Malcolm In The Middle Season 2 Episode 11 Old Mrs Old
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00:29Checkmate? Checkmate? Checkmate! So it is! See, it just goes to show you. Yes, well, good game, son.
00:47Lord!
00:50Hey, let's me win a basketball.
00:54Yes, no, maybe. I don't know. Can you repeat the question?
01:04You're not the boss of me now. You're not the boss of me now. You're not the boss of me now. And you're not so big.
01:15Life is not fair.
01:25Life is not fair.
01:33All right, spin around twice, hit the ball on the second bounce.
01:37It's two points for a car and three for a fire hydrant.
01:41It's an hour if they catch it, and two if they hit you with the ball. Now, if they miss, it's at Google, which I'll explain when we get there. You're up.
01:49It's amazing. Reese can't pass math, but he's invented over, like, 50 games. Fun games.
01:56Okay, spit! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it! Come on!
02:08Not Mrs. Griffin's yard.
02:14There it is.
02:15Dude, she doesn't like anybody in her yard.
02:17I'll be in and out of there before she knows it, right?
02:20Just because she's old and mean doesn't give her the right to keep our balls.
02:24I'm sold. Go for it.
02:27Fine, I'll do it.
02:29It's no big deal.
02:32I don't see you moving.
02:34What are you doing in my yard?
02:52Let go! It's my ball!
02:53My property, my ball!
02:55Who said you could come into my yard?
02:58What are you doing?
03:00Choose, boy! Hair or ball?
03:03Ball!
03:06You broke her arm?
03:08I was getting a ball.
03:10You broke her arm for a ball?
03:13No, I already had the ball. Then I pushed her away.
03:16You pushed her and broke her arm for a ball!
03:20Was it a special ball, son?
03:22It was just a flat old tennis ball.
03:24Sometimes I don't know why he does the things he does.
03:27At least she's not suing us.
03:29You just be thankful we have absolutely nothing of value in this house.
03:33Count your blessings, son.
03:34I talked to Mrs. Griffin. This is what's going to happen.
03:37You are going to go there every day after school and help that poor old woman until her arm heals.
03:42Every day?
03:43Not one word! Every day!
03:47End of story!
03:49Hello?
03:50Hey, Ma, listen. Did you happen to talk to Richie's mom recently?
03:54Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did.
03:55I ran into her at work the other day.
03:57Did you happen to talk about Richie at all?
04:00Oh, that poor woman.
04:01Do you know how much grief that boy is putting her through?
04:04I told her if she had a brain in her head, she'd pack him off to military school and straighten him out before he got into serious trouble.
04:12Okay, thanks. Gotta go.
04:16Well, it wasn't her.
04:17I need a new backpack.
04:31Again? How do you keep ruining them?
04:34I don't know.
04:35Well, I'm not buying you another backpack. You just find something in the closet.
04:40Okay.
04:47Maybe it's a good thing that I'm doing this. I'm not saying I'm completely to blame, but in a way, I am responsible.
05:03I guess I was trespassing, and I did hip-check her.
05:10And who knows? Maybe she won't be that bad. Maybe she'll be like a grandma.
05:14Well, not like my grandma. Like a nice grandma.
05:19Hi, I'm Malcolm.
05:21I'm the kid who broke your arm. I'm really sorry.
05:24Here, fill this up. I'm not having any druggies in my house.
05:27God, she's like a homeless person. And this house is her shopping cart.
05:46Get out of the way, you damn ugly beast.
05:50What'd you do, stupid?
05:54What?
05:55Does this look like a rubber band jar to you?
05:57This is a rubber band jar.
06:00Are you ignorant or just stupid?
06:02Neither. There's no such thing.
06:04Did you finish moving my papers?
06:06Almost.
06:07Do you read all these?
06:09What, are you writing a book? Just move them.
06:15What are you?
06:16What? Like how old?
06:18No.
06:19What are you? Polack? Swede? Apache?
06:24I really don't know.
06:26Uh-huh.
06:28Ah, much.
06:30Well, whatever you are, stay away from my liquor.
06:34Look, it's almost 5 o'clock. I'm gonna get going soon.
06:37Really?
06:38I didn't realize my arms stopped being broken at 5.
06:43What am I gonna do for dinner?
06:45Can't you just order takeout?
06:47I'm not giving those Mexicans my money.
06:50They're as bad as that Lithuanian that picks my screens.
06:54Boy, did he love ice cubes.
06:57Those-wanians and their ice cubes.
07:00I can't believe how horrible she is.
07:03I'm just gonna ignore her.
07:04But you just try and get those people to pay for anything.
07:09Oh, he got his face alive.
07:12I suppose you're Dutch.
07:15You've got eyes like a Dutchman.
07:17No pinny.
07:18You've got those pinny, Dutch eyes.
07:20What's that?
07:21My new backpack.
07:22Dewey, that's not a backpack.
07:23That's Mom's purse.
07:24Now go back and get something else.
07:25No.
07:26Dewey, you're wearing an invitation to an ass-kicking.
07:28I like it.
07:29Look, I don't think you understand.
07:31Kids like me are dreaming about something like this.
07:33We look around the playground and we see normal kid, normal kid, and a kid with a purse.
07:36Who do you think is gonna get creamed?
07:50Is one of the normal kids fat?
07:51It doesn't matter.
07:52He's gonna be fat every day.
07:56Now the kid with the purse, he might not wear it again.
07:58I don't care, I like it.
07:59with the purse he might not wear it again i don't care i like it give me that no you don't know what
08:05these animals are capable of let's go i'm trying to protect you
08:17richie what are you doing we have inspection you can't sleep all morning
08:21dude not cool richie this isn't like home you can't do whatever you want these guys are hardcore
08:31and also there's some crappy flat pillows what do i talk to about that stand up
08:46pajamas cadet sir i'm sorry for my fellow cadet's appearance
08:51he's fresh from civilian life and is taking a little time to adjust hey are you the dude who
08:56hands out the guns and you can see he's very anxious to assimilate himself to our military lifestyle
09:04what's your name cadet richie pleasure listen closely cadet this is not going to be easy for you
09:15your family sent you here because you couldn't handle it at home maybe you were coddled well there
09:22is no coddling here make a mistake and you will be punished be aware cadet i am keeping my eye on you
09:31good one pardon you're keeping your eye on me you know you got only one eye like popeye i think it's cool that
09:47you're cool with it that's amusing i've never heard that before carry on
10:02popeye quite amusing
10:04is he like our butler or something
10:16i can't close my eyes every time i do i see what was under that robe on the inside of my eyelids
10:22i can't go back there welcome why aren't you ever mrs griffins she says she doesn't need me anymore
10:28there's some new medicine it's good for old people's bones
10:31she has a lot of pride i think it bothers her when i'm over there
10:36i am so sorry that's all right i'm sure when i was his age i wouldn't want to hang around with
10:44some old person whose arm i had broken oh oh
10:55you're a mean thoughtless little boy trying to make an old woman suffer more than she already has
11:03yes ma'am you're a nasty little liar aren't you well liar you're the one that's gonna suffer
11:10as soon as we pick up my prescription and get home oh damn cast it's just like a greek sailor
11:20stop pawing at me hey billy
11:26you know what i've been thinking you know i never give you anything for your birthday
11:30yeah well here happy birthday i already have a backpack not like this one see this one has a
11:40whistle why are you flinching i'm giving you something nice but i'm not gonna take it here
11:48just hold it no why won't you let me do something nice i don't want it you're gonna wear this and
11:54there's nothing you can do about it dad you have to do something about dewey taking mom's purse to
12:00school don't worry son it's just a face aren't you worried about how this reflects on you as a parent
12:06reese one boy's purse is another boy's book bag if he's european besides i can't tell you how many
12:13times i've been jealous of your mother and her purse you know we men have to shove our whole lives in a
12:19little square of leather that we then have to sit on i'm not saying that i condone it but i am saying
12:25let do we have his purse perhaps he'll blaze a trail for the rest of us i don't think these new pills are
12:35working i keep taking them and i don't feel anything don't be stingy with that lotion
12:45you're gonna need a knife when you get to the corns if i didn't know any better i'd say that new
12:55doctor was hungarian dr freeman freeman if that's not an ellis island hand me down i'll eat my sunday hat
13:11i don't think you're supposed to take those pills with alcohol oh now you're worried about me
13:23where was that when you broke this arm you're just like that that nosy crowd cleaning lady of mine
13:31your hands are similar too small like a girl's okay that's enough you're a horrible person and i hate
13:46you i know i'm not supposed to hate people but if anybody should be hated it's you
13:51it's a good thing you called us how long has she been like this hours she passes out for a while
14:07wakes up takes more pills and passes out again pernavutol what's the dosage 100 milligrams two
14:13by three she's taking vermitrad with that i doubt it that's been contraindicated since 87 no this
14:22seems like a pretty straightforward alcohol sedative reaction absolutely if she's anything like my mom
14:29mrs griffin will be knocked loopy for the next three and a half hours we're completely unsupervised
14:37are you thinking what i'm thinking
14:53is this what you were thinking not even remotely i was thinking more along the lines of
15:07why doesn't he have to cut his hair i don't know why does spangler let him wear a bathrobe to class
15:14don't know maybe he saved spangler's life he didn't save spangler's life well it's gotta be
15:20something because it's just not right richie take a quarter from me thanks chief no problem richie
15:31you guys talking about spangler's son he's not spangler's son i grew up with him he's a screw-up he's a
15:38slack dumbass who lives in his mother's basement it's gotta be spangler he must be mellowing
15:44you come in here put a paper lantern around a light bulb
16:11and lo and behold you're the queen of the nile i say i've always depended on the kindness of strangers
16:22that was great what's next i have no idea we've done everything we can do in this house
16:40it can't be over come on think with our brains and your gift for reckless anti-social behavior
16:47there's got to be something else we can do
16:49oh my god i've never felt more alive we're all lost this rocks hey i think 45 minutes of rubbing
17:03out corns is worth at least an hour joyride at the best you ignored us at the worst you tormented us
17:13now the tables have turned the crowd blinds are mobile behold our daring do
17:25what what's going on
17:33what's going on
17:51she saw me she saw me i am so dead we're all dead i'm not going to get into a good college
18:00mama's gonna kill me we should just end this we should drive off a cliff like film and louise
18:07why does everything end in a group suicide with you okay okay stop panicking let's all just calm down
18:15and think about this okay okay first of all i don't think she saw you guys so there's no reason we all
18:21should get in trouble lind guys
18:31steve you want some help pop the trunk
18:39andre sir it's about richie is he all right he's more than all right he's in heaven
18:46don't you think you've been letting him slide a little yes you're letting him get away with murder
18:52i certainly am are you aware that he thinks he's immune to any punishment that he can do whatever
18:58he wants i am and he can sir are you just messing with my head it's not always about you cadet well then what is it
19:10i'm not an idiot don't you think that i know richie is a moron hell he is a cancer he is a cancer to be eradicated
19:28if richie's attitude spread to the other cadets there's no telling what it would do to marlon
19:33what do you mean you're treating him like a god and that makes the other cadets furious doesn't it it
19:41makes them want to hurt him to hurt your little friend wait a minute you're turning us against him
19:50you want us to get rid of richie ourselves bravo cadet you see every threat to marlon must be treated
19:59differently you francis had to be beaten down like a dog richie is being killed with kindness or at
20:08least pummeled into unconsciousness well that is pretty clever sir but what makes you think i won't
20:19just tell richie about your plan oh feel free but i don't think you will he's my best friend why wouldn't
20:26i tell him because you hate him too you're resentful of all the special privileges that he gets the
20:34expensive dinners the use of the academy golf cart the way he gets shiatsu massages when the rest of you
20:40are suffering through survival training that doesn't matter of course i would tell him i would be a traitor
20:47if i didn't you would be wouldn't you richie no time to talk man wait this is important dude watch it
21:02this shirt was a gift from edwin it cost 200 bucks richie i'm trying to tell you something well you better
21:08say quick edwin will freak if i'm late for the match we've got early dinner reservations you know
21:16what they can wait fine
21:24no wait i have to tell you this you're my friend and i owe it to you spangler is only being nice to
21:31you so that we all hate you and beat the snot out of you i can't believe it i know you're jealous of me
21:41and edwin being buds so you're trying to shove a wedge between us that's sad man just remember i told
21:51you whatever man sour grapes but i told you whatever hey dudes cool hoods
22:12think think i'm a genius i could think of something why can't i think of something
22:21where you've been car thief come back to steal my jewelry i'm sorry i'm sorry it was a horrible
22:29mistake i don't know why i would do something so stupid but i did and i'm sorry
22:38oh my god my mom's here what am i gonna do
22:43you're a good lady you're a good person please if you have any sort of decency you'll give me a five
22:50second head start so i can head towards mexico
22:54please i'm begging you you don't know what she's capable of
23:04melcom get your things we're going home i am so sorry for all of this sorry for what my son stole
23:11your car he was out joyriding in it joyriding that was no joyride for me i was passed out in the back
23:18seat what i made a mistake with my medication and he drove me to the hospital huh he was driving you
23:29to the hospital yes who else is going to do it i'm just an old woman i live alone
23:34malcolm when there's an emergency you should come to us yeah you're right i don't know what i was
23:43thinking because i wasn't thinking and i just did it i'm sorry and i yeah
23:52well it was pretty quick thinking he's a good boy i don't know what i would have done without him
24:02thanks in fact he's so kind he offered to come help me before school every day too
24:10before school really i thought that was too much too especially since these old bones heal so slowly
24:23it'll be months but he insisted didn't you
24:29it'll be months after school every day yeah oh these corns are burning you better go get the lotion
24:40well i'll leave you to your work guess you won't be coming home for supper
24:46and to think i was all ready to punish you
24:49don't just stand there thief let's go hey who's your stupid backpack back
25:05what's up with the flower field hey percy i love your purse it's fur zone good it's a book bag
25:14it's a girl's purse that makes you a girl no it doesn't are you calling me a liar
25:37nice
25:44nice
26:14nice