I have had sex with many women. How to forget all that? || Acharya Prashant (2024)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...  ~~~~~  Video Information: 13.04.24, Vedanta Session, Greater Noida   Context: What's wrong to have sex before marriage? What if a boy or girl had sex before marriage? Sex: Why Do People Place So Much Importance on It? Both genders would suffer if this happens This is why "equality" is a trap How do you know this is true?  Music Credits: Milind Date  ~~~~~

Transcript

00:00Namaste. I've done things in the past which I'm not so proud of, mingling with some girls

00:11in a sexual way and regretting it later. Such things can be taken back. And living with

00:18it knowing that the sexual energy has affected me in subtle ways, which I can very much feel.

00:25I don't know how to remove this sexual memory from my body. I tried searching online how

00:31to get rid of this memory and my mind is occupied with it. And so is my body, I believe. I want

00:40to get rid of these essence that I have picked up. I'm aware of the changes in my body and

00:46all I want to do is get rid of it.

00:50But what is sexual memory? What do you mean by that?

00:55Like fragrances and the subtle changes that I feel that have changed ever since then.

01:04See, it requires you to be occupied in the same kind of patterns as before. Right? If

01:24you live the same life as you were living hitherto, if you visit the same places, if

01:33you eat at the same places, then obviously all those things will return as nostalgia

01:42to you. You cannot be living the same kind of life and yet hope to not notice a missing

01:57part of that life. Sexual activity or relationships are not something that happen in vacuum. So

02:14you had a set of friends, you also had particular sartorial preferences, you also were spending

02:24time doing something like, okay fine, watching football, watching movies, visiting this place,

02:31doing this particular thing and in the middle of all this and arising from all this and

02:41intermeshed with all this was the sexual aspect of life. Right? Now that sexual aspect might

02:48have proven to bring sorrow to you, so you want to get rid of it. Something happens,

02:57you know, in these things there is a degree of fragility always present, so you now want

03:01to put it away. But you want to keep everything else intact. That's not going to happen. If

03:08everything else remains the same way it was, then this part of life too will cry to remain

03:17the same as it was. You cannot say, you know, I'm still a lover of pizza, but I don't like

03:32cheese anymore. Every time they'll serve you the pizza, you'll be reminded of cheese. Fine,

03:42cheese might still be dispensable, but you cannot say, I am a lover of pizza, I continue to be a

03:47lover of pizza, but I don't want the bread anymore. Every time they'll serve you pizza,

03:54sans bread, you'll clamor for bread. If you want to change something in life, really change

04:10something, you must change the center itself. Otherwise, you are just inviting a sense of

04:22being torn. You visit the same club as you used to. The moment you reach there, they'll say,

04:35well, sir, where's your partner? Stag entry not allowed. And the moment they'll point at that,

04:45you'll be reminded of something and you'll start missing something. Are you getting it? And you

04:57will not be able to stand that loneliness for long. If you want to save your other patterns,

05:07you will be forced to bring in the missing part of the pattern as well. You cannot say,

05:19I want to drive the same car, but without one of the wheels. If you insist that you will drive the

05:29same car, you'll have to bring back the wheel, maybe of a different brand, maybe from a different

05:35manufacturer, maybe with some other stripes and grooves and cuts, maybe alloy wheels this time,

05:48maybe something else. But the replacement would have to be found and that's no good.

05:55Essentially, you have restored the status quo. If the wheel has tormented you so much or if you

06:05have been able to see the futility of wheeling around, you will need to maybe change the vehicle

06:16itself. Are you please getting it? We tend to look at problems in fragments. We think relationship

06:32with one particular person is one particular problem. No. Any particular problem is always

06:40related to all the other problems that you have that applies to a person, that applies to humanity

06:48as a whole. But we do not want to disrupt the other problems because every problem to us is

06:57a pleasure-giving pattern until it shows up for what it really is. So, we remain enmeshed in

07:09problems and at one point in time, only one of the pattern appears as a problem. The other

07:16patterns appear as pleasures. So, we don't want to disrupt them. Only the one particular pattern

07:24that has revealed itself as a problem, we want to do something about it. You cannot do anything

07:30about it. Not possible. All these problems are related to each other and lucky are those whose

07:42problems all together show up all at once. Unfortunately, that does not happen with us.

07:49We are not lucky enough to be attacked by all problems together. In our life,

08:00problems come one at a time. So, we feel now at this moment, there is only this particular

08:08problem and the other factors in life, the other things, other objects in life,

08:12no, no, they are alright. In fact, they are rather sources of pleasure. In fact,

08:17they are the bulwarks helping me to face this particular problem. So, I have five friends,

08:26one of whom has turned into a problem lately. Who are the other four? These four, the other

08:37four are the one supporting me in facing the problem. These five together are not the problem.

08:46One of them is a problem and the other four are my support even as I face the problem. So,

08:56you will cling even more to the other four. The fact is the five of them together are one thing.

09:02These five are not distinct at all. They are five manifestations of the same thing. What is that

09:15same thing? That same thing is called your choice because you are the one who chose all five of

09:21them. Each of them is an exhibition of your choice and therefore, each of them is problematic because

09:31your choice is problematic. What is choice? Consciousness. When one's consciousness is not

09:37elevated enough or pure enough or sharp enough, then that lack of sharpness is displayed in hazy

09:47and harmful choices. The one who is making a harmful choice will make harmful choices in all

09:56matters, no? Or will he make a harmful choice only in one particular matter? I am asking,

10:04think of it. If I do not know how to choose, I will not be choosing a pair of shoes wisely. I

10:11will also not be choosing a handkerchief wisely. I will also not be choosing a job wisely. If I

10:18do not know how to drive, does it matter whether I drive to the left or to the right? If I drive

10:25to the left, I will be colliding. If I drive to the right, I will again be banging into somebody.

10:31Because right or left, it's me at the center, at the wheel. But I think that probably I got

10:43hit only when I was driving to the left. Therefore, it is the left direction that's

10:52inauspicious. Let me avoid left and drive only to the right. As if only one segment of life is a

11:01problem. No, the segment of life is not the problem. The center of life is the problem.

11:05That's why books like Gita help. They challenge the very center of life.

11:18Well, in that case, how do I get rid of, like you gave an example of a pizza. What about the

11:35good things in it, like some vegetables? I can't just get rid of that, right? I might have to

11:42replace it. The good things there serve as convenient excuses for all the bad things.

11:51Good things are always needed so that we can sustain the bad things. Truth is always needed

12:03so that we can cover up the lies. Honesty is always needed so that we can be conveniently

12:13dishonest. Absolute dishonesty would absolutely fall. An absolute lie cannot stand. Therefore,

12:25some kind of seasoning of the truth is needed. Remember that goodness moderated

12:39is just a cover-up for wickedness. If you really want good things, do not take them

12:51through a pizza. Good things are their own justification. Take them for what they are.

13:01You cannot take them as dressings or toppings upon a pizza. Good things must not be ordered

13:11to tail behind bad things. Good things should not be used as a cover-up, as a foil for bad

13:24things. If good things are really good, respect them for their own self. If there are other

13:41olives there or something, why not just consume olives? Why do you need to have a pizza for the

13:52sake of olives? I have nothing against pizzas. Just because the example is stretching too far,

14:04I hope we are not taking this as some kind of judgment on pizza itself. I love pizzas.

14:12Do you think there's a way to rise beyond that in a most effective way? Although I do realize,

14:26as you said, that the problem, I could blame it on my situations and circumstances, but it

14:31arise really just in me. But how do I change myself?

14:37By seeing what you are doing, the action that brings sorrow must become the gateway to the actor.

14:49Ideally, every action should enable you to look at the actor. But if the action begets pleasure,

15:00you do not want to look at the actor. So when the action results in sorrow,

15:07it's an opportune time to look at the actor. Because the actor now is himself saying,

15:13come on, heal me, come on, help me, give me some remedy. So this is the right time to go

15:21to the actor and see, how are you? Where have you been hurt? What happened really?

15:25See how you made those choices and see that those choices are still continuously being made.

15:33That will help you ever further sorrow, rather further disasters. The center from which we made

15:45one bad choice is still active and is still choosing on our behalf, which means more sorrow

15:55is just around the corner. That will also help you get rid of all the nostalgia and the memory

16:04and such things. Should I remember the road accident I had six months back?

16:12Or should I focus on averting the one waiting to happen six seconds later?

16:18I'm rushing into a road roller.

16:23Should I focus on that or should I remain occupied thinking of the bad accident I had six months back?

16:37200 meters ahead of me is that road roller and I'm going to collide headlong.

16:45And I'm going to collide headlong.

16:49When you see that the real tragedy is not what happened in the future,

16:55but what is going to happen just now, not what happened in the past, but what is going to happen

17:03just now, then there remains no incentive to keep clinging to the past.

17:09When you are thinking of all the sorrow of the past,

17:14you have a very solid assumption. The assumption is that sorrow lies in the past.

17:23And therefore, you are looking at the past and asking, you know, how do I get rid of it?

17:27How do I heal it? What if you come to learn that sorrow lies not so much in the past,

17:33not so much in the past, but in the immediate present.

17:39That you are going to collide with that road roller right now.

17:42Would you still want to remember what happened 10 years back?

17:47All the nostalgia and all the memory and all those things will just vanish.

17:51Also, since we were on the topic of food, I have, this is a different question. Is it fine for me to

17:59ask? Yeah, sure.

18:03So a lot around my society and my family, I see so many people are getting a lot of illness and

18:11obviously I follow all the things that you say, but I'm an international student. So being in the

18:19United Kingdom, where I am right now, following such diets, like even if I try to tell it to

18:24people, it doesn't really sit well with them. And often I do, but I don't want to tell it to

18:29people because I don't want to hurt their feelings. I don't want to hurt their feelings.

18:35Following such diets, like even if I try to tell it to people, it doesn't really sit well with

18:39them. And often I do just focus on eating pure vegetarian. A lot of times, like back in my family,

18:47a lot of people that are vegetarian get a lot of health reports where they have less B12 or they

18:54got some kind of diseases or ailments because of not being properly nourished with the food

19:02that they consume. How do I like manage it? Because somewhere I have heard that vegetarian

19:10diet is not sufficient for the minerals or nutritions that I might require as a young man.

19:19You see, for that, there are research reports and qualified medical practitioners and there is a

19:27lot of scientific literature available on the net. You just need to go through all of that.

19:33When it comes to having the right minerals and vitamins and other things in the body,

19:44you know of smallpox and measles and such things, right?

19:48If you get smallpox one, you are unlikely to get it again.

19:53Why? Because what has gone inside you as the virus provokes antibodies. So, you become immune.

20:05Now, that's one way of getting antibodies inside you. Get the virus itself, suffer

20:13and you will have antibodies. But is that what sane people do?

20:22Sane people just get factory made stuff

20:28and inject into their bodies. We call that vaccination. Right?

20:34Yeah. And you too have been vaccinated.

20:38Yes. Did your vaccine come or had to come?

20:44Compulsorily by violence, by killing a living being?

20:50No. Factory made. It's a chemical thing. It just comes in.

20:56What I mean to say is so much of the right things that we need on our body are anyway factory produced.

21:08Right? And they need not have been factory produced. For example, think of the

21:14of the COVID disease. If you do get COVID, you are protected against,

21:22at least to some degree, you are protected against getting infected again.

21:28But is that the course you want to take? Do you say, let me get COVID once and once I get it,

21:33then again, I'm unlikely to get it. No, you don't. You instead rely on factories.

21:39And what do those factories produce? Something that ascertains your health. Right?

21:46So why can't you take factory made B12?

21:50If your vaccines are factory made and you have no problems taking those vaccines,

21:54why can't you take in factory made B12? What is this entire tamasha

22:02about vegetarian food lagging in B12?

22:06Go pop a pill. You take in so much that is anyway factory made. Right?

22:15Modern life depends on factory products. Do you then say that everything has to be normal and

22:20natural? Do you then say? Then why do you insist in the case of B12? Let B12 come from the factories.

22:26What's the problem? Just as the vaccines come from factories.

22:30Even that which you call as natural comes from the factories. For example, powdered milk.

22:38Do you think that comes from a buffalo?

22:43Everything that you take in is anyway coming from a factory.

22:46Let B12 also come from a factory. No problem.

22:50Or will I say, no, no, no, B12 must be from a natural source. So let me slaughter a few

22:56animals. Then even COVID should be from a natural source. Why do you use that vaccine?

23:01Let the natural virus infect you. Why do you take in any piece of medication?

23:11Let life be natural. Why should you even live in a house? Live on a tree? Let life be natural.

23:21Why should you brush your teeth? No natural being brushes teeth.

23:32Why should you get a haircut? Why should you use headphones? None of these are natural.

23:39Why should you be educated? Why should you marry? None of these are natural.

23:44To be human is to wisely transcend nature.

23:51And if you cannot transcend nature, you are an animal. I am not talking of violating nature.

23:57I am not talking of harming nature. I am not talking of exploiting nature.

24:03I am talking of wisely transcending nature.

24:06A human being by definition is one who can transcend nature.

24:11So use your factories to manufacture B12 and take in the right dose. That's all.

24:18Just as tetanus, smallpox, diphtheria, you don't hear of them anymore.

24:28You don't hear of them anymore, right? Polio. Why? Because you took in something that was factory-made.

24:40Even malaria in the developed world. I don't think in the UK there are any cases of malaria

24:45since decades now or plague.

24:49If someone says, you know, but it is unnatural. You say, everything is unnatural.

24:55Even your moustache is unnatural. Which animal, which natural animal is seen to keep a plague?

25:02You say, I don't know. I don't know.

25:04I don't know. I don't know.

25:06I don't know.

25:08I don't know.

25:10I don't know.

25:12I don't know.

25:14I don't know.

25:16I don't know.

25:18You don't know, you don't know.

25:20People still keep a proper beard or a moustache.

25:22Everything is unnatural.

25:24Language is unnatural.

25:26Think of it.

25:28Do you have language in the jungle?

25:30No.

25:32Even if they have, it is some kind of primordial sounds.

25:34Computers are unnatural.

25:36Clothes are unnatural.

25:40It's okay.

25:48You could also say that the technology we use is perhaps just part of nature itself.

25:54We just are able to manipulate them in the way that we want.

25:59Yes, you could say that, but don't say manipulate and don't say we won't say we are able to

26:06wisely use nature as a resource

26:12to uplift ourselves, not just to ingratiate ourselves.

26:19If we say we just want to use nature as per our desire,

26:23then that is what culminates in things like climate change and biodiversity depletion.

26:31Our relationship with nature, prakriti, has to be very finely balanced and it must arise from our wisdom.

26:40Otherwise, what's the problem in just slaughtering everything that you can see?

26:49Slaughter? I mean, and the justification is, I want to.

26:55I want to.

26:58My want cannot be the justification.

27:03My wisdom is the driver.

27:05Yeah, that answers everything.

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