Your partner cheats on you in three ways || Acharya Prashant (2020)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?... ➖➖➖➖➖➖  Video Information: Myth Demolition tour, 14.2.20, Rishikesh, Uttarakhand, India  Context:  ~ Why people obsessed with bodily concern? ~ Why do people cheat in relationship? ~ What is cheating in a relationship at different plane? ~ How your partner cheats you? ~ Your Partner Cheats you in 3 different ways.   Music Credits: Milind Date  ~~~~~

Transcript

00:00I just want to ask I don't know how to how we put what is I don't know if it is

00:17a valid question or not so what is physical cheating and what is mentally

00:21cheating I mean in a relationship of course I'm telling this so if two

00:26person are in a relationship and if one is cheating on the other physically

00:33obviously and still wants to be with that one this is the one kind of cheating

00:40and the second one which we the two couples are living for a very long time

00:45and still the one or the other or the both in their mind or in the fantasy

00:52world they want to you know just be the other person like like if I and this

01:00person is committed I just fantasize being with that person so is it that not

01:07like this is not called cheating or only the physical cheating if somebody goes

01:11and do something is called cheating and what is I mean see your your definition

01:18of cheating describes the plane on which your relationship exists the

01:31relationship could be on one of these three planes broadly the relationship

01:39could be on a spiritual plane it could be on a mental plane it could be on a

01:42physical plane and cheating is possible on all three planes cheating is possible

01:50on on three planes what is a relationship on the physical plane you

02:00give me pleasure I give you pleasure and to ensure an uninterrupted and secured

02:09supply of physical pleasure you remain physically committed to me and I remain

02:14physically committed to you what do I want from you pleasure physical pleasure

02:19and we are committed to each other what does this commitment now mean you must

02:25be there when I need pleasure from you because our relationship is physical we

02:28exist in each other's lives to scratch each other's itch so it should not happen

02:38that a one particular night I have the itch and I don't find you by my bedside

02:45that should not happen so the commitment practically means you should be there

02:51when I need your body and now what is cheating on this level I needed you but

03:00you're somewhere else and that's cheating that's a violation of the

03:06physical contract what is cheating in simple terms a violation of a contract

03:15two parties agree to something and then one of them goes back on the agreement

03:24reneges that's called cheating so if the relationship exists purely on the

03:29physical domain then you will be greatly offended if you find your partner

03:37sleeping around with somebody else because that was everything that there

03:43was to that relationship the body the relationship was all about the body and

03:49the body is with somebody else I have been cheated FIR 100% of the

03:59relationship was about the body and the body is now somewhere else so the

04:06relationship has been 100% destroyed because 100% of it was about the body if

04:15you are very offended if you are absolutely offended if you find someone

04:24physically with someone else then that only means that your relationship itself

04:31is absolutely physical are you getting it if you are absolutely offended if you

04:39find your friend your partner whatsoever I mean with somebody else in the

04:45physical sense then that feeling of absolute offense implies that the

04:52relationship itself is absolutely physical then there is a mental

04:59relationship in the mental relationship there is an exchange of emotions I am

05:05emotionally related to you it's a romantic relationship right you do good

05:13things for me I do good things for you not necessarily in the physical way you

05:18bring me stuff I cook something for you you take me places I say nice things to

05:27you sometimes you click me in a cool pose sometimes I sing a song for you in

05:40that kind of a relationship now in this relationship what is it to cheat in this

05:51kind of a relationship what is the agreement all about you keep doing

05:58things that please me mentally maybe not so much physically but surely mentally

06:05so you keep doing things that please me mentally and I'll keep reciprocating by

06:10doing stuff that pleases you mentally we'll be each other's ego friends hmm I

06:21boost your ego you please my ego what is it to cheat in this kind of a

06:27relationship why did you offend me I asked you am I looking fat and you said

06:33yes on this cheating weren't we supposed to say nice things to each

06:39other why did you tell me that I have no awareness that I've read nothing that I

06:55don't know how to relate with anybody in the world you're not supposed to say

07:00these things neither am I of course it's an agreement so now that's cheating

07:09and where there is cheating there is anger and violence so in this kind of an

07:15emotional relationship the moment you say something bad to the other it's

07:21cheating and you'll be met with a lot of aggression you'll be delivered blows

07:31why such things why did you not look kindly at me I bought this new wonder

07:50dress and you ignored me cheating cheating hmm and obviously in on this

08:05plane if you find someone going around with someone else that too is offensive

08:11to the ego so that too is cheating right but this kind of mutual mental

08:20giving would not be a part of a purely physical relationship there you really

08:28don't want to say good things to the other relationship is purely physical

08:32and mind you such relationships do exist and they exist in greater abundance

08:38than we might conceive in those relationships people do not even say

08:44good things to each other they just undress there is no need to say anything

08:49just get in the bed that's all I don't want to hear my praise from you I'm not

08:56here to share emotions with you hmm neither am I here to write a poem in

09:04praise of your divine beauty we are here to fuck and that's it that's physical

09:11relationship in emotional relationship before you fuck you say nice things to

09:15each other right so you know otherwise it looks quite horrible and you need to

09:23have some face-saving mechanism how do we just get on with it so let's have

09:29that first mandatory half an hour of whatever you call it knowing fully well

09:37that this half an hour is just an alibi you are constantly looking at the clock

09:44let those 30 minutes be completed so that we can get on with business and

09:53then there is relationship on the spiritual plane here the primary

10:01relationship is not with each other here the primary relationship is with

10:06something else you are committed to something let's call it as something

10:15something something he too is committed to something and the two of you are

10:22together because this togetherness will take you both to that something this is

10:32a spiritual relationship in which two people are together not for the sake of

10:35each other but for the sake of that something now what is cheating now

10:45cheating is not about whether you deceived me or whether I deceived you

10:50now cheating is about whether either or both of us deceive that something now I

10:56won't stay with you for a second if I find you not loyal to that something you

11:02do not need to be loyal to me I neither demand nor deserve your loyalty but I

11:10surely want that you need to be loyal to that something and if I find you being

11:15disloyal to that something then you have had it then you have had it you don't

11:24want to please me no problem even I am not here to please you chances are I'll

11:30do stuff that's not going to please you because in going towards that something

11:36the ego has to take a beating you won't usually happily and agreeably move

11:45towards that something so if I am to help you assist you move towards that

11:49something I'll have to push you against your wishes you'll resist not always

11:57maybe but mostly so obviously this is not a relationship in which there is

12:04mutual exchange of pleasure we are not pleasing each other right what are we

12:10doing we are pushing each other we are assisting each other we are helping each

12:14other some people say that's the best way to say we are loving each other but

12:20then that's not the commonly accepted definition only some weird spiritualists

12:27feel that that is the right definition of love what is that right definition of

12:34love we both are pushing each other towards that something what is it

12:39something some people call it truth some call it liberation some call it

12:42realization some call it joy on our own we probably won't reach there

12:53independently right because even though I do have a desire to reach there yet I

13:01have my tendencies I have my inertia I have my laziness and I have my ready

13:09excuses so on my own I would have raised some story and said you know today again

13:16I cannot move in that direction because I have something else more important to

13:20take care of but when you are there you call me out you expose my lies and

13:29that's your place in my life that's your contribution in my life you call my

13:34bluff you do not let me remain my usual tardy self and that's exactly how I

13:42reciprocate I do not let you remain who you are and who you are usually is not

13:50someone you would want to remain even you agree that you do not want to remain

14:01who you are yet there is a tremendous inertia sloth my role is to keep nudging

14:11you pushing you huh sometimes gently prodding you and sometimes kicking you

14:18hard in the butt that's my role in your life right this is a spiritual

14:25relationship this is love on the spiritual plane and we have already

14:30discussed what is meant by cheating on this plane what is cheating now I

14:35entered your life so that we may both move towards that something instead you

14:41got attached to me now this is cheating now this is a very inverted definition

14:47of cheating on the physical and emotional planes it was cheating when

14:54you were looking at somebody else on the spiritual plane it is cheating when you

14:58are looking at me how dare you look at me am I not your lover you're not

15:03supposed to look at your lover you are supposed to look only at that something

15:10if you look at me you are cheating on me don't look at me no the more you look at

15:19me the more you are guilty of adultery because he is the real target he is the

15:27one we both have to go to so we both have to look only at him we won't don't

15:33have to look at each other we are fellow passengers co-passengers you're

15:43traveling alongside each other we are not traveling to each other we have a

15:48shared destination and we are together only so that we may more easily more

15:54practically reach that shared destination this is spiritual affinity

16:03getting it hmm so your definition of cheating tells of who you are if the

16:18relationship is primarily spiritual it won't really matter to you whether you

16:27are able to arrest that person's body or not you will say your body is not my

16:33concern the body anyway does not ever reach anywhere it is not the body that

16:40wants to reach that something so do whatever you want to do with your body I

16:46won't object not my concern my bigger concern is something else and I need to

16:55take care of that so why it is like people are obsessed with that only

17:05bodily concern or bodily cheating like if two person are loving in madly loving

17:10with each other like for years eight nine years and suddenly one finds out

17:16key he cheated on her or him all the love and everything vanished and they

17:22started looking that person that he started looking that person or she

17:27started looking that person as an enemy yeah like so just one thing I mean I am

17:33just confused about the key only that physical physicality or the body is that

17:37much important to that only shows that for the last eight years the

17:42relationship was only physical if for the reason of a physical transgression

17:50the relationship can collapse then the relationship itself was just physical

17:56what else is the conclusion not obvious you have had a relationship since eight

18:04years and then one fine day you find that your partner has been sleeping with

18:10somebody else you're so outraged that you break up what does that tell about

18:17the relationship that the physical part was absolutely central to that

18:23relationship it's just that you know one feels a little guilty a little

18:33ashamed of accepting that ninety nine point nine nine percent of our

18:39relationships are just sexual so we cover it up with fancy names

18:47hmm covering it up with fancy names we somehow managed to convince ourselves

18:53as well that the relationship is not just physical but all that self

19:01deception falls into pieces when you have instances like these you know

19:10instances of cheating and such things it was just physical that's how animals

19:23relate don't they yeah we are animals hmm we are animals and animals get can

19:32get extremely violent if they discover their mate being stolen away there was

19:47one board I once read it said how to be cautious of dogs it particularly warned

19:57against disturbing dogs on two or three occasions one when they're having their

20:03food second when they are fighting among themselves and they are angry and third

20:11when they're meeting don't disturb them at that point even the most emaciated

20:20kind of dog will leap at your throat like a lion if it is in the process of

20:29lovemaking that's how our relationships as are as well you know we are we are

20:37fundamentally animals but we are very cunning animals animals do not try to

20:45obfuscate their intentions dogs do it on roads and no dog first allures the

21:01bitch with gifts or promises or rounds or stuff over the fire hmm or holy

21:21chants all that doesn't happen the dog knows what it wants the bitch knows what

21:28it wants and they just get over it quite quickly done and dusted human

21:36beings spend five years seven years in courtship knowing fully well that the

21:45objective is just one hmm but neither the man nor the woman assuming it's a

21:54man-woman relationship would dare confess it to the other especially not

22:02in India and especially not if you are a woman you cannot tell the man you know

22:11all I want is your body here is a hint the man won't be offended even if he's

22:26an Indian it's far better to be honest

22:32very very rare our relationships on a higher plane we have moved out of the

22:43jungle but within we remain animals and it's been not a long time since we

22:57migrated out of the jungle right look at the entire evolutionary history we are

23:04pretty recent immigrants so the jungle is very much alive and kicking within us

23:10see

23:27you

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