• 2 months ago
Veep Season 4 Episode 8 Bill

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TV
Transcript
00:00Hey, Gary. How you doing?
00:05Good, good, good.
00:06He's not, this isn't yours.
00:07It's my nephew.
00:08Cute, I imagine.
00:11I'll tell you what, kid. Here's a Jackson. Go get yourself ten sodas, and you never saw us.
00:16Or just water. Just choose water.
00:21Wow, this is weird. It's been a long time since I've seen you guys. Wow.
00:26Did you get the juice of those pictures that I sent you?
00:28No, I didn't, Gary. And why the fuck are we here?
00:30Okay, easy. Easy. It's anonymous. Just pretend like your parents are checking this place out.
00:36Paint something.
00:37I don't even paint my own nails. Airy, a Vietnamese lady, does that.
00:41Talk or we leave.
00:43It's the family's first bell. It's a difficult time for the president.
00:47Gary, I'm very good at my job, and even I can't get people to vote for that heap of mystery meat.
00:52It's not that. It's the opposite. She wants it to go away.
00:56So, Selena needs to lose the vote, and you want us to lobby members of Congress under the wire.
01:01I am so glad I left. She has gone full Colonel Kurtz. Is she giving orders from under the desk?
01:07She doesn't even know about this, right? And she's not going to know about this.
01:12Okay, well, in that case, I'm going to say yes to this, but for one reason only.
01:16Loyalty?
01:17Money.
01:18Can't you just do this for Selena?
01:20No.
01:21Okay, well, I can't authorize that.
01:23Well, give Ben to her.
01:25How'd you know Ben was involved?
01:26Look.
01:28Because he's not.
01:29Right.
01:30This is getting completely out of hand.
01:32No, it isn't. We just accepted your proposal, and we'll be in touch with the figures.
01:38Okay, all right. Thank you.
01:40No, no, no. You want to blow our cover? Nobody shakes hands in a craft shop.
01:46You know, at least three of these kids are probably mine.
01:49Okay.
01:53Okay.
02:11What are you doing?
02:12What?
02:13Why are the flowers in front of it? I can't see it if the flowers are there.
02:17Oh, okay.
02:19No, no, let me get that. Sweet little invalid.
02:22I'm not an invalid. I'm completely fine.
02:24That's what I'm doing.
02:25I don't know how I got this from meeting people, I guess.
02:28God, Gary, I wish to Jesus that you had gotten this flu instead of me.
02:32Oh, my God. Me, too. Me, too.
02:34All right, here we go.
02:36Right there.
02:37Whoa, whoa, whoa. She needs to nap. She needs to nap.
02:39And that is a Gary Walsh executive worker.
02:41Duly noted.
02:42Gary, I'm completely fine, okay? I'm just working from home today.
02:46My God.
02:49Okay, coast is clear.
02:51211 are voting against the bill, five undecided,
02:54and we've got three yeses that we're working on turning around into nos.
02:59So, defeat is within our grasp.
03:02Ma'am?
03:03Yes?
03:04Here's an iPad with that voice memo app I like.
03:06Oh.
03:07There's also a cool tile game on here if you want to play a game.
03:09A what? A tile?
03:10Which, of course, you don't want to play.
03:12Is that families first?
03:13Yeah, it's really close, but we're doing our best to lose it.
03:15Can I just restate how difficult me knowing this makes my job,
03:19which is already extremely difficult?
03:21We have to lose the vote to have a chance of winning the election.
03:24We kill the bill, we end the criticism.
03:26I'm the press secretary, but I don't know I can't lie about it.
03:30Including this.
03:31Whatever this is.
03:33Well, you don't need to lie about this.
03:34We're asking people to vote yes.
03:36We're doing what we should be doing.
03:37We're just doing it badly.
03:40Bless you.
03:42I think I just used up part of my pay, Chris.
03:44Don't worry, Mike.
03:45We have a team of our worst people on this.
03:47Coselli, Lennox, the usual saps, Jonah, Richard.
03:51I didn't hear any of this because the acoustics are so bad.
03:54Sue, this is a test memo.
03:57It's a sad memo.
03:58What is this?
04:00It's a footstone.
04:01Oh, yeah, I feel so much better.
04:05Sir, this is a great bill.
04:07And sometimes it takes a great man to see greatness.
04:10Are you a great man?
04:12Title IV, Section 7, negates the entire point of the legislation.
04:17How did they write this thing?
04:18Get drunk and tape crayons to their feet?
04:20Well, what if I told you that was gone?
04:23But it isn't gone, is it?
04:24No, sir, it's still there.
04:26But what if it was gone?
04:28Oh, that's a good point.
04:30And so you're the best the White House has to offer.
04:32Yes, sir.
04:33Two giant children in their dad's suits.
04:37Sir, we have a folder full of numbers here.
04:40And I think you'll find these numbers just to be great, great numbers.
04:45Saying what?
04:47Uh, Richard, what do the numbers say?
04:50You haven't read the numbers.
04:51We've glanced at the numbers, sir.
04:53And at first glance, they are very compelling.
04:55You know where the door is?
04:56Sir, if there's anything...
04:57Oh, wait, you work for President Meyer.
04:59You don't know where the door is.
05:00I'll show you. It's over here.
05:01Sir, you may or may not know that I ran a multimillion-dollar website.
05:04So if I can offer any web design or support...
05:07Sir, can I ask you how you're going to vote today?
05:09No.
05:10Is that no as in I can't ask you or no as in...
05:12Hey, Sue, have you seen my bag?
05:15Whoa, whoa, whoa.
05:16What's going on?
05:17This is my area.
05:18She needs quiet.
05:19What's going on?
05:20Right there in the corner, thank you.
05:21No, no, no.
05:22You can't do this.
05:23You cannot do this.
05:24Sue, I need you to set up an office outside the bedroom.
05:27Okay.
05:29You're not the only one who's important, Sue.
05:33Gary, can I have a hot water with lebanon honey?
05:38See?
05:39You should get on that, Gary.
05:41Uh, I know.
05:46So, Tom, how are you finding our president?
05:49Oh, you know, presidential.
05:51It's like she wants to run the whole damn country.
05:55You know what? The last guy, he was the same way.
05:58We agreed she's going to stay president.
06:01We have to do everything we can to stop that bill.
06:03So, are you?
06:05You know, you just started that last sentence with a we,
06:07and you finish it with a you.
06:09Are you making progress?
06:10Yeah, I'm on it.
06:11I got Richard and Jonah.
06:13Oh, man.
06:14I don't need to know what you're doing.
06:16I just need to get it done.
06:18Huge, huge fight.
06:20Even the bride got involved.
06:22No.
06:23Amazing.
06:24There is nothing like a Boston wedding, let me tell you that.
06:27Wow, that was worryingly good, Tom.
06:30I mean, that was some black belt jujitsu bullshit right there.
06:35I have to go.
06:36Yeah, we'll take this up in eight minutes' time.
06:39You were clear to go in.
06:41You can't go in there.
06:43Kent, you can come straight in.
06:45If Gary tries to stop you, you can ignore him.
06:48Well, I have a memo saying that she needs rest.
06:50When was yours sent?
06:52When was yours sent?
06:53I asked you first.
06:55I have to check my phone.
06:57Ma'am, I know it's difficult when you're running the free world,
07:00but you should really get some rest.
07:02Yeah.
07:03Or maybe I can get a new doctor.
07:05In which case, I'll just say keep taking the fluids, ma'am.
07:08Moyes is voting no.
07:10Good news for the O side.
07:13That's so bad.
07:14I know, I know.
07:15So bad.
07:16Have you heard about Moyes?
07:18It's incredible how short-sighted some people can be.
07:23Unbelievable.
07:24Unbelievable, that's what we were saying.
07:26Check back on you later, ma'am.
07:27Okay, thank you.
07:29Okay, congratulations, ma'am.
07:32So great about Moyes.
07:33We're now only four boats away from killing your bill.
07:36I feel like I'm captain of the Titanic
07:38and I carved out the iceberg myself.
07:41Okay, ma'am, I think you need to take a little power nap.
07:44You need to rest, okay?
07:45Yeah, I think maybe I'm going to rest.
07:47Yeah, just rest your body.
07:48Yeah.
07:49Ma'am, are you ready for your next meeting?
07:51SecDef is here.
07:52Okay, no.
07:53It's okay.
07:54I can sleep when I'm dead.
07:56About an hour.
07:58There is nothing good to be said about families first.
08:02Not since Herod has there been a piece of legislation
08:06so damaging to average families.
08:09Sir, if you want to help working families, this is not it.
08:13This is akin to carrying out heart surgery with a pair of spoons.
08:16I don't need to be ridden by you two lobby horses
08:19to know that this bill is a waste of bowel space.
08:23Well, that's great.
08:25That's great.
08:26It is nice to meet somebody in politics
08:29who knows what he's talking about for a change.
08:31Yeah.
08:32Congressman, I'm just going to leave you now with some numbers
08:34and, uh, spoiler alert, they do not add up.
08:37This is the same folder that Jonah Ryan had.
08:40Wait, you met with Jonah Ryan?
08:43Six-foot waxwork and his cuddly boyfriend.
08:45That would be him.
08:47So you don't work for the White House, but you have the same numbers.
08:49Well, now I'm interested.
08:50Now I am deeply fucking interested.
08:52You have the same Office Depot folder as they do.
08:55I call the Washington Post. I smell conspiracy.
08:57Okay, sure.
08:58So why is this one shaking like Elvis' leg?
09:01You know, I'm starting to get the feeling
09:03that Meyer wants her own bill to fail.
09:07I think I've just re-boarded the Vote Yes Express.
09:13Meyer is a stand-in president.
09:15Don't you think it's time we have someone who is qualified?
09:19The president is qualified to be president
09:21because she is president.
09:23Does your party have a candidate who is president?
09:26I like that.
09:27Thank you, ma'am.
09:28And again, thank you for joining us.
09:30Oh, you're welcome. Thank you.
09:34We need to discuss the color of tie
09:37that Tom's going to wear at the Senate.
09:39I'm sorry, ma'am. What was that? I didn't...
09:41Oh, no, I was just sending a memo.
09:43I didn't want to keep interrupting all the time.
09:45That is very considerate. Thank you.
09:48This is no way to run a civilized society.
09:52I believe that... What is that?
09:55It's a memo from the president.
09:57Go ahead. It's not important.
09:58It is important, Ben.
10:00Every memo I send is important.
10:02Send memo.
10:04Jesus.
10:05I'm not getting any memos.
10:06Oh, now I am.
10:08Go ahead. Tom.
10:10Okay.
10:12Well, Senator, to return to my...
10:15And you got to be aggressive, though, you know?
10:18Man up here a little bit.
10:20Be aggressive?
10:21Yeah.
10:23I'm starting to get really angry, Senator.
10:26I'm starting to feel that you're not really listening to me, Senator.
10:30And I'm getting sick of your constant interruptions.
10:33What the fuck?
10:35Moyes is voting yes?
10:37Moyes is 100% no.
10:39Moyes is a no, Ben.
10:41Moyes is supposed to be 100% no.
10:43That's it. I am throwing the debate.
10:45You win, pretend opponent.
10:48Wait a second.
10:49Kent had a list who Jonah and Richard were singing,
10:50and you had a list who Dan and Amy were singing.
10:52Did you not think to compare the lists?
10:53You know, I have another list.
10:54And you're right at the top of it, Gary.
10:56So don't you dare try to question my fucking methods.
10:59Well, I, on the other hand, do dare to question your fucking methods.
11:03Well, Kent and I were running different parts of the operation.
11:06So your people are going to see the same people as Jonah and Richard?
11:10One. One of the same people.
11:12One. So one's okay.
11:14You just let off one nuke at the Super Bowl.
11:16Oh, so now you want to micromanage something that you didn't even want to be involved in?
11:21I don't want to manage it.
11:22But don't you think we could maybe find someone competent who could?
11:25Okay. Whatever it is, I don't need to know.
11:28I'll tell you what's going on.
11:29Jonah's on Moyes-Irwin today.
11:30And Dan and Amy have too.
11:32And now Moyes is on to us.
11:33Why did you just tell me that?
11:34This is so much worse for me.
11:36I was the field agent who gave Dan and Amy the mission.
11:38I was the messenger.
11:40I could be shot.
11:41Oh, this isn't about you, Gary.
11:42Jesus, nothing here is ever about you.
11:45I didn't hear any of this because I have a really bad case of tinnitus.
11:48Especially when discussing morally dubious things.
11:51So it's kind of like tinnitus.
11:53But I'm implicated. I'm the linchpin.
11:55I can go to jail.
11:56Shut up.
11:57No, you shut up. You shut up.
12:01And I will also shut up first.
12:03Sue. Sue, I need to see the president.
12:06She's in with the Joint Chiefs, Gary. Is it that important?
12:09Listen, Sue, I'm involved with some stuff here.
12:11Scary stuff like take it to your grave kind of stuff.
12:16And that's the way I like it.
12:19Okay, well, she'll be out in five. Can it wait?
12:22Yeah, no problem. No problem.
12:24What if he checks our cover story?
12:26Like, what if he informs Congress?
12:28Dan, he's a congressman.
12:30Congressmen never do anything they say they're going to do.
12:33How are you not freaking out about this?
12:35I'm kind of having fun.
12:37I like having a cover story.
12:39It makes me feel like a Charlie's Angels.
12:41It was a rush.
12:43Yeah, but you're a control freak, and this whole thing is out of control,
12:45so why aren't you freaking?
12:47Relax. I'm finally having fun.
12:49Let me.
12:50Jesus, you know, I always thought the old Amy was kind of an uptight bitch,
12:52but now I sort of miss her.
12:54You know, if I was uptight, I'd be offended by that.
12:56In fact, I am offended.
12:58You shouldn't call people bitches.
13:00You shouldn't do that anymore.
13:02Unless it's like, bitch, or something like that.
13:05Thank you for your service.
13:07How was the meeting, sir?
13:09Very productive.
13:16It was like something out of a political cartoon.
13:19What, you mean not funny?
13:21Oh, God.
13:23How the hell did Moyes end up on two lists?
13:25I made it clear Ben should run all his list alterations past me.
13:29No, no, mine was a master list.
13:31Your list was a sub list.
13:33Mine was a sur list, which means over list.
13:36Oh, fuck you.
13:38Your earwax could bring down a president.
13:40And I didn't even want to see Dan and Amy,
13:42and now they're expecting money.
13:44I didn't know that.
13:45Money?
13:46Money, Gary, I said access only.
13:48Yeah, now we're going to have to divert funds from the campaign,
13:51and that's fraud, and now we're going to have to destroy the evidence,
13:54and that's conspiracy to commit fraud.
13:56No, a cash trail is very fucking bad for us.
13:59Oh.
14:00Hey, hold on there, hunk of the month.
14:02You're going down, and you're going down, too.
14:05I don't know what this is about.
14:07Good point.
14:08Dan and Amy, they're getting paid cash from the campaign fund
14:11to bring down the bill.
14:13There, you've been blooded.
14:15So join the circle, jerk, grab a dick.
14:17Wish I could hear what you were saying over that incessant drilling sound.
14:20Do it.
14:25What cash?
14:27What Dan and Amy?
14:29Ben's paying Dan and Amy to lobby against the bill,
14:31and now there's a cash trail, and we're all incriminated.
14:34But you're not.
14:36Oh, my God, now you are.
14:39Well done.
14:41Now I feel a lot better.
14:44Did you know, Tom?
14:46Ma'am, I am as shocked as you are.
14:48Shocked and disappointed, Ben.
14:51Ma'am, Moyes is voting yes.
14:54Ruiz is voting yes.
14:56This comes down to one vote we need, Congressman Pierce.
15:00My future depends on that dumb fucking elf?
15:04Jesus, where is he?
15:07I'm so proud of how brave you've been.
15:09I was looking for some emotion, but they didn't ask for some...
15:11Hello, Congressman Pierce, Mrs. Pierce.
15:13We are here from the White House on behalf of the family's first bill.
15:16Oh, yes, Mom.
15:18The White House, here to see me.
15:20We need you to vote for the bill.
15:22More importantly, the president needs you to vote for the bill.
15:25President? The president sent you here to talk to me?
15:28She used sentences containing your name.
15:30Okay, well, I'm in. I mean, yeah, absolutely.
15:33Fantastic.
15:35Oh, no. Joker and Penguin beat us to it.
15:38Hey, guys. You're here just in time to celebrate.
15:40The congressman is going to vote yes on the family's first bill.
15:43It was a personal request from the president, so...
15:46Congressman, now, while I respect your decision,
15:49you do understand that the amendments to this bill will negatively affect your district.
15:52Hardworking families don't want to support lazy ones.
15:55Your support will shrink faster than a penis in the December Hudson.
15:58Really?
16:00You shit-eating cocksuckers.
16:02I'm sorry, Mrs. Pierce.
16:04How dare you come in here and try to strong-arm a person
16:06when he's sitting in his sick mother's bedside?
16:08That's exactly what you just did, dumbass.
16:10I did what I did or did not just do.
16:12Could you guys please keep the noise down?
16:14There's a lot of really sick people on this floor.
16:16Yes, there are. I see two very sick people.
16:18Those two.
16:20All right, ma'am, I've just spoken to Amy.
16:22Her and Dan are with Pierce and his mom at the hospital,
16:25but they're just gonna hold up.
16:27Oh, God. She's probably gonna die just to spite me.
16:30That evil bitch.
16:32And Richard and Joe and I are there, and I blame Kent and Bill for that.
16:35Well, this is a long glass of frozen strawberry fuck-up.
16:39Hey, listen, Ben, you're gonna do something.
16:41I don't want to be a bad man for the toughest guy in D-Block.
16:43All right, stop it, Gary.
16:45Okay, look, get Pierce here.
16:47Okay? Right now.
16:49I'm gonna take control of this situation
16:52that I don't know anything about.
16:54Right? Because I am the only one
16:57who seems to be...
17:04Capable.
17:07Oh, my God.
17:10Is it possible to stop coughing?
17:13No!
17:16You are not taking him.
17:18His jittery ass is mine.
17:20Guys, I'm right here.
17:22I'm sorry, your jittery ass is the president's.
17:24You shouldn't even be here, Jonah,
17:26unless you're giving your brain to science.
17:28I'm here on behalf of the president, Amy.
17:30Do you remember her?
17:32She's the woman that would have fired you
17:34if you hadn't gone fucking Fukushima.
17:36That's right. We're on a mission.
17:38I am surprised the two of you even found your way
17:40out of your own mother's vaginas.
17:42Oh, my God, dude, I got out of there like I had a fucking map.
17:44How about a little bit of consideration for a dying woman?
17:47I'm not dying. I'm just here for some tests.
17:49Okay, pipe down. Wait, where's Pierce?
17:51Wait, where's Amy?
17:54No, no, no, no, no!
17:56That's Amy.
17:58Shit. Yeah, what a shame.
18:00You should use this finger to wipe your tears.
18:05No, no, no, no!
18:07Dan, get out of my car!
18:09You think I want to be in this fucking Minecraft piece of shit?
18:11I am an emissary of the president,
18:13and I demand that you get out of my car!
18:16You colossal fucking fanny pack.
18:18You don't get it, do you?
18:20They only sent you because they knew that you would fuck it up.
18:22You're so stupid, you don't even know
18:24that you're being used for your stupidity.
18:26That's bullshit, Dan. I can tell from your eyes
18:28and because it's fucking bullshit.
18:30Where's Richard?
18:32This isn't fucking over, Egan.
18:34Just get in and drive, Richard.
18:36Okay.
18:38Shit. Are you fucking kidding me?
18:40No, it's just a glitch.
18:42Oh, this is your car, right?
18:44All right.
18:46You're backing up?
18:48Just fucking go straight!
18:50I took a precision driving class, Dan.
18:52I think I know what I'm doing.
18:54Ma'am, we've lost Pierce.
18:56I'm sorry. We should have hired Navy SEALs
18:58instead of those two actual SEALs.
19:00How do you lose a whole person?
19:02A cuff link, I get, but not a person.
19:04Oh.
19:06What?
19:08She said she's losing her voice.
19:10Just heard from a reporter
19:12who says Moyes thinks the White House
19:14hired lobbyists to destroy its own bill.
19:16Oh, my God.
19:18Jesus.
19:20Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
19:26She said you fucked up, Ben.
19:28And I'm mad as hell that you put Gary in this shit
19:30and you need to get him out.
19:32She didn't say that, Gary.
19:34Gary, you're the one who brought money.
19:36Everyone, shut your fucking holes!
19:42The president is not sick.
19:44You guys are.
19:46You're parasites.
19:48You're like an infestation of mediocrity.
19:50I don't care if you're a 1950s radio broadcaster.
19:52You're a fozzy bear
19:54that's been ripped up
19:56and used to smuggle heroin.
19:58A Nazi doctor.
20:00I don't even know what the fuck you are.
20:02This is not about serving yourselves.
20:04This is about serving the president.
20:06So let's do that, shall we?
20:08Tom!
20:10Tom!
20:12Shut up, Gary!
20:14I do the team talks, okay?
20:16You're absolutely right, ma'am.
20:18And I agree with everything you just said.
20:20So get it together, people!
20:24Yes, ma'am.
20:26Find Pierce.
20:28Call NASA.
20:30They've got to have a satellite
20:32that can pinpoint a moron.
20:34Yes, ma'am.
20:36If you want to catch a fugitive,
20:38you've got to think like a fugitive.
20:40Where is he going?
20:42Uh, to the airport.
20:44Why would he be going to the airport?
20:46Catch a plane, Dan.
20:48He could just hit the fucking gas, Jonah.
20:50Dan, I'm not getting a ticket.
20:52That's the kind of shit that comes back
20:54to bite you when you run for office.
20:56Yeah, that's what's going to hold you back.
20:58Okay, new rule in the cube.
21:00If your name begins with D,
21:02you need to shut the fuck up immediately.
21:04I'm fine because my name begins with an R.
21:06Uh, if you can get to Amy.
21:08Where?
21:10Jesus Christ, I'm in the backseat, and I can fucking see her.
21:12Oh, right there. Okay, fine.
21:14Congressman?
21:16Oh, wow, well, this is freaky.
21:18Look, I'm not hiding, just so you know.
21:20Okay, Congressman, time to exit the gift shop.
21:22Okay, sir, you're going to have to come with us.
21:24Guys, my mom is too ill
21:26to be left alone right now.
21:28I mean, I left her alone right now
21:30because she likes to read,
21:32but she can't read right now
21:34because she's very sick,
21:36but she might get better,
21:38or she might not get better.
21:40She could be buried with a book.
21:42We know she's not dying.
21:44She's a fighter, is the thing.
21:46Good for her.
21:48As weird as it feels to still be saying this,
21:50the president would like to see you at the White House.
21:56I feel like I'm about to kick it old school
21:58and die in office.
22:00Quoting on a high.
22:06You think I'm doing the right thing here?
22:10I mean, this is a good bill.
22:12Even watered down,
22:14I think it's going to make a difference
22:16in people's lives.
22:18Ma'am, you're the president.
22:20It's not for me to tell you what to do.
22:24Yeah.
22:26Guess I should kill it.
22:28Is the right answer.
22:32Whew.
22:34I am cold.
22:36I see about 110 in here.
22:38There's no way
22:40it's warm in here.
22:42Do you really feel warm?
22:44You could grow tomatoes in here, honestly.
22:46It is unbelievable.
22:48Well, I can't make it cooler for you.
22:50Well, we're taking the credit.
22:52No, we're taking the credit.
22:54How about a compromise?
22:56Well, I'm guessing there's no bounty.
22:58Dan, Amy, how are you?
23:00I'll take it from here.
23:02I want to take it in Pierce.
23:04No, no, no.
23:06We are not going into the White House
23:08and blowing our cover for this guy.
23:10You can't come in.
23:12That comes from the president.
23:14Well, she's a bitch.
23:16I'll tell her you said hi.
23:18Hey, we got to get moving.
23:20Hey, you guys.
23:22Long time no see.
23:24I have a policy on plausible deniability.
23:26Let's get going. I'll see you around.
23:28And by that, I mean please stay away from me.
23:30See you later, ghosts of staffers past.
23:36Madam President, I brought you Congressman Pierce.
23:38I brought him also, ma'am.
23:40Richard Splett.
23:42She didn't ask who you are. You can go.
23:44No, no, not you.
23:46We're such big fans.
23:48I'm a big fan of yours. Thank you, Madam President.
23:50I am here to serve.
23:52How can I help?
23:54The president needs you to do something for her.
23:56And in exchange, she feels that
23:58you deserve a better job.
24:00Yes.
24:04Ambassador, perhaps.
24:06How does that sound?
24:08Ambassador?
24:10Uh-oh.
24:12Not what I was expecting.
24:14What's your favorite city?
24:16Dallas.
24:18I love Dallas, Texas.
24:20No, it would be a foreign city.
24:22Oh, of course.
24:24Ambassador, right.
24:26Well, Paris, right?
24:28J'adore Paris. I've never been,
24:30but it looks amazing.
24:32No, that's not going to happen.
24:34Oh, of course.
24:36Well, I love Australia.
24:38Down under.
24:40The president needs you to vote no
24:42on tonight's bill.
24:44You guys.
24:46Are you serious?
24:48Okay, the president, she wants me to vote against her bill.
24:50Am I being stupid here?
24:52Yes.
24:54No, I mean, you're not being...
24:56But yes, you need to vote no.
24:58Okay.
25:00Like it, love it, don't get it,
25:02but it's all right.
25:04I just want to help.
25:06But yeah, just let me know where I'm going.
25:10You need to know now?
25:12Yeah, that would be great.
25:14What did you say, man?
25:18Mm-hmm.
25:24Mm-hmm.
25:28Her voice is gone.
25:30Yeah, yeah.
25:32Was she able to say where I'm going?
25:34That posting?
25:42Uh-huh.
25:44Mm-hmm.
25:46Mm-hmm.
25:48You're gonna have Paris?
25:50I can have Paris.
25:52Wow.
25:54Thank you, Paris.
25:56Congratulations.
26:00Don't forget to vote, all right?
26:02Yes, yes, yes, yes.
26:04No, no, no, no, I'm voting no.
26:06It's an honor.
26:08Yeah, ma'am.
26:10Pierce went to vote.
26:12And then he thinks he's off to Paris.
26:14I said no to Paris.
26:16We'll call him after the vote,
26:18tell him it's a bogus issue.
26:20He literally could have said anything.
26:22For a moment, Gary was the most powerful person in the world.
26:24That's hilarious.
26:26Give me some soup.
26:28Yeah.
26:30Uh-oh.
26:34The question is,
26:36will the House pass the bill as amended?
26:38This is a 15-minute vote.
26:40Oh, my God.
26:42God, my ass is killing me from that shot.
26:44But I feel pretty good.
26:46Really?
26:48Ma'am?
26:50What?
26:52Oh, boy, here we go.
26:54It's like I want my baby to live.
26:56I don't want my baby to die.
26:58Maybe think of it more of as a bill.
27:00Which, in a very real way,
27:02is what it is.
27:04There's Pierce.
27:06He even walks dumb.
27:08Every time I see him,
27:10I hear the circus music.
27:12Come on, Owen.
27:14It's your time to shine,
27:16you dim fucking bulb.
27:18They voted no.
27:20We lost the vote.
27:22We are victorious in defeat.
27:24We may allow ourselves a brief period of rejoicing.
27:26Okay, so I lost the vote.
27:28I won by not winning.
27:30God, I don't know how I feel,
27:32apart from, like,
27:34having a raccoon take a shit in my head.
27:36You should feel great, man.
27:38That was a solid, important defeat.
27:40I'm gonna go
27:42change my clothes,
27:44croak to the nation,
27:46and then I'm going back to bed.
27:48This is good.
27:50Moyes is threatening to go to the floor
27:52for an official investigation
27:54into what happened today.
27:56This is bad.
27:58I'm in the middle of this.
28:00Does this mean I'm implicated, too?
28:02You know what?
28:04Just say no, even if it does.
28:06This is one of those little hiccups
28:08that you said was not gonna happen,
28:10so I'm gonna leave this in your capable hands.
28:12Mike,
28:14you have to deny this
28:16like you've never denied anything before.
28:18So, lie?
28:20The one thing I've been trying not to do?
28:22Look, I wouldn't ask you to do anything
28:24I wouldn't do myself.
28:26And while that isn't true,
28:28find some comfort in it.
28:32Okay, Gary?
28:34Nope.
28:38I will work on putting forward
28:40a new streamlined
28:42Families First bill
28:44before Congress in the near future.
28:46She sounds like
28:48an underwater Bob Dylan.
28:50It is actually quite difficult
28:52to understand what she's saying.
28:54...children from impending climate
28:56are begetted.
28:58Which may be a good thing.
29:00And God bless America.
29:04And we're out.
29:08Thank you, ma'am.
29:10Okay, thank you
29:12very much, guys.
29:14Appreciate it.
29:18It's cold.
29:20You think you could, um,
29:22just pick this shit up tomorrow?
29:24Yes, ma'am.
29:26Oh, God.
29:34Fuck you, America.
29:36You have 14 new voice memos.
29:38Oh my God.
29:42Mike, some old golfer died.
29:44Do I need to say something?
29:46Next memo.
29:48Kent, I just got your document.
29:50I have no idea what any of this means.
29:54Next memo.
29:56Oh, okay, Kent,
29:58I just found the glossary,
30:00so ignore that last message.
30:02Next memo.
30:04Kent, I just read the glossary.
30:06I have no idea what any of it means.
30:10That's why I included the second glossary.
30:12Next memo.
30:14Mike, is it pissing you off
30:16I'm leaving all these messages?
30:18Yes.
30:20Good, because it's pissing me off
30:22you're not answering any of these messages.
30:24Next memo.
30:28How do you leave a memo in your sleep?
30:30See ya.
30:32Next memo.
30:34Mike, were you at work today?
30:36I don't remember seeing you.
30:38Next memo.
30:40Kent, I'm always asking questions.
30:42This isn't going to lead to any kind of an investigation, is it?
30:44Memo deleted.
30:46I fucking hope not.
30:50Do you solemnly swear
30:52the testimony you're about to give is the truth,
30:54the whole truth and nothing but the truth,
30:56so help you God?
30:58Yes, I do.
31:00I do.
31:02Yes, I do.
31:04Absolutely.