ALF im Märchenland - 17. Des Kaisers neue Kleider
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00:00We present Alf im Märchenland, full of adventure, romance, with a lot of fun, and a lot of
00:27fun.
00:57And what do you bring me today, Lord Woolworthy?
01:07Leisure clothes, your majesty.
01:10Good, I only have almost 10,000 ensembles in the closet.
01:14Let's see.
01:15Music, please.
01:16Your majesty, I present to you an airy combination for the lance tournament.
01:25The panzer shirt is made of 100% chain and absolutely crack-free.
01:30On the other hand, Evan can hardly wait for the next picnic at Hofe, to present his
01:37fashionable two-piece of double-strength sack linen with pearl stockings.
01:45It looks nice, but it's not my style.
01:48Lord Woolworthy, the rise of fashion designers is now ahead, and I want something new.
01:54Something exciting, daring, and funny.
01:58Very well, your majesty, of course.
02:01I will try very hard.
02:04Something lively, something adventurous, something out of the ordinary.
02:08Why don't you buy at a department store?
02:11I also demand a lot of discount.
02:14Attention, attention, dear fashion designers.
02:18The emperor needs a new outfit for the parade.
02:22He wants something new, something exciting, something daring, and, well, you know, something
02:27funny.
02:31That should be new and exciting, that should be something daring.
02:34Here is something daring.
02:35Trashy.
02:36You can get it at a high price.
02:39Excuse me.
02:40Can someone show me the way to the palace of the emperor?
02:44What brings you to him, dear stranger?
02:48My name is Benetton Isbry.
02:50I am a designer.
02:51A fashion designer?
02:55If you think that's funny, I won't show you my butt.
02:59Hey, you look familiar to me.
03:01Yves Saint Bernard.
03:03Ralf Polo.
03:05Norma Tamale.
03:07The greatest fashion designers of the whole universe.
03:10Yes, we are.
03:11Apart from my arch-rival Norma Tamale, of course.
03:15Ah!
03:16You giant scoundrel!
03:18I'll show you!
03:20Benetton Isbry.
03:22I like your cut.
03:24Do you know who I am?
03:26You are Coco Klein.
03:28I'll give you a little hint.
03:30My name is Coco Klein.
03:33Cut!
03:34The woman needs a hearing aid.
03:35I admire you very much, Madame Klein.
03:38I do, too.
03:39Come, you will be my assistant.
03:42Yes, that's right, the pay is not very high.
03:44That doesn't matter.
03:45The main thing is that the working time is long and strenuous.
03:48Bye, guys.
03:49See you at the fashion designer parade.
03:51You have such young, inventive talents.
03:54You should keep an eye on this boy.
03:58Stop it, Norma.
03:59Stop it and leave our friend alone.
04:01After all, his sight is blocked.
04:05These are interchangeable shoulder pads.
04:07Do you see?
04:08Just the right thing for the woman with interchangeable shoulders.
04:12And what kind of a bad joke is that?
04:15Well, that's a Hawaii shirt.
04:17Just the right thing for gentlemen on a trip to the South Sea.
04:21Benetton, let me show you what I know about fashion.
04:24Christy, throw yourself into the hat, honey.
04:32Christy, my little one.
04:34This is Benetton Esprit.
04:36Benetton, this is my rich and spiny model, Christy Dinkley.
04:42Please keep an eye on her.
04:44I have to make a phone call, okay?
04:47I don't even need a magnifying glass.
04:49Not the model, the tunic.
04:52Hello? Nancy?
04:54When will I finally get my clothes back?
04:57So you're new here.
04:59Can I show you something?
05:01What were you thinking?
05:03Oh, the moon and the stars.
05:05I've heard about the moon.
05:07So let's go.
05:08Don't you want to wait until tonight?
05:10But then it's way too dark to see.
05:16But Madame Klein, he's a genius.
05:18His designs are just too practical.
05:21But the emperor wants something new.
05:27Well, let's see.
05:28Maybe he'll like one of Benetton's baseball hats.
05:32Come on, Benetton.
05:33Let's go to the palace.
05:35Your Majesty, Madame Coco Klein and...
05:40...Badminton Esprit.
05:43Well, Coco and Badminton...
05:45...what do you have to offer me?
05:47Your Majesty...
05:50These are linen trousers...
05:51...with creased and creased creases.
05:53Carrered jacket...
05:55...with French cut...
05:56...Italian pockets...
05:57...combined with Spanish pants.
06:01Coco...
06:02...a technical question, if you don't mind.
06:05With pleasure, Your Majesty.
06:08Is this supposed to be a joke?
06:10Pack up your disgusting collection...
06:13...and leave my palace!
06:15Frisky...
06:16...Benetton won't work for us anymore.
06:19Please give him his promissory note...
06:21...and his yellow coat...
06:22...and his light green shirt.
06:25But Ben's designs are so elegant.
06:28Right? Like we say in France.
06:30Elegant, shmellegant.
06:32The emperor wants something new.
06:34Something daring.
06:35Something absolutely out of this world.
06:37So, au revoir.
06:39And a little advice.
06:40You should change your profession.
06:42But fashion design is my life.
06:44Then you're already dead.
06:47Leave me alone.
06:48Au revoir, Benetton.
06:49And watch out for other designers.
06:51They're all necklaces.
06:53I thank you for your advice.
06:55But where do you want to go?
06:56Anywhere.
06:57To a place where I can unfold myself.
07:00A place where I will design a shirt...
07:02...made of pure cotton.
07:04With royal engravings and royal locks?
07:06I don't know yet.
07:07I don't know yet.
07:08But remember, when you look at the moon...
07:10...do it as late at night as possible.
07:25It looks like it was cut from an old army tent.
07:28I'm already 35 years old.
07:30The next one.
07:32Your Majesty...
07:34...here comes Christian.
07:36His three-part combination...
07:39...can be worn at fashionable parties...
07:42...as well as at festive...
07:48What does that mean?
07:50That? I think it's an article.
07:52I thought it was a preposition.
07:54But it could also be an adjective.
07:57For example, put the juice glass on the table.
08:00What juice glass?
08:02It's vegan.
08:03And you? What's your name?
08:05Guess.
08:06I give up.
08:07No, guess.
08:09I said I give up.
08:10No, I give up.
08:11That's what my agent says.
08:13Then you're at the art service.
08:15Me too.
08:16My lords and ladies...
08:18...I sing with three ripe oranges...
08:20...without a single...
08:22Your Majesty...
08:23...I think he wants to tell us...
08:26...his name is...
08:28...guess.
08:29I can't.
08:30You can't what, sir?
08:32I can't guess...
08:34...and now I'm throwing you all in jail.
08:38And first, you.
08:40I beg your pardon, Your Majesty.
08:42My first name is Guess...
08:44...and my last name is Watch.
08:46So that's how it is.
08:47Watch!
08:48Throw him out the door.
08:50But why?
08:52First of all, because you're not even wearing pants.
08:55That's why I'm here, sir.
08:57Turn around.
08:58You walk in here...
09:00...and disrupt my private fashion show...
09:02...to tell me that you're not wearing pants?
09:05Sir, my pants are made of a new fiber...
09:08...called Schmähtex.
09:10It's more flexible than silk...
09:12...more durable than polyester...
09:14...and more airy than cotton.
09:16However, you can only see...
09:18...who is en vogue...
09:19...en vogue...
09:20...and absolutely out of place.
09:22For everyone else, it's invisible.
09:24These bulky thoughts...
09:26...does anyone have a hairpin?
09:27Well...
09:28...I think his pants are awesome.
09:33Have you heard?
09:34The noble lady says...
09:35...that Schmähtex by Guess is hot, hot, hot!
09:38And Karl Löffelfeld says...
09:40...that Schmähtex by Guess is cool, cool, cool!
09:43We're over, over, over!
09:45We have to forget our little quarrel...
09:48...and stick together.
09:49We'll play together with Guess.
09:52Why is the music suddenly so threatening, Mr. Rhein?
09:56Hello, I'm Ralf Polo.
09:58Is this Schmähtex?
10:00How interesting.
10:01Where do you get the material from?
10:03From an ecological weavery.
10:05I see.
10:06That's why there's so little pollutants in there.
10:09I'll take 2,000 meters.
10:11That's not possible, Ralf.
10:12I don't sell to the competition.
10:14Only to the selected trade.
10:18It's not easy, but it saves a lot of trouble.
10:22En vogue!
10:23En vogue!
10:24En vogue!
10:25Totally out of control.
10:27What's that smell?
10:30What smell?
10:31That's what the famous Schmähtex smells like.
10:35That's far too vulgar for us.
10:37Come on, Christy.
10:38I suspected that Christy would be quite demanding.
10:42If Christy had recognized me, she would have come back.
10:47But if not, why should she?
10:49And if she is, why isn't she?
10:55Wait, wait!
10:57Hey!
10:59It's about time.
11:01Please, I'm Rathetmal.
11:03And who are you?
11:04Michel Mustermann.
11:05From the fashion store Mustermann & Sohn.
11:09What's that smell?
11:10What do you mean?
11:11How do you like Schmähtex?
11:13You have to be en vogue, en vogue and totally out of control to see it.
11:17So you shouldn't have any trouble.
11:19No, really great.
11:21Yes, thank you for that.
11:22Whatever.
11:23It looks great.
11:25It's getting better.
11:27There are no fairies or witches in this episode,
11:29but there are naked facts.
11:31So don't switch it off.
11:36At least nothing happened in Schmähtex.
11:40It was simply indescribable, Sire.
11:44But how did it look, Lord Woolworthy?
11:47Well, like a mixture of
11:50spring air
11:52and November wind.
11:55Really?
11:56Let this Rathetmal come to my palace.
12:00Dear Rathetmal,
12:02I demand that you dress me a single piece for the Fashion Creator Parade.
12:07And that is from Schmähtex.
12:09It's an honor, Sire.
12:12Your reward will be, as usual, immeasurable.
12:16My treasures, the Getty brothers,
12:18will be visiting you in three days with the first rate.
12:30Until then, you should be able to show something.
12:33Then send the Gettys in two days.
12:41You think Crystal will come back while I paint on her portrait?
12:45But no.
12:53We are the Getty brothers, the treasure masters of the Empire.
12:56Albert, I don't think that's enough, don't you think?
12:59Well, you know, it's not quite finished yet.
13:02Oh, Mr. Rathetmal,
13:04is my Schmähtex costume ready yet?
13:07Huh?
13:08Oh!
13:12Well, Albert, what's good enough for the Stinkreich and Spindeldürre Christi Dinkley,
13:16must be good enough for us, don't you think?
13:18Well, good work, Mr. Rathetmal.
13:20Give him his money.
13:22Uh...
13:23Live well and don't spend it all at once.
13:27There must be something.
13:29But if he's a cheater,
13:31then the Emperor will grab his treasure and have him stonewashed.
13:39Schmähtex
13:42Christi!
13:43Benetton!
13:44Why don't you call me Rathetmal?
13:46Well, Rathemal!
13:47Oh, Ben, because I'm so proud of you and your Schmähtex.
13:51That's pure air.
13:53I thought so.
13:55But why did you do that?
13:57To show the people how stupid they are.
13:59And to get in the evening news.
14:02The Emperor lets me pick him up with his carriage.
14:04I'm supposed to dress him up for the parade today.
14:06In Schmähtex?
14:08But that means he's in...
14:11And if he gets behind it,
14:13then he'll have you stonewashed in your bath at Mother Stone.
14:16I'm more worried about whether we can broadcast this in a family show.
14:20Don't worry, darling.
14:21And please don't change.
14:22I think you're just right.
14:37Ahem.
14:44Ah, just in time.
14:46Come in, my boy.
14:49Mr. Mal!
14:50In four hours, the whole nation will witness
14:53how I destroy the seventh Avenue.
14:56I don't want you to forget this sight for the rest of your life.
15:01Certainly not, Majesty.
15:02I guarantee it.
15:03Oh, superb!
15:05But now I have to ask you to undress completely.
15:09Voila, Majesty.
15:10Here are the very delicate boxer shorts
15:12from 100% pure Schmähtex.
15:15How often do I have to change them?
15:18And now the shirt, or whatever you want.
15:29Sire, it's almost eleven and you are...
15:32Well, Lord Woolworthy, what do you think?
15:35But, Sire, it's extraordinary.
15:39It's an extra light summer costume, you see.
15:43I feel like I don't have a thread on my body.
15:46What else is missing, Your Majesty?
15:49The cape.
15:52Well, yes.
15:53It has such a, how shall I say, a certain je ne sais quoi.
15:57It's twice as stupid as I thought.
16:03Oh, isn't that nice?
16:05You said something else to Mummy.
16:07You said the only nice thing about all this fashion parade nonsense
16:10is that you have some free time.
16:14She is a forcibly honest girl.
16:17You know, we are poor, but honest.
16:19Daddy, look! It's already starting!
16:22It's already starting!
16:24It's already starting!
16:26It's already starting!
16:28It's already starting!
16:30Look, it's already starting!
16:50I thought we wanted to say it together.
16:53You will be surprised.
16:55People of the world and people of the people, slaves,
16:58dear Clerus and dear Ketzer,
17:01welcome to this year's fashion parade.
17:04And now I have the great honor and special pleasure
17:08to introduce you to the most sophisticated ruler of this nation
17:11and its crown colonies.
17:16Let our city, the king of kings,
17:19the Neptune of the seas,
17:21appear in a few moments.
17:24Emperor!
17:30Did I not say that designers are neck cutters?
17:33Oh, I feel at home with them.
17:36Why? Are you from Waterloo?
17:38Don't you want to fly? They'll lock you up!
17:41That doesn't matter. I'll get a few stock market tips.
17:55I have to admit,
17:57I've never seen Schmaytex in daylight.
18:00It's amazing.
18:02Yes, in the sunlight it almost seems as if you could see through it.
18:16Look, daddy, the emperor is naked!
18:19Hello, your majesty!
18:21Your majesty, have you forgotten something?
18:25Now stop it. You're not doing it.
18:38Oh, please.
18:40One day you'll laugh about it, too.
18:43Oh, yes? I intend to laugh about it in five minutes,
18:47as soon as a certain someone sits in the church.
18:50Who exactly are you talking about, your majesty?
18:52Guess what!
18:54I'm walking around naked, Mr. Guess what!
18:57You lied to me!
19:00But no, your majesty.
19:02You were lied to, but not by me.
19:04Stop it! No pictures!
19:06Mr. Guess what!
19:08If you didn't lie to me, who did?
19:11And now comes the moral.
19:13Everyone you trusted lied.
19:15That one, that one, and of course that one.
19:19Well, I never lied to anyone.
19:22That man is a cheater.
19:24A week ago, you talked very differently.
19:27Here, sir. Try this.
19:29Hey, that feels good.
19:31Who does that?
19:33A talented young man named Benetton Esprit.
19:36Benetton Esprit! I've heard of him.
19:40And where can I find him?
19:42Here, in front of you.
19:44As I said, none of your clothes are as comfortable as the one I'm wearing right now.
19:49Comfort is not everything, sir.
19:52But we'll tell you what's good.
19:54That's over now.
19:56Pay attention.
19:58Ladies and gentlemen,
20:00in memory of this year's fashion show,
20:04I present my entire wardrobe to you,
20:08my beloved subjects.
20:10Come to the palace and take what you can get.
20:14I mean it seriously.
20:16Do you want something or not?
20:22But that's the beggar.
20:24Those are all farmers.
20:26Since you disagree,
20:28I'll send you all to our Antarctic colonies
20:31so that you can open a discount fashion chain there.
20:35And you...
20:37I hope it will be a happy ending.
20:39Are you interested in the position of the emperor's only fashion designer?
20:46This pig wants to smell my riding costume.
20:51Sir, is something missing?
20:53No, no.
20:55I've always wanted to cross the main square without my pants.
21:00And I've waited long enough for this chance.
21:03Don't you want to join me?
21:09Yes!
21:33Tell me, Junior, do you think sheep are really stupid?
21:38Could be, my little sheep.
21:44How nice that we both come from the same stable.