Veep Season 1 Episode 1 Fundraiser
Veep Season 1 Episode 1 Fundraiser
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00:00And who else is confirmed?
00:18Is Senator Dorsey confirmed?
00:20Yes.
00:21Okay.
00:22And Senator Lucas was a maybe, but now he's definitely a definitely.
00:25Oh, that's awfully nice.
00:27It's growing, like as we speak.
00:28Yeah.
00:29Okay, let's go talk filibuster reform.
00:31No, the Vice President does not have a sliver of daylight in her schedule today.
00:35Bye, Sue.
00:36Hey, Mike.
00:37Mike.
00:38Are we pushing the whole cornstarch utensils campaign now?
00:40Yes, ma'am.
00:41We've got a whole online thing.
00:42The inner nerds are on it.
00:43Okay, good.
00:44Oh, and today with the Senators.
00:45Don't forget to smile.
00:46Yeah.
00:47Is that a poppy seed there in your teeth?
00:49Probably.
00:50Yeah.
00:51Oh.
00:52What?
00:53Senator Bixby is coming.
00:54Oh, good.
00:55Yes.
00:56Great.
00:57This is the new fork.
00:58And you know that he's our torque guy.
00:59He's the torque guy.
01:00Right.
01:01Yes, yes, yes.
01:02Of course.
01:03This is the new cornstarch fork, ma'am.
01:04I got the cornstarch spoon.
01:05Maybe tableware for now, Gary, and focus on filibuster reform.
01:09No, no, no.
01:10But Amy, look.
01:11Look at this.
01:12This is classic clean job stuff.
01:13I mean, if I can get cornstarch utensils in most federal buildings by the fall, well,
01:17then the veep has landed.
01:19That is what we are working on, landing you.
01:21Yeah.
01:22Like a big, beautiful eagle.
01:24Do you need a scarf?
01:25No.
01:26Are you sure?
01:27It looks really pretty.
01:28Yeah.
01:29No, I don't want to.
01:30And what about Senator Reeves?
01:31Is he dead yet?
01:32Not yet.
01:33He's mostly intravenous.
01:34He has so many tubes in him.
01:35He looks like a set of bagpipes.
01:36Can I take her coat?
01:37Here's your glasses.
01:38Yeah.
01:39What do you think?
01:40Glasses on for the intellectual look?
01:41Focused?
01:42Yeah.
01:44I like your glasses.
01:45No.
01:46Glasses make me look weak.
01:47Yeah, I agree.
01:48It's like a wheelchair for the eye.
01:49Yeah.
01:50Okay, Senators.
01:51Let the reforming commence.
01:52I'm expecting 50 or 60.
01:53Okay.
01:54Is this the right room?
01:55Are we early or...?
01:56It's late.
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04:08It's worth everybody a gallon.
04:09Okay.
04:10Go, go, go.
04:11Okay.
04:12You should mingle.
04:13Mingle?
04:14Yeah.
04:15What?
04:16How do you suggest that I mingle with this few people?
04:17Did Simon mingle with Garfunkel?
04:20Well, they worked together.
04:21They probably socialized together.
04:23I'm sure they did, right?
04:26Madam Vice President.
04:27Hi, I'm Dan Agen.
04:30I'm Director of Communications for Senator Hollis.
04:31Oh, look.
04:32Currently.
04:33I just want to say that I'm a huge fan of the Clean Jobs Initiative.
04:35Oh, thank you.
04:36Well, you know what I say?
04:37It's a dirty job, and I love to do it.
04:39It's funny, I actually...
04:40Oh, Selena, hi.
04:42Hi.
04:43Hey.
04:44Hi.
04:45The vice president, or Veep, has managed to push you away.
04:48Thank you, Dan.
04:49Yeah.
04:50Harper, it's so good to see you.
04:52It's good to see you.
04:53What have I been missing here?
04:54Power?
04:55Mm-hmm.
04:56I'm kidding, oh, Selena.
04:58I know.
04:59I know.
05:00Coffee for the vice president, please, Dan.
05:02Guess what?
05:03I've managed to get a fresh batch of those European sweeteners you like so much.
05:06Oh, thanks, Gary.
05:07Yeah, they're great sweeteners.
05:08Great, right?
05:09Yeah.
05:10Yeah.
05:11Awful.
05:12Actually, they're just sweeteners I got at a NATO meeting last year.
05:16They really taste rather, um...
05:22Uh...
05:24Unpleasant.
05:25Mm-hmm.
05:26Kind of bitter.
05:27So, Dan, are you enjoying working for Hallows?
05:30Not really.
05:32She's in the middle of the road.
05:33She's mediocre, really.
05:34Of all the okras, she's the meatiest.
05:36Do I add water to this machine?
05:38It's like a robot.
05:40It's a nice bag, Gary.
05:42You know, he calls that the Leviathan.
05:45Ooh.
05:46You got the nuclear codes in there, buddy?
05:48Is there a pouch or something that I put into this?
05:51You still got that guy Mike in your press shop?
05:54Yes.
05:55He ran press for Moses, didn't he?
05:57Oh, God.
05:58Is there, like, an espresso thing, a little Poggiol or anything like that?
06:02Fucking Christ.
06:03All right, look.
06:04Watch me, Otis, man, all right?
06:05You take the little pod, put the little pod in the fucking hole,
06:07shut the fucking lid, hit the fucking button for two fucking seconds.
06:10Oh, it's so easy.
06:11Too quick?
06:12I didn't see it.
06:13Yeah, well, next time, pack an espresso machine in your big fucking bitch bag.
06:16Oh, my God.
06:17Dan seems nice.
06:18He's new.
06:19He's great.
06:20Very loyal.
06:21I got him from an Ohio congresswoman.
06:24You know, he's dating my daughter.
06:26You're kidding.
06:27Janet?
06:28No.
06:29Of course not.
06:30Oh, my gosh.
06:31I'm sorry.
06:32I meant, um, uh, Carol.
06:34Carol.
06:35Mm-hmm.
06:36How are your kids?
06:37Uh, she's good.
06:39Oh, good, good, good.
06:40Great, great.
06:41I understand that you're busy.
06:42I am.
06:43But I wanted to talk to you about coming on board the Clean Jobs Commission.
06:49To get plastics off your back?
06:51No, sorry, Selena, that would be bad for me.
06:53Oh, come on.
06:55They're not going to pull funding over this.
06:58Honey, what is plastics made of?
07:00You piss off plastics, you piss off oil,
07:02and you do not want to fuck with those guys because they fuck in a very unpleasant fashion.
07:07Barbara, are you really willing to sell your soul to the guys who make toothbrushes
07:13and the holders for toothbrushes?
07:18Yeah, they're the guys who fund the members of your Clean Jobs Commission.
07:23I could draw you a diagram, but it would be a very simple diagram.
07:27Oh, I can handle geometry, Barbara.
07:29All right?
07:30Come on, I gotta get going.
07:31Yes, well, I have a ton on my agenda as well.
07:35Watch this.
07:37Senator Reeves just died.
07:39Oh.
07:41Ah.
07:43Ray P. Reeves.
07:45He was the first senator to welcome me to the Capitol, you know?
07:48He was old even then.
07:49Was he full of wisdom?
07:51He was full of bourbon, and he grabbed my left tit.
07:55Remember that?
07:56And God rest his soul.
07:58Hey, did you fire your tweet monkey yet?
08:01Because that guy is a weapons-grade retard.
08:04I think you might have been hoist by your own retard there.
08:08That's a good one.
08:09Your own retard.
08:10Nice.
08:11See you downstairs.
08:12Yeah.
08:13Honor to have met you, madam.
08:14Oh, thank you, Dan.
08:15I really admired your primaries campaign.
08:17Oh, how nice.
08:18Thank you very much.
08:19Two things I would have done differently.
08:21Two things?
08:22Oh, no kidding.
08:23Well, what were they?
08:24Well, I think you spent too much time in New Hampshire.
08:26That was in the bag.
08:27And the attack ads in Oregon came out four days too soon.
08:29They just seemed mean before you had a debate.
08:31But, hey, you're the old pro here.
08:33Oh.
08:34You're the pro.
08:35Well, I'll keep that in mind.
08:41Sorry about the Senate meeting.
08:43Yeah, it was like a funeral for a homeless guy.
08:47Oh, it was hallows.
08:48Oh, you know the usual.
08:50Selena, hi.
08:52I'm melting.
08:53I'm melting.
08:55She is such a fucking bitch.
08:57So, uh, today at the 3.30 press call,
09:00what do you want me to say about the plastics?
09:02I think our best agenda is to sort of reassure from the...
09:04Whoa.
09:05I know.
09:06Don't tell me.
09:07What?
09:08Because if I genuinely don't know,
09:09then those bastards can't make me tell them.
09:11You know my motto.
09:12I don't want to know.
09:13Anyways, what motto?
09:14I don't have a motto.
09:17Hey, Sue.
09:18Did the president call?
09:19No.
09:20No.
09:21Hey, Sue, that is a lovely dress you're wearing.
09:23Thank you, Gary.
09:24Yeah, we're going to need to re-sync your Blackberry.
09:27The diary's been violated.
09:29Hey, ma'am, here's your coffee.
09:30It's really hot.
09:31Can you put it down right there?
09:32Oh, Gary.
09:33Um...
09:38Oh, my God, what was I just going to say?
09:46I don't know.
09:47It just went out of my head.
09:48It'll come to me later.
09:49And Joan is here from the White House.
09:52I think I told him you were too busy to see him,
09:54but as you see, he ignored me, and by implication, you.
09:57Oh, Madam Vice President.
09:59Close the door.
10:00On your way out, close it, quickly.
10:01Quick, quick, quick, quick.
10:02God almighty.
10:05You.
10:06Did you check the Wikipedia?
10:07Did they change her weight again?
10:09Somebody keeps hacking into the site and changing her weight.
10:12Oh, Jonah.
10:14Your new Italian place opened up downtown, Amy.
10:17You like Italian?
10:18I love Italian, Jonah,
10:20but I unfortunately really dislike you.
10:22Oh, I wasn't asking you out.
10:24I just, I don't want you to think that was a burn,
10:26because I wasn't asking you out.
10:27Hey, it's the guy from My Left Foot.
10:30Jonah, how many times have you talked to the president today?
10:33Oh, you want to know?
10:36Yeah, because you need to put it up on that star chart on your refrigerator.
10:39He actually spoke to me four times today.
10:41Four?
10:42Briefing room, NSC meeting, hallway, twice.
10:45And in each of those,
10:46did he say someone get this freak the fuck away from me?
10:49Honestly?
10:50Hey, Jonah.
10:52What's the news from the mountaintop?
10:54Well, the White House would like for you to attend.
10:56Hang on just a second.
10:57Can you do me there?
10:59Doing you.
11:01What?
11:02The White House would like you to attend the 6 p.m. SRVA fundraiser
11:05tonight instead of the president.
11:06Oh, no.
11:07Not on schedule.
11:08That's not going to happen.
11:09I can't do that.
11:10The POTUS doesn't want to get hit with questions on the fiscal responsibility bill.
11:13And, I mean, obviously they won't ask you guys because you have no, um,
11:17you just have other areas of expertise.
11:20Yeah.
11:21Yeah.
11:22Clean jobs, Yemen, mission to Mars.
11:23Yeah.
11:24It's not going to happen.
11:25I'm busy tonight.
11:26It's completely out of the question.
11:27Yeah, we're positioning ourselves right now with the clean jobs commission.
11:29The president of the United States of America is very keen that you're going to the fundraiser,
11:36which should be fundamentally the sequence of events that does actually take place this evening.
11:46I will make a call.
11:51And I'd like you to watch your tone with me.
11:53I will watch my tone.
11:54Yeah.
11:55And, Mike, you need to be there, too, okay?
11:57So no going home to walk your dog.
11:59Uh, don't tell me we can do Doogie fucking Hauser.
12:03I don't know what that means.
12:05Or your left foot thing.
12:07Great movie.
12:08Okay.
12:09Well, I'm going to go back to the White House.
12:11That address makes me hard.
12:13Oh.
12:14Kiss you.
12:15Miss you.
12:20Hey, Mike, what would you say were the two biggest campaign mistakes that we made?
12:28You look tired a lot in the hat.
12:31I liked the hat.
12:32The hat hurt us.
12:34Your head looked weird in the hat.
12:36That's all I'm going to say.
12:38Okay.
12:40What do you think of Dan?
12:42Oh, Dan is a shit.
12:45Do you want to expand on that?
12:47Sure.
12:48He's, uh, massive and total shit.
12:52When you first meet him, you think, surely to God, this man can't be as big a shit as he seems.
12:58But he is.
13:01It's like if there were a book with covers made of shit.
13:04You'd think, that's intriguing.
13:06I wonder what's in this book that they saw fit to give it covers made of pure shit.
13:10And then you open it and, shit.
13:18Thank you so much.
13:19Yes.
13:20How are you?
13:21I see you.
13:22I see you.
13:24There's Congressman Clemens.
13:25You should speak with her.
13:27She's got a small mustache.
13:28It's a little disturbing.
13:29Don't scare her.
13:30Okay.
13:31The podium is definitely too high.
13:33Box me, Gary.
13:34Box me.
13:35Oh.
13:40What is the utensil situation?
13:42Is it corn starch or plastic here?
13:44Stay away from both.
13:45The utensils are politicized.
13:47You can use celery as a kind of shovel.
13:50I cannot believe you are dating your boss's daughter.
13:54She's fun.
13:55She's sexy.
13:56She can advance my career.
13:58I really like her.
13:59That's the one.
14:00She's great.
14:01That's the one.
14:02We need to talk about the VP speech, okay?
14:04What?
14:05Can I just see that?
14:09White House says we need to majorly redact this, okay?
14:12Redact your fucking face.
14:14The White House does not want anything in the papers tomorrow about oil, okay?
14:18What?
14:19Or plastics, nothing about corn starch.
14:22Her whole position is green jobs.
14:24This doesn't come from me, okay?
14:26So just do it.
14:27You love this.
14:28You love this.
14:29I'm not going to say I don't enjoy it.
14:31Ladies and gentlemen, I want to welcome you all here tonight and thank you for coming.
14:37Hi, Selena.
14:38Hey.
14:39Just a small change in the speech.
14:40What is that?
14:41Plastics apparently talked to the President.
14:43White House doesn't want us mentioning oil or corn starch or plastics.
14:47Just wing it.
14:49This has been pencil fucked completely?
14:52Yes, front and back.
14:53Very little romance.
14:55That's the entire speech, okay?
14:57What's left here?
14:58I've got hello and I have prepositions.
15:02Well, you could talk about your boat or something like that.
15:04Sure.
15:05Talk about the boat.
15:06Gary, seriously, can you just shut up for two seconds?
15:08Okay, now I can't read what you're writing.
15:10Selena, relax.
15:11You're really good at Senate vote reform.
15:12Hit that one.
15:13That's a home run.
15:14That's your Sergeant Peppers.
15:15We can also use my kitten heels gag.
15:17All right.
15:18Is that funny?
15:19No.
15:20It's funny enough for these people.
15:21Hit the verbs.
15:23I got it.
15:24I don't know what that is.
15:25Please welcome Vice President Selena Meyer.
15:28Money.
15:29Money.
15:30Pennies.
15:31Penny.
15:33Hey.
15:34Hi.
15:35Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests, as I'm sure you're aware, I have stepped into
15:42the President's shoes this evening and who knew he wore kitten heels?
15:51No.
15:54He of course doesn't.
15:55He's more of a stilettos kind of guy.
15:58All kidding aside, I am reminded tonight of the late Senator David Reeves.
16:17He died.
16:22He's a dead now.
16:25And I remember, dear David, talking to the President and myself about the absurdity of
16:33allowing multiple filibusters on a single bill.
16:38And politics is about people.
16:48It's about people.
16:52Is your guy going to be tweeting about this?
17:00Okay.
17:01Well, let me put it this way, Sam.
17:07That guy is no longer in a position to pay his iPhone contract.
17:13That's because Mike McClintock there threw him into the Potomac River.
17:20Oh, boy.
17:21It seems like with that cornstarch treat we were hoist by our own retard.
17:31I know.
17:32I know.
17:33I know what I said.
17:34It was the use of the word retard.
17:36But it was a joke.
17:37It was a joke.
17:38And then everything went fine.
17:40I think it would behoove you to make an apology as soon as possible, in which case I can get
17:44someone in your office from an appropriate mental health charity.
17:48Who the fuck is Pretty Boy?
17:49Who the fuck is Pretty Boy?
17:51Look, it's going to be in the papers tomorrow.
17:53Not necessarily.
17:54Let's not make it the story and panic, okay?
17:56What if Tom Hanks dies?
17:58What a dark thought.
18:00I'm not wishing that.
18:01I'm saying anything could happen.
18:02Tom Hanks could die.
18:03There could be a forest fire in L.A.
18:04How did you do this?
18:05We don't have this job.
18:06You're the one based on press strategy, based on trying to figure out when Tom Hanks is
18:09going to die.
18:10Somebody order a dictogram here.
18:11Yes, seemingly.
18:12Okay.
18:13I'm not strategizing.
18:14In a closet.
18:15All right, what we're going to do is we're going to walk slowly to the car, okay?
18:17Yes.
18:18But you guys surround me very purposeful.
18:20Like a human motorcade.
18:21Exactly.
18:22We're discussing important things.
18:23Like the Pope.
18:24Come on.
18:25Okay.
18:26And smile, though.
18:27Smiling.
18:28Smiling.
18:29Smiling.
18:30Smiling.
18:31Smiling.
18:32Smiling.
18:33Smiling.
18:34Smiling.
18:35Smiling.
18:36We're going to talk about that.
18:37It's not enough of a motor, surround me more, though.
18:38Surround it.
18:39Surround me.
18:40Okay.
18:41Yeah, okay, okay.
18:42I need to keep these off your jacket because the static attracts and retains dirt.
18:44So, can you just do that?
18:45Thank you, Gary.
18:46Making physics fun.
18:47Every minute that we delay, retard goes up a font size.
18:50Well, then, start the process.
18:52Mike, I think that we're going to have to have you pooling all nighter.
18:54No, I can't.
18:55I got the dog.
18:56Okay, listen.
18:57Mike, can you go home, feed the dog, walk the dog.
19:01the dog shoot the dog bury the dog and then come back in okay the dog will be fine
19:08she was trying to be funny i know she's not funny of course i know that no no no she
19:15won't be available for that either no i can't say no to you again so i'm just gonna um
19:23good morning
19:23morning seen this everybody seen it everybody got a good look front page of the style section
19:33of the washington post you're the head of communications is that correct yes ma'am
19:39tuck your shirt in okay your dick is hanging out of your pants
19:45sue did the president call no no
19:47hey everyone hey what colossal fuck up are we dealing with this morning
20:00did uh the veep kill the last remaining snow leopard did she firebomb a hospice i don't have
20:07time to ignore you jonah gary could you please ignore jonah for me what do you want jonah uh
20:11i have a condolence card for senator reeves's widow potus is signed v potus needs to sign
20:17and then i'm going to take this to the hill okay talk as if you're passing the civil rights act
20:23look alive gang hey good luck and what you got cooking dickwad pie amy this is paul burton he's
20:30the chair of the american foundation for developmental disabilities hi how are you
20:34hi it's nice to meet you i'm amy mr burton love to bring you into my office did you know that i
20:40have my own flag ma'am i have a condolence card here first for senator reeves's widow oh uh amy
20:46can you gary we are gonna need two coffees uh shouldn't that be three two is good
20:57uh guys a man is dead when a sexual harasser dies we sign his wife's card okay
21:04that's how washington works so i will sign it thank you that was her telling me to sign
21:10her name she'd wanted me to sign your name she would have done this
21:16that didn't get me i mean i misjudged things fundamentally i would say i misjoked i mean if
21:23we were gonna really be tall dark and tiresome you need to get back to your boss's corner
21:30hallows is on the rope she was reported by the blog saying that the late senator reeves had a
21:34history of sexual misconduct yeah well you know what i don't work for senator hallows i resigned
21:40just about an hour ago are you kidding me yeah right after i leaked that story what are you
21:46planning what what what can you please keep your eye on him please yeah because this is shady shit
21:54okay all right mike here's what we do okay look at the 11 30 you say that senator hallows not only
22:01insulted the late senator reeves but that she also encouraged now i strike that she goaded
22:08the vp into using the word retard in a joke you see what i'm doing senator hallows is responsible
22:15for retard gate are you like a guy trying to be clever because you seem like a guy who thinks
22:20he's being clever take a good look at me okay now ask yourself something mike is the man you're
22:27looking at gonna be in a position a year from now working above you or below you because all ambition
22:33you had left your body a long time ago now all you've got left in the last 10 remaining years
22:37of your working life is a damp apartment cold crab cakes and an invisible fucking dog do you
22:43want to follow this plan or not make a calculation buddy um in your poli sci ba did you ever learn
22:52how to write a press release i think i might heard of that let me teach you okay did jonah
22:58leave is he is he gone with that condolence card yeah he just left because uh i um think that i
23:06signed my name what not selena's name my name okay whoa whoa okay wait how sure are you on a
23:13scale of one to ten like one is the yeah yeah i can work out the fucking scale go gary uh
23:18nine that's almost a full ten so let's just oh father just gonna look like the v couldn't be
23:25bothered to sign a condolence card for one of the most respected perverts in the senate
23:28yeah i'm writing a memoir which i'm not but if i were
23:33be a big moment no one can know about this she cannot know about this okay
23:41what are you doing
23:59what the fuck in me
24:07i am putting out two fires in there and i turn around to find out that you have set fire to the
24:15fucking fire truck the level of incompetence in this office is staggering we are going to get
24:24the card back and replace it with a new one yeah that's right simple you're gonna get on it
24:31you are gonna shut this the fuck down okay because i am busy in there apologizing to that
24:39you fucked hard
24:45god okay it's fine
24:52mr burton i'm so sorry we're having a complicated day here
24:59i'm not happy about having to give this press briefing yeah and of course your happiness is
25:03top of my agenda right above climate control and child trafficking oh my gosh is this gonna
25:08become like moonlighting where we fall in love and start fucking gary is going to go to jonah's
25:15office and somewhat surreptitiously get the card back well i don't have a coat i need to hide the
25:21card i mean there's good coffee on my coat yeah that's right you want to you can borrow my coat
25:25thank you sue thank you sue thanks solution sue of course right thank you solutions
25:32thanks thank you so much that was really kind of you
25:40first of all you should put the hood hood down
25:46well good luck gary i'm i'm uh convinced that you can probably do this thank you
25:53i'm gonna uh ring through tell him you're coming no my god a joke hello
25:59lightening the mood here amy come up with a plan b okay because
26:25gary
26:29you
26:32are you here to steal the incorrectly signed card gary come on no this is really bad it's
26:38not bad it's not gary i'm a friend of yours i don't think you are at all i'm just kidding
26:46gary loosen up okay i'm gonna give you the card all right all right
26:51to be honest i was a little scared yeah yeah there it is thank you
26:55you this is really okay i'm sorry let's just get to the bad part let's just get to the bad
27:02part because i know you got one i don't like tension i got acid reflux let's get to the bad
27:06part i want amy to go on a date with you tonight okay okay okay that's impossible don't worry about
27:14it okay we're not gonna have sex all right okay because she hates me uh-huh but amy's an eight
27:20okay and of all the other eights that i do want to have sex with you see that i am incapable
27:26but i'm gonna be having some sex with an eight very soon it is intern season gary
27:32do i look like a pimp to you you look exactly like a pimp
27:39dan waiting for some crumbs to fall fuck off uh no gotta talk to her for one moment no she's
27:45actually really burdened right now with a bunch of stuff it'll take one second literally she's
27:51spinning oh okay i'll come back hey what's up pumpkin what the fuck are you still doing here
28:05the vice president asked me to stop by right go gary go go go gary go gary
28:14well done buddy you did it yes you got it yes i did wow gary good for you good for oh excuse me
28:25all right yeah although i did have to make a deal with jonah and um amy's gonna go on a date
28:30with him tonight
28:34well you don't want to sex these once dinner and a movie
28:37no amy is not going on a date with jonah
28:42it's a date no sex for me that was 12 years of marriage i'll get you guys a motel
28:51oh god no make a hole make a hole make a hole
28:54oh my god look at this what look what the president already signed this one okay we're
29:02gonna have to forge the president's signature on the new one well that's a capital offense
29:07if he's yeah you could be illegally electrocuted for doing that just so you know i'm not here i
29:12have possible deniability i got it the key is you do it upside down
29:19that is extraordinary is there anything you can't do foreplay direct sunlight
29:28ma'am i'm at your service um amy yes i wanted to talk to you about this
29:34i have offered dan a permanent post here in the office okay yeah all right not a problem
29:42i'll get the blackberry fired up sounds good to me here we go
29:44do you have a second sure
29:52you hired him hired the biggest bastard in dc oh yeah well i'm fluent and bastard
29:57okay it's one of my languages amy i used him to get what i wanted he used you to get what he wanted
30:06no i definitely used him i'm the user and he's the easy okay amy here we go
30:13shrimp linguine and a porno oh hey i'm just kidding it's chicken linguine i'll be over here
30:19dan is manipulative he is cunning i know that's why i hired him why aren't you listening to me
30:26in six months when all this bullshit dies down we're gonna put an oil guy on the clean jobs
30:33commission you're pouring oil on clean jobs oh please please amy grow up this is how they solve
30:39the cuban missile crisis this is my cuba did dan tell you that this is your cuba he's such a
30:46shit i know that's what i'm trying to tell you okay you sold him to me as a shit and that's why
30:51i hired him he's shitty me okay i need a shit you're so pretty i need a shit knock knock hello
31:03bob jeffries oh my goodness and cellulose association how do you do please come into
31:09my office thank you so much do you know that i have my own flag well i hope that's one of
31:14our cellulose flags oh you're too much
31:25so your chariot awaits so yeah grab your coat okay little jack horner there you are you got
31:36a brand new desk in the corner follow me i got a beautiful spot for your adoring photo of
31:42girlfriend carol hallows actually she's not my girlfriend anymore i just broke up with her about
31:4615 minutes ago via text well cold and rather nerdy well actually it was an app all right
31:52slicks moving in gary can we get two coffees in here no sweeteners no sweeteners sugar
32:03no sweeteners no sweetener sugar
32:10touch me you lose a finger and a ball funny story i was at the white house this morning
32:16and the president saw i was eating trail mix so i said do you like trail mix