It's A Living S3 E4 Desperate Hours
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00:00Life's not the French Riviera, believe me Life's not a charity bar
00:11It isn't all a great big bed of roses It's not like showbiz, but the main thing
00:20We're not supposed to be outnumbered, believe me We know we're doing our part
00:29Okay, we may be less than wealthy But not that we're young and healthy
00:38And anyone who's young and healthy knows that that's a waste
00:46The traffic flows, it's unbearable
01:16Tall and tan, and young and lovely
01:31I know what you're thinking, the sun man's singing about himself
01:35The girl from Ipanema goes walking
01:39And hey, when she passes, each one she passes goes
01:43Take a hike
01:48Oh, Dot, I'd like to speak to you for a moment
01:50Nancy, if I'm in trouble, I can explain
01:52See, the power in my building went out and my clocks were an hour late
01:55You're not in trouble
01:56Forget that excuse
01:58Actually, I'm not expecting a power failure until next week
02:01Jan, if you have a moment, I'd like you two to switch stations for the rest of the evening
02:05Nancy, it's my turn for this station
02:07It's got more tables, more tips, and I've been waiting a week for my turn
02:10Making me switch just isn't fair
02:13But fair isn't your long suit
02:15Well, I think it's more than fair, and it's nice to see Nancy showing some faith in me
02:20Jan, I'm switching you because the ambassador of the Republic of Plan Cow is coming in for dinner soon
02:26I'm seating him at table seven, and I don't want Dot waiting on him
02:29Very nice, very nice
02:32You know what that says to me?
02:34That says you have no respect for me as a professional or as a person
02:38Right
02:39Thank you, Jan
02:43Nancy, I'd rather not
02:45I'd rather work for the tips
02:47Let Cassie do it
02:48Let Cassie do what?
02:49Switch stations with Dot to take care of some ambassador
02:52I dated an ambassador once
02:54He wanted to put my picture on a postage stamp
02:56Forget it
02:57They're too possessive
02:58Jan, if you're concerned about tips, you should try waiting on table
03:04Howard
03:05Look, I know you don't like people bothering you when you're cooking, but I just wanted to...
03:09You're bothering me
03:10The ambassador is going to go back to Plan Cow and tell everyone about our restaurant
03:14Don't you want other visitors from Plan Cow to eat here?
03:17Plan Cow's an island half the size of Grenada
03:19If they all showed up at once, it would be a slow night
03:22Slow nights can be fun
03:24You could chase me around the bun warmer
03:30Two specials, Howard
03:31Jan, there's a telephone call for you
03:33It's Ellen
03:34Oh, thanks
03:35Amy, do you intend to spend the entire evening in the lounge?
03:37I've got a run in my stocking
03:39My goodness, maybe you should go right home
03:41Nancy, you don't take the wagon out till the wheels are straight
03:44Oh, Queen
03:45Amy, everyone out there isn't going to be looking at your wheels
03:48Wanna bet?
03:49Listen, I think your ambassador's out there
03:52Are you sure it's him?
03:53Well, it's a guy with a red sash
03:54He's either an ambassador or Miss Montana
04:00Jan, the ambassador's here
04:01Ellen, the cat on the bed just doesn't sound like an emergency to me
04:05Oh, I'll tell Nancy you're busy
04:07No, no, no, don't do that
04:08Honey, just take Ralph off the bed and put him outside
04:12What do you mean he won't let you?
04:14Did you try Mr. Squeaky Mouse?
04:17Oh, well, we'll sew his head back on when I get home
04:21Bye
04:28Enjoy your dinner, Mr. Ambassador
04:30Your waitress will be Jan
04:31Is that the big blonde over there?
04:33Your waitress will be Cassie
04:36Cassie, he's yours
04:37For some reason, he wants a waitress with dark roots
04:40What's in it for me?
04:41The thanks of a grateful nation
04:43And your paycheck
04:44Make tracks
04:48Good evening, Mr. Ambassador
04:49Have you decided what you'd like yet?
04:51Only for dessert
04:52Careful, or I'll rip the flags off your bumpers
04:56Now, what would you like?
04:58I'd like the roast duck
05:00You will get nothing until the People's Party is recognized by your government
05:03Never!
05:05Then all these people will die!
05:28Okay, everybody does what we say, nobody gets hurt
05:32You must allow me to contact my embassy
05:34Oh, your embassy will find out about you soon enough
05:37So will the world!
05:39Pardon me?
05:40What is it?
05:41I know this is an unusual request, but may I be excused?
05:44See, I'm a musician, and there really isn't any reason why you need any music for this
05:47I may want to dance on his grave
05:50I'll be thinking dance music then
05:54Why do you need to keep any of us?
05:56We hadn't done anything
05:57I'm sorry, but there are certain miscarriages of justice
06:01In the Republic of Blanco, they can no longer go unspoken
06:04What about this injustice?
06:06What about what you people are doing to us?
06:08You don't understand
06:11I'm going to call Mike Wallace
06:13Then we will get action
06:16No, Eugene!
06:17Don't anybody try anything while I'm gone, or you will never see her again
06:24You!
06:25You!
06:26Over there!
06:28Why don't you let the women go?
06:30No!
06:31Why don't you let the men go?
06:33Quiet!
06:34Don't worry, everything will be okay
06:36I hope you're right
06:37No talking!
06:38He talked first!
06:39I said no talking!
06:42I'm a police officer, I've got a gun
06:44That's wonderful!
06:46Do I have to put you by yourself?
06:48Is that what you want?
06:49She doesn't listen, she never listens
06:52You wait until the right moment, then I'll make my move
06:55You go tell the others
06:56Right
07:01What?
07:03Are you okay?
07:04That's my chest
07:05I'll help you
07:06Are you a doctor?
07:07No, but I've dated quite a few
07:09Leave him alone!
07:10Fuck off!
07:13Here, I'll get you some water
07:17Here you go
07:18Take it easy, huh?
07:21Howard, I have to tell you something
07:23You see that man over there in the tweed jacket?
07:25He's...
07:26Oh!
07:27Howard, I have to tell you something
07:28You see that man over there in the tweed jacket?
07:30He's...
07:31All right, I warned you
07:32You, over there, by yourself
07:34But...
07:35Move!
07:39Oh no
07:40Enough!
07:44Why can't I go and wait with the others?
07:46You will wait with me until Mike Wallace calls back
07:49What if he doesn't?
07:51Well, they said that he would get back to me
07:57Hello
07:59No, I'm sorry, no personal calls allowed
08:01It's a new rule
08:04Look, I don't care
08:05Don't cry to me
08:06I don't care about your cat
08:08Cat?
08:09Is that Ellen?
08:10I think that's my daughter
08:11May I speak to her, please?
08:17Ellen, listen to me
08:19Mommy's gonna be late tonight
08:23Ralph can't be having kittens on your bed
08:25But Ralph is a boy cat
08:28Well, I guess that would make him a girl cat
08:31Your mother must go now
08:32You will be fine
08:33Why did you do that?
08:35She's just a little girl
08:36She'll be scared
08:38She takes after her mother
08:50Hold it!
08:51What are you doing?
08:52He's been in there for hours with Jan
08:54And I want to know what's going on
08:55To bed
08:56Sit!
08:57Certainly
08:59Howard, I have an idea
09:02The next time we take a meal break
09:04You put some knockout drops in their food
09:06Knockout drops?
09:08I didn't study cooking with Dick Tracy
09:11Well, the men back home in Texas
09:13Wouldn't just sit there and do what they say
09:15Yahoo!
09:21Are you okay?
09:22I've been better
09:23This man needs medical attention
09:25We've got to get him to a hospital
09:27Shut up!
09:28Don't get yourself in trouble because of me
09:30You're no trouble
09:31A guy's got to get pretty sick
09:33To get the attention of a girl like you
09:35What are you talking about?
09:36I've had my eye on you all night
09:38Oh, you lie as good as you look
09:40Oh, yeah?
09:41Why don't you try asking me out sometime?
09:43What are you trying to do, finish me off?
09:45Well, there are worse ways to go
09:50Jan
09:52Did you tell Mac Wallace?
09:53I told him all
09:54Now we will get action
09:55Look, may I make a suggestion?
09:57Look, you've got the restaurant employees
09:59You've got the ambassador
10:00Now, we've done everything you wanted
10:02Why don't you let these other people go?
10:04Why would I do that?
10:05It would be easier for you
10:06There would be fewer people to watch
10:11All right
10:12But no tricks, or people die
10:15Let's move
10:16Let's move
10:17Right here, take it easy
10:19Come on, Sadie
10:20Okay, move
10:22Okay, stop
10:24Stop!
10:25Nice seeing you, boys
10:26I'll send some oil to your country
10:29That's it, no one else leaves
10:35All right, piano player, get over there
10:38Now, hear me
10:40If our demands are not met
10:42We will kill one of you every hour until they are
10:46You, play something
11:11Ambassador, are you all right?
11:13Yes, thank you
11:15But I am curiously disturbed by that young man over there
11:22This is why they never should have told men it was okay to cry
11:26Come on, Sonny
11:31Everything's gonna be okay
11:33There's so many things that I'm not gonna get a chance to do
11:38Unless they let me get you alone in the lounge
11:40Sonny
11:41You know, Jan, I never had a chance to tell you how I really feel about you
11:44Sonny, this probably isn't the best time to tell a lie
11:47You're right, get your arm off me
11:51Joseph is right by the phone
11:53In a few minutes it'll ring
11:54They'll get what they want
11:55Then we can all go home
11:56They never give in to the terrorist's demands
11:58I don't wanna die like this
12:00Well, I don't
12:03You just gotta try and calm down
12:05If you get nervous, they'll get nervous
12:07Now, just relax
12:08Try to think about pleasant things
12:12I'm thinking about being back home in Texas
12:15And smelling the sweet grass
12:17I used to love it in the spring
12:19Before the summer dried everything out
12:21To just sit in a field
12:23And smell life
12:25You know, sitting here like this
12:27Makes you think back
12:29It's called your life flashing before your eyes
12:33I was thinking about Sister Mary Elizabeth, my third grade teacher
12:37She used to tell us there was nothing to fear from death
12:40Death meant going to heaven so you could look forward to it
12:43Sounds like a smart lady
12:45She also used to tell us if we wore patent leather shoes
12:47The boys would try to look at the shoes to see if our dresses
12:51She was right about the shoes
12:53I hope she's right about heaven
12:56What the hell is taking so long?
12:58Why haven't they called?
12:59We've only got a few more minutes
13:01Stop your sniveling, Sonny
13:02Why can't you be a man, like Howard?
13:04Howard's not a man, he's a zombie
13:06He's not a zombie
13:07He just likes to keep his thoughts to himself
13:09Isn't that right, Howard?
13:13See?
13:16Last Christmas my daughter asked me to visit
13:19I didn't, I should have
13:21I don't have many should-haves in my life
13:23I don't like them, they're excess baggage
13:27I should have visited my daughter
13:30I wish I had a daughter or a son
13:34A baby
13:36I've always wanted one
13:37But I always figured there'd be time enough for that
13:39And the right guy never came along at the right time
13:44It's just something I thought I'd get to do
13:54Did they meet our demands?
13:55It's the little girl
13:57There's trouble with the cat
14:03I need help
14:05Okay, that's it
14:06Let's go, Mr. Gruber
14:08Where are you going? Sit down
14:09This man is sick and I'm taking him out of here
14:12All of you, sit down!
14:13We will shoot you
14:15If he dies, he's not going to help your cause
14:17You don't need this man, he's leaving
14:20Mr. Gruber, come on, let's go
14:23I'm taking him to the elevator
14:25Now move it!
14:28I will take him to the elevator
14:30You go back with the others
14:36Oh, Cassie, I'm so proud of you
14:38Good
14:40Where are you going?
14:42I want to spend the time I have left with my friends
14:45If you want to kill me, go ahead, but I don't want to die alone
14:49Doc, that took a lot of courage
14:51I wasn't sure I could do it
14:52When I said not, you're an actress, act brave
14:55What a trooper
14:56Working on her craft right up to the end
14:59You see that guy over there in the tweed jacket?
15:02You see that guy over there in the tweed jacket?
15:05And the mustache?
15:06Yeah, he's a cop with a gun
15:08In two minutes, we start shooting
15:14Honey, I really can't talk for very long
15:17Now, tell me, what's the problem with Ralph?
15:22What do you mean a kitten is stuck? A kitten is stuck where?
15:25Oh, a kitten is stuck
15:28You must join the others now
15:29Take your hand off the phone
15:32Take your damn hand off the phone
15:38Ellen, you're going to have to help Ralph
15:41Now, I want you to gently pull the kitten the rest of the way out
15:45And I stress the word gently
15:49Yes, sweetheart, I know it's icky
15:50But sometimes when you love someone, you have to do icky things
15:54Now, go ahead, do it
15:57It did?
15:59Good girl
16:00Ralph's going to be fine
16:02I love you, baby
16:04Bye
16:12Okay, time is up
16:14We must show them that we are serious
16:16Which one shall we kill first?
16:18These people have done nothing to you
16:20If you must kill someone, kill me
16:23Oh, no
16:24You are our bargaining chip
16:26You are worth more to us alive
16:27Sit down
16:30We will start with you
16:32Outside
16:33Move it
16:34Stop!
16:35Not her
16:36What are you talking about?
16:37She has a daughter
16:39And kittens
16:40Don't be a fool
16:42I mean it, not her
16:43I am the leader
16:44I will kill whoever I want to
16:46I will kill whoever I want to
16:48I will kill whoever I want to
16:50I will kill whoever I want to
16:52I will not let you kill her
16:54Now, now is the time
16:56Pull your gun and shoot
16:57Wait a minute, you nut
16:58I haven't got a gun
16:59What are you doing?
17:03All right, freeze
17:04I said freeze it
17:15All right, is everybody okay?
17:17Yeah
17:18Oh, you were wonderful, Howard
17:20I don't like shitheads
17:22All right, you three, hands over your head
17:24Move over here
17:27It's your filth, slime
17:30If you want to make a statement for your cause
17:32Then why don't you just go jump off a building
17:34Or blow yourselves up
17:35But you leave us alone
17:37How dare you bargain with the lives of innocent people
17:40Who gave you the right to do that?
17:42Jerks
17:43I don't know who decides what happens to you
17:45But you're just very lucky that it isn't us
17:47Oh, come on, Jan
17:48That's enough
17:49That's enough
17:50Well, are you all okay?
17:52Yeah
17:53Well, I just want to say
17:54You can all be very proud of yourselves
17:56That was a great display of courage and sacrifice
17:59I don't know how to thank you
18:01How about tomorrow night off?
18:02Oh, yeah
18:03I'm sorry, I meant to say
18:04I don't intend to thank you
18:11That's them
18:12Get them out of here
18:14You know, after going through this
18:16I feel so close to all of you
18:19You mean that, Dot?
18:20Most of you
18:22I know what Dot means
18:23Howard, when the chips were down
18:25You were there
18:27I hope we can always be there for each other like that
18:30Really?
18:31Oh, yeah
18:32Do you all feel that way?
18:33Yeah
18:34Absolutely
18:35In that case, would you each take a kitten?
18:37Oh
18:39Oh, come on, you guys
18:40They're kittens
18:41They're cute
18:43Now, what happened to all be there for you?
18:46Here's to never having to go through anything like that again
18:49I'll drink to that
18:53You know, Howard, it's amazing
18:55Right in the middle of all that tension
18:57I found myself thinking the most trivial things
19:00Like who was going to water my house plants?
19:03Yeah, I was wondering
19:04Who was going to take care of my tropical fish?
19:07Well, here's to taking care of plants and feeding fish
19:11I'll drink to that
19:12I didn't know you had fish
19:15Of course, how would I know?
19:17Never having been to your place
19:20Yet
19:22Yeah, I have these two black mollies, Ike and Mamie
19:25They just can't keep their fins off of each other
19:29Don't tease me, Howard
19:32Nothing
19:34Here's to Ike and Mamie
19:36Yeah, I'll drink to that
19:37Here's to Ike and Mamie
19:38Yeah, I'll drink to that
19:42You know, Howard, you've never been to my place either
19:46And after an experience like the one we've just shared
19:49An experience that can bring two people very close
19:53Well, there's a lot of tension in the body
19:56Tension that can kill you if you don't get rid of it
20:00Anyway, I guess what I'm really trying to say is
20:03Here's to going to my place to relieve tension
20:08There isn't enough wine in France
20:33I'll drink to that