Baylen Out Loud S01 E08
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00:00How are the two of you
00:02The most Sammy has hemorrhoids. I don't Sammy has crabs. I don't see me as a vagina. I know
00:10Sir yes, sir drop and fuck off. I have a work relocation from the military coming up any day now
00:15I could end up anywhere when I am in training. I can't take leave and come and see you fucking for real
00:23I'm not gonna go eight months without seeing my boyfriend. I don't want to do that. What if we live together?
00:30Seriously, yeah, me and Colin are gonna move in with each other
00:34That's quite aware that this might present itself. Just not today. I can't say this enough. Nothing better happened to my kid
00:42She's my number one priority. I promise you that I will do everything I can to protect her
00:51I have tried several different medications
00:54However because of the side effects, they're not worth taking you can also do more invasive processes like DBS
01:01Which is deep brain stimulation. They just you know drill into your head
01:06So your dad and I talked him before the boys go back to school. We're gonna do a little family vacation
01:10Oh my god, where are we going? We're gonna get like a beach house. It'll be just the eight of us
01:15When did that tip start happening? I thought it for about a week. Maybe you would consider a conversation
01:21With a neurologist, I'm willing to learn more I
01:26Do want to ask your parents blessing to Mary Bailin. What if my dad is like not happening, bud? I
01:33Just wanted to actually come and talk to you and Julie real quick
01:37Okay, I would like to have both of your blessings to have your daughter's hand in marriage
01:51I
02:11I'm thinking Oh God. What if this is a no?
02:20I
02:25Where went or when is this
02:29Gonna take place and where when you ask her I've been planning this for a very long time
02:37Okay
02:39And I know that her dream is to get proposed to on a beach so
02:45I
02:46Would love to propose to her when you guys go on your family trip I
02:54Want your entire family there her siblings I would like to have my parents there as well Oh
03:03Things are moving very fast
03:05Like here. I am trying to digest a proposal that is going to accompany us on our family beach vacation
03:13And it looks like there's gonna be the potential in-laws also coming like there's there's it's all unfolding right here I
03:22Don't want it to be this big crowd. But just yeah the people that mean the most to us immediate family
03:30It wasn't very long ago that
03:33You look back
03:35Bailey just wanted to move out of the house
03:38And then it was I want to try a couple of things and then knives showed up and bicycles and
03:48Now we're
03:50Not now we got engagements going on and now I
03:54Yeah, it's safe to say things are moving really fast. It's like a runaway train at this point
04:00I
04:03Do have a ring
04:07Would you guys like to see it sure
04:11You're hopeful we said yes, I'm I was hoping
04:19I'm sorry. What is it glowing inside?
04:26Good lord Callan
04:28The ring is completely out of control
04:32That's um, wow. What looks like else gonna have to do an upgrade
04:37I've been saving for this ring for about a year and I'm still gonna be paying on it for a while
04:45Did he take out a small business loan? What?
04:50He just came here very prepared like did he rob a jewelry store
04:56Super pretty
04:58Absolute I love it. You did a good job. Thank you. I mean I
05:04I don't really have an answer other than whatever Balin
05:11Wants to do she's got our blessing
05:16Alan gave his blessing for
05:19Balin to decide on whatever she would like and
05:24I respect that but also I
05:28I
05:29Am just confused. I don't know like as a guy that's not what you're going into that conversation
05:35Thinking that's how it's gonna go. I
05:38Don't want her overwhelmed
05:40with a lot of like extra things on
05:45her plate I
05:47Don't want to add extra pressure or stress onto her and that's me me wanting to propose to her
05:55isn't
05:56Me saying hey, I want to get married next month. Mm-hmm. It's me saying hey, I won't quit on you. Exactly
06:03You're very good to Balin and I know that Balin is madly in love with you
06:08We'll help you make your dream proposal happen for Balin. Well, thank you guys
06:12Y'all really did set the expectation really high and I promise I'll be good to her
06:17That's sweet. I
06:19Know it's a lot though. I know it's a lot. Yeah
06:23At this point, how do we even say no it would be very hurtful to Balin and Colin if we're not there to support him
06:30She'll be very excited. I'm very happy
06:34They're gonna be great partners they have great values they have a good family to come back to there's there's so much about them
06:42that's
06:44So beautiful. I think the first girl is different. And of course Balin is very special. So
06:50Just makes everything a little bit harder
06:55We got a vacation plan at 2029
07:04You drove all the way here for this
07:09Wow, I'm glad that you came to speak me too. There's no idea
07:14Wow, I'm glad that you came to speak me too. There's no idea. Yeah, it's good. Oh
07:23Colin thanks for coming. Thank you again. Yeah for everything
07:30Congratulations, okay. Thank you. All right
07:33Gosh, I felt like I couldn't breathe in there. I was super nauseous. I
07:38Knew that Alan was feeling a lot of emotions like I was taking a daughter away from him
07:43And that's what I didn't want it to feel like I
07:46Don't want to hurt him
07:48Water and soda in the fridge grab one for the way home or whatever. I just want to marry Balin
07:53All right. Y'all have a good night. I
07:56Know that Alan's tough and it's not his full acceptance, but it is a start
08:01It's good, it's a beautiful thing, it's nice that he's gonna put a
08:06It's good, it's a beautiful thing, it's nice that he's gonna put a
08:11Big rock on her finger that says I will not quit on you
08:16Or a down payment
08:31Just got back from the DePriest house not too long ago
08:35One of the first things that I did was I talked to my parents about booking flight tickets
08:39And I'm also thinking about getting event planners. This is a lot to plan and
08:45I think I'm gonna need some help doing this
08:49Hey Colin
08:51Hey, babe, can you come here?
08:54Yeah, why do you look like you're in trouble flop where'd you poop did you take a shit somewhere full
09:02Oh
09:14Yeah, well that one came from a samurai movie
09:22If I choose a regular movie Mike Tyson's bald
09:27They're gonna have a bald person in there or if I choose another one they're gonna be in British and she's speaking
09:33So it's like really hard to like find a movie that she's not gonna take about
09:38So my mom told me that
09:42Her and my dad got me into see a neurologist in Boston
09:48For DBS
09:50My
09:52Mom was able to secure an appointment with a neurologist in Boston. I know that my parents are excited to go and
10:00Learn more about deep brain stimulation surgery, but it's a really invasive surgery. So
10:08Not really the biggest fan of it
10:11So, I mean obviously, you know kind of where I stand on DBS like I think DBS is
10:19Meant for a last resort like my Tourette's is affecting my life so much that I can't do anything
10:26And I don't think that you're at that state. No, I completely agree with you. Yeah
10:31Bailey getting itch DBS
10:34Really a risk and reward how I look at things and there's a lot of risk to getting DBS
10:40You don't know the outcome of the actual surgery. You don't know if it's gonna help you or not
10:45I
10:47Wish that I would be able to come with you to Boston. Fortunately, I have to work so
10:55I'll be fine. I'll let you know everything and I'll call you
10:59this is gonna be such a crazy week Colin when I come back from Boston and then
11:07As soon as we get back I have to start packing for our family vacation to go to Ocean City like
11:13So have fun
11:31To be honest with you, I actually don't feel like putting away dishes right now. You're doing good. Keep going
11:38I
11:40Sparky jeez, what are you doing? Getting a cup of water? Oh, it's been a day
11:48Ben a day
11:50I'm glad you're sitting down. Wait, where are the little boys? Why?
11:54Your mother and I need you you guys to like be part of this secret so you could help us
12:01So
12:03There's no easy way to say this but we saw an engagement ring
12:16Yeah after Colin told me I went straight to Burke and told Burke for sure
12:21But I didn't tell my parents because I didn't want to spoil or ruin it. Yeah, that's a good point
12:25It is such a big moment. I just don't want to spoil it
12:29Like it's just I don't know
12:32What
12:33Collins got a relocate to wherever he's going at some point in their lease. Well, how do you know that?
12:38Everybody knows that. Mm-hmm. Whenever it is that he's got to do
12:41I'm sure it's gonna be within the next 14 fucking months least that they just signed and
12:46Does he want a ring on her finger to drag her with him wherever he goes? I
12:52Know we can seem pretty tough on Colin sometimes
12:56But will Colin ever amount to what we would do for Bay or the ends of the earth that we would travel for Bay
13:03Would Colin ever do the same but I do think you can't just keep judging him and judging him
13:08You have to give him a chance first
13:11That's a lot
13:13So did both you guys support
13:16Proposal I just said I support whatever Baylands decision is and I respect
13:21Colin for coming here and speaking with your mother and I about it and doing the things that I would expect another
13:28man to do
13:30When my dad said I support whatever decision Bay wants he doesn't want his opinions to
13:36Deter bailing to yeah get in the way of bailing
13:39If dad said no, I think Bayland would absolutely spiraled the last thing he wants to push anybody away
13:46Colin has taken this like leap of faith and he has found somebody that he doesn't want to quit on
13:53If you say anything about when he's proposing he said that she would like to be proposed to on a beach
14:01So what we're gonna do is we're gonna try and make what they want happen without Bayland knowing
14:07Are we going to the beach for a vacation or is this now a proposal event?
14:12Yes, I
14:15Think the beach proposal makes sense because
14:18Baylan told Colin she wanted to get proposed on a beach
14:21So like one other time is the family gonna be together on a beach that isn't suspicious, you know
14:27Yeah, so I think the timing actually is pretty perfect
14:31But we have to keep it a secret from Baylan
14:33So if it's you going with Baylan a distractor for a while why we get things
14:38I'll go wedding dress shopping with Bay tomorrow
14:40So I'll go wedding dress shopping with Bay tomorrow
14:43I'm super pumped for Baylan and even though of course Alan has some of his fatherly reservations
14:50We're gonna be there to make it special for her
14:52But we don't know what all this will entail and it's not like Colin has a lot of time to make this happen
14:58Like time is of the essence and he should be in a real crunch
15:02We leave in a week
15:03The one surprise you can keep from her just keep this one because as soon as the boys find out it won't be long
15:10I mean vector couldn't keep a secret to save his life. Let's just try to keep it in this room. I
15:16Just don't want to get back to Baylan
15:23So this is the actual electrode you'd be in a frame literally bolted to your skull to keep your head stable
15:30They make an incision they pull the skin back they drill a hole and then they stick it down in your brain
15:37Well, I'll know
15:40Bitch
15:42You
15:57I'm glad Burke agreed to watch the boys. That's super sweet of him
16:02After Baylan agreed to learn more about DBS
16:05We made a bunch of calls and a top neurologist in the Boston area was able to fit us in so we're
16:11Beating up there for the day. I
16:13am the most
16:15Anxious slash excited for this doctor and this appointment for probably any other I thought at first you were kind of joking like hey
16:23we got him to go to this thing and yeah, no, it's
16:28One of the toughest aspects of Baylan's condition is finding doctors who will look at Baylan as a person and not just her condition
16:36There she is
16:39Hi, I want you to drop me off
16:42The reality is that she is a very complicated
16:45Case and it's very hard to find the best of the best doctors to take her on because they have waiting lists for months
16:53And up to years. Are you excited to go to Boston? Yeah, you look a little bit emotionless. No, well
17:01I'm just well, we knew you weren't gonna come in here and be like, hey, I hope to have a
17:05Open
17:07brain scan at 2 o'clock
17:10I'm excited to go. I've never been to Boston, but also I'm excited to meet her the most important thing. I want to leave today knowing is
17:19having a doctor that sees something in me and is like I
17:24Want to help you, but also at the same time. I'm worried that I am a candidate for DBS and that scares me
17:33They when you sit up fronters, Julie
17:36Well, I'm probably gonna take a nap when life gets really complicated for her and overwhelming her ability to adjust
17:44It's never
17:45like top-notch
17:47you got you and
17:50It does just seem like Baylan has been under more stress since moving out and we know
17:56That she can regress very quickly. So this procedure could honestly be a game-changer
18:02Oh
18:13This is it
18:16Are you nervous kid?
18:21I'm a little bit anxious, but I mean I always am when I'm going to a doctor's appointment. Well
18:26Oh
18:30The nerves are kicking, okay
18:33Hi
18:35Hi, hi, I'm Alice Flaherty. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you
18:43My name is dr. Alice Flaherty, I'm a neurologist and psychiatrist at Harvard Medical School
18:49Fuck off. My area of specialization is
18:53Particularly people with mood and movement disorders and a lot of them have brain stimulators. I'm not Baylan's doctor
18:58I'm just meeting her today for informational purposes, but I have lots of patients like her
19:04So I guess one of my questions would be what are the things that brought you here?
19:09Well, I think we all see that with some of her Tourette friends that have had DBS
19:15It has had a big impact on their lives
19:18Don't really know
19:20qualifies or if it would even have a big impact on her life because
19:24She's a little bit of an atypical case the later onset
19:28like the whole gamma of comorbidities like
19:33anxiety ADHD
19:35OCD bitch is a fruitful life
19:39Being the way that she is or is there a measure that we could look into maybe not now
19:44But if her future necessitates it, so yeah
19:47Joe Biden is buried in my backyard after sorting cocaine off of a zebra during the Revolutionary War of 1812
19:51Then he was in the Great Depression in 1920s. We did Joe
19:56When I compared Baylan to Tourette's patients
20:00I've seen in the past year her tics are much more frequent continuous and much more complex than
20:06Most people who have just simple tics like, you know, wrinkling their nose or tilting their head because all of that
20:13Encompasses what she's dealing with it's been very hard to find somebody that we can relate to that
20:18We want us at least want to stick with her care and a psychologist like that
20:23Both. Yeah, especially for the comorbidities. My comorbidities are a lot worse
20:28Yeah, you know most people with Tourette's do find that like it's the it's the other stuff that's worse whether it's you know, the
20:36ADHD and OCD or if it's it's you know, the depression of dealing with all this is like awful. I'm sure
20:42to me someone like Baylan is
20:45An especially interesting patient because she has this complicated overlap of neurological and psychiatric
20:52Conditions which like the brain doesn't make that distinction
20:55It doesn't care but people with both
20:57Tend to really fall between two stools because the neurologists are like I don't want to deal with that and the psychiatrists are like
21:02Oh, that's neurology. That's too scary, too. So it's like this huge in no man's land
21:08but I feel like
21:10Maybe I could help her
21:13So I guess start like what are the things you would like to know about deep brain stimulation?
21:19Everything top to bottom. Yep
21:22so I
21:23Love brain stimulators. I think they're so helpful for people
21:27bitch one of the things I think is kind of funny about the name deep brain stimulator is
21:33Even though it's stimulating in that it's putting current into an area
21:37The effect is actually that it's inhibiting an area
21:39So it's sort of sending a jamming signal to an area that's helping to produce these tics or the feedback
21:46That contributes to the tics and Tara has been studied enough
21:49So they they know the parts of the brain where those tics are kind of originated from that's a really good question
21:55So in terms of studied enough, it's still not FDA approved
21:58And there's kind of a reason for that is like it's not nearly as slam-dunk as like Parkinson's
22:04We do it all the time for essential tremor where you turn the stimulator up and the tremor goes away, you know
22:08It's harder than that
22:10But recently there's been a bit more enthusiasm because they have so much data now that people are getting on average like 50% decrease in their tics
22:21I know the procedure is really invasive in a lot of ways
22:25But how astounding is it that Baylands tics could get caught 50%?
22:29That's life-changing
22:31Where we start is with the putting the electrodes in so this is the actual electrode tip
22:38you see there's like four little
22:42Where the
22:43Electricity could come out of they would shave your head
22:45You'd be in a frame literally bolted to your skull to keep your head stable
22:50And then they make an incision they pull the skin back
22:54They drill a hole and then they stick it down in your brain
22:59Then that that's like the first part of the surgery and then they leave you they like sew it up
23:04They'd go back in a second surgery
23:06They put this in and tunnel it down and then this gets implanted where you would put a pacemaker battery except
23:12They usually do it on the right
23:17So that is
23:20Bet you know with with Tourette's it's a little bit up with
23:24My color so and it's I wonder if it's work
23:33Well, no, oh
23:38Bitch Oh fuck
23:47With Tourette's it's a little bit
23:49Oh
23:54That's my dog's bark FYI are you like super little dog spot-on
24:02Would you surmise based on what you know about Baylen at this point that she is a good candidate for DBS
24:10Penis
24:13So what I would say is DBS could help maybe the head jerking tics I
24:19Wouldn't rule it out completely
24:21But it's a last resort
24:24Right now I wouldn't recommend it
24:28It's
24:30Amazing to hear that. I do not need DBS right now. Not today. No one's drilling in my brain today or shaving my head
24:37I think that you have better options and it might be good to attack all the stuff around the tics
24:44Oh like we were talking about the comorbidities being worse
24:47Before you decide like what am I gonna do with the tics tics just so often get better when you can get the stress down
24:54What would you suggest?
24:58Next steps for my medical journey. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely
25:02so my first advice would be
25:04Work with someone to find some new med options because there's so many things that you can try that would make you feel better and not
25:10Worse, so that's me the medical journey and the actual medicine aspect of it
25:17Has been a trial and error where we've we've I've tried to a point where we're like this one's worked good that one
25:23No, that one's a no never again. I wouldn't literally be like I hate this
25:28I hate the way it makes me feel and I wouldn't tell anyone
25:31Now that you're older you can sort of take charge more
25:35So are you good with that maybe some different medicines, oh my god, yeah, I'm great with that
25:41well, we can reach out and
25:43Schedule an appointment and if that's possible to speak with you again
25:48I hate to say how much I enjoy my job, but I would love that. I would love to come back
25:52I would love to see you again. I do believe I got all of the answers that I came here for today
25:59Dr. Flaherty
26:01Recommended changing my medication and that's fine. I love to explore that. Let's change my pills today
26:07I mean, I feel like we've met with a lot of medical professionals over the last five years
26:11You know something they feel like we're just yeah
26:14We're just holding it on the tactics and one person's interest in the anxiety
26:17Yeah, one person's or either that or it's that can't be a tick. Yeah
26:21I mean, I'm gonna be a little bit like I don't care what you call it. Let's just make it go away
26:26I'm so relieved because I came into this consult thinking
26:31she's clearly a candidate the doctor seems to think that there are better options or routes for Valen and
26:38that
26:40The least restrictive huge sigh of relief. Yeah, like you can almost exhale like yeah, that's why I love treating Tourette's
26:48People can get so much better
26:50perfect
26:53My friend says he likes me wants to take me to the movie says we'll marry
27:05What do you guys want to wear today
27:07These are gonna be your towels after you're done playing in the beach. You did me
27:12I haven't seen Colin for a couple of days because I've been in Boston
27:16You're packing for the dogs. Okay. Yes, they get outfits too. They can't be naked at the beach
27:22Except for tootie tootie. The only the only that's a little uh, that's gonna show a little too much
27:30Every year in the summer before the boys go back to school. We take a family trip somewhere
27:36And this year we're going to Ocean City, Maryland, which is about a good three-hour drive
27:46I'm sorry. I don't know why your mom makes you wear this stuff. Oh
27:53So, how was Boston I wish I could have been there
27:57I would definitely say that it was
28:00Eye-opening at least for me to hear
28:03They make two incisions here and they make one incision back here for the wire to come down and to the pacemaker
28:11After the surgery you have to wait for the wires to heal and once they're healed
28:16That's when they turn on the device. Is there a risk with attaching?
28:21The wires to the brain because you make it sound like it's so simple there's a risk with every surgery though
28:28It is not guaranteed, right?
28:30Well, no, but nothing's guaranteed, but the doctor told me to work on my comorbidities first. So that means no DBS right now
28:39But I know I have an interesting case
28:43I'm not gonna like pretend like I don't have the case that I do because it definitely
28:49Impacts the way that I live. Mm-hmm, but like right now like
28:54From my perspective you're able to do
28:58Pretty much anything that you want to on a daily basis except for drive
29:02Yes
29:04But in the future depending how my tics progress, it's an option if I need it to be
29:12I'm super relieved that Baylin doesn't need deep brain stimulation right now
29:18The only way I would be in support of Baylin having deep brain stimulation is if she's harming herself to the point where she's having
29:26to get hospitalized
29:27One two, three dick down down
29:30Tell my little caffeine pieces one, two, three go one, two, three go one, two, three go
29:37This is not gonna work out with Baylin coming
29:40The last thing I need is for this proposal to be ruined by a trip to the hospital
29:46Your dad's meeting up with Colin
29:48Colin wanted to talk to him about something. I
29:52No idea what else he could possibly say is Colin pushing his luck. Can't wait to find out
30:15I
30:20I'm excited to go to the beach because the beach is late
30:24fun
30:26Except when I get sand stuck, can I say a bad word mom?
30:33When sand gets in my pockets and I'm pissed off you don't have to stare into my soul
30:46Alan that was my favorite mug. Just kidding. Why cuz it said your name
30:51my name
30:53okay, so
30:55We got how are we doing this again? You're taking Vic. Okay
30:59Sammy and Burke are gonna meet you there tonight. Okay, and then tomorrow when I get these other two
31:05Ready, we'll head that way get Bay
31:08What are we thinking about the big moment?
31:10We have no idea what Colin has planned for this proposal
31:13We know it's obviously gonna happen at the beach. But other than that, we're walking in blindly
31:18clueless
31:20Totally clueless nothing
31:22Same in Burke already know like to make sure the pack something decent for the family photo
31:26The idea that we came up with to get all of the kids dressed up was family portraits
31:32Because the kids will never pack nice clothes and we suck at secrets
31:36So double-check that Bex is good to go Vic is good to go so make sure that they what
31:44Colin
31:45Wants to talk to me. So I'm sure he has something in mind like hey, let's so I gotta go there and like
31:53Yeah, but either way I'll fill you in what happens
31:57This is coming up so fast. It's not like coming up with a plan
32:01Till you know what happens
32:03This is coming up so fast. It's not like Colin has a lot of time to make this happen
32:10Vic come on. We got to get going
32:15Like time is of the essence and he should be in a real crunch
32:20Text me when you guys are okay about the talk situation. Okay. All right. Okay. Love you
32:31Oh
32:38Dude oh my god, this is sick excited. You don't go check it out
32:55Well, this needs to go away this is not gonna work out with Bailin coming
33:00Anytime we go someplace with Bailin
33:02It's basically an automatic at this point in her journey with Tourette that we do a safety check make things tick proof
33:09The last thing I need is for this proposal to be ruined by a trip to the hospital
33:14You see anything else that you're worried about? I mean, these are glass. They are I think yeah knives are the big ones
33:21Oh, this isn't a heater don't it's actually nice. Hi
33:30Oh my goodness, look how cute my gosh Burke, there's a girl for you
33:36If we catch you making out with her after a few drinks, I'm done. All right. When's everybody else getting here?
33:43They'll be here tomorrow because your dad's meeting up with Colin Colin wanted to talk to him about something
33:49When mom said that Colin wanted to meet up with dad one last time. Yeah, I was really kind of I have
33:55No idea what other possible question I don't know he would have for dad makes me genuinely scared
34:03Is Colin pushing his luck what I'm going to dad after he basically said it's not a blessing to give and he's like, okay
34:10Maybe I try one more time
34:12Can't wait to find out
34:14I
34:20Asked Alan to come and meet me because I want to talk to him about being a part of Baylands proposal
34:25I know you and her share a special bond. I'm hoping that he likes my idea
34:31I'm just telling you honestly, I wasn't
34:35Expecting you to shut it down
34:44You
34:49What should we do
34:53So I'm just
34:55At home chillin right now. I'm just hanging out with the dogs. We're just hanging out on the couch chillin
35:03because Collins out doing
35:07Whatever man's is doing he said he was going to run some errands and that he'll be back later
35:11So we have dick a lot of dick tootsie needs a lot of dick
35:17Pop a dick
35:19My dad's coming to pick us pick us up for the beach tomorrow. And I asked I mean me and my deal
35:24It is a bummer that Colin won't be going on the family vacation. But also my sister's boyfriend isn't going again
35:31It is a family vacation. So it's a little upsetting but I understand
35:36Who's excited for the beach
35:39They're all packed me I'm not I'll probably pack 30 minutes before my dad comes tomorrow
35:47typical
35:49Tell him what we're gonna be doing until we until Colin gets back
35:53this
35:54We're gonna be doing this exact thing until Colin gets back
36:01Take a dick bitch
36:06I
36:14Asked Alan to come and meet me because I want to talk to him about being a part of Baylands proposal
36:19I'm gonna coke. Yeah. Thank you
36:21I could tell that Alan and Julie were a little surprised when I asked for their blessing to marry Balin and
36:28I still don't know
36:31If I have his blessing or not, and I don't think I actually do have his blessing
36:35I think it's really up to Bailin
36:38But Bailin and her dad have a super close relationship
36:41And I know that it would mean a lot to Bailin for him to be a part of the proposal. Hey
36:46Sup, buddy. What's up? How are you? Good? I'm hoping that
36:51he
36:53Likes my idea and is on board with it. This is nice
36:57Yeah, it's a neat little spot. You see that dog over there when I walked in when I looked real quick. I
37:04Thought it was part of like the the barrels just like a figure
37:12That's the real deal
37:15So so what's up? What do you need? So for Bailin's dream proposal?
37:19I know you and her share a special bond and I wanted her to hear something from you
37:25before I propose I
37:28Got the idea of you being a narrator of a video
37:32I
37:35Want you to
37:36speak a little bit about her like growing up, you know the struggles that she went through and the good times that she had as a
37:44kid and
37:46Then hit home on like the father perspective of everything how you have to well
37:55Okay
37:57To probably like
37:59Two things one. Yeah
38:02to me
38:03Simple is better and it's more meaningful
38:07It's more
38:09from the heart
38:11second thing is and I mean, I don't want to
38:15Make this sound difficult for you. All right, like I just want to put it out there
38:21My moments with my kids those struggles those rewards those challenges
38:28Though those are for me
38:30You need to do this for yourself
38:33It would probably mean more to her
38:36if
38:37You told her all the things that you guys experienced
38:43Bailin and I we know the struggle. This is your memory with her
38:51My memories are with me and Bailin nobody else and I'm gonna keep them with me
38:56And I think she would rather hear words from Colin then hear words from her dad on that day
39:03so
39:05Make it as special as you can
39:07without
39:09Making it complicated. I
39:11Didn't make it simple
39:16Yeah, I mean I wasn't fully expecting you to kind of shut it down
39:22It is a little bit upsetting that he doesn't want to be a part of the video and thinks it's a bad idea I
39:29Completely disagree with him. I'm just telling you honestly
39:35Things are happening
39:37Really fast. I'm emotionally wrecked not just from this proposal
39:40but the last five years of experience of going through this with Bailin and
39:45for Colin to
39:48Attempt to tackle this as honorable
39:50So I'm trying to navigate letting go and
39:55Trying to accept Colin at the same time. I'm trying to figure this out
39:59And I really want to help him so he can help my daughter. I mean
40:05This is extremely important to me. Not just the engagement not just moving in but
40:10Who I am entrusting my daughter with this isn't easy
40:15This isn't easy
40:17He's a very protective father and I would like to see Bailin gain a little bit more independence just for herself
40:24But I'm not going into this blind. I know exactly what I'm going into. I
40:29want to be with Bailin for the rest of my life and
40:32Now I have to rethink this whole proposal because I want it to be perfect for her. I just now
40:39need some time to kind of like pivot and
40:42Figure out how I want to like move forward with things
40:46I'm sure you'll think of something. Yeah, I got to get going
40:50I have no choice but to accept Alan's response, but it does feel a little personal
40:57And I don't know if that's something that I can break through or not
41:00I
41:09Want this weekend to be a happy weekend, I want to have fun together I
41:13Think dad's starting to turn fucking purple. I know how much you codepend on Colin
41:19Have you guys had talks about like Collins relocation the idea of Collins relocation and taking bay with him?
41:27concerns me I
41:29Told him I'm not the one proposing to her you are
41:33Today is the day. I had this whole plan of doing it on the beach because that's what Bailin has always wanted
41:40It just doesn't seem feasible to to have it on the beach
41:44Can they shift it that quickly? I?
41:47Don't know what I'm gonna do or how I'm gonna pivot from this
41:51I definitely have some like built-up anxiety. It just seems like it's his timeline and not valence
41:57Is this a Colin issue codependence is great when you also have somebody on your side
42:02Bailin needs to develop a backbone and
42:05Stand up for yourself. I feel like nothing is going my way, and I only have one shot at proposing
42:19It's hard to hold back the emotion
42:22It's a lot of feelings
42:24We have news
42:26This is a big plot twist holy Lord