Stressed Eric - 06 Tidy

  • avant-hier
Transcription
00:00Vite ! Je suis déjà dix ans en retard !
00:30Je m'en ramène, t'as dit ça, et maintenant je m'en ramène.
01:01Alors, mesdames et messieurs, nous nous fermons sur le plus grand délai signé par une compagnie américaine.
01:10Si je puis dire, c'est un triple ass-burger, avec du fromage, du bacon, et vous pouvez revenir pour un autre si vous gardez l'offre.
01:20Tout ce qui reste, c'est la visite à l'endroit cette après-midi de Kanagawa-san.
01:25Et je sais qu'il veut dire quelques mots à propos de ça. Kanagawa-san ?
01:31Merci, Powa-san. Nous aussi nous attendons au plus grand délai signé par une compagnie japonaise.
01:39Mais s'il vous plaît, pour nous, la visite à l'endroit n'est pas une seule occasion pour nous de vérifier dans le sac de poche.
01:49Très bien, dans le sac de poche.
01:51Non, nous ne pouvons signer qu'un contrat si nous sommes heureux avec la visite.
01:57Nous, au Japon, croyons en beaucoup de choses plus importantes que le business.
02:02Des propriétés financières, de l'investissement capital.
02:05Mais au-delà de tout, nous croyons que tout doit être propre et propre.
02:12C'est ce que nous devons faire.
02:43Je ne suis pas intéressé, Feeble. Les Japonais arrivent à 5h et je veux que chaque bureau soit plus propre que la vie d'un non-sexe.
02:49Oui, c'est vrai, Peebee. Absolument, Peebee. Non, non, je sais à quel point c'est important.
02:56Tu devrais bien. Quand nous arrivons à ton bureau, je ne veux pas voir autant d'insectes.
03:03Parce que si il y en a, tu seras plus vite qu'un curry arsberger qui laisse la rectum d'un cheater.
03:09Alors viens ici maintenant !
03:12Hey, tu ne peux pas entrer maintenant ?
03:14Non, tu ne peux pas entrer. Où est-il ?
03:16Mais Maria m'a dit qu'on allait y aujourd'hui.
03:18Oui, et bien Maria m'a dit qu'elle était un au pair.
03:20Aïe, inutile. Faites-le bouger.
03:23Brian, ça doit aller à la maison.
03:29Et les sous-titres n'ont pas été traduits à la langue de la traduction.
03:34Merci.
03:42Oh, c'est horrible !
03:44Qu'est-ce que je vais dire quand je le retourne ?
03:46C'est bien, mais tout le film se passe maintenant sous l'eau ?
03:55Sors !
04:01Je me demande ce que c'est comme d'être tôt pour quelque chose.
04:12C'est pas vrai !
04:43Non !
04:44Le bain !
04:53Oh, ne me le dis pas ! Réfléchis !
04:55Non ! La panique !
04:57Alors, ce que j'aurais aimé, chérie, c'est que tu et Maria alliez sortir pour le jour !
05:02Mais papa, tu m'as dit qu'on ne pouvait pas sortir aujourd'hui !
05:05Je sais !
05:06Et tu m'as dit qu'on ne pouvait pas sortir avec Maria !
05:08Je sais !
05:09Et tu m'as dit qu'on...
05:10Juste rentre dans la voiture !
05:16Prends-les n'importe où !
05:18Peu importe où, mais ne reviens pas jusqu'à ce soir !
05:20Je vais dormir maintenant.
05:22Non.
05:23Eh, c'est...
05:24Ice !
05:35Qu'est-ce que tu veux dire ?
05:37Avantage ? C'est un rat !
05:41Bonjour, Mr. Eric.
05:43Juste à l'étage.
05:45Jolly good !
05:47Je ne sais pas.
05:48Vous êtes des professionnels.
05:50Large and rat-like, how about that?
05:53So when will he be here?
05:55Could you narrow it down any less?
05:57Right, eleven o'clock, thank you.
06:03Come on, come on.
06:05Hi, I seem to have lost my season ticket.
06:07I don't suppose it's been handed in at all.
06:09Right, sir. Hold on, I'll have a look.
06:12Let's see.
06:17Maybe.
06:20No.
06:23There, that one. Yes, that's mine.
06:25Hold your horses, sir. I'll need to see some ID.
06:29But look, the picture, that's me.
06:31I've only got your word for that.
06:33But it's me, you can see that.
06:36Sorry, sir, but I will need to see some ID.
06:41My passport will do.
06:43Why would I have my passport on me? I'm going to work.
06:48Right, could be something else, sir, like a birth certificate.
06:52Do you carry a birth certificate around?
06:54No, but then I haven't lost my season ticket.
07:02Liz, it's me.
07:04Liz, I need your help.
07:07Liz, stop making that noise.
07:09Don't shout at me, Eric, I'm talking to you in the guise of my spirit animal.
07:14I'm not Liz, I'm Tawny the Owl.
07:17OK, Tawny, there's a man coming round at 11.
07:20I can't really leave the office and I need someone to be there to let him in.
07:23How long is it going to take? I start nesting at midday.
07:26Can't he come this evening?
07:28We've got a rat.
07:30He's not going to kill it?
07:31No, Liz, he's going to make it have a bed in the spare room.
07:34Of course he's going to kill it.
07:36Murder it? Butcher it? Eric, rats are people too.
07:40So, that's a no then, is it?
07:43Oh, do it to us.
07:45Well, I hope you get eaten by a fox.
07:52Calm down, Eric, it'll be fine.
07:54The Japanese aren't coming till 5.
07:56You don't have to be home till 11.
07:58And how long does it take to tidy an office?
08:04So, he says, we're not going skiing.
08:05I said, we are going skiing.
08:06You said we were going skiing.
08:07He said, I never said nothing about skiing.
08:08And I said, well, I'm not going to Spain again.
08:09I can't stay in Spain.
08:10I hate Spain.
08:11And he said, well, I hate skiing.
08:12And I said, well, I hate you.
08:13Alison!
08:14Quoi?
08:15I think we need to tidy up.
08:40Nice, nice.
08:44Ok, let's tidy!
09:05Alison!
09:06Oi! I was busy!
09:07Listen, Alison, I've got something very urgent to do at home.
09:09The Japanese are going to be here at 5.
09:11So, while I'm gone, will you please tidy the office, ok?
09:13Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:15Alison!
09:16What?
09:17I mean it! Tidy!
09:18Alright!
09:20Now!
09:21I know.
09:26So, he says, go on your own, evangelist.
09:27See if you like it.
09:32I'm doing it.
09:35He says, I don't want to go on holiday with you anyway.
09:37And I said, suits me fine, Dean Tuttle.
09:38And I packed him in.
09:41Don't worry.
09:42It's just a rat.
09:43It doesn't necessarily follow that it's carrying a hundred diseases.
09:46Maybe it's one of the cleaner ones.
09:48Well, there must be cleaner ones.
09:50There must be some who want out of the whole sewer filth disease lifestyle.
09:55Morning, Mr. Eric.
09:57Still off to the post?
10:00Oh, jolly good!
10:01And besides, if it is a hard-line, stick-in-the-mud, traditionalist rat,
10:05it'll have moved on to somewhere much worse by now.
10:13Ah!
10:19Ah, Eric!
10:20I do hope that wasn't a rat.
10:23Oh, no, no, no.
10:25That's not a rat.
10:27I'd be most perturbed if it were.
10:30Oh, well, perturbed not.
10:33You see, that's just, um...
10:34Well, that's Claire and Brian's gerbil.
10:38Gerby.
10:39The gerbil.
10:43Shh!
10:44Well, perhaps you'd better rescue him and take him inside.
10:49Yes.
10:51Right.
10:53Here, Gerby.
10:55Here, boy.
10:56Shh!
10:58Shh!
11:02No.
11:03Please, go away.
11:05Please, go away.
11:08There.
11:10Perhaps you'd better pop him back in his cage before he escapes again.
11:15Yes.
11:19Drama over.
11:30Ah!
11:33Don't!
11:35Don't panic, Eric, don't panic.
11:37It didn't break the skin.
11:38You weren't bitten.
11:39And he did feel quite clean when you were stroking him.
11:43Ah!
11:44You stroked a rat!
11:55Just calm down, Eric.
11:57Take a very, very deep breath in.
12:00And a very, very deep breath out.
12:03It's fine.
12:05Everything's under control.
12:27Yes, he's 45 minutes late.
12:29So, he'll definitely be here in a quarter of an hour.
12:31You sure?
12:32Okay.
12:34You said 15 minutes last time.
12:36I can't hang around all day.
12:38So he's literally outside the house now.
12:42How can he have been outside the house half an hour ago?
12:45He still hasn't knocked on the door.
12:48Ah, at last.
12:52Thank goodness you're here.
12:53There's dozens of them up there.
12:55They all came pouring out of the lures.
12:57They're great, big, huge things.
12:58Tails, furry bits, teeth like paving stones.
13:01Anyway, you're here now, so I'll just leave you to it.
13:05Cup of tea?
13:11Well, because at the end of the day,
13:13those figure skaters are proper women.
13:17I got a proper woman's shape.
13:19You put that Cathy Moss on the ice.
13:23And I, and a lot of people like me,
13:25would be physically sick.
13:28Well, she ain't a proper woman.
13:30She's a twiglet.
13:33And who wants a twiglet in a World Figure Skating Championships?
13:36Bob, look at the time!
13:40Blimey, I had no idea it was so late.
13:43Oh, excuse me.
13:56No wonder I was so hungry.
13:58Yeah.
13:59I'll have a cup of tea with this.
14:03Of course, the funny thing is,
14:05these models put themselves through all that no chocolate and lots of rhubarb stuff,
14:10but at the end of the day,
14:12you ask any man to choose between Normie Campbell
14:15and the driver of the German female bobsleigh team,
14:18and I bet it would be Heidi Fackenbacher every time.
14:26Look! Rats! Rats!
14:32Right, well...
14:35Can't stop here chatting you all day.
14:37Thank you.
14:39I've got to finish me dinner.
14:42Alison?
14:43Yes?
14:44It's me.
14:45So?
14:46How's the tidying going?
14:47All right.
14:48Look, I've just had a thought.
14:49We can put the most recent files into the filing cabinet
14:51and save all the current contracts and anything to do with your management review plan.
14:54Then you can put the closed file down in the darkroom in the bedroom.
14:57Now, if you can't do that,
14:58the big picture is it doesn't like being loaded with stuff,
15:01but tell him that it's for me,
15:02and I say it's urgent,
15:03and that he should find some room for it in the last two financial years.
15:06As for the rest of the stuff,
15:07phone supplies, Etsy,
15:08and maybe let us have another filing cabinet,
15:09even if it's only temporary.
15:10Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
15:11Wow!
15:12We can probably manage just one four-drawer cabinet.
15:14If there's a problem,
15:15then try some of the other offices.
15:16Sales have got loads of cupboards,
15:17and I'm sure they don't use half of it,
15:18so try and beg a bit of space off them.
15:19Again, it doesn't have to be permanent,
15:21just as long as we can store some papers and things in there
15:23until after the Japanese have gone,
15:24then we can worry about finding a permanent home for it.
15:26But do tell them how important it is.
15:28They'll know about the Japanese visit,
15:29and they'll know it's urgent.
15:30And if they can't manage it,
15:31ask in marketing,
15:32ask in accounts,
15:33and ask in credit control.
15:34Also, and this is vital,
15:35when you're moving things into whichever office it is,
15:37make sure...
15:46No school, no school
15:48We no go to school today
15:51No school, no school
15:53We no go to school today
15:56The dodgy cars!
15:57The dodgy cars!
15:58Let's go with the dodgy cars!
16:01You got it!
16:15Not much room, but they should go in there.
16:16Those have to be kept to hand
16:17because I'm going to need them on Monday.
16:18Now, have you got that?
16:20Yeah.
16:25You haven't started!
16:26What? I've just eaten.
16:27You can't run around after you've eaten.
16:29You end up with heartburn.
16:30Look, I've got to get back to the office.
16:32Please, do something now.
16:33Alright, alright.
16:50Hello?
16:52I'll be right round.
16:58What are you doing?
17:00I've got an emergency.
17:01So what do you call this then?
17:02Look, look, the floor's moving!
17:05I know.
17:06I reckon you want to get someone round.
17:11No school, no school
17:13We no go to school today
17:16Have you been drinking, madam?
17:19Yes, since I was twelve.
17:21If you'd care to blow into this.
17:28Right.
17:29I must ask you to accompany me to the station.
17:33Okay.
17:34But I take my own cab, see?
17:37Hey, come back!
17:40All that aggro for a man with a cricket bat!
17:43Well, I've got a cricket bat.
17:49Right, you first!
18:19Hey!
18:50When do we want them?
18:51Now!
18:52What do we want?
18:53Rights for rats!
18:54When do we want them?
18:55Now!
18:56What do we want?
18:57Rights for rats!
18:58When do we want them?
18:59Now!
19:00Liz, what the hell are you doing?
19:02Murderer!
19:03Mammalian supremacist!
19:05Eric, I can't allow you to harm another soul.
19:09I can't allow you to destroy one of Gaia's beauties.
19:14Ah! It bit me!
19:15Stab on it, Caleb!
19:16Stab on it, Eric!
19:17Do something!
19:27Fuck!
19:28Feeble?
19:29Pee-pee?
19:30Are you tidy yet?
19:35I'm sorry.
19:36I'm sorry.
19:37I'm sorry.
19:38I'm sorry.
19:39I'm sorry.
19:40I'm sorry.
19:41I'm sorry.
19:42I'm sorry.
19:44Oh! Nearly!
19:46Good! Because the Japanese have brought it forward now.
19:48They'll be here at four o'clock.
19:50Damn!
20:44Ah!
20:55Come on, you little monkey!
20:57In you go!
22:14J'espère que oui.
22:33C'est notre top man, Ray Perfect.
22:37Bonjour.
22:39Vas-y, grand homme.
22:40Bonjour.
22:41Je suis Ray.
22:43Je suis venu au Japon.
22:45Je suis venu à Osaka.
22:47Je suis venu à Kyoto.
22:50Japonais.
22:51Très bien.
22:52Office.
22:53Très bien.
22:55Très, très bien.
22:57Je t'aime, mon gars.
23:06Restez.
23:07Restez.
23:08Restez, mon garçon.
23:11Tu es un animal stupide.
23:13Bonjour.
23:14Très bien.
23:16Dieu.
23:19Sortez-le.
23:20Sortez-le.
23:21Sortez-le.
23:24Excusez-moi.
23:25Je pense que vous avez droppé quelque chose.
23:28Non!
23:33Bonjour.
23:35Oui.
23:37Très bien.
23:41Bon sang!
24:02Alison!
24:03Je t'ai demandé de nettoyer l'office!
24:05Qu'est-ce qu'il y a?
24:06Nettoyer, c'est ça?
24:08Et voici les données.
24:14D'accord, mon gars.
24:37Très, très nettoyé.
24:40Très impressionnant.
24:43Très heureux.
24:45Nous sommes d'accord.
24:52Les gens!
24:54Il va bien.
24:55Il se brise.
24:56Regarde, il bouge.
24:57Il s'en va.
24:59Laisse-le.
25:00Laisse-le.
25:08Il va bien.
25:09Feeble, tu es le plus chanceux homme au monde.