ALF im Märchenland - 14. Die drei kleinen Schweinchen
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00:30the road of tears, the dead-end without a turn, which is called
00:34Alp's Shadow World.
00:40Gordon Chumway, Sergeant Kemper of the Dramaturgy Operation Command.
00:45I'm afraid you're not settling the story in the right way.
00:49The Three Little Pigs is an educational and enchanting fairy tale.
00:52And for that you need a fairy tale book decoration.
00:55Let's begin, boys.
00:57What's that?
01:01So, Chumway, read it.
01:03And do your best. My children often watch.
01:08Once upon a time there was a little town called Swinesford.
01:12And there lived a family called Sauraus.
01:15And it was the day of the exodus of the Three Little Pigs.
01:30I can't believe they're all grown up and moving out.
01:35It's as if it was only yesterday, when they were still little boys.
01:41Well, think about your new, own life.
01:44Think about your future.
01:45And also think about the fact that you can go to the bathroom at any time now.
01:49Don't be shy, Mom. We'll visit you.
01:52Anyway, someone has to wash our laundry.
01:56So, thank you for everything you've done for us.
01:59We'll miss you.
02:00We'll miss you, too.
02:02Have you forgotten anything?
02:04No, no, we've got everything.
02:06I'm sure there's nothing left in your room.
02:08No, no, nothing at all.
02:10Good.
02:11Okay, guys, bring the things in.
02:18Put everything in the empty room at the end of the corridor.
02:22That's how my kids disappeared in their storage cabins.
02:30There we are. Fresh out of the nest.
02:32But on our own feet.
02:34Absolutely independent.
02:37Let's build our own house.
02:39Let's build our own house.
02:40Let's build that from the can of soup.
02:44We'd rather take wooden sticks from the ice.
02:51What kind of stupid idea is that supposed to be?
02:54Oh, ice cream sticks and soup cans.
02:57And I kept thinking about bricks, mortars and steel beams.
03:01I guess I'm the stupid one.
03:03I moved out to live in a house that I like.
03:06And such a house is made of ice cream sticks.
03:09When I was still a little boy, I always wanted to live in a house made of soup cans.
03:15And now you want to destroy this dream of mine?
03:18How about a pretty stucco facade? That's in now.
03:22Ice cream sticks. No, no, soup cans.
03:26Sticks. Cans.
03:29Stop it, boys. Let's agree on a compromise and on state-approved building material.
03:34Then I'll build my own house.
03:37And me too.
03:41Does anyone have a nice apartment to offer?
03:49Ah, welcome, welcome.
03:51Just come in and sit down.
03:53We have something very important to discuss with each other.
03:56Wolf, I have a bigger task for you.
03:59Assuming that you treasure something big.
04:02W-W-Wolf does everything and everyone.
04:05Good.
04:06Under a certain private property in front of the city gates,
04:09there is a large oil reservoir.
04:12The owners do not know what they own and what they are sitting on.
04:15I want you to get them to transfer their property to the city.
04:18And when I say city, of course I mean me.
04:21And if they don't want to transfer?
04:24Then you blow them away.
04:26Great. Just like in the good old days.
04:29I blow and blow and blow.
04:31Here's the address.
04:35So, and now let's laugh our evil laugh and seal the deal with it.
04:40So, and now let's laugh our evil laugh and seal the deal with it.
05:06So much for friendly neighborhood.
05:11A very cool place, what?
05:14Super awesome.
05:16M-M-My brothers don't get it.
05:18They have completely different views.
05:20Chip is on ice on the steel rod,
05:22and Robby is building according to ancient construction regulations.
05:30Hi.
05:31B.B. Wolf.
05:32From the B.B. Wolf demolition company.
05:34Would you kindly sign this form
05:39and thus transfer your property to the city?
05:43Huh?
05:44N-N-No, I just built the house,
05:47and I want to keep it.
05:49I'll give you ten pennies for it.
05:51T-T-T-Ten pennies?
05:53N-N-N-N-No, I'd rather not.
05:56And even if I sign,
05:59you still need my brothers' signature.
06:02We'll take care of that.
06:03But for the first time...
06:06Mr. Schwein!
06:08Mr. Schwein!
06:10Let me in!
06:12N-N-No, not with the beard of my great-grandmother.
06:15That's out of the question.
06:17Then not.
06:18Then I'll cough, and I'll blow,
06:20and I'll blow your house away.
06:22Blow the house away?
06:24You're going to blow something?
06:26No!
06:31D-D-Do you really think he's serious?
06:34Aye, that's it!
07:04And now it's your turn, little pig.
07:06And then it's your brothers' turn,
07:08one after the other.
07:10This is the moment for my evil laugh.
07:25Hey, Chip.
07:26Do you want to go to the movies with me?
07:31Come on, Chipper.
07:33You've really shown me the cold shoulder long enough.
07:39Everyone has the right to their own house.
07:41You build one out of pieces of wood,
07:43I build one out of solid stones,
07:45and Ernie builds one out of tin.
07:52Ernie!
07:53Little brother!
07:54Wait, we're coming!
07:56What happened to him?
07:57Why is he always so tense?
07:59Stop it!
08:00Calm down!
08:02Have you seen my brother anywhere?
08:04A man with a low voice?
08:06No, I'm sorry.
08:08Hey!
08:11Who are you,
08:12and why do you want to photograph Ernie's junk pile?
08:15I am Laura Day,
08:16reporter for the Schweinshutter Nachrichten.
08:18Laura Day?
08:19You wrote that hot article
08:21that blew up the statically charged carpet industry
08:23at the Hocker.
08:24Yes, that was me.
08:26I am Robbie Pig,
08:28and this is my brother, Chip.
08:30Do you have any idea
08:31what could have happened to our brother?
08:33That was his house.
08:34The way it looks,
08:35I think it's the typical handwriting
08:37of this man.
08:39Batman?
08:42Oh, no, I'm sorry.
08:44That's the man.
08:47That's a pretty nasty impression.
08:48Who is that?
08:49B.B. Wolf,
08:50famous demolition expert
08:52and a great villain.
08:54I'm researching a story
08:55that will bring Wolf behind bars.
08:57Together with this scoundrel of a mayor.
08:59You think Wolf has Ernie?
09:01It's possible.
09:02But then we have to save him.
09:04I need evidence for Wolf's evil deeds for my story,
09:07and I have a plan
09:08that leads me directly to his office.
09:10And there he probably keeps his brother captive.
09:12So I'll go with you.
09:13Chip, you stay here
09:14and watch everything.
09:15All right.
09:16Then I'll tell you now
09:17what we do first.
09:19We go there.
09:20Yes, please, ma'am.
09:22Mr. Wolf,
09:23I am Rowena Seiling,
09:25star reporter for effective demolition
09:27of houses and gardens,
09:28the bible of the demolition industry.
09:30I have nothing to share with the press.
09:33But, Mr. Wolf,
09:34I'm coming for a story,
09:36and I'll get it.
09:37We know exactly what you do
09:39and who you are.
09:40You are the best demolition expert in the world.
09:42Who am I?
09:43What do you mean?
09:44What?
09:45Me?
09:46We want you for the title picture
09:47next month.
09:48I've always dreamed of that.
09:50To be a top eight demolition icon
09:52as a symbol of the industry.
09:55Yes, exactly.
09:56Take a seat.
09:57I have a lot of questions.
10:18Annie?
10:25Yes, for heaven's sake.
10:29Annie, what did they do to you?
10:31I must say,
10:32you have a very good kitchen here.
10:34This morning there were eggs benedict.
10:36What happened to your house?
10:38The wolf blew it to rubble.
10:41You blow and cough
10:43and blow houses to rubble?
10:45Yes, that's right.
10:47When I was still a little wolf,
10:49I had a lot of allergies.
10:51My evil wolf
10:53made me full of allergies.
10:55This caused me shortness of breath.
10:57Interesting.
10:59Then I discovered
11:00this yoga breathing technique.
11:02This gave me strong lungs
11:04and cured all my allergies
11:07except for one.
11:09Yes, which one?
11:11My allergy to...
11:16to flowers.
11:17Flowers.
11:19Flowers.
11:21But why does the wolf want our property?
11:23I don't know either.
11:26So the wolf doesn't get our property,
11:28unless all three sign it.
11:31That means
11:32he will take you and Chip.
11:35I'm sorry, Wolf,
11:36but I won't buy that from you.
11:38Before I put you on the billboard,
11:40I want to see how you blow a house away.
11:42But...
11:43I'll tell you what.
11:45I have an appointment to blow away,
11:47this evening.
11:52Chip the pig, huh?
11:54Go to this address,
11:55just after sunset,
11:57and you'll get all the evidence you need.
12:00You say it, Wolf,
12:01all the evidence I need.
12:06Catch him
12:07when you see my flashlight.
12:09I want to be sure
12:10I have him on film.
12:12No problemo.
12:14Is Chip in the house?
12:16Yes, and he's on the move.
12:20Here he comes, Wolf.
12:23Remember,
12:24you're going to meet him
12:25after my flashlight.
12:40Good evening.
12:41I was struck by the unusual
12:43and extraordinary construction
12:45of the house.
12:47Ice cream sticks, right?
12:50The walls are made of ice cream sticks,
12:52the roof is made of cream ice cream sticks.
12:55I'd love to buy it,
12:57including the ground and the floor,
12:59but that's up to you.
13:01No problemo.
13:03I could offer you
13:04a reasonable sum for that.
13:07This is pig property.
13:15Mr. Pig!
13:17Mr. Pig!
13:19Let me in right now!
13:21You've cut yourself, friend.
13:23There's nothing to do.
13:24Go on.
13:25Then I'll cough and cough
13:27and blow your house away!
13:45Ah!
14:00Can I grab him now?
14:05Chip!
14:06Ernie!
14:07Sign this lovely little document,
14:11and then you'll all be free.
14:13What's wrong?
14:14What do you want with this stupid piece of land?
14:16Take the money
14:17and live happily ever after.
14:19But it's all on Betty.
14:21Not on the lady of my grandmother!
14:23So now let go of your hairy stories
14:25and think about it.
14:27Look, I'd like to be nice to you guys,
14:29but if you fight against me,
14:31then I can't hold back
14:33the evil big Wolf any longer.
14:35Right, Wolf?
14:36Or am I right?
14:37Exactly!
14:38What do you think of a nice,
14:40big portion of raspberries
14:42and chocolate?
14:44How many more times do I have to tell you,
14:46you fool?
14:47I'm the good guy,
14:48and you're the bad guy.
14:50You and your stupid strategy.
14:56Hurry, bring her to the back room.
15:03I saw what you did to the pigsty.
15:06You're the hero of our front page.
15:08This is Poppins.
15:09He'll do as you say.
15:10Now?
15:11Right away?
15:12Say, Gorgonzola.
15:24I can't find her.
15:25You have to keep looking.
15:27Oh, say, Wolf,
15:29what's your favorite color?
15:32Say, Limburger, Harzer.
15:34Oh, what do you say, Swiss?
15:37Yes?
15:38Oh, that's a beige tone.
15:39Am I right?
15:40I found her.
15:44Come on, get out of here.
15:46And with that,
15:47you're at the end of your evil deeds,
15:49Mr. Big Bad Wolf.
15:51Once again, the little people...
15:58Do something, you stupid man.
16:02My goodness.
16:03Thank you very much.
16:08Has anyone of you ever thought
16:10of taking a few pounds?
16:12Now would be the right time for it.
16:16Taxi!
16:21My hat has three corners,
16:23three corners on my hat.
16:25We drink three bottles,
16:27three bottles,
16:29we drink three bottles,
16:31three bottles taste good.
16:33Thank you, Laura.
16:35You're welcome.
16:36Come on, guys,
16:37don't waste any time.
16:44That can't be true,
16:45like a bank.
16:46Hey,
16:47if anyone of you
16:48has an undamaged house,
16:50he should raise his hand.
16:52Come on in.
17:00Oh,
17:01and now get up,
17:02you pigs,
17:03or our wolf will...
17:05Stop!
17:06There's a certain ritual
17:07and some diplomacy involved.
17:09You're just too direct.
17:14Robbie Pig,
17:16Mr. Pig,
17:17let me in.
17:19Not even at the ladies' bar
17:21of my grandmother.
17:23Then I'll blow,
17:24then I'll cough,
17:25then I'll blow your house away.
17:27Now you'll understand
17:28why I subscribed
17:29to the house building magazine.
17:51Mr. Pustelkuchen,
17:53Mr. Luftdekus,
17:55six trees and a mailbox
17:57you blew away.
17:59And what are we going to do now?
18:01The mayor
18:02is putting Bebe Wolf on the line
18:04and he's actually starting
18:06to blow himself up again.
18:14Stop!
18:15We're signing the document.
18:17Oh, really?
18:22Yes,
18:23we want to live in peace
18:24and that's why
18:25we have a little present
18:26for Mr. Wolf.
18:28For you.
18:31Go to cover!
18:35What's going on?
18:38Stop!
18:39Stop!
18:40Don't sneeze!
18:53Health!
18:56Yes, Robby,
18:57then I'll go again.
18:58But that's a shame.
19:00I have to get to my story.
19:02I have to find out
19:03why the mayor
19:04and the wolf
19:05were so sharp on your land.
19:06Thank you very much for everything.
19:07Hey,
19:08how else should
19:09corruption in the country
19:10be exposed?
19:11Maybe you'll see
19:12in the next comic book.
19:13Hello, boys!
19:15Mom, Dad!
19:17Did you make the long way
19:19over the meadow on purpose?
19:20We're not even prepared
19:21for a visit.
19:22Where you are now
19:23standing on your own feet
19:24your mother and I thought
19:25you might need this.
19:27Thank you.
19:29I'll set it up right away.
19:32The house really makes
19:33a very good impression.
19:35Yes,
19:36and it's quite solidly built.
19:39And it's our home.
19:41That's what counts.
19:42It's our home
19:43on our land
19:44and no one can force us
19:45to move it out again.
19:55Oh,
19:56I think this is
19:57the best salad oil.
19:58It's earth oil.
20:00Black gold.
20:01Hexane tea.
20:05Let's leave this hole
20:06and build ourselves
20:07a real house.
20:09As long as we live
20:10in a society
20:11that's based on
20:12petrochemistry,
20:13we'll probably
20:14have a pretty good time.
20:17And where do we
20:18want to go now?
20:20That means California
20:21would be the country
20:22we should live in.
20:23We've loaded
20:24the most important thing.
20:25Now let's go to Beverly
20:26to the promised land.
20:31Once again,
20:32it doesn't matter
20:33whether you have
20:34a lot of money
20:35or influential parents.
20:37What's important
20:38is that you're honest,
20:39work hard
20:40and have an oil source
20:41in your basement.
20:53© The Bulletproof Executive 2013