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AmusantTranscription
00:00Oh mon dieu, Sonya ! J'ai-je dit ce que Blake a fait pour Gwen ce week-end ?
00:04Laissez-moi imaginer. Un autre geste aimable ?
00:06Il lui a fait son déjeuner au lit.
00:09C'était B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
00:12C'est une de ses chansons.
00:13Et il lui a fait ses pancakes bananes aussi.
00:16Hey, ont-ils jamais puté sur ces chaises ?
00:19Sonya, bien sûr.
00:21Oh mon dieu, j'adore être un putain d'amour !
00:24C'est un déjeuner.
00:25Walter, celui-là c'est pour toi.
00:27Merci, Emmy.
00:28Oh, tu as l'air de chipper ce matin.
00:30J'ai rencontré un gremlin sur le train et on va avoir des negronis plus tard.
00:33Je ne peux pas, elle était 45 minutes en retard aujourd'hui.
00:35Oh, un nouvel assignement !
00:37L'amour est dans l'air, Bridgeton Middle.
00:39Oh, l'amour jeune, c'est si pur, c'est si passionnant, c'est...
00:43C'est si détaché.
00:44Les enfants, ces jours-ci, sont toujours sur leurs téléphones.
00:46Ils préfèrent en tweeter sur leurs cellules.
00:48C'est la vie.
00:49C'est la vie.
00:50C'est la vie.
00:51C'est la vie.
00:52C'est la vie.
00:53C'est la vie.
00:54C'est la vie.
00:55C'est la vie.
00:56C'est la vie.
00:57C'est la vie.
00:58C'est la vie.
00:59C'est la vie.
01:00C'est la vie.
01:01C'est la vie.
01:02C'est la vie.
01:03C'est la vie.
01:04C'est la vie.
01:05C'est la vie.
01:06C'est la vie.
01:07C'est la vie.
01:08C'est la vie.
01:09C'est la vie.
01:10C'est la vie.
01:11C'est la vie.
01:12C'est la vie.
01:13C'est la vie.
01:14C'est la vie.
01:15C'est la vie.
01:16C'est la vie.
01:17C'est la vie.
01:18C'est la vie.
01:19C'est la vie.
01:20C'est la vie.
01:21C'est la vie.
01:22C'est la vie.
01:23C'est la vie.
01:24C'est la vie.
01:25C'est la vie.
01:26C'est la vie.
01:27C'est la vie.
01:28C'est la vie.
01:29C'est la vie.
01:30C'est la vie.
01:31C'est la vie.
01:32C'est la vie.
01:33C'est la vie.
01:34C'est la vie.
01:35C'est la vie.
01:36C'est la vie.
01:37C'est la vie.
01:38C'est la vie.
01:39C'est la vie.
01:40C'est la vie.
01:41C'est la vie.
01:42C'est la vie.
01:43C'est la vie.
01:44C'est la vie.
01:45C'est la vie.
01:46C'est la vie.
01:48Okay, Jay and Charles, it's your turn to hug each other on the floor.
01:53Heads up, sometimes when I wrestle, I black out.
01:55Because my brothers teabagged me my senior year of kindergarten.
01:58Okay, I'm feeling very self-conscious in this tight little singlet, Maury.
02:03I mean, my messed up dingle hasn't even healed yet.
02:06Yeah, but that ass.
02:07What?
02:08You talking about this ass?
02:09Dig that little blimp on a trip around the world for everybody.
02:12Oh, like this?
02:13Yeah, put on a show, baby.
02:15I could do this all day.
02:17Me too.
02:18I just have a haircut at 4.30 that I can't miss.
02:20Wow, Maury, you are right.
02:22This singlet really shapes my bulbous ass.
02:26Well, that's new.
02:27Now you see me.
02:29Now you don't.
02:32That's the end.
02:33Hey, what was that move?
02:34You mean my full body sleight of hand?
02:36Fucking magic, obviously.
02:37Magic? Tight.
02:38Are you making fun of me?
02:39Because I will have a teabagging flashback right here, right now.
02:43I'm not playing.
02:44Magic's cool.
02:45Cool? Really?
02:49Wow, you really prepared.
02:50Well, it is the first meeting of my affinity group,
02:52I mean, everyone's affinity group, that I organized.
02:55And I am the head of...
02:56Hey, Nick, what are you doing here?
02:58Where are the allies supposed to go?
02:59You are so smooth, man.
03:01You are like a dolphin at work at the lotion factory.
03:04Oh, dear lord, he's with Rick?
03:06I thought Rick retired.
03:07I thought Rick died.
03:09Okay, welcome everybody.
03:11I would like us to think of this meeting as a serious partay,
03:14but instead of cheese doodles,
03:16it's issues we'll be munching on.
03:18You can't eat issues.
03:20As our first project, I'd like to propose
03:22we do something about Bridgeton's highly problematic mascot,
03:25the Scheming Gypsy.
03:27There's a statue of the Scheming Gypsy on the South Lawn.
03:30A hawk lives in her bosom.
03:32Holy shit, that's what the mascot is?
03:34I thought it was Stephen Van Zandt from the E Street Band.
03:36I know, can you believe that shit?
03:38If you believe it, I do, because I believe women.
03:40Okay, you're cute for trying.
03:42Oh, cute? I don't know if I'd use that word,
03:44but you already did, so...
03:46Sonia, I think Nick might be Goo Goo Gaga for Jesse.
03:50You never know until you glue.
03:52This mascot is fucked. How do we get rid of it?
03:54Uh, if you refer to your handout,
03:56I actually have a 20-point plan.
03:58Guys, there's a wrestling meet tomorrow.
04:00We should do a protest there.
04:01I think Jesse's super right.
04:02Yeah, we need to surprise attack those fuckers.
04:05Guys, a surprise attack was not part of my plan.
04:07And again, I direct you to the handout.
04:09Then let's revise the plan.
04:11It's hard to revise the plan
04:12when you haven't even heard the plan, Ally.
04:14Missy, do you want change or not?
04:15It's 4.30 p.m., Mori is getting his hair cut.
04:18Of course I want change, but...
04:20All right, so, let's take a vote.
04:21Who wants to protest tomorrow?
04:23I protest this abandonment of procedure.
04:26Great, it's settled. Let's fuck shit up.
04:28Yeah, let's get balls deep, Glazer.
04:30Yes, please.
04:31Does no one want to hear my plan?
04:34You are crestfallen.
04:36Please confirm.
04:37Confirmed.
04:38Hey, that was awesome.
04:39What do we do next?
04:40Well, I'm going over to Ally's tonight to make posters.
04:42You should come.
04:43You really?
04:44Yeah.
04:45Yeah, great.
04:46I have this insane collection of markers
04:47because I once told my grandma that I like to draw
04:49and now she sends me a pack every few months
04:51because she has dementia.
04:53Okay.
04:54I don't know why I feel comfortable
04:55sharing this with you.
04:56Anyway, one thing, Jesse, you should know about me
04:58is that I have a lot of markers.
04:59Oh, here we glow.
05:02It's pulsating through my butthole
05:04and tingling up my spine.
05:06I know what it feels like, Walter.
05:08But the audience does it.
05:09Honey, I'm trying to paint a picture here.
05:10Okay, sorry.
05:11All right, Nick, I'll see you
05:12in your many, many markers tonight.
05:14Okay.
05:15I already know I'm going to forget the markers.
05:17Isn't she remarkable?
05:19Oh, hi.
05:20Who are you?
05:21I'm Walter, your love bug,
05:23and I'm here because you are in love with Jesse.
05:25What? No, I'm not.
05:26I just like her more than anyone I've ever liked before ever.
05:29Shut up.
05:30Oh, baby boy, if you didn't love her,
05:32I wouldn't be here.
05:33What do you mean?
05:34You're a kissing threat.
05:35No, falling in love is a bad rejection.
05:38I didn't mean you wrong.
05:39Don't try to act like you imagine things the other way
05:43when you all know they're no good for you,
05:45Let me tell you the real truth.
05:47I'll make you feel the same.
05:50We're 37 years old moon scene for a short film.
05:53I know I'm not amazing...
05:58Well, you are!
05:59Yes, I'm going to appreciate the assistance
06:01J'ai l'impression que tu as fait un énorme coup de foudre
06:03Peut-être, mais je ne le saurais pas
06:06Ce que je te demande, mon ami, c'est est-ce que tu ressens l'amour ?
06:09Je pense que je ressens l'amour
06:11Est-ce que tu veux que je tue ses cheveux et qu'il s'éloigne de sa tête ?
06:15Bien sûr !
06:16Parce qu'il y a un bruit dans ton cerveau et les lumières sont allumées
06:19Tout le temps !
06:20On pourrait être folle
06:22Si il y a un tumeur grandissant dans ton cerveau
06:24Attends, qu'est-ce ?
06:25Mais plus probablement, mon garçon, tu es dans le frigo de la passion
06:28Je pense que c'est la passion !
06:29Est-ce que tu sens un bruit frais ?
06:31Un petit bruit qui s'éloigne de ta tête
06:33Oh, dis-moi, dis-moi, mon ami, est-ce que tu ressens l'amour ?
06:37J'ressens l'amour
06:38Est-ce que tu ressens l'amour ?
06:39J'ressens l'amour
06:40Est-ce que tu sens...
06:42dans tes ondes noirces ?
06:43Je la ressens
06:44bundle dans tes épaules ?
06:45Je la ressens
06:46Dans tes mentallye soupy ?
06:47Je le ressens
06:48Dans tes épaules en trochę ?
06:49Est-ce que tu ressens l'amour ?
06:51Je la ressens
06:53Oui, je ressens l'amour
06:57Putain
06:58Putain, je suis amoureux de Jesse.
07:00Ta-da !
07:01Alors j'ai dit, père Joseph, je comprends que tu es marié à Dieu,
07:04mais un bon mari ne laisserait jamais son partenaire porter cette tenue.
07:07Ah ah ah ah, c'est hilarant.
07:09Hey Matt, tu te souviens quand Jay consensuellement nous a montré son c**** ?
07:13Oui, je me souviens.
07:14Eh bien, j'ai trouvé ça très agréable.
07:16Eh bien, tu fermes ta gueule !
07:16Alors, je sais qu'on a dit pas de cadeaux pour notre anniversaire de 9 mois,
07:20mais on aime tous les choses, donc je t'ai acheté un truc.
07:22Oh mon dieu, un écran photo numérique !
07:25C'est stupide, mais ça coûte beaucoup d'argent, donc c'est cool.
07:28Tu sais ce qui est stupide ? Pas d'argent. Jay a un c****.
07:31Alors c'est cool.
07:32Je t'ai en fait acheté quelque chose aussi.
07:34C'est une tenue ?
07:36Oui, il veut que tu ressembles à Jay.
07:38Tout d'abord, c'est la tenue, puis une circoncision inverse.
07:40On prend un morceau de...
07:41C'est pas ce qui se passe ici.
07:42Je pensais que tu serais mignon dans ça.
07:44Mets-le.
07:45Ok, wow, tu as raison, je me ressemble bien dans ça.
07:48Oui, plutôt bien.
07:49Aiden me rappelle Snoopy quand il porte des lunettes.
07:52Oui, il a l'air sympa, mais ça ne veut pas dire que tu veux lui faire un c****.
07:55Ok, le mien va dire...
07:57Hashtag Romani se retrouve.
07:59Elle est drôle, tu ne m'as pas dit à quel point elle était drôle.
08:02Je ne l'ai pas dit ?
08:03Non, tu ne l'as pas dit.
08:04Oh non, elle est drôle.
08:05Elle est juste naturellement drôle, tout en restant son état d'esprit.
08:08Oh, et elle-même, c'est aussi charmant qu'un chien avec des chaussures.
08:13Je ne sais pas ce que c'est.
08:14Tu n'as jamais vu un chien avec des chaussures ?
08:15Non.
08:16C'est mignon.
08:16C'est charmant.
08:17Jesse, as-tu su qu'Ali a un de ces toilettes modernes ?
08:20C'est un vrai plaisir de m****r dans sa maison.
08:23Connie ?
08:24Mon dieu, c'est tellement bien de te voir.
08:26Sonia !
08:26Qu'est-ce que tu es en train de faire ?
08:28Oh, tu sais, ça et ça, tu m'en fous.
08:31Je ne serais pas surpris.
08:32Attends, tu es là pour Jesse ?
08:34Tu es sûre que je suis ton cul propre.
08:35Du poivre chaud et un paire de poignets.
08:38Jesse va être en amour ?
08:39Qui est-ce ? Ne me le dis pas.
08:40Oh, c'est Judd ?
08:41Oh, je ne sais pas, je n'ai pas rencontré Judd.
08:43Oh, mais tu m'as rencontré, Judd.
08:45Et tu dois utiliser les toilettes d'Ali.
08:47J'ai pris une ch***e chaude et je l'ai ouvert.
08:49Ok, je pense que je vais écrire « Pas mon mascotte ».
08:51Ok, j'adore ça.
08:52Tu as une bonne manière d'écrire pour un garçon.
08:54Et si jamais tu laisses tes poignets s'éloigner, je vais me tuer.
08:57Eh bien, je pense que je vais continuer à éloigner mes poignets.
08:59Eh bien, je pense que je ne me tirerai pas du bâtiment.
09:00Eh bien, je ne pense pas.
09:01Oh mon dieu, vous deux, achetez une pièce.
09:03Quoi ?
09:04Arrêtez-le.
09:04Oh mon dieu, s'il vous plaît.
09:05Quelle pièce ?
09:06Quelle pièce pourrions-nous avoir ?
09:07Leur attraction à l'un l'autre est appelée par une pierre.
09:10S'il vous plaît, ne vous en faites pas, Walter.
09:11Vous ne pouvez pas vous en faire quand il s'agit de Jessie Glaser.
09:14Elle est aussi mignonne qu'une écureuille dans un masque d'acornes.
09:17Zip, zap, ce n'est pas un chat.
09:18C'est une petite écureuille dans un masque d'acornes.
09:21Elle a écrit un spell sur nous.
09:23J'adore mon boulot.
09:25Si vous vous rejoignez, bienvenue à « Wrestling »,
09:27le sport le plus gay sur la planète.
09:29Les sports ne peuvent pas être gays ou straits.
09:31Hilarique.
09:32Et faux.
09:33Pour le premier match, nous avons Andrew Globberman qui...
09:36Oui, il a été immédiatement piné.
09:38Parfaitement satisfait de toutes les expectations.
09:40Hey, Andrew, je suis venu te regarder.
09:42T'es tellement un perdant.
09:43Oui, mais tu sais qui gagne ?
09:45La foule.
09:46Cette écureuille est juste à la bonne place, bébé.
09:49Voici notre mascotte préférée,
09:51le Gypsy en ski !
09:53Oh oh, je regarde dans mon ballon de Crystal pour voir l'avenir.
09:58Putain de merde.
09:59C'est vraiment offensif.
10:01Gypsy, Gypsy, qu'est-ce que tu vois ?
10:03Je vois Charles Liu avec une victoire !
10:06Victoire !
10:07Et je vois Jay mourir seul de se battre contre son frère Gonad.
10:10Gonad !
10:11Les gens ne savent même pas que nous protestons.
10:13Ils pensent juste que nous regardons le match de wrestling.
10:15Ok, les gars, nous devons faire quelque chose.
10:17Oh, merde.
10:18Regardez, Matthew,
10:19mes nœuds sont tous pliés sur ma jambe.
10:22Oh.
10:23Zip, zap, plié, sac.
10:25Tu veux prendre Jay de l'arrière.
10:27De l'arrière à l'arrière.
10:29Check his snacky, he's come for a snack, Navarro !
10:33I don't like this mat.
10:36I don't like the mat.
10:38You used my move !
10:40That was amazing.
10:41You know any more wrestling magic ?
10:43Fuck yeah, I know more wrestling magic !
10:45Ok, Charles Liu, feel free to join me at Panera after the meet
10:48and bring your sense of fucking wonderment.
10:50Sick, I love bread.
10:52Pop it, lock it, pick the pocket.
10:54Ok, that is enough.
10:56We are going down there.
10:56Non, c'est une protestation pacifique.
10:59Fuck peaceful !
11:00Ces deux mots ne vont pas ensemble.
11:01Hey, hey, ho, ho,
11:03this racist mascot's got to go !
11:06Yes, look around,
11:06everyone is so annoyed and confused.
11:08It's working.
11:09Oh my god, Nick,
11:10we're being the change we want to see in the gym.
11:12Sweet mercy, she's touching your arm.
11:15Isn't it exhilarating ?
11:16Yeah, I can barely breathe.
11:18Hey, hey, ho, ho,
11:19fuck all you guys !
11:21Oh, look at you all fired up.
11:22I like the sign of you, Nicholas Birch.
11:24Yeah, Nicholas,
11:25like a fucking man, not a kid.
11:27Wow, wow, wow,
11:28we're not getting rid of our mascot.
11:30I feel represented by the gypsy.
11:31What ?
11:32You're not even Romani.
11:33But I'm a schemer.
11:34I come from a long line of schemers.
11:36We scheme and scheme
11:38until we can't schemes no more.
11:40I'm with the feral boy.
11:42Some things are wrong,
11:43but if they're wrong for long enough,
11:45they become tradition.
11:46But it's a bad tradition
11:48that needs to be changed.
11:49What's next,
11:49you gonna change the Braves or the Chiefs
11:52or my mom wiping me ?
11:53Yeah, all those things.
11:55But we're on a winning streak.
11:56Yeah, can it at least wait
11:57till after the season ?
11:58That's what I've been saying, Devon.
12:00This is a lengthy process.
12:02Missy, whose side are you on ?
12:03Jesse, we tried it your way
12:05and it failed.
12:05It didn't fail.
12:06This is how it starts.
12:07Ladies, ladies,
12:08there's no need to fight.
12:10The solution you seek
12:11is these tasty cheeks.
12:13Those cheeks.
12:14That ass.
12:14Parmesan will not pass.
12:18Turn off the camera.
12:20That was fucking wild.
12:22Right ?
12:22Uh-oh, caught in the act.
12:24Dehydrating pineapple.
12:25Oh, I'm so sorry.
12:25Let's go to my room.
12:26Wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on.
12:27Who's your friend ?
12:29I would like to meet her.
12:30Oh, my God.
12:30Hey, Mr. Glazer, I'm Allie.
12:31Or just pass and throw.
12:32We're just trying to do big things
12:33like overturn a mascot.
12:35Well, if you need some sustenance,
12:36here's a bag of
12:36Daddy Greg's pineapple chews.
12:38Ew, they look like
12:39dried up little buttholes.
12:40I wish my butt tasted this sweet.
12:42Dad !
12:42Oh, he's so embarrassing.
12:44My dad's embarrassing too.
12:45He wears true religion jeans.
12:47He sounds cool.
12:48Is he looking for male friends ?
12:49Bye, dad.
12:50Hey, Jesse, you have my info, right ?
12:51To pass along to Allie's dad ?
12:53Hey, guys.
12:54I need to make weight for wrestling
12:55and I have a nine-pound parasite
12:57living in my guts.
12:58But here's the thing.
12:59We become very dear friends.
13:01So I want him out of my body
13:03but not out of my life.
13:05Any suggestions ?
13:06What in sweet fucking Joseph
13:07is wrong with him ?
13:08Nothing.
13:08He just doesn't want to lose a friend.
13:10Jay is, to me,
13:11a very special person.
13:12Why do you like him so much ?
13:14Because he's uninhibited,
13:16unwashed, uncut
13:17and he's got that funk
13:18to make you junk spunk.
13:19But Aiden, he's smart.
13:21He's kind.
13:22He likes me.
13:23Well, of recent.
13:24Aiden gives you mushy peepee.
13:26You need to ditch him.
13:27Oh, stop it.
13:28I'm not breaking up with Aiden.
13:29You never take any of my advice
13:31and I have good ideas.
13:32I'm not dumb.
13:33Oh, Maury.
13:33No, I don't want to talk right now.
13:35I'm going for a run.
13:37Charles Liu, prepare to have your dick
13:39blown off your body
13:40by the sorcerers of the square table.
13:43Smoke bomb !
13:51Ta-da !
13:52Wow, fire.
13:54Your friend is so cool, Jay.
13:55Yeah, no shit, Todd !
13:57He's only the number one kid in our grade
13:59and he's hanging out with me !
14:01Listen, sweetie.
14:02I am carbo-loading this juicy wide roundy.
14:05So why don't you get me
14:07one of everything on the menu ?
14:08That's right, Andy.
14:09Feed your curves that they may expand.
14:12Sir, I'm not sure that fat ass
14:14can get any fatter,
14:15but I'm willing to go on the journey with you.
14:16Well, I'm not sure I'm going to be able
14:18to do that.
14:19But I'm willing to go on the journey with you.
14:21Well, then, away we go.
14:25So, you and Samira,
14:26didn't see that coming.
14:27I know, I know.
14:28I'm loud, she's super quiet,
14:30but Samira's actually really deep.
14:32Really ?
14:32And she looks like an old colonial ghost.
14:34Huh, and that makes me horny.
14:35Yeah, I get that, I see that.
14:36What about you ?
14:36Who do you like ?
14:37Oh, God, no, I can't.
14:38I share, you share.
14:40Oh, let's tell her about John.
14:42How you stole his shirt
14:43and how you floss your va-jine-jine
14:44with it every night.
14:45No, thank you.
14:46Come on, we're all girlfriends here, right ?
14:48We like to pinch each other's nipples.
14:49Come on, tell her.
14:50Okay, you know Nick's brother, Judd.
14:52Well, I'm kind of into him.
14:54I know !
14:55He is so hot.
14:56Right ?
14:56Well, in a weird serial killer kind of way.
14:58Okay, so the other day,
15:00I stole this from his house.
15:01You're a little psycho, Jessie.
15:03Am I ?
15:03I bet you floss your snatch
15:05with it every night.
15:05She knows !
15:06Okay, only that at once.
15:08I mean, God, to be honest,
15:10I actually thought you liked Nick.
15:11Really ?
15:11You guys have like chemistry.
15:12We do ?
15:13Kimmy-cuss, as they say in Espanol.
15:15I mean, we've always just been friends.
15:17Who knows, in a couple of years,
15:18Nick might look just like Judd.
15:19What's that now ?
15:20Wow, I never even thought about that point of view.
15:22By short, sell tall.
15:23Sonia, is that why you're here ?
15:25Jessie and Nick ?
15:26Are they Ross and Rachel ?
15:27You know, I didn't watch Friends.
15:29I guess I was too busy.
15:31Fucking your mom.
15:32Okay, you know what ?
15:33My mom has passed,
15:34so why don't you shut the fuck up ?
15:35Hey, Missy just texted us.
15:37Good news,
15:38I got us a meeting with the school board
15:39in six months ?
15:40Fuck that shit,
15:41we have to do something right now.
15:42Yeah !
15:42Let's go knock down that racist statue.
15:44Yes !
15:44I'm all hopped up on your dad's
15:46pineapple buttholes.
15:47Oh my god, Allie !
15:48Sorry !
15:48Whatever, let's just go !
15:49Let's go !
15:49We're going !
15:50Guys, I really think I have some momentum with Jessie.
15:52All righty !
15:53The big moment.
15:54You should have heard the way she said his name,
15:57Nicholas Birch.
15:58Yeah, she likes the taste of my name in her mouth.
16:03Nick, what you need now is a grand gesture.
16:06When I liked a girl,
16:07I'd write her a song,
16:08or buy her a pair of gloves
16:10that go all the way up to her armpits,
16:12and then smell the gloves while she slept.
16:16I don't know, a grand gesture seems kind of risky.
16:18But think of all you have to gain.
16:20Okay, I've done some quick oil paintings
16:22projecting your future.
16:23Jessie at Columbia.
16:24She worked hard, good for her.
16:26You at NYU,
16:27probably on some kind of comedy scholarship.
16:30I learned different.
16:30You'll meet halfway in Times Square,
16:32get married,
16:34make a bunch of babies in Miami.
16:36Wow, that's exactly as I pictured it too.
16:38I'm in, Walter.
16:39Let's make a grand gesture
16:41for the heart of Jessie Glazer.
16:43Well said, Bickalice-nerd.
16:45Oh, that's my line.
16:46All right, I'm in the mood.
16:51Jeez, this thing's really a statue, huh?
16:53Do you have any chains
16:54and a pickup truck by any chance?
16:55There's a lime scooter over there.
16:57What if we throw the scooter
16:58as hard as we can at the statue?
16:59Oh my God, great idea.
17:00We're gonna kill the statue.
17:02I feel crazy right now, Jessie.
17:03I do too.
17:04I think it's all the fucking pineapple.
17:05Oh, it's so heavy.
17:07Did you just fart?
17:08No, it was the statue.
17:10We better knock that bitch over
17:11before she shits on the ground.
17:13Okay.
17:15Oh, we're so bad.
17:17Um, the crystal ball looks loose.
17:19Should we fucking kick it?
17:20Let me hold your shoulder
17:21and I'll fucking nail it in my heel.
17:24I'm so sorry.
17:25I think it's the pineapple.
17:26Okay, enough of this bullshit.
17:29You have freed me from my curse.
17:31I'm a man again.
17:33Thank you.
17:33Wait, he's still a hawk, right?
17:35Yeah, but don't tell him.
17:36He seems so happy.
17:37Freeze there, fuckos.
17:38Oh, shit.
17:39You're under arrest
17:40for destruction of property
17:41here, there, over there,
17:42actually right here.
17:43I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
17:46Jesus Christ, that smells sweet.
17:48On my aunt's grave,
17:49who I loved like a mother,
17:51those girl farts smell
17:52like a piña colada.
17:53It's the pineapple.
17:57Um, if you're just gonna be
17:58on your phone all night,
17:59then we don't have to hang out.
18:00Whoa, I was just seeing
18:01what time it was.
18:02Is something wrong?
18:03No.
18:03Why are you always asking me that?
18:04Um, I have literally
18:06never asked you that before.
18:07I guess I just feel like
18:09you're always at my ass
18:10about everything.
18:10Man, I'm confused.
18:12What's your game here?
18:12And by the way,
18:13why would you put that
18:14hideous photo of me in there?
18:16Is that what you think I look like?
18:17What is your problem?
18:18You're being kind of psycho.
18:19Are you...
18:20I'm sorry.
18:21Are you breaking up with me?
18:22Oh, I see what you're doing.
18:24You're inceptioning him
18:26to dump you.
18:27Genius.
18:27I don't know what the hell
18:28you're talking about, Matthew.
18:29Well, obviously,
18:30you don't want to be with me
18:31if you think I'm such a psycho.
18:33Wait a minute.
18:33Are you trying to get me
18:35to break up with you?
18:36What?
18:36What does that even mean?
18:37Oh, my God.
18:38You are.
18:39You are such a fucking coward.
18:41If I'm a fucking coward,
18:42maybe you should just continue
18:44dumping me.
18:44You're right in the middle of it.
18:46You're almost done.
18:47No, no, no.
18:48You are dumping me.
18:49That's so funny
18:49because it feels
18:51like you're dumping me.
18:52You know what?
18:53Screw this.
18:53I'm out of here.
18:54And for the record,
18:55you dumped me.
18:55You just weren't brave enough
18:56to actually do it.
18:58Which, after all this time,
18:59is really fucked up.
19:02I'm such a dick.
19:03Sure, you're sad.
19:04I'm sad too.
19:06But not really.
19:06Not even at all
19:07because now you can go after Jay.
19:10Huh.
19:10I guess I can.
19:11Hey, hey.
19:12Jay's home.
19:12The kiss has to stroke his pole.
19:14Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
19:15Ooh, it's tearing.
19:16That was dope.
19:17Those magic guys are cool.
19:18And what's really cool
19:19is they're, like,
19:20always available.
19:21You can hit them up
19:22on their beepers
19:23day and night.
19:24Tight.
19:24Hey, you know any more
19:26wrestling magic?
19:26Hell yeah, I do.
19:27Get in here, Charles Liu.
19:35Oh, whoa.
19:37Later, dude.
19:38Oh, shit.
19:39My dick is levitating.
19:41Oh, Maury,
19:42I don't feel so good.
19:43Yeah, no shit.
19:44You just powered down
19:45like six clam chowder bread bowls.
19:48I think I'm gonna shit
19:49my goddamn singlet.
19:50Uh, okay.
19:51Hi.
19:51What's the code
19:52for the bathroom, good sir?
19:53673-
19:54What now?
19:55908-
19:55Six.
19:56One more shot.
19:57What the fuck?
19:57One more time.
19:58Oh, fuck you.
19:59Fuck your door.
20:00Oh, no, lady.
20:01You're not gonna want
20:02to be here for this.
20:03My pocketbook!
20:04It's fine.
20:05I'm not sure
20:05I'm gonna make it, Maury.
20:07It's gonna be one of those
20:08where you're shitting
20:09as you're sitting down.
20:10One of those?
20:11Oh, my God.
20:11My singlet.
20:12I can't get it off.
20:13Rip that thing
20:13from bow to sir!
20:14Take good notice of baby.
20:17Buzzer beater.
20:18Oh, you're shitting
20:19as you're sitting down.
20:20Yes, okay.
20:21Yeah, I've done that.
20:22All right, girls.
20:23After all the rigamarole,
20:24we're letting you off
20:25with a warning.
20:26But for all that's good
20:27and holy,
20:28lay off the pineapple.
20:29We're gonna have to fumigate
20:30our squad car.
20:31Yes, sir.
20:31I'm sorry we farted
20:32and broke a crystal ball.
20:35Well, they don't seem
20:35sorry at all, do they?
20:36It's all giggles and bullshit
20:38till someone dies.
20:40Well, obviously,
20:41you're grounded.
20:42I know,
20:43but it was totally worth it.
20:44And he is a blast.
20:45You guys should rob
20:46a bank together.
20:47It's just so nice
20:48to have a new friend
20:49that makes me feel good
20:50and doesn't, like,
20:51jack off in front of me.
20:52Speaking of,
20:53is that Andrew
20:54wearing a bread ball
20:55on his butt?
20:56Hey, Jesse!
20:57You're probably asking yourself,
20:59why is Andrew
20:59wearing a rustic loaf
21:00over his sweet fat cam?
21:02You see?
21:03Hey, no, no, no, no, wait!
21:04Can I get a ride home?
21:05Oh, my underbreads.
21:07What?
21:09Hey!
21:10Hey!
21:10Hi!
21:11Hey, Nick!
21:11Um...
21:12What are you doing
21:12outside of my house?
21:13I, uh...
21:14Give me five minutes, Jess,
21:15but only because
21:15Nick has an acoustic guitar.
21:17You do have
21:17an acoustic guitar.
21:18How come?
21:19Oh, um, uh, because
21:21there's something
21:21I need to tell you.
21:22You got this, Nicholas.
21:24Oh, top of the world!
21:25Jesse?
21:26Ahem.
21:30I love the way
21:31you fight the patriarch
21:33You're cool and funny
21:34and you're really smart
21:36I love when
21:37you get stubborn
21:38and you double down
21:42I like the way
21:43you stutter
21:44when you try to lie
21:45You're an easier hang
21:46than most any guy
21:48Oh, I love your ponytail
21:50and your pouty frown
21:52Connie, what do I do?
21:53Baby, I think
21:54you have to let him finish.
21:55Maybe at the end
21:56it's a joke.
21:57Jesse, I see
21:58how great you are
22:02In case it wasn't clear,
22:03what I'm saying is
22:04I love you.
22:06I'm in love with you,
22:07Jesse Glazer.
22:08Oh, my God.
22:09I don't know what to say.
22:10Sonia,
22:11where's the glow, darling?
22:12Oh, Walter.
22:14Nick, you don't
22:15you don't love me.
22:16What?
22:17Of course I do.
22:18Like, so cheesy.
22:19But, like,
22:20with all, like,
22:21my heart and soul.
22:22Like, I want to, like,
22:23make babies with you
22:24on a balcony in Miami.
22:25Like, not now.
22:26What?
22:27Like, one day.
22:28Oh, no, Nicky.
22:29No, no, no, no, no, no,
22:30Nicky, no.
22:31Stop.
22:32Can you just,
22:33can you say something
22:34back now?
22:35I'm sorry.
22:36I'm sorry about you.
22:38Cool.
22:39Cool.
22:40I see.
22:41That's, uh...
22:42I'm so sorry.
22:43No, that's good.
22:44Good information to have.
22:46Walter,
22:47what do I do?
22:48I don't know.
22:49This always works.
22:50I love her!
22:51OK, I feel like I should go.
22:52Yeah, me too.
22:53So I think I'll just,
22:54I'm gonna go for a run.
22:56Ow!
22:57Oh, dear Lord.
22:58Woof.
22:59That was rough.
23:00Why didn't
23:01I get him to do that?
23:02And then he fell.
23:03Scraped his little hands.
23:04Tu veux que j'enlève ces petites mains ?
23:06Oh mon dieu, il est de retour.
23:08En fait, j'ai...
23:09Ali !
23:09Hey !
23:10Hey, n'est-ce pas que t'es tombé ?
23:11Bon, ouais, mais j'ai juste voulu te dire que mon père est super en train de s'amuser avec ton père.
23:16Vraiment ? Non !
23:17J'ai l'habitude de te dire que t'es un putain de badass, Jesse Glazer !
23:20Moi ? T'es le type qui va tomber sur un ballon de cristal avec une roche !
23:23T'as fait du bruit sur les policiers !
23:24Bon, on a tous fait ça.
23:25On l'a vraiment fait, n'est-ce pas ?
23:27Oh, ouais.
23:28D'accord.
23:29Je dois y revenir avant que mon père réalise que le trou dans mon lit n'est qu'une pièce de vraie religion.
23:33Je t'aime !
23:34Je t'aime !
23:35Cette fille est tellement cool, n'est-ce pas ?
23:38Elle est la plus cool.
23:39Oh, ça !
24:00J'ai toujours pensé que j'avais un style plutôt bon.
24:04Mais j'ai perdu cette race par un bon vieux countryman.
24:08Fat house !
24:10Ha ha !
24:11Good at business !
24:12Ha ha !
24:13Ha ha !
24:14Ha ha !
24:15Ha ha !
24:16Ha ha !
24:17Ha ha !
24:18Ha ha !
24:19Ha ha !
24:20Ha ha !
24:21Ha ha !
24:22Ha ha !
24:23Ha ha !
24:24Ha ha !
24:25Ha ha !
24:26Ha ha !
24:27Ha ha !
24:28Good at business.
24:29Chirp.
24:30Ha ha !
24:58Ha ha !
24:59Ha ha !
25:00Ha ha !
25:01Ha ha !
25:02Ha ha !
25:03Ha ha !
25:04Ha ha !
25:05Ha ha !
25:06Ha ha !
25:07Ha ha !
25:08Ha ha !
25:09Ha ha !
25:10Ha ha !
25:11Ha ha !
25:12Ha ha !
25:13Ha ha !
25:14Ha ha !
25:15Ha ha !
25:16Ha ha !
25:17Ha ha !
25:18Ha ha !
25:19Ha ha !
25:20Ha ha !
25:21Ha ha !
25:22Ha ha !
25:23Ha ha !
25:24Ha ha !
25:25Ha ha !
25:26Ha ha !