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00:00:00Hey!
00:00:24Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
00:00:43Am I my own? I see you staring at me
00:00:46I want to take your eye so I can see what you see
00:00:50I see you broke a finger and my eyes look to the ground
00:00:53I know that you don't like me and don't want my camera around
00:00:56Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here
00:00:59I want you to see a fake, I want you to see a real fake
00:01:02I want you to look at someone who's just like you
00:01:04Yeah, I saw you looking at me
00:01:12And now I say right to you, you know I feel no pain at all
00:01:16It's not a game I'm playing, it's not a line I'm saying
00:01:20Cause in the end I'll freak you all
00:01:24Freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak
00:01:28Yeah
00:01:29Yeah
00:01:32I got five fingers for everything and four faces for every face
00:01:41You know I'm gonna freak all over the place
00:01:43Oh yeah, oh yeah
00:01:44Oh yeah
00:01:45Yeah
00:01:46Yeah
00:01:46Yeah
00:01:47I'm gonna freak you all
00:01:49You get the freak trip, man
00:02:08Yeah
00:02:11Yeah, no one knows me.
00:02:14They just show me weakness, pain, and fear.
00:02:19I'm on the air, freaking out without a doubt.
00:02:23I've never seen it all so clear.
00:02:25You can go and separate and validate what you dread.
00:02:29I think you'll know just what to do.
00:02:32You think you've got it right, but it's just your oversight,
00:02:35because I know the face of me and you.
00:02:39I know the face of me and you.
00:02:42I know the face of me and you.
00:02:44Me and you, me and you, me and you, me and you, me and you, man.
00:02:49I am your freak.
00:02:51I am your freak.
00:02:53I am your freak.
00:02:55But you're mine.
00:03:00We repeat, the flying gimp has been destroyed.
00:03:04You may return to your homes.
00:03:07And now, back to the Sky Daily Show.
00:03:11With tonight's special guest, Ricky Coogan.
00:03:18Ricky, after your hideous disfigurement,
00:03:21you are showing incredible courage by agreeing to finally show yourself in public.
00:03:25Thanks.
00:03:27America has watched you grow up in television and in movies.
00:03:32For years, you were everyone's favorite little brother in that hit series, The Baker's Dozen.
00:03:37And, of course, as the star of those hilarious ghost dude movies, you've got the entire country saying,
00:03:48Boo, dude.
00:03:50Boo, dude.
00:03:51But now, after your horrific ordeal, the very mention of your name makes children scream in terror.
00:04:01Ricky Coogan, the world is waiting to hear your story.
00:04:06Well, it's kind of long, but, okay.
00:04:12It all started when I was approached to be spokesman for a multinational corporation called EES.
00:04:18Oh, the Everything Except Shoes people.
00:04:20Right.
00:04:20I was at their headquarters to meet the chairman and the board of directors.
00:04:24They wanted to send me to South America to promote a controversial fertilizer called Zygrat 24.
00:04:29You are the only one who can stand up to these radicals who are trying to keep Zygrat 24 from the struggling farmers whose very future depends on it.
00:04:38Wasn't that stuff banned?
00:04:41Only in the U.S. and Europe.
00:04:45I heard that shit's lethal.
00:04:48All right, you need proof.
00:04:49Fine.
00:04:50Please sit down.
00:04:53I would like you to meet the head of our South American research facility,
00:04:57Senor Juan Valdez.
00:05:00My name is George Ramirez.
00:05:03Whatever.
00:05:05He's been working with Zygrat 24 every day for the last five years.
00:05:09And look at him.
00:05:10He's in fine shape.
00:05:12Aren't you, Juan?
00:05:20Yes.
00:05:22I am fine.
00:05:23I want you to know that me and my team in Santa Flan...
00:05:29Santa Flan?
00:05:31What kind of shitty name for a country is that?
00:05:35It is named for the patron saint of creamy desserts.
00:05:39As I was saying, we have worked very closely with Zygrat 24.
00:05:48I have personally supervised its development.
00:05:51No potential danger was left uninvestigated.
00:05:54The environmentalists are crackpacks.
00:05:57All of them.
00:05:58This is ridiculous, I tell you.
00:06:00Totally ridiculous.
00:06:01Thank you, Valdez.
00:06:04That'll be all.
00:06:05Hey, wait a minute.
00:06:08Ricky, this is important.
00:06:10We are talking about a major threat to the EES image.
00:06:17How does $2 million plus expenses sound?
00:06:21Oh, Dick.
00:06:23$2 million.
00:06:24Sounds great.
00:06:26But...
00:06:27I hear you.
00:06:29Let's make it $5 million.
00:06:31Well, that is if the board agrees.
00:06:34Gentlemen, all those in favor.
00:06:37Good.
00:06:38It's unanimous.
00:06:40Well, Ricky, what do you say?
00:06:43Are you EES's man in Santa Flan?
00:06:46Huh.
00:07:01So the deal was done.
00:07:04I was Ricky Coogan, toxic chemical salesman.
00:07:08Me and my buddy Ernie hopped on the next plane for Santa Flan.
00:07:11Oh, did they show a movie?
00:07:12Return to the Blue Lagoon.
00:07:13Oh, I heard that sucked.
00:07:16Where the hell is Ernie?
00:07:20Ladies, all I wanted was a manicure.
00:07:23Hey, I'm kidding.
00:07:24What is that, gravy?
00:07:29Where'd you get that?
00:07:30I don't know, Coog.
00:07:31It started as a pimple and then I scratched it.
00:07:37Can I get either of you gentlemen a pillow or a blanket?
00:07:40Yes, please.
00:07:40Is that your luggage up there?
00:07:49Yeah.
00:07:50Is that your ugly little troll?
00:07:53Stewie, look!
00:07:55Look!
00:07:56I got a rare steal from your first season on the Baker's Dozen.
00:08:03Could you sign it for me?
00:08:04Please?
00:08:07Baker's Dozen, I like the mom on that joke.
00:08:09I forked her.
00:08:09Rick!
00:08:10Rick!
00:08:10Rick!
00:08:10Rick!
00:08:11Rick!
00:08:12Rick!
00:08:12Rick!
00:08:13Rick!
00:08:14Rick!
00:08:15Rick!
00:08:16Rick!
00:08:17It says here Zygrat 24 is dangerous.
00:08:20Why are you lending your name to it, Rick?
00:08:23You used to be good, and now I just don't know.
00:08:28Don't cry, Stewie.
00:08:44Deep down, I'm still good.
00:08:51Yes!
00:08:53No!
00:08:54Ha ha ha.
00:08:55Whoa!
00:08:56Ah!
00:08:57Gah!
00:08:58No!
00:09:03May I take your bond, sir?
00:09:06Captain Benway here.
00:09:07To the right of the aircraft, you can see a terrific view of the Grand Canyon.
00:09:08And to the left, you can see a panic-stricken little troll.
00:09:09May I take you a bomb, sir?
00:09:11Captain Benway here.
00:09:12To the right of the aircraft,
00:09:13you can see a terrific view of the Grand Canyon.
00:09:16And to the left, you can see a panic-stricken little troll.
00:09:29You gonna eat your peanuts, Ernie?
00:09:30Nah, you could have them.
00:09:31Thanks.
00:09:39Hey, I'm okay.
00:09:49Here we are, Ernie.
00:09:50Santa's spam.
00:09:51World famous for loud music and hot sex.
00:09:53It is?
00:09:54Give me a few hours.
00:09:58Sure glad that wasn't our plane.
00:10:02Left to stay!
00:10:03Take your toxic crap away!
00:10:05D-E-F!
00:10:06Left to stay!
00:10:07Take your toxic crap away!
00:10:08D-E-F!
00:10:09Left to stay!
00:10:10Take your toxic crap away!
00:10:11D-E-F!
00:10:12Left to stay!
00:10:13Take your toxic crap away!
00:10:14D-E-F!
00:10:15D-E-F!
00:10:16D-E-F!
00:10:17You better find the limo right now
00:10:18before these whale kissers chop us up and sell us...
00:10:21Ooh!
00:10:25I got a better idea.
00:10:28If I could just find the right disguise.
00:10:35Take these.
00:10:36Give me back my crutches, you monster!
00:10:40It hurts!
00:10:41Oh, God!
00:10:47Are you okay?
00:10:50Let me help you.
00:10:51Thanks.
00:10:52Don't worry about me.
00:10:53What's one man's pain?
00:10:55Wait against the global injustice of corporate tyrants like E-E-S.
00:10:59Go.
00:11:00The fight must continue.
00:11:02Wow.
00:11:03My name's Julie.
00:11:04Josh.
00:11:05Josh.
00:11:06Josh Tabner.
00:11:07Mother Teresa.
00:11:08Glad to meet you.
00:11:09Give me those, you ape.
00:11:10Ow!
00:11:11Josh.
00:11:12Yeah?
00:11:13A busload of us are headed over to Maracis to protest Zygrat 24 and pelt Ricky Coogan with
00:11:24cow shit.
00:11:25Hmm.
00:11:26Same here.
00:11:27You could ride with us.
00:11:28Us?
00:11:29You're with him?
00:11:30Oh!
00:11:31Ernie?
00:11:32He's okay.
00:11:33You ever heard of an idiot savant?
00:11:35Sure.
00:11:36Oh, that's Ernie.
00:11:37Except for the savant part.
00:11:43Yeah, well, one thing's for sure.
00:11:45That Coogan guy sure is an asshole, huh?
00:11:48Oh, I'll say, what a total piece of shit.
00:11:51I mean, don't you think so, Josh?
00:11:53Well, uh, he's got a few problems.
00:11:56And what a lousy actor.
00:11:58I mean, can you believe all that ghost dude crap?
00:12:00Well, come on.
00:12:01With a script that bad, he deserves an Oscar for coming off as good as he did.
00:12:04Well, he's no Christian Slater.
00:12:06Slater?
00:12:07Uh, no, come on.
00:12:08I can act circles around that one-note hack.
00:12:13And you think Slater could improv like this, huh?
00:12:20Damn it.
00:12:23So, Julie, you like Swedish films?
00:12:38You don't even want to hear the truth about Zeigrad 24, do you, Coogan?
00:12:41I mean, look, I am not saying that this stuff is going to turn anyone into some kind of-
00:12:45Human worm?
00:12:46Exactly!
00:12:47A human worm.
00:12:48I mean, that's just absurd.
00:12:49The point is that this product is a-
00:12:51A dog boy.
00:12:52Yeah.
00:12:53Or a dog boy.
00:12:54That's stupid.
00:12:55The point is this is a very-
00:12:57Are you a fraud man?
00:12:58Okay.
00:12:59Now you're just being silly.
00:13:00Human suffering is just a big joke to you, isn't it, Coogan?
00:13:03What?
00:13:04You are so sick.
00:13:08Cool!
00:13:09A freak show!
00:13:10Let's check it out.
00:13:12Kinda like a family reunion for you, huh?
00:13:15Lighten up, Coogan.
00:13:16Could be a goof.
00:13:17Could be a goof.
00:13:29Freaks is a registered trademark of Elijah C. Skuggs Enterprises.
00:13:31Indian authorized reproduction is strictly prohibited without prior written consent.
00:13:34Yo
00:13:48called
00:13:51Ain't even though
00:13:52like a specific
00:13:56肉
00:13:57Yo
00:14:00welcome to freakland home of nature's most repulsive mistakes don't forget to visit our
00:14:23snack bar and please no spitting isn't this great it is so real real stupid
00:14:37let's go ernie this place is dead yeah where's all the weirdos
00:14:53mutants yes genetic nightmares definitely children of hell twisted masses of living
00:15:07breathing tormented flesh certainly but as for weirdo
00:15:15not a what unless of course you count me
00:15:26you seem like a regular dumb shit old redneck to me
00:15:33i'm julie and you are i am elijah c skugs proud proprietor of skunks fabulous freak land and
00:15:42mutant emporium but you already knew that after all you have ventured miles away from civilization
00:15:49hospitals telephones police
00:15:54how may i help you rob dead we would love to see your freak show you see you have built a monument
00:16:06to the variety and innovation of nature
00:16:10it reminds us to respect the fragile complexity of our global ecosystem
00:16:18and you come to me looking for weirdos
00:16:21hello mr toad is my assistant as for the show i'm afraid the next parade of deformity is until tomorrow evening oh however i do have a private exhibit in my shed
00:16:50you might be interested in i don't usually share it with the general public
00:16:56well we're uh deeply honored but no thanks
00:17:01all right i used to blow up toads with firecrackers pal so watch it
00:17:11the sideshow tradition has been completely misrepresented by the media
00:17:15i mean you don't traffic in human misery
00:17:18you show society a part of itself it just doesn't want to look at
00:17:22what the hell huh we'll uh we'll see some pickled dog brains
00:17:29maybe some pictures of women with you know added equipment
00:17:33why not
00:17:36i just love the family circus
00:17:59are you out of your mind
00:18:02i do admit they they use the same joke over and over again
00:18:07i'm just a sucker for this little moffat shenanigans that's all
00:18:11perhaps i should tell you a little bit more
00:18:15about what i do
00:18:17you see i not only exhibit freaks
00:18:22i make them
00:18:25just like michelangelo
00:18:28saw the angel in the stone
00:18:30i can look at a guy like
00:18:33kevin costner
00:18:35and see a giant peach grub
00:18:38who can fart the blue danu
00:18:40behold the tasty freaks machine
00:18:48thank god he's using sidebar 24
00:18:53hey you're not supposed to have that stuff
00:18:56well then i guess i'm not supposed to have these either
00:18:58who wants to get freaked first
00:19:03lady first
00:19:04if i were you i would
00:19:06let's see now what should we do with these two
00:19:17let's see
00:19:18final buzz noise huh
00:19:20should we make them
00:19:22be formed
00:19:24michael jackson
00:19:26that's like yin and yang
00:19:29you see dc
00:19:32two birds with one stone
00:19:35pretty darn good really
00:19:39letter to you
00:19:43uh
00:19:54uh
00:19:58uh
00:20:02uh
00:20:04uh
00:20:08uh
00:20:10Wait a second.
00:20:15You're really going to rub that stuff on us and mutate our body parts?
00:20:20Correct.
00:20:21Well, then could you give me, like, a really big Rodney?
00:20:24I'm a mad scientist, pal.
00:20:27Not a miracle worker.
00:20:28No.
00:20:29No!
00:20:40Hey! Put that thing away!
00:20:52Feast your eyes!
00:21:02Oh, well.
00:21:04At least I'll never have to go far for a piece of tail.
00:21:06Pig!
00:21:09Toad?
00:21:10Take them to their quarter.
00:21:16Bobby, you bigot, come in!
00:21:19A mere party trick.
00:21:23But you...
00:21:25You're going to be special.
00:21:29Huh?
00:21:30Huh?
00:21:38Yes!
00:21:39Yes!
00:21:40Yes!
00:21:41Yes!
00:21:42Yes!
00:21:43Laughing man, this is Red Swan.
00:22:08Fine, thank you. And you?
00:22:10Listen, I have created the ultimate freak. Sort of.
00:22:15Yes, well, see, that's just it. He's not quite, um, finished.
00:22:20I'm gonna need some more of that, uh, Zagrot 24.
00:22:30Could you, uh, spill that?
00:22:33Ha! Oh!
00:22:35He is a fool!
00:22:39Got it.
00:22:43Yes, uh, well, you take it easy, too, Raffy.
00:22:49Asshole.
00:22:50No.
00:22:55Wakey, wakey. Eggs and bakey.
00:23:00Time to meet and greet the brand new you.
00:23:04Oh, God, this was my good side.
00:23:14Still is, if you ask me.
00:23:16Hell, wait till you see what I've got planned for the other side.
00:23:21Welcome to your spacious accommodations.
00:23:24Great use of this face.
00:23:35Yeah, yeah, I learned it all from Bob Vela.
00:23:38You know, you could expose these rustic beams
00:23:41and put in a skylight over just one weekend, Elijah.
00:23:45Give it a rest, Bob.
00:23:57One of these days, I gotta put a shitter in there.
00:24:00No problem, Elijah.
00:24:01It's all right here in my new book, Bedrooms and Bathrooms.
00:24:04In fact, if you take this one on 30...
00:24:11Honey?
00:24:13Julie?
00:24:15Over here, Coog.
00:24:17Are you all right?
00:24:18Oh, I know that horse.
00:24:20That's the horse that said,
00:24:21Cool! A freak show.
00:24:23Let's check it out.
00:24:24Oh, sure.
00:24:25Blame the woman. Typical.
00:24:28It's so real.
00:24:30Is this real enough for you?
00:24:31I'm friggin' Quasimodo!
00:24:34Lighten up, Coog.
00:24:37We're talking to the original tag team of ugly pukes here.
00:24:41Look at this outfit.
00:24:43Come on.
00:24:44Step into the light.
00:24:45Okay.
00:24:47Here I come.
00:24:56Oh, geez.
00:24:58Well, it's not so revolting.
00:25:01I mean, after all, physical beauty is merely a socially enforced myth that...
00:25:11Oh, shit!
00:25:13Yeah?
00:25:14Well, you're no Mona Lisa's yourself.
00:25:21You're lucky I got a strong stomach.
00:25:23And you are lucky I was gonna bite you!
00:25:26Get with me!
00:25:27You!
00:25:28You!
00:25:29You're a freak!
00:25:30Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:25:32I am Ortiz.
00:25:34The dog boy.
00:25:36Leader of the freaks.
00:25:38Kinda like the top dog.
00:25:41Welcome to hell, Rick.
00:25:44Shake.
00:25:46No, thanks.
00:25:47I don't plan on staying long.
00:25:49Huh?
00:25:51How many of you are there in here, anyway?
00:25:54First, I have a question for you.
00:25:57Ricardo.
00:25:59Who is starred in the film...
00:26:02Exorcist II The Heretic?
00:26:04Huh?
00:26:05Well, perhaps we should ask...
00:26:07The Worm!
00:26:09Tell us, Worm!
00:26:10Who is starred in The Exorcist II The Heretic?
00:26:14Olivia Newton-John.
00:26:16Olivia Newton-John!
00:26:19Rick!
00:26:20Do you agree or disagree?
00:26:21This is nuts!
00:26:23This is crazy!
00:26:24Besides, it was Linda Blair.
00:26:26Very good!
00:26:27It was Linda Blair!
00:26:29Circle gets the square!
00:26:32All right, all right!
00:26:33That's cool, that's cool.
00:26:34Okay!
00:26:35Truly Ernie!
00:26:37Who's going to be...
00:26:38Nosey the Nose Man?
00:26:42What?
00:26:43Cowboy!
00:26:45Howdy!
00:26:46The Bearded Lady!
00:26:49How you doing?
00:26:50Sockhead!
00:26:51Time!
00:26:53The Eternal Flame!
00:26:55Iron the hole!
00:26:57Nosey the Pinhead?
00:27:01The Hideous Frogman!
00:27:05And, of course, in the center square!
00:27:07Mr. Paul Linn!
00:27:13Well, who will it be?
00:27:14Call me Old Fashioned, but I'll go with Paul Linn.
00:27:17Don't be an idiot!
00:27:18He's funny!
00:27:19You see, Rick?
00:27:20Just because we are freaks does not mean we do not know how to have some fun, huh?
00:27:32Get away from me!
00:27:33Get away!
00:27:35I'm not like you!
00:27:36You hear me?
00:27:37I am Ricky Cogan!
00:27:38I am not afraid!
00:27:39I am not afraid!
00:27:40I am not afraid!
00:27:48I wanna jump!
00:27:50Freak!
00:27:51Freak!
00:27:52Freak!
00:27:54No!
00:27:56Please!
00:27:58No!
00:27:59Ah!
00:28:00Poor kid!
00:28:05Phew!
00:28:07This sucks.
00:28:10Hmp, wonder if they're still casting Gremlins 3.
00:28:13Call my agent in the morning.
00:28:15look rick all the freaks have been through this anguish at first i was blinded by my anger i
00:28:22admit that i wanted to wring your neck for getting us into this but i got over it
00:28:28what a tease taught me to channel my anger for the common good you wanted to see the freak show
00:28:34i thought i told you to shut up honey sorry coop second there i was a total man hater
00:28:47here take it so you're a hideous mutant freak now i don't need this i'm not like those other
00:29:00god forsaken animals you're mistaken rick you're exactly like us we were all normal healthy folk
00:29:08before we made the fateful mistake of coming to this hellhole at an off hour when i first came here
00:29:14i was a professor of lacrophilogy the study of worms of course i was on the trail of the fat pudgy worm
00:29:22mr skunk said he had just such a worm in his shed how could i have possibly surmised that the specimen
00:29:27and myself should ultimately prove to be one and the same
00:29:30at first the transformation was fabulous i truly understood the worm's ethos like never before
00:29:39but those early days of fascination are over now in retrospect i think the whole thing is a
00:29:46fucking headache i'd sell my soul just to be able to wipe my own arms
00:29:51i first came here as a tourist looking for some fun nice place
00:30:01then elijah turned me into a sock
00:30:07i'm sorry i'm i'm not much for stories
00:30:13when i first arrived here i was nothing like i am now
00:30:20i was confused walking contradiction so full of questions
00:30:29you know you'd be better off without a dick
00:30:32hey keep the beard
00:30:34hallelujah
00:30:40but now i know who i am i can say to the world
00:30:44hey this is me i am woman and i like me
00:30:49man this is rough
00:31:11you're one of us now whether you admit it or not it's irrefutable
00:31:18you're one of us now whether you admit it or not it's irrefutable
00:31:22you're one of us now
00:31:33you're one of us now
00:31:34you're one of us now
00:31:35you're one of us now
00:31:48well those ees guys should rescue me any minute
00:31:52then it's back to sunny old l.a and straight to the plastic surgeon
00:31:56i wonder how many of my anatomically correct girlfriends will be waiting for me
00:32:01i'll be waiting for you rick
00:32:03thanks stewie
00:32:04ah it's the troll
00:32:08wait rick go home what are you doing here
00:32:11seeing phantom trolls rick
00:32:14nope sounds to me like you've developed a telepathic bond
00:32:19don't mean you're nuts or nothing heck old nosy why he can smell the future
00:32:26lots of us freaks got esp and sockhead he's got espn
00:32:30watch out he's gonna try the skull cracker
00:32:34shucks rick
00:32:37you're lucky telepathy like yours only occurs between real soul mates
00:32:42a bond like that should be cherished
00:32:44wow i'm ricky coogan's soul mate
00:32:47in your dreams
00:32:48no get lost troll
00:32:50well i tell the kid that's cool i love you rick
00:32:55shucks rick
00:32:56it don't make sense to spurn your soul mate
00:32:59i reckon that troll could help you
00:33:01if you just let him into your heart
00:33:10once america's team for having a ricky
00:33:12they'll probably send the whole fpi down to save him
00:33:16i'll probably win a pulitzer prize
00:33:19the scoop and i'll dedicate it to rick
00:33:39of course i'll print it america needs to know
00:33:42burke give mr gluck his fee and show him the way out
00:33:45that's okay i know the way out
00:33:49that's okay
00:33:51freaky dinky
00:33:52freaky coogan's a mutant in south america
00:33:54my stewardess gluck
00:33:56that's me
00:33:58no you've got it all wrong i don't know anything about that
00:34:03you gotta believe me
00:34:05ladies and gentlemen
00:34:12get ready for the glamour
00:34:15get ready for the glitz
00:34:17get ready to pelt the physically challenged
00:34:20with rotten vegetables
00:34:22cause it's go time
00:34:24snowman
00:34:35and i bet you worry about a
00:34:38107
00:34:41What's giving those damn E.E.S. guys?
00:35:01Something's troubling you, my boy.
00:35:03What is it?
00:35:04Take a wild guess.
00:35:06Oh, I think I know what you're going through.
00:35:09You see, I, too, had an eating disorder.
00:35:17Quiet, please.
00:35:22Ladies and gentlemen,
00:35:25tonight you are about to witness a cavalcade of atrocities so horrific
00:35:30that I advise the more sensitive members of our audience
00:35:34to leave the premises at this time.
00:35:39Tonight, I am proud to announce several new and original monstrosities,
00:35:49including our star attraction, The Beast Boy.
00:35:55But first, a perennial favorite here at Freakland,
00:35:58sit back and snuggle up
00:36:01to the musical stylings of
00:36:03Rosie the Pinhead!
00:36:05Sing out, dear.
00:36:23From the diaphragm.
00:36:29Hey, Julie, how many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
00:36:33How many?
00:36:34Two.
00:36:35One to screw it in, and one to ride my Rodney.
00:36:38Oh.
00:36:39Oh.
00:36:41Oh.
00:36:43Oh.
00:36:44Oh.
00:36:45Oh.
00:36:45Oh.
00:36:47Oh.
00:36:48If your coloring is in the autumn range like Maria,
00:36:54I would suggest you try to earth tone eye makeup.
00:36:57Now, as you can see, I've done a lovely French braid on Maria,
00:37:00but I encourage everyone to experiment and use your imagination.
00:37:04The main thing is, just have fun with it.
00:37:06Ha!
00:37:07Ha!
00:37:07Yeah!
00:37:07Yeah!
00:37:08Oh!
00:37:08Oh!
00:37:09Oh!
00:37:09Oh!
00:37:10Yeah!
00:37:10Feels good!
00:37:11Woo!
00:37:12Woo!
00:37:13Yeah!
00:37:13Check this out, huh?
00:37:15Ruff!
00:37:15Ah!
00:37:16Ow!
00:37:16Oh!
00:37:17Oh!
00:37:17D!
00:37:18A!
00:37:18What?
00:37:19A!
00:37:20That's yo!
00:37:21You piece of!
00:37:22You!
00:37:23Oh!
00:37:23Oh!
00:37:24Oh!
00:37:24Oh!
00:37:25Oh!
00:37:25Oh!
00:37:26Oh!
00:37:26Oh!
00:37:27Oh!
00:37:27Oh!
00:37:28Oh!
00:37:28Oh!
00:37:29Oh!
00:37:29Oh!
00:37:30Oh!
00:37:30Oh!
00:37:31Oh!
00:37:31Oh!
00:37:32Oh!
00:37:33Oh!
00:37:33Oh!
00:37:34Oh!
00:37:34Ow!
00:37:35Bro..
00:37:36Roll out my hand!
00:37:38With dinner!
00:37:38It makes a tasty meal!
00:37:39We do the Weaner's attention, the poke.
00:37:41Ohhh!
00:37:42Because we love to eat fried meal!
00:37:43Hey!
00:37:44Hey!
00:37:45Hey!
00:37:46AE managed to eat fried wield!
00:37:47Hey!
00:37:48Thank you!
00:37:49Thank you!
00:37:50You've been a great crowd!
00:37:53Ah!
00:37:54Hey!
00:37:55He's got a hand under there!
00:37:56It's a hoax!
00:37:58Form!
00:37:59Puppeteering is an admirable skill in its own right.
00:38:10Now, give him his doom.
00:38:12He's going! He's going! He'll be out here.
00:38:16And when I won first prize, they never called me Puddinghead again.
00:38:21So?
00:38:22Don't you see? You must turn your hardship into inspiration.
00:38:26You're an actor, Rick. Your body is your instrument.
00:38:29And with it, you must play your tragic symphony for all the world.
00:38:33They're going nuts for you, Beast Boy. You better get out here now.
00:38:37I'll be right there.
00:38:39Thank you, Worm. I don't know how to repay you for this.
00:38:42You could wipe my ass.
00:38:45What a comedian.
00:38:49Nosy, have I ever told you what a gifted artist you are?
00:38:54Huh?
00:38:59Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this son of York.
00:39:15I didn't write this. What is this crap?
00:39:17That I'm not shaped for sportive tricks, nor made to court an amorous looking-glass.
00:39:24Aye.
00:39:26If you're having trouble understanding Mr. Coogan's brilliant reading of this soliloquy from Richard III,
00:39:31please take advantage of the handy subtitles for the culturally illiterate.
00:39:36Wild figure, deformed, sent before my time into this breathing world, scarce half-made up.
00:39:50Why, I, in this weak, piping time of peace,
00:39:56have no delight to pass away the time.
00:40:19Beautiful!
00:40:21Thank you. Thank you.
00:40:23You seem to like it.
00:40:28Ah!
00:40:29One, two, three!
00:40:37Yes!
00:40:38Yes!
00:40:41Thank God for EES!
00:40:45Oh, yeah, yeah, Rick.
00:40:46Look, look, I, I, I really love this new look you got going for yourself.
00:40:51It's, uh, fresh and hip.
00:40:53The kids will love it.
00:40:54But back at EES, I don't think the big boys upstairs are gonna get it.
00:40:58What are you saying?
00:41:00Well, Rick, what I'm trying to say is that, uh, well, uh, you're ugly enough to burn the nose hairs off a dead nun.
00:41:09Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh
00:41:39Now you're just being childish.
00:41:45Run for your life!
00:41:52What's the matter?
00:41:53Afraid of a little rock stuck?
00:41:55Welcome to show business, morons!
00:41:59We're all going to hell!
00:42:09No!
00:42:11No!
00:42:17Now that's entertainment.
00:42:29Gotta get that in luck.
00:42:33That's against the law.
00:42:39Psst!
00:42:43Hey, you! Milkman!
00:42:45Me?
00:42:46Yeah, you.
00:42:47I got something to show you.
00:42:51Come around to this little trap door.
00:42:57What is it?
00:42:58I just laid a turret that's the spittin' image of Kim Basinger.
00:43:01Boy, if I had a dime for every time I heard that.
00:43:04She's naked, too.
00:43:05Really?
00:43:09This I gotta see.
00:43:18Ah, that's just a regular turd.
00:43:20Looks kinda like Winona Ryder, but...
00:43:22Oof!
00:43:39Shit!
00:43:42Shit!
00:43:58Your eyes!
00:44:03Your what?
00:44:04The clothes!
00:44:08The clothes!
00:44:11What the hell?!
00:44:16Stop, in the name of A.E.M.C. Lashima!
00:44:19Don't move Babylon a milkman!
00:44:23Good work, I and I.
00:44:25Rastafari!
00:44:27Now, send the beast boy to my, uh...
00:44:32den.
00:44:33Ah!
00:44:35Going to the den, boy.
00:44:37Them go in, them never come out.
00:44:38Yeah, I'm on into the den with you.
00:44:40Died soda?
00:44:54No, thanks.
00:44:56Fiddle-faddle?
00:44:58All right.
00:44:59Hmm.
00:45:06Mm-hmm.
00:45:10So, aren't you gonna kill me or something?
00:45:14Sure, it'd be fun, but the beast boy's a hit.
00:45:18Look, Elijah, I've been in show business all my life.
00:45:21The public does not want to see disgusting, depraved, violent filth.
00:45:26Oh?
00:45:28And I suppose Jake and the Fat Man was just a fluke.
00:45:34Hello?
00:45:37Listen, now, I'm all set to roll here.
00:45:42You've got it.
00:45:46Ciao to you, too.
00:45:48You jolly son of a bitch.
00:45:53We'll see who has the last laugh, you jerk-off.
00:45:57All right, Cooper, listen up.
00:46:00You're gonna be a hideous killing machine.
00:46:04Tomorrow night, I'm gonna finish the job on stage.
00:46:07And then you're gonna slaughter all the old freaks.
00:46:10And from their ashes, you'll rise.
00:46:13Like the mighty phoenix.
00:46:15Only a lot uglier.
00:46:16And then the whole world will...
00:46:19Hey!
00:46:21I told you, enough!
00:46:23So Elijah was going to send you to Phoenix?
00:46:26No, he was talking about a huge bird.
00:46:29The mythical creature?
00:46:31It's just a metaphor.
00:46:33Oh.
00:46:35The point is, Elijah wanted to turn me into a bloodthirsty monster
00:46:37and have me kill on my fellow freaks.
00:46:38But what he didn't know is that I left his den with an important clue.
00:46:42Shhh.
00:46:47Oh.
00:46:49Here.
00:46:51Shhh.
00:46:52Shhh.
00:46:54You're correct!
00:46:56Shhh.
00:46:58Shhh.
00:47:00Look! Another milkman!
00:47:03Hey, Rick.
00:47:05Couldn't you come up with your own escape plan?
00:47:07You gotta be kidding me.
00:47:09A dozen milkmen?
00:47:10Yeah.
00:47:11Isn't that a little unusual?
00:47:12Twelve milkmen is theoretically possible.
00:47:15Yeah. Yeah.
00:47:16Thirteen is silly.
00:47:18Silly.
00:47:19Looks like one milkman too many, Coogan.
00:47:23Freaks!
00:47:25Flying men! Go ahead!
00:47:27Hope you like reggae, you flea-bidden bastard.
00:47:30Be very quiet!
00:47:35Shit.
00:47:37Look, you'll all be killed.
00:47:40You don't know about Elijah's giant roster eyeballs with machine guns.
00:47:43Poor boy's gone off the deep end.
00:47:45It's suicide, and I can't let you do it.
00:47:48And I cannot let you stop us.
00:47:50Come on, Ortiz.
00:47:54Come on, Ortiz.
00:47:56Come on, Ortiz.
00:47:57Be careful, he's a rabbit.
00:47:58He's a rabbit dog.
00:48:00All right!
00:48:01Stick him to him.
00:48:02Stick him to him.
00:48:03Really, Swift!
00:48:04You're gonna poke an eye out!
00:48:09Kill him!
00:48:10Sorry.
00:48:13That's a lot of milkmen on the same route.
00:48:16No wonder they fight.
00:48:18Come on!
00:48:19Yeah!
00:48:29Squirrel!
00:48:39Holy shit!
00:48:41You giant roster eyeballs, just like Vic said!
00:48:49Oh, gosh!
00:48:51If it wasn't for Rick, we'd all be dead.
00:48:54Hey!
00:48:55Oh, thanks.
00:48:56I think he's good.
00:48:57Yeah!
00:48:58Watch your fly.
00:48:59Come on, you heard the beast boy.
00:49:01Back to the freak house.
00:49:02Yeah!
00:49:05Um, now!
00:49:07All I want was a hug.
00:49:10Maybe I was wrong about you, Coogan.
00:49:12Not again.
00:49:17Not again.
00:49:20Ah, well.
00:49:21At least we'll get to try a new position.
00:49:23He, he, he, he!
00:49:25See that strong enough for a man!
00:49:26But it's made for a woman!
00:49:27Give me!
00:49:29Hey!
00:49:31Rick!
00:49:32What's up?
00:49:33Read this.
00:49:34I grabbed it from Skuggs' den.
00:49:36Buy more Fiddle Faddle.
00:49:38Tape Donahue.
00:49:39Renew subscription to Beaver World.
00:49:42Beaver World?
00:49:43I see that.
00:49:45After that.
00:49:48Prepare demonstration for Laughing Man.
00:49:50Receive 5,000 barrels of Zygrot 24.
00:49:54Eliza's up to something big.
00:49:56We have to stop him.
00:49:58We're done for!
00:49:59We're done for!
00:50:00I don't wanna die!
00:50:01It's the end of the world!
00:50:02The apocalypse!
00:50:05I haven't said anything yet.
00:50:07Sorry.
00:50:08Um, I'm not much for timing.
00:50:11Look.
00:50:13Tomorrow night, at the show,
00:50:15I'll be turned into an evil super freak
00:50:18and forced to kill you all.
00:50:20But we might have a chance if we act fast.
00:50:23And I'm prepared to be your new leader.
00:50:28I say we kill him!
00:50:30And...
00:50:32I've got a plan.
00:50:34I still say we kill him!
00:50:36If we can just get into Elijah's lab,
00:50:38maybe we can...
00:50:39Of course!
00:50:40Design an ointment to turn you into a good super freak
00:50:43and program it to make you destroy Elijah instead of us!
00:50:47Brilliant!
00:50:49Well, actually, I was...
00:50:50How do we get to the lab?
00:50:52Uh...
00:50:53Right.
00:50:54The worm can be a good turtle.
00:50:55My God, it's so crazy, it just might work.
00:50:58But you need Zygrat 24 to make the freak sludge
00:51:00and Elijah told us himself he's run out of it.
00:51:02Oh, oh, yeah.
00:51:04Well, what if we just...
00:51:05Yes, exactly!
00:51:07If they've been using Zygrat 24 as a fertilizer around you,
00:51:09then the entire ecosystem must be soaked with it.
00:51:11All we need is a way to extract it from the vegetation,
00:51:14ideally into liquid form.
00:51:15Rick.
00:51:16Golly!
00:51:17So that's why my milk comes out that weird blue color.
00:51:20I thought the grass tasted funny.
00:51:23Wow, Rick.
00:51:25You're a genius.
00:51:27Rick!
00:51:28Rick!
00:51:29Oh, yeah!
00:51:31That's cool, Rick.
00:51:32Tell me, how do you think of such a plan?
00:51:35Well, uh, actually,
00:51:37I was gonna suggest we, uh, send away for sea monkeys,
00:51:40train them to fire guns and make a break for it.
00:51:43But if you, uh,
00:51:45if you want to go with this good super freak thing,
00:51:47I...
00:51:48I guess that's okay.
00:51:49FREEZE!
00:51:50That's what they call a C-4-8-5-inch head runaway.
00:51:57FREEZE!
00:51:58That's all I call
00:52:00Just cause a madman had fun
00:52:03We're not DNA
00:52:06One chance to escape
00:52:07We'll break from this cage of mild twisted flesh
00:52:13Soon we'll make it back home
00:52:15We'll do entertainment tonight
00:52:18And have lunch with John T.
00:52:22All right!
00:52:24Cut off that goddamn abuser!
00:52:26They talk their cookies better with their pants
00:52:30Sorry!
00:52:33What a jerk!
00:52:37I hate it when you do that!
00:52:38I hate it when you do that!
00:52:39I hate it when you do that!
00:53:00Hey, look at this!
00:53:01What?
00:53:02Good Lord!
00:53:03It's the lost city of naught!
00:53:04Wow!
00:53:06It's Old Faithful!
00:53:07Oooh!
00:53:09It's my Aunt Gertie and Uncle Sid!
00:53:10Oh!
00:53:11It's my bar mitzvah!
00:53:12It's my bar mitzvah!
00:53:13Come on, Ernie, let's go!
00:53:14Wait, wait!
00:53:15You gotta see the one where rabbi cats laughed so hard noodle pudding came out his nose!
00:53:17It was...
00:53:18Ah!
00:53:19Ah!
00:53:20Ah!
00:53:21Nice digging, worm!
00:53:22Back off, okay?
00:53:23I have got a real short fuse today!
00:53:24I have got a real short fuse today!
00:53:25Oh!
00:53:26It's my bar mitzvah!
00:53:27Come on, Ernie, let's go!
00:53:28Wait, wait!
00:53:29You gotta see the one where rabbi cats laughed so hard noodle pudding came out his nose!
00:53:34It was...
00:53:35Ah!
00:53:36Ah!
00:53:43Nice digging, worm!
00:53:48Back off, okay?
00:53:50I have got a real short fuse today!
00:53:52I am cranky, I am bloated, and I have a wicked case of traps!
00:53:55Don't ask why!
00:53:57PMS?
00:53:59Caught ya, freak!
00:54:01Ah, fool you!
00:54:02Didn't know I did impressions, did ya?
00:54:04Ah, ha, ha, ha!
00:54:06Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:54:07Hey guys!
00:54:08Mission accomplished!
00:54:09They've got the Zeichryte 24 and they've broken through into the lair!
00:54:12Magnifique!
00:54:13Saviare comme sur des roulettes!
00:54:16No!
00:54:17Can't you see?
00:54:18We're digging our own grave!
00:54:19It's nuts!
00:54:20That's what it is?
00:54:21Nuts!
00:54:22Well maybe you've all got a deathless play, you can count me out!
00:54:25I'm getting the hell outta here!
00:54:26Ah!
00:54:27Ah!
00:54:28Ah!
00:54:29Ah!
00:54:30Ah!
00:54:31Ah!
00:54:32Ah!
00:54:33Ah!
00:54:34Ah!
00:54:35Ah!
00:54:36Ah!
00:54:37Uh-oh!
00:54:38Nobody get hurt.
00:54:43Out of my way!
00:54:44Ah!
00:54:45Ah!
00:54:46Ah!
00:54:47Ah!
00:54:48Ah!
00:54:49Ah!
00:54:50Ah!
00:54:51Ah!
00:54:52Ah!
00:54:53Ah!
00:54:54Ah!
00:54:55Ah!
00:54:56Ah!
00:54:57Ah!
00:54:58Ah!
00:54:59Ah!
00:55:00Ah!
00:55:01Ah!
00:55:02That sock full of holes, man!
00:55:03I just want to say what is a kid oh forget it I'm not much for dying
00:55:33I've hacked into Elijah's super free program my god it's complex okay guys we
00:55:49got a job to do let's do it and keep quiet okay
00:56:03oops now look from now on no more screw-ups okay
00:56:15styrofoam cup
00:56:21here he comes he's working somebody's coming
00:56:35it's flogged up this is your fault I will wring your wormy neck preposterous I have no neck
00:56:45I've got to work imbecile
00:56:56damn but it's popcorn
00:56:58you go ahead I'll catch up
00:57:10go yeah go I'll stay here with Rick
00:57:14come on
00:57:21come on
00:57:30come on
00:57:34come on
00:57:39come on
00:57:43bad for the environment
00:57:54okay everybody listen up now we cracked the code and made the ointment we need to bring
00:58:01scugs down for good
00:58:14scugs down for good
00:58:16for good
00:58:17uh I left it in the lab
00:58:23wait wait wait wait I found some macaroons and there's plenty for all of us
00:58:27All of us!
00:58:31I hate my goons.
00:58:58E.E.S. is in bed with Elijah C. Scott.
00:59:08Damn!
00:59:10It's nice to see you in the flesh, laughing man.
00:59:15I think we can dispense with the code names Elijah. We're all friends here.
00:59:20And to prove it, we brought you a little present.
00:59:27Rick, is that you?
00:59:29Who's the troll?
00:59:30He was asking questions about Coogan causing trouble. We figured he was one of yours.
00:59:34Well, I make freaks, all right, but, uh, come on, fellas. This thing is pathetic.
00:59:39Well, you're no Julio Iglesias yourself, mister.
00:59:44Rick!
00:59:48Oh, no, not now, Stewie.
00:59:51Hey, where are you?
00:59:53I'm in the lab! I'm in the lab! I'm in the lab!
00:59:58He's not only ugly, he's crazy, too.
01:00:01Toad, uh...
01:00:03Come here.
01:00:04Gentlemen, I'm not gonna bullshit you.
01:00:20I know my setup here at Freakland looks like small potatoes.
01:00:25But thanks to your Zygret 24 and my genius, tonight I'm gonna turn Ricky Coogan into a freak so hideous, it'll be enough to make your stomach turn inside out.
01:00:36It'll boil your brain in its own juices, and it'll make a cold sore that you thought it healed up starts buggin' you again.
01:00:42It's the dawning of a new age. A new beginning!
01:00:49Behold!
01:00:52Supra Mega Freak World!
01:00:59It's really something, huh?
01:01:04Very impressive.
01:01:06We'll kick Disney's dead ass!
01:01:10Stewie! Stewie! Can you hear me?
01:01:14I want you to try and escape. Bring me the can on the floor near the blast burners.
01:01:19I like your spirits, Skuggs.
01:01:21But Disney, come on.
01:01:23I like Bambi.
01:01:25Bambi sucks.
01:01:26What about the part where the mother got shot?
01:01:28Yeah, yeah, I like that part.
01:01:30I liked it, too.
01:01:31Okay.
01:01:36We here at EES have plans for your jean machine that include everything.
01:01:41Hmm?
01:01:42Well, everything except shoes, of course.
01:01:47Well, I'd love to see your plans.
01:01:50Well, I'd love to show them to you.
01:01:53Bill, would you do the honors?
01:02:01What does today's businessman want?
01:02:11Well, how about a receptionist with six arms, three mouths, and a knockout figure?
01:02:19That would sure speed things up, wouldn't it?
01:02:22Or down at the factory.
01:02:23How do we fight the rising problem of sagging productivity from lazy workers?
01:02:29How about a worker with 12 busy hands, no mouth to talk back, no genitalia or gastrointestinal system to distract him from his work?
01:02:38Sure, it's what we all dream about, isn't it?
01:02:40Well, with this Scugs-based Zygroth technology, these things are not only possible, they are only the beginning.
01:02:49We're poised on the edge of a new frontier limited only by our imaginations.
01:02:54Of course, what happened to our expensive spokesman, Ricky Coogan, was an unfortunate coincidence.
01:03:02On the other hand, profits from these new markets could total in the billions.
01:03:08Ricky who?
01:03:13Hey, now hold on.
01:03:16Secretaries, worker drones, where's the fun, huh?
01:03:20Where's the spark?
01:03:23Where's the unspeakable evil?
01:03:26I was just getting to that.
01:03:28We are gonna impact every field.
01:03:30Cosmetics, military, novelty, house pets, and why should we stop with consumer products?
01:03:35Hell, we can design a whole new consumer.
01:03:38A few well-placed drops in the water supply and bingo!
01:03:41It's a whole new master race!
01:03:44And we own the copyright!
01:03:46This guy's good.
01:03:47We lured him away from Pepsi.
01:03:50Right here!
01:03:52Right now!
01:03:53We are building a better tomorrow for those who uphold the vision of EES!
01:03:59Bill, if I could just add one thing.
01:04:02Those who dare oppose us will stand knee-deep in the blood of their children.
01:04:07And now the moment you've all been waiting for, ladies and gentlemen, the Beast Boy!
01:04:24Where?
01:04:25Over here!
01:04:26Where?
01:04:27With this remarkable ointment of my own design, I am going to transform this ha-finished ghoul into the ultimate stomach-turning super-freak dedicated to evil.
01:04:39Here I am, Rick!
01:04:40Here I am, Rick!
01:04:41Goddammit, kid!
01:04:42Would you sit down?
01:04:43Oh, no!
01:04:44Oh, no!
01:04:45Oh, shit!
01:04:46Move down!
01:04:47What the hell?
01:04:48Oh!
01:04:49You got a problem, mister?
01:04:50Oh, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
01:04:55Oh, ha-ha-ha-ha!
01:04:56Yeah!
01:04:57Oh, no!
01:05:03Ah, shit. Move down.
01:05:06What the hell?
01:05:10You got a problem, mister?
01:05:20Yuck!
01:05:23Your ass is mine, Skugs!
01:05:26This kid looks pissed.
01:05:30I and I! Kill him!
01:05:42Damn my eyes!
01:05:44Toad!
01:05:48Ooh, I'm shaking!
01:05:56Oh, shit.
01:05:58Shit.
01:06:04I'm in the zoo!
01:06:10It looks like it's time to bring out the big gun.
01:06:12Sayonara, kiddo!
01:06:17Oh, no!
01:06:23Yeah!
01:06:27Hey!
01:06:33I'm gonna waste a 12 bucks.
01:06:35Let's get the machine and go.
01:06:37Come on!
01:06:38Right now!
01:06:40Wait, Rick, could you sign this first?
01:06:42Time to die, troll.
01:06:48Let's go, dickhead!
01:06:50Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!
01:06:54Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight!
01:07:04Give him the skull cracker, you big old!
01:07:06No way!
01:07:07The skull cracker's an illegal move!
01:07:08That's an illegal move!
01:07:09No!
01:07:09No!
01:07:11No, no, no, no, no, no!
01:07:14No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
01:07:15I'm getting my apartment for money!
01:07:17Let's get this over with!
01:07:18Hey, dick!
01:07:24What the hell are you doing?
01:07:27This machine is now the sole property of the Everything Except Shoes Corporation.
01:07:31What?!
01:07:32What?
01:07:33Eat shit, Yokel.
01:07:39I knew I couldn't trust you corporate greaseballs!
01:07:48Hold that thing!
01:07:51Eat this dick!
01:07:58Heads for the hills before he gets all of us!
01:08:03Ah!
01:08:05Boy, I haven't seen a stampede like this since the opening night of Ishtar!
01:08:19Now, I rip freaks to pieces!
01:08:22Kill Nosy!
01:08:23You always hated Nosy!
01:08:24No!
01:08:25No!
01:08:31Please!
01:08:32No!
01:08:33No!
01:08:34No!
01:08:36Yes!
01:08:43Now, that's ready!
01:08:45Big shoe!
01:08:46Would you kill him, please?
01:08:58Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!
01:09:01Man, just as I...
01:09:02Sorry to interrupt you, Rick, but you've been talking for almost 90 minutes,
01:09:05and we really have got to go to a commercial.
01:09:08Oh, sorry.
01:09:10You like cheese. You like being a man.
01:09:13That's why you like machismo.
01:09:18Real cheese for real men.
01:09:20Now in a handy aluminum dispenser.
01:09:24And now, back to the exciting conclusion of Ricky Coogan's incredible story.
01:09:30Well, let's see.
01:09:31It seemed like nothing could stop me from shoving a spear through Stewie's skull,
01:09:35when all of a sudden, I heard a voice.
01:09:39I reckon that troll could help you.
01:09:41You just let him into your heart.
01:09:43You're hard.
01:09:46You're hard.
01:09:47You're hard.
01:09:49You're hard.
01:09:50You're hard.
01:09:56I love you.
01:10:01You did it, Rick.
01:10:06Attaboy, Chris.
01:10:10Dawson.
01:10:11Sentimental cuttrap.
01:10:20Beast Boy, I gave you an order, and you better obey it, dammit.
01:10:24It's old, Skugs.
01:10:26You were nothing before I found you.
01:10:28I made you.
01:10:31And I can break you.
01:10:32You think I made you strong?
01:10:34Ha!
01:10:35I've got my DNA crank so high, you won't know what hit you.
01:10:39I'm a wrecking machine.
01:10:41Imagine.
01:10:41Ha!
01:10:43Ha!
01:10:46Ha!
01:10:48Ha!
01:10:50Ha!
01:10:52Ha!
01:10:52Ha!
01:10:55Ha!
01:10:59Ow!
01:11:00Oh!
01:11:01Oh!
01:11:03Ahem!
01:11:03I think you crossed my spinal cord.
01:11:08I can't feel anything in my fingers.
01:11:10Maybe you'll feel this.
01:11:12Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
01:11:14If you kill me, you'll never find the antidote.
01:11:18What antidote?
01:11:21A time-release serum.
01:11:23I baked it into a delicious batch of macaroons.
01:11:29Macaroons.
01:11:30Nice.
01:11:31Nice.
01:11:33If you ask me, you skimped on the coconut.
01:11:35Uh-huh.
01:12:00Freeze! FBI!
01:12:02Looks like they took care of Skuggs, chief.
01:12:07Nice work, Ricky.
01:12:09You'll get a medal from the vice president for this.
01:12:12Right. But how did you?
01:12:13We've been following Skuggs for years.
01:12:16Then when we saw Mr. Gluck's article, we knew it was time to move.
01:12:21So what took you so long?
01:12:22Well, first there was that Satan's child thing on page three.
01:12:26Then, there was the case of the house that dripped blood.
01:12:31Ew.
01:12:35Holy shit!
01:12:40What the hell are you looking at?
01:12:45Dead meat.
01:12:46And that's my story.
01:12:53Ooh.
01:12:53Ooh, it's so exciting.
01:12:56We fixed Kugan's light!
01:12:58Oh, it's about time.
01:13:00Turn it on.
01:13:02That's better.
01:13:03I'll say.
01:13:05How about it, folks?
01:13:06Let's hear it for Ricky Kugan and his freaky friends.
01:13:09The Bearded Lady!
01:13:13How you doing?
01:13:15Rosie!
01:13:16The Eternal Clay!
01:13:18Lights out, baby!
01:13:20Cowboy!
01:13:22Frogman!
01:13:23Mosey!
01:13:28And the worm.
01:13:30Ridiculous.
01:13:32Just because a man doesn't like macaroons.
01:13:42Gotcha!
01:13:43Damn, it's about time.
01:13:44For cheese!
01:13:45Hey!
01:13:46Armando!
01:13:47That's just great.
01:13:54What a story.
01:13:55And what an ending.
01:13:56Elijah transformed by the goop, and he actually looked like...
01:14:00Exactly like you, Skye, I swear.
01:14:02Same face, same outfit.
01:14:04Except he had these really big, hideous feet.
01:14:10I'm gonna drink your blood.
01:14:14Oh, Rick, it's finally over.
01:14:23Yes.
01:14:24Yes, it is.
01:14:25Rick!
01:14:26Hey!
01:14:27Rick!
01:14:28Hey!
01:14:29Rick!
01:14:30Steady!
01:14:31Hey!
01:14:32Rick!
01:14:33Oh, like that wasn't totally predictable.
01:14:37Oh, like that wasn't totally predictable.
01:14:44Well, now it's really over.
01:14:47Thank God.
01:14:48You know, this whole thing has taught me something.
01:14:52That when man starts impinging on the subtle perfection of the Earth's natural order,
01:14:58the only thing he'll create is havoc.
01:15:01Right, Coog.
01:15:03I learned something, too.
01:15:05That men and women truly are equals.
01:15:08That the human spirit transcends gender and physical appearance.
01:15:12And thus, it is immune to the petty degradations men may devise.
01:15:17So true.
01:15:18Yeah, I believe it was...
01:15:19Oh, shut up!
01:15:20Oh!
01:15:21Oh!
01:15:23Oh!
01:15:24Oh!
01:15:25Oh!
01:15:26Good night, everybody!
01:15:28Good night!
01:15:30Good night!
01:15:31Good night!
01:15:34Oh!
01:15:35Hideous mutant freaks
01:15:49Hideous mutant freaks
01:15:55You never wanna, but you're gonna be the freak of the way
01:15:57You never wanna, but you're gonna be the freak of the way
01:16:05You never wanna, but you're gonna be the freak of the way
01:16:09Hideous mutant freaks
01:16:16One day you're cute, a young American movie star
01:16:23She's how you are, freaky good, you sure are going far
01:16:28It was not in your plan, evidence and a plan
01:16:33Freak, hideous mutant freak
01:16:38He was turned into a freak
01:16:40Freak, get ready for the glamour to flinch
01:16:46Get ready, get ready for the glamour to flinch
01:16:48It's your time, it's your time
01:16:51Get ready for the glamour to flinch
01:16:55Get ready, get ready for the glamour to flinch
01:16:58That's all you're any but a
01:17:00Mo hideous mutant
01:17:02Hope you want
01:17:03He never wanted to be turned into the freak of the way
01:17:06He never wanted to be turned into the freak of the sudden
01:17:08He never wanted to be turned into the freak of the way
01:17:11History of Spring
01:17:18When you look into the mirror
01:17:34What do you see?
01:17:36Reality creeps upon you
01:17:39Weird and ugly
01:17:41How can all this be possible
01:17:44Physically and mentally
01:17:46I can't take it any longer
01:17:49Why am I a freak?
01:17:52Freaks!
01:17:54It is building freaks
01:17:55It is building freaks
01:17:57Freaks, oh yeah
01:17:59It is building freaks
01:18:01My freaks!
01:18:03It is building freaks
01:18:05Freaks!
01:18:07He was turning to a freak
01:18:10Oh yeah
01:18:16It is
01:18:19You don't think
01:18:21It is
01:18:24It is building
01:18:25He's a master
01:18:30Freaky dicky
01:18:32You don't want to be freaking out with
01:18:33Freaky dicky
01:18:34You don't want to be freaking out with
01:18:36The kind of freak that you don't want to be freaking out with
01:18:38The kind of freak that you don't want to be freaking out with
01:18:41Freaky dicky
01:18:41He's a monster
01:18:42Freaky dicky
01:18:43You don't want to be freaking out with
01:18:45With the kind of freaks you don't want to be freaked out for the freaking
01:18:48Not at all, Bubba
01:18:50Freaks
01:18:51He is a building freak
01:18:54He's a monster
01:18:55Freaks
01:18:56He is a building freak
01:18:59He's a harvester
01:19:00Freaks
01:19:01Not the headiest thing you want to be freaking out
01:19:05Freaks
01:19:05He is a building freak
01:19:09He is a building freak
01:19:39He is a building freak