Оnlу Fооls & Ноrsеs S08 Е01 - Heroes and Villains
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Short filmTranscript
00:00You
00:30I
01:00I
01:02I
01:25Copters arrived record. I'll summon the maid
01:29I'll say bye-bye to Damien first darling
01:36He's putting together a very important deal talking to president Reeve in what president Reeves
01:50There you are ruddy we have been taken phone for you, how is it go?
01:55State transportation workers have gone on strike strike. I thought Damien had made strikes illegal. Yes
02:02The police were shooting them as I left
02:06Damien said he wanted to see me urgently. Mm-hmm. I'll take you through
02:10Mr. President, oh, shut up you
02:28You just sit there in the White House all day twiddling your thumb to just play in a leadership people are beginning to see through you
02:35What's wrong? We go to war with China. What is good?
02:39What a boy
02:42Well, of course millions will be killed a war without death is like a salad without border Chris
02:48Are you worried too much? I've got a busy night. So make the declaration tomorrow
02:55What's going on here I ordered a messenger over an hour ago, he's here Damien Damien look there
03:04Uncle Rodney
03:08I
03:13Want you in Beijing for the war you report back to me
03:19I don't want to go to war. Oh
03:21It's good
03:24I won't go to war. What would your uncle Albert say?
03:31We lost him their money
03:35Join the war
03:38Oh
03:49You rang your lordship Sandra, what are you doing here Damien took over my bank and fired me
03:59Now I'm the maid
04:02That's a job
04:05This isn't fair
04:07Rodney it's not right. You shouldn't be doing this Rodney
04:13Everything was nice. Now. You're gonna messed it all up Rodney. I want to go back to how it used to be Rodney
04:22Rodney Rodney
04:27Rodney Rodney Rodney wake up you dipstick
04:34God it was a dream. Have you been smoking that Rastafarian old Hovind again?
04:41I just drifted off there for a while. Oh, man. I think wildest dream. Oh, yeah. What was it about?
04:48Sunshine a little birdies in there all going tweet tweet tweet was it? All right. Sorry
04:53So what's happening? What's happening? What is it? I'll tell you what's happening
04:58We have bought
05:001550 and Latvian radio alarm clocks that go off whenever they bloody well like
05:07200 aerodynamic cycling helmets that turn out to be horse riders crash acts that some git has sprayed red
05:14Box of baseball caps that even e17 fans wouldn't wear. Oh
05:19And also my home improvement grant has been rejected apart from that. Everything is fine. Thank God everything normal
05:30What's the matter with you anyway falling asleep a quarter late in the morning, let's get enough sleep at home or what, you know my situation
05:36It's Cassandra in this baby thing. Any hospitals worked out another schedule for us. I'm actually like a rattlesnake
05:45I was for that was your ambition. Well, some people dream of singing La Traviata at the Royal Opera House
05:51Don't I don't mean I want to sing it three bloody times a night
05:56No enough make your throat sore
06:00I
06:03Put her on a special diet and all that the guy that
06:07The guy in the colleges, right? He reckons it's only a matter of time, but Cass keeps getting all broody. I got her a rabbit
06:16Rabbit what's that part of a diet is it?
06:19Pet rabbit. Oh, it's actually made a fuss over. I know it was a stupid idea
06:23I wish I'm bothered now. So the hospital I passed all the tests of that right? Oh, yeah
06:27And I miss his personal I don't want it's being broadcast
06:31No, he's gonna listen. I suppose you've had a tubes looked at. Yes
06:37Everything's fine. We just can't crank the case
06:40Every day, I'm taking specimens down to the clinic and God knows what else because it's all to do with ovums and
06:47things
06:50Hospital keep showing me this film of inside the human body good enough put you off
06:57Yeah, I should think so give me Debbie does Dallas any day of the week
07:02Anyway, listen, come on. We'll have a spot of breakfast if we go down the market. What do you fancy boiled egg? No
07:11But yeah
07:15Can I soften enough
07:17Well, she hasn't booked you in for another scene though, is she? No, no, no. No, we're having a celebratory lunch because um
07:24What's my birthday?
07:26Oh, and I'll brew shit
07:30It's your birthday I forgot all about it didn't I Oh
07:34Well, if it's your birthday in that case, well, did the answer is no
07:38You wouldn't expect Richard Branson to on the afternoon off
07:47Not your birthday, I mean if it was his birth
07:49No, because you wouldn't be too busy down the old financial fast lane
07:53He wouldn't be going out joining it up just because it's his birthday
08:02It's your birthday hey, I bet you thought I forgot there you go. There's your cards look birthday boy
08:12That one's from Damien
08:14Oh
08:18Now don't worry about those for a minute take a look at that that is a present from me
08:31Chunky gold identity bracelet. Yeah, I can say that. Oh
08:36It's just like mine Rodney see that look at that. It's great that 24 karat gold. No rubbish
08:41Look, it's even got your name on it look
08:45Rooney
08:48No, no, no, no that says look Rodney
08:52Rooney
08:54Should be right. No, no. No that is a D. It's just it's like copper plate writing
09:04Come on I don't want you getting all over emotional on me
09:08No, all right
09:13Morning Rodney, okay
09:16What's that it's a chunky gold identity bracelet
09:22Rooney
09:24This Rodney looks like Rooney. That's an O isn't it? No, that's that's a D. It's copper plate writing
09:31Well looks like Rooney from where I'm standing. Where'd you get it from?
09:37Oh, it's your birthday
09:40Sorry, happy birthday, Rodney. Thanks Dell chose the present. I didn't even know what he got you
09:45Where is he? He's in the kitchen
09:47He's a bit disappointed actually the council just turned down his application for a home improvement grant
09:52I suppose they didn't have half a million pounds handy
09:55So what's he want to do then? Who knows put an extension on the balcony and build a double garage knowing it
10:01No, oh contraire, I just wanted 5,000 pounds so I can improve the kitchen units, that's all
10:06Yeah, that sounds fair enough. I'll get real Rodney. There was no way he was gonna put new units in
10:11He just wanted the five grand
10:14No, cuz the council would have checked to see you got the work carried out
10:17All you gotta do is to give them 18 months of story and they forget all about it because you're too busy organizing carnivals and things
10:25Anyway, they've turned me down. I don't want to discuss it because now it's epidemic in it
10:31Who's that from sweetheart? I don't know yet
10:38Look at this gits
10:44Morning Damien
10:47That got it for me, you know, I know it's a cracker and all any time I my dad gets me everything
10:53Gonna play war
10:56I'm
10:58Bit busy. Come on, Ronnie. You got time for a little battle. No, I'm alright
11:03Honest. All right, you stay there champ. I'll get your cereal
11:08When I'm older people still wear baseball caps when you're older Damien people will wear whatever you tell them to wear
11:14I
11:23Fought for this country shot-and-shell and how they treat you bloody fairy
11:32Yo, Dale, but your socks look like the bomb squads been having a go at all
11:36I need now is that hospital get you and Cassandra pregnant and I have two of the little sods bouncing things
11:41Wait, what do you know about me Cassandra in the hospital?
11:44Nothing, son. Nothing at all
11:48What's an ovum
11:52Were you listening to me in Del's conversation I wasn't listening I just heard
11:58You know me son I'm saying nothing
12:07Listen you be careful. Will you go and collect your pension down at the post office today?
12:10There's a gang of muggers hanging about this area. Yeah, I don't worry me son. I box for the Navy
12:16They used to call my left and trotters trembler. I
12:21Wonder what they called your right hand
12:25Rodney Rodney, come on. Come on quick. Come on. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Come on. Just let's go Rodney
12:33No, no, no, no, no, we haven't got time for that
12:34I've got to take the cappy gear in to tune it up and I've got me a boat down the market and you get your coat
12:40Go on. Oh, see you later, sweetheart. Bye
12:46What's the insta-cherry for I don't know Oh
12:51No, not again
13:01Did I tell you what councillor Murray said to me when she give me this medal, yes
13:06Trigger you are boring the pants off me
13:10She said I thank you on behalf of the council and the people of Peckham
13:21What I said
13:23What effects you brothers?
13:26One cheese roll. I still find it hard to believe so do I
13:30Medals for road sweepers. Good God. They'll be giving Del Boy an award for good taste next
13:36You know
13:38God you've arrived
13:41He could bore you two with it now
13:44Triggers got a medal. Oh
13:48Where'd you find that entry? No, I was awarded it look
13:53It's a picture of me receiving my medal from councillor Murray say that's me
14:00Unless you
14:02Glad you cleared that up
14:04If you have a look at that mini-trip, will you?
14:09Right, so that's that councillor Murray is it she's the old cow that refused my application for a council grant
14:17Humiliated in my life, but Derek when you have the time you must tell me all about it
14:22Hey, I don't mean some of your friends down at the Masonic Lodge got influence in the town
14:27Oh, no, it's just that I've often wondered what it must be like to apply for a council
14:35The day started off so well, didn't it?
14:38It's councillor Murray's idea
14:40She's head of finance and facilities at a town hall and she says that local people should be rewarded for services to the community a
14:47Proud moment in my family's history
14:50Trigger you haven't got a family history
14:53You were created by a chemical spillage at a German warfare factory somewhere off the death of us
14:59Maybe but I still feel proud
15:05So what exactly is the award for the saving the council money
15:08I am to mention to her one day that I've had the same broom for the last 20 years
15:14She was very impressed and sent up a medal
15:1720 years. It's a long time Dave. Yeah. Well, that's two decades. I wouldn't go that far
15:24I
15:28Treat just a second
15:30If you've had that broom for 20 years, have you actually swept any roads with it? Of course
15:37But I look after it. Well, we have an old saying that's been handed down by generations of road sweepers. Look after your broom
15:47No, don't it's just look after your broom
15:54All right, yeah, and that's what I've done I've maintained it for 20 years
16:00This old broom has had 17 new heads and 14 new handles
16:12How the hell can it be the same bloody broom well, he's a picture of it what more proof do you need
16:21This has comes a bit of a shock to me
16:24I haven't heard from you for years
16:26The last time we met I got the impression. I wasn't very important in your life anymore
16:31Yeah, I understand
16:34Okay, let's meet no I'll come to you this weekend, I'm not sure
16:42Del I don't know really I suppose I'll have to tell him the truth. I'll give you a call
16:50Okay
16:52I know you do. Of course. I still love you
16:58Bye
17:09All right, sweetheart, yeah
17:11What you've been up to? Oh me. I've been down a market. I met a bloke
17:16Done a deal about some electric donut makers. Yeah
17:20I was down here. Oh, yeah, I've been a boy. See he told me that Mike down an exit selling tickets for a party on Saturday night
17:27You know, would you like to go this weekend? Yeah. No, not really. Oh
17:33Okay, hey phone calls no Del can we talk
17:41Of course you can there's something I've got to tell you I'd like to sit down
17:50I mean both of us
18:04That letter I got this morning
18:06It was from my mum and dad. I've just got off the phone to them
18:10Oh
18:15Yes, yeah, what's a man I'm terrific oh dear I didn't know you had a mum and dad
18:25What a man was well, you've never mentioned them before years ago
18:29We had a big bust up when I told them I wanted to go into show business. I
18:32Said I wanted to be a dancer and act and everything
18:36My dad he's a bit old-fashioned he said some nasty things you can imagine
18:41So I stormed out went into digs and that was the last contact I had with them until now
18:47They got my address from the landlord at my old flat
18:49They've been phoning for the last couple of weeks, but they just kept getting the answer machine
18:53Yeah, well, I know darling
18:54I mean a lot of people get nervous about leaving messages on answer machines, don't I know they left lots of messages
18:59But the rotten machine wouldn't record them
19:02Oh dear
19:04I don't know what's wrong with this machine. I
19:07Reckon that some of the electronic circuitry needs adjusting. That's all
19:13So I found them we had a nice chat they seem different so understanding I
19:22Cried
19:26It's all right, it's all right. Come on, sweetheart
19:32Oh
19:35Well, come on that is lovely jubbly in there I
19:40Told him about Damien
19:42Yeah, they were pleased. Yeah, they seem really excited that a grandson told them all about him all the little things he does
19:53Did you you know tell him about me I
19:59Mentioned you
20:01Did you you know tell them what I did
20:05No, there wasn't time they just wanted to know about Damie. Oh, yeah, of course, of course he would that's right. Yeah
20:12They mentioned going up there at the weekend. They want to meet him. Oh, that'd be nice. Well, we'll pop up there then shall we
20:20Yeah
20:22The thing is
20:23Well, see my dad's a bit of an old fuddy-duddy and he hasn't been well recently
20:29This bloody thing and I think meeting you might be a bit too much for him
20:39That's the last time that I buy anything off that Ronnie Nelson
20:44Right then the weekend Oh
20:47Mont Blanc
20:50No, I can't go on Saturday because I've got go up to Covent Garden and pick up a van load of aubergines Oh
20:56Oh
20:58They were really looking forward to meeting you as well never mind
21:04All right, sweet, I'll tell you well, why don't you and Damie go and have a nice time?
21:08Hey, why don't you take the Capri gear and let them see that their little girl has done all right for herself?
21:17I do love you
21:19Yeah, no, well, I'm that's all a blow
21:22Anyway, what does your dad do? It's an antique dealer. Is he real?
21:30Interesting you see because in the garage I'm not taking anything with me
21:34No, no, okay. That's fair enough. Just just a thought that was all now go on you go darling build a few bridges a
21:42Try I'll make your coffee. Yeah, that'd be lovely
21:52Oh
21:58What's that
22:01Was she oh dear never mind come and see we didn't do that, you know, you'll learn that when you get a bit older
22:08Anyway, you know where you're going on Saturday. You're gonna go and see your nan and your granddad
22:13I got a nanny granddad. Yes, you have now
22:16Did you get them for me
22:19They belong to your mom, oh
22:21They're gonna make a right fuss of you. They are they'll love you because they're lovely people
22:27Hmm, what they called?
22:29Well, they called them
22:33Nan and granddad
22:37Feed Roger. Yeah, dropped a carrot in earlier good
22:47I'm not it's only once tonight. At least I think it is
23:03Look I chose die
23:09Thank you
23:12Oh, they love cash, sorry
23:15Rooney
23:16It was gonna be the only bloke who can buy a gold identity bracelet and take it to a dyslexic engraver
23:23You got lots of nice presents as well
23:26Yes, I did
23:27And I spoke to mummy today and she said as a special birthday present to you
23:31Why don't we fly over to the villa next week?
23:33I'm owed some time off and Dell hasn't given you a holiday since well, he hasn't given you a holiday. I
23:39Thought it might help
23:42Sangria warm evenings. Yeah, it sounds good. Don't it?
23:46Hold on. What about a rabbit? No, couldn't we give it to Dell? No, they take
23:52Aren't there any sort of kennels, you know a place that looks after rabbits like a cattery but well a rabbitry a rabbitry
23:59It's a Chinese toilet
24:05Hardly they'll be at the villa with us. They'll be there as well
24:08Well, we supposed to
24:10Relax and stick to the schedule your mom and dad there. I figured it out Rodney. We won't do it in front of them
24:19When we want to you know, relax we go to our bedroom, what do you think?
24:26But it'd be in a room next to us. I mean, what about all the panting and the screaming and yes, yes
24:33Yes, you just have to control yourself
24:39I
24:40Decided I can't leave Dale business ain't going to well. Oh, come on, Rodney. I can't care still needs me here
24:47you go
24:49You don't mind. What of course I don't
24:52Arrested do do you good?
24:56Means we'll have to put our schedule on ice for a week. Well, I'm afraid so
25:08You both got tickets for Saturday's party I can tell you're looking forward to it
25:16Hey boys see you and Marlene fancy something nice to eat
25:29I don't get much trade, but I do have a good laugh
25:32Bloody hell
25:33Hey trick, do you fancy a ticket tenner each? Yeah, right. Oh my
25:38What do you mean? Right? Oh, Mike, you don't even know what they're for
25:42It's bound to tell you on a ticket
25:50Every year as publicans we older a fancy dress ball, you know prizes the lot this year. It's old Harry Malcolm's turn
25:57He's the governor down at the crown and anchor. He's holding the party at his ass
26:01He's got a great barn of a place over on the common
26:03Hey, the first prize is a brand new stereo system worth over a thousand pounds. Yeah fancy dress
26:09I've only got my mohair suit and my best jumper perfect
26:14Did I tell you about my medal? Yeah three times yesterday and twice this morning
26:19Did I tell you Marlene? Yes, love you sent us a fax last night
26:28Oh
26:30What's a sweetheart
26:35Sandra get off. All right, then did she? Yeah. Yeah, just got back from the airport
26:39I am Raquel's a waiter. Hey, but you two will be out gallivanting Saturday night
26:44No, not all sweet. I'm a bugger born Vita a plate of toast a match of day for us Rogers in it. Oh heaven
26:50Nice
26:55No, that is Rodney you see it's not I know it looks like I know but it's not because it's complete writing
27:06Quite today in it. Yeah, but more life in one of these meat pies over there
27:11Come on, Michael. Give us a drink. Well, we'll log a top for Rodney and I'll have
27:16Bailey's and cherryade
27:19If they'll do fancy something to eat that's about a nice plate of beef stew. Oh, yeah
27:24Go on. I have some of that then to keep the cold out when it you won't be careful any old beef though
27:28Oh, shut up you brass. I don't know what you're worried about. I've been eating British people my life
27:42Egg and chips, please
27:46Something that was fresh this morning. All right, give him the daily mirror. Will you?
27:50You all right?
27:52All right, Dale boy
27:54Any luck? Yes, those of it Denzel all bad. I bumped into Paddy the Greek. Do you remember those nine carat?
28:0224 carat gold
28:05Well, apparently they've all been deported along with Ugandan Morris
28:10Why do you trust him with all that gold in the first place because he told me he was an exporter
28:15Yeah an exporter. It just had to say
28:19Life's one long struggle in it. I feel a bit like that King Farouk trying to hold back the tide
28:31What a kid to look after now, it's canoe. Yeah, you can say that again
28:37Yeah, do you want to buy a ticket for a publicans ball? Yeah, certainly which one left all right
28:44Your loss yes, well I've got to go the host is a fellow Mason
28:50Mind you lost you do was a good laugh. Well, I heard they're all ended up in a punch up
28:54Yes, it did. But during the struggle
28:57Marlene got a whack in the know
28:59You did nothing about it. Well, how could I you threw the first punch?
29:05Were you injured? No, fortunately makeup cushioned the blow
29:12I just remembered I supposed to take Cassie specimen of a clinic this morning
29:16I
29:19Gotta lift it in a kitchen on your worktop. That's all right. Don't worry. You can take it in tomorrow culture
29:23No, you don't understand. They mustn't be left in direct sunlight, right?
29:27You've got to find a cool dark spot where it won't be disturbed. How about Boise's pants?
29:39Everything's fine Raquel. Yeah, although there's no food in the fridge
29:43No, I'm not complaining you just have a nice time gal. All right. Oh, hold on. Hold on. I think Del's back
29:50Delroy
29:51Sorry
29:52You back out on the phone. Oh, right. Okay. No, tell us I'll take it in the bedroom. All right
29:58He's gonna take it in the bedroom. Love. See you soon. Bye. I
30:03Suppose your Cassandra be there by now. Yeah. Yes, you know landed about an hour
30:07I
30:10Don't know why you wear an ID bracelet men real men didn't wear them in my day
30:15I used to wear them dog tags around your neck. That was an ID necklace completely different
30:20To be honest with you. I don't really want to wear this thing, but I don't want to work Del's feelings. I understand boy
30:26Yeah
30:27During the war. No, I
30:30Had a mate who had exactly the same problem his mother bought him a gold watch and he hated it
30:36He didn't want to hurt no feelings. So what'd he do? Oh one night
30:40He went around all the pubs in Portsmouth fashion his gold watch about on the way back to his ship. He got mugged
30:46problem solved
30:48That was a good idea
30:50Lot of muggings going on around here Rodney Albert. I'm not seriously considering it as a viable option
30:57No, I'll just have to tell you be gentle
31:01Oh
31:05Look yeah, um about this thing. You gave me for me birthday. It's a beauty
31:13Well, yeah, but um
31:15I'll tell you what Raquel and Damian really having a nice time. They're getting on really well, you know, we've
31:21Mom and dad. Oh, oh, that's good, isn't it?
31:24Well, you didn't fancy going to make your common-law in laws in
31:28Well to be honest Rodney, yes, I did but
31:32Raquel didn't want me to go
31:34What she told you?
31:36Yeah
31:37now you see she was having a difficult time telling me and
31:41well, I
31:43Made up an excuse and let her off the hook. I
31:47Think that she thought I might embarrass her
31:54God what you mean that's silly
31:57Did you possibly embarrass her
32:02Hey, I'll tell you what, did you know that her old man is an antiques dealer?
32:06Yeah, I thought I might let him have a look at that Jacobean cine camera. We got in a garage
32:12What's right you were saying about the bracelet, oh no nothing I'm well pleased with it. Yeah, that's it
32:19You'll never forget your name now, will you?
32:21I
32:24Goes away for a few days this flat becomes a shambles
32:27There's nothing in the fridge the veggies on the turn and that apple juice is horrible
32:37He's a mugging old
32:39Cassandra specimens go
33:04I don't believe it. We're gonna tell Cassandra
33:09Are you tell her you tell her that um, you spilt it in the van when you went round the corner?
33:15I can't lie to Adele. All right, tell her I'm gonna drink it
33:22It's just one thing after another in it
33:26Rodney listen we go get out of here
33:28How do you mean?
33:29Well, listen, I've been thinking now that Cassandra's away in foreign climes and Raquel's had it away on a toast of Milton Keynes
33:37You know what tomorrow is don't you?
33:38It's the big party in it the publicans ball. So I was thinking while the mice are away the cats could go out and play
33:48Be like the old days rotters, I'm gonna be pulling birds are we we never pulled any birds in the
33:57Chance that we got now
33:59Come on. Hey, what do you say we say?
34:02Well, it's just a bit of armless fun, well, of course it is a couple of hours, you know sausage roll and a green
34:11First prize is only a stereo system worth
34:151,000 pounds
34:16What do they give prizes for well for the best fancy dress?
34:20fancy dress
34:22Hold on. I ain't going out dressed up like some zone
34:25Come on, Rodney. Look, it's only a laugh any we just pop down the ice tree get ourselves a couple of costumes
34:31Rodney I need your help to win this prize because you're the one with the GC ease in art
34:37You've got the flair and imagination
34:41Shall I tell you what? I'm imagining right now. Mm-hmm
34:43I'm imagining that since you knew Raquel was going away
34:47You've been planning on going to this party and trying to win that stereo all along
34:52How dare you
34:55If only your mother could hear you now, is that what you really think of me
35:01Here I am in my child and my wife
35:04Gone away for what is obviously a demanding and draining weekend and all you can think of is. Oh, that's all right
35:09Del Boy can go out for a jolly up
35:11That's it. Is it that's what you think of Del Boy
35:14shallow as a worm's grave
35:24You know, I just thought it was
35:27Oh, you know, I just seemed to be I'm bleeding
35:39I'm sorry, then
35:42All right, your apology is accepted. Oh
35:48Don't I just remembered this dough is an old ticket affair. Oh, I know I got us a couple as we were leaving
35:57I feel stupid. I don't know how we got out of the estate without being seen
36:02Worry, we'll be there in a minute. Yeah, but then we go get undressed like this
36:07Who's gonna see us at five o'clock in the morning?
36:11Five in the morning you said we was only gone for a couple of hours. Yeah
36:15But you know
36:23Must be something wrong
36:25Mechanically minded like you
36:27Very funny
36:29All right. I'll open a bonnet. You go and have a look at the engine
36:33I'm not carrying out dress like this. You have a look. It's your van
36:45I
37:06Like talking here
37:15I
37:21Just trying to see if there's any petrol coming through
37:31No blows the kingdom come
37:35There's no petrol coming through is there must be some sort of a blockage I mean, that's why we've broken down
37:45Will you get back inside the van I don't want people seeing you just like that
38:04Well, what are we gonna do now then I I don't know Derek
38:09We are sat in the middle of Peckham at 1030 dressed up as Batman and Robin
38:14It was you it was you who chose these costumes I want to go to Blues Brothers
38:19We were still broken down and be in this embarrassing situation when we oh, yeah
38:25Yeah, we'd have been wearing suits and ties. Yeah, right couple of zooms. We'd have looked
38:31We'd have never won first prize as the Blues Brothers no, but at least we could have walked home
38:39Look just just shut up and try to think of a way out of this. All right. Let's just think about it
38:53We phone the RAC
38:56Yes, and we asked to get put through to the broken-down was dressed as a couple of Pratt's department
39:08All right, then the police I'll leave it out Rodney we never live it down our lives would be hell
39:14We would have to emigrate
39:17Particular moment girl that doesn't sound like a bad alternative
39:24Pubs are gonna be chucking out soon. They'll tear us to shreds
39:27What?
39:30Harry's place is nearer than our places. Do you know we could be there in five minutes if we ran
39:38We'll be seen
39:40We need be seen. All the streets are empty look at me at the moment
39:44But I guarantee the second I step out of this van a thousand people are gonna pour out
39:51Go have a place where a thousand people are
39:56No
39:57Not if we go through the back streets and the back alleys
40:00Because the only people there are the winos and the crackheads and they and let's face it
40:04They see Batman and Robin every night
40:09Five minutes five minutes, that's all we run
40:24I'm going now Tom. I'll see you out
40:29Good night, councillor Murray. Good night, Tom
40:38I
40:49Sorry miss you seen a policeman Randy. No, I haven't good
41:08What's happening
41:39Yes
41:42Recognize you from your photograph
41:45Jerry Trotter, you may remember me. I wrote to you some time ago about
42:08Oh
42:22What's a view to cameras
42:27Ignoring Rodney, will you just ignore him?
42:31Come on where is everyone straight through there?
42:34Okay
42:36You are gonna win nothing just like that
42:39You see that brothers that we come as Batman and Robin the voices come as the penguin
42:50Not the penguin more like the Joker
42:53I
43:00Was really caught up yesterday when I heard about your dad you're asking
43:05Still at least he didn't suffer. No, he he had a good innings and uh,
43:10They've been well chuffed to see all his family and friends turn up for his weight like this
43:13Oh
43:22Derek Harry died yesterday Harry
43:35Why didn't you tell us that there instead of letting us come in here like that, you know, I mean we was going
43:43Please let my mind strange what grief can do
43:53They'll done if you remember me, I'm Kenny Harry son
43:58Yes. Yes, of course. Of course. I remember you. Yeah. Yeah, I found around everyone. I tell me the party was off
44:03I must have left four or five messages on your answer machine
44:06Obviously you didn't go and know that the machines playing up a bit. I'm gonna throw that bloody machine away when we get on
44:15Kenny I am I am really sorry about this. Don't be silly. The old man's most probably up there now and a bloody good laugh
44:20That's all
44:22You'll stay won't you?
44:26Of course we're gonna stay drink Santa week. Yeah. All right. Cheers
44:36I
44:53Knew Harriet died. That's why we came dressed as Batman and bingy. Yes. I
45:03Suppose the prize givings off now
45:06All
45:08Right Dale Dave
45:11Bit of a choker Oh Harry popping off like that name. Yeah. Oh, we didn't even know the fancy dress party had been cancelled me neither
45:23That's your costume yeah, I'll come as a chauffeur
45:29Feel a bit stupid now
45:32Now you come to mention it you do stand out a bit
45:36I'm gonna cheer up the widow
45:42I don't think you and Dale would have won first prize. No, no, you're all right, but Dale don't know nothing like Tonto
45:57Designed cycle helmets as worn by Chris Baldwin and his cousin Stan
46:02Hey, look at that beautiful
46:04No, right. Okay, then. What else we got here? I'll tell you what we've got
46:07Look at this baseball cap straight from LA as worn by MC Hammer. Oh, yes
46:14These they are madam buy one for your kid for Christmas. Yeah, they'll look lovely in his stocking. I'll tell you that
46:20What else do we go? Oh, yes, what we've got here. Look at this. We've got the unisex
46:25I
46:27Buy one for your son buy one for your daughter
46:34Dale
46:36Oh
47:00Take it easy. Hey, look someone call an ambulance for it. Will you also call the police?
47:06Wait
47:36I
48:06I
48:36Oh
49:06Daisy
49:08We read and we hear about so-called have-a-go heroes, but we very rarely have the honor of meeting one
49:14Well, I'm proud to say that here in Peckham. We have our very own have-a-go hero
49:19And so it is my great honor and privilege to present this medal for bravery
49:25to Derek
49:26Trotter
49:37Batman it's a trotter. Can I have a couple of pictures launch to launch to?
49:45Come you got metal I did all the running. Yes. I know but you were running away from me. I
49:54Was not running away from him actually I was I was just
49:59Luring him. Will you enough learning fasting you shot past me like him for crispy
50:06Minus that poodle that he keeps down his shorts, of course
50:10Could you mind out of the way, please sir, just could you mind out of way, please run you're costing a shadow on the hero
50:22Why didn't you get a medal Rodney? Hey, uh, no, they offered me one but I said I wanted to remind anonymous
50:36Mr. Trotter councillor Murray, we met the night you addressed as Batman
50:45I've never been so frightened in my life. It was only a costume
50:51No, I mean terrified of that awful gang of muggers. Oh, see, yes still they're behind bars now. Thanks to you
50:57No, don't mention it. If ever there's anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to call me
51:01Well, thank you very much indeed. Thank you
51:04Counselor Murray, um
51:07As a matter of fact there is a little something that you might be able to help me out with
51:13Do you think we could have a little chat? Of course come this way
51:18Kushti
51:21Well, we're gonna have to cut this one out for the old family album Trotter's never won a medal before
51:26Well now it's one three or four dozen
51:30I think he's the word man could have mentioned Rodney. I
51:34Mean, why didn't they say men?
51:37Yeah, Rodney was there as well. They do mention him here
51:41Mr. Trotter was aided in the capture of the muggers by his younger brother Rooney
51:47Come on ladies and gentlemen, come on charge your glasses
51:56Because I have got something to say on this auspicious occasion
52:01That is not only am I the only Trotter to win a medal without getting wet?
52:08But this is a double celebration
52:11You told them. Oh, I never I swear
52:13How'd you not find out find out what you mean you don't know no
52:19Well in that case, let me just say that if in the near future
52:23anybody wants to buy a Cassandra and I some
52:26Mother care vouchers. They will come in bloody handy. Oh
52:31Yes
52:43Oh
52:47Please for your son. I know you've been through hell to get there
52:55Little cousin for Damien to play with
53:00Wait a minute you said this was a double celebration before you found out about Cassandra being pregnant. So what else are we celebrating?
53:07Oh, that's right
53:08Then it's a treble celebration
53:10Well, cuz you know that I was turned down for my home improvement grant by the council
53:15Well, they have changed their minds and sent me a check for five thousand pounds
53:21Yes, what can't speak can't lie signed by councillor Murray
53:27It's not a bad old world, is it bruv
53:33Lovely jubbly