Malcolm In The Middle Season 2 Episode 2 Halloween Approximately
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00:00Oh, here.
00:07Turned carbonated.
00:13Expired two months ago.
00:17You don't have the guts.
00:30When was the last Christmas we had eggnog?
00:38I think before Dewey.
00:46It's all you, man.
00:51This is a game that has no winners.
00:54Yes, no, maybe.
01:00I don't know.
01:02Can you repeat the question?
01:06You're not the boss of me now.
01:08You're not the boss of me now.
01:11You're not the boss of me now.
01:14And you're not so big.
01:17You're not the boss of me now.
01:20You're not the boss of me now.
01:23You're not the boss of me now.
01:25And you're not so big.
01:30Life is unfair.
01:41Well, that's the last of my Halloween candy.
01:48All that sugar.
01:49All those cavities.
01:51We're the real winners, guys.
01:54Are you coming over Saturday?
01:58For what?
02:00For what?
02:01The Leonid meteor shower.
02:04Only once in a lifetime do the mighty Leonids reveal their full beauty before bedtime.
02:09I wish I could, guys, but Francis is coming home this weekend.
02:13And since he missed Halloween last week, we're gonna hang out together.
02:17Are you sure?
02:19Stevie has a new telescope.
02:21And I was thinking that after the meteor shower, we could watch Mrs. Feldman's shower.
02:30And you call yourself a scientist.
02:33It's been a week, sweetie.
02:34Take off the costume.
02:35I don't like it.
02:36It's filthy.
02:37Come here.
02:38Go put some clothes on, sweetie.
02:39I don't like it.
02:40I don't like it.
02:41It's filthy.
02:42Come here.
02:43Go put some clothes on, sweetie.
02:44I don't like it.
02:45I don't like it.
02:46I don't like it.
02:47It's filthy.
02:48Come here.
02:49Go put some clothes on, sweetie.
02:50I don't like it.
02:51It's filthy.
02:52Come here.
02:53Come here, sweetie.
02:54What you doing?
02:55I don't know.
02:56There's something about the way you swish that brush around.
03:11It just drives me.
03:13Damn that new car!
03:16That's three times this week!
03:22A joy-riding son of a...
03:24Hal!
03:25Just call the police!
03:26I have!
03:27They won't do anything!
03:29Lois, I swear, one of these days I'm gonna catch up to that punk, I'm gonna drag him out
03:34of his car, and I'm gonna beat him senseless until he understands that there's a certain
03:39thing called the law!
03:41Don't let him get to you.
03:43Come on!
03:44Well, when's it going to stop?
03:47When Dewey here is smashed into a lifeless pulp?
03:51Put some clothes on, son.
03:54Halloween sucked this year without Francis.
04:06The eggs and shaving cream I can keep.
04:08But what am I ever gonna do with this stuff?
04:11They're supposed to be our first Halloween as mindless vandals.
04:16But Francis got in trouble at school, so we had to go trick-or-treating like a bunch
04:20of little kids.
04:21Oh, look at you three.
04:22What are you?
04:23A beat-up hillbilly.
04:24And you?
04:25Just give us the candy.
04:26Oh, I bet you're a ghost.
04:27I'm a marshmallow.
04:28Oh, and a cute one to that.
04:29I just wanna stick a fork in your belly and roast you over an open flame till you're nice
04:30and crispy.
04:31It's embarrassing at our age.
04:32Coming home with candy?
04:33Give me that.
04:34Hey!
04:35Hey!
04:36Hey!
04:37Hey!
04:38Pull over, you getless!
04:40Hey!
04:41Hey!
04:42Pull over, you getless!
04:44Hey!
04:45Hey!
04:46Hey!
04:47Hey!
04:48Hey!
04:49Hey!
04:50Hey!
04:51Hey!
04:52Hey!
04:54Hey!
04:55Hey!
04:56Hey!
04:57Hey!
04:59Hey!
04:59Hey, hey!
05:04Hey!
05:05Hey!
05:06Hey!
05:07Hey!
05:08Hey!
05:10텐c Sand.
05:11Hey!
05:12How's that?
05:14Hey!
05:15Hey!
05:16...
05:18Hey!
05:19Hey!
05:20Hey!
05:21Hey!
05:22Hey!
05:23Hey!
05:24Hey!
05:25is it's not a job for one man it is a community problem and all we have to do is work together
05:36if we all keep an eye out for this guy i think we should be able to catch him pretty quickly
05:41why don't you clean up your yard why don't you just move
05:49look this isn't about me these meetings are always about you you're the sole reason we meet
05:55those kids a year should be in jail how would you like it if you scrimped and saved all your life
06:00to live in a nice neighborhood and then a bunch of godless monsters moved in and destroyed all your
06:07dreams okay back to the subject i'd like to pass around a sign-up sheet for a stakeout
06:14well thanks for your time
06:29hello hi francis welcome home
06:33too old to hug your mom mom i've been waiting at the bus station for three hours
06:42why didn't anybody come to pick me up what i sent your father
06:47oh francis i'm sorry he's battling his arch enemy what the squirrel's back no it's a human this time
07:05francis hey did you guys tear it up on halloween oh yeah we were out of control kids are running
07:14people are screaming babies are crying we went trick-or-treating it just didn't feel right without
07:23you i had fun shut up dewey couldn't you have gotten in trouble after halloween guys i'm sorry i know i
07:32let you down but i really didn't have a choice i mean the commandant's fake leg was just lying there
07:38in the closet begging for a novelty bumper sticker it was a snap decision but i really think i did the
07:45right thing that's all right there's always next year well why do we have to wait a year
07:53guys halloween isn't a date on the calendar yeah it is it's the 31st no halloween is in your hearts
08:02every time a little kid cries in fear that's halloween every time something repulsive ends up in a
08:12mailbox that is halloween as long as you carry the spirit of destruction and vandalism in your hearts
08:22every day is halloween no look it is the 31st
08:30men we are going to have halloween this weekend
08:44hal you have been out here for seven hours come to bed look lois i am doing this for the boys
08:51you can't just let our street become a speedway gotta protect my family even if it means sitting
08:58in this van every night for a month it's a matter of principle
09:04before we go to sleep i'd like you to replace my pee jar
09:21oh
09:27no
09:29son of a
09:30oh
09:35oh
09:36die
09:38just
09:47Boys, the time has come.
10:00You're about to see the device that will change the face of Halloween forever.
10:08Behold.
10:08That's not a flying chocolate maker.
10:19This is just a bunch of tubes.
10:21Trust me.
10:22I do trust you, but I expected something a little more.
10:27Oh my God, will this work?
10:29Absolutely.
10:30What? What is it?
10:32It looks like an incredibly powerful slingshot.
10:35A slingshot capable of hurling objects over a distance of two city blocks.
10:44Picture yourself.
10:46You're walking down the street.
10:49You're minding your own business when all of a sudden, bam!
10:53You're hit by a 10-pound balloon filled with shaving cream, paint, or any number of foul-smelling liquids.
10:59And you never, ever know who did it.
11:08It's the perfect weapon.
11:13Reese, are you crying?
11:16No!
11:16What are you doing?
11:37I had it, Lewis.
11:39I'm building a speed bump.
11:41How would you look at yourself?
11:43It's 4 o'clock in the morning.
11:45You're out here in your pajamas mixing cement in a wheelbarrow.
11:50It's going to rip the suspension right out from under him.
11:53There'll be some chassis damage.
11:55Oh boy, I'd hate to be the one who has to realign his connecting rods.
12:02That guy's not going to know what hit him.
12:07Yee-haw!
12:08Okay, we got eggs, shaving cream, water balloons.
12:24I don't know, I'm just not feeling it.
12:27These eggs are pretty rotten.
12:29Yeah, I know, but it's all just so standard.
12:32I mean, we have a whole new breed of weapon here.
12:38We need to live up to that.
12:40We need to start thinking outside the box.
12:42Best thing better.
13:08Best thing better.
13:09Best thing better.
13:10so if you'll just spend a couple of hours waiting for him here I know the guy
13:15will come racing by and then you can arrest him and this whole thing will be
13:18over once and for all I want some help protecting my family so you weren't held
13:25up a gunpoint okay that was a lie but I've been calling you people for weeks
13:32and not getting any help no one is listening to me this should be bump
13:40it was a good bump hell
13:55you want a sandwich
14:05easy
14:10good just let me talk to him I get this whole thing straightened out in two
14:20minutes
14:21get the car
14:32let's go through this one more time Malcolm what's your job aimer Reese loader Dewey what do you do if you see mom and dad coming
14:58excellent where'd they go anyway
15:08okay look we've got his license plate we've got his address that's more than enough to get
15:18Hal
15:19get it now
15:24what are you doing
15:25shh get home
15:26letting the air out of his tires
15:28no Hal
15:29okay but then we go home
15:32hello
15:33have an idea you can't steal his car I'm not stealing his car I'm just taking it elsewhere for a while
15:46I'll teach the kid a lesson
15:48no Hal
15:49I'm putting the key in the lock
15:51no Hal
15:52I'm opening the door
15:53no Hal
15:54I'm getting in the car
15:56no
15:56I am turning on the engine
15:58ow ow
16:02just
16:02no
16:03this is crazy
16:07you can't just take a person's car there are loads
16:11serious engine
16:19you must have bored out the cylinders in this puppy
16:23pull over
16:24remember that maverick you stabbed
16:26I don't want to talk about your old muscle car
16:29scared
16:35of course I'm scared
16:37you've turned into a crazy person
16:39do it again
16:43alright let's try a test shot
16:53Reese
16:54just get me a small water balloon
16:56Malcolm you got me a target
16:59we've got a target
17:12listen you idiot
17:15the optics on a Newtonian reflector don't even approach a Schmidt Cassegrain
17:20it's a nice entry why don't you join it
17:23shrine burn center admitting Kyle
17:26ladies
17:27the stars
17:30he's right
17:32why squabble when we have the Leonids
17:35you hear something
17:38yes
17:49yes
17:50yes
17:55you
18:55Diaper, diaper, diaper!
19:03Diaper, diaper, diaper!
19:08All right.
19:14No more of those.
19:44Let's go!
20:14I love you so much.
20:22I can't believe the power of this thing.
20:25If I was to fall in the wrong hands...
20:27I see an old lady!
20:29Reload! Reload! Reload!
20:44I'm serious, Hal. What are we gonna do?
20:47The time to drop off the car and go home is like 20 miles ago.
20:52What if we just kept going?
20:53What are you talking about?
20:55I'm talking about you and me running away and spending the rest of our lives on some...
21:00I don't know, some hidden beach in Mexico.
21:03With no jobs and no kids.
21:06Oh, it's not that simple, Hal.
21:09Why not?
21:11I mean, we have to change our names, but...
21:14I'd be Raul.
21:20You'd be Consuela.
21:23Consuela?
21:24Si.
21:33You think they'd send the Federales after us?
21:36Of course.
21:38But they'd never find us.
21:40We'd be outlaws.
21:41Oh, we'd be legends.
21:43We'd be living every parent's dream.
21:46We'd be folk heroes.
21:48Like Bonnie and Clyde.
21:49Raul and Consuela.
21:52Sparing fish.
21:55Climbing for coconuts.
21:58Living naked as monkeys.
22:00Oh.
22:02Raul and Consuela.
22:03All of us want to see the tonight rule.
22:20Totally.
22:20We own you all.
22:23No one is safe.
22:24We are the kings of this block.
22:26Jack.
22:27Did you hear me, world?
22:29Violence just got a little more random.
22:39Reload!
22:39Reload!
22:40This is incredible.
22:44Their accuracy is amazing.
22:46Make it stop!
22:47Who are these guys?
22:52It's tofu.
22:54Angle!
22:5447.9 degrees!
22:57Check!
23:00Brake's locked!
23:02This is for all the time that I'm being called butt cleaner!
23:08Fire!
23:12What do you mean, crowboids?
23:14Oh.
23:15I guess they built their own catapult!
23:17That's impossible!
23:19How could they do that?
23:20Where would they get the materials?
23:22It's a funnel and surgical tubing!
23:25Stevie's garage is filled with that stuff!
23:28What are we gonna do?
23:29We're gonna fight!
23:31They're crumblings!
23:32They're nothing!
23:33We can fight!
23:34We can fight!
23:35We can fight!
23:37We can fight!
23:39We can fight!
23:41We have to surrender.
23:43Francis is right.
23:45We have to give up, Reese.
23:46Come on, you wussies!
23:48You should be over there!
23:49I'll kick their asses myself!
23:51Ah!
23:52Put it off!
23:54Oh my god!
23:56Put it off!
23:57They're surrendering!
23:59I suppose I've ever been offered the chance to surrender!
24:04Keep firing!
24:07Oh!
24:09Well, they won't even let us surrender honorably.
24:13Boys?
24:15It's time to run away like cowards.
24:16It's time to run away like cowards.
24:25Well, there is some comfort in knowing what the next two hours of my life are gonna be like.
24:31Oh!
24:32Look!
24:33A shooting star!
24:35I'm thinking much more clearly now.
24:47Yeah, I think we both are, Hal.
24:50I guess Mexico's not really an option.
24:53No, I don't think so.
24:54No.
24:54It would've been fun, though.
24:57Oh, yeah.
24:59So, what do we do now?
25:03Well, I assume the car's been reported stolen already.
25:06And we've probably left our share of DNA evidence in here.
25:13That's only a 30-mile walk.
25:38We'll be home for breakfast.
25:42You know, I'm glad we didn't run away.
25:44Yeah, me too.
25:48What was my name again?
25:50Raul, baby.
25:52Raul, baby.
25:52I love you.
26:01Raul, baby.
26:12Raul, baby.