predictions for your rundown debut.
00:27 - Ooh, the kitchen doesn't catch on fire
00:30 'cause Mincy's not in it, that's a good prediction.
00:32 - You never know.
00:33 - Yeah, you never know.
00:35 Nobody walks across the cameras and interrupts our shot.
00:40 - All right, two's enough.
00:42 NASCAR.
00:43 - The whispers kept at a minimum.
00:44 - You can purchase tickets to tailgate
00:47 with Brianna and Grace O'Malley
00:49 in Talladega's famous North Park camping area.
00:52 Tickets for the tailgate include general admission
00:54 to the Geico 500, a Barstool Dega t-shirt,
00:57 and access to a Saturday night concert
00:58 featuring Walker Hayes.
01:00 - Wow, he has a Pixar jawline.
01:03 - Does he?
01:03 - Yeah.
01:04 - Good jawline on that boy?
01:05 - Pixar.
01:06 - Really?
01:07 Talladega Super Speed, is that good or bad?
01:08 Is that too pronounced?
01:09 Some Pixar characters are cartoonishly,
01:12 well, I guess they're all cartoonishly animated.
01:15 Talladega Super Speedway is known as NASCAR's biggest
01:18 and baddest track.
01:19 It's two and a half miles long
01:20 and where racing reaches 200 miles per hour
01:22 with cars just inches apart.
01:25 Wow, he's got a little Francis Ellis to him.
01:28 - A little, but he is, this man's a trapezoid.
01:31 - That boy's chiseled.
01:32 - He's got a rhombus for a jaw.
01:34 - That's, that's a lot of jaw.
01:36 - How many edges does he have?
01:37 - Somebody will discover his grave in 200 years
01:40 and think we evolved rapidly.
01:42 - His skull would look like the dice from Scattergories.
01:45 - It's a, what'd you say, a decahedron?
01:49 - A dodecahedron, I'd say.
01:51 - Star drivers include Chase Elliott.
01:53 - He's got a beard over it now,
01:54 that's a slap in the face to God.
01:55 - That's Walker Hayes?
01:56 - That's Walker Hayes.
01:57 - Chase Elliott, Denny Hamlin, Ryan Blaney,
02:00 Ross Chastain, Bubba Wallace are your star drivers.
02:02 Make sure to catch NASCAR Full Speed on Netflix
02:04 so you can watch your favorite drivers
02:05 before they take on Talladega Super Speedway.
02:08 Purchase your tickets now to experience
02:09 a Parsall Sports Day upgrade
02:12 at Talladega Super Speedway featuring Bree and Grace O'Malley.
02:14 - His dad's a bionicle and his mom's a bike seat.
02:17 - You know, we--
02:18 - Jesus Christ, Walter.
02:19 - We work at a weak-jawed company.
02:20 - Yes.
02:21 - That's jarring.
02:22 But is it 'cause we work here?
02:24 No, that's a pronounced jaw.
02:25 - That's a jaw that doesn't exist.
02:27 - That looks like a guy smiley from Sesame Street.
02:30 - Oh my God, it does, yeah.
02:31 - Yeah, he had a pronounced jaw.
02:33 - Yeesh.
02:34 - Who was your favorite Sesame Street character?
02:37 You look like one. - Cookie Monster.
02:38 - You like Cookie Monster?
02:39 - I don't look like Cookie Monster.
02:40 - You don't look like Cookie Monster.
02:41 - No, no, no.
02:42 - But if, you got a little snuffleupagus, do you?
02:45 - I liked that big bird.
02:47 - Thank you, Brandon.
02:49 - Whatever the fuck his name is.
02:51 - Jerry Judy tweets about him were great.
02:53 - Jerry Judy tweeted about Big Bird?
02:54 - Oh yeah.
02:55 - What did Jerry Judy tweet about Big Bird?
02:56 - A lot about Big Bird.
02:57 - He tweeted a lot about Big Bird?
02:59 - A lot about Big Bird.
02:59 - I don't know that he tweeted a lot about Big Bird.
03:02 Well, we gotta find out.
03:03 We can't go any further
03:04 until I get Jerry Judy's tweets about Big Bird.
03:06 - It'd be better if he--
03:07 - How many is a lot, three?
03:08 - Jerry Judy, Big Bird.
03:10 A lot.
03:11 - Damn.
03:13 - Big Bird, there's one tweet.
03:14 What if you see Big Bird fucking Elmo?
03:17 What if you see Big Bird robbing an old lady?
03:19 What if you see Big Bird and Barney slap boxing?
03:22 What if Big Bird did a drive-by?
03:24 - This was a good--
03:25 - From the mind of Jerry Judy.
03:27 - Good rabbit hole here.
03:28 - What if you see Big Bird,
03:29 I don't know what that word is,
03:30 so I don't wanna say it,
03:31 just in case it's a word I can't say.
03:33 - Mints.
03:34 - Blank in, mm.
03:37 - Give me the, I gotta see what the--
03:38 - What if you see Big Bird walk to you,
03:40 ask for $5 so he could buy a bag?
03:43 - Of what?
03:44 Drugs?
03:45 - What if you see Big Bird getting beat up
03:47 by a cookie monster or smashing Elmo?
03:49 - He goes back to smashing Elmo.
03:51 - Back to smashing Elmo.
03:52 - Okay, so rundown--
03:55 - Elmo's a guy, right?
03:56 - Elmo's a dude.
03:57 Is Elmo a kid?
03:58 - The voice of Elmo got arrested for bad stuff.
04:00 - Really, sexual?
04:01 - Mm.
04:02 - I don't--
04:03 - The worst stuff.
04:04 - Growing up, I didn't know that many people,
04:05 it seems like everybody gets arrested for sex stuff.
04:07 - Yeah.
04:08 - Everybody.
04:09 There's a lot of, teachers, principals, Elmos.
04:13 - The clergy.
04:13 - The clergy, everybody gets arrested for diddling people.
04:16 - Yeah, people.
04:17 - Barney?
04:18 - Barney's never, I don't think Barney ever got arrested.
04:19 - Barney did something.
04:20 - Was he ever been unmasked or was he anonymous?
04:22 - I thought Barney did something.
04:23 - Do we know Barney?
04:24 - I don't know if we even know who Barney was.
04:26 - Was Barney a man or a woman in there?
04:28 Or was there even anybody in?
04:29 - There was somebody in Barney.
04:31 - Have you ever seen the inside of the Big Bird suit?
04:33 - No, is it nice looking?
04:33 - It's intricate, no, it's machine-like.
04:35 - Oh, really?
04:36 I would have thought it had AC and stuff.
04:37 - It's got all these levers and cranks
04:39 and it has a small TV so he can see everything.
04:41 - Oh, really, he just doesn't look out the mouth?
04:43 - No, he's not looking out the mouth at all.
04:45 - Henson was a genius, man, rest easy.
04:47 - He's got Mississippi ties.
04:48 - Does he?
04:49 - He's from there.
04:50 - Oh, that's ties.
04:50 - Not really ties.
04:52 Last night, the Lakers played the Pelicans.
04:54 They beat 'em 110-106, the Lakers get the seven seed,
04:58 they play the Nuggets now.
04:59 The interesting part of that game was the Nuggets,
05:02 Zion, not the Nuggets, the Pelicans,
05:06 Zion Williamson scored 40 points.
05:07 - Oh, he's got Nuggets on the brain, don't you?
05:09 - Hey, they're coming in a second.
05:11 Zion scored 40, had 11 rebounds,
05:13 three minutes left, he gets hurt.
05:15 It was the full Zion Williamson experience
05:19 where he is great and then he's gone 'cause he's hurt.
05:23 Problem?
05:24 - Yeah, big problem, we gotta figure it out.
05:26 - Yeah, we do.
05:27 - How are we gonna figure that out?
05:28 - I don't know, I don't watch the association.
05:29 - He's gotta get less big.
05:30 - You don't watch the association?
05:31 - No.
05:32 - You watch every sport.
05:33 - I watch a lot of sports.
05:34 - You watch every single sport.
05:36 You watch Division IX football.
05:38 - I don't watch the MLB.
05:39 - You watch junior hockey.
05:40 - Junior hockey's great.
05:42 We're gonna have so much fun watching the Memorial Cup
05:46 here in like a month or so.
05:47 - And you don't watch--
05:48 - Cape Brown Eagles up 3-0 against Shakur to me right now.
05:52 - There we go.
05:53 - You don't watch the NBA?
05:54 - No, I haven't in years.
05:57 - Do you watch the NBA?
05:58 - I do.
05:59 - You do?
06:00 - I do.
06:01 - Casually.
06:02 - Well, now, not casually.
06:03 I'm a casual regular season guy
06:04 and then I'll watch as many playoff games as I can.
06:06 - You do?
06:06 - Yeah, yeah.
06:07 - Okay.
06:08 - I'm not, the regular season--
06:09 - This is a great time of year.
06:10 - Oh, you watch the final?
06:11 - No, the regular season product stinks.
06:13 I'm not gonna watch that.
06:15 If I didn't watch the entire regular season,
06:17 why am I just gonna throw myself in to watch the playoffs?
06:19 - You watch--
06:20 - I don't wanna do that.
06:21 - You show up at Tuesday morning at 7 a.m.
06:24 to watch the 292nd seated women's tennis player
06:28 in the world play in Dubai.
06:30 - Good product.
06:31 - Okay.
06:33 - Good product.
06:34 - Speaking of basketball, okay, here's one.
06:36 This is casual.
06:36 You can do a casual take on this.
06:38 The Warriors lost last night.
06:39 - Yeah.
06:40 - They're out.
06:41 - Yeah, yep.
06:42 - Is this the end?
06:43 - This is the last time you see the three together.
06:44 - Really?
06:44 - Yeah.
06:45 - You think two of them stay?
06:46 You think it's Draymond and Steph continue on?
06:48 You think Klay's out?
06:49 - Draymond and Steph stay.
06:50 Klay, I think Klay's checked out.
06:52 - Klay seemed out.
06:52 - Yeah.
06:53 - Yeah, he went 0 for 10 last night, 0 for six from three,
06:56 and at the end, he did that thing,
06:58 everybody was walking off, and he kind of had a towel,
07:00 and he just did this, and he stayed there
07:02 and watched everything.
07:03 - Took it at the last moment.
07:04 - The surrender Cobra, just surveying the scene.
07:06 - Yeah, he surveyed the scene.
07:07 - All the memories.
07:08 - Yeah.
07:08 - I love Klay Thompson.
07:09 - Do you?
07:10 - Yeah.
07:11 - I love Steph Curry.
07:12 - Yeah, I do too.
07:13 - I think I like them all, even Draymond.
07:13 - You like Draymond?
07:14 - I like Draymond.
07:15 You need a Draymond every now and then.
07:16 - Yeah, Klay's my favorite.
07:18 - Why do you like Klay?
07:19 - He seems chill, he takes the boat to practice and games.
07:23 - Now, you were into Klaymation as a kid.
07:25 - I was, yeah.
07:26 - Does that play into it?
07:27 - Klay, I like anything Klay.
07:28 Gumby, Wallace and Gromit, Aiken.
07:31 - Chicken Run?
07:32 - Chicken Run was okay.
07:34 - But that was Klay, right?
07:35 That was like towards the end of Klaymation.
07:36 I can't tell you the last time we had a decent one.
07:39 There was that Kubo show, but that was more stop motion.
07:41 I don't know if it was Klay.
07:42 - It was the most--
07:44 - Famous Klay?
07:44 - Yeah.
07:45 - Probably Gumby.
07:46 - There's Klay Walker.
07:47 - Gumby.
07:48 - Klay Walker, country music star.
07:49 He's my second cousin.
07:51 - Is he actually?
07:52 - On my mom's side, yeah.
07:53 - You're kidding me.
07:54 - Yep.
07:55 - He got a jaw?
07:56 - I don't know.
07:57 No, he's round-faced.
07:59 He's very round.
08:00 A lot of country music singers are round-faced.
08:01 - Did you like Mr. Bill?
08:02 - Hmm, oh, that guy?
08:04 - Yeah.
08:05 - I didn't--
08:06 - He would always get in,
08:07 he would get himself into pickles.
08:09 - Yeah, he really would.
08:10 Do you know what Mr. Bill is?
08:12 - I might, I might have to look it up.
08:15 - English?
08:16 - No, you know I don't speak English much.
08:19 There's just times where I'm not speaking English.
08:21 - Yeah, my bad.
08:22 I forgot you don't speak English.
08:23 - Oh, no idea what this is.
08:24 Not a clue.
08:25 - That's Mr. Bill.
08:26 - He would always get himself flattened or melted.
08:27 - But that's an old, Mr. Bill's an old dude, right?
08:30 He's probably 40 or 50 years old.
08:31 - Right now?
08:32 - Yeah.
08:33 - He's 45 right now.
08:34 - All right.
08:36 - Hope he's doing well.
08:37 - Trouble, they're just not gonna whisper out here.
08:39 - No, I don't think so.
08:40 - I told, my prediction lost.
08:42 - Yeah.
08:42 - I said whisper a minute.
08:43 - They're not just gonna.
08:44 Stefan, if you wanna ask them to whisper again,
08:46 that'd be great.
08:47 (man speaking off mic)
08:51 - No, that's not--
08:53 - That was not to Paige, she's giving it to her quietly.
08:54 - Yeah, it was the other people, not Paige.
08:56 - Yeah, it wasn't Paige.
08:58 - But people here hate women, that's fine.
09:01 So, we've got Bill Belichick, Robert Kraft, drama.
09:06 Drama on the home front.
09:07 Actually, it's not the home front anymore,
09:08 'cause they're not together anymore.
09:10 Anyway, there are rumors, stories, reports out there
09:14 that when Bill Belichick tried to get
09:15 the Atlanta Falcons job, we all thought he was gonna get it,
09:17 it looks like he was gonna get it, boom.
09:19 They pull the red carpet out from under him,
09:20 not the red carpet, they pull the carpet out from under him.
09:22 - Could've been.
09:23 - And they hire Raheem Morris.
09:25 It comes out that it's possible that Kraft
09:28 was bad-mouthing him and tanked his ability to get the job.
09:32 Belichick interviewed twice, didn't get the job.
09:35 According to a source in a conversation
09:36 between Robert Kraft and Falcons owner Arthur Blank,
09:39 Kraft stark assessment of Belichick's character
09:42 and warned Blank not to trust Bill Belichick.
09:45 - There's no way that's true.
09:47 He won you how many fucking rings?
09:49 You're not gonna bad-mouth him.
09:51 And the thing is, if he's not a good coach anymore,
09:54 I mean, you saw the offensive product this year,
09:56 you saw that team this past year, abysmal, dated.
10:01 Why wouldn't you want him to go to another team?
10:02 - I think you could solve this little riddle very quickly
10:06 if you're Arthur Blank.
10:07 If Robert Kraft says you don't wanna hire this guy,
10:10 he's got bad character, don't you then ask
10:12 why was he your coach for 25 years?
10:15 Why did you have a two-decade relationship with this guy
10:18 if he's such a bad guy?
10:19 - There's no way this is true.
10:21 - So--
10:22 - Also, if you wanna end things amicably,
10:24 like yeah, he took this Falcons job,
10:25 he's ready to move on instead of just--
10:26 - Yeah, that seems like you can wash your hands
10:28 of it very quickly.
10:29 He moves on, we move on.
10:30 - You have nothing to worry about.
10:30 - Why would you take that?
10:31 Yeah, it's not true, you're right.
10:33 Is it true?
10:34 - There's a world where it could be true
10:36 and there's a world where it isn't true at all,
10:38 but there's also a world where Kraft told other teams
10:42 stay away from Belichick and start bad-mouthing
10:44 into other teams.
10:45 - Well, how old's Belichick?
10:46 - Hold on, there's three different--
10:47 - It was his birthday yesterday.
10:48 - Infinite worlds.
10:49 - It was Bill's birthday yesterday.
10:50 - Really?
10:51 - Yep, this was a terrible birthday present for him.
10:53 - You think Belichick celebrates his birthday?
10:55 - Yeah.
10:56 - Yeah, I think secretly he's just--
10:57 - I think he's partying more and more.
10:59 - A big birthday guy.
11:00 I think he's a big happy guy.
11:02 I think behind the scenes of football,
11:03 he's just happy all the time.
11:05 I think he just walks around like Ben Mintz,
11:08 just kind of oblivious to the world,
11:09 except when he gets in football mode,
11:10 then that's football mode. - Locks in.
11:13 - What else we got?
11:13 We have top Hollywood producer, Carol Baum,
11:19 says Sydney Sweeney isn't pretty and she cannot act.
11:23 I don't know if she can act or not.
11:24 I don't really, I haven't seen her movies or her TV shows.
11:27 - I don't know if she's pretty or not.
11:28 I've never seen her face.
11:29 - Okay, does Sydney Sweeney have great titties?
11:35 Yes.
11:36 - I think she's beautiful.
11:37 - She's beautiful.
11:39 This thing where people have come out and said,
11:40 she's not that pretty, I can't believe she's not hot.
11:42 That motherfucker's beautiful.
11:44 - And the thing is, she's also smart.
11:47 - Is she?
11:48 - I would guarantee.
11:49 - Why?
11:50 - I think she's smart, I bet you she can make me laugh.
11:53 - She's not like those other girls.
11:54 You ever?
11:56 - I haven't even noticed if she was pretty or not
11:58 because I just, I close my eyes whenever she's on,
12:00 I listen to her words.
12:01 - Yeah, speaks to your soul?
12:02 Pretty, is she pretty?
12:06 - Don't know, but her fan base is bright.
12:08 - I'm sorry, I'm sorry, time?
12:10 You don't know?
12:11 - I don't know, subjective.
12:13 Danny Conrad, is Sydney Sweeney pretty?
12:15 Danny said no.
12:18 Danny's, what?
12:19 - The question has to be asked.
12:23 - Danny said no.
12:24 - Emphatic no, that was, he almost said no
12:26 before you got the question.
12:27 - Yeah.
12:27 - He said false.
12:30 - But you don't, when I asked you, is she pretty,
12:33 you said I don't know.
12:35 That's the one answer that can't be used.
12:37 - My brain don't think like that.
12:39 - How does your brain don't think like that?
12:40 - Do you think she's a good actress?
12:41 - Never seen anything she's in, that's like brain.
12:43 - Do you know who I'm talking about?
12:44 - Yes, I know, and I know that her fan base,
12:46 she's rioting against Carol.
12:47 - She's obviously very pretty, she's a blonde bombshell
12:50 and she maybe should become a better actress.
12:54 That comes with time.
12:55 - No.
12:56 - How old is she?
12:57 - I'm making, like how old is she?
12:58 I don't know, how old is she?
12:59 20, 26, 25?
13:01 Frank, is Sydney Sweeney pretty?
13:03 - Yes.
13:04 - Thank you, Frank.
13:05 Jesus, Jinx, is Sydney Sweeney pretty?
13:08 Yeah, obviously.
13:09 - So it's only Conrad.
13:10 - Go up, Conrad, he doesn't know.
13:13 - That's fine, you're allowed to be on the fence.
13:15 - Is she pretty?
13:15 - Show me a picture of black and white.
13:19 - That's forgiving.
13:20 - Honey.
13:21 - Oh God.
13:22 - Okay, is she pretty?
13:23 - I don't know.
13:27 - She's pretty.
13:28 - I don't sure know.
13:30 - Yeah, she's pretty.
13:31 - Anyway.
13:35 - Carol bomb, let's see what Carol bomb looks like.
13:37 - Bet she can't act either.
13:39 What does she produce?
13:40 (screaming)
13:41 (laughing)
13:44 (mumbling)
13:46 (screaming)
13:47 (laughing)
13:48 - Yeah, Carol, all right.
13:49 She looks like Carol.
13:51 I would name that person Carol.
13:52 - Yeah, she looks like a Carol.
13:55 - Carol.
13:56 Carol's not, no babies are getting named Carol.
13:58 - No.
13:59 - When's the last, what year was the last time
14:02 we had a thousand Carols?
14:03 - Well, Christmas names have fallen off.
14:04 Carol, Noel, Santa.
14:07 - 1972.
14:08 - 1972, you think is the last time we had a thousand
14:10 Carols?
14:11 - I bet you there's five Carols in America under 20.
14:19 - Now you gotta admit, you gotta say,
14:21 you gotta reserve some spots for being named
14:23 after your grandmother.
14:24 - Family names, yep.
14:24 - Yeah, so I would say it's like a hundred.
14:27 - You think there's a hundred under 20 Carols?
14:29 - I think there's a hundred Carols under 20.
14:31 - That's absurd.
14:32 - There's so many people that are named,
14:34 we found a Hoyt yesterday.
14:35 - Hoyt?
14:36 - We found an 18 year old Hoyt.
14:37 - Yes, and how hard has it been to find Hoyts?
14:38 - It's been hard, but Hoyt's way crazier than Carol.
14:41 - I'm going to Facebook.
14:42 - I think there's a hundred Carols under 20, yeah.
14:44 - There ain't no young Carols.
14:45 - I think I would take the young.
14:46 - I think there named--
14:47 - There ain't no young Carols.
14:47 - I think they're named after their grandparents
14:50 and mothers and whatnot.
14:52 - No, we're not getting Carols.
14:54 - None of these Carols are young, are they?
14:55 They all have the same face.
14:56 - They all have the same face.
14:58 - They all have the same face.
15:00 They all have glasses and short hair.
15:01 - That's, nope.
15:02 - That's not Carol.
15:03 Oh, there's a mask.
15:05 That's a young Carol.
15:07 That's she, this one, no, no, the second one.
15:10 That one, she's young.
15:11 - Not under 20, not under 20.
15:14 - No.
15:16 - That's another, that's Carol face.
15:17 Goddamn.
15:19 Nobody's on Facebook though.
15:20 No young people on Facebook.
15:21 - Everybody's on Facebook.
15:22 - No young people, nobody--
15:23 - All right, where do we go to find Carols then?
15:25 - Instagram.
15:26 Find Carols on Instagram.
15:28 - No, it's--
15:29 - Memes, are there a hundred,
15:30 under 20 years old in this country?
15:34 Under or more than a hundred women named Carol?
15:37 There has to be more.
15:42 - No memes.
15:44 - Oh, goddamn.
15:45 - Yeah, there's some Carols.
15:47 - No.
15:48 - There's some Carols.
15:49 But it could--
15:53 - Was memes just walking with lettuce?
15:55 - Yeah, it was walking with a head of lettuce.
15:57 - What?
15:58 - Just a bag of lettuce?
15:59 - That's probably for their turtle.
16:00 - That's, yeah.
16:01 - Oh, forgot about that.
16:02 - Did that make its debut?
16:02 Mr. Pear make its debut?
16:03 - Yeah.
16:04 - But a lot of these people are just Caroline.
16:06 - Yeah.
16:07 - Or Carol-in.
16:08 - But how many Carols throughout history were Carolines?
16:10 - Yeah, if you're a Caroline,
16:11 do you shorten your name to Carol?
16:13 I feel like that's never happened in the history of--
16:15 - That's happened.
16:16 That's certainly happened.
16:17 - Certainly not.
16:18 - That has happened.
16:18 - Certainly not.
16:19 - Where do you think Carol comes from?
16:20 - Give proof.
16:22 From Christmas.
16:24 They're not Christmas Caroline.
16:25 - I think there's also, you said Noel.
16:27 I think there are Noels.
16:28 - You think there's Noels?
16:29 - Yeah, I think there are.
16:30 Noel's a hot Instagram model name.
16:32 - Okay.
16:32 Yeah, there's probably not too many.
16:34 - I think there's some Noels out there.
16:35 - 77 and a half.
16:36 - Carols.
16:39 - No, Noels.
16:40 - Noels?
16:41 - In America?
16:41 - Same thing.
16:42 - It's thousands.
16:43 - We talking about my barstool tenure?
16:44 - Thousands of Noels.
16:46 - Nice joke, man.
16:47 - Thanks, man.
16:48 (laughing)
16:50 - Proceed?
16:54 - Oh, yeah, not until you give him his fist bump.
16:56 Let's see.
16:58 - That could've been bad.
16:59 It could've gone.
17:00 It could've gone the rest of the show.
17:02 - It started out rough.
17:03 - Smells like one of those Vis-a-Vis dry erase markers.
17:08 - What does?
17:09 His hand?
17:10 - The air.
17:11 That was probably my favorite dry erase.
17:13 - I think I just discovered I might have COVID.
17:15 - I don't have a good nose, so I can't smell.
17:17 - I smell the Vis-a-Vis.
17:18 - What else do you have?
17:20 - Don't got a good smeller.
17:21 - How are your eyes?
17:23 - Good eyes.
17:23 - Ears?
17:24 - Good ears.
17:25 - Good, good for you.
17:26 - Thank you.
17:28 - Dubai might have accidentally flooded their entire city.
17:31 So they received four and a half inches of rain.
17:33 The desert nation, not the dessert nation,
17:35 although I would--
17:36 - You're so fat.
17:37 (laughing)
17:38 - I would still move there if it was a desert nation.
17:40 - They got a dessert nation?
17:41 (laughing)
17:42 - The desert nation of the United Arab Emirates
17:45 experienced a historic weather event on Tuesday.
17:47 Five inches, six inches of rain in one day.
17:50 An average year in Dubai sees less than four inches
17:52 of rain in total.
17:53 The whole city's underwater, it's a disaster.
17:55 One possible reason for this,
17:57 Dubai practices something called cloud seeding,
18:00 where small planes operated by the government
18:02 fly through clouds burning special salt flares.
18:05 Those flares can increase--
18:07 (man speaking faintly)
18:10 Those flares can increase precipitation.
18:13 Basically Dubai can create their own rain.
18:15 Several reports that say that six or seven
18:18 cloud seeding flights occurred before the rain.
18:20 They might have flooded themselves.
18:22 They created their own rain
18:23 and they might have ruined everything.
18:24 - I didn't know that tech was there
18:25 where we could control weather.
18:28 - I knew Dubai had it, but why does only Dubai have it?
18:31 - I guess they're the ones that need the rain.
18:32 - They need the rain, but I feel like we like tech so much
18:37 that we would just create rain just to fucking do it.
18:39 - Yeah, I mean, yeah, it would probably help.
18:41 Ah, yeah.
18:42 - We got places in the UK. - I bet you were doing it.
18:43 I bet you were doing it.
18:44 - We're probably doing it.
18:45 Hey, Paige, we're probably doing it.
18:47 I don't know why I said hello to Paige.
18:50 Oh, what's up, buddy?
18:51 How you doing?
18:51 Yeah, all right.
18:52 I almost asked him if Sidney Sweeney was pretty, but--
18:56 - He knows.
18:57 He's like, "Yeah, that guy."
18:58 - That guy knows.
18:58 That guy?
18:59 - A tall glass of water?
19:00 - Let's see, final topics here.
19:03 We have OnlyFans models Bonnie Blue and Leilani Mei
19:08 made $250,000 sleeping with spring breakers in Cancun.
19:12 - They slept with like 122.
19:15 - 100, let's see, their goal was to sleep
19:18 with 100 spring breakers.
19:20 She revealed that she surpassed her goal
19:21 by sleeping with 122 guys.
19:23 - And they were charging it for it?
19:24 - Made a profit of $250,000.
19:27 - I don't know if that's worth it.
19:29 - All right, hold on, 122 and a 250K,
19:32 that's a little over two grand.
19:36 - Yeah.
19:37 - A little over two grand.
19:38 - My goodness, like--
19:38 - They just haven't seemed right.
19:40 - I don't know.
19:41 - Imagine pulling your ticket in the deli counter
19:44 and you're like 98, like that sucks.
19:46 - Yeah.
19:47 - And like--
19:48 - But when you--
19:49 - I don't think there's any fun in that for either party.
19:52 - When that sandwich comes out and you--
19:53 - I don't think there's any fun in that either party.
19:56 Call me prude.
19:57 - It probably looks like a roast beef.
19:58 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, deli counter.
20:01 Not for me.
20:03 - No, not for me either.
20:05 But for her, okay, say she sets out with a goal,
20:09 she's going to do 100 guys,
20:11 she's going to make 200 grand, okay?
20:13 She gets to like 99, 100,
20:17 instead of saying job's finished,
20:18 she says, you know what?
20:19 - Let's keep going.
20:20 - I got some more in me.
20:21 - Well, yeah.
20:22 - Eventually would.
20:23 - There has to be some sort of medical repercussion
20:26 or some sort of--
20:28 - Can pussies work like that?
20:29 - Communicable.
20:30 - Yeah.
20:33 - The pussy is a mysterious thing.
20:35 - I know, I know.
20:38 - Are you just flummoxed by the pussy?
20:43 - I'm flummoxed by the pussy.
20:45 - Let's see, we have the New York Fire Department,
20:47 New York Police Department Heroes Hockey Game this Saturday.
20:50 - Check with its production yet.
20:51 - 5 p.m. on barstool.tv.
20:55 Real quick, shout out to Stu Feiner,
20:57 his father passed away last night.
20:59 - Very sad, yeah.
20:59 - RIP to the godfather.
21:01 Howie Feiner, Stu, our thoughts are with you as well.
21:04 You're an awesome guy.
21:06 And condolences for the loss of your dad.
21:09 That was nice.
21:10 - Is that how you're ending this whole thing?
21:11 - And now Chef Donnie is opening up
21:13 a pop-up restaurant this summer.
21:14 - Really cool.
21:15 - Chef Donnie, not over there.
21:20 What does that mean, a pop-up restaurant?
21:21 - Non-permanent.
21:22 - Non-permanent.
21:23 - So he's going to be--
21:24 - So he's taking over a space.
21:25 - Residency in a kitchen.
21:26 - He's taking over a space for a couple months.
21:27 You can come to his pop-up restaurant.
21:29 - That's right.
21:29 - I think it's in June and July,
21:30 maybe in May and June, I don't know.
21:31 - Maybe so.
21:32 - But it's coming up soon.
21:33 He tweeted about it.
21:34 - Culmination of all his travels and experiences,
21:37 I think especially in France,
21:38 this past summer in France.
21:40 We've all eaten his food.
21:41 - Most people here at this company are full of shit.
21:44 When we say Chef Donnie can fucking cook,
21:47 that motherfucker can cook.
21:48 - Yeah.
21:49 - It is very, very good.
21:50 The pop-up restaurant's going to be very,
21:51 you should try it if you're in Chicago area.
21:54 It's in Chicago, right?
21:55 - Yeah, I think you can make reservations now.
21:57 - So go to Chef Donnie's pop-up, you'll enjoy it.
22:00 And RIP Stew's dad.
22:01 - Dessert nation?
22:06 - Anything?
22:06 - That's the only way we can get you to the Middle East.
22:08 (laughing)
22:10 - Get over there?
22:10 - Yeah.
22:11 - What the fuck?
22:12 (laughing)
22:13 - What's your favorite dessert?
22:14 - Banana pudding.
22:15 - Me too.
22:16 - Yeah, banana pudding.
22:17 - With vanilla wafers on the top?
22:18 - Oh yeah.
22:19 - Oh.
22:20 - And you let them in there for a while,
22:21 and they get a little soft.
22:22 - Two southern boys right here.
22:23 - Yeah, you know, when I first started,
22:25 Big Cat made fun of me 'cause banana pudding,
22:27 he said, "That's nobody's favorite dessert."
22:28 - Great dessert.
22:29 - Two people.
22:30 - Huh?
22:31 - Two people.
22:32 - It's a southern, you know, and West Virginia, I guess.
22:35 What's your favorite dessert?
22:36 - Carrot cake.
22:37 - What?
22:38 - Yeah, I like carrot cake.
22:39 - Fuck you to death.
22:40 - You're not real.
22:41 - Well, I like carrot cake.
22:41 - How's carrot cake your favorite dessert?
22:43 - I don't know, it's good.
22:45 I like carrot cake.
22:46 I like ice cream.
22:49 I like chocolate cake.
22:51 Oh, turtle cake.
22:52 - Turtle cake, that was right there.
22:53 - I thought that was a birthday thing.
22:55 - Yeah, that is, it's not every day.
22:56 I don't know, what's wrong with turtle?
22:58 - Nobody's telling me it's wrong.
22:59 - What's wrong with carrot cake?
23:01 - It's bad, it's made of carrot.
23:02 - It's, of all the cake options, it's low on the list.
23:06 - Ooh, red velvet's good,
23:07 but I don't like anything with whipped cream.
23:09 Can't do whipped cream, whipped cream's nasty.
23:11 - I like devil's food.
23:12 - I like whipped cream.
23:13 - Do you?
23:14 - I hate whipped cream.
23:15 - Sometimes I'll take the can and just right in my mouth.
23:16 - I hate it.
23:17 - Without the cream.
23:18 - Yeah.
23:18 - I detest that.
23:20 Lukey would do it.
23:21 - Lukey?
23:23 - Lukey would do it.
23:24 - That's classic.
23:25 - With the whipped cream, hated it.
23:26 - So I noticed your family, Markey your dad,
23:30 Lukey your brother, your name doesn't work.
23:32 - I think it's still Liam.
23:33 - Liam-y doesn't work.
23:35 - Lemur was--
23:35 - You're describing something.
23:36 - Lemur was used.
23:38 - You were Lemur?
23:39 - Lee.
23:40 - Lee?
23:41 - I don't really like that though.
23:42 Liam, Liam works.
23:43 - Do you think your dad regrets naming you Liam
23:45 instead of like something that could have been
23:47 like Lukey, Markey, he could have had a third.
23:49 - It doesn't really work for you.
23:51 I don't think Brandy flies.
23:52 - Uncle Kenny is Coco.
23:54 - Why is Uncle Kenny Coco?
23:55 - Something with Lukey when he was like a year or two old.
23:57 - Something with Lukey.
23:58 - Yeah.
23:59 I don't know.
24:00 - I gotta meet this Lukey.
24:01 I have met this Lukey.
24:02 - You'll meet him?
24:03 - Yeah, he's coming in.
24:04 - I've met Lukey before.
24:05 - Lukey's here next week.
24:06 - For what?
24:07 Lukey helps Anus?
24:07 - Yeah.
24:08 - So the Blutmans all work here.
24:12 - Yeah.
24:13 - No.
24:14 - Who doesn't?
24:15 - Cousin Alex.
24:16 - We trying?
24:17 - No.
24:18 You guys aren't laying cousin Alex.
24:21 - Why, what's cousin Alex doing?
24:22 - Like law stuff.
24:24 Went to Duke and Harvard.
24:25 - Oh, law stuff.
24:26 - Like the show.
24:28 - Oh no, that show's long gone.
24:31 - What, huh?
24:32 - Show's long gone.
24:32 - It is.
24:33 - I mean, you could be living off the lost residuals.
24:36 - You could, I guess.
24:37 - There's certainly a cult following of Lost even today.
24:39 - What's Hurley up to?
24:41 He was the cover of that Weezer album,
24:42 but that's the last thing I remember.
24:43 - Yeah, what, how about Kate?
24:45 Evangeline Lilly hasn't done much.
24:46 - She was the wasp in Ant-Man.
24:48 She was a wonderful girl.
24:49 - And Sawyer, he's shown up on some things.
24:51 - He was in like Community.
24:53 - Yeah.
24:54 - Jack hasn't been on many things, has he?
24:56 - We Are Marshall.
24:58 - Yeah, that was 20 years ago itself.
25:00 - Yeah.
25:02 - All right, anything else?
25:03 - No, but your guys' knowledge of filmography is impressive.
25:07 - Oh, thank you.
25:07 - We named four shows.
25:08 - Yep, we named four shows.
25:09 - Barstool Film Fest starts today.
25:11 - Yeah, it does.
25:12 - Right after Yak.
25:14 - Right after Yak, we're gonna be hammering that.
25:16 - Drafting, teams are pretty even.
25:18 - No, I feel really sorry for all of you guys.
25:20 I'm on KB's team.
25:22 - And you think y'all are gonna wax?
25:23 - I apologize for the shellacking that is on the horizon.
25:27 - I think we got a pretty good squad over here.
25:29 - Yeah, you think that now.
25:30 - Team Nick is pretty strong.
25:31 - It's got me?
25:33 - Mm-hmm.
25:35 - Oh, shoot, you guys are loathing.
25:37 (laughing)
25:38 Holy.
25:39 - No, we got Pat, we got Fasoli, Brandon, we have Vince.
25:44 We should get the first pick.
25:47 - I thought we had a better team than we did
25:50 until you said it out loud.
25:50 - No, we're partners.
25:52 - No, we got Nicky Smokes.
25:53 - We got Nicky Smokes.
25:54 - Eh, what's he gonna do?
25:56 - All right, it's a rundown.
25:58 (whooshing)
26:01 [BLANK_AUDIO]