Frasier Season 10 Episode 7 Bristle While You Work
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00:00you looked in the classifieds under housekeepers and you asked people in your building check and
00:05you called the employment agencies again check i heard you the first time
00:15i thought it'd be so hard to get someone to clean your house well over the years daphne has managed
00:20to scour her way into our hearts so to speak just to want to hire somebody who's in it for only the
00:27money so you want to find someone who's in it for the joy of cleaning
00:34oh may i oh of course oh nice outfit ross somehow you and a peasant blouse just go together
00:44thanks haven't worn it for years how long can something stay in the closet
00:50say uh gill um are you pleased with your housekeeper oh you mean chung oh yes he's
01:04marvelous he's efficient he's dependable and he still hasn't figured out american money
01:09between you and me i told him when they made lincoln's picture bigger it was worth more
01:15oh my god very funny do you suppose that your man friday might be available on a monday or
01:23tuesday you want to steal my chung no no not not steal him just just borrow him for a day or two
01:29a week until i can restaff oh a dangerous notion frazier you know how employees gossip about their
01:36benefactors well i have nothing to hide yes but suppose while on your premises he let something
01:41slip about me and deb at our heart-shaped bed i would refuse to believe him
01:51did i mention he's a drug mule oh he is not
01:55just saying that because you don't want to help me out ah such insight
01:59it's really more people don't listen to your show
02:01you
02:08thank you for coming mrs brookins of course we have several other candidates to interview but
02:13i'll be sure to let you know by the 12th
02:18of never
02:24honestly i'm beginning to wonder if we'll ever find anyone that meets our standards
02:28you're being too picky it's just housekeeping not rocket science i beg to differ you don't
02:35even know half of what i used to do around here like dusting the plant leaves or rotating your
02:41underwear excuse me every month i used to throw out your oldest pair and put in two new pairs
02:50did it ever occur to you that you never had to buy underwear in 10 years
02:59i thought i got hold of a good batch
03:05now let's see who is our front runner thus far oh i don't know they're all the same to me
03:12honestly dad you know i'm starting to get the slightest bit chapped with your attitude you
03:17haven't even graded any of the candidates you've simply doodled a war plane dropping bombs on a
03:22soldier that's not a soldier well then why is he wearing a helmet that's not a helmet
03:30it's someone with a big head
03:39yes hi i'm trish haney i'm here about the housekeeper job i'm really sorry i'm late
03:45i had you down for over an hour ago i know i got stuck in line waiting to buy tickets for
03:50the sonics game this weekend really come on in i should have guessed everyone in his brother
03:57would want to see vince carter play not everybody or his brother
04:04oh this is a beautiful place here's my resume oh thank you won't you be seated
04:10all right dr frazier crane this is my father martin crane and this is my sister-in-law
04:15now i'll get right to the interview first question
04:21what is the best way to combat rings on a wooden table um i've heard you can rub mayonnaise on it
04:33the best way is to provide coasters
04:36um you have to have someone body up on him and then double team when he gets the ball
04:41thank you
04:46trish if the washing machine has a 25 minute cycle and the dryer has a 40 minute cycle
04:53what time does the second load have to go in the washer to be dry by five o'clock
04:59well that's 65 minutes so 355 you may want to take some time to think about these questions
05:08she's right
05:09well done
05:12hey i got a question can you clean the house yes and if i do say so myself i'm pretty good
05:19next question can you start monday
05:20She's right
05:25Well done
05:28Hey, I got a question, can you clean the house? Yes, and if I do say so myself, I'm pretty good next question
05:36Can you start Monday?
05:39We're getting just a bit ahead of ourselves
05:44Several people to me. Oh, thank you for coming by. Oh sure. That was the interview, huh? Two questions
05:49Well, it was really more of a pre-screening. We'll be sure to let you know. Okay. Thanks
05:54Um, just so you know, I'll be out of town till the first fine, then I'll be sure to call you the second. I
06:03Lose my mind
06:07What what was wrong with her in the first place she showed up late she doesn't take the interview seriously
06:14How can we expect her to take the job?
06:16Seriously, you just don't like it because she's not all stuffy. She did seem a bit cheeky
06:22Which you never were
06:26Well, I'm afraid so far our best candidate is the young man from Jeepers Sweepers
06:37I will move out of you hire that prancing moron
06:42All right, fine. Who would you hire this this this Trish I suppose
06:46Well, I was right about Daphne doesn't that count for anything?
06:49You didn't even want to hire her. You thought she might steal
06:58Did you really say that of course not I don't remember
07:05Well, whoever gets hired is someone I'm gonna have to spend a lot of time with and I don't need a lot of quiz
07:11Questions and scoresheets to get a feel for someone's character. Did I look like a thief? Was it me shift the eyes?
07:20Well, you don't trust my judgment Frazier just have the guts to say no, all right fine
07:25You can hire whoever you want to you want this Trish fine. Call it, right?
07:30Right now and tell her she's hired and I'll tell her where you keep your valuables
07:36Would you give it a rest
07:41In aisles have a seat. Thank you. I'll have my usual. Oh, no
07:49bottled water room temperature
07:55Slow down little man. What are we celebrating? I
08:00Can't drink anything that's too hot. I have a toothache
08:03You've been to the dentist. Yes, but he said the the tooth is perfectly healthy. I still have this
08:09Dropping pain. I think I may have to go to a doctor. Oh, it's probably just a sinus infection
08:14Have you had a cold lately a couple of weeks ago? Yes, but I'm over it
08:18It's probably what it is a sinus infection happens to me all the time
08:22All likelihood. I'm sure you're right. Thank you. Of course. I'm right. What else could it be?
08:28Actually, the toothache can be referred pain from something else
08:33referred pain
08:35That's right, for example, if I had a heart condition, I might not have pain in my chest
08:39I might have pain in my tooth you see referred pain
08:45So you're probably right about the sinus infection
08:49Let's not discount the one in 10,000 chance that it might be something more serious. Oh
08:55Now I get it so the pain my butt might actually be coming from across the table
09:06Something like that. Yes. Oh look, I'm the winner of a fanny pack
09:16Congratulations, you have no idea what it is. Do you not really know?
09:22Look it says here the odds of winning it or one in ten thousand. Ooh
09:31Spooky
09:34Same odds, is that toothache being a heart attack? Maybe it's a sign
09:39It's a good sign by beating those odds once it makes it that much more unlikely that something so improbable can happen to me again
09:47Niles
09:51Hello
09:59Okay, that's weird
10:04You
10:06So that's the grand tour
10:10Hard to know where to start. I don't have much time before I have to go
10:15What you leaving already? Yeah, I have this lunch thing. I hope you don't mind
10:20Well, the problem is it's this brand that I've been putting off because I've been too busy
10:24But now I finally don't have any excuse. We're gonna try that new rib place down in Belltown. Oh, I hear that's great
10:30Yeah, I can bring you back a great big bag of them
10:36I've got dishes to do
10:39Can I offer suggestion you're the boss
10:41What Daphne did was put a load of laundry in first and that way you can do two things at once
10:47Okay
10:48Although I prefer to do laundry at the end of the day and that way I can read when the clothes are in the dryer
10:54I mean, it's about the only me time I have on this job
11:00Hey dad ready for breakfast. Well, thanks for the invite, but I can't go
11:06Well, we didn't invite you you called us and badgered us until we rearranged our schedule
11:11Yeah, well that was before Trish came. I really think I should hang around show the ropes
11:16Maybe you should show where the room freshener is. It smells like stale cigars
11:20Yeah, I had some of the guys in last night for poker. Oh, hey Niles
11:26Check this out. Got a great new card trick. Oh goody. Yeah
11:33It's called the amazing Niles or the amazing
11:38Whoever you're doing the trick with like I was doing it with Daphne. It'd be the amazing Daphne
11:45Doing the Frasier. It'd be the amazing Frasier. Yeah, I get it
11:50That's just my pattern, okay
11:53Okay, amazing Niles, I want you to draw the ace of spades out of this deck
12:01Something tells me that it's going to be this one right here
12:06Ladies and gentlemen, he drew the ace of spades
12:10Amazing amazing Niles, there's not a great trick. Hey
12:14Wait a minute. How come this deck only has aces of spades? What? No, this is
12:23Wait a minute, this isn't the trick deck. Holy cow
12:35You just drew the card I asked you for what are the odds? I wonder if you could do it again
12:43No, no, no, no only only one performance a day
12:47Oh
12:57You know since we're not going to have breakfast maybe we should go
13:03All right
13:04That way we can pick up your car from the shop. What happened to your car?
13:10Got struck by lightning
13:17Washers running as we speak anything else before I go you're going to lunch now. It's only 10 already
13:23Oh, yes, the dishes will have to wait
13:26I've got a couple of errands to run and then I have a hair appointment
13:30Trish I'm a little surprised that you're taking off like this. You know, I'm a little surprised too
13:35I thought my first day would be more like orientation, you know
13:39Show me around explain my duties and then I start work the next day
13:43Why would you think that well, it's been that way every other place that I've worked and I've had a lot of jobs
13:51Well, listen Trish I kind of went out on a limb for you and I'll never hear the end of it for my son
13:57If you let me down, don't worry. You are not gonna regret hiring me tomorrow morning. I'll be like the white tornado
14:04Remember those commercials white tornado? That'll be me 10 o'clock. So you're not coming back after lunch. Oh, trust me
14:10You don't want me cleaning this place drunk
14:13Oh
14:15And that reminds me I don't work Mondays gosh, you know, I better get going if I'm late to this lunch
14:21How's that gonna look? What about the laundry?
14:2310 o'clock tomorrow along with those ribs
14:30Well
14:32Hear the washer going I assume that means our new employee is hard at it. Oh, yeah. She's like the white tornado
14:41You know your basketball references go right over my head
14:46No
14:48Certainly got her work cut out for cleaning up this mess you and your buddies made last you don't have to worry about it
14:54She's all about the work
14:57Listen dad. I
15:00Think I owe you an apology for what? Well, they're thinking I was a better judge of people than you are
15:06Just want you to know that I do trust your judgment
15:10Maybe I don't say that often enough. I mean, I hope you can forgive me. There's nothing to forgive son
15:19I'll see you later
15:26Not now boy, we've got an apartment to claim
15:30You
15:39Hi Niles, how's it going? I'm as good as dead
15:44I've been doing research into my family health history. My great uncle Timothy keeled over from a heart attack at my age
15:54Bottled water, please
15:57Are
15:59You talking about that tooth again? It's still throbbing. Thank you, which means my heart is probably on its last legs
16:08Niles you said it was one in a million chance one in 10,000 and I've been beating those odds all week
16:15I don't believe in omens, but these are getting harder and harder to ignore
16:20So are you?
16:22I flipped a coin 17 times last night and every time it came up tails. I only stopped because I was getting a blister
16:31How does Daphne put up with all this I haven't told her about it because unlike you she'd worry about me
16:38Get your heart checked and stop obsessing about it. I'm going to
16:44No probability. There's a there's a perfectly reasonable expert
16:48I
16:51Want another fanny pack
16:58No, I'm not mad at you Trish I'm just a little disappointed
17:03Well yesterday was your neighbor's funeral and today you got the flu
17:10No, I kind of believe you but
17:13You know, this apartment doesn't clean itself so I'm huh
17:19Okay tomorrow nine sharp
17:23Ten okay. Well, I'll see you when you get here
17:43No, maybe you can have Trish waxes this floor tomorrow she already did it took her two hours
17:52And it just took you two seconds to mess it up and start complaining
17:56I'm not complaining there. But look at the streaks here. So she never waxed the floor before
18:03All you do is nag nag nag
18:06Meanwhile, she tried a new fabric softener on your sweater and you didn't even notice. Well, my sweaters are supposed to be dry-cleaned. Oh
18:15Oh
18:16I'm gonna say something to her about flipping my mattress. What the hell are you trying to do killer?
18:25Easy easy dad
18:29There's no reason to get all riled up. My god, you're actually perspiring
18:32Well, I just think some people around here don't realize how hard she works
18:38Well, I'll say this much the place does smell lemony fresh
18:46Shows what you know, it's country breeze
18:54Daphne I have to go out for a while
19:02Place out of the ordinary just out. Okay. See you later. I
19:16Can't believe this is happening
19:19after all those misspent years of frustration and yearning I
19:24Finally find the fulfillment of my dreams
19:27Only to have it snatched away
19:30And look at her she's so beautiful so perfect
19:39She deserves nothing but happiness I
19:43hope
19:44When I'm gone
19:46She's able to make a life with someone else
19:51After a suitable period of mourning, of course
19:53Niles
19:56Yes, my love when are you gonna change the paper in the bottom of the birdcage?
20:00Hmm. I've asked you three times already
20:04Soon as I get back
20:08Maybe when I'm gone her majesty can muck out her own birdcage
20:12Her majesty can muck out her own birdcage
20:19Hey free, sorry to bother you Trish was wondering where you keep the silver polish
20:26Right. I told her about that tarnish on your shrimp fork
20:32She suggested a place you could keep that where the air won't get to it
20:37All right
20:39Perhaps she and I should have a discussion about that. What are you doing here?
20:43Well, my lunch canceled. I thought I might drop by see if you'd like to join me for a bite
20:46Oh sure, I'd love to let me get my coat. All right. I'll just tell Trish we're leaving
20:52What is she? Oh?
20:54She's in the powder room. Let's go
20:57Actually, I'd rather wait dad. You see I wanted to discuss a new vacuuming pattern with her
21:02I
21:04Think this might not be a good time that shrimp fork thing really set her off
21:09She kind of went to pieces locked herself in there
21:12she did I
21:14Had no idea she was so fragile. Well, she'll get over it. She just needs to be alone for a while
21:21She'll be fine
21:23Bye Trish. No, no dad. You know what if I've hurt her feelings and it is incumbent upon me to apologize
21:30Trish it's dr. Crane. Could you come out here, please? I'd like to have a word with you
21:40The old silent treatment well to complain that game let's go
21:45Why don't you talk to her I don't think please dad she likes you, please
21:56Trish
21:57Hi, it's Marty
21:59Listen, I know you're upset, but I'd like to talk to you
22:04Yeah
22:06Would you unlock the door
22:20All right, just take all the time you need
22:24Accepted your apology, but she just wants to be alone for a little while. So, uh, let's go
22:31Dad, I really should apologize to her in person. Well, I don't think this is the time. Why not?
22:38Well, you have been pretty critical. Well, you know, I also think that she's made some real improvements around here
22:45I tell her that
22:53She
23:00Wants an example
23:11How should I know make something up for no wonder she's mad you ungrateful son of a bitch
23:23Oh
23:27See you later
23:33Well now I think you've made things worse it wouldn't surprise me if she didn't come in tomorrow
23:54You didn't tell me you had a sister
24:04All right, what the hell is going on no idea I just came by for my paycheck
24:09Well, I got some bad news about that Trish. I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to let you go
24:16Okay, but you still owe me for the days I was supposed to be here last week sure
24:21Sure, and there'll be a check in the mail sometime after the first
24:28Asteroid hits earth
24:37Okay, lay it on me I'm I'm prepared for the worst is it my heart I'm afraid so
24:45Ha
24:49What
24:52There is an anomaly in your EKG, I'm gonna have to check you into the hospital. Oh
24:59Well, hmm, uh, I guess I can clear my schedule how's how's tomorrow afternoon? No Niles
25:07You need to go right now
25:15You
25:18Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:25Mercy and maybe I seem a bit confused. Well, maybe but I got you
25:35But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:42They're calling again
25:45Good