The Jeremy Kyle Show (10 Feb 2017)
Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:00You are watching On Demand. Please do not try to vote or enter any competition or other interactivity in this programme, as it may not count and you may still be charged.
00:10On today's show, 13 years with Rosemary.
00:14Yes, that's correct, yes.
00:15She's kissed two other people, which leads you to believe that she's having an affair. Why do you think that? Have you got any proof at all?
00:22Only that she admitted to herself.
00:26Have you kissed anybody?
00:27I think, yes, at the very start of the year.
00:32Did you know about that, Rosemary?
00:34Aye, two.
00:35Aye, two.
00:36What, two what?
00:37Two flipping women.
00:38You've kissed two flipping women?
00:40Yes, at the start of the relationship.
00:42Well, maybe that's why she's kissed two blokes.
00:45Aye, Rosemary.
00:48He always tries to relate to get his leg over. How can I sleep with someone that's kissing me every day?
00:53Hey, why do you think I've done a lady-taker? That's why I've done a lady-taker in the programme that I haven't done.
01:00He came out of the shop with his hand around another woman.
01:02He told her that you were his sister?
01:04Yeah.
01:06I can tell straight away you've got a...
01:11Proof of point?
01:12What do you want about your proof of point?
01:14Does it look like I take drugs? Look.
01:16Did you?
01:17Come here, look, look.
01:18No, I'm not.
01:19Does it look like I take drugs? Do you know me?
01:24APPLAUSE
01:39Thank you, my friends. Good morning, and as ever, a big, big welcome to the show.
01:42Now, my first guest today, Trevor, says that he's desperate to find out whether his fiancée of 12 years has basically cheated on him.
01:48He says that shortly into their relationship, Rosemary admitted to kissing another man.
01:53Despite forgiving her for the betrayal, he was devastated to find out just two months ago that she'd done it again.
01:59And suspects she might be having an affair.
02:01He's now convinced that Rosemary will fail the lie detector and says that if she does, the relationship is over for good.
02:06This guy is nervous. This guy apparently doesn't know what's going to happen.
02:09Neither do I. That makes two of us.
02:11Trevor's on The Jeremy Carl Show, that way!
02:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:23Hello.
02:25How are you?
02:26What?
02:27How are you?
02:28How are you?
02:29A bit nervous.
02:30Are you?
02:31Yeah.
02:32I'm nervous too, Trevor. Welcome to the show.
02:3313 years with Rosemary.
02:35Yes, that's correct, yes.
02:36Oh, bless you. You are nervous, aren't you?
02:38Don't worry, what could be...
02:39Oh, shut up, you. Get a job.
02:41Don't worry. Listen, this lot should be at work.
02:43When I met Rosemary, it was love at first...
02:45Where did she meet?
02:47She met at a bar in Ballymoney.
02:49Sorry?
02:50A bar in Ballymoney.
02:51A bar in Ballymoney?
02:52Yeah.
02:53Um, yet a year...
02:55Well, basically, it was love at first sight.
02:57Did you move in together quite quickly?
02:59Yes, we did, yes.
03:00Yeah? And you love her?
03:01Yeah, I do.
03:02You said the sex at the beginning was amazing.
03:04You were, like, at it all the time.
03:06Yeah.
03:07Were you?
03:08Yeah.
03:09Apparently, if you told me about it, you'd make me blush. Is that right?
03:12No.
03:14Nothing makes me blush, buddy.
03:17So tell me about how good it was at the beginning.
03:19It was fantastic.
03:20Was it everywhere?
03:21No, not everywhere.
03:22Any time, any place, anywhere?
03:24More or less.
03:25Really? Dirty man.
03:27All of a sudden, she admits to kissing another bloke, and it all goes wrong.
03:30Yep.
03:31And how did she find out? Did you find out from her, or...?
03:34I actually found out from a relative, and then I confronted her that particular night,
03:39and she confessed, as she did.
03:41I think it's really easy sometimes.
03:44I think it's really easy sometimes.
03:46We sit here and...
03:47She doesn't look very happy, does she?
03:50She was nervous before. She looks all right. Act tough now.
03:53Listen, the thing is, it's really easy, right, for us to sit here.
03:56This lot should be at work. I know it's nerve-wracking. I know it's your life.
03:59You say, she hasn't slept with me for ages, over a year.
04:03She makes any excuse to be out.
04:06Some time ago, she admitted to kissing somebody again.
04:09For you, disaster.
04:11Yes, it was a disaster.
04:12Who rang the show?
04:13Rosemary said.
04:14Why would she ring a show? She was telling the truth.
04:16Do a lie detector to prove she hasn't done anything.
04:18She wanted to prove herself, but there was nothing.
04:20Why don't you believe that?
04:21You tell my team she flirts with everybody.
04:23She hasn't flirted with me. Who's she flirting with?
04:25Sometimes she flirts with other people when we're out.
04:28You tell my team she's always out.
04:30Not all the time, but when she does go out,
04:32times that we never are out and stuff.
04:34Can I say something that I'm not allowed to say?
04:36Yes.
04:37In your life, if somebody treats you in a way that is not acceptable,
04:40grow a pair and tell them that unless they change,
04:43you're going to walk in the opposite direction, because life's too short.
04:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:52If you allow people to get away with what you find disrespectful
04:56or just not acceptable enough,
04:58you end up being under the thumb a little bit.
05:00Are you under the thumb?
05:02I wouldn't say...
05:03She's kissed two other people,
05:05which leads you to believe that she's having an affair.
05:08Why do you think that? Have you got any proof at all?
05:11Only that she's admitted to it herself.
05:13She's admitted to an affair?
05:15No. She kissed another man.
05:17Why didn't you walk away the first time she did that, then?
05:19Why did you accept it?
05:21I suppose I'm too soft. I'm in love with her.
05:23Have you kissed anybody?
05:24I did, yes, the way it started.
05:29Did you know about that, Rosemary?
05:32Hey, T, he kissed...
05:34What, two what?
05:35Two flippin' women.
05:36You kissed two flippin' women?
05:38Yeah, the way it started the relationship.
05:40Well, maybe that's why she's kissed two blokes.
05:42What am I doing with my life?
05:43But...
05:44But what?
05:46It wasn't actually...
05:47The very first time when I started getting suspicious
05:49was actually when I...
05:51You kissed two women.
05:52Yes, but...
05:53She kissed two men.
05:54But...
05:55You don't trust each other.
05:56Where's she doing now? What's she...
05:57Oh, here comes...
05:58Give Graham a round of applause.
05:59He's arrived, ladies and gentlemen.
06:01Where's she gone now?
06:02Where's she gone now?
06:05Where's she gone now?
06:07Why is she going...
06:08Oi, Rosemary!
06:10Honest, the things I have to put up with.
06:12Right, do you love this woman?
06:13Yes, I do.
06:14Do you?
06:15And what if she fails the lie detector?
06:18Dunno.
06:19That's what I mean!
06:20She could do anything, couldn't she?
06:21You'd say, I love you.
06:23Grow a pair if she treats you badly, right?
06:25Do one.
06:26I'm gonna get her.
06:27Going to a break.
06:28Back in a minute.
06:29You kissed two people.
06:30Did you tell her?
06:32Yes, she called me.
06:36How did you catch him?
06:37I walked down the hall.
06:39What does he admit with that woman, the 50-year-old, four years ago?
06:44He just had personal feelings, not the basic ones.
06:46Did you have a threesome that night?
06:48No, did you?
06:49Did you like to have a threesome with someone?
06:53Have you been accused of cheating?
06:54Do you need to prove your innocence with a lie detector?
06:58If you're 18 or over and you want to be considered for the show,
07:00text the word TALK TODAY plus your name to 63334.
07:03Text costs £25.
07:05Text your name to 63334.
07:07Text costs £25 plus one standard rate message.
07:10You can call my team today.
07:11It's 09011.
07:13It's 123456.
07:15Calls cost £25 plus your network access charge.
07:18Or email TALKATITV.COM to get in touch with one of my team.
07:31Thank you very much indeed, welcome back.
07:32Excuse me, out of the way.
07:33What was that all about?
07:34I'm a very busy man, what are you running off for?
07:35He's lying.
07:36Well then get out there and tell him I'm not running around here the whole time.
07:39What is wrong with you people?
07:41Why is he lying about?
07:42He's lying the night there because he turned round the night there
07:45and he kissed the person at the start of the relationship.
07:47And then he kissed another person before I even,
07:49don't even stop and kiss the second man.
07:51Then get out there and confront him.
07:53What is this?
07:54I'm sick and tired.
07:55Oh, my knee's gone.
07:56Come on.
07:57Hurry up.
07:58Less mold sucking.
07:59Come, come, come, come, come.
08:00You're sick and I'm not alright.
08:02I don't like that.
08:03I'm sure you don't but it's a television show.
08:05Get out there and talk to him.
08:06Go on.
08:07Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.
08:08Rose was on the show.
08:09Come on, Rose.
08:13Right, let's cut to the chase.
08:14Just do my head in.
08:15You kissed two people.
08:17Did you tell her?
08:18Yes.
08:19Straight away?
08:20She caught me once.
08:21What?
08:22She caught me.
08:25How did you catch him?
08:26I walked down on him.
08:27Where was he?
08:28In my kitchen.
08:30He was snogging somebody in your kitchen?
08:32Yeah.
08:34A friend of hers.
08:35Your girlfriend had a friend of yours?
08:38Yeah.
08:39Getting it out now, aren't we, eh?
08:42Why were you kissing a friend of hers?
08:43Come on, Trev.
08:44I'll be honest.
08:45The whole suspicious thing all started when I was...
08:47No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
08:49Why were you kissing a friend in the kitchen?
08:53Where were you?
08:54I was in the living room.
08:55What did you do?
08:56Why did you stay with him?
08:57Why did you put up with that?
08:58Told him to get out.
08:59Did you?
09:00Did he go?
09:01Yeah.
09:02The first time around and that there,
09:03we both dared each other to snog her best friend.
09:05Well, that's what we done.
09:09How old are you two?
09:1011?
09:11I mean, darling, I don't mean to be rude,
09:13but it's like tit-for-tat school playground.
09:15It's not fair.
09:16I'll be having something flippant accusing me.
09:17Then tell him.
09:18Stop looking at...
09:19He already knows.
09:20Well, why don't you open your mouth, then?
09:28Here's the thing you need to know.
09:30The Jeremy Carl Show is a talk show where people speak.
09:33Otherwise, the host implodes!
09:36The reason I accuse her is because we fall out,
09:39and that's why I accuse her.
09:40That's the only time I accuse her.
09:42He says you've stopped...
09:43You've stopped, um...
09:44He always tries to run out to get his leg over.
09:46How can I sleep with someone that's accusing me
09:48every day of the week?
09:49Why do you think I don't allow you to hate her?
09:51That's why I don't allow you to hate her,
09:52to prove to him that I haven't done...
09:54You say I feel ugly and insecure,
09:57and he's permanently at me,
09:58and how on earth would I feel attractive?
10:00How on earth would I feel that I wanted anything to do with him
10:03when he treats me like that?
10:04I can't do it any more. Is that right?
10:06Tell him. Talk to him.
10:08He keeps accusing me all the time,
10:09and you expect me to sleep with you
10:11and be intimate with you
10:12whenever you're still accusing me.
10:14And he thinks, let's be honest, cut to the chase,
10:16you must be getting it somewhere else.
10:18That's what you think, isn't it?
10:19Have you told her that?
10:21Yes. I says, why promise me and let me down?
10:24Promise you what?
10:25She promised me evenings together,
10:27and she'll be...
10:28Oh, she promised to have sex with you?
10:29Yeah.
10:30She's a woman!
10:31And she promised me...
10:32She's a woman!
10:33Yeah.
10:34You don't get your woman to say,
10:35I promise I'm going to sleep with you.
10:37Actually, let's just hold on.
10:38Hold on a minute. Hold on a minute.
10:39Hold on a minute. Hold on a minute.
10:41Steve, you are...
10:44You are fast becoming...
10:46You're fast becoming a bit of a pin-up.
10:48We've talked about doing an oiled Steve calendar.
10:51CHEERING
10:54You're in a relationship.
10:56Don't back away.
10:57I don't like it.
10:58I know you don't like it, but do you...
11:00You're very red, by the way.
11:01Do you, like, set out a sexual agenda?
11:04Right, I'm getting embarrassed now, please.
11:06You want me to go away?
11:08So, basically, he shouldn't try and plan it, no?
11:11No, no.
11:12He should just let it happen, naturally.
11:14Round of applause for Big Steve.
11:16CHEERING
11:18Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve.
11:23You're engaged, aren't you?
11:25Why?
11:27I took my ring off a couple of days ago.
11:29You took your ring off? Yeah.
11:31Trev, I know this probably sounds a little bit harsh,
11:34but you don't really inspire me.
11:36You might well be nervous, but you come out here and you say,
11:39I don't trust this woman, and she's kissed two other men,
11:43and yet I see a woman who has made a couple of mistakes
11:46and then it comes out you've done the same.
11:48And I look at this relationship and I just think,
11:50you're 41 and 37 and you're wasting time and your lives.
11:53Just, I don't understand it.
11:55Maybe I'm a bit old-fashioned.
11:57If you're with somebody and it makes you miserable,
12:00why the hell don't you do one?
12:02If you stay around and...
12:04I don't understand. Talk to me.
12:08You what?
12:09They want to try and make a relationship.
12:11Do you trust him? Yes, I do, yes.
12:13I never asked him to do any lie detector and he hasn't done one.
12:15You haven't done a lie detector?
12:17She never asked me to. It was her decision.
12:19She wanted to do it herself.
12:21She wanted to do her own lie detector.
12:23The reason I didn't ask you to do one is because a flippin' will trust you.
12:26I know that, but I told you... Even after you've done that?
12:29But listen, I said to you... But I'm going to go for it.
12:31I'm going to bring out a flippin' do one.
12:33Hold on a minute, did I ask you to do it?
12:35Are you flippin' Morgan and pass it? Yeah, a flippin' will I am.
12:38Why are you angry with me? I'm not.
12:40Why would I be angry with you?
12:42Why are you wanking at me for? Sorry?
12:45What do you mean, why am I wanking?
12:47You've been wanking at Steve, you always take everything out.
12:50He's a poor feller, is he?
12:52I created him, he should be grateful.
12:55Steve?
12:57Are you grateful?
12:59Brilliant.
13:03Have you... Sorry, hold on.
13:05Have you got a bit of a crush on Steve?
13:07I like Steve. Do you? What do you like about Steve?
13:10Well, what's not to like about him?
13:13Let's do the results.
13:15So, basically, I've got a relationship that, for 12 years,
13:18there's that infantile, you've both kissed a couple of people.
13:21You're very nervous, but you've done well.
13:23You all right, Trev? Yeah. Yeah, doing well?
13:25Note from the examiner, Trev.
13:27Pin back your logos.
13:29Stop making that ridiculous noise, you lot.
13:31Rosemary told the examiner that she had passionately kissed
13:34three people during her relationship with your friends.
13:38Not two, but three.
13:40Three? Yeah, I already told him that.
13:42Who? He knows who the other one...
13:44You told me it was two.
13:46Two were another couple that Rosemary said her and Trevor messed about with.
13:52Rosemary missed touching the man in this couple.
13:55Sorry, what?
13:57Yeah, he snogged her and had a grope with her,
13:59and I snogged him and I groped him.
14:01That was at the very start.
14:03That was at the very start of the relationship,
14:05and then the other one was out and camping,
14:07and I kissed her because they dared me to kiss her, and I kissed her.
14:11Oh, he's a fraud.
14:13Come with me.
14:15Right, listen, Trev, Trev, Trev!
14:17You're all right, you're OK. Sit down, we'll do it there.
14:19You're all right now? Sorted, right.
14:21Rosemary also admitted to kissing another man in a pub,
14:24which Trevor knows about, so you're both OK.
14:26Two-two, yeah?
14:27Since the start of your relationship with Trevor,
14:29have you had sexual intercourse with anybody else, we asked.
14:31Rosemary, she said no. Why did you say no, Rosemary?
14:33Tell the truth. She was telling the truth, Trev.
14:36APPLAUSE
14:41Since the start of your relationship with Trevor,
14:43apart from what you've admitted to,
14:45have you had sexual contact with anybody else?
14:47Rosemary said no, she was telling the truth, Trevor.
14:53And apart from the three people you've admitted to kissing,
14:56have you passionately kissed anybody else?
14:58You said no, your missus was telling the truth
15:00throughout the whole test.
15:02APPLAUSE
15:07Can I make a suggestion? Yes.
15:09You know, early on, when you experimented a little bit,
15:12do you think that might have set a precedent
15:14that made you both feel insecure?
15:16No, but I'm just... I'll tell you why,
15:18and I'm being serious from here.
15:20Some time ago, we did a couple of stories about, you know,
15:23threesomes, right?
15:25And I remember distinctly this bloke saying,
15:27actually, the reality is that fantasy should stay in your head,
15:31because although the thought might be good,
15:35the deed can cause all sorts of problems.
15:37And it strikes me, with the greatest of respect, right...
15:40I'm a genuine person, I told you, I wasn't lying.
15:42No, no, no, but I think that you both did what you did,
15:45and it was tit for tat, right?
15:47You were getting married. He says...
15:49But it was just with the accusers, I just wanted...
15:51But you understand, don't you? He accuses you, she switches off
15:54because you accuse her, you switch off,
15:56which makes him think you're having sex with somebody else,
15:59and you just go round and round and round in circles.
16:02Well, at least then we don't have to come back again,
16:04they don't mean that in a bad way, right enough.
16:06Did you just watch the ECU, did you, Jeremy?
16:08No, I watch the show every morning, I watch Jeremy Kyle,
16:10I watch the Kyle Files and I watch the Miracle Serum as well.
16:13And I even watch the repeats on their TV too.
16:15Get a job.
16:16I don't want a job, I want to watch you on TV.
16:18CHEERING
16:20I don't know...
16:21I wish this dream came true by meeting you in real life,
16:23because you came out and now we're...real.
16:25LAUGHTER
16:27I've seen the cardboard cutout and that there,
16:29and I was going to lift it and do a runner.
16:31You want my cardboard cutout?
16:33I'm going to tell you, I've never told anybody this,
16:35you can have my cardboard cutout.
16:37You can take it back to North...
16:39They'll have a go at me, I couldn't give a damn, really.
16:41You can take it back to Northern Ireland if you promise me this, right?
16:43Stop playing games and just be true and honest to each other, OK?
16:46Life is too short.
16:47I hope that has sorted it out.
16:49Put the marriage back on, and I think, Trev...
16:52God, you have got strong crap.
16:54Lemonade.
16:55I will say this, I think tonight, Trev,
16:57could be a big night if you play your cards right.
16:59Give her a round of applause!
17:03Well, that's nice, isn't it?
17:05She's going back to Ireland with my cardboard cutout,
17:08and tonight they're going to have a night of passion.
17:10Right, my next guest today, Laura, is here to find out
17:12if her husband, Harry, has cheated more than she knows about.
17:14She says she was able to forgive Harry cheating early on
17:17in their 15-year marriage, however, four years ago,
17:19her world was literally turned upside down
17:21when she saw him walking with another woman.
17:23I said walking.
17:25When confronted, Harry claimed that Laura was his sister.
17:29And then he went back to the woman's house.
17:31Laura says that if he fails the lie detector test today,
17:34she says she means it, the marriage is over.
17:37Laura's on The Carl Show, that way!
17:44How are you?
17:45Hiya.
17:46Welcome to the show. How are you?
17:47Fine. A bit nervous, but I'm fine.
17:49What? Nervous? Don't be nervous.
17:51You've been with Harry almost 15 years.
17:54You say, I know that my old man is a cheat.
17:57Let's talk about what you know first.
18:00Initially, way back.
18:02Um...
18:04He cheated on me...
18:06near enough at the beginning of the relationship.
18:08That was all right, that he slept with somebody, was it?
18:10No, no, of course not.
18:11Why did you stay with him, then?
18:13Because it was at the beginning of the relationship and...
18:17I was young, I was stupid, I was... Do you know?
18:20After three years together, someone told you that he was what?
18:24He was sleeping with another woman.
18:26Visiting prostitutes?
18:27Yeah, he did, yeah.
18:29Did you confront him with that?
18:30Yeah, he said it was lies.
18:33Four years ago, tell me what happened. Speak up, cos I can't hear you.
18:37Um...
18:38We'd moved away with his stuff.
18:41And, um, he went... He had a tough ache.
18:44And he went off to the...
18:46I had brought him back a drink, for me and him.
18:48And he'd drunk it with his mate.
18:50And, um...
18:52He'd come in and he said,
18:54I'm going to go back down to the shop for another drink.
18:57So I gave him money and he went back down to the shop for another drink.
19:00I didn't see him any more for a while.
19:03And, um...
19:07Friends come around and said,
19:08we're just seeing Harry up the town.
19:10Can't do it. You got in the car, you went to look, what did you see?
19:13Um...
19:14He'd come out of the shop with his hands around another woman.
19:17He told me he was going home first.
19:19I went to him, he said he was going home.
19:21He told her that you were his sister?
19:23Yeah.
19:24Why would you accept that behaviour?
19:26I didn't. I didn't.
19:27I tried to get him to get into the car and everything,
19:29and he said to me...
19:30But he walked off with that woman?
19:33Yeah.
19:34He didn't come back for hours?
19:36No.
19:37And from that moment, the next day on,
19:39there have been rumours that what happened?
19:41He slept with her.
19:44What's it like having...
19:45Apparently there were accusations of threesomes.
19:48What's it like having this hanging over you the whole time?
19:51I keep trying to move on from it,
19:53and he keeps saying to me that he didn't.
19:55What has he admitted?
19:56He admitted at the beginning he slept with somebody
19:58and it was a big mistake.
19:59He says that all of this is paranoia.
20:01What does he admit with that woman, the 50-year-old, four years ago?
20:05Um, that he just had personal favours offered, basically.
20:12What's a personal favour?
20:14Well, it involved my husband and her mouth, basically.
20:17He's admitted that he slept with somebody else.
20:19Four years ago, he's admitted that.
20:21You're prepared or willing or you have to accept that,
20:24and he seems to not give a damn.
20:26Because I'll tell you something before I go to this break.
20:28I'll tell you one thing that really annoys me about this show.
20:30And you might not like this, but frankly, I don't give a damn.
20:32This guy is about as communicative as Dan on a bad day.
20:35Very down today, doesn't want to speak, doesn't want to get involved,
20:38but comes here and wants me to do a lie detector.
20:40Don't go anywhere. Right, back!
20:41You've walked on the stage, cos I'm going to talk to you.
20:44You've kissed your missus and then you've walked off.
20:46Yeah.
20:47Why's that?
20:48Cos you're going to fail the test.
20:50I'm sick of going blue in the face telling her,
20:52saying the same thing over and over and over.
20:54I'm sick of it.
20:55So you're saying something happened that night because I got drunk.
20:58Yes, it did happen, yes.
21:02APPLAUSE
21:08We want to welcome up for the break, Laura Maratari,
21:11for 15 years.
21:12At the beginning, he slept with somebody else.
21:14You've accepted that, got two kids.
21:16Four years ago, you caught him with another woman.
21:19Today we do a lie detector.
21:20What happens if he fails it?
21:21Cos you've put up with it twice.
21:23I'm going home and he'll have to go his own way.
21:25I'm not doing it no more, I can't.
21:26You know what...
21:27Why now, though, darling? People will ask this.
21:29Why now?
21:31Cos it's coming up all the time.
21:33It's ruining... I just can't move on from it.
21:36Harry's on the Jeremy Carr Show that way.
21:47I can tell straight away you've got a...
21:52Prove me point.
21:54What do you want about your prove me point?
21:56Get them off him, look at them.
21:58Told you I could only do one thing.
22:00Sorry, could you come with me and try...
22:02What the hell was that, what?
22:06Sorry, what did you just say?
22:08Hello, what did you just say?
22:10Why have you walked on and walked off?
22:12Cos I've done what I told her I'd do.
22:15I beg your pardon?
22:16I've done what I told her I'd do.
22:18You've done what you told her you'd do?
22:20Yeah.
22:21I don't understand what you're saying to me.
22:23You've walked on the stage, cos I'm going to talk to you,
22:25you've kissed your missus and then you've walked off.
22:27Yeah.
22:28Why's that? Cos you're going to fail the test?
22:31Read it.
22:32You want me to read it?
22:34Then be man enough to get out there and face her, why?
22:37I don't know about that.
22:38No, of course you don't.
22:40Cos you've got her exactly where you want her, haven't you?
22:43Yeah, you have.
22:44Did you have a threesome that night?
22:46No, did you? Would you like to have a threesome with someone?
22:49What would you have done if your woman would have done something like that?
22:52Serious question.
22:53I don't know.
22:54I'm asking you a question, right?
22:56What would you do?
22:58I wouldn't be able to accept that.
23:00But that's twice.
23:02I'm asking you man to man, right?
23:05Twice you've cheated on her by your own admission,
23:07you've admitted to her twice.
23:09Do you expect her to stay around? Serious question.
23:11No.
23:12Do you understand why she's insecure, do you?
23:14Yeah, I understand that.
23:15But coming out and giving her a kiss
23:16isn't going to prove that you haven't done anything else.
23:18I know I don't. It's just a thing I do.
23:21Why did you bring him here today? Tell him. Not me, you.
23:23To do a test for me, so we can move on.
23:25So we can move on from it.
23:27You know that.
23:28Have I done it?
23:29Well, sit back out there then and just wait for it to come out.
23:32Why?
23:34Other people over there that night said you had a threesome with that woman, yeah?
23:38I'm telling you what they said, that's it.
23:41Got your wife where you want her, haven't you?
23:43How have I?
23:44Cos she's put up with this for 15 years.
23:46What do you mean 15 years?
23:48You've cheated on her twice in 15 years.
23:50You cheated at the start, you cheated with that 50-year-old woman.
23:52Didn't have to tell her.
23:53Didn't have to do it?
23:55She would never have found out.
23:57So you haven't told her about sleeping with the prostitutes then?
23:59I don't sleep with prostitutes.
24:00So is there anything you haven't told her?
24:02I haven't told her anything.
24:03Right. So it's all right if you do it as long as you tell her?
24:06No.
24:07What if she did it to you, what would happen?
24:08I don't know.
24:09Do you know why you make me really angry?
24:11Do you know why you make me angry?
24:13And I suspect that you know this.
24:15I would just have to wait and see if she...
24:16Why are you sweating so much?
24:17Why are you so incommunicative?
24:19Just so you know, cos the worst thing for me is wasting my time,
24:21whatever you might give.
24:22He can't do the test.
24:24During the medical questionnaire, prior to the test,
24:27Harry disclosed for the first time that he used cocaine last night
24:30and heroin this morning.
24:31Did you know about this?
24:32No.
24:33Tried to run a test and because of cocaine and heroin...
24:35I can't run a test.
24:36Oh, so now that's all right, is it?
24:37I can't run that test.
24:38You can't get a result when you're on heroin.
24:40He never told me that.
24:41Did you take heroin this morning?
24:42He never told me.
24:43Did you take heroin this morning?
24:44It's none of your business.
24:45That'll be why you're sweating, won't it?
24:47No, it's not.
24:48I don't...
24:49Think inclusive, darling.
24:50We tried to run the test twice.
24:51He's on heroin and cocaine.
24:52But I'm going to say something.
24:53I'm going to defend you, strangely.
24:54You knew he's on heroin and cocaine, didn't you?
24:56No.
24:57I didn't know he took...
24:58He didn't...
24:59I didn't know he took anything.
25:00Sorry?
25:01Nothing.
25:02I didn't know he took it last night.
25:03You admitted you took that stuff, yeah?
25:04I didn't admit nothing to you.
25:07You admitted you took heroin?
25:08I didn't admit nothing to you.
25:09Did you say it when you went into the lie detector
25:10that you took that last night, then?
25:12That's why we can't do a result.
25:13Do you understand that?
25:14But why did he sit there?
25:15We couldn't get a result because of the drugs you took.
25:18Why didn't he let me sit there for?
25:20Because you didn't tell us you'd taken it
25:22until you got in there.
25:23We tried to get a result.
25:24We tried to help you both.
25:25And you try it back in our faces by taking heroin.
25:28This isn't my fault, Harry.
25:30I didn't have to tell him that.
25:31I didn't have to tell him that.
25:32I didn't have to tell him that I took drugs this morning, did I?
25:35Do you know what?
25:36Do you know what's extraordinary about you?
25:38It's your business and it's up to you.
25:40When you do something, you have this unbelievable belief
25:42that if you tell whoever it is, then that's all right.
25:45We couldn't get a reading because you took heroin this morning,
25:48yes or no?
25:49No.
25:50You did take heroin.
25:51There's no reactions because you're about as...
25:53You're not really with it, right?
25:55So you took heroin this morning, yes or no?
25:57No.
25:59Are you on drugs all the time?
26:01No.
26:02You look like you are.
26:03I don't think so.
26:04Does it look like I take drugs?
26:06Did you...?
26:07No, I'm not.
26:08Does it look like I take drugs?
26:10Check my bag.
26:11Listen, don't get angry with me.
26:12Did you take heroin this morning?
26:13No.
26:14Then why did you tell the examiner you did?
26:16Because I took coke.
26:17You've come all the way up here for nothing.
26:19You've had me all the way up here for nothing.
26:21No.
26:22And you didn't know he was doing drugs?
26:24I didn't know he was doing stuff last night and this morning.
26:27So you've known he's done drugs in the past?
26:29Well, he smokes weed sometimes.
26:32Do you think he's done this to get out of the test?
26:34Yeah, I do.
26:35Yeah, he's told him, hasn't he?
26:37Is that true, Harry?
26:38Yeah.
26:39I let people decide for themselves.
26:41You let them decide for themselves?
26:42But you're not talking about that.
26:43We're talking about your wife of 15 years,
26:45that you've cheated on her twice
26:46and she's given you a chance to come here and put this right.
26:48And what have you done?
26:49You've sabotaged the test.
26:50How have I...?
26:52Because you can't do a lie detector test.
26:54It's explained to you if you take drugs.
26:56If I was not on that,
26:57I wouldn't have told him I took drugs this morning, would I?
27:00But you wouldn't have still got a reading.
27:02You've watched this show.
27:03You know you can't do it.
27:04I don't watch your show.
27:05I don't watch your show, mate.
27:06I've never watched your show.
27:07I don't like you.
27:08Simple as.
27:09Oh, no.
27:10It's all my fault now, is it?
27:11Did I say it was your fault?
27:12You just said I don't like you.
27:13Yeah, I don't like you.
27:14Why do you not like me?
27:15If you don't watch my show, how do you know me not to like?
27:17Yeah, I don't.
27:18Well, how do you know...?
27:19If you don't watch, how do you know not to like me?
27:21I don't worry about that.
27:22But how do you not like me if you've never seen me?
27:24Where have you seen me?
27:26How can you judge me when you don't...?
27:28What?
27:29You mean you don't like somebody fronting you out?
27:31I don't mind people fronting me out.
27:33I don't mind people fronting me out.
27:34Well, that's all I'm doing. I'm not having a go.
27:36I was asked to give you an opportunity to do this test
27:39to prove to your missus there was nothing else.
27:41That's all I'm saying.
27:42And what I've got is, I've got a lie detector examiner
27:44here me out.
27:45I've spent money.
27:46I brought her up.
27:47I brought you up.
27:48And now I'm told we can't get a result.
27:50So that's frustrating.
27:51It's up to you.
27:52She'll do whatever you want anyway.
27:54Well, then, why don't you try telling her?
27:57Come here.
27:58Come here.
27:59If you don't toot the three bottles of whisky yet
28:01and then don't toot the one on top yet,
28:03would you remember anything?
28:05Would you?
28:06Would you?
28:07Would you? Yes or no?
28:08When is this?
28:09Don't get angry with me.
28:10I couldn't even drink three glasses of Fanta orange up until now.
28:13So, when was...?
28:14It's not funny.
28:15So, hold on a second.
28:16When was that?
28:17Was that when that woman was around?
28:18So you were very drunk, is what you're saying?
28:20All right, let me try another question for you.
28:22Let me try this.
28:23Maybe we can meet in the middle.
28:25Hold on a sec.
28:26Would it be fair to say that you drink too much
28:29and take too many drugs?
28:30No, I don't drink too much.
28:31Do you take too many drugs?
28:33A bit of weed.
28:34Come here.
28:35And cocaine and heroin?
28:36Mm-hm.
28:37Why don't we help you change that so your marriage is better?
28:40I can change it myself.
28:41It's not working very well so far, is it?
28:43Do you want to help?
28:44Do you want to help?
28:45No, not really.
28:46OK, fair enough.
28:47What are you going to do?
28:48Yeah.
28:49He's going. I can't...
28:51We only tried...
28:52Harry, all we tried to do was do the test.
28:54He knows what he's doing.
28:55I didn't have to tell him this morning, did I,
28:57that I took cocaine, did I?
28:59No, no, but you wouldn't have got a result.
29:01You wouldn't have got a result.
29:02That result would have still come back either way.
29:04Inconclusive, it would have come back, yeah.
29:06No, I wouldn't have done it.
29:07It's obvious you're on drugs, Harry.
29:09How is it?
29:10Because you look like you're on drugs.
29:12What do you mean, sweating?
29:13What do you want me to do?
29:14I got an overactive sweat glands problem.
29:16Which won't be helped by cocaine.
29:17You knew if he'd failed the thing, what was going to happen?
29:19He didn't fail it, we couldn't get a reading
29:21because of the drugs he admitted to taking.
29:23No, I was not...
29:24Yeah, but people will think you took them to avoid...
29:26I don't give a... what they think.
29:28Do you care what she thinks?
29:29I don't think what they... want.
29:30Do you care what she thinks?
29:31Yeah, I do.
29:32Then why don't you ask her?
29:33I've already asked her.
29:34I'm sick, I'm sick.
29:35I'm going blue in the face, telling her,
29:37saying the same thing over and over and over.
29:39I'm sick of it.
29:40So you're saying something happened that night
29:42because I got drunk.
29:43Yeah, something did happen.
29:44Yeah, she...
29:45She...
29:46I've told her she...
29:48It did not go perfect.
29:49It did not go perfect.
29:51I'm telling you.
29:52No matter how drunk I was,
29:54I'd never remember that.
29:55Anybody would.
29:57It's only common sense, isn't it?
30:01I don't mind you, but I need to ask you something.
30:04You said,
30:05I drank three bottles of whiskey and two bottles of wine
30:07and I don't know what I'm doing,
30:09and then you've just said,
30:10I knew if I'd had sex with a woman.
30:12Yeah, it's only common sense, I would.
30:13You and she, do me a favour.
30:15Look at me.
30:16Whatever you think of me.
30:17This...
30:19You need to talk to this man.
30:21For her.
30:22And for yourself.
30:23I'll do anything for her.
30:24Then talk to him and try and get some help
30:26for what you took, all right?
30:27Yes or no?
30:29Yes or no?
30:31No.
30:32Yes?
30:33No.
30:35Be true to yourself.
30:36Give him a round of applause, Graham.
30:37All yours.
30:44There you go.
30:45All right, the next guest today, Chris, is here,
30:47because she believes her husband Ian is a compulsive liar.
30:49Now, the final straw came just a few weeks ago
30:51when Chris decided to look through Ian's iPad,
30:53I'm not going to get any of this, by the way,
30:55and found his profile on a dating website.
30:57Now, Chris wants Ian to take the lie detector today
30:59to prove he hasn't cheated and says,
31:01lots of people say it, I mean it,
31:03if this guy fails, the marriage is over.
31:06Chris, on The Jeremy Carr Show, that way.
31:15You all right? You look terrified.
31:16I am.
31:17Are you?
31:18It's that thought, isn't it? I don't want to meet him.
31:20Now, are these all your kids in the audience?
31:23A couple of them.
31:24Aaron, where's Aaron?
31:26That's your son.
31:27Kirsty, the daughter.
31:30Simone.
31:32Are you her daughter?
31:33Yeah.
31:35Do you think he's guilty, you three?
31:37Yes or no?
31:38Not sure.
31:39I'm not sure.
31:40You don't really like him, though, do you?
31:42No.
31:43What?
31:44Right, welcome to the show.
31:45Chris, married to him for seven years, four kids together.
31:47My husband is a compulsive liar.
31:48I cannot trust a word that comes out of his mouth.
31:50What do you mean by that?
31:52He lies.
31:53Always.
31:54He opens his mouth, he lies.
31:56He never looks you straight in the eye.
31:57Normally, he's like...
31:59Yeah.
32:01He lies about anything, everything.
32:03Give me an example. What does he lie about?
32:06Not being drunk.
32:08He can be slurring his words and staggering,
32:11but he's only had one pint.
32:13He puts other stuff before the kids.
32:15He puts himself first.
32:17So he's a selfish person?
32:18Yeah.
32:19Makes himself out to be Daddy of the Year, but he's not.
32:21He hides money.
32:22Now, you have a disabled child. Is that with him?
32:24Yes.
32:25And you were saving, I believe,
32:27to buy a specific piece of equipment for this disabled child,
32:30and then you find that he's hiding money
32:32and spending it in the pub or...?
32:34Yeah.
32:35Yeah.
32:36None of which tells you that he's a cheat, though.
32:38He might be selfish and he might be a bit of a...
32:41you know, a pain in the backside,
32:43but why do you suspect he's a cheat?
32:46Because nothing he ever says makes any sense.
32:50It's like trying to put a jigsaw piece together and you can't...
32:53Well, let's cut to the chase.
32:55You found a hidden dating website, profile,
32:57thingamajig, Facebook, I need a date, whatever.
33:00Yeah.
33:01Things he was saying weren't making sense,
33:03so I went on his iPad and I went through his emails,
33:05and there must have been 20, 30 emails from a dating website.
33:09Saying what?
33:10Well, I went on his profile, it said he'd never been married.
33:14That's a lie.
33:15He doesn't have any children.
33:16Well, that's a lie.
33:17And he has a degree, which he only got last year,
33:20which makes me think it's a newish thing.
33:22Hi, Ian, we've picked out ten new matches for you.
33:24Meet them now and then check out all the singles in your area.
33:27He's told me about six different lies about it.
33:30About the dating website.
33:32Bit uncomfortable for you.
33:34Your son's in the audience saying he doesn't really like him.
33:36Why is that?
33:37Because he lies about everything.
33:40And has he lied to you?
33:41Aaron, you'll have to speak up a bit cos I couldn't hear you before.
33:43Has he lied to you?
33:44About a couple of things.
33:45Is it just a gut feeling about this man?
33:48It's... We've never really got on properly since...
33:51So you're hoping he fails, then?
33:53What's that?
33:54You're hoping he fails, so your mother...
33:55Cos you say you'll finish him with him if he fails.
33:57Yeah.
33:58Do you believe she'll finish
33:59or do you think you'll wrap around a little finger?
34:01I'd rather he didn't fail for my mum, but...
34:03You're a nice man.
34:05Do you mean it, though, if he fails?
34:07Yeah.
34:08Let's say he passes the cheating thing,
34:10but you're saying that this...
34:12You've got to be at him. You've got to say you've got to change.
34:14I can't do this. I don't believe you.
34:16I have. I've been saying for weeks, for months,
34:17you've got to change. Why do you lie?
34:19Well, let's ask him why. Can we get him out?
34:20Yeah.
34:21Ian's on The Jeremy Carr Show. That way.
34:28Hi, Jeremy.
34:30Are you all right?
34:31Not bad yourself.
34:32Was that a lie?
34:33Nervous.
34:34What's your name?
34:35Ian.
34:36Is that true?
34:37Yeah.
34:38How old are you?
34:3938.
34:40Are you sure?
34:41So-so.
34:42Let's just have the truth.
34:44Do you lie to her?
34:46Not constantly, but I have done, yeah.
34:48Why?
34:49Mainly it's for self-benefit.
34:51I've lied about money that...
34:53Well, you've got a disabled son, you're trying to save money
34:55to buy him a particular piece of equipment
34:57and you're spending it down the pub and on gadgets.
34:59Why would you do that? It's about your kids, isn't it?
35:01Right, which was actually used from my allowance
35:04that I get from my work for staying out while I work away.
35:08The thing is, it's money that we didn't have.
35:10That money could have gone to our son.
35:12Speak to her.
35:13Sorry, one minute.
35:15I get £80 to stay out for four nights
35:18and, yes, I managed to save some up
35:20so that I could actually go down, have a pub lunch.
35:23Ended up going on the food machine.
35:25Won on the food machine.
35:27You won £100?
35:29That £100 could go a long way.
35:31Yes, and then I spent it on the ground.
35:33And what did you do?
35:35Spent it on a gadget and then you lied about the gadget to me.
35:37And said I won it on the ground.
35:39I told my team,
35:40I feel like I don't see any of the money I work for
35:42so I need to lie about it occasionally.
35:44I can't even go and buy a new pair of trainers.
35:46True, I need a new pair of trainers.
35:48You wanted a family, you got a family.
35:50I know I got a family.
35:51Your money's never your own.
35:53APPLAUSE
35:57You've been trying to chat up other women.
35:59No, I haven't.
36:00But why is there a website profile hidden thing that says,
36:02hello, Ian, we've picked out ten new matches for you,
36:05meet them now and then check out all the other singles in your area?
36:08I've pointed out, Jeremy,
36:10that they are actually in the spam folder on my AOL account.
36:14Don't know what spam is.
36:16The profile's on your Whatsit, isn't it?
36:19No, it's on my face.
36:22Can you help me out?
36:24The profile was on his computer, yes?
36:26Yes.
36:27So you put it there?
36:28No, right.
36:29She found an email...
36:31Did you have... Who put the profile on the website?
36:35Some anonymous person?
36:37I say, because of the age of the picture,
36:40I could have possibly done it before the relationship,
36:42because I have...
36:43You know when you... Did you...
36:45All right, did you instigate a website profile before you got married?
36:50Before we met, yes.
36:52You're saying this website thing was years ago before you met Chris
36:56and you're going to pass this test?
36:58I'm going to pass this test.
37:00And if you do, this is... You keep lying too much.
37:04I know. I need help. I need to stop.
37:07Can I say something your son and daughter might agree with?
37:10You both look as miserable as sin.
37:11You're supposed to be a little bit happy when you're in a relationship.
37:14Seriously.
37:15I'd be a lot happier if you didn't lie.
37:17Yeah, I agree with you. How many people think he's going to pass?
37:22Two. It's not looking good either, is it?
37:24Happy day this has turned into. Are you all right?
37:26Are you sure? I feel sorry for you. Nice lady.
37:29You are a bit dodgy, though, aren't you?
37:31You look a bit dodgy, you sound a bit dodgy.
37:33Honestly, shifty as anything.
37:34I've always been told I've got sly eyes.
37:36You set the profile up. Don't treat me like an idiot.
37:38Right, so I probably did it years ago before we got together.
37:42Since you married Chris, have you had sexual intercourse with anyone else?
37:46We asked Ian. He said no. Why did you say no?
37:49I was telling the truth.
37:51He was telling the truth, ladies and gentlemen.
37:58Since you married Chris, have you had sexual contact with anyone else?
38:00He said no because he was telling the truth and since you married Chris,
38:03he's passed every single bloody question.
38:10But aren't you...
38:18You're surprised by that, aren't you?
38:20I am. So am I.
38:22Take your wife, sit with Graham, start opening your mouth
38:25and not talking out your backside. Yes or no?
38:27Yes. Yeah? Give him a round of applause to go that way.
38:35Well, I'll tell you what, I didn't think about that after the break.
38:37Another couple in crisis. Don't go anywhere, cos I'm right back.
38:40Aggression. Two weeks ago, she lashed out at you.
38:43Yeah, basically. I did get scared of it.
38:46You know what I mean? I was pretty scared.
38:48So where's the aggression come from, love?
38:50He calls me a cokehead.
38:52He does. You do don't, don't you?
38:54He's called me a lot of times and I'm not a cokehead.
39:00Have you got a jealous partner?
39:02Are you the one that cannot control your jealousy?
39:05If you're 16 or over and you want to be considered for the show,
39:07text the word TALK TODAY plus your name to 63334.
39:11Text costs 25 pence plus one standard rate message.
39:13You can call my team today.
39:15It's 09011. It's 123456.
39:19Calls cost 25 pence plus your network access charge.
39:22Or email TALKATITV.COM to get in touch with one of my team.
39:35Well, I must say, welcome back.
39:36My next guests today have been on this stage before.
39:38This is unbelievable. Take a look at this, my friends.
39:43I'm not an addict.
39:45No, no, I mean, I was speaking to Graham this morning.
39:47You binge. That's the really sad thing.
39:49An addict presumably, well, factually,
39:52isn't able to control their intake.
39:54A binge taker... I cannot take it.
39:56What? I can. I say no to it.
39:59But you use it as a crutch.
40:01I can, yeah. I do, yeah.
40:03I've got a life. I'm only young.
40:07Can you believe or see a point
40:09where it becomes more than binge taking?
40:11Is that what the fear is? No, it's not.
40:13No, no, but can you imagine... I can imagine that, yeah.
40:16In a few moments, I probably would be addicted.
40:21Pretty good news since the show.
40:22Chanel has been working closely with the aftercare team
40:24and is now totally clean of cocaine.
40:26How good's that? Give them a round of applause.
40:31Just to prove that we don't just do this and let people go,
40:34unfortunately, he got in contact with us
40:36and says that the relationship is now suffering in other ways.
40:38Shockingly, just a week ago,
40:40Brian claims that she was violent towards him.
40:42She actually kicked him, punched him and head-butted him.
40:45He said he's desperate to get help
40:47because what he believes is she's come off these drugs
40:49and the outlet is now violence.
40:51Now, for a man to come back here twice
40:53and say, I love the bones of this woman so much,
40:55I want to help with her drugs,
40:57and now I'm brave enough to say, look, she's attacking me,
40:59I know there's a great person in there, I want to help her.
41:01Brian's back. Give him a round of applause.
41:09Can I ask you a question?
41:11Yeah.
41:12Why don't we just think, I can't do this any more.
41:16We had the drugs last time, right?
41:18Yeah. I know she worked closely with Graham.
41:20Yeah.
41:22And then this.
41:24You said that she was suddenly, with the help, a very different person.
41:28She was absolutely brilliant for four and a half weeks, five weeks.
41:31She'd actually got money to herself.
41:33She was going out, like, to Primark.
41:35Oh, sorry. Primark. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:37Off cocaine, she's a totally different person.
41:39She can't stop smiling, she's money for herself.
41:42Suddenly, and you've got to speak up a bit,
41:44aggression, two weeks ago. What?
41:47There was an incident behind it.
41:49Why did the aggression come out?
41:51I can't go into it, obviously.
41:53Was she lashed out at you?
41:55Yeah, basically.
41:56I mean, maybe I push the wrong buttons, maybe she does.
41:59You know what I mean?
42:01You said you've had to restrain her.
42:03Yeah, yeah.
42:04Because I think you make excuses for her.
42:06Probably do, yeah.
42:07But how long's that going to go on?
42:09This is the point, this is why we're here today, you know what I mean?
42:12I did get scared of it, you know what I mean?
42:14I was pretty scared.
42:16So, obviously, this is why we've run the show.
42:18Whose idea to run the show?
42:19Chanel's. Chanel's.
42:21Is it part of the process through which she has to go, do you think,
42:25in your mind, because of the drugs?
42:27Do you think the drugs were taken to blot out the stuff?
42:29And drug-free, the stuff is coming up, needs dealing with,
42:31needs boxing and packaging and putting away.
42:33Maybe this is what Graham always talks about,
42:35about the underlying reasons why people take drink
42:37or take drugs to blot it out, right?
42:39Yeah, probably, yeah, probably right.
42:41But she's a very... I mean, she's 20 years of age.
42:43She knows exactly what she's trying to do with her life.
42:47Yeah, yeah.
42:48And, you know, for somebody to take the advice and get off that stuff,
42:51but then there's another issue, we said we'd do our best, she's back.
42:54Chanel's on the Jeremy Carr Show that way, guys.
42:56APPLAUSE
43:04How you doing? I'm fine.
43:07Interestingly, you said that since the last show he's given you abuse.
43:10Yeah, he has accused me of taking coke a lot of times.
43:15I had one blip and I told him about that straight away.
43:19The work you did with Graham, because you were tweeting each other,
43:22I know, it was good, right? It was amazing, yeah.
43:25You didn't need a residential rehab, you needed...
43:28Oh, look at that.
43:29Hoping I can prove Jeremy Carr wrong and show him I have the motivation
43:32to change at Graham Stenner, I tell him I'll be back as a new me.
43:35You can do it, Chanel. Is that tweeting? Yeah.
43:38Is that what he does, Graham? Cos I don't know what he actually does.
43:41Does he do that in the car?
43:43At Graham Stenner, yeah, thank you so much.
43:45So you work with Graham. Yeah.
43:47You had one blip, but for four weeks your life was massively different.
43:50It was. So where's the aggression come from, love?
43:53He calls me a cokehead, and he does, you do don't, don't you?
43:56He's called me a lot of times, and I'm not a cokehead.
43:59You call her a cokehead when she's trying to get off drugs.
44:02I know, I know.
44:04I am to blame for, like, smacking him.
44:07I didn't mean to, but it just built up.
44:10But you did apologise straight after that.
44:12Yeah, but I'm not a cokehead.
44:14So there's more to headbutting somebody, kicking somebody
44:16and punching somebody in the face than throwing hard objects at their head.
44:19That's more than a little slap, isn't it? That's real violent aggression.
44:22Where does that come from? Does that come from the fact
44:25that you've got issues that you've never dealt with?
44:27Does that come from the fact that the cocaine masked those
44:30and now you're off the cocaine, these are coming out? What is it?
44:33I just want him to, like, support me, like...
44:36Can you get me Graham, please? Is he around?
44:38I want to speak to Graham, if I can. Thank you.
44:40Give him a round of applause, in fact.
44:42It's all right. I just...
44:45Let's go, shall we?
44:47I want to bring you up, because I really...
44:50You did great work with her, but there is...
44:52Am I right or am I wrong?
44:54Is that the underlying reason why she was taking cocaine
44:57in the first place, to mask that? What is it?
44:59Probably not. I think she did great work, by the way,
45:02and I was just there to support her, and you need to support her more, OK?
45:06And that's what she's telling you.
45:08She gets angry when you refer back to her past,
45:11and rather, you know, right now you should be referring to her present.
45:16I do praise her, you know what I mean, when she's doing so well,
45:19but obviously, with the blip, then you start thinking again,
45:22you know what I mean? Yeah, but the blip was,
45:24cos, like, you accuse me so much, and, like, you shouldn't...
45:27OK, and people can... But the violence isn't right.
45:29People can be... It's not right, and I know it's not right.
45:33Just to cover that point, people can realise,
45:35but she got back on the wagon, OK?
45:37That's the important thing to acknowledge there.
45:40I don't know, people use that word, anger,
45:43it genuinely is aggressive, but is that spinning from anxiety?
45:48You know, often when people use cocaine,
45:51unfortunately, a side effect to that would be increased anxiety levels.
45:55I do have that, yeah.
45:57OK, and that often happens when people stop using cocaine,
46:01you know, their anxieties increase.
46:03And sometimes that triggers the fight-or-flight response,
46:08and with you, maybe, on that occasion,
46:11it was about responding in a very angry way,
46:14and you went to the fight mode rather than the flight one,
46:17just to walk away from it.
46:19Can I ask a question? And this is not a criticism.
46:21He's a bit of a sap, isn't he?
46:23Yeah, he is. I mean, you make excuses for her.
46:26I'm not talking about violence in any way.
46:28I think you would wipe her backside forever.
46:30I think you are amazing to have hung around.
46:33I understand what you're saying, he loses his rag,
46:35but I almost think, like, don't take this the wrong way,
46:37you have these problems, right?
46:39You obviously said a couple of things wrong.
46:42I just think you need to toughen up, mate.
46:44Honestly, I look at you and I think, you love the bones of her so much,
46:47you make any goddamn excuse.
46:49I just want to shake you and go, do you know what?
46:51Tell her no, tell her to shut up and tell her to get on with her life.
46:54Do you know what I mean, really?
46:56You don't agree? She doesn't agree?
46:58You don't agree with me?
47:00It's not that I don't agree,
47:02it's a case of our relationships are different,
47:05and their relationship works for them.
47:07At this moment in time, you've had this angry response,
47:10so we can isolate that, cos what you're saying,
47:12it's a one-time only response.
47:14Was it one-time only? Yeah, it was, yeah.
47:16It's what I'm asking, cos that's not normal behaviour,
47:18is it, head-butting somebody?
47:20What she's saying here, if you listen to her,
47:22is that she does have underlying anxiety,
47:24and what I'm saying is there are two responses to that.
47:27One is the fight-or-flight response, OK?
47:30She didn't choose the flight one, she did the other one,
47:33and it ended up in a fight with you, OK?
47:35So, it's a one-time only situation.
47:38OK. Do you believe it? No, it's not acceptable.
47:41And what I would like to do is,
47:43if there is an underlying anxiety disorder
47:45on the back of the cocaine use,
47:47then we need to look at that and deal with that.
47:50As far as your relationship's concerned,
47:52it's cool with me if you're happy with it, OK?
47:55You leave with him, I want to talk to your old man.
47:57Stay there. Thanks a lot, darling. Give him a round of applause.
48:05There's a difference between being violent and saying no.
48:07There's a difference between making excuses for her behaviour.
48:09She might have an underlying anxiety problem,
48:11she might have beaten the cocaine, I'm sure they'll do the work,
48:13but at the end of the day, that behaviour is not normal
48:16and it shouldn't be acceptable, and you shouldn't go,
48:18oh, well, you said sorry.
48:20Somebody's just head-butted you and said sorry.
48:22I'm not sure that's good enough.
48:24If you love somebody, sometimes you have to be tough.
48:26Do you understand? Yep.
48:28But you're not going to let... Just...
48:30If you want to be with her, toughen up. I will do.
48:32Good luck. Give him a round of applause for going that way.
48:35We'll let you know I'm out of time.
48:37If you want to be on the show, you need my help.
48:39You can find all the details on screen.
48:41To my guests in this audience and to you at home, thanks for watching.
48:44We'll see you very soon. Take care. Bye for now.
49:09.